266

Y’wanna
Posted on January 12, 2018 by David M Willis

266 thoughts on “Y’wanna”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “DO I?!?”

    1. Ana Chronistic

      of COURSE that’s the alt-text

      1. Dr T

        Alt-text still does not work on my iPhone. What does it say?

        1. Commentary Ver.2.72

          Ana posted it already. Alt comment: buy a Samsung

        2. Durandal_1707

          Wait, there’s a way to read alt-text on Android? How? Which browser?

          I can kinda read short comments like today’s in Firefox by long-pressing on the image, but the character limit’s pretty low, so if the alt-text isn’t really short it gets cut off.

        3. Yumi

          Chrome browser, just tap below the strip next to the navigation buttons.

        4. a_feeling_robot

          also works in Opera, just for the record

        5. Deathjavu

          Below comic and to the right of the “latest” button, there’s a place you can click on mobile to get a nice big alt text, like you would on a full size computer

        6. Screwball

          Really? * Tries it* Hey, it worked! Thanks for that ?.

        7. noiob

          on this site, there’s a way to read alt-text on any mobile browser

          just tap the blank space next to the navigation buttons! It’s really handy

        8. Durandal_1707

          Yeah, I was reading it as something platform-specific (“buy a Samsung”), which the “click next to the nav buttons” thing is not—I assume that would work just as well on an iPhone.

          It’s bugged me for a long time that none of the browsers have seen fit to implement such a simple feature as the ability to read alt-text by long-pressing on an image. :-/

        9. Formedras

          I don’t know about Safari, or any iOS browser, but both Chrome and Firefox on Android have said feature. Chrome’s is more limited: after a certain length, it cuts off the rest. Firefox instead lets you drag-scroll the text.

        10. Formedras

          Hopefully at some point the visibility of this can be saved for automatic appearance and/or the feature loses its mobile-only status.

        11. Victor

          Android sucks, so that’s a horrible idea. And Android on a Samsung sucks even more than just Android.

          Also, Chrome on iOS will show it too. Just hold your finger on the image.

        12. Formedras

          “Android sucks.” Three options here.
          1.) You’re an iPhone user, and therefore your idea of good and bad is as twisted as News Corp.’s. (Not only does Apple not understand the difference between “simple” and “simplistic” — yes there’s a difference, during no part of Apple’s history has it been anything more than a band of thieves… plus the outsider-ish Woz in the early days.)
          2.) You’re a Windows Phone user. Although you’re still mostly wrong, you get a pass for sticking with what would be a great system if it had more apps.
          3.) You think all of it sucks. This is the only option where you’re not wrong. (iOS is simplistic and is right in line with the direction of Japanese video games for the last 10-15 years. Windows Phone is less simplistic but even more limited. Android is based on the Linux kernel, which is bad enough on its own. Android/BSD would be best… if only it functionally existed.)
          Fully agreed though that Samsung sucks.

          Looking at the rest of the comment… I see option 1.

        13. All-Purpose Guru

          Just press and hold on the image. The alt text will show in the popup at the top with the URL of the image.

        14. CodyBlues

          If your using crome, just keep your finger on the I gave for a few seconds, it will be on the top of the screen(along with the same image stuff)

        15. Lucretiel

          You should be able to tap the blue area AROUND the comic on mobile to see the comic.

      2. Techhead

        If you’re on mobile and you click the space right of the “Latest” button, alt-text pops up.

      3. Deanatay

        Ana, you need to stop being retroactively psychic.

    2. Doctor_Who

      Hey Ethanzoid, wanna go see a bear riding a motorcycle?

    3. SomeDumbGuy

      There you are, you had me worried.

    4. Deanatay

      Um… do I?

  2. CandidCanid

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

    1. Emily

      b

      1. Koms

        I c what u did there

        1. Viktoria

          He wants the d.

        2. Ana Chronistic

          E

          Jack

          U

          Late

        3. Dean

          Ffucksake.

        4. LaduSwala

          GG, everyone

        5. ubertenorman

          hi

        6. 0kami

          This strip is rated H for Honest.

        7. Mr. Bulbmin

          I see what you’re doing, and I approve.

        8. Jack Spade

          this Joke has gone to far.

        9. AGV

          K, mates, that’s enough

        10. adjudicus

          Lmao, we haven’t even started yet!

        11. Jason

          No more.

        12. APersonAmI

          Oh, I think we can keep going.

        13. nooB

          you skipped Me

        14. Lexi

          Probably for the best.

        15. Delicious Taffy

          You’re all so Quick with these, it’s uncanny.

        16. MilesDryden

          This is getting Ridiculous.

        17. Liquid Len

          Stop me before I go to far!

        18. Raulwicke

          Trying a little hard aren’t we?

        19. N0083rp00F

          Uhm, phrasing people.

        20. Deanatay

          Just needed to Vent.

        21. coeurdechoeur

          Wow, y’all are really doing this, aren’t you.

        22. bhtooefr

          eXcellent, everyone.

        23. Hana

          You need to stop.

        24. 3dsel

          ZOMG.

        25. maxyai

          Zounds! We did it!

        26. Roborat

          Again!

        27. Theluxland

          But we really should stop.

        28. Jack Spade

          Can’t stop, won’t stop!

        29. saltchocolate

          Don’t know why we would.

        30. AndieStardust

          Everyone, chill

        31. HeySo

          Ana, I feel like your introduction to the english alphabet missed a few steps- and added a few.

    2. Joe Covenant

      Let’s stop this now

      1. Joe Covenant

        My God, I was Ninja’d…

  3. StClair

    no, Ethan, no.

    1. Emily

      makeouts with Mike are like deals with the devil

      1. Captain Ahab - He's a Hero!

        The devil is pretty damned sexy though. I’d boner for that.

        1. N0083rp00F

          We they were the most beautiful angel after all.

      2. Jack Spade

        He will “Flowers for Algeron” your sex drive.

        1. whitt

          O_O wtf! omg

    2. Freemage

      This actually bothers me a lot less than the Shortpacked! version of their hookup. There’s no manipulation, no blatant attempt by Mike to use the sex to give Ethan issues. Just straightforward (ironic pun unintended) hot man-on-man action.

      1. Reltzik

        Except that Mike’s been manipulating Ethan ever since sleeping with Eric and crushing that Transformers debate, and he’s using sex to give Ethan/Danny issues.

        1. Doki

          I’m definitely worried about that last bit (not least because Danny x Ethan is, like, my DOA OTP haha). We’ll see how it actually pans li I guess. ;~;

        2. Doki

          * pans out

      2. thejeff

        It bothers me less because he didn’t bring Faz in on it.

  4. AnvilPro

    Mike is the best

    1. Van Dyne

      Mike is a force of nature.

      1. whitt

        versatile power switch?

  5. Architex

    You had me at Y’WANNA!

  6. VizardJeffhog

    ( ͡O ͜ʖ ͡O)

  7. Yumi

    Well, that’s worse than whatever I was expecting.

    1. saltchocolate

      You misspelled “better.”

  8. Miguel

    Okay?

  9. Dean

    “Wait, you mean with you?”

  10. Keulen

    I’d be ok with this it weren’t for the fact that it’s Mike, and we already know he has an ulterior motive behind this.

    1. Jack Spade

      If you look way back almost right after Danny comes out as bi to Ethan (and Jacob accidentally) Mike figures it out. Ethan than makes him promise to leave Danny alone, so Mike decided he would instead seduce Ethan, which would turn Danny into a jibbering mess.

      This is why I love this comic, Willis had set this plot line up, I think over a year ago and is now paying it forward. There are so many more I’m waiting to see but for now, I’ll be glad to watch Mike getting a four-fer.

      1. adjudicus

        Out of curiosity, what are the other storylines you’re waiting to see? the only ones I can think of off the top of my head is that whole Jacob/Joyce/Raidah/Sarah debacle and Walky thinking of breaking up with Dorothy

        1. Clif

          Sal realizing that Amber is the one who stabbed her. Joe coming to terms with the fact that he’s attracted to Joyce on more than a superficial level. The inevitable return of Faz. Billie’s coming choice of which Billie she is and her continuing belief she has no problem with alcohol. Dorothy discovering her own limitations. The evolution of Leslie’s relationship and the resulting triangle.

        2. BBCC

          I just want to see the robbery from Sal’s POV. That and how Marcie became mute.

        3. Jack Spade

          Also Joyce’s sister (I can’t remember the her name for the life of me and I’m to lazy to look it up), Amber’s new split personality disorder, Marci and Mahayla, Joe’s dad/Amber’s mom, Walky/Sal’s mom having preference to Walky, Walky’s tutoring, a possible divorce between Joyce’s parents because while dad is willing to accept Joyce’s moral compass mom is still homophobic, Amber’s dad’s inevitable return regarding mcStabbed.

        4. Jack Spade

          Jocelyn! That’s her name.

        5. Jack Spade

          Though while I’m in the mood:
          Way back when Amazing-Girl started dating Danny we got a couple panels where she changed the nick-name on her DS from Amber too Amazing-Girl too keep Danny from figuring it out.

          Move forward to the scene where Amber constructs the privacy chair tomb, after Sal and Sarah dismantle the tomb Amber challenges Sal to a Mariocart race. We didn’t get a scene where she changed her DS nick-name back to Amber.

          So here’s the question; did Amber ever change the nick-name back to Amber, or did she forget? Because if prior, when? If later, what did Sal make of a girl, who obviously has some kind of problem with her, and who also fits the physical descriptions of Amazing-girl, having the nick-name Amazing-girl on her DS. Let us note this was right after Robins rally, so Amazing-girl had just told Sal her alter-ego has issues with her.

          Summery; there’s a chance that Sal has already figured out that Amazi-Girl is Amber. If so, why hasn’t she confronted her about it?

  11. DJ Professor K

    I. MISS. COLLEGE.

    1. PickledPeter

      I must be going to the wrong college then, cause I never see stuff like that!

    2. Yumi

      You miss people manipulating you to hurt those you care about?

      1. King Daniel

        That’s the “college experience” I’ve heard about?

    3. JessWitt

      I missed out on a lot during college.

      1. dn3s

        avatar is appropriate

  12. Kater

    Hey look it’s all I ever wanted!

  13. Doribi

    to quote Admiral Ackbar, “It’s a trap!” but still I am all for this type of trap right now, so long as there are no strings attached, because Mike would find a way to break Ethan’s heart if strings were attached.

    1. Yumi

      But there like…are strings attached. Mike’s doing this to cause pain.

    2. Zach

      He needs no strings!
      Don’t doubt the Mike.

      1. Deadjolras

        I’ve got no strings
        So I have fun
        I’m not tied up to anyone
        They’ve got strings
        But you can see
        There are no strings on me!

    3. Deanatay

      It’s a trap, all right.

      A HONEY trap.

      Sweet, sweet Mike hate-honey…

    4. Sam

      Strings are attached but he isn’t trying to break Ethan, he is trying to break Danny by seducing Ethan. The seducing at least is clearly working currently.

      1. thejeff

        Happily, he knows that’ll break Ethan too.

      2. monkyvirus

        I don’t know why that would “break” Danny. “Oh no that guy who I fancy but decided it was best not to date made out with another guy!” Disppointed sure, but broken?

    5. J. A. J.

      R.I.P.

      1. J. A. J.

        Admiral Ackbar, I mean.

  14. Yumi

    For those of you lost on Mike’s motivation:
    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/percent/

    1. Jack

      Honestly I don’t remember if he did this in the Walkyverse or not, but by virtue of the fact that it’s Mike it was evident his plan is to fuck with as many people as possible.

      1. StClair

        … as it were.

      2. Shade

        He did, both Amber and Ethan in the same night.

    2. saltchocolate

      Oh, god. I forgot. Okay, you were right, Yumi.

    3. geno

      Mike’s motivation in the Walkyverse was to get Ethan to finally come out of the closet after being so indecisive. And to piss off Robin who wanted to date Ethan even though she was pretty convinced he was gay.

  15. DailyBrad

    I forget, is this Ethan into Mike? I mean, he is enough to act on it here, but I recall Walkyverse Ethan being a little fixated on him after the Mike/Ethan/Amber hookup thing.

    1. Yumi

      I don’t know if he’s particularly into him, but he’s like 50 to 60 percent sure Mike’s his friend, and his queer friend, and Mike’s been working on garnering Ethan’s interest for a while now, which I think has Ethan seeing Mike as a good enough option.

      1. geno

        To be fair Mike definitely is Amber and Ethan’s friend. He just really isn’t a very good friend.

    2. Deadjolras

      There’s this strip? I don’t know if it’s enough to go on, though. http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/03-the-thing-i-was-before/labels/

      1. Yumi

        That strip is also post-initiation of Mike’s plan to hook up with Ethan to hurt Danny, so I wouldn’t read it as like “Ethan’s into Mike” as much as “Mike is succeeding in manipulating Ethan.”

        But I guess he is trying to get Ethan to be into him as part of his manipulation, so

    3. Leorale

      Ethan thinks Mike is attractive. Apparently, so much so that he’ll overlook how terrible Mike is to everyone.
      It’s a comic about bad decisions, whatchagonnado.

      1. Geneseepaws

        Whatch agon nado, sort of a tornado like a sharknado is, but with
        watch-agony?

        1. SgtWadeyWilson

          That’s absurd! Watches can’t feel agony.

        2. Goshii

          That’s Timepiecist.

        3. Amazi-Stool

          A gonad?Oh, it’s related to the topic!

    4. Sam

      He is enough into him to agree to makeouts. He also finds his ability to decimate Transformers arguments to be extremely attractive.

  16. Passchendaele

    *god damnit*, Ethan.

  17. meanderling

    OH NO wait is there going to be slipshine

    1. Aislashu

      This would make me subscribe to Slipshine for at least a month lol

    2. Jack Spade

      Well, Willis is a self-described “internet pron lord”, so I’d bet my -insertvaluableitem- that yes.

  18. Deadjolras

    So listening to the Imperial March seconds before reading this comic is just a coincidence, right? It’s not ominous at all, right?

    1. Keulen

      Strangely enough, I was listening to the Imperial March a few minutes before this comic loaded too. Then I was listening to this song from Rogue One.

      1. King Daniel

        …I was listening to this piece myself.

        1. King Daniel

          Link didn’t work: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaEzKRngCyY

        2. Deadjolras

          Okay, I’m pretty sure the universe is trying to tell us something with this. I believe it’s saying “this arc will have nothing but good vibes and no one will manipulate anyone!”

        3. tyersome

          Forced optimism this is.

        4. Jack Spade

          Strong in the sarcasm, he is.

        5. Clif

          Sarcasm is the force that surrounds us and binds us all together. Sounds about right.

  19. lia47

    the fact that they were lying like that with no prior plans of making out is so cute

    1. Yumi

      Mike was probably panning on the make out session.

      1. 4,000 spiders

        i can’t tell if “panning” is a typo or a pun

        1. Yumi

          ¿Por qué no los dos?

    2. DinaWho

      It’s actually the same/similar to how they were lying earlier in this plot thread, when Mike was enlisted by Ethan to fight in Transformers fandom battles online: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-7/01-glower-vacuum/rubs/

      (Not even going to try to get fancy with the HTML)

    3. Nono

      Mike has plenty of experience with lying.

      1. HeySo

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/underhanded/

  20. Stephen Bierce

    Cut to Robin…”I am intrigued, aroused, an’ disturbed.”

    1. David DeLaney

      I am interested in their gender-studies theories and would like to subscirbe to their illustrated newsletter.

      –Dave, guest stars: Joe, Danny, … NOT TOEDAD gahhh

  21. segnosaur

    Would this be Ethan’s first real sexual (or partly sexual) encounter? (Apart from his attempts with Amber/Joyce that is.) He didn’t “come out” until after prom, and I hadn’t heard anything about him having dates in the summer (and given his situation he may not have had the chance).

    1. Jack Spade

      Holy shit Mike is about to take Ethan’s virginity for kicks.

  22. MM

    Well, that was less Machiavellian than I expected.

    On the other hand…teenage boy, so I probably shouldn’t be surprised.

    1. StClair

      “I’m seventeen. Looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex.”
      – Xander Harris

  23. Madock345

    This is way too relatable.

    Stop spying on me, Willis!

  24. TemporalShrew

    Can we retcon this out of the comic instead.

    1. adjudicus

      Gravatar is very, very, very appropriate

  25. newllend(henryvolt)

    This took some time to get around to but at the same time it didn’t really feel like it was dragged out all that much.

  26. JessWitt

    BRB. Experiencing Category 55 Cognitive Dissonance Crisis right now.

  27. foamy

    Welp.

  28. Parzival

    This feels like it should have been the beginning of a Slipshine instead of taking the place of a regular strip.

  29. Larkle

    Well, accomplishing his discord plan seems to be going smoothly.

    1. Deanatay

      It’s certainly succeeding in the comments section…

  30. Mr. Random

    The long con comes to a close.

    1. Needfuldoer

      This is only the beginning.

    2. Sunny

      I’d say it’s about to climax.

  31. newllend(henryvolt)

    Here’s what I want to know, who’s he going after who’s Mike’s Target here. Is he planning for to Danny to walk in and get all flustered and convince him to join then Amber’s going to walk in ?

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      I still remember this speculation: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/03-the-thing-i-was-before/labels/

    2. Yumi

      I’m assuming it’s a continuation of this plan:
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/percent/

    3. Sam

      The target is Danny. He is seducing Ethan to turn Danny into a mess because Ethan said he was to leave Danny alone. Therefore, he is seducing him instead of Danny.

  32. Lapin

    I really want Mike to actually be into Ethan in the romantic sense. I like seeing Mike in love with another person. No matter the ‘verse, he’s awful at expressing it, but fierce about the person, and I think they’d work well as a couple.

    1. Jack Spade

      “If only, if only,” the woodpecker sighed, “the bark on the tree was as soft as the sky.”

      1. Joe Covenant

        I’m intrigued… what’s that little snippet from??

        1. Delicious Taffy

          It’s from Fury. Shia LeBeouf’s character sings it to himself during the climax of the movie, when the tank is being swarmed by German soldiers.

        2. Omymel

          It’s from the book “Holes” by Lois Sachar

        3. Omymel

          Louis Sachar, not Lois, my bad

        4. Delicious Taffy

          Is that the one about the kids digging up lizards all day? I think I saw the movie once or twice.

        5. Sam

          They were digging holes all day. The lizards were venomous but disliked onions or it neutralised the venom or something, the lizards were dangerous is the point and could easily kill people.

        6. Delicious Taffy

          Then why were the kids digging for them? What a weird plot.

        7. Knayt

          The kids weren’t digging for them. The brief background plot synopsis is that there was a lake town in which people lost some valuables in the lake. The lake dried up, the town died, and in the scorched desert that replaced it a descendant of one of the people who lost their valuables opened up a “camp” that was an alternative to a juvenile detention facility. The camp involved getting a bunch of kids to dig a big hole every day to unwittingly search for the valuables.

          The kids weren’t digging for the lizards, they were just native to the area, poisonous, and generally found underground during the hottest time of day. They also happened to be disinclined towards biting anything reeking of onion, which comes up in the course of the main plot (although it might have also come up in the background plot).

    2. DailyBrad

      You know, I could buy Mike as genuinely being into Ethan. He has gotten onto Ethan many times over the strip about denying his sexuality, having shitty self-esteem and self-contempt, etc. The thing is, he’s also pretty direct about that stuff, which is more than we can say about cons he’s done on Walky or Joyce, etc. That could be because they’re friends, but then again, there may be more to it than that.

      1. thejeff

        I could buy it, if it wasn’t for him openly stating to the audience that he was going to seduce Ethan to turn Danny into a jealous, whimpering mess.

    3. Jason

      I agree! I want this to backfire- onto MIKE. I want Ethan to walk away, and Mike to be genuinely hurt by that.
      After that I think there’s the possibility of them building a positive relationship as equals, depending on how Mike handles it. But yeah, that’s something I’d like to see. I probably won’t though!

    4. geno

      I’m not certain I will ever stop shipping Mike with Amber. Willis will have to murder it with nuclear fire for that ship to die in my heart. I can definitely see Ethan and Mike as couple though. I’m definitely a fan of Mike in relationships, so long as they understand who he is. Another Dina situation will make me cry, and shout “DAMN YOU WILLIS” into the winds.

  33. ProfessorDetective

    Well, then.

  34. Goki

    IT’S A TRAP!!!!!!

  35. Reltzik

    … well, that was remarkably less subtle than I was expecting Mike to be.

  36. timemonkey

    Sexual frustration’s not good for one’s judgement. And Ethan’s got build up not just from Mike but also from rooming with Jacob and being around Danny and constantly flirting.

  37. Victor Riley

    Okay, Mike’s just going to use this to F with him later. He even stated as much in the past. I doubt Mike is even bi-sexual, or pansexual… he just does it to eventually hurt them later. (Hurtsexual? Harmsexual?)

    Yes, I know “anyone can love” and “everyone deserves love”, and all that… but this is Mike we’re talking, here. He’s just an a-hole, through and through.

    1. Yumi

      I think his still pansexual.
      Just a pansexual a-hole.

      1. Sam

        Mike is hate-sexual.
        Anything you don’t want him to be, he is.
        Also, he banged your mom.
        Your dad is next.

    2. Hawke

      Mike isn’t straight, according to Willis. Word of G-d and all that.

      “Mike has made out with and had sex with dudes in the Walkyverse. Whatever his self-descriptor, he is definitely not straight. Even without having taken those canonical actions, it doesn’t mean he’s necessarily straight.” From Willis’ main blog.

      He’s still absolutely an asshole though.

    3. McBogue

      I believe the word you’re looking for is “sociopath”.

      1. Sam

        Don’t throw sociopaths under the bus because Mike is a bad person and chooses to be a bad person. ASPD, the proper term for sociopathy, is a personality disorder that tends to develop due to childhood trauma.

        Mike is just an asshole because he actively chooses to be one even towards his friends, which isn’t typical for anyone.

        1. Snail

          This is a good response and I appreciate it.

        2. BBCC

          This. Sociopathy (and psychopathy) are out of date terms and have been for some time now.

        3. McBogue

          After looking into it a little, I’m willing to take back the sociopath label.

          But he is still manipulative, psychologically and (occasionally) physically abusive, has a distinct lack of empathy towards others including his nominal friends, has marked sado-masochistic tendencies (and not just the fun kind, either), and is acting this way by choice.

          From what I’ve seen, Willis has played this mostly for laughs in the Walkyverse but DoA is supposed to be a little more realistic, where someone like Mike would be be freaking dangerous.

          (I messed up my email in my previous reply, delete please?)

    4. ValdVin

      Appropriate avatar for this post.

    5. geno

      I think pansexual or demisexual would be the proper term for Mike. In the other universe despite all his sexual adventures with guys and girls Mike only ever cared for Dina and Amber.

  38. Kitschensyngk

    Thought you’d never ask.

  39. kitty

    mikes hair is an F……. for Fuck

    1. Ainara

      It’s because he’s a fuckhead

  40. DarkoNeko

    whaaaaaaaaat

  41. PB

    ETHAN NO

    1. Knightsky

      ETHAN YES.

      1. PB

        (ngl I was secretly hoping for this comment thank you)

  42. Teddae

    Keep your grubby lips off ethan, mike

  43. Biblioholic

    Miiiiiiike

    Go sit in a corner and think about what you’ve done.

  44. Kirby

    Ethan so ready to make out his phone broke the 4th Wall.

  45. Alan

    “This is not going to go the way you think.”

  46. Jordan

    …huh. I didn’t expect that.

    Kind of got a kick out of how Ethan immediately just tossed his phone aside.

  47. gen

    DAMN YOU, MIKE!

  48. CJ

    Has he just somehow invited Danny over, so he’s sure to see them?

  49. Epochflame

    hot

  50. quietdevious1

    The joy I get from this reminds me that deep down I am not a good person

  51. Laladoria

    Been wondering when this would come around…

  52. OnyxIdol

    Oh dear.

    1. OnyxIdol

      Let me rephrase that: eat shit Mike.

  53. RogueParasol

    I hate Mike. So much. Because this would be adorable if Mike was ANYONE else, and I so want Ethan to get a nice fuckbuddy, or boyfriend, or bacchanalia, whatever Ethan wants, because Ethan deserves so many nice things. But Mike is not a nice thing. Mike is a terrible, manipulative, self-serving thing. It’s not even like “aaaaawww, the sociopath is falling in love!!” it’s just “well, fuck, Mike’s putting his destructive plan in motion.” And I hate him for that. Maybe, at some point, Mike will be less of a terrible being and find love. But he does not deserve Ethan’s love, affection, or trust right now.

    1. geno

      Even as someone whom Mike is one of their favorite characters I can agree with you. However, this strip needs conflict in order to have a story. Willis is an amazing writer. Even if things are bad for the character at the moment they get better for the most part.

      1. 21apathy

        I wish Mike would have some character development. Something. Some reason to have him not be the most one-dimensional, assholiest… I mean, he’s funny at times, and can make the strip more interesting, and causes conflict… but that’s all he is.

      2. monkyvirus

        While I love most of the writing, Mike is a one trick hate-pony which really ruins my enjoyment of the comic. I don’t want to read it when he appears because he never does anything clever (usually just truth bombs and/or manipulates) and genuinely seems to want to hurt people for no reason. He’s a pot-stirrer but he doesn’t even seem to get enjoyment out of it.

  54. Eldritch Gentleman

    Oh yeah after all the drama let’s go back to Mike’s plot to seduce Ethan and then break his heart…

    1. Jack Spade

      Or danny’s.
      Or both.
      Probably one or two other peoples too.
      Generally sex with Mike ruins the day of everyone within 1 or 2 social links.

      1. Eldritch Gentleman

        I vote for Amber’s first villainous act to be going all Bane on Mike’s spine.

        1. BenRG

          Mike himself would argue quite vehemently about whether crippling him for life would make her a ‘villain’ or whether it would just prove him right about the essentially cruel, selfish and savage nature of humanity.

      2. Joe Covenant

        Six Degrees of Sexparation

      3. Delicious Taffy

        Did somebody say “Social Link”???

    2. BenRG

      The problem is that Ethan knows Mike so well that I wonder if it will work or whether Ethan will show him a text file that has a list of all the things one does to seduce someone with each step checked off. “I sort of saw this coming.”

  55. Ainara

    I can’t blame Ethan but this is a very bad idea.
    It’s Mike.
    MIKE, ETHAN

    1. Eldritch Gentleman

      Abandon this ship and torpedo it some more just to make sure!

  56. Nobody

    ….smooth

  57. Moose

    What’s the evil plan this time? Leave Ethan with blue balls? ‘Cause I had that on Saturday. Really bad. I’m still sore almost a week later.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Why did you freeze and/or decirculate your genitals, if that’s not too personal?

    2. Deanatay

      Make Danny so desperately jealous that he kicks in the door and declares his love for Ethan to the entire dorm, and Ethan swoons into his arms, and they ride into the sunset together.

      Then, in the last gloaming of the sunset, Mike turns up his collar, lights a cigarette, and mutters, “My work here is done.” And disappears into the shadows.

      1. thejeff

        Ah, I was wondering when someone was going to show up to paint Mike as the hero here. Thanks for taking care of that.

        1. DinaWho

          To be fair ‘make Danny a jealous mess’ is literally the objective of this plan.

          (Not meant as a defense of Mike, just a factual statement.)

        2. thejeff

          Yeah, but “make Danny a jealous mess with the objective of getting them together” isn’t.

        3. Deanatay

          Yeah, I may have fan-fic’d a bit, there, at the end.

        4. Deanatay

          Happy to be of service! 🙂

  58. EvilMidnightLurker

    “Hey, Freakazoid…”

    1. Slipdance

      And with this, Mike will forever be voiced by Ed Asner in my head.

  59. AGV

    So… when’s the slipshine?

  60. ninja_jesus

    My prediction: I’m pretty sure this is gonna involve Danny coming to see Ethan and getting hurt; Ethan will go after him (after sharing a few choice words with Mike), and then during a heart-wrenching talk between Danny and Ethan, they make out instead.

    And Mike saves the day again by being a humongous jerk.

    1. DailyBrad

      Possibly, though I could also see it being something like him getting Ethan to engage in any form of sexual expression to get him past his hangups about it. Ethan was convinced that being openly gay would make him “the gay guy” and define him, and I’m going to take a wild guess and say Ethan, Danny, and Mike aren’t the only dudes down with dudes on campus.

      Maybe just a “this is what you’re missing out on, live damn it” wakeup call.

    2. geno

      Yep Mike needs to do everything in the shittiest way possible. Even when he saved Joyce in the Walkyverse he needed to make a your mom joke on his way out.

  61. CoMa

    And thus a collective cry of “NOOOO” echoed through the world today…

    Oh no, wait, that was just me.

  62. Nenja

    NO, ETHAN, NOOO!

  63. BenRG

    This is really weird and I’m having a hard time keeping disbelief suspended.

    The best I can do is this: Ethan isn’t that fooled but he has to agree with Mike that they’ve reached that point in their interactions. Both know the next step that is ‘in the manual’, if you will, so they’re going to do it with about as much emotional commitment as they have pressing a button on a game controller.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Are we talkin’ “Still 73 more encounters til I reach Level 34” commitment, or “NO DAIMON GRABBED MY PAWN SHITSHITSHIT” commitment? Because that second one could be pretty intense.

      1. BenRG

        More like: “I have to do this raid 35 times before I’ve earned enough XP to get a free loot crate. *sigh* Back to the grind!”

  64. miina

    Oh well at least Ethan is actually embracing his sexuality instead of painfully pretending to like Joyce

  65. some guy

    You know what, this actually reminds me of ethan’s reaction to sleeping with mike back in “Shortpacked!”

    1. Liquid Len

      This one? http://www.shortpacked.com/index.php?id=712

      1. Rabid Rabbit

        More the next one, probably: http://www.shortpacked.com/index.php?id=713

      2. Marsh Maryrose

        “Your facts have no effect on me!” belongs right up there with “I reject your reality and substitute my own!”

  66. Tealjoy Grove

    I went back a page because what?!

  67. hof1991

    My hope is that this is what Amber saw from the rooftop and that she is on her way to break it up. Live on hope and die of starvation.

    1. Ainara

      Did Ethan and Mike drag a beg outdoors, or does she have X-ray vision?

      1. Ainara

        Augh! Bed, not beg 🙁

    2. ValdVin

      Wow. I wish that too, come to think of it.

  68. KSClaw

    you know, I won’t be surprised if during their makeout, Danny walks in on them.

    1. TheAmazingKMan

      I think that’s what Mike is counting on…

      1. Emperor Norton II

        In fact, that’s who he’s texting in those panels.

        1. Rabid Rabbit

          Danny will walk in. Mike will propose he join them. Danny will. Then Amber will walk in. It will be the most magnificent explosion of all time, and Mike’s ultimate victory over Amber.

          Unless she just asks if she can join in too. In which case Mike’s plan backfires, but he does get an orgy out of it.

  69. human

    Me too, Ethan. Me too.

  70. Rabid Rabbit

    For some reason I wasn’t expecting that alt-text. What came to mind was “Is the Pope the Antichrist?”

  71. Elsendor

    MIKE

  72. Opus the Poet

    Mike is such a smooth talker.

  73. Sibre

    Little does Mike know that Ethan only showed interest in Danny to get Mike to manipulate himself right into Ethan’s pants.

  74. Ryan

    Any fucking with Mike is invariably a hate fuck. He hates, ergo, he fucks.

  75. KaerfNomekop

    I turned my phone upside-down and suddenly Mike’s expression was a lot less frowny-hate-face.

  76. halcyon1234

    I read this too fast, and my brain mis-aligned the speech bubbles, and I was “you go Bold New Ethan!”

  77. Playmaker

    I’m surprised Mike is not charging Ethan a nickel.

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