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Derelict
Posted on March 6, 2013 by David M Willis
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155 thoughts on “Derelict”

  1. Jen Aside

    “I’d better check this shit out!”

    *rimshot*

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      =1 for pun!

    2. JebJeb

      …I read that last part as a completely different word. I’m a sick, sick man.

    3. agentksilver

      She has to do her doody.

    4. Wonder Wig

      Rim shots usually just makes messes.

      1. TheGrumpyBear

        Rimjobs are usually just messy.

  2. NCP19

    “Derelict in my duties…” I feel there’s some kind of pun in there…but I just can’t squeeze it out…

    Crap, I’ll try again later.

    1. Jen Aside

      You should see a doctor about that.

      A proctologist.

    2. Wonder Wig

      Don’t worry. Wee all have problems figuring out puns sometimes.

    3. Yotomoe

      It was Mike’s Duty to derelick your mom for a nickel.

      1. nimoy

        Anyone else think of Zoolander?
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPnO_JaJFn0

        1. ijanisch

          I totally thought of Zoolander.

    4. Rex Hondo

      If derelicking their doodys in there, I really don’t want to know about it.

    5. Robert

      I’m sure you’ll pull the answer out of your ass later.

      1. Jackson

        No “butts” about it!

        …Geez, Jackson, way to go for the low-hanging fruit.

        1. DEG1377

          Ha. Low-hanging fruit.

          They’re going to the GIRL’S restroom, Jackson.

        2. madd

          Berries are considered fruit.

        3. N0083rP00F

          In the immortal words of Mr Turner … “Dinkleberg!!” D=

  3. Khantalas

    Dina, it’s not something you are obliged to do. You don’t need to follow them to the bathroom, especially in this situation.

    1. Yotomoe

      She can’t hear you through the panels. You’re going to have to break through the 4th wall.

      1. AckAckAck

        And if you able to break the 4th wall I don’t think you can warn her as you’re too busy hugging her.

    2. Undrave

      It’s not like they’ll notice her anyway.

  4. Aizat

    Wait, girls use bathrooms as place to open up? Huh, I’m learning something new everyday.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Toilets are a great place for dealing with your shit, dontcha know.

      1. Aizat

        Literally and figuratively….clever girls.

    2. Rex Hondo

      Sometimes they have to go somewhere private and just let it all out.

      1. AckAckAck

        ALL of it?

  5. David Herbert

    Oh God, Dina’s going to be the one who reveals Ethan’s gay. “He didn’t look at your posteriors as you left the table, but did show interest in Walky’s.”

    1. Aizat

      Wait, you’re saying that Dina is The World’s Greatest Detective?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Like Sherlock Holmes but with better ninja skills and less cocaine usage.

        1. David Herbert

          And dinosaurs.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          But doesn’t Batman have a T-Rex in his batcave??

        3. timemonkey

          Dina snuck in and glued feathers all over it.

        4. Jackson

          According to Doctor Who, the real Sherlock Holmes was a dinosaur. Kind of. She was a Silurian, who I think were an offshoot from dinosaurs. But yeah, she and her wife were the real Holmes and Watson.

        5. Doctor_Who

          Any time someone asks what I see in that show, I point out “Sherlock Holmes turns out to be a lesbian lizard woman from the dawn of time, who hangs out with an outer-space Mr. Potato Head clone and helped rescue a woman from headless monks.”

        6. MichaelHaneline

          AND she helped convince the Doctor to save the world from carnivorous snow.

        7. AckAckAck

          Dina and the Dinosaurs.

          Man, that will be a totally awesome spin off. While Holmes had street urchins helping his investigations Dina can simply command an army of dinosaurs to storm the baddie’s base and flatten it to the ground.

        8. Yotomoe

          Or Batman with living parents and a dinosaur theme.

        9. Alex

          That would be a way better comic series.

        10. Andiemus

          Until frank miller gets his hands on it and the t-Rex turns into a hooker and batman sleeps with it.

        11. AckAckAck

          No no nononononono DON’T! I don’t want to see Frank Miller turn Dina into a hooker.

        12. Yarrr

          Instead of the batmobile, Batman rides to the rescue on a dinosaur. A mechanical dinosaur.

        13. N0083rP00F

          Not mechanical but it would be armed with Lasers and other super size utility items just like in
          Dinoriders

        14. Jason

          Sounds a lot like Axe Cop actually.

      2. Roborat

        Well, she is a certified love detective.

    2. Brian Lynch

      I don’t think she has to be a detective. Just, you know, hear Amber talk about it once or twice.

      1. Wouldcanoe

        read “Axe Cop” http://axecop.com/index.php/achome/index/

  6. Doctor_Who

    “I must go…my gender needs me!”

    1. David Herbert

      I hope Dina doesn’t die on the way to the bathroom.

      1. Aizat

        Dude, it’s Dina. She’s not freaking Cy-Kill or Kenny.

      2. timemonkey

        Nah, she’ll just get locked in a stall as someone lights a match at the worst possible time. “I-I’m sorry. This was the best I could poo.” *BOOM*

        1. thatgirlwiththeglasses

          I probably should not be laughing at that but I just can’t stop… xD

        2. Doctor_Who

          You are a terrible person and also that was well played.

        3. Kernanator

          I can’t stop laughing at this. Does this make me a horrible person?

        4. Originalslugboy

          Is there a… [checks clipboard] “Tim E. Monkey” here? I’m here to deliver all the internets.

        5. AckAckAck

          I don’t laugh but I say that’s a good one. I remember reading Walky and Joyce (yeah, I’m a new reader, I don’t even read Walky-Joyce wedding) and feel like Dina’s death is the saddest one. She like a lost girl in that timeline, hoping for someone that actually care amongst the superpowered kids in the facility.

          I like this Dina, she finally live among people with close or equal power levels. She no longer feel small amongst the superpowered kids.

    2. Aizat

      You are a credit to your gender, son.

  7. ReFlex76

    We get closer and closer to the Dorothy/Walky/Joyce threesome.

    1. timemonkey

      If Dina stands behind the door does it count as a foursome?

      1. AckAckAck

        What if Dina has a penis?

  8. jiynx

    it’s remarkably amusing to watch the sheltered deal with the infamously overblown PEER PRESSURE.

  9. Wonder Wig

    Literally, they converge at the watering holes.

    1. Aizat

      Which brings yesterday’s comment about Dina being David Attenborough much more fitting.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        This commet makes me happy for some unexplained reason.

        1. MerlinHurricane

          …I bet it could be explained in a soothing British voice.

  10. Steve

    And why aren’t the ones who know Ethan is gay upset at his abusing Joyce’s naivete? It’s rough that being honest about his gayhood hasn’t given Ethan the life he wanted (or any life) but that doesn’t give him the right to use and abuse Joyce’s emotions this way.

    1. Shade

      Amber doesn’t know he’s dating Joyce. Mike wouldn’t care if he did, he’d just let it go till the perfect moment.

      1. Blue

        If the Twitter accounts are canon, than he actually has tried to tell Joyce this.

    2. LS

      While I agree, my impression is that Ethan is lying to himself as much as he’s lying to Joyce. He thinks he can make this work. He’s wrong, but it’s the kind of mistake a lot of people make when they’re young.

      Though it’s not really relevant, because in this strip he’s being Good Guy Ethan.

      1. timemonkey

        Good Guy Ethan? Or Gets Rid Of All Girls So He Can Secretly Make Out With Walky Ethan?

        1. Yotomoe

          Those are one and the same.

        2. timemonkey

          “Oh God, he tastes like caramels!”

        3. N0083rP00F

          No No No … You got it ALL wrong … It is …

          “Oh! MY! God! He might look and smell like Caramel but tastes like a blend of McNugget BBQ and Cheese Poopers!!”

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      If Ethan knows that Joyce will be nothing more than a beard for him, then it’s really is a sucky thing to do, but if he has deluded himself into thinking that if “I act straight long enough, I might end up becoming straight for real”, Joyce might actually go along with it as she will see it as a soul-saving project/Pygmalion-like relationship thingy.

      1. Rex Hondo

        Maybe it’s just me, but that seems like an awful lot of trouble to go to just to keep from feeling guilty about eating at Chik-Fil-A.

        1. Numan

          Or he genuinely dislikes his sexuality.

        2. Yotomoe

          Clearly you haven’t had their nuggets.

        3. Rex Hondo

          Sure I have, but even aside from the moral implications, Chik-Fil-A is obsolete so long as there’s a Popeye’s within easy driving distance.

        4. timemonkey

          It’s more than the Chik-Fil-A, apparently in this continuity Ethan’s coming out went very badly and basically all he had was Amber and sorta Mike. Now Amber wanted some space leaving him only Mike. So, he’s lonely, depressed, and has lost everything over one little thing so he’s trying to ignore that little thing so he can be happy again. So far it’s sorta worked, his social circle has expanded, Joyce is nice, likes him, and doesn’t want sex in the foreseeable future.

          Granted this will all blow up eventually and it’ll be bad. Depenidng on how badly the truth hurts Joyce it coudl pretty much nuke Ethan’s social life since pretty much everyone in the comic their age more or less likes Joyce.

        5. Andiemus

          I still don’t like him at all in this. I keep waiting for Mike to show up and swat him in the back of the head and say “what the hell are you doing?” I understand he feels conflicted, but there’s no way he actually thinks he can turn straight. He’s already acknowledged he’s gay!

        6. timemonkey

          I think Mike is hoping the stupid will sink in and he’ll end it himself without Mike having to get involved. Or he’s waiting for Amber to find out and go nuklear.

        7. begbert2

          Mike started this. Deliberately and with malice aforethought. He literally engineered the idea and carefully planted it in Ethan’s head. Mike may be planning to call Ethan out, but it’s not going to be “what the hell are you doing?”. If Mike bothers to get involved, it will be with a nuclearly-worded comment that will torpedo Ethan’s life for the forseeable future.

        8. Andiemus

          Did he? I missed the part where he advised Ethan to get himself a beard.

        9. TPman

          I always read it as Mike trying to force Ethan into an epiphany when, in a 1000 to 1 chance Joyce showed up and gave Ethan an out.

        10. Greenygal

          I’m never entirely sure what’s going on in that strip. Because on the one hand sarcastically agreeing with you to make the point that you’re stupid is classic Mike, but he’s usually much more obvious about it than “you’d be living a lie, but at least you wouldn’t be miserable and alone.” I can’t blame Ethan for taking that at face value.

        11. Andiemus

          I read that as Mike snarling to show that Ethan’s being a moron. He didn’t realize that Ethan is also being a horrible person.

    4. Yotomoe

      I think the only person in the comic who knows is Mike, who won’t interfere, (at least not right now) until Ethan REALLY digs himself into a hole that he can’t escape from.

      1. SUGauthor

        Sarah knows too, and the second Joyce opens up to her about how great Ethan is she will most definitely intervene.

        1. Greenygal

          Yeah, I suspect Sarah’s being purposely kept away from the situation so it has time to develop. She and Joyce haven’t interacted onscreen about anything but bathroom issues for several months; she probably doesn’t realize Joyce has advanced from “watching cartoons” to “whirlwind soulmate romance”.

        2. Andiemus

          Here’s hoping she “intervenes” with a pimp slap from hell.

    5. clodia

      Dude, Mike’s clearly not okay with this. He keeps bringing up the topic whenever he’s around the two of them.

      The only person who clearly knows and is keeping their mouth shut is Sarah, and we already know her plan of non-interference. She’s made subtle comments, at the very least.

      1. Andiemus

        Though she should know that subtle doesn’t work with Joyce.

  11. fellixe

    Heh-heh. She said “duties”.

  12. Barabajagal

    Obligatory ‘I love Dina’ statement.

  13. Tomb

    This will be akward for Amber later.

  14. Vincent

    Is it too early to assume Friday will be have a dramatic cliffhanger regarding Joyce’s confused feelings about sex?

    1. AckAckAck

      Like I said before, the cliffhanger will be Ethan literally hanging on a cliff to avoid rampaging Joyce.

      1. TPman

        The punchline will revolve around Ethan’s realization that his predicament is a cliffhanger on two levels.

    2. Josh

      If the last few weeks have taught me anything, it’s that there will be lesbians.

      1. Undrave

        Dina arrives to the bathroom to find Joyce and Dorothy apparently kissing passionately!

  15. Jackie

    I bet it’s because of the acoustics…

    1. Yotomoe

      I’m just imagining them knocking on walls so that they can make sure their voices resonate when they talk it out.

  16. Numan

    I hope Dotty doesn’t slip on the floor.

  17. Somebody

    I’m surprised that she doesn’t need to pee yet.

  18. Sporky

    I like how seriously Dina takes social interaction. It makes sense for someone who’s just beginning to realize how unsocialized they are to act that way.

    1. Yotomoe

      It’s like she’s studying for a class that she is not doing well in.

      1. Ancestral Hamster

        She should make flash cards.

    2. Alyssa

      Apparently I am Dina. I never knew that either.

      1. Alyssa

        However, it seems that the universe prefers I be Dotty.

  19. timemonkey

    Seriously, Dina, this transgresion is unforgivable. As pennance you need to follow Amber into the bathroom everytime until you graduate. EVERYTIME!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      But how will Amber be able to transform into Amazi-Girl without Dina noticing?

      1. Yotomoe

        Simple. By adopting Dina as her young ward. DINO-girl.

      2. timemonkey

        By not changing in bathrooms? A good way to avoid getting poo on your cape.

        1. Rex Hondo

          But without the poo, it’s not nearly as effective a deterrent to grapplers.

        2. AckAckAck

          NO CAPE!

      3. gangler

        I imagine it at some point coming up that Dina’s always known who Amazigirl is, but nobody ever asked her.

  20. Kernanator

    Dina observes the wild Joyce in its natural habitat.

    1. Yotomoe

      A feral Dorothy gives chase, an odd gesture as she is of the genus Athiesa while the Joyce falls into the genus Devoutus.

  21. ridtom

    I feel bad for waiting for Dina to explode. I don’t know how and I don’t know why but I expect to just suddenly explode in every panel she’s in.

    1. timemonkey

      Well, if she’s ever in a car with Ruth and there’s nobody else around I think we all know what’ll happen.

      1. LS

        Plot twist: the first characters to die in this continuity will be Joyce and Walky.

      2. desolation0

        So there is going to be more romance between females then? I guess bones don’t have to be the only thing Dina digs.

        1. begbert2

          This is a Willis comic; every character is presumed to be gay until they are shown to be bi.

        2. Heavensrun

          We’re clearly heading towards a Joyce/Dorothy kiss for the Friday cliffhanger.

    2. Yotomoe

      Just cuz it was all she could do doesn’t mean it’s all she can do.

  22. PainfulBuggery

    A public masturbation discovery and shame plot line? [Revving Intensifies]

  23. arjay2813

    i just envisioned her as like a paladin of womanhood when she said the ‘derelict in her duties’ line, but riding a dinosaur (Turok style, yes)

    1. arjay2813

      wow did i derp that or what? meant flintstones style. the facepalm i pulled was devastating http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LrrryH6cW2E/T5GYUqUhvQI/AAAAAAAABtc/ETBM1D1r-ho/s1600/flinstone.jpg

  24. Uniqueantique

    Yup, Dina’s cute. Too bad she’s getting socialized.

  25. Dr.Z

    Ouch. Too cute. Got a toothache.

  26. Rust

    As has been said before: Dina is adorkable.

  27. Tori

    I am so glad to have Dina back. So very glad.

  28. Dibullba

    So many shitty jokes in the comments XD

    1. Rex Hondo

      Hey, if you think you can doo better…

    2. Doctor_Who

      Just doing our doody.

      1. begbert2

        Scat, you.

  29. AckAckAck

    I like this Dina version better. She’s just more proactive and willing to be social. The Joyce and Walky version was just too sad and depressing. At least in here her world is much more normal.

  30. Kunoichi

    I love how Dina takes this so seriously.

  31. tahrey

    It’s kinda like how I’m occasionally reminded of how Football (well, Soccer) exists, and that other people tend to use it as a conversation starter/icebreaker/filler, and the realisation that I probably should have at least paid attention to who last won the Sports Cup for doing the most points in order to be able to at least pretend to participate.

    At least, that used to be the case. Thanks to our local radio stations’ rather lax attitude to RDS traffic bulletin synchronisation, I have to leave the car radio tuned to them continuously on the way to and from work (apart from the last 5 miles each way when I can have a track or two off a CD) and they will. not. shut. up. about. it… every. single. friggin. day. There’s a soundbite they recently took off a guy who phoned in during a derby weekend where he said “every team in the league has got big games” and they now play it at the head of the hour when the programme that mainly deals with The Footballs kicks off. Every day. THAT’S NOT EVEN POSSIBLE ARRGGH /rant.

    Anyway yes, so, in winter, I’m like Dina being soaked in a big bath of liquidised sitcom, I think. Except there’s a distressing lack of context. So I know what an Ogunwingie is, but not entirely sure why.

    Summertime, I commute on the bike instead and return to a blissful state of cluelessness.

    1. TPman

      Sportland Sports. Number 1 in points!

      1. StClair

        Now imagine what they could do if they all transformed into race cars or something.

  32. Gordon Blvd

    all I know is that every time she does something, I tend to love here just a little bit more 🙂

    1. Gordon Blvd

      lol, that should say “love her”…………………but the typo works too 😉

  33. Beefcube

    Welp, that just became my favorite DoA Dina moment of all time.

    1. kaeli

      mine too!!

  34. Doctor_Who

    I predict that this is going to lead to a scene where she follows Amber into their dorm room’s bathroom to chat.

  35. The1exile

    Dina’s seen what’s going on here and is letting Ethan and Walky’s have some quality time alone. Dina: secretly the best wingman?

    1. timemonkey

      She could give Joe lessons.

  36. begbert2

    It appears that Dina has shifted back into neutral, after a surprising few moments of being in high gear.

  37. Vex Godglove

    I love how Dina seems to be an alien (or possibly an dinosaur in human form) learning how to act like a human.

  38. Tom Speelman

    Bit of a Dina/Britta parallel here…

  39. Jehosaphat

    Tee hee! Dina said duties.

  40. Bill M.

    Just read the hover-text… how did she miss the Dinosaurs sitcom? Howard Handupme wants to know!

    1. LiveWire

      Yep. The Dinosaurs sitcom would have been the logical choice, though in THIS iteration of the Walky universe, it will have been off-air since she was about 2 (assuming she joined the college at 18, in 2010).

  41. Vyrsa

    “Why don’t you dere-lick my balls??”

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