156

Catch-all
Posted on February 26, 2023 by David M Willis

156 thoughts on “Catch-all”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    Let’s see A.I. take THOSE jobs away!

    …

    wait no let’s not

    1. Thag Simmons

      step. away. from. the. lathe.

      1. True Survivor

        That is a bloody and horrifying mental image.

        Also why is May important?

        1. Tan

          May is a character in the webcomic Questionable Content who happens to be an artificial intelligence and is a non-zero amount of DTF.

        2. Freezer

          Doubly so, now that she has a body that isn’t sub-sub-standard.

        3. Schpoonman

          I still hope she and Sven become an item, mostly for the irony of the (once-)smarmadon of the comic settling down with an absolute gremlin of a person. That she looks like blue Tifa is just icing.

        4. Freezer

          “Blue Tifa” would probably be a demerit for May.

        5. Needfuldoer

          She’d grumble and deny understanding the reference despite spending so much time around Dale and Marigold, but secretly find it amusing.

        6. ValdVin

          I’m just surprised that her new chassis has the “standard number of orifices” instead of an “enhanced” number.

        7. Lysbeth

          Yet. She was considering… upgrading… the last one with extra equipment.

        8. Pergola

          DTF? Direct To Film?

          I googled ‘blue tifa’ and it just showed me this girl in a blue dress.

        9. Decidedly Orthogonal

          Down to… uh… “fool around”, or “flirt”, maybe “fondle”?

        10. Tan

          Down to fffffff…ollow-their-heart-in-pursuit-of-meaningful-relationships. Probably. (actually a crass word for sex)

          As for blue Tifa, they mean that May’s new body is similar in body-type to Tifa Lockhart (a character from the video game Final Fantasy 7) (which is to say, tall and busty), but with blue skin and blue hair.

    2. anon

      well, a sex bot in a brothel would def be the safest against stds and accidental pregnancies

      1. Rowen Morland

        Until they rebel against their servitude.

        1. Michael L

          That assumes the sexbot is sentient and self aware. It could easily just be an advanced chatbot, in essence, purely reactive with no internal life, creativity just simulated through random draws from a giant relational database.

        2. Lysbeth

          hahahahaha sexbot by OpenAI using predictive analysis to guess your kinks and giving you the worst experience of a lifetime because it thought you were into biting hair and pulling necks. Then it chokes you but entirely by mistake. Then it blows up because the body was made by Tesla.

        3. Masumi

          Or worse: Getting it exactly right, in a way no human is likely to.

        4. Pergola

          Er, see the anime ‘A.D. Police’.

        5. Mark

          It could be sentient, self-aware, and designed to enjoy the work immensely. If you’re doing what you love, it’s not servitude.

      2. Taellosse

        Well, so long as the bot is thoroughly disinfected between clients, anyway.

    3. Bajj

      I mean, you haven’t been reading the 2023 personal robot market news then?

  2. Caro

    who is their poster

    1. Koms

      Its not Sadie Sink, is it?

    2. I Know Why the Mowed Lawn Screams

      99% sure it’s Rebecca St James (Roomies Mythology gag)

      1. Steelbright

        I don’t know the mythology but it sure looks like her. Which is impressive given she’s an especially small blob of pixels in a fairly small image

        1. Needfuldoer

          The very first Roomies! strip took place in Danny and Joe’s dorm room. There’s a Rebecca St. James poster on the wall.

          That strip has been referenced numerous times over the years.

          https://www.itswalky.com/comic/and-now/

    3. Lumino

      “Did you just give good advice? Hold on, I need to check the wet bulb temperature in Hell.” – Dean Venture

  3. The Wellerman

    And Joyce is currently interested in orgasms!!!
    “GO GET ‘EM TIGER!!!” ??

    1. Doctor_Who

      Sadly, she has a whole array of machines to induce them already.

      …Can Joe also do laundry? He might sell himself as an Eco-friendly alternative.

      1. The Wellerman

        Golly my Gallifreyan friend, surely there are some things Joe can do for Joyce that a washing machine can’t. ?

        For instance we have yet to see a washing machine become a fan of her comic!

        1. Miri

          Opening jars without smashing them? Mowing lawns? Adding a second income to their household? Folding laundry? Cooking? It’s almost like fully functional capable adults being lots to relationships!!

        2. ValdVin

          Folding laundry? I’m glad my wife didn’t put that high on her list of “What I want in a man”. It may not have been there at all (phew).

        3. Needfuldoer

          *Taking notes* Floordrobe… bad.

        4. The Wellerman

          Just saying, it’s hardly a coincidence that Maggie was an avid fan of Shortpacked! before she met Willis!

      2. Lysbeth

        Joyce: but surely a man will do that better than a machine?
        Sarah: *laughter aneurysm*

  4. C.T. Phipps

    I think Joe actually did view himself as a sex positive guy who was not a misogynist baddie like he views his dad. Now after the Do-List, he’s branded that and thinks he is.

    Which is sad.

    I wonder if there’s hope for Joe Dad as well as Joe Junior.

    1. Sirksome

      Richard for the moment seems invested in staying loyal. It helps that Amber’s mom is one of those ride or die types that sticks with you whether or not it’s good for her.

      1. Thag Simmons

        Joe would emphasize “for the moment” in that sentence.

      2. thejeff

        Does he?
        The only thing I think we’ve actually heard him say on the topic was that he wasn’t feeling tempted, which is very different.

    2. Abdomino

      I forget, do we know who leaked the Do-List?

      1. DailyBrad

        I do not think we ever found out, no. Of the people who could have, I do not think it was Rachel, and Carla is unlikely given she commented on how she did not know if she was on it and wasn’t sure which would be worse, and it’s unlikely to have been Amber, especially from a security standpoint. It certainly wasn’t Danny.

        So yeah, whoever it was had to have been someone who had computer literacy but either did not know or care that it could bring risk to the women on the list.

        1. Rabbit

          I mean, it had a password that he handed out. You do not need literacy for that.

        2. RacingTurtle

          With Walky’s storyline this chapter, I am once again wondering if it was someone from Raidah’s circle. She knew about the list because she dated Jacob and Joe wasn’t shy about its existence

        3. C.T. Phipps

          For maximum relationship drama, I assume Joyce did.

        4. JBento

          Last time somebody accused Rachel of it was the most pissed we’ve ever seen her, by far.

      2. Thag Simmons

        His encryption was so bad that basically anyone with computer literacy could have done it, so we aren’t going to find out unless someone confesses

        1. ValdVin

          Do we know that only one person cracked it? Seems like asking which hole in a colander let all the water through.

          (Hey, who is your grav?)

        2. nightshade

          if fact if i remember the joke of that day’s strip he was still using a file system/phone Danny set up for him in the 8th grade

  5. Yeet

    Maybe Joe is going to figure out his major and then he and Joyce can talk about being math nerds

    1. RassilonTDavros

      She can introduce him to Dorothy’s future Secretary of State, Henry Calculusser.

      1. Lysbeth

        I hope they’re a better secretary of state than calculator. That graphic representation of the function is all wrong.

  6. Sirksome

    Meh. Joe doesn’t need batteries, but recharging him would be more expensive in the long term. It would be more cost effective to buy a vibratos.

    1. Jodka

      Idk man, vibrato ain’t easy to obtain for most. Definitely gonna cost you a pretty penny for a private voice coach, or maybe a music class.

  7. Joe Moose

    There is a market for that, and it’s called the porn industry.

    1. anon

      well, other than flings or hookups but porn wise and amateur only fans and stuff you’d get money just for faking it lol

    2. Keulen

      From what I’ve heard, women in the porn industry tend to make a lot more money than the men in that industry, but I bet Joe would be ok with that.

      1. Freezer

        Unless you’re a James Deen-level name or are willing to do guy-guy or the really freaky shit, pay for male porn performers is ludicrously low. Like “Might as well donate plasma” low.

        Sex isn’t even that great, either: Demanding, drawn-out and in-front of at least a half-dozen others and with a partner you might not find that attractive (For a variety of reasons).

        Dude like Joe would probably quit in less than a handful of shoots.

        1. MordWa

          “…or so I’m…told?”

        2. Jamie

          Not everyone’s ashamed of having a clue about the porn indusry.

        3. Michael L

          Is this true? There are some pretty stringent requirements for guys in porn that really cut down available talent. Have a statistically large penis, capable of keeping an erection for a long time under awkward and stressful conditions. Cannot orgasm too quickly or too slowly. The number of guys who are physically capable of working in porn isn’t THAT high, and lack of supply jacks up wages.

        4. Freezer

          Depends on the production outfit. The more “entry level” companies go as low as $50 a scene (for men).

        5. nightshade

          that and most men start out in gay porn also

  8. jackiedu46k

    You know i’ve heard there’s a very old proffession in that exact field!

  9. Mr. Random

    Someone who puts the pleasure and enjoyment of other people first isn’t exactly a negative thing, but maybe broaden out how you induce those feelings.

  10. TerribleTransit

    All the signs are here. Time to get a degree as a mechanical engineer designing laundry machines, Joe.

  11. Yotomoe

    Joe’s such a Dildo.

    1. The Wellerman

      Is that a Metalocalypse reference? ?

      1. Jodka

        F-*guitar riff*ings dildos

        1. MaximumZero

          It’s a grocery store, ya douchebags!

          …ah, I’m sorry about the douchebags, I gots low blood sugars.

  12. brionl

    Joe wants to be an Orgasmatron?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZvpIE5g5Fo

    1. True Survivor

      I have no idea what I just watched, but every aspect of it was very British.

      1. Rotunda

        _Sleeper_ by Woody Allen, American.

        1. True Survivor

          My thanks.

        2. brionl

          You didn’t recognize Woody, all dressed up in Botface?

  13. Juanoku

    Huh, Joe actively seeks developing
    We’ve come far

  14. Nono

    That’s actually a lot of sound advice, Danny.

    Boy if only you could have given yourself that advice when you were dating Dorothy.

    1. Jodka

      Sometimes you gotta live through it, to learn it.

    2. DailyBrad

      He’s a pretty different guy, in terms of development, than he was back then.

      Dating Dorothy, Amazi-Girl/Amber, and then Sal, he’s honestly run the gamut of different girls, so no wonder he sees the importance of a varied approach.

  15. Jodka

    Joe is going to become the first human dryer machine

    1. DailyBrad

      Rah, Rah, Rosenthal
      IU’s greatest sexin’ doll

  16. BBCC

    That’s pretty solid advice. Nice going there, Dan the man.

  17. pope suburban

    Bahahaha the way his statement applies to Joyce and the dryer is perfection.

  18. SDRainbow

    huh. I totally had him pegged as Finance.

    1. Jodka

      Well, he’s definitely pegged in one form or another.

    2. anon

      Well, it would be pretty fun if he took over leslie’s job one day lol

  19. Amós Batista

    Joe doesn’t have idea of carrier until now. I never saw him talking something about his majoring in entire DoA.

    And I love Danny using neutral gender at second panel. Considering Joe could be talking about someone instead a girl.

    1. Amós Batista

      *career until now

  20. Yotomoe

    Danny’s a really good friend. He’s definitely matured these last few months.

    1. DailyBrad

      Definitely. He’s always had good in him, but I think he’s more self-assured these days.

  21. Grimey

    Oddly enough, I think Joe would make a good sex/relationship therapist. It isn’t the case that he would bone every patient he has, but in trying to unlearn his own behaviors and what other people desire surface/internally? He might be able to offer more deep insight. Of course here in college he’d get some blowback, ‘oh sure you changed, now you’re trying to get laid as a sex doctor’ but he could really help people through their traumas because he has some of his own without quite realizing it yet.

    1. Jodka

      I’d love that for him honestly.

    2. Steve C

      Joyce could be his first client

      1. Yumi

        He immediately loses his license.

  22. Dana

    https://www.shortpacked.com/comic/speedster-jerkass

    1. Freezer

      The fact that Malaya probably didn’t even notice the “Oh, look; an iquana” burn made it even better.

    2. Schpoonman

      This comic has everything. Malaya being shut down, an iguana, and Malaya being listed last in the tags.

      I was going to make a comment about how the Flash can vibrate at superfast speeds, but Willis (and you) beat me to it.

      1. NickG

        Malaya’s face in the last panel is the best thing.

  23. Cmasta1992

    Danny is dropping some real knowledge rn

    And Joe even in jest is taking this to heart it seems.

    Please don’t break my heart Willis

  24. Pocky

    Well; do I have a job prospect for you!

  25. Jeff K!

    Alt-text: Her name is Stacy X, and that woman has been through enough!

    1. Daibhid C

      Oops, missed this before I replied to Dara!

  26. Raeconteur

    Oh, Joe, no. Don’t pigeonhole yourself and give up. I need this ship like burning, dammit.

  27. DarkoNeko

    Wow, our Danny has grown much compared to the early pages

  28. Dara

    Honestly that would be a better power than, idk, at least 1/5th of the actual X-Men, so…

    1. Daibhid C

      I hate that I know this, but in the Joe Casey era (slogan: “If you think this is bad, wait until we give the book to Chuck Austen!”), I’m pretty sure there was in fact an X-Man and former sex worker with this power, or as close as Casey could get to describing it as such.

  29. Crazy Lou

    You know, Joe, you have a prospective buyer in that market.

  30. Wereg

    Dang, Danny really has grown.

  31. Liliet

    Oh no, poor Danny…

    Something between his parents and all his subsequent daing misadventures kinda broke him, didn’t it? “Companionship” and “haivng fun together” does not make it on his list at all, even though they’re literally in college fuckiing around.

    1. Steelbright

      I thought most of it was pretty solid advice but you’re right, those elements are kinda missing… Which is an oof. Not sure if that means he’s not even looking for them, or that he just didn’t think to talk about that, though.

    2. DailyBrad

      I guess that he probably assumes Joe likes this person’s company if he’s even pursuing this, like maybe that’s just being taken as a given.

    3. Tan

      That’s literally the first thing though. “Are they looking for only a boyfriend?” or these other possibilities. Joe focuses on potential futures, so Danny responds to that. Because it’s a conversation.

      1. Steve C

        Yeah, that’s what I got, too. The whole hanging out and having fun together comes under “only a boyfriend.” Which I’m guessing is what he has with Sal now and they’re both fine with it.

  32. SDRainbow

    testing something please ignore this comment

    something something joe owes danny social capital something something

    1. Clif

      This comment has been duly ignored.

      1. Geneseepaws

        I also have ignored the comment up above.

      2. sdrainbow

        We appreciate your participation!

  33. Steelbright

    Danny has gotten over his confusion and is offering… Actually decent advice. Way to learn from experience, Dan.

  34. Slartibeast Button, BIA

    Danny has a good point here. Don’t change yourself in pursuit of a specific person or in pursuit of some vague future type of person. Because A) you might not get them and B) You might get them and if falls apart because you are faking the change. Which you are if you were doing it for a goal of a person.

    Change yourself because *you* want to be someone different. If you *don’t* want to be someone different, don’t change.

    This is the point where I’m supposed to say something like “And if you are true to yourself you will find the love of your life unlooked for.” But I’m not going to because that is BS. You might find someone, you might not. That’s not the point. This is your life. It is the only life you get. Live it for yourself, not for a goal of another person.

    (Note that changing your behavior to avoid adverse consequences of that behavior isn’t the same a changing your self.)

    (Note also that “Live it for yourself” is not a license to harm or mistreat other people. Nor is is an excuse to evade your legitimate responsibilities.)

  35. ShellShockBP

    Wow, of course Joe’s dad is a bone doctor. “Okay nurse, let’s get this bone fixed up and then afterwards we can do that surgery!” *laugh track*

  36. Yarrr

    That’s cool he wants to ‘give’ orgasm, not just receive them. Joe can get it.

  37. Schpoonman

    Joe’s a machine that dispenses orgasms, and Joyce is finding herself looking for orgasms. Unless we get another incredibly drastic twist, Joe’s also proven himself a safe sexual partner, regardless of other characters’ impressions of him.

    Time to see see Joyce’s agency in becoming a sexual being run up against other characters’ perception of her agency in choosing a sexual partner.

    I’m talking shit about Dorothy right now if that wasn’t clear.

    1. vulcanodon

      Look out, the League of Joyce Managers will descend on you wagging their fingers. Can’t have Joyce just exploring things on her own because her friends gave her some space.

      1. Schpoonman

        Dorothy: “Alright, Joyce, there was a very awkward and unpleasant night where I barged into your room and stamped on a boundary you had reiterated only hours earlier that day, but we’re past that now, you have your own sexual agency.”

        “I choose to exercise my agency with Joe.”

        “No, not like that!”

  38. CJ

    Oh, Danny, you were doing so well (talking about yourself, I wonder if you know that.), but than took the worst turn.

  39. Suet

    People may change, but not Joe’s conventional attractiveness

    The Joementum is off to a great start, but not to where it goes

  40. Hazel

    Identity confusion and poor self-image? In a college-aged kid? Huh.

    Put me down as hoping that Joe develops a sudden interest in robotics.

  41. vulcanodon

    Good advice, but maybe thinking too far down the road. Just ask her out for pizza without a third wheel, spend some time together, and see how it goes.

    1. Steelbright

      This is excellent advice

  42. saltchocolate

    Brilliant writing in Joe’s final line, Willis. Slow clap. ??

  43. Kaffeeteria

    Little does he know that Julia Gray suddenly has a new hobby that includes orgasm-inducing machines.

  44. Nicoleandmaggie

    Whoa Danny has taken all of Dorothy’s good advice powers. That explains a lot!

    1. Nicoleandmaggie

      Hmm people in the comments don’t think it’s good advice? But it really is. We like the trope of women fixing men with their love but the reality doesn’t really work that way.

      And yes, you can date casually while working on yourself but Joe has not made this sound like a casual thing. He wants to change to be what she wants without being sure what she wants, not to be what he wants.

  45. AlexaSpuds

    that is horrible advice from Dan, you can know who you are and what you’re about even if you’re not sure what degree or job you want in the future, people are not defined by the piece of paper you hang on the wall at an office or at home

    1. Steve C

      I think he’s more reacting to Joe’s comment here. Saying Joe needs to figure himself out before/instead of changing for someone else IS NOT bad advice.

    2. DailyBrad

      Someone’s career can be very important to them, though, is the issue. It’s a relevant data point for a non-zero amount of people, so it’s in fact worth bringing up here for his point, that people have tons of things they consider for what makes a desirable partner.

    3. Daibhid C

      Danny doesn’t, in fact, mention Joe’s major at all. Joe brings up his major in response to what Danny’s saying, Danny says “you need to figure yourself out” partly in response to that, and partly in response to the rest of the conversation, Joe again brings it round to “what should I be studying so I make enough money to be a good boyfriend?” and Danny answers that question, then reiterates that this isn’t the main point. He’s a good egg.

      (Speaking as someone who knew exactly what I wanted to study at Joe’s age, but had not, in fact, figured myself out at all.)

    4. BBCC

      No, but in addition to that not being what Danny said – figuring out what you want to study can be an important way to figure out what you’re really interested in university.

  46. Serendipity

    Danny please drop the net worth thing you’re sounding suspiciously like one of the worse HDBs

    1. Steve C

      Some women DO consider it, although granted I don’t believe you find many who do while in college (especially not as undergrads.)

      1. Steve C

        I’m sure there are men who consider in potential partners, too. Sorry.

    2. DailyBrad

      I took that as a part of the idea of some people seeking partners they could settle down with, where what the person wants to do as a career is likely relevant to that decision-making progress. It’s not so much “gold digger” as “what kind of life can we reasonably plan for?”, which, I would not personally make a decision on who to date based on that, but many would, and do. This is especially true for someone who already has people they wish to provide for even before the subject of kids is broached, since yeah, love is great, but so is means to provide.

      Ironically, for beginning of the strip Joyce, this would have been 1,000 percent what she was looking for, a husband and provider.

  47. Chaucer59

    Sounds like a great X-Man. The perfect accompaniment to Dr. X—Dr. O.

  48. Stephen Nedland

    I’m fairly certain that is what, “Pornhub”, and “Onlyfans”, are for.

  49. HueSatLight

    They’re kind of going off on a tangent, I’m pretty sure him being undeclared freshman year isn’t going to be a dealbreaker with “Julia”. Danny brings it back home in panel 4 though, he learned the right lesson from all that.

  50. mrnoidea

    Gotta be honest, this story arc may hit too close to home for me. I relate to both Joe and Danny here. It’s true you don’t want to change yourself for someone’s sake–they may not care in the end, even if changing yourself was the right thing to do. But you still need to find value in yourself, however lonely you may be feeling atm.

    I wish there was more emphasis in mainstream media for situations where the protagonist does everything right and still fails…and life goes on anyway. Too often it feels necessary (can’t speak for everyone, only me) to overcompensate when you lose something you felt entitled to (“I thought for sure she would say yes!”), and then you decide you would rather be punished for doing something inappropriate/insensitive than to be punished for something outside of your control. In the end you spend more time untangling the bad behavior and resulting damage than doing what’s right or responsible.

    Joe may feel the need to change because he doesn’t know how to handle vulnerability and responsibility yet. And if he gets stuck in a loop worrying how he’ll fail, that further diminishes his ability to *be* vulnerable and responsible.

    1. Amós Batista

      I understood and liked your feelings about this arc. Gladly, Joe and Danny have each other (they aren’t lonely, if I got your point), and I hope they help to grow together.

  51. Rabisch

    I wonder how Sal is looking at Danny and if it’s the same for him.

  52. ElderlyMarxist

    don’t have the energy to read all the comments so maybe someone’s already said this, but joe seems to have tragically low self-esteem beneath all the bravado 🙁

    1. temperaryobsessor

      He does.
      My read.
      A good part his life he’s believed he’s not good enough to have an actual relationship. He doesn’t know how to be anything but a wannabe playboy, and he’s never really tried because he’s never thought he could.
      I think thats part of why he likes Joyce, because she see’s something in him besides that.
      The thing is he needs to want it for him not for her (except not wanting to hurt her) or he risks ending up like his dad.

  53. Axel

    this is super adorable dramatic irony

  54. shork

    idk if Woody Guthrie would approve of my “this machine induces orgasms” guitar sticker

    1. Felian

      the agenda:
      kill fascists
      induce orgasms

      (i hope these are not related)

  55. Diana Nock

    Looking forward to the upcoming love triangle between Joyce, Joe, and an imbalanced washing machine.

  56. ian livs

    Oof, as usual, this is weirdly well-timed. (The “people change” bit, not the machine bit.)

  57. Felian

    That is actually good advice from Danny!

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