If she changes from a blue maple leaf to a green one, people might think she’s Vindicator from Alpha Flight! (and maybe think Amazi-Girl is a gender-bent Puck?)
I’m not sure that fits completely since Piccolo (senior) and Kami were originally the same person. And I think Piccolo (junior) was a sort of reincarnation of just that half of the original person they were. So that might have been more a case of putting the pieces of a person back together.
Maybe we should go with Piccolo and Nail as an example.
I’m not so sure about that. Piccolo Daimao was completely evil while Piccolo Junior was capable of good and changed with time so Junior is really more of a son than reincarnation
Reincarnating does not mean that you remain completely unchanged, however. It may be the same soul, but it belongs to a new person with their own unique experiences. It’s a quite different view from Christianity where the soul gets to have one single go at living and then it’s waiting for judgement day (or getting judged immediately and going to heaven or hell or limbo, various churches and pop culture strains disagree on some of the particulars). The general gist in Buddhism is to strive for enlightenment until you can stop reincarnating. Kami was all the enlightened bits of the soul, and Piccolo Senior was all the unenlightened bits of the same soul. After reincarnating once that part was ever so slightly more enlightened, which is why Piccolo Junior was able to change in ways Piccolo Senior couldn’t have.
Despite her questionable behavior in the past, I’m also really cheering for her now. She’s trying to better herself and now she’s trying to help someone else with similar struggles, and I really respect that.
All my brother’s RA does is stick dinosaur cutouts on his door. I think my brother’s met him a couple times in 2 years?
(She was fired after that, and I don’t think I ever even met the replacement– including when I had to take academic leave that then required me to move out of the dorms in the middle of the semester due to my own suicidality.)
Lucky you. My RA was my roommate. Until he got tired of my shit and moved to another room. I got a lot single rooms that way. It worked in the Air Force, too.
Nah. I was an unsocialized mountaineer from an abusive family and didn’t have much concept there were people around me. I was alone inside my own little shell and didn’t know what I was doing to others.
Are we talking Death from Neil Gaiman’s Sandman series? Cause she was cute. I’d take that as a “punishment” sure. Long as I still get to live, of course.
I do hope having it put into words will help both of them, but I don’t know that for sure yet. I hope that they can be friends, but it’s difficult to tell where this conversation may end up leading.
To live would be an awfully big adventure, Amber. Hook told me so.
People think English is a useless degree. What they don’t realise is that English majors are trained to take narratives apart and figure out how they work. To analyse what’s going on behind the words and the actions. Spy agencies love English PhDs as analysts.
We’re also good at knowing how to use symbolism at the proper moment. For instance, when a character flicks on the lights to indicate that they’re going to shine light onto a situation, even if the other person would prefer to keep things in the dark.
In other words, Ruth is currently presenting us with a masterclass in what English degrees can be good for, and we her fellows salute her for it.
The face Ruth is making in my gravatar is the face all English majors make in the split second between someone suggesting that English is a useless degree and that person’s gratuitously violent demise.
That’s cute. Not a STEM subject so should be cut from formal education. Oh yh and how are you going to take my femur after I sever both brachial plexi thus unplugging your arms from your nervous system.
I should’ve been an English major. Knew it, too. But I also knew I didn’t have the concentration to read all the tedious old literature English majors have to read. So I majored in math.
They say that all math majors eventually go insane.
A different hypothesis is, math majors get into math because they were insane to begin with.
On the other hand, if, when considering the equation for your future, you valued math higher than English, perhaps you actually needed the extra math study.
Unfortunately, now you’ve studied it too much, and it has addled your mind to the point that you’re running around in clown-face trying to get Batman-senpai to notice you. Metaphorically speaking. Well, one hopes.
I was only teasing, okay. Please don’t use any weird gases on me..
To be fair that’s a problem in physics too* (sure, in practical terms one direction is much easier than the other(s?), but theoretically there’s no reason that physical laws can’t work in both directions)(except for thermodynamics)
*or at least that’s what I remember from a course on time I took 10 years ago…
On the individual particle physics level, even thermodynamics isn’t a bar, IIRC.
When particles interact, their properties are conserved, whichever direction you run the interaction in.
Two particles collide and fuse, emitting a photon. A photon impacts on a particle, splitting it in two. There’s no difference.
On the macro level entropy wins, but that not being true on the micro level is intriguing.
Or at least it was from what I recall studying physics 20+ years ago.
“Equation for my future.” As if I were capable of imagining the future. I have no sense of time passing. I took math because I was curious. There was something going on there and I wanted to know what it was. Yeah, I know, introductory calculus would’ve satisfied that. But I had to major in something.
That’s true. If you were capable of imagining the future, you’d likely have gone into one of art, creative writing, music composition, or extra sensory chronomanipulation with an emphasis in postmodern studies.
I guess getting into a field of study with an actual shot at post-graduation employment has its own merits, though.
I mean, that’s the crux of a lot of Amber’s issues, isn’t it?
Not quite a ‘death wish’ but the next level down. Poor Amber.
And yeah, even in Amber’s head where death comes as a punishment, it would not go well if it happened. Even if Sal didn’t go to jail, she’d have been horrified if she actually killed Amber imo.
Are you kidding? Mike is an expert at reading people and responding accordingly. Pointed in the right direction he’d be fantastic. (Yes, he needs to be less of a sociopath.)
I’m still trying to figure out WHY Mike would go into social work. The world is a target-rich environment for him anyways, and going into social work just puts him in contact with potential victims who are too easy to be fun to mess with (I know this, because it’s a similar philosophy to the one I use when it comes to breaking game systems – if you give me an obvious “I win” button, there’s no point to it; it’s the ones that you need to combo at least 3 things that are entertaining).
Mike is an equal opportunity destroyer. It would put him in contact with very vulnerable people, but also the abusers and assholes and terrible people that would require more work to destroy as well. And we know Mike doesn’t actually like letting such people get off scot-free.
And otherwise, generally it is just a very weird trend for people to go into courses completely ill-suited for them e.g. taking psychology when they have no patience for people; learning teaching when they don’t like children. And it is very strange and disconcerting.
Do we? He hasn’t shown any signs of targeting the abusers and assholes since the childhood sequence with Blaine.
He’s seemed quite content to stick with the easy targets – mostly his two “friends” who lack the self-esteem to cut ties with him and Walky, who’s stuck as his roommate.
Nah, they already said Mike would need to be far less of a shithead. His shitheadedness is the problem, though, so that is why I was him 24601 miles away from the social work program.
In darkness let me dwell; the ground shall sorrow be,
The roof despair, to bar all cheerful light from me;
The walls of marble black, that moist’ned still shall weep;
My music, hellish jarring sounds, to banish friendly sleep.
Thus, wedded to my woes, and bedded in my tomb,
O let me living die, till death doth come, till death doth come.
Well, OK, maybe there was something wrong with Dowland.
That’s always been the thing that saved me. By the time I had the ability to move enough to do anything about it, I didn’t feel bad enough to do it any more. If you could stop living just by deciding to, I’d have been screwed.
The sucky thing is that some people when they start antidepressants tend to get their energy back before their mood improves. Which is why you have to watch people who have just started them carefully because they now have the energy to act and their mood is still at a dangerusly low point.
So I’m assuming a lot of people here are as a lost for words as I was last night on the 5$ Patreon page….This Over the top method of penance it’s just damn foolish, I don’t know anything else to say about this
People don’t tend to know this unfortunately. They tend to think it must mean ‘I want to be dead’ when it can mean just not caring if the result is death or not wanting to continue to be alive. It can be taking small risks that may on an off-chance kill you, but likely won’t. It can be thinking it would be nice to just be in a void instead of alive.
It’s possible, but I don’t think we’ve actually seen that in Amber. I don’t recall a “It’d be nice if I wasn’t alive anymore” or anything similar.
She takes a lot of risks as Amazi-Girl, but that in and of itself isn’t sufficient, I think.
The “End it” in the Sal fight is the biggest clue, but there are other explanations for that than that she was actually trying to use Sal to kill her. If it was even that active, she could have let herself fail at any point and gotten herself killed.
Suicidal ideation doesn’t have to be active, it can be passive – Amber’s is passive, which is literally what Ruth is calling her out on.
She takes a lot of risks, does high risk stunts, gets into fights with people and takes very few real precautions. She doesn’t actively try to die or fail in most serious situations; but she would welcome death if it came as a consequence of her actions. She isn’t actively suicidal – she doesn’t intend to throw herself into oncoming traffic or have a plan to do it to herself or even likely think of doing it to herself. But she would be perfectly fine with being ‘unlucky’ and strayed into being more actively suicidal by not freeing herself from the chokehold but was still mostly being passively so as the chance of ‘dying’ from that is pretty low.
As I said, it’s possible.
But you’re reading a lot into it and assuming that Ruth is right here. I do get the distinction between active and passive, but I think the evidence is thin that she’s even passively suicidal.
People that seek dangerous situations do it because 1)they want to risk their lives to help others, 2)they are thrill seekers that don’t care about the consequences of their fun, and 3)they think they deserve to die.
I should have said “or”, but the implications with Amber can go with “and” or “or” and would still make her look liek she needs help. She really needs help.
As someone who has completely been there, there is an additional option. I was in a space where life seemed too scary so dying didn’t seem so bad. I didn’t think that I deserved punishment, but I thought dying wasn’t especially abhorrent.
As an amendment to 2, you can definitely be a thrill seeker that care about yoru consequences. Regulated thrill seeking can be a thing as long as you understand the risks and consequences involved.
Hmm, I thought she was going to say it was their shared desire to beat on their overbearing father/grandfather deal, but yeah I guess that other thing is true too. 😉
Worse? Or maybe just…terrifying and relieving at the same time? Not that I’d know anything about being called out on self-destructive tendencies and passive suicidality. [whistles distractingly and pointedly looks away]
When the only reason you live is because you fear trying to end life or something like that you do find yourself hoping something beyond your control will do the job for you.
Really hope that last panel is Amber realizing just how fucked up it is to want to make someone else responsible for your suicide because that is uhh Real Bad.
I don’t think she wants someone else to be ‘responsible’ per se so much as she just wants her death to not be caused by herself personally. For it to be out of her control. For it to be something that ‘just happened’. And she’s not really thinking much further than that, just that it won’t hurt her family and friends if it isn’t directly caused by herself.
Yeah, my phrasing was slightly off, but still. If she was going to let Sal kill her, that’s a feeling she needs to think about and actually grapple with. I’ve said before self-loathing can easily make one very self-absorbed (speaking from experience), and this should be a big red blaring alarm for Amber that her belief she’s worthless can hurt people other than herself.
I don’t think it is; I think she’s just feeling vulnerable because Ruth is seeing her accurately, and defensive (and even more self-absorbed) because of it.
I would like her to one day have clarity about that, though. That Sal does not deserve to be a murderer.
Well, to have clarity about it in your sense, the idea that Amber actually wanted Sal to kill her has to be true.
Perhaps Amber’s clarity came then and it was that Sal wasn’t a murderer? And that she was willing to trust that.
Seems to make as much sense as anything else.
Relatable. When you know an outright suicide would devastate people you care about but they could cope with death that was an incidental outcome to something else.
Amber’s sheer resistance to anyone trying to address her self-hatred is the part of all this that makes me the most worried.
I mean, it’s all bad, but that’s the most relatable part for me. I’m just struck by how her eyebrows keep managing to intensify as Ruth gets closer to her point : (
Ruth, you are doing things right, and I have faith that you will be alright eventually. Things are gonna suck for awhile, and you may backslide a bit, but you will come out in the black.
Amber, the headspace you’re in is not healthy and you are in dire need of help, and possibly medication, but mostly a lot of therapy. including the type that primarily focuses on CPTSD.
A world of difference between “suicidal behavior” and “self-destructive behavior”, for all that they may have similar motivations. The latter is frightfully more common.
We do not consider people who attempt to commit suicide to be entirely “sane”, and yet, otherwise sane people commit self-destructive behaviors frequently.
You could almost picture it as a sliding scale of one’s ability to function in society. Being a notch better than the point they don’t let you out in public unsupervised is a far cry from “everything’s fine.”
“I got you figured out, Rukia”
“SHIT”
Well, Rukia is *literally* death.
Ruth is really savvy to this genre
“This is so me! Make me your sidekick!”
Analog to “Your approval fills me with shame.”
“I empathize with your feelings. THAT SHOULD WORRY YOU.”
I think Amber is going to recruit Ruth and the two of them are going to start beating people to death.
But they’ll be racists and misogynists so I don’t care.
🙂
“No you can’t put a Maple Leafs logo on your superhero costume! People will call you Lost Cause Girl!”
Ruth can’t use the name Lost Girl, that’s already been taken.
If she changes from a blue maple leaf to a green one, people might think she’s Vindicator from Alpha Flight! (and maybe think Amazi-Girl is a gender-bent Puck?)
Not the f*cking vindicators Morty
Picturing Maple-rangs.
Canada-ay-rangs
Aboot-arangs
“Why are they calling us the Maple Leaf Rag?”
I thought you meant Ruth and Amber are racists and misogynists and I was very confused.
I think Ruth would recognize that as the unrealistic shenanigans it is.
I am confused at the thought that Ruth is any more sensible than anyone else in this strip. She manifestly is not.
Dumbing of Age: come for the light-switch-flipping, stay for the drama.
Flip the light switch back on, I can’t see the drama!
But the best drama happens in the dark!
Man…they whisper promises in the dark.
Just be careful making wishes in it.
Amber desperately searched for a way to conquer her fear.
(And how many other people will get the reference?)
Ah, the classical music of my youth…
A little Pat Benatar is a good thing.
Welp. Ruth hit the nail right on the head. Now we just have to see how Amber reacts to someone figuring her out so damned much.
Can Ruth help Amazi-Girl destroy the evil Amber and thus finally be the person she deserves to be? We can only hope.
Maybe it’s better if they mix together, like Piccolo and Kami.
“Hi Kamiccolo!”
I’m not sure that fits completely since Piccolo (senior) and Kami were originally the same person. And I think Piccolo (junior) was a sort of reincarnation of just that half of the original person they were. So that might have been more a case of putting the pieces of a person back together.
Maybe we should go with Piccolo and Nail as an example.
I’m not so sure about that. Piccolo Daimao was completely evil while Piccolo Junior was capable of good and changed with time so Junior is really more of a son than reincarnation
Reincarnating does not mean that you remain completely unchanged, however. It may be the same soul, but it belongs to a new person with their own unique experiences. It’s a quite different view from Christianity where the soul gets to have one single go at living and then it’s waiting for judgement day (or getting judged immediately and going to heaven or hell or limbo, various churches and pop culture strains disagree on some of the particulars). The general gist in Buddhism is to strive for enlightenment until you can stop reincarnating. Kami was all the enlightened bits of the soul, and Piccolo Senior was all the unenlightened bits of the same soul. After reincarnating once that part was ever so slightly more enlightened, which is why Piccolo Junior was able to change in ways Piccolo Senior couldn’t have.
I’m thinking YaYa and NaNa from the manga, “Othello.” (Named after the game, not the Shakespearean play!)
https://mangarock.com/manga/mrs-serie-187960
You… you know that AG is pretty trash, right?
There is enough room in the dumpster for everyone
And that’s BEFORE it’s on fire.
Some people seem to agree with Amber’s self-assessment: She’s a monster and Amazi-Girl is the pure one.
Those people always seem to forget it’s AG who was the one stalking Sal with the intention of picking a fight.
Yes and it was Amazi-Girl who realized she was being insensible. Holding Sal accountable for actions as a minor was a mistake.
However, it was Amber’s best friend at knife point.
The problem wasn’t holding Sal accountable, the problem was being a stalker who basically admitted she was looking for a fight.
I’m cheering Ruth on for this. All my RA ever did was pass out drunk in the communal bathroom.
Despite her questionable behavior in the past, I’m also really cheering for her now. She’s trying to better herself and now she’s trying to help someone else with similar struggles, and I really respect that.
All my brother’s RA does is stick dinosaur cutouts on his door. I think my brother’s met him a couple times in 2 years?
(Tbf, dinosaurs are cool, but still.)
I mean, Ruth did that too
Naw, she stuck to her own room.
(She was fired after that, and I don’t think I ever even met the replacement– including when I had to take academic leave that then required me to move out of the dorms in the middle of the semester due to my own suicidality.)
Lucky you. My RA was my roommate. Until he got tired of my shit and moved to another room. I got a lot single rooms that way. It worked in the Air Force, too.
You… sound oddly proud of that?
This is why it’s actually important not to allow jerks their little victories, we need to socially discourage the behaviors.
How do socially discourage someone who lives outside of society and by their own rules?
The usual way is by enforcing consequences. Like exile.
“Okay, you want to live outside of society? You get to live outside of society.“
(i.e., you don’t get to take advantage of it without contributing in some/any way.)
You guys are making a lot of assumptions about a person from one comment and thats not cool.
Nah. I was an unsocialized mountaineer from an abusive family and didn’t have much concept there were people around me. I was alone inside my own little shell and didn’t know what I was doing to others.
*plays The Rolling Stones “Flip the Switch” on the hacked Muzak*
Baby I’m ready to go!
That is definitely an “oh shit, I’m stuck” kind of silence.
Amber’s just gotta repeat what Ruth said in that mocking Spongebob way that Billie did earlier, and she’ll have won the conversation.
a decent heart to heart conversation.
Are we talking Death from Neil Gaiman’s Sandman series? Cause she was cute. I’d take that as a “punishment” sure. Long as I still get to live, of course.
Well. That’s a mood and a half.
I do hope having it put into words will help both of them, but I don’t know that for sure yet. I hope that they can be friends, but it’s difficult to tell where this conversation may end up leading.
To live would be an awfully big adventure, Amber. Hook told me so.
People think English is a useless degree. What they don’t realise is that English majors are trained to take narratives apart and figure out how they work. To analyse what’s going on behind the words and the actions. Spy agencies love English PhDs as analysts.
We’re also good at knowing how to use symbolism at the proper moment. For instance, when a character flicks on the lights to indicate that they’re going to shine light onto a situation, even if the other person would prefer to keep things in the dark.
In other words, Ruth is currently presenting us with a masterclass in what English degrees can be good for, and we her fellows salute her for it.
I bet you’ve never been more proud as to have Ruth as your Gravatar huh?
The face Ruth is making in my gravatar is the face all English majors make in the split second between someone suggesting that English is a useless degree and that person’s gratuitously violent demise.
or, at least, removal of their femurs.
That’s cute. Not a STEM subject so should be cut from formal education. Oh yh and how are you going to take my femur after I sever both brachial plexi thus unplugging your arms from your nervous system.
I should’ve been an English major. Knew it, too. But I also knew I didn’t have the concentration to read all the tedious old literature English majors have to read. So I majored in math.
They say that all math majors eventually go insane.
A different hypothesis is, math majors get into math because they were insane to begin with.
On the other hand, if, when considering the equation for your future, you valued math higher than English, perhaps you actually needed the extra math study.
Unfortunately, now you’ve studied it too much, and it has addled your mind to the point that you’re running around in clown-face trying to get Batman-senpai to notice you. Metaphorically speaking. Well, one hopes.
I was only teasing, okay. Please don’t use any weird gases on me..
Causality is weak in math. The equations can be read in either direction.
To be fair that’s a problem in physics too* (sure, in practical terms one direction is much easier than the other(s?), but theoretically there’s no reason that physical laws can’t work in both directions)(except for thermodynamics)
*or at least that’s what I remember from a course on time I took 10 years ago…
I know enough science to know that “except for thermodynamics” is one hell of a “but”.
(Like that song from The Wiz: “You can’t win, child; you can’t break even; you can’t get out of the game.”)
On the individual particle physics level, even thermodynamics isn’t a bar, IIRC.
When particles interact, their properties are conserved, whichever direction you run the interaction in.
Two particles collide and fuse, emitting a photon. A photon impacts on a particle, splitting it in two. There’s no difference.
On the macro level entropy wins, but that not being true on the micro level is intriguing.
Or at least it was from what I recall studying physics 20+ years ago.
“Equation for my future.” As if I were capable of imagining the future. I have no sense of time passing. I took math because I was curious. There was something going on there and I wanted to know what it was. Yeah, I know, introductory calculus would’ve satisfied that. But I had to major in something.
That’s true. If you were capable of imagining the future, you’d likely have gone into one of art, creative writing, music composition, or extra sensory chronomanipulation with an emphasis in postmodern studies.
I guess getting into a field of study with an actual shot at post-graduation employment has its own merits, though.
Spy agencies tend to have bonuses for hard math.
I mean, that’s the crux of a lot of Amber’s issues, isn’t it?
Not quite a ‘death wish’ but the next level down. Poor Amber.
And yeah, even in Amber’s head where death comes as a punishment, it would not go well if it happened. Even if Sal didn’t go to jail, she’d have been horrified if she actually killed Amber imo.
Also, I think Ruth would make a stunning psych major if English doesn’t work out, and the fit gramps would throw can be damned.
Or social work.
ANYBODY would be better at that than Mike.
Are you kidding? Mike is an expert at reading people and responding accordingly. Pointed in the right direction he’d be fantastic. (Yes, he needs to be less of a sociopath.)
That last sentence is the problem. 😛
I’m still trying to figure out WHY Mike would go into social work. The world is a target-rich environment for him anyways, and going into social work just puts him in contact with potential victims who are too easy to be fun to mess with (I know this, because it’s a similar philosophy to the one I use when it comes to breaking game systems – if you give me an obvious “I win” button, there’s no point to it; it’s the ones that you need to combo at least 3 things that are entertaining).
Mike is an equal opportunity destroyer. It would put him in contact with very vulnerable people, but also the abusers and assholes and terrible people that would require more work to destroy as well. And we know Mike doesn’t actually like letting such people get off scot-free.
And otherwise, generally it is just a very weird trend for people to go into courses completely ill-suited for them e.g. taking psychology when they have no patience for people; learning teaching when they don’t like children. And it is very strange and disconcerting.
Do we? He hasn’t shown any signs of targeting the abusers and assholes since the childhood sequence with Blaine.
He’s seemed quite content to stick with the easy targets – mostly his two “friends” who lack the self-esteem to cut ties with him and Walky, who’s stuck as his roommate.
I just realized Mike is DoA’s Nick Wilde (to a degree).
Humm…would that make Joyce Judy?
I guess here’s the “Mike’s abusive behaviour is fine because he could use it for good (whatever that means)” brigade again… 🙁
Nah, they already said Mike would need to be far less of a shithead. His shitheadedness is the problem, though, so that is why I was him 24601 miles away from the social work program.
Amber, you’ve clearly needed a more stable, available confidante.
Haha relatable
Of course they’re flipping the light switches.
The heavy switches are too flippin’ heavy!
Nah, they’ve both got healla good upper body strength. They can flip heavy switches too.
As I said in a past comment – probably about the time Ruth was the one lying on the bed in the dark:
Oh, I don’t want to kill myself.
Or die, really.
But [i]being[/i] dead, yeah, that sounds nice.
Dark. Quiet. Restful.
(I’m feeling much better now, honest.)
… curse you, bbcode.
Thank goodness for standards!
But killing yourself is just so much effort.
Sleep till I starve to death?
Well, that might work…
The story of Bartleby the Scrivener comes to mind.
(also, mood. not so much right now, but other times…)
Dorothy Parker reads Resumé
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
Come, heavy sleep, the image of true Death….Come thou, and charm these rebels in my breast/Whose waking fancies do my mind affright
Honestly, not the best song if you have insomnia or are depressed. Forget I mentioned it.
Oh, there’s nothing wrong with Dowland…
In darkness let me dwell; the ground shall sorrow be,
The roof despair, to bar all cheerful light from me;
The walls of marble black, that moist’ned still shall weep;
My music, hellish jarring sounds, to banish friendly sleep.
Thus, wedded to my woes, and bedded in my tomb,
O let me living die, till death doth come, till death doth come.
Well, OK, maybe there was something wrong with Dowland.
He was just an artist of his times. The late English Renaissance was goth as hell.
That’s always been the thing that saved me. By the time I had the ability to move enough to do anything about it, I didn’t feel bad enough to do it any more. If you could stop living just by deciding to, I’d have been screwed.
The sucky thing is that some people when they start antidepressants tend to get their energy back before their mood improves. Which is why you have to watch people who have just started them carefully because they now have the energy to act and their mood is still at a dangerusly low point.
If you could stop living just by deciding to, I’d have been screwed.
A while back, IIRC, someone noted that if that was so, no one / maybe 1 in 10 would make it through adolescence.
Boy I don’t like to relate to that too much.
So I’m assuming a lot of people here are as a lost for words as I was last night on the 5$ Patreon page….This Over the top method of penance it’s just damn foolish, I don’t know anything else to say about this
Most people are pretty foolish. Some of us are even more foolish than that.
“It’d be nice if I wasn’t alive anymore,” is still suicidal ideation, Amber.
You don’t actually have to be intent on doing it yourself.
People don’t tend to know this unfortunately. They tend to think it must mean ‘I want to be dead’ when it can mean just not caring if the result is death or not wanting to continue to be alive. It can be taking small risks that may on an off-chance kill you, but likely won’t. It can be thinking it would be nice to just be in a void instead of alive.
It’s possible, but I don’t think we’ve actually seen that in Amber. I don’t recall a “It’d be nice if I wasn’t alive anymore” or anything similar.
She takes a lot of risks as Amazi-Girl, but that in and of itself isn’t sufficient, I think.
The “End it” in the Sal fight is the biggest clue, but there are other explanations for that than that she was actually trying to use Sal to kill her. If it was even that active, she could have let herself fail at any point and gotten herself killed.
Suicidal ideation doesn’t have to be active, it can be passive – Amber’s is passive, which is literally what Ruth is calling her out on.
She takes a lot of risks, does high risk stunts, gets into fights with people and takes very few real precautions. She doesn’t actively try to die or fail in most serious situations; but she would welcome death if it came as a consequence of her actions. She isn’t actively suicidal – she doesn’t intend to throw herself into oncoming traffic or have a plan to do it to herself or even likely think of doing it to herself. But she would be perfectly fine with being ‘unlucky’ and strayed into being more actively suicidal by not freeing herself from the chokehold but was still mostly being passively so as the chance of ‘dying’ from that is pretty low.
As I said, it’s possible.
But you’re reading a lot into it and assuming that Ruth is right here. I do get the distinction between active and passive, but I think the evidence is thin that she’s even passively suicidal.
“She says she saved your life.” “Well that’s the second worst thing she’s ever done to me, but the day is still young.”
Let’s put it simply: poor Ethan.
🙁
Oh fuck.
That’s…that’s one of those lines that stick with a person.
People that seek dangerous situations do it because 1)they want to risk their lives to help others, 2)they are thrill seekers that don’t care about the consequences of their fun, and 3)they think they deserve to die.
I should have said “or”, but the implications with Amber can go with “and” or “or” and would still make her look liek she needs help. She really needs help.
As someone who has completely been there, there is an additional option. I was in a space where life seemed too scary so dying didn’t seem so bad. I didn’t think that I deserved punishment, but I thought dying wasn’t especially abhorrent.
As an amendment to 2, you can definitely be a thrill seeker that care about yoru consequences. Regulated thrill seeking can be a thing as long as you understand the risks and consequences involved.
At the time of her rescue of Becky, I felt that it was likely that Amber was trying to turn it into her ‘redemption by death’ moment.
Hmm, I thought she was going to say it was their shared desire to beat on their overbearing father/grandfather deal, but yeah I guess that other thing is true too. 😉
FUDGE YOU BLAINE!!!!!
There’s still, like, a 50-50 chance that Dina is in the room, right?
Hopefully, Becky gets her out of the room more often.
Last time we saw Dina was right after Joyce read Amber’s smutty fanfic. So she might still be in the room as this is going on.
In the last panel today, Amber learns that hearing someone say it so baldly is a lot worse than just having it in your head.
Worse? Or maybe just…terrifying and relieving at the same time? Not that I’d know anything about being called out on self-destructive tendencies and passive suicidality. [whistles distractingly and pointedly looks away]
Of course not.
(I’d join you, but I’ve never been able to whistle.)
Amber seeks Death by Crook?
More likely Death by Pyrrhic Victory.
When the only reason you live is because you fear trying to end life or something like that you do find yourself hoping something beyond your control will do the job for you.
Eyy, I knew it. Amber wants to die.
Ruth is scoring some big respect points with me lately…
Oh no, Ruth is gonna try to kill Amber! This is worse than the choke hold incident!
Nah, that’s a stern look of concern.
Constern.
Really hope that last panel is Amber realizing just how fucked up it is to want to make someone else responsible for your suicide because that is uhh Real Bad.
I don’t think she wants someone else to be ‘responsible’ per se so much as she just wants her death to not be caused by herself personally. For it to be out of her control. For it to be something that ‘just happened’. And she’s not really thinking much further than that, just that it won’t hurt her family and friends if it isn’t directly caused by herself.
Yeah, my phrasing was slightly off, but still. If she was going to let Sal kill her, that’s a feeling she needs to think about and actually grapple with. I’ve said before self-loathing can easily make one very self-absorbed (speaking from experience), and this should be a big red blaring alarm for Amber that her belief she’s worthless can hurt people other than herself.
If Amber had killed Middle name Ryan it in some ways would have been one last act of violence he committed against women.
I don’t think it is; I think she’s just feeling vulnerable because Ruth is seeing her accurately, and defensive (and even more self-absorbed) because of it.
I would like her to one day have clarity about that, though. That Sal does not deserve to be a murderer.
Well, to have clarity about it in your sense, the idea that Amber actually wanted Sal to kill her has to be true.
Perhaps Amber’s clarity came then and it was that Sal wasn’t a murderer? And that she was willing to trust that.
Seems to make as much sense as anything else.
Relatable. When you know an outright suicide would devastate people you care about but they could cope with death that was an incidental outcome to something else.
Wow. Of all the comics to hit super close to home, it had to be this one to make me make my first comment and say: “ouch”
Comic is just like this sometimes. …Well, comic is like this rather a lot, actually!
*Appropriate gesture of support* for you and everyone else who can or have been able to relate to this. It’s rough stuff.
Ruth and Amber should go tape their fists up and go on a rampage!
RAMPAGGGGGE!
Amazi-Girl really is Batman.
Amber’s sheer resistance to anyone trying to address her self-hatred is the part of all this that makes me the most worried.
I mean, it’s all bad, but that’s the most relatable part for me. I’m just struck by how her eyebrows keep managing to intensify as Ruth gets closer to her point : (
Also I’m glad Ruth had the energy to flip a lightswitch, and so much more!
Wow, I’m feeling very seen here, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.
I’m confused why Ruth didn’t burst into flames with the light switch being flipped.
Like one of the krill.
Amber doesn’t believe in suicide. Unless it’s Suicide By Justice.
Ruth, you are doing things right, and I have faith that you will be alright eventually. Things are gonna suck for awhile, and you may backslide a bit, but you will come out in the black.
Amber, the headspace you’re in is not healthy and you are in dire need of help, and possibly medication, but mostly a lot of therapy. including the type that primarily focuses on CPTSD.
A world of difference between “suicidal behavior” and “self-destructive behavior”, for all that they may have similar motivations. The latter is frightfully more common.
We do not consider people who attempt to commit suicide to be entirely “sane”, and yet, otherwise sane people commit self-destructive behaviors frequently.
You could almost picture it as a sliding scale of one’s ability to function in society. Being a notch better than the point they don’t let you out in public unsupervised is a far cry from “everything’s fine.”