176

Tough love
Posted on January 6, 2020 by David M Willis

176 thoughts on “Tough love”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    whoops wrong comment

  2. Poofdepoof

    Is Mike learning something??

    1. Nevermaker

      Can’t be: I’ve seen no sus scrofa domesticus practicing aeronautics.

      (But honestly, I’m glad he seems to be experiencing development: please let him become at least somewhat emotionally healthy!)

      1. TrueVCU

        If you think this has an emotionally happy ending you haven’t been paying attention

        1. David

          Uh, being an asshole is emotionally healthy while not making for an “emotionally happy ending”. I am not sure Mike is learning something, and if so, whether it is an improvement.

        2. thejeff

          I think he is. I think he’s seeing Blaine in himself – in their treatment of Amber, and not at all liking what he’s seeing.

        3. Looks like walky

          all i hope is he learns the rules of being asshole is like being evil in an rpg you can just be evil for the party.

    2. CC

      Wow, two characters in two different comics having personal epiphanies based on other characters on the same day

      1. Opus the Poet

        What was the other one? I only read a few hundred of the thousands of web comics available, so maybe a link?

        1. Chris Phoenix

          EGS

        2. CC

          I reference that one a lot I guess huh

        3. He Who Abides

          I just read that.

        4. JepMZ

          <__>
          I don’t know what that means

        5. Dragotx

          El goonish shive: https://www.egscomics.com/

        6. jmsr7

          “Don’t call yourself a nut! …and not just because we have a friend who’s part squirrel nearby.”

    3. Wraithy2773

      My prediction?

      Mike’s about to grab Blaine and shove him off the edge. Maybe following Blaine himself, but either way crippling or killing him.

      1. DSL

        On the one hand, Willis says nobody dies in DoA. On the other hand, to quote Jafar in DisneyLaddin, “You’ll be surprised what you can live through.”

    4. Cody B

      At last the full plan comes to fruition. It’s just… it’s just so beautiful. I’m sorry. There’s something in my eye.

  3. Mada

    I say, will their relationship re-escalate to pounding one another in epic hatefucks after this?

    1. AeromechanicalAce

      I doubt it. Willis seems to have a ‘no recurring ships’ policy with dumbing of age.

      1. Bix902

        Break my heart why don’t you

      2. drs

        Mike and Amazi-Girl would be a new relationship, right? 😛

      3. 3oranges

        They don’t always work out the same way, but that’s not true. Leslie crushing on Robin? Jason with Sal? Billie with Ruth? I think it’s more a question of what pairs he thinks are still interesting to explore.

      4. Sam

        It’s more a ‘no recurring ships that he couldn’t do something new with’. Leslie x Robin & Jason x Sal for instance, he did something different with and framed more accurately to reality.

        1. King Daniel

          Or for Billie x Ruth, they barely got explored while the latter was still alive – and most of their Walkyverse relationship was developed in flashbacks or prequel strips – so (almost) anything that would be done with them would be treading new ground.

        2. King Daniel

          (While they haven’t had too much time in the limelight either here or in the Walkyverse, I assume Mandy and Grace’s relationship has carried over for similar reasoning.)

        3. He Who Abides

          Mandy, Grace, and Sierra.

  4. William Leonard Reese Jr.

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand I think we are seeing the heel turn of Mike in action.

    Mike may actually be realizing what a dick he is, like emotionally rather then his kind of dead rationalization, and how he has been emulating Blaine without realizing it.

    Not that Mike will magically become a good person but this realization will be AMAZING to watch unfold.

    1. Matticus

      I think you mean “Heel Realization.” A Heel Turn is when a good or neutral character becomes a bad guy (heel), which is not what seems to be happening here. A Heel Realization is when someone realizes that they’ve been a heel the whole time, usually unknowingly.

      This is basically Mike’s “Are we the baddies?” moment.

      1. William Leonard Reese Jr.

        . . .That is totally what I meant. Figured that Heel turn was a 180 in either direction.

        1. Rob Cottingham

          Can this officially be known as a heelization?

        2. David M Willis

          fffft

        3. Matticus

          Almost! The opposite of a Heel Turn (good guy turning bad) is a Face Turn (bad guy turning good). It’s all wrapped up in professional wrestling terminology, which can get confusing sometimes.

          Especially when you get to things like a Heel/Face Revolving Door :p

        4. Mydnyt

          This might be a “Face Turn” The whole Heel/Face thing as terms for Badguy/good guy I think originated from pro wrestling but it might be older then that

        5. UniqueSnowflake2

          “Face” is short for “Babyface”, which means “good guy” for some reason.

        6. BBCC

          Yep. Babyface = good guy, heel = bad guy. Ergo, heel turn = turning evil, and face turn = turning good.

        7. jmsr7

          FFS Heelfacetturn (TV Tropes walkabout warning)

      2. Commodore Counterintuitive

        “Which, really, is a fairly obvious thing, but plenty of obvious things don’t sting until you stop and dwell on them, much like hovering one’s index finger in close proximity to a cantankerous crab.” — Dan “The Goon” Shive

    2. Charlie Spencer

      In Whoville they say that Mike’s small heart grew three sizes that day!

    3. SmartAlec105

      Mike has always been trying to do good by pushing people into situations they don’t want to enter. Then he hides under the facade of “damn, I was trying to screw with you but it didn’t work”. It usually works out well for them but now Mike is realizing he probably shouldn’t use those methods.

  5. Rezby

    Is…. is mike in love with both amber and Ethan?

    1. William Leonard Reese Jr.

      I mean . . .it’s honestly not impossible. And we KNOW that both find him attractive as well.

      Hm. . . Dumbing of Age’s first Poly-amorous ship incoming?

      1. Nono

        We already have Mandy/Grace/Sierra.

      2. Meagan

        Yesssss I ship it!! ????? Give me some poly rep here. Except Danny and Ethan can still date on the side.

        OMG Mike is me. I am Mike. When I was a teenager I was infatuated with two close friends and dreamt of a triad ever after. Did not happen and phew I would not want to be with either of them now! But still, I relate to being in love (or “in love”) with your two good friends.

    2. Bunny

      I think he has always loved them both. Not necessarily In Love. But that changes without notice.

    3. tim gueguen

      I’m not sure Mike actually understands love.

      1. Lanie

        More likely, Mike has no concept on how to express positive feelings (like love) toward others in a positive or healthy manner. Shoot, I don’t even think Mike knows how to express positive feelings toward himself in a healthy manner…

        1. vitalProximity

          ^THIS.^

          … And with what we have seen of his parents, I’m almost wondering if (for Homestuck fans) there’s a Rose Lalonde analogy here, where her mother’s expressions of care were so over the top genuine and touchy feely that her more naturally cynical self went “… This is TOO mushy to be genuine, she is absolutely fucking with me. My mother is *mocking* me with these ridiculous gestures of affection,” and the more her mom tried to show genuine affection, the more Rose thought she was fucking with her and therefore withdrew into herself.

          Similarly, though Mike’s parents SEEM very affectionate, if that doesn’t mesh with his relational style, it may be a useless model for him that is just confusing and he doesn’t understand. There’s more than one healthy dynamic of demonstrating care, and if he’s only seen one that makes no sense to him and he can’t relate to… He really might not know how else to do it.

    4. Romanticide

      Maybe… that he is loved by them too… not just kept around for the sake of old friendship.

  6. Kravis

    *BAM!*

    *EPIPHANY TIME!*

    1. Bunny

      That’s the magic word!!

  7. Undrave

    Is Mike going to snap too??

    1. Rikunda

      From the look of it… I would say the opposite. He was snapped, but now the pieces are righting themselves.

      1. vitalProximity

        … Excuse me, I think I also have something in my eye…

  8. butts

    it’s true, blaine doesn’t know anything about whump

    (i make bad jokes to numb the pain ;-;)

    1. thejeff

      But he’s learning.

  9. Stephen Bierce

    *looks around for his Donna Summer Greatest Hits album*

    1. Charlie Spencer

      Start with the Streisand duet, ‘Enough is Enough’.

      1. Stephen Bierce

        The real title is “No More Tears” but yeah, that’s kinda the idea.

  10. bjams

    Is the Alt-text a reference to the line “When you push comes to shove you always choose to love?”

    1. Yumi

      “Cuz when push comes to shove
      I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love”

      (from Hamilton)

      1. Aaron

        “Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
        Da da dat dat da ya da!
        Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
        Da da dat—
        Everybody!” (Exerpted from musixmatch)

      2. Kaz

        Either that or Blaine’s got a fully armed battalion.

        1. King Daniel

          Does Ross count?

      3. vitalProximity

        OH MY GOD THAT’S WHERE THE CHAPTER TITLE COMES FROM

        …I gotta start googling these whenever a new chapter starts, damn

    2. Mollyscribbles

      But when push comes to shove you gotta do what you love
      Even if it’s not a good idea

      1. Radiance

        They poo-poo’d my electric frankfurter!

        1. He Who Abides

          They said I prob’ly shouldn’t fly, with just one eye!

        2. Zepher Dossier

          I am Bender please insert Girder

        3. He Who Abides

          ?

        4. Agemegos

          Pooh pooh!.

      2. EvilMidnightLurker

        Jamaica!

    3. Rectilinear Propagation

      I assumed it was just pointing out that the WHUMP was someone getting shoved over the railing.

    4. Needfuldoer

      ♫ When push comes to shove,
      You gotta do what you love,
      Even if it’s not a good idea! ♫

      – Hermes Conrad, Futurama Season 2, Episode 14

  11. Doctor_Who

    This concept of “whump” confuses and infuriates us!

    1. Doctor_Who

      Oops, that was supposed to be a reply. Makes a good non sequitur, though.

      1. BigDogLittleCat

        Especially coming from a blue box that disdains the rules of time and space.

  12. Chaucer59

    Come on, Mike, get in there.

  13. Nono

    Oh hey, maybe this will put to rest the ‘Mike knew all along’ speculations.

    1. Regalli

      Last strip changed my mind on it. It was hard to tell with that one line because we know Mike’s generally pretty smart and Ethan knows, so the ‘I wish it were her instead’ line seemed suggestive of the dissociation aspect, but this is definitely shock.

      However, his reaction here is also indicating to me that yeah, Mike definitely DID intend the car ride of doom to be helping, which is good to have that cleared up. He’s still a needless dick who has knowingly aggravated trauma in the name of ‘tough love’ or something, which isn’t great, but this does establish ground to actually grow from. (Also he needs to apologize to Walky and leave him alone, but baby steps.)

      1. Regalli

        (And to be clear: a lot of his needless dickery I’m willing to take as a genuine character flaw, because he is in fact a teenager who doesn’t know shit. Still not going to like him when he does it, but that’s a character choice I can see growing out of and not ‘I hate what you represent in real life.’)

        1. Regalli

          (Aaand I am just now getting that part of this strip is Mike ACTIVELY REALIZING the extent to which he is horrible for the reasons Injust described disliking him for. I need to sleep, but also: YAY!)

    2. Clif

      To the contrary, this particular sequence of flashbacks doesn’t have the same impact unless Mike knew. Otherwise he has no basis for that level of self so blame.

      1. Nono

        It’s not that hard a leap of logic: Mike knew that he made Blaine take Amber on the car ride. Amber disappeared for a while from school after that.

        In fact, considering Mike already knew that Amber had levels of rage towards her dad, why would he be in shock NOW if he already knew that that was Amazi-Girl?

      2. thejeff

        He’s blaming himself for the 5 years of poking Amber so she’d be “tough” enough to deal with Blaine.
        For doing exactly what Blaine was doing. I’m not even sure what knowing about AG would do to that realization.

        1. Fart Captor

          Yeah, he’s pretty clearly seeing the parallels between himself an Blaine. Amazi-Girl has nothing to do with it

    3. CJ

      Given the red panels of rage, isn’t it that maybe Mike starts to realize that a) Amber and AG actually act differently and somehow are not the same person and b) Amber might kill Blaine in her rage?

    4. Alina Fridberg

      I initially thought he knew who AG is, but going back over the Dingdong Bandit story – it doesn’t appear that he does.

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/interrogation/

  14. DailyBrad

    Shit’s intense.

  15. Regalli

    Is Mike about to kill Blaine? Because my only qualm with this would be the obvious trauma for them if he does so.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Killis has verified on FatesBook (on a secret PayMeOn-exclusive account) that Blaime is gonna get the big deatherino from Mitch, because it’ll take a long time to deal with the fallout, so it’ll be good material for years to come.

      1. Regalli

        Yeah, doubt it would actually end in death for the obvious. But great to see Mike realize he is wrong and that he needs to be an actual friend!

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Friends beat the shit out of each other’s dads to keep each other from getting a facefull of hammer.

      2. Needfuldoer

        Not sure whether to yell “LIES” or “SPOILERS”…

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Fun story, I once got reprimanded by a streamer because I was making up nonsense plot developments for a game I knew nothing about. Unfortunately, that game was Control, which is a decently weird game, and the things I was saying were within the realm of reality for it. Nobody who’d already played it could confirm or deny what I said without giving away pretty big details themselves, and it was getting disruptive.

        2. vitalProximity

          That’s fantastic, Mike! ;D

          …Seriously, that sounds pretty funny.

  16. BBCC

    Welp, have fun with that Heel Realization, Mike. 😛

    1. Matticus

      Mike right now:
      https://i.imgur.com/8ubGFLt.gif

    2. newllend(henryvolt)

      You make it sound like Mike didn’t know he was a Jerk the hold time. As if he didn’t know exactly what he was doing.

      1. thejeff

        If I’m reading this right, he didn’t. Or he didn’t realize how screwed up his rationalizations for it were, until he heard Blaine spouting the same thing.

      2. Sam

        He knew he was a jerk, but he didn’t know he was being a literal Blaine. That’s likely why some things had clear pushing towards character growth even if it was pushing them through a bramble bush to get there. Though not everything did (like his recordings of Walky crying).

  17. Agemegos

    Still Amazi-Girl in the fourth panel?

    1. Clif

      Still the Amazigirl voice, so signs point to yes.

      1. King Daniel

        Amber has done the “Amazi-Girl voice” before, so that’s not necessarily conclusive evidence on its own.

  18. pdp15

    When push comes to shove I always think of Twyla Tharp.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_aEbEqpLdc

  19. Zor

    When the resident trollish asshole gets a memorable, well-written character arc that hopefully ends in the at least temporary smiting of Captain Abusive Narcissist an excited smile worms its way through the extremely-concerned look on my face.

    Smite him and work through your issues kids 😀

    1. vitalProximity

      Yaaaay

  20. Bladeglory

    Oooh in retrospect those were Mike’s red panels 4-5 comics ago, not Amb/AG’s.

    He’s starting his own collection, how nice! /s

  21. Sambo

    Holy crap, I can’t believe no one has mentioned this yet:
    Mike’s hair is not 2-dimensional in panel 4!

    1. bajja

      <3
      I hadn't noticed.

      He finally gained some depth.
      Was this for the artist, for the sake of time passing alone, or perhaps even..
      …an intentional symbol to the audience.

    2. Mopey

      Now I read that panel as the *whump* coming from his hair poofing out into 3d, in the vein of Sal’s curls popping back.

  22. Moon

    oh i hate seeing his hairline for some reason

  23. Liz

    OMG Is Mike getting feelings?!

    1. bajja

      =\

      why is it okay to bully a bully?
      especially when the “bully” very often directs his aggression in productive, nondestructive ways??

      Ha. I’m gonna toss in an ACAB, so I’m playing both sides of the debate.

      1. BBCC

        Well for one, because it’s impossible to bully Mike because he does not exist. Second of all, bullshit he’s productive and nondestructive does not equal non harmful.

  24. sdrainbow

    hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooly shit

  25. NinjaNick

    Amazi-Girl’s right. Blaine’s heart is full of cold steel and burning hate. Mike, finish this thing.

  26. Doom Shepherd

    I really hope Blaine is on the receiving end of that Whump.

  27. Icalasari

    Mike is either going to have a break down, or is going to break Blaine and Ross

  28. Reltzik

    Posting for reference:

    Panel 1

    Panel 3

    Panels 5-6

    1. Clif

      +1 for public service.

  29. Dr_D

    The way the WHUMP in the 4th panel seems to cut off AGs words make me fear that AG is in trouble. Of course, that means Mike can come to the rescue.

    1. Needfuldoer

      I’m hoping it was just simultaneous to and louder than that last syllable…

    2. Bicycle Bill

      I think Dr. D is partially right.  A-G IS in trouble — or at least she is not having as easy a time of this battle as Mike expected her to have — and the look on Mike’s face upon seeing whatever action caused the “WHUMP!” in panel 4 just confirms it.

  30. Banzo

    Mike has never been as bad as Shortpacked Mike, just kind of teenage dick Mike, but people treated him like he was incapable of human emotions, like treating every single thing Danny did like it was old Danny, so seeing this come about is very satisfying as someone who’s been very interested to see Mike develop and not consistently write him off.

    1. Meagan

      +1. I hate seeing people be written off like that

    2. thejeff

      People also treated him as if he was some kind of asshole sage. Always somehow helping people by being a dick. Some of the hate was a response to that.
      I’m also glad to see Mike develop, but we had years of people cheering him on without any development. It looks like that development is going to involve realizing how much of a dick he’s been, so that’s good. Not sure where that leaves him as a character though.

      1. BBCC

        This too.

    3. BBCC

      Just because Mike has the capacity to develop doesn’t mean people couldn’t dislike him for acting like an asshole when pretty much all he did was be an asshole. I mean, now that he is developing I’m down for it (and as I said, I was willing to forgive a LOT of minor bullshit once he lead the Dads away from the party – he bought himself a lot of much needed goodwill for that one, though he still has major stuff to make up for), but before that I didn’t have any reason to like him on a ‘personal’ level. He was fine as a character but I didn’t really like ‘him’. If he keeps on this path, that can change.

    4. Jago

      I really wanted him to be more than, well… just a funny asshat. I’m glad that he actually is, and that we might see something of that. I’m carefully hopeful for some more Mike-depth.

  31. Mra

    I have never seen Mike so emotional.

  32. ninja_jesus

    “No, Mike. You are the Abusers.” And then Mike was Blaine.

    1. starkruzr

      Whoa. This reference is a deep cut.

      1. ninja_jesus

        It was the first thing I thought of when I read the comic, haha.

  33. Zellgato

    Man. Mike really is gonna bite the dust. Probably with one or both dads.
    though i hope not. Just from the stand ponit of that would reasonably remove her from the universe as well. Because it would be seriously jumping the shark if he died because of her and she got over it/stuck around in the storyline.

    I still hope this ends with Mike jump kicking one of them down the stairs then him and amazigirl running and using her extra grappeling hook to get out of area

  34. newllend(henryvolt)

    One would call it tough love, most other’s would call it abuse. This idea of love feels sort of close fisted. Especially since his “love” didn’t do her any favors, it just messed her up. By this logic was it a show of love everytime he slapped around his ex wife? No it’s not.

  35. Suet

    Now, now, Blaine. You’re no worse than Mike. Shallow snark and wisdom with minimal tact are better than violence.

    Lack of true toxicity is why Mike is accepted. He checks, and balances, but still knows his limits.

  36. OnyxIdol

    Oh no! Mike is revealed to have emotions!

  37. Ray Radlein

    …sommmmmeone is gonna Act With Integrity here in a moment, isn’t he

  38. Anywhere

    Mike showing any facial expression that’s not his default will always be the scariest things in DOA and the Walkyverse, IMHO.

  39. Needfuldoer

    Wait a minute, what’s Ross doing while all of this is happening? Still standing a few steps down the fire escape, frozen in awe of the spectacle unfolding? Attempting to “excuse me, pardon me” his way around AG and Blaine? Sneaking off to the scene of the party while everyone else is distracted?

    1. Bagge

      Being self concious about his stupid mustasche?

    2. Keulen

      Maybe Blaine’s hammer from a couple strips ago hit him in the head and he’s been lying there unconscious during the rest of this fight.

      1. King Daniel

        We should be so lucky.

  40. TrueVCU

    Anyone else feeling like Mike’s got big “Vader in Return of the Jedi” energy here

  41. Bagge

    Of course Blaine knows what love means.

    It means the same thing as “ownership”, right?

  42. Carl-E

    Are we witnessing the birth of a sidekick?

    Mike the boy wonder?

    1. starkruzr

      “Birth of a superhero” is exactly the thing I thought when I got through reading this.

  43. plasticwrap

    I was right! Edgy subreddit DOES have a heart!

  44. BenRG

    I’ve got a feeling that we are about to see Mike’s final, grand, finishing act. A truly spectacular final move in the Game of Life that will inevitably change everyone who ever knew him, possibly leaving them wondering if they’d ever truly known him at all.

    1. not someone else

      You think he’s going to get a haircut? 😮

      1. Delicious Taffy

        Unfortunately, it’ll be that shaved-sides Skrillex hairdo that was associated with fashy thirty-somethings for about a week in 2017.

  45. TheFlamingonator

    Is someone about to hit the concrete

    I feel like someone is about to hit the concrete

  46. Rabisch

    This strip is a masterpiece. But I’m pretty scared. Looks like Mike want to do the ultimate sacrifice for Amber.

  47. Acebender

    Hoe don’t do it

  48. DarkoNeko

    What ? WHAT ?

  49. hof1991

    Blaine’s costume makes sense to me now. The armor and mask are what Mike has worn his whole life. The tough love is what he has made his super power. He thought he was perhaps chaotic good, but now sees himself in Blaine. He doesn’t like what he sees.

  50. Jay

    Mikes having a revelation. WAIT IS MIKE GONNA GROW AS A PERSON

  51. Vulcanodon

    DOA: come for the drama, stay for the redemption arcs. We’re rootin’ for ya, Mike

  52. ziggy78eog

    Is Mike having a moment, where he learns that being an asshat is toxic, and not a healthy way to show people you care about them? Is he about to become a (gasp!) decent human being?

    1. Clif

      Never. Mike is a force of nature.

  53. BenRG

    Yeah, no matter how many times I read that last panel, I hear Mike saying: “It is a far, far better thing I do today than I have done before. It is a far, far better rest I go to than I have ever before known.”

  54. Claire

    Mike!!! Emotionss!!

  55. bajja

    Aaaaand THERE it is:

    Mike has been a “terrible” SUBMISSIVE desperately trying to serve as a way of expressing love
    this WHOLE time.

    TERRIFIED of the feedback and patterns that make them wonder
    if their confusion around consensual versus pressured actions
    has turned their soul inside out.

    I will and have ALWAYS. LOVED. MIKE.

    1. vivid grim

      what

  56. ScarletSabre

    Welp, time for Dumbiverse Mike to do what Walkyverse Mike never got a chance to do… Beat the shit out of Blaine 😀

  57. jmsr7

    Well, Mike is obviously having some sort of epic moment here above and beyond realizing that Amber=Amazi-Girl; but what that is, i can’t tell. Looking forward to the coming strips!

    1. Whitt

      The flash back is of mike “helping” by assuming amber “can’t” stand up for herself… while bad dad is saying he “helps” by doing the same. He sees his own love as abusive, and is having a mental freak.

  58. Leadsynth

    Was the “So let me do this for you” in a prior strip? Can someone link me?

    1. Bathymetheus

      Reltzik posted the relevant links above.

      1. Leadsynth

        Thx!

  59. TemperaryObsessor

    I feel like I’m making this comment a few comics late but…
    Blaine wanted Amber to be more assertive the same way Linda wants Sal to bow to racism. Not because it will make her happier or her life better but because it reflects better on him. And frankly his so called tough love proberly had the same effect that Linda’s tough love, send her in the opposite direction.
    I’m glad that Amber had at least one parent to show her how to stand up for herself though.
    Leaving an abuser is not easy.

  60. DragonLizardJareth

    Why do I have the suspicious feeling this story line is the last time we’re gonna see Mike and Blaine (At least for awhile).

  61. Lorien Inksong

    Gosh darnit stop making me feel things about Mike. I was so content to dislike him.

    Damn you Willis!!

  62. Mr. Random

    …ooooooooh.
    The red panels were Mike’s.
    Not Amber’s.

  63. sapphic-sunshine

    Honestly, the pacing/layout of this strip makes it one of my favorites, it gives a lot of character development for Mike + sets the stakes for the following strip well in just a handful of panels

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