Fortunately for the student body, I am pretty sure that satellites can’t get detailed enough photos to read lips. If I recall it has to deal with the problems of differences between the rotations of the Earth and satellite their orbits. The satellite cameras can’t adjust for the speed differences well enough to get a clear shot that detailed – the photo would end up all blurry. I would verify this information, but I don’t want search the internet for details on spy satellites. I don’t need to be on any government watch list.
Fool! Carla does not abide by such puny things like “Science” and ,”logic” she only answers to the Laws of Carla, which are as follow:
1. Carla can do whatever she wants.
2. Go fuck yourself.
Jay
Carla would still not have a spy satellite monitoring for conversations about her, because Carla already knows all conversations are implicitly about her!
Clif
Why use satellites when Rutech nanodrones are more efficient, targeted, and undetectable and are, in fact, watching over your shoulder right now to see what you’re up to on the Internet.
Tan
The age-old question: swarm of nanodrones, or gigadrone?
Firseal
Both. The gigadrone is the deployment platform for the nanodrones.
Wizard
As we all know, birds aren’t real. So how many of those cleverly disguised avian drones scattered around the campus use RutTech components?
yee, Carla’s an Engineering major who likely has a more than thorough physics understanding
a spy satellite in low earth orbit could only view a target like Indiana University for about 80 seconds, and will only be able to view it again once 24 hours have passed
A geostationary satellite can continuously keep focus on the same target, but have such a high orbit above the surface that they can’t resolve things smaller than 6 meters in diameter — good enough to spot tornados, not so much for reading lips XD
Adept
What do you mean with 24 hours here? The ISS for example completes an orbit every 90 minutes.
Decidedly Orthogonal
Yes, but after each orbit, a different part of the Earth has rotated into being “under” the satellite.
Big Z
This! As anyone who’s played too much Kerbal Space Program knows, to keep a satellite in low orbit AND pointed at a specific spot on the ground, you either need to burn a lot of delta-V (not a long-term solution) or you need to have a constellation of satellites.
could you imagine the *actual* implications of a line of low-orbit satellites which take turns spying on the same geostationary target in succession?
one slip-up would potentially start a chain-reaction in which a massive amount of metal debris would crash into air-craft or even worse with the smoldering heat of atmospheric re-entry and momentum of a literal airborne train off the rails 0-0
and even ignoring the obvious dangers and rationale for the incredible amount of regulations regarding aerospace, amateurs consistently report satellite orbits online all the time and thus are hardly a reliable strategy for real espionage in the first place XD
Aus
After 90 minutes, it’s gone around the globe, but it’s not over Indiana University. It’s going too fast to be synchronized like that, and it can’t slow down or else it’d crash. That’s what a Geosynchronous orbit is; when you’re at the right distance from Earth that you can go just the right velocity and be over the same places every day.
You’re still not “parked” in the sky, however, unless you’re in a Geostationary orbit, but that’s only possible over the equator.
That’s why in movies and such you hear them saying that satellite coverage will begin and end at certain times. Unless you’re spying on Ecuador, there’s no way to just park a satellite over places.
Also, in one public comment, you posted the words “spy sattelite” and “government watch list”, you really think a little Google search is gonna matter after that? (I’m safe because I put them in quotation marks)
(PS, just to be clear, this conspiracy theorist stuff was intended for humorous effect)
Taffy
The fun part about this is, going on Google and typing “dumbingofage.com “spy satellite”” gives your comment as the first result, making you extremely easy to identify with those keywords.
True Survivor
Oh no.
Well, on the bright-side, it seems likely that eventually Willis will name some strip “spy satellite” and bump me down to second and third.
Also, is that new Avatar from the Sonic films? Are they any good? I’ve been considering watching them.
Taffy
The movies are good, yes. Just don’t go in expecting a life-changing experience and take them for what they are, and you’ll probably enjoy ’em. Nobody gets character assassinated and there’s a cool scene where a guy gets thrown into the stratosphere.
Eh, you might as well get yourself onto the government watch lists. You’re already on many corporate watch lists.
clif
Let me see. I can be on a list of someone with no authority over me who wants to sell me stuff. Or I can be on the list of someone who has authority over me and part of whose job is to control me. Hm. Which one should I worry about?
Lilith Rose
Worry more about the one who wants to sell you stuff. They’re more likely to bribe people, more likely to decide you’re worth their time, and less likely to have oversight.
After what I did in my late teens I’m resigned to being on watch lists for the rest of my life. That’s just one consequence of working for the company.
You are correct that the satalites wouldn’t be good enough to read lips. https://what-if.xkcd.com/32/
but carla has other options, namely the large network of listening devices, or just setting up some strategic mics and cameras.
No, there are pointing systems that can stabilize for that motion. The real problem is something called the diffraction limit of the optics. The size of the primary element limits the resolution of the system. The size of the primary element on spy satellites is functionally limited by the faring size of the lifting rocket. The two-meter primary on Hubble is about the uppermost limit on the size of the primary with the modern fleet of heavy-lift rockets. Though Starship, New Glenn, and (too a much lesser extent) SLS are looking to change that.
You can only have geosynchronous orbit over the Equator, and it’s too high up to resolve lips with anything that you could sensibly launch without the budget and/or technology of the Imperium of Man.
You might get lucky if you had something in the right point on its Molniya orbit that it happens to be close enough and pointed in the right direction, but you’d have to be very, very, lucky.
That’s actually a pretty good point. Okay, Carla and Joyce going “Don’t you know how great Carla is!?” with Charlie sitting there asking Joe “Isn’t my girlfriend the best?”
BRB, having an intervention for my acquaintance’s autism. Gonna have one for my coworker’s schizophrenia next week, and another for my cousin’s PTSD. Y’know, cuz that’s apparently normal and fine to do if we follow the road you’ve paved here.
Schpoonman
Send the funny van, I’m neurodivergent.
Taffy
And I’ll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats!
Either you’ve mixed up Carla and Rachel or this is some excellent straight-faced trolling.
Taffy
Who the fuck are you callin’ straight?
Rose by Any other Name
Sorry, gay-faced trolling.
Better?
Taffy
Eh, close enough.
staszu13
Straight faced as in not giggling
Taffy
Joke’s on you, I was giggling like an absolute loon when I posted it.
Nono
They didn’t even hook up early on (it was basically endgame), so probably the latter.
Taffy
No, Carla and Rachel never hooked up. They flirted a little bit during that one Christmas party, but nothing came of it.
Tan
What you must understand is that Taffy has never left a genuine comment on this website in the history of ever, because they believe that being an asshole to everyone around them is a worthwhile substitute for humor. It is incredibly tiresome, yet unrelenting.
266 thoughts on “Accepting”
NGPZ
LMAO IM DEAD XD
Deanatay
Stop pranking us, Willis! We know what comic we’re reading.
clif
But it’s a different comic every day.
Ana Chronistic
“In which universe was this?!”
XD
Amelie Wikström
Haha, busted by the soft retcon
Doctor_Who
High above them, in geosynchronous orbit over the campus, a RutTech satellite watching their conversation prepares the Meteoric Pie Launcher.
Jeremiah
It misses by a lot because Carla forgot to recalibrate it due to being too gay for her girlfriend to function
True Survivor
Fortunately for the student body, I am pretty sure that satellites can’t get detailed enough photos to read lips. If I recall it has to deal with the problems of differences between the rotations of the Earth and satellite their orbits. The satellite cameras can’t adjust for the speed differences well enough to get a clear shot that detailed – the photo would end up all blurry. I would verify this information, but I don’t want search the internet for details on spy satellites. I don’t need to be on any government watch list.
Jeremiah
Fool! Carla does not abide by such puny things like “Science” and ,”logic” she only answers to the Laws of Carla, which are as follow:
1. Carla can do whatever she wants.
2. Go fuck yourself.
Jay
Carla would still not have a spy satellite monitoring for conversations about her, because Carla already knows all conversations are implicitly about her!
Clif
Why use satellites when Rutech nanodrones are more efficient, targeted, and undetectable and are, in fact, watching over your shoulder right now to see what you’re up to on the Internet.
Tan
The age-old question: swarm of nanodrones, or gigadrone?
Firseal
Both. The gigadrone is the deployment platform for the nanodrones.
Wizard
As we all know, birds aren’t real. So how many of those cleverly disguised avian drones scattered around the campus use RutTech components?
NGPZ
"Voice Key Incorrect.""Voice key Incorrect."
staszu13
I didn’t know Carla did Galassospeak
NGPZ
yee, Carla’s an Engineering major who likely has a more than thorough physics understanding
a spy satellite in low earth orbit could only view a target like Indiana University for about 80 seconds, and will only be able to view it again once 24 hours have passed
A geostationary satellite can continuously keep focus on the same target, but have such a high orbit above the surface that they can’t resolve things smaller than 6 meters in diameter — good enough to spot tornados, not so much for reading lips XD
Adept
What do you mean with 24 hours here? The ISS for example completes an orbit every 90 minutes.
Decidedly Orthogonal
Yes, but after each orbit, a different part of the Earth has rotated into being “under” the satellite.
Big Z
This! As anyone who’s played too much Kerbal Space Program knows, to keep a satellite in low orbit AND pointed at a specific spot on the ground, you either need to burn a lot of delta-V (not a long-term solution) or you need to have a constellation of satellites.
Which Carla/Ruttech undoubtedly has.
NGPZ
I mean,
could you imagine the *actual* implications of a line of low-orbit satellites which take turns spying on the same geostationary target in succession?
one slip-up would potentially start a chain-reaction in which a massive amount of metal debris would crash into air-craft or even worse with the smoldering heat of atmospheric re-entry and momentum of a literal airborne train off the rails 0-0
and even ignoring the obvious dangers and rationale for the incredible amount of regulations regarding aerospace, amateurs consistently report satellite orbits online all the time and thus are hardly a reliable strategy for real espionage in the first place XD
Aus
After 90 minutes, it’s gone around the globe, but it’s not over Indiana University. It’s going too fast to be synchronized like that, and it can’t slow down or else it’d crash. That’s what a Geosynchronous orbit is; when you’re at the right distance from Earth that you can go just the right velocity and be over the same places every day.
You’re still not “parked” in the sky, however, unless you’re in a Geostationary orbit, but that’s only possible over the equator.
That’s why in movies and such you hear them saying that satellite coverage will begin and end at certain times. Unless you’re spying on Ecuador, there’s no way to just park a satellite over places.
Aquila
That’s just what they WANT you to think! 😛
Also, in one public comment, you posted the words “spy sattelite” and “government watch list”, you really think a little Google search is gonna matter after that? (I’m safe because I put them in quotation marks)
(PS, just to be clear, this conspiracy theorist stuff was intended for humorous effect)
Taffy
The fun part about this is, going on Google and typing “dumbingofage.com “spy satellite”” gives your comment as the first result, making you extremely easy to identify with those keywords.
True Survivor
Oh no.
Well, on the bright-side, it seems likely that eventually Willis will name some strip “spy satellite” and bump me down to second and third.
Also, is that new Avatar from the Sonic films? Are they any good? I’ve been considering watching them.
Taffy
The movies are good, yes. Just don’t go in expecting a life-changing experience and take them for what they are, and you’ll probably enjoy ’em. Nobody gets character assassinated and there’s a cool scene where a guy gets thrown into the stratosphere.
NGPZ
wat the?
Orange hair Ruth?
SMASH! >:3
Michael Steamweed
Eh, you might as well get yourself onto the government watch lists. You’re already on many corporate watch lists.
clif
Let me see. I can be on a list of someone with no authority over me who wants to sell me stuff. Or I can be on the list of someone who has authority over me and part of whose job is to control me. Hm. Which one should I worry about?
Lilith Rose
Worry more about the one who wants to sell you stuff. They’re more likely to bribe people, more likely to decide you’re worth their time, and less likely to have oversight.
Opus the Poet
After what I did in my late teens I’m resigned to being on watch lists for the rest of my life. That’s just one consequence of working for the company.
Tesset
Just go post it on the war thunder forums, then you’ll be in the clear.
Davus
You are correct that the satalites wouldn’t be good enough to read lips.
https://what-if.xkcd.com/32/
but carla has other options, namely the large network of listening devices, or just setting up some strategic mics and cameras.
Anonymouse
No, there are pointing systems that can stabilize for that motion. The real problem is something called the diffraction limit of the optics. The size of the primary element limits the resolution of the system. The size of the primary element on spy satellites is functionally limited by the faring size of the lifting rocket. The two-meter primary on Hubble is about the uppermost limit on the size of the primary with the modern fleet of heavy-lift rockets. Though Starship, New Glenn, and (too a much lesser extent) SLS are looking to change that.
Reltzik
Why bother with satellite photos when half the student body has RutTech on their phones?
Clif
Only half?
Opus the Poet
Think of RuTech as the Apple of the Dumbiverse. Much better technology and software for way too much money.
Reltzik
At least half.
Byron Orpheus
The other half use Ellicott-Chatham technology.
Michael Steamweed
Only half of the student body has RutTech on their phones, but the other half are usually within listening distance of those RutTech phones.
Reltzik
Exactly. No need to lip-read at all, and you can track locations even when it’s cloudy or they go indoors.
jflb96
You can only have geosynchronous orbit over the Equator, and it’s too high up to resolve lips with anything that you could sensibly launch without the budget and/or technology of the Imperium of Man.
You might get lucky if you had something in the right point on its Molniya orbit that it happens to be close enough and pointed in the right direction, but you’d have to be very, very, lucky.
thejeff
I’m not sure reading lips is even theoretically possible. Even from a lower orbit.
Atmospheric distortion is a big problem.
staszu13
Imaging this with Ted Knight doing his Super Friends narration voice
StClair
MEANWHILE AT THE HALL OF JUSTICE
Dark_Panda
Nanodrome swarm, yes. Geosynchronous satellite, no. Geosynchronous satellites can only ever be over the equator, on which Indiana is decidedly not.
(To be perfectly pedantic, a geosync satellite can SEE Indiana, it just cannot be directly overhead.)
Reltzik
But directly overhead is the wrong place to be if you’re trying to read lips.
Animedingo
Honestly fair
RocketRelm
Carla off screen on the other side of campus having an undying urge to scream bottling up in her throat and she doesn’t know why.
staszu13
PAPA!!!
Schpoonman
This is going to end in a double date and Joe very confused as to why three ladies are yelling at him to fawn over Carla.
Reltzik
… who’s the other pair in this double date? Because I can see Becky doing that, but not Dina.
Schpoonman
Carla and Charlie.
Needfuldoer
To be fair, ‘demanding adulation’ is Carla’s default state.
Morleuca
I just can’t picture Charlie yelling at…anybody. Like ever.
Schpoonman
That’s actually a pretty good point. Okay, Carla and Joyce going “Don’t you know how great Carla is!?” with Charlie sitting there asking Joe “Isn’t my girlfriend the best?”
Woof McGee
If this leads to an intervention for Carla’s narcissistic disorder – I’m in. I don’t think anyone calls billionaires out on stuff like that though.
Taffy
BRB, having an intervention for my acquaintance’s autism. Gonna have one for my coworker’s schizophrenia next week, and another for my cousin’s PTSD. Y’know, cuz that’s apparently normal and fine to do if we follow the road you’ve paved here.
Schpoonman
Send the funny van, I’m neurodivergent.
Taffy
And I’ll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats!
StClair
coming to take you away ha ha
Sirksome
I’m sure this means something to people who read Shortpacked.
Taffy
In that comic, Joe and Carla were basically the One True Pairing of the story. They hooked up early on and stayed together for the entire run.
Radiance
Either you’ve mixed up Carla and Rachel or this is some excellent straight-faced trolling.
Taffy
Who the fuck are you callin’ straight?
Rose by Any other Name
Sorry, gay-faced trolling.
Better?
Taffy
Eh, close enough.
staszu13
Straight faced as in not giggling
Taffy
Joke’s on you, I was giggling like an absolute loon when I posted it.
Nono
They didn’t even hook up early on (it was basically endgame), so probably the latter.
Taffy
No, Carla and Rachel never hooked up. They flirted a little bit during that one Christmas party, but nothing came of it.
Tan
What you must understand is that Taffy has never left a genuine comment on this website in the history of ever, because they believe that being an asshole to everyone around them is a worthwhile substitute for humor. It is incredibly tiresome, yet unrelenting.