134

Greetings
Posted on May 19, 2021 by David M Willis

134 thoughts on “Greetings”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    WELL THAT WENT WELL

    …same time in 5 minutes?

    1. Ana Chronistic

      (that sounded better in my head maybe)

      Why hello Teruhashi-san! *gasp*

    2. Lightpunster

      That comment made me laugh harder than any comic strip so far

      1. milu

        It was a very good comment.

  2. Suet

    Connie!!

    Great start, Daisy. Over/Under on how long this date will last? I take 5 strips.

    1. Clif

      The date never starts. Instead Daisy is sidetracked into convincing Glasso that sha and Conquest are the perfect couple to produce him an heir.

    2. Thag Simmons

      I would like to place a bet on either 0 strips or a successful date that leads into Ruth/Daisy being the status quo for a while

  3. Doctor_Who

    Anyone else imagine Conquest speaking with an accent? Problem is, I can’t figure out what accent it is I’m “hearing”.

    It just seems like the daughter of an evil overlord has an accent. Galasso himself doesn’t need one, he’s just voiced by Clancy Brown.

    1. NotThatDrew

      Yes, actually. For some reason I’ve always felt she’d have a vaguely Eastern European accent, and I can’t put my finger on why that idea popped into my head

      1. Blackdrazon

        You’re both thinking of Talia al Ghul from Batman: The Animated Series.

        1. Proto

          Who was basically the genesis for Connie so I’d imagine they sound extremely similar.

        2. Needfuldoer

          Okay I just looked it up, and I think that’s the best suggestion so far. Maybe we can get Helen Slater to voice Connie, and David Warner can voice Galasso.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXvOaUiLvL4

      2. Nono

        It’s likely a combination of blonde hair + blue eyes and the fact that she uses terms like ‘Father’ and a bit stilted in her grammar.

        I could see her with some kind of Scandinavian accent.

        1. Needfuldoer

          Swedish, maybe?

          https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=z92-eVfIuGI

          I always thought she’d sound vaguely English for some reason. Sort of like the accent Alex Moffat is faking in this SNL skit:

          https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hNoZHUDB3GU

          But for that to be plausible we’d have to get someone like Judi Dench to voice Pamela and I don’t know if she’s in our budget.

        2. JediMB

          Oh, lawd, do I abhor Swedish accents for English. It’s irrational, but I can’t shake it.

    2. Miri

      I always imagine her sounding robotic!

      1. Miri

        (Flat with no emotions/emphases)

    3. Ray Radlein

      Straight Valley Girl accent, for maximum cognitive dissonance

    4. Thag Simmons

      Everyone speaks with an accent of some sort, as I understand it

    5. Ace

      A north eastern-Maine-ish almost faux-British accent is how I’ve always imagined Conquest.

  4. Jamie

    DAISY NO

    1. Keulen

      DAISY YES

      1. AbelUndercity

        DAISY MAYBE

        1. a/snow/mous/e

          DAISY I DON’T KNOW CAN YOU REPEAT THE QUESTION

        2. Roborat

          Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do

  5. BBCC

    Jennifer, come on, give her a photo or at least a description of what Ruth looks like!

    Or one would think you’re subconsciously sabotaging the date or something.

    1. Doctor_Who

      “What does she look like?”

      “Scowly.”

      Daisy sits down at Sarah’s table.

    2. DailyBrad

      I wonder if she just didn’t want to tell Daisy it’s Ruth, but then she wouldn’t mention the scowling, so hmm. Ruth’s kind of notorious, so it’s surprising if Daisy doesn’t know her.

      1. RacingTurtle

        Notorious in her own building, but it’s a big campus

        1. King Daniel

          “Big campus” is kind of underselling it, IU Bloomington has a student+faculty population approaching 60,000 people. That’s not even counting people living in Bloominton who aren’t directly affiliated as either students or faculty. 😛

        2. Meagan

          Dang, that is so much more than the population of my university. I didn’t even know colleges could be that big.

        3. King Daniel

          It’s not even in the top ten as far as campus sizes go in the US.

          (#10 would currently be University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, with 62,680 students+faculty; the #1 place currently goes to the University of Central Florida, with 84,267 students+faculty.)

        4. drs

          Really? When I was there I think it was 28,000 UG, 7,000 grad students, no idea about faculty. 60,000 was the putative population of the town, I never knew if that included the students or not.

        5. drs

          Huh, wiki says 50,000 students, 90,000 population.

        6. Kaidah

          Yikes. My whole town doesn’t have 60,000 people.

    3. Kyrik Michalowski

      The question is, does Billie even have a picture of Ruth at this point?

      Although she could have easily said: “She’s a redhead with a possible scowl.” and have prevented this.

      1. BBCC

        Yeah, I could understand not having a photo because you deleted them or whatever, but at least tell Daisy what she looks like. “Rehead, glasses, tall but sorter than you, scowly” isn’t that long and cuts down on the chance for hijink – ah, I see the problem.

    4. Nono

      She’s not mistaking Conquest for Ruth, since most sensible people would recognise Conquest’s words to be from the waitstaff. She’s just going lady hot, brain ooga booga.

      1. Nono

        The ‘said you’d be kinda scowly’ is likely a reference to Galasso. The shouting host of a pizza (and subs) place is probably a memorable point to include in casual conversation.

        1. RacingTurtle

          No, the panel established Daisy doesn’t know what her blind date looks like for a reason. She’s looking for Ruth. Missing the obvious social cues that indicate Conquest works there are what Daisy is embarrassed about

        2. milu

          Which ties in to her running out…. How?
          No, she totally thought that was Ruth but then got deeply embarrassed because in retrospect she realizes it SHOULD’ve been obvious she was a waitress.

    5. I am Nothing

      Well, I guess it really is a blind date.

    6. Keulen

      Kinda surprised she didn’t give Daisy at least a decent description of what Ruth looks like.

  6. Axel

    At least she’s planning to go back?

    1. NotThatDrew

      Everyone should be able to give themselves one mulligan in social situations

      1. NotThatDrew

        Although, given what we’ve seen from Daisy thus far she may need at least three of those

  7. Kyrik Michalowski

    It’s ok Daisy, just pretend you have no idea what is going on at any given moment. That’s how I bumble through life and just look at me: fat, sad and probably going to die alone.

    Don’t you want that to be you? :V

    1. Keulen

      Oof, this is too relatable.

    2. Daibhid C

      Same.

      I mean, apart from the pretending part.

    3. Jhon

      Or you could die surrounded by smirking enemies.

  8. DailyBrad

    Oh hey Conquest! It’s been a while!

    1. Doctor_Who

      Yeah, it’s been like 6.5 years since we got a Conquest appearance.

  9. Mikey

    Okay, so is “Hi, I’m Daisy” a Nintendo reference?

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Nintendo doesn’t own generic name-based greetings.

      1. Mikey

        Yeah, but I’m so used to hearing Princess Daisy say that, that to me it will always sound like a reference to her.

    2. Rabid Rabbit

      Pretty sure it’s more of a reference to this: https://www.shortpacked.com/comic/hi-i039m-daisy

      So yes, but at one remove.

      1. Keulen

        That was the first thing I thought of when I read Daisy’s line in this strip.

  10. TheKelliestKelly

    Dang, Billie, you couldn’t have given Daisy a hair color to go off of? “Red hair” is a lot easier to pick out than “Scowl-y”

    Also, no one tell Daisy that Conquest is only 16 – Daisy might actually die of embarrassment

    1. Regalli

      I think at that point she finds a hole to crawl into and a rock to cover it with.

  11. Delicious Taffy

    Daisy you incel, the waitstaff is never hitting on you, go back there and look for your date. Kids these days.

    1. TheKelliestKelly

      I think Daisy didn’t realize that good ole’ Connie is part of the restaurant staff

      1. Delicious Taffy

        Maybe she doesn’t go out to eat very often, then.

        1. King Daniel

          Didn’t you read yesterday’s strip? Of course she doesn’t ea-
          *is dragged away*

        2. Delicious Taffy

          Fuck, that was free pun real estate and I totally missed it.

  12. Kravis

    I didn’t even know Conquest existed.

    She sure is more charming than her “Invincible” namesake.

  13. Endplanets

    She finally said “Hi. I’m Daisy”.
    Meme achieved.

    1. JediMB

      [Like]

  14. Pivitor

    It’s nice to know Galasso pays her! You never know with him

    1. RacingTurtle

      THE HEIR TO MY EMPIRE REQUIRES NO PAYMENT SAVE THE LAMENTATIONS OF OUR ENEMIES wait, I am informed of something called “The Department of Labor”

    2. King Daniel

      I’m pretty sure it’s Pamela who actually handles payroll. 😛

      1. Thag Simmons

        Pamela handles everything that requires actual management I suspect

        1. Needfuldoer

          Headcanon says she actually runs the business, and lets Galasso lord over the kitchen and wait staff as head chef / mascot.

        2. Regalli

          Galasso also provides a handy cover to anyone who’d think their business might be sketchy. Obviously the owner has delusions of supervillainy, yeah, but he’s too histrionic to ACTUALLY be up to anything, he’d admit it instantly.

          And Pamela smiles from the back room, where she’s working on the schematics for a Dimensionator to bring an alternate-dimensional army. If she can just get the proper cheese formula, then soon. Soon, MULTIVERSAL PIZZA (and subs) DOMINATION WILL BE THEIRS!

        3. Keulen

          Just as long as she doesn’t accidentally cause Soggies to try and take over or something.

        4. NotThatDrew

          They may yet rule

        5. Regalli

          Unintentional consequences? From cross-dimensional travel? Pshaw! That would NEVER happen in a Willis work!

        6. JBento

          Galasso’s Pizza (and Subs) provides a dinner and a show, and the show is getting to see Galasso. Come on, I’d eat here just to hear Galasso.

        7. Thag Simmons

          I think that’s just canon

  15. LiterallyJustSomeGuy

    Think of it this way: Going back in immediately is less embarrassing than “not coming back” or showing up in 5 minutes. Your date is waiting! That said, I’m not really sure what Daisy is supposed to do (other than maybe contact Jennifer), since Ruth is inside and Daisy doesn’t know what she looks like. Does Ruth know what Daisy looks like? Setting up blind dates like this only really works if you have a go-between who knows both sides.

  16. Sirksome

    Conquest? How many years has it been since we last saw her in a strip?

    1. Rikunda

      How many days are in a few years of comics?

    2. Thag Simmons

      Last appearance was in December of 2016

      1. dej

        so approximately a week comic time

        1. Norah

          Well, more now because of the time skip.

        2. Needfuldoer

          Her previous appearance occurred on September 23rd, DoA time. Now it’s January, but we don’t know the exact date or day of the week yet.

  17. Mikey

    Here’s some genuine advice for if you find yourself in this kind of situation: If possible, just laugh at your mistake to defuse the awkwardness. Say something like “Oh, I thought you were my blind date! Sorry!” In general, explaining the situation makes you seem like less of a weirdo and more of a person making an honest mistake.

    1. milu

      That or just imagine the other person naked, and– nope

      1. AGV

        Who the frick came up with that bs anyway

        1. milu

          i think it’s more commonly recommended when addressing an audience actually. i guess if everyone is naked it stops being erotic and just becomes silly? idk i don’t talk to audiences.

  18. RassilonTDavros

    …I really needed this laugh tonight.

  19. Bicycle Bill

    $29.95?  Dang, those are some pricey T-shirts.

    1. milu

      they’re $19.99 ^^

    2. Bicycle Bill

      It’s these 66-year-old eyes.  Thought it said $29.99 for the T-shirts and $19.99 for the tank tops.

  20. Bagge

    I mean, Conny works for a) her parents, one of whom is b) Galasso.

    Is she really being paid to be nice?

    and if so, is she paid enough?

    1. milu

      And if not, is she really paid to lure the customers into a sense of unguarded complacency?

      1. Regalli

        Oh, obviously. Pamela’s not actually any less of a supervillain than her husband, she’s just SMARTER about it. Subtle. The financial mastermind behind the Galasso Empire, which Conquest will someday inherit!

    2. JBento

      I don’t know how much she’s being paid, but I DO know she’s not being paid enough. I DO expect Galasso’s to pay its employees a decent wage, but there’s no money in the WORLD enough to compensate having to be nice to, say, Mary.

      1. Jhon

        I don’t believe Mary has ever been to Galasso’s. She and Galasso have not appeared together. And nobody is paying me enough to do a tag trawl of Mary.

      2. milu

        eh, most customer-facing jobs require you to be some level of nice to customers, and they all involve serving Maries (or worse) every day.

        so what you’re saying is, service jobs should pay better.
        i mean,
        yeah.

  21. zims

    “I am paid to be nice!” Gotta love how up-front Conquest is about that. She’s not letting you see behind the veil, she’s tearing the veil down and burning it. Although given how easy it is to mistake friendliness for flirting, she probably has to be up-front to stave off even half the propositions she gets.

  22. BenRG

    Additionally, I seem to recall that Connie is a couple of years younger than the main cast making her very underage. So, yeah, awkward.

    The romcom set-up is pretty obvious here. I wonder what lonely/unhappy lady Ruth will meet in there whilst Daisy is off bitterly regretting her wholly-imaginary faults?

    1. RassilonTDavros

      The wiki says she’s sixteen, so… yeah, abandon ship.

      1. BarerMender

        Indiana’s age of consent is 16, so the ship can sail. Legally. Morally is another question.

        1. JBento

          Wait, how old is Daisy. I don’t expect her to be older than, like, 18-19, that doesn’t seem like a moral problem. I mean, know which of these two seems to have it more together.

        2. BenRG

          Daisy is in Ruth’s age group, I think – Junior or Senior year – so she might be as old as 21.

        3. thejeff

          I assume, just from her being in charge of the newspaper. I don’t think it’s been stated explicitly though.

        4. JBento

          Oh god, no, yeah, torpedo that ship, burn the shipyard, and hang the shipwright.

        5. milu

          then torch the gallows, ship the ashes to the Marianas trench, torpedo that ship, then date the torpedo operator, let me give you her number

        6. BarerMender

          I seem to recall we got recent notification that Daisy is 26. She’s not a student.

  23. StClair

    I love the alt-text here.

  24. Romanticide

    Glad to see Connie in this universe has retained the ability to be merciless when she feels like being merciless. Feels very Gen z this time and I am here for it

    1. Romanticide

      Damn! Should have used the desktop to post… here I don’t get my gravatar

  25. Rabisch

    OUCH! Poor Daisy.

  26. Amos Batista

    Conquest hair is like it’s glowing. You know, like Super Sonic…

  27. Keulen

    Jennifer forgot to tell Daisy (or show her a picture or something) what Ruth looks like?

    1. C.T. Phipps

      Jennifer is a terrible wingwoman.

  28. JediMB

    Connie: Completely unfazed.
    Daisy: Not so much.

    1. JBento

      NO OFFSPRING OF GALASSO’S SHALL SUFFER FROM THE AFFLICTION OF THE COMMONERS KNOWS AS “FAZING”.

      1. thejeff

        Faz has a chart that disagrees.

  29. Eldritchy

    So… when does she turn into a grumpy blood-thirsty grandpa with a cybernetic arm?

  30. AGV

    I suppose that I shouldn’t be too surprised about how much of a nervous wreck is Daisy

    Like, who confuses “Hi, welcome to *business name*” with a general introduction

  31. darkoneko

    she’s blinding

    1. BenRG

      I’ve got a mental image of Daisy down on one knee in front of her calling her ‘my Sun Queen’ and Gallasso grumbling about “finally, someone addresses Gallasso’s daughter by her proper title!”

  32. Deanatay

    I have never understood the economic phenomenon that causes tank-tops to cost more than a regular t-shirt.

    1. Deanatay

      Also are awkward lady-boners a thing?

    2. Sol

      They don’t though? The T-Shirts are $19.99 and the Tank tops are $14.95

      1. Deanatay

        a) I’m getting old, the price for tank tops looked like $24.95,

        b) I’ve seen this IRL, so I accepted the dissonance.

  33. torrent29

    Conquest is literally glowing.

    1. BenRG

      Yeah, Daisy is in love and this can only lead to complications.

    2. Needfuldoer

      Galasso pays a grip to keep a spotlight on her for her entire shift. It gets awkward when she’s at school because they have to follow her around with the light on a jib.

  34. Jhon

    Conquest has obviously been raised to be DaddysLittleVillain. ( do NOT google that .. itsatrap Go to
    this.     )

  35. Juanoku

    somebody better pick up that phone
    Because i fucking
    C A L L E D I T

    1. RassilonTDavros

      …so how long have you been keeping that joke in the cooler?

      1. Juanoku

        Too long
        (Is that a reference i see?)

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