122

Slightest
Posted on April 7, 2019 by David M Willis

72 HOURS LEFT!

The Dumbing of Age Book 8 Kickstarter now includes FREE DOROTHY MAGNETS FOR NEARLY EVERYONE!  If you’re getting any combination of paper books mailed to you, you get a free Dorothy magnet.  If you’re getting the DIGITAL PLUS MAGNET tier, you get a free Dorothy magnet. It’s just the DIGITAL (PDF only) tiers that are sadly left out because, like, there is no envelope, I am sorry.  I can’t shove the magnet through the computer. You don't gotta add her to your PICK THREE or PICK FIVE MAGNETS tiers.  She's thrown in as a bonus.  You now get four and six magnets for those tiers, respectively.  And if you got COMPLETE MAGNET POWER, she's thrown on the big ol' pile.

122 thoughts on “Slightest”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    You know, there’s a million fine looking people in the world, dude. But they don’t all remember your desktop rotation. Most of ’em just FIRRIB on you.

    1. Tim

      RIRFIB

      1. Doctor_Who

        BLTCTPJJTFWP

        Both like to change their paint jobs just to fuck with people.

      2. Furie

        You win an energon star.

        1. HMRC4EVR

          Yay….Energon….woo…

          Bleh.

    2. Clif

      FIRRIB = Fake It Really Really Irritatingly Badly.

    3. Pablo360

      Frenzy Is Rumble, Red Is Blue

      1. Inahc

        Freedom Is Slavery

        1. Marsh Maryrose

          Mayonnaise is Ketchup.

        2. Needfuldoer

          Oh no not this again…

        3. Ryek Hvek

          …and ketchup is a vegetable (and so is the President)

        4. Auron

          Ketchup is a fruit.

        5. Delicious Taffy

          Don’t insult produce like that.

        6. Bryan Langley

          As a fruit, I resemble that remark!

        7. Cute Carla

          I thought ketchup was a mayonnaise

        8. Ryek Hvek

          Ketchup is made from tomatoes, technically a fruit, but popularly accepted as a vegetable. A gender-confused food? Mayonnaise, on the other hand is unapologetically out there, cis and fabulous.

    4. Touchfuzzy

      I mean, Grimlock is great. Can’t forget Grimlock. Good Saturday choice.

    5. Deanatay

      ME GRIMLOCK ON SATURDAY?
      ME THOUGHT TODAY SUNDAY!
      ME GRIMLOCK CONFUSED

  2. ValdVin

    Joyce has conquered condiments. The rest will be easy.

    1. Clif

      Today catsup, tomorrow the world.

  3. DailyBrad

    You’re a good egg, all three of you.

    1. shadowcell

      you could all create a good omelette

      1. Doctor_Who

        Missed it by that much.

        1. Reltzik

          Quick! Scramble to salvage it!

        2. King Daniel

          It’s too late, the opportunity’s fried.

        3. Marsh Maryrose

          Looks like someone frittata-ed away a perfectly good opportunity.

        4. Makkabee

          I’m totally poaching this joke the next time someone uses the “good egg” line.

        5. Jess

          Too many egg puns! My blood is boiling hard right now.

        6. Dean

          I guess the yolk’s on you.

        7. Lone Duck

          And suddenly the jokes were over, all too easy.

        8. Reltzik

          We can now emerge from our shell-ters.

        9. Deanatay

          Just gotta keep the sunny side up!

        10. Makkabee

          IT’S OVA, JOHNNY! IT’S OVA!!

    2. Doctor_Who

      We shall call the OT3 “Omelet”.

      1. Dana

        Give them all superhero identities, and Amber can write that.

    3. Clif

      Hey Willis, we would like a spin off comic called “The Good Egg” In your copious spare time.

  4. shadowcell

    Dumbing of Age Book 9: Give My Regards to Grimlock or Whoever

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      Not sure how many of those who grew up with Transformers also were exposed to George M. Cohan, but anyway:

      “Give my regards to Grimlock,
      Remember me to Sludge and Slag,
      Tell Snarl and Swoop that I’ll be seeing them
      And ev’rything’s in the bag.”

    2. Makkabee

      Remember me to Energon Square…

      *Ethan jumps in with outraged complaint about how Energon comes in CUBES,” ruining the incipient filk*

  5. William Leonard Reese Jr.

    Does Joyce now that Starscream is and always shall be the best Transformer?

    Also yes this was a good and wholesome conversation and I loved every second of the interaction.

    1. Mr D

      I disagree on the simple fact that his voice is grating and sounds like a dude with his balls on a vice.

      1. Nothri

        Oh come on! Jacob doesn’t even have a voice! That’s a horrible thing to say!

        1. Clif

          um.

    2. Holly Claire

      Even that time starscream possesed an android girl and forgot to pull up her pants? Was he the best then?

      1. Touchfuzzy

        God dammit Kiss Players.

        1. HMRC4EVR

          Someone told me a long time ago that Kiss Players was Rule 34 Masterforce.

          I hate I just remembered that.

  6. Doctor_Who

    Ethan is Jewish, so he puts Starscream on his desk for Christmas.

  7. BBCC

    Hey, seven transformers is more than I can average.

    1. Yumi

      Yeah, like, there’s Bumblebee and…I’m out.

      1. Tacos

        Steve From Accounting. No, really.

        https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Steve_From_Accounting

      2. Cholma

        Don’t forget MegaPrime and, uh, Optitron! Those are the 2 big ones, I think.

      3. laladoria

        Dinobot!

    2. Reltzik

      Let’s see. Seven transformers, huh?

      Ummm…. Zigzag, Pulse, Leekage, Resonant, Output, Scott-T, and Capacity Voltage.

      Do I win?

    3. Clif

      How is there not a transformer named bonkytonken?

      1. Reltzik

        Probably because Hasbro didn’t want a word close to “Tonka” bouncing around in the customer base’s collective sub-consciences.

    4. BBCC

      Okay, jokes aside, let me try

      1 Bumblebee
      2 Optimus Prime
      3 Megatron
      4 Hotrod
      5 Blackarachnia
      6 Rumble
      7 Frenzy

      1. Marsh Maryrose

        1. Bob
        2. Dot Matrix
        3. Enzo Matrix
        4. Megabyte
        5. Hexadecimal
        6. AndrAIa
        7. Phong

        Oh, wait, no, those are seven characters from ReBoot, which was TOTALLY CANNIBALIZED, production-staff-wise, to make Beast Wars.

        1. J

          Huh, that might explain why I loved both those shows. I mean, aside from my crushes on Dinobot and Bob, anyway.

        2. Marsh Maryrose

          I may be slightly exaggerating the “cannibalized” part for comic effect, but yes, the same studio produced both ReBoot and Beast Wars, and I’m under the impression that a lot of the animators, designers, and editors went straight from one project to the other.

          And even though I was nominally an adult at the time, I did have a little bit of a crush on Dot Matrix.

        3. Roborat

          You are not the only one.

    5. Charlie Spencer

      It’s six more than I know.

    6. Nenja

      Okay, I’m going to try.

      1. Optimus Prime
      2. Bumblebee
      3. Megatron
      4. Starscream
      5. Blackarachnia
      6. Dinobot
      7. … I think I ran out. I know Amber and Ethan must have mentioned names of spesific ones, was one of them called Nautica?

    7. Needfuldoer

      Optimus Prime
      Starscream
      Bumblebee
      Soundwave
      Megatron
      Gunhaver
      Reginald

      Do I win?

    8. JBento

      Oh come one, all I watched was the G1 cartoon, and *I* can name 7:

      Starscream
      Soundwave
      Ravage
      Laserbeak
      Rumble
      Optimus Prime
      Ratchet
      Mirage
      Grimlock
      Slag
      Swoop
      Bumblebee
      Shockwave
      Megatron
      Prowl

  8. Woomy

    Joyce was a good girlfriend

  9. Dana

    I have Joyce soundly beaten, but we’re in the same league.

  10. Stephen Bierce

    *plays “Peel Me A Grape” on the hacked Muzak*

  11. Yumi

    I feel like Raidah’s gonna take Joyce’s comments in the worst way possible.

    1. Schpoonman

      And given how much Jacob respects Joyce, this is bound to end pleasantly.

      1. MatthewTheLucky

        Raidah losing her relationship for stupidly assuming the worst of people and Joyce getting the guy by being gracious and respectful of boundaries would be exceedingly pleasant.

        1. abysswatcher1993

          Karma is weird. Why doesnt karma work in real life?

        2. TemperaryObsessor

          Same reason why the lesson you learn in school doesn’t somehow become relavant outside of school three times before the end of the day.

        3. thejeff

          Well, it’s not really stupidly assuming the worst of people, since she was absolutely right about Joyce’s intentions a couple of days ago and has no reason to think that’s changed.
          I suspect she’s subtle enough not to do anything that’ll upset Jacob too much though. Just spend a lot of time wondering what Joyce’s play is.

        4. Apostate

          I mean, she’s also a controlling bongo.

        5. MatthewTheLucky

          I meant assuming Jacob would cheat.

        6. BigDogLittleCat

          This. She doesn’t respect Jacob if she thinks he’ll cheat on her. Not a good start for any relationship.

    2. Wizard

      If it weren’t Joyce, I’d suspect that was the intention.

      1. thejeff

        If it were Joyce a few days ago, I’d be sure that was the intention.
        This seems genuine too.

    3. BBCC

      It’s not paranoia if they really are (or have been) out to do the thing you suspect them of.

      Good luck convincing Jacob of that though.

  12. Bagge

    The last panel is such an Ethan AND such a Joyce thing to do.

    I love how Jacob doesn’t bat an eye. He knows his roomie by now

  13. Tacos

    And then Ethan introduces a new toy into the rotation and Joyce loses it because now she’s gotta remember EIGHT Transformers names.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Getting used to an eighth day of the week will be even more tricky.

      Hopefully it’ll at least be part of the weekend.

      1. Miri

        I would push for a 9 day week with a midweek break so it goes 111011100 where 1 is a generally recognised workday and 0 is a generally recognised say off but I suspect this would end up shafting retail workers pretty royally…

        So instead I think a 5 day week with a 2 day weekend could work: better ratio of workdays to days off; no more Mondays; if Tuesdays are retained solely for leapdays then a year will always begin on the same day of the week…

        1. Marsh Maryrose

          It wasn’t until I binge-listened to Mike Duncan’s podcast on the French Revolution that I realized that the French Republican Calendar was both simple (every day had ten days, named “first day” through “tenth day”) and complex (every day of the year had its own plant or mineral or tool associated with it).

          One of the reasons it didn’t succeed is that people resented being given only one day in ten to rest. If that calendar had one day in five as a rest day, perhaps it would have caught on?

    2. Deanatay

      BUT ME GRIMLOCK ON SATURDAY

  14. Lily

    Is this…Joyce giving up?

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      I think she’s realized that the quarry is out of reach…for now. That doesn’t mean she’s given up completely. If an opportunity presents itself, she’ll be prepared.

      1. thejeff

        She realized a couple of days back, thanks mostly to Walky, that she was chasing Jacob out of lust and not the True Love of her romantic fantasies. She pretty much gave up then, though this is the first time we’ve seen them interact since.

    2. Gin

      I think Dorothy’s advice was probably perfectly delivered, and she’s the one Joyce would probably trust with anything/everything right now. So she took that to heart and chose to love, which is awesome to see.

  15. Some1

    I’m sad to say that I know very little about Transformers. If geekdom was a college, my major would be anime, my minor would be superhero comics and Transformers would be one elective class I took.

    1. Anon a Mouse

      Ooo, ooo! I’ll Join in on this. Dual Major in Anime and Video Games. Minor in Roleplaying Games. Took as many electives as I could. I’ve spent way too much time and money on Geekdom College…

      1. Deanatay

        BS Degree (means what it sounds like) in Role-Playing, Minor in Board Games, tons of electives, graduated decades ago, used my minor a LOT more than my major in the workplace.

  16. Felian

    Oh hey, does this mean Joyce is respecting Jacob’s relationship with Raidah now? Yay boundaries!

    1. laladoria

      Only because she’s ashamed of thinking about him sexually… But hey, baby steps..?

      1. Lensipensi

        I don’t think that’s it.

        1. thejeff

          I think that’s kind of it, but it’s subtler than that.
          Trying to break them up was okay because it was True Love, but the realization of how much of her interest was sexual made her rethink that.

        2. Clif

          Joyce was offered a chance at True Love, but she didn’t have the faith to save Jacob from Raidha. No wonder God isn’t talking to her.

        3. Clif

          [/inner Mike]

  17. Roger Sterling

    This reminds me of when the doctor asked the PM’s aide “Don’t you think she looks tired?”

    1. MatthewTheLucky

      It’s The Doctor. The genuine article, you might say.

      1. UniqueSnowflake2

        The *definite* article.

    2. Delicious Taffy

      He did warn her.

  18. DarkoNeko

    Grimlock, really ?

    1. BenRG

      Him Grimlock teach fleshy Ethan how to be strong and assertive!

    2. Deanatay

      ME GRIMLOCK AM KING
      OF SELF-ASSERTIVENESS

  19. Makkabee

    Our little girl is growing up.

  20. Inahc

    Hmm, is my keyboard hilariously broken here too? No? Apparently that was Patreon’s fault, then. Lol

  21. Keulen

    I’m surprised Ethan only rotates through seven Transformers on his desk display instead of a whole month’s worth.

    1. BenRG

      Being in a college dorm, storage space must be an issue; one must optimise.

      1. TemperaryObsessor

        One must optimize space which is at a prime.

  22. Romanticide

    And this is why Joyce is one of the great exes here. The transformers desk rotation is important

  23. BenRG

    There are rarely words that serve as magical wands that solve problems like this (I’m talking about more than Joyce’s crisis of faith here – I think something’s up with Jacob too, based on panel 3). Sometimes, you just have to slowly work through problems day by day.

    Meanwhile, Ethan is taking delight in being the ‘ridiculous’ to Joyce and Jacob’s ‘sublime’.

  24. abysswatcher1993

    Joyce is growing up! She is friends with diverse people, is open to new ideas, is accepting her own sexual urges with a healthy outlet (slash fics), and fights for what she believes is right even if she has to defy authorities. Now if she could read a biology book…

  25. JessWitt

    Panels 1 to 3 are a good representation of how I feel with people – mostly the parents – talking me through my problems.

    But better letting it out than keeping it in, I guess.

  26. Ethics Gradient

    Transfomers who and the what?

  27. Vulcanodon

    Joyce finds a wormhole that catapults her thirty light years closer to wholeness…

    1. MatthewTheLucky

      I actually had that game, but not once did it nearly kill one of my siblings.

  28. PB

    THERE’S our Joyce. <3

  29. Catman

    My rotation:
    Monday: Moonracer
    Tuesday: Trickdiamond
    Wednesday: Windblade
    Thursday: (I don’t have another T ladybot, so I usually put up Primus or just leave Windblade up.)
    Friday: Flowspade
    Saturday: Seafoam (a custom little mermaid themed Seaspray)
    Sunday: Starscream. The best ladybot.

    1. Catman

      Granted, Windblade has stayed up for a lonb while. Every one else is in boxes

  30. purblebirb

    hashtag deskbots

  31. Dave Stell

    Dave, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate how you’ve told the story. Using the level-headed Jacob is just awesome. Faith is full of doubts and questions. It’s a life-long journey to understanding. I admit I was pretty nervous about where you were going with this. But Jacob is a well-written character. Easily my fav secondary now. Thank you!

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