177

Briscoe

177 thoughts on “Briscoe

  1. coming soon: the Adventures of Briscoe County, Jr.Quad

    1. also an advantage of atheism

      services held at “whenever the fuck I feel like getting up”

      (also, no mandatory services)

      1. Atheism: at least we get to sleep in on Sundays.

        1. Not if you’re an idiot who works in the restaurant industry, you don’t. At least I work at 8 instead of 7 like my other 4 days.

        2. nah, when I worked in the restaurant industry I didn’t get up until noon

          of course that also meant I was working until 2 or 3

        3. You only work 5 days? Proper burgeoisie, that is. :p

        4. A little, honestly. It helps that I am quite good at my job and I maintain all the filters that I leave at the door when I hop on this website.

          But yeah, I do recognize that I’m lucky to be where I am. Had a really really really bad kitchen manager this year who almost got me to quit and I don’t think I’ll ever have a job this good again.

        5. Not when there’s a dinosaur game to be made :p

        6. I hold that sleeping late is a perfectly valid way of worshipping.

        7. Not when your mothers dogs insist on being fed at stupid o’clock.

        8. It’s my cats who would start a riot if not fed at 3am. Once they get used to it, they never forget a feeding time.

          Asphalt life.

        9. Just do the tennis ball trick but with their food. Act like you’re pouring it but secretly have the bag where it’s already been the entire time, and then act like the dog is just being dumb for not noticing the food you definitely poured.

        10. We free feed our pets. so as long as there is food in their bowls, all is good.

        11. Decidedly Orthogonal

          “At least”?!? Dude, that’s one of many, mamy, benefits. Support charity of choice, no mandatory tithing, no paedo-priests, no fake-nice social posturing, no hell-fire or eternal damnation, no worrying about picking the wrong side, no proselytizing, no mandatory hate, AND we can still celebrate holidays BUT we get to pick and chose all our favourites and only do the parts we like.

          It’s like winning at the sport of winning.

        12. Decidedly Orthogonal

          No spell check if we don’t feel like it… ?

      2. Give freely of your time and time you shall not have. Take gladly of your bed, and bed you shall be glad of.

        Furie – 3:16

    2. i loved that show!

      1. Just here today to follow the Briscoe County Jr. thread. How has Fox started and killed so very many great shows? They even tried – earnestly – to kill the Xfiles. Thanks be that they failed.

        Pity that not only can chins not talk, they can’t murder t.v. execs either. ?

    3. It is worth noting, for those unaware, that Briscoe is one of the furthest dorms away from Read on the campus, with, to my knowledge, the new Persimmon dorms being the only ones further. Read is toward the southern extreme of the campus, and Briscoe is on the northern extreme, so he’s basically telling her to commute all the way across campus in the snow while wearing that dress, lol. The buses are almost certainly not running at that time, and even if they were I don’t believe there is a direct line from Read to Briscoe, so there’d be significant walking and/or standing at bus stops regardless. I don’t expect her to drive there, and I don’t expect her to have much luck getting an Uber at that time in that weather. Walky basically picked the single least convenient place to send her without being too implausible, and I’m here for it!

      We’re talking around a half hour’s walk under GOOD walking conditions, with snow it’s likely closer to an hour or more.

      1. She’s got a corporate Zoomr (not to be confused with Zoomer) account, probably can get one on-demand.

  2. Carla (24 hours later, checking map): I knew I should have made that left turn at Albuquerque.

    1. This made me smile. Thank you.

    2. “Hoboken!? Oooohh, I’m dying again!”

    3. Careful. David Zaslav might come in here and delete that comment for a tax break.

      1. Ouch. True, but ouch.

    4. Carla *does* have strong Bugs Bunny energy.

    5. Carlamari dama-cy-y-y-y-y

      –Dave, avoiding bringing the naruto references in

  3. I sure hope he ain’t really earnest about going to Church.

    Because if he does go AND what he said to Carla turns out to be a lie, he’s gonna have TWO things to bite him today O_O

    1. yeah watch it turn out that he’s right lol

      except she’s literally never there double lol?

      1. That would be hilarious

      2. Jennifer would be mad he was right, so appropriate gravatar is appropriate.

    2. well it was his idea, tho i can imagine him telling lucy “hey let’s just skip today and just chill” unless lucy is super serious about not skipping

    3. Jesus is going to return, to bite Walky for what he did to Carla. What’s the second one?

  4. Walky is going to wake up tomorrow in the Amazon, right?

    1. DoA is a more realistic webcomic than Shortpacked, so Walky is going to wake up in the nearest Amazon Fulfillment Center.

      All fun and games until he asks where the bathroom is and starts a riot.

      1. Oh, that would be deliciously meta.

        1. No Facebook’s crimes against humanity are different

        2. And innumerable to boot.

      2. He’ll be tied up in a shipping crate on its way to Abu Dhabi.

    2. By drone instead of a flying car, but yes.

  5. As someone who knows next-to-nothing about IU beyond what comes up in this comic I have absolutely no idea if Briscoe Quad is even a real thing.

    1. Google returns a real place. I remember Willis at one point saying that he had to change some dialogue because he was about to drop an actual room number where a real person probably lived and even though it would have been completely incidental he still felt weird about it.

      1. Sal’s room, iirc. She said it was in the student directory, instead of just saying her room number like a normal person. In the alt-text, Willis knew it was kinda clunky, but didn’t want to specify somebody’s actual room.

        Why do I remember these things, I don’t even remember some of the places I’ve lived.

        1. He could have simply used a nonexistent room number? Like “430” on a floor where the room numbers only go up to 425, or some such?

        2. And risk someone noticing that he wasn’t referencing a real place? I bet that’s a big no-no!

        3. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          Or room 555.

        4. Decidedly Orthogonal

          You can’t use the exchange. That’s the street number. 1212 is the room number.

        5. Decidedly Orthogonal

          p.s. It’s a party line.

        6. Not Room 222?

        7. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          This strip *would* be improved by more Karen Valentine, yes.

        8. Donkey is old enough to both recognize and approve of this sentiment.
          Two hooves up.

        9. Welp, earwormed by the theme song now

          AGAIN

        10. I remember insane details like that sometimes.

          Did you know the only blindspot on an Andalite is directly on top of their head between their eyestalks?

        11. ive learned a new animorphs fact?? u made my day

        12. Normally I’m all for works being in their original format, because I hate that it takes getting a movie/TV series to “legitimize” it, but that is a series that needs a goddamn revival and full series adaptation. Get KA Applegate on the writing staff (no ghost writing the finale, come on), throw a million billion dollars at it, and bring back one of the best “kids in a warzone” trauma-fest that’s ever been put to paper.

  6. crossing my fingers walky magically guessed it right, cause how perfect would that be??

    1. and then he’s all like “oops I accidentally did Carla a solid, nothing now but arch her I guess”

      (“Can you arch someone with nachitos?” “First we gotta figure out how to make Night Guy into a supervillain”)

      1. What’s arch? Google doesn’t help.

        1. Until proven otherwise, I am going to assume it is the present-tense verb for firing an arrow. Thus making an archer “one who arches.”

        2. To arch-enemy a superhero. I finally watched The Venture Brothers movie tonight. xD

        3. verbing weirds language

    2. well, 50/50 on it working out but also amusing if the ppl that were getting ready for the morning all fawned over carla anyways or so, but is a chance to introduce potentially new/more charas

  7. I feel like Walky just made a powerful enemy. Their battle will be legendary.

    1. Poor Walky, caught in between Carla and Booster’s drama.

  8. I feel your pain Walky; I remember being forced to go to church, and hating it. Fortunately I haven’t been in a church in over a decade.

    1. I just went for the first time in decade a few weeks ago… for a funeral, and it was such a strange experience

    2. Perhaps at least he can have some amusing *discourse* with the Pastor there?

      Life give you lemons, make lemonade.

      1. Upgrade your lemons to lime.

        1. Then put it in the coconut.

        2. And shake it all up! :p

    3. considering he turned back around i hope he would be heading to the showers first rather than going under dressed lol if not lucy dressing hjim up again

    4. He’s not being forced to go though. Makes a difference.
      I volunteered to keep my girlfriend company a few times in college. It certainly didn’t inspire a conversion or any need to regularly, but it wasn’t a horrible experience.
      Would have hated being forced to go every week, but as an occasional thing it wasn’t that bad.

  9. Try to not fall asleep during the service. Well, I hope you don’t snore.

  10. Look at the bright side, Walky. Lots of churches have coffee, which implies coffee.

    … served AFTER the service. Huh.

    … do they WANT people to sleep through the sermon? I don’t think they want people to sleep through the sermon, but it almost sounds like they want people to sleep through the sermon.

    1. *lots of churches have coffee HOUR, which implies coffee. Durp.

    2. rather have people falling asleep during the sermon than leaving to pee during the sermon I suppose?

    3. Back when I still let my mom try to indoctrinate me there was a break between “Sunday School” and the main service where people would get coffee in the church kitchen.

    4. Meh. I don’t drink coffee to wake up. If I need something to perk me up that means I should still be asleep.

    5. “Well, I seem to have lost my place… so I’ll start over.”
      “Aw, for the love of crumb cake!”

    6. I’ve admittedly only gone to church, like, a dozen times in my lifetime, but based on my limited experience, I’d say it’s because churches are more about community than anything else, so encouraging people to stick around and chat after the service is more important than keeping people awake during the service. People who really really want to pay attention to the service will find ways to do that on their own, and those who don’t can just soak up the good vibes at first and then wake up all the way afterwards with the help of coffee, snacks, and gossip.

  11. Walky get’s up at an ungodly hour to go to church. The irony is lost on his sleep deficient neurons.

    1. wouldn’t every hour be considered godly to those who believe? 8D; that said, i’m sure some preiests are busy in their day to day lives but i wouldn’t be surprised if there was some 24 hour church or a place that holds sermons every say, 3 hours bc even on sundays there might be ppl working and woudln’t have time even if htey wanted to /want a 9-10 pm service

  12. Does Charlie even go to this school or was she visiting BOOSTER?

    Mike’s ghost might know.

    1. She does have the same gender studies class as Carla, Jennifer, Ruth, and Becky so I hope she goes to this school.

    2. she’s enrolled in a class so probably

  13. In Earnest? I thought you were in [blank]

    I thought you were in [blank]

    (Match Gamr music, sounds of CNR using a marker)

    1. Has Walky finally realized The Importance Of Being Earnest?

      1. that’s pretty wilde

    2. He won the Tour de France with two flat tires and a missing chain.

  14. What church they going too that starts that early? He and Lucy gonna help with setup or something?

    1. Plot twist: it’s 10am, Walky and Booster just sleep in.

    2. I think some places have an 8am service, which would mean getting up at 7. That’s pretty early for a college student, who likely stays up late.

    3. It’s winter in Indiana. Sunrise isn’t until something like 8 AM. If services start at 9 and he plans to shower and dress up and then walk to Lucy’s place first and then have some breakfast with her then, yeah, he probably needs to be up before the sun.

      1. Ah. You can’t convince me he’s acting this tired and it’s after 7am, let alone after 8am which isn’t even early. He had to go to school before right. I know college typically lets you set your own schedule but morning classes still exist and even Booster is acting like this is some unreasonably early hour.

        1. It’s a sunday… to most students, 11am on a sunday is too early! Got to catch up on all the sleep they lost because of staying up late while having morning classes the next day!

        2. Our best guess for the current date is January 23. Sunrise on that date in Bloomington Indiana is 7:59am. And it looked an awful lot like sunrise in the first panel 4 strips ago: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2023/comic/book-14/02-its-the-love-i-havent-got/knockknockknockknockknockknock/

          (Sunset is 5:56pm, if you’re curious)

    4. Most churches I went to growing up had 7 am or 8 am services, and every once in a blue moon when my mom would randomly decide we were doing church again, it was always the earliest service possible. I wasn’t very fond of waking up at the crack of dawn when it was still dark out (because we’d have to drive 30-40 minutes in Houston traffic) to go to this random church only to be told that I was going to hell for listening to Katy Perry in passing while on the bus. Especially since they used to just promise me play-dough time while they rambled on about Jesus.

      Inevitably what would happen was my mom would eventually leave the decision of if we went to church up to me and the answer became always “Nnnoooo, I prefer sleep.” I didn’t even know Protestant churches did communion until I was 25 despite having been a Christian until 23.

      Basically, early morning services suck.

  15. Joyce and Billie
    Takes place after that one comic strip about wanting to crawl in her shirt and be safe and warm forever.

    1. Son.

      1. Do you still not take commissions? That gif deserves more frames.

        1. I can’t say I DON’T take commissions. I’m just VERY selective.

        2. So I just took another look and a few things I noticed after just reading dialogue and bluescreening like Joyce. All the unsound effects (“anime bounce”, incredible) and the title of the tab (billie_bounce.gif). Doing god’s work and I hope whatever commissions you do take pay like a muddytrucker.

        3. There’s a very specific sound I imagined that bounce making and I couldn’t think of any other way to put it than “anime bounce”
          Like that deep bassy timpany drum sound.

        4. Heh, like Jennifer is just a walking One Piece episode.

    2. ??? I have no words. Magnificent work, Porn Lord Yoto.

    3. I believe somewhere on this server there’s already a file called yotomoe-billieboobsjoyce.png

    4. So like tomorrow your gonna animate some motorboarding right i mean that is clearly a given

    5. to be fair a nice hug with soft boobs can be comforting in a non sexual way too

      https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1871 being a powerful narcotic 8D;

      But woo

      1. There are over 5000 strips in that webcomic, and yet I know exactly which one that link goes to just from the words “powerful narcotic”.

        Sometimes, *sometimes*, I like my brain.

    6. I’d say the literal descriptor anime bounce is too brazen, but it’s exactly what Billie is going for.

    7. On the one hand it was a matter of time before Yoto animated Billie’s boobees.

      On the othee hand, ?????

  16. If Walky and I are anything alike (we are), the extra 5-10 minutes awake before his alarm will actually help a lot getting read.

    1. lol i could never do snoozing, mainly b/ci have a hard time faling back asleep but i’d worry about oversleeping too, but too bad we can’t automagically get ready, like the shower having a machine that’d also brush your teeth and change you too, but it’ll prolly wake him up if they have to walk to church aso pposed to getitng a ride

  17. If Walky is wrong Carla’s vengeance shall be elaborate, oh who are we kidding it’s going to be a pie to the face

    1. But the build-up.

    2. i mean even if she did live in that quad doesn’t mean she’d leave her dorm at that time

      or carla would be too busy ‘peacocking’ to not notice charlie in a crowd if she passed yb

  18. Uh huh. Sorry, Walky, you said you wanted to go.

    1. To me it kind of read like one of those offers you were expecting them to decline but they didn’t and you instant regret it.

      1. I can’t imagine even Walky at his most oblivious expecting Lucy to decline that.

      2. I’m guessing that they wrote off the experience at the game as too awful to qualify as a date, and Lucy is now eagerly waiting to count Attending Church Together as Third Date.

    2. I have to admit that I was not prepped for a “Walky vs Religion” arc. We have so many Joyce vs. Religion arcs, I forget other characters actually might/will have direct religion arcs, too.

      1. I’m kinda looking forward to the inevitable Walky v Joyce confrontation when she finds out.

    3. well, it’s the obligation on top of being woken up even earlier b/c of carlas antics

  19. i can’t believe i’m saying this

    but fuck yeah, walky

  20. Well done Walky (credit where credits due)

  21. I’ve never loved Walky as much as I do right now.

  22. On one hand, Carla does prank people. On the other hand, Carla pranks people back.

    Briscoe is like the furthest away. It’s snowing. Carla’s excited in the butterflies in stomach way, and made herself emotionally vulnerable. He’s going to deserve it.

    1. Hey, maybe Charlie does live in Briscoe. It’s possible

      1. i don’t know if booster would’ve told him or an educated guess but if he does know i imagine he would’ve said something diff /something he knows booster hasn’t brought up but i’d hope carla would have teh sense to bring a jacket with her

        1. Prior Semblance

          Panel 2 makes it pretty clear he doesn’t know

      2. IU only has so many residence halls, Charlie doesn’t live in Read, and at least one must be only for graduate students. That only leaves so many possibilities.

        1. Grad students tend not to live in residence halls, or at least not at any school I’ve attended. They get apartments off campus. Maybe in a university owned building, but full apartments nonetheless.

        2. In real life, about 14 that aren’t apartments.

    2. She should tell him that she offered to give Booster an x-box, and they turned it down. At a bare minimum.

      1. If Walky had known there was a potential X-box involved, he would have woken Booster back up and demanded he answer Carla’s question.

    3. No Walky doesn’t deserve any payback, you don’t turn up at someone’s room at zero dark hours and start making demands

      Fuck that

      Carla got what she deserved

    4. Nah, he doesn’t. Carla’s being annoying, and I can see her telling a similar lie to someone just for shits and giggles.

    5. Yeah, there’s a slight gap between “was slightly annoying first thing in the morning” and “gave me bad directions, causing me to walk outside in the cold for too long”. She’ll wanna bridge that gap for sure.

      1. She barged in someone sleeping peacefully and demanded attention. Anything that happens to her from now on is on her XD

        1. That’s not the point. It does matter what’s on who.

        2. Doesn’t matter, rather. Thanks, phone.

      2. It wasn’t like he gave her vague directions that caused her to wander around unnecessarily. He just sent her to the wrong location. Presumably she knows how to get there, or can find out.

        1. I’m not interested in negotiating at this moment in time.

  23. The dealbreaker in this relationship is gonna be not believing in God, not the racism.

    1. i mean, i think lucy already knows walky isn’t hte ‘churchgoing’ type, unless he decides to be a snarky asshole to the pastor/all her church friends or so (but i mean she gets along with becky well enough, tho becky does believe so any jokes she made wouldn’t have any barbs to them as opposed to anything ‘blasphemous’ walky might say)

      1. Lucy thinks she can forcechange anyone.

  24. Predictions: Charlie DOES live in Briscoe. Walky tired and probably heard it before and forgot.

    1. 2nd Prediction: this “date” is a disaster for multiple reasons, some as of yet unknown.
      Walky is tired and frustrated and will say something insensitive. which will remind Lucy of Linda.

      The next reason is Lucy is lying about her feelings. She’s exaggerating them due to wanting a perfect social boyfriend. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was bi or a lesbian. Shes so caught up in her idealism she she isn’t paying attention to her inner feelings.
      Her inner feelings say “don’t bang Walky”. That is why she has been pushing them to have sex and inventing excuses after excuses NOT to do it.

      Walky has also been going along for the ride because they are good friends and he thinks it’s enough they are compatible and like each other. He’s wrong. You need a spark. There is none here.
      Worse, Walky was given the worse advice to bury his feelings by his ex. He had a chance to be honest and fix things even if it was embarrassing.

      3rd Prediction: there ain’t no slipshine here.

      Lucy is Leading Walky on. To Nowhere. Linda has spoiled their fake relationship because

      1. If anybody is leading someone on in this relationship, I’d be really hard-pressed to say it was Lucy. She’s basically carrying this entire relationship. Walky is as emotionally available to her as a brick. The sermon might put the entire sleeping with each other conversation to bed permanently though. Or it might be mildly alarming in some form or fashion and Walky might nope out which might lead to their first actual fight which would be good for them.

    2. If Walky’s right, it’s just going to make him a “reliable source” for Carla to pester whenever she needs social information about the freshman class.

      Walky doesn’t know, but his flippant guesses are always correct. Carla pesters him even more.

      It’s his blessing, and his curse.

  25. 3ed prediction: no sex, breakup city. Walky wants to get laid. Lucy doesn’t and has been leading him on. Lucy wants to be liked. Lucy craves conformist approval she didn’t get in highschool. Lucy wants Linda to approve of her or she’s invalidated as Walkys girlfriend. she needs ALL his friends to accept her. EVERYONE must like her or it attacks her purpose of enacting a het cis girlfriend. She’s a social climber doing it for approval. If only her own approval.

    I don’t even think she remembers that she told Walky she wanted sex. Maybe she did before. Before her Brother. Before Raidah. Before Sarah. Before Linda. now that’s way, way on the back burner.

    ( Going to be astonished if they actually bang. If they do, still breakup city )
    I don’t think Walky was too horny before Lucy was outed as liking him and considering being with him a date. But she put it in his head and yanked it away a bunch of times. Walky actually thinks Lucy wants him physically. And he’s going to feel rejected when she has some specious reason for not wanting him. ( All her specific reasons for offering sex but delaying were related to arbitrary social approval.

    Nobody NEEDS a reason for wanting or not wanting to have sex at any time.
    Or not being ready. Walky hasn’t even pressured her. It’s more of issue of leading some on in false pretenses. Maybe she doesn’t want walky as a bf. But she’s attracted to the idea of the idea. Like a comic book. It’s a new thing. She saw a boy she liked. 4 months ago
    Went after him. Never told him. Friend zoned herself on purpose, because she’s passive ( she could have dated him passionately last September. Her feelings cooled off. But now she likes a dog that caught the car. Walky thinks he’s taking it slow so his feelings catch up to here. And she’s played up hers.
    But I think the passion already cooled and what’s left is social approval of having a boyfriend to show off that she earned. For many people that isn’t enough. But for Lucy who feels marginalized as a geek, and is a nascent social climber, it’s everything.

    1. Those are some red-hot takes you’ve got there if you think *Lucy* is the one who doesn’t want sex and is leading *Walky* on.

      1. If anything Lucy is pressuring Walky into sex. She went nuclear on Danny trying to achieve her self-imposed third date rule so they could bang. And then when that plan didn’t work, Walky didn’t seem particularly bothered about it.

    2. If Lucy doesn’t remember she told Walky she wanted sex, then I’m concerned about her short term memory, since the most recent time of the many, many occasions she’s said it was the last time we saw her, which was less than twelve hours ago.

    3. Wow.
      Someone’s been reading a different comic than me

      1. Right? These are like hot takes from a completely parallel universe a couple thousand steps down the long earth.

        1. That’s a great series.

  26. Early to bed, early to rise, makes Ultra Car-haters meet their demise.

    Briscoe looks nice.

  27. Genuinely surprised Walky is bothering going to church but maybe he feels like he has to make up for his parents.
    Is he christian-by-default like a lot of people who were raised into it but don’t seem to bother caring one way or the other?

    1. I mean I’m sure he’s only bothering because he told Lucy he would to make up for the debacle with his parents the day before.

      1. So it really doesn’t seem like Wally’s parents will approve of Walky going to church. They are going to dislike Lucy even more. Especially if his grandma is a different kind of Christian than Lucy is.

  28. Walky, one day you will thank Carla for this.

    ( maybe charlie does live in briscoe )

  29. If Charlie doesn’t live in Briscoe, I sense a pie in his future

    1. It*. Briscoe is a building.

      1. Sorry, that thought was open to different readings. “his” refers to Walky. If Carla goes over to Briscoe and Charlie doesn’t live there, Walky has a pie in his future.

  30. It’a amazing the lies a man will tell himself and others to either get sleep or sex.

  31. Walky is definitely Charles son. He will do as his woman tells him even if it makes no sense to him.

  32. I don’t think Walky realizes, if Charlie is not in Briscoe, he will have made a very creative enemy

  33. Betcha Charlie does, in fact, live in Briscoe Quad.

    1. Or she crosses paths with Carla and fails to notice her again.

  34. I really don’t understand this casual and petty evil…
    Not being able to tell people that you don’t know/don’t care but preferring to lie to them instead ?
    Walky had some unlikable traits but there he shown that he actually doesn’t have any redeemable ones…

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