189

Ack
Posted on April 12, 2014 by David M Willis
Yay, $30k was breached, meaning we're updating every day this coming year!  7-day-a-week-update-schedule is maintained!  Thanks, everyone!  The next stretch goal is reaching $40k so we can print Shortpacked! Book 5.

189 thoughts on “Ack”

  1. Opus the Poet

    Sal has moved on Amber has not.

    1. Tunaro

      You could make a fair argument that Amber is movin’ down that hallway as fast as she can.

      1. Count Dracula

        I ran track in high school, and I can at least remember that Amber is not running in the proper form for sprinting.

        1. Corronchilejano

          She has the “I am a zombie looking for brains” type of running. In certain universes that’s pretty fast.

      2. BrokenEye, True False Prophet

        … while at the same time, Sal is completely unmoved

    2. JeffEpp

      “I set her down at the rivers edge. Are you still caring her?”

      1. No Name

        Zen Pencils or the original source?

    3. Foxhack

      Sal probably has no idea who she is.

      1. showler

        Yeah, we won’t know if Sal has moved on until the topic comes up for her.

  2. DrewK

    Well… that was something.

  3. GoogerGeiger

    Well that was just silly.

  4. Yotomoe

    Sal: What a spazz. Anyway time for me time.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Just her and Wiggler.

      The Mario Kart character. Without context it kinda sounds like she might have a sex toy named Wiggler or something.

      …It’s named Thwomp.

      1. That Damn Rat

        And there I thought all sex toys were named Mr Buzzy.

        1. Gadgeteer Smashwidget

          Mine would be named Mr. Giggles, if I had one. For no other reason than I don’t have to explain things to people on the internet.

        2. Cthulhu21

          I imagin a creepy little abomination that creeps people out when I read this.

        3. asmcint

          Congratulations, you accidentally reminded me of my long-dead cat, and made me think of him in the context of a sex toy for about half a second. Just… God damn it.

        4. Gigafreak

          Well, cat dicks are covered in barbs because bloodletting is part of the cat mating process.

          It’s like “ribbed for her pleasure” taken to its horrifying extreme. “Impale” as a euphemism is usually not this literal.

          A cat-loving friend freaked me out with this information. I must spread my torment.

        5. Nee Hou

          And that’s why Spider Robinson said that female cats are always wary of every Tom, … [Richard] Harry.

        6. John

          A former ladyfriend of mine called hers Bob, for “Battery-Operated Boyfriend”.

  5. Dr. Zeus

    You know, if I got stabbed in the hand I would remember who did it. Then again, I’m not Sal.

    1. Tess

      Sal doesn’t appear to have actually taken a good look at Amber at any point in time. Maybe she would recognize her if she did haha

      Also Sal may have been distracted by the blinding pain and surprise of being stabbed and not ever actually gotten a good look at her attacker. It happens to victims all the time.

      1. Dr. Zeus

        Fair ’nuff. I’d just figured that she’d got a decent look while grabbing Ethan.

        1. Some guy

          Bear in mind that if you look at the comic showing the robbery, Sal is as freaked out as anyone else involved.

    2. Rex Hondo

      She would first have to realize that other people actually exist and/or matter.

    3. Xerxes93

      Maybe Sal is nearsighted and hasn’t realized it.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        So Sal also needs glasses? She should get aviator style ones.

        1. Tunaro

          Mayhaps those shades on her head are actually prescription.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Nice thought, I used to have aviatorish style prescription glasses back when glasses were still effective for me.

        3. Dr. Zeus

          Oh gods, if she got glasses that would just break Danny entirely.

        4. Tunaro

          Danny and at least 2/3 of the folks who read this stuff.

        5. StClair

          Relevant.

        6. StClair

          Also.

    4. Count Dracula

      Amber has a new hair style now. By superhero logic, she is impossible to recognize.

      1. Coru

        But Sal has a new hairstyle too!

      2. Annie

        Naw, it’s not the hair, it’s the glasses. Amber has different frames now so she’s completely incognito to anyone that knew/saw her before she got her current ones.

    5. Eve

      Could be that Sals robbing the store was helped along by a state of inebriation. That’d make the details of someone she only saw once even harder to remember.

    6. timemonkey

      She wasn’t paying attention to Amber during the robbery and likely wasn’t for the arrest. She was blindsided when she got stabbed and Amber was likely dragged away while Sal was still blinded by the pain of the stabbing.

  6. Doctor_Who

    Never noticed the appropriateness of the Clark Wing before.

    At least they aren’t at Kent State.

    1. Opus the Poet

      Dude, Kent State is in Ohio… Didn’t you pay attention to CSNY?

  7. Cholma

    Wow. Way to hold it together, Amber! That’s some serious PTSD there.

  8. KingMabel

    Would you rather they have an epic cat-fight in front of the elevator?

    1. Doctor_Who

      …Have you met us?

    2. Tunaro

      Well, yes, actually. Kinda disappointed that didn’t go through.

    3. Yotomoe

      I would rather have an epic cat-fight IN an elevator.

    4. Kernanator

      …Is this a trick question?

    5. Clif

      Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to.

    6. Drunken Nordmann

      Yes?

    7. Animal

      Yes. But preferably in a giant vat of Jell-O.

    8. Opus the Poet

      What ^ They said.

  9. Kernanator

    Ow, you stabbed me, oh well.

    1. JustCheetoDust

      Maybe that line should be bookended by musical notes.

      1. Jake

        And tore me to pieces.

        And threw every piece into a fire.

  10. newllend

    She going to do that every time she sees her?

    1. JustCheetoDust

      If the next few weeks are a re-hash of today’s strip I’ll remember this comment.

  11. Psycho

    This is cruel, even for you, Willis.

    1. newllend

      Willis:”How am Im going shake up tonights comic strip?…I know I’ll torture Almost everyones favorite character even more! That will do it.”

      What the Hell?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Everybody needs a hobby. 😀

      2. Yotomoe

        He is torturing my favorite character. By not giving Sierra the screen time she deserves!

        1. Ivan

          Sierra? Penny is the way to go. Young, but old enough to do it and REALLY want it (& be damned good at it too).

        2. ninja_jesus

          Sorry, that came off as really creepy for me.

        3. Drunken Nordmann

          I felt my left eyebrow do the Spock thing while reading Ivan’s comment – so you’re not the only one who felt like that.

      3. timemonkey

        Amber is everyone’s favorite character?

        1. newllend

          ALMOST everyone, Well who’s yours? Don’t say Joyce ( I say that though I do check in to mostly see if Ethan leaves her for a guy).

        2. Darkproject8

          Dina….we need more raptors…

        3. timemonkey

          Dorothy is my favorite. Joyce is a close second, with Joe, Sarah and Dina close behind them.

          Amber’s on my list of ‘don’t hate them but wouldn’t be sad if they never showed up again’.

        4. timemonkey

          Also, why couldn’t I name Joyce as my favorite? She was for quite a while.

        5. newllend

          I don’t know, I think I lost all respect for her I felt bad when Ethan was leading her on but know it feels like the other way around.

        6. timemonkey

          She’s being stupid, but with Ethan’s permission. I don’t expect it to last.

        7. begbert2

          I’m not sure you were ever supposed to respect her. However you’re supposed to drown in her cuteness and become saturated with it until your head explodes, I’m pretty sure.

        8. gpoy

          I respect Joyce. Yes she says and does some really dumb shit, but she’s learning and she’s willing to learn. She’s come a long way in a short time, and sometimes I think a lot of commenters don’t realise how badly the sort of upbringing Joyce has had can cripple someone. It takes a long time and a lot of courage to adjust to the real world.

        9. dropded

          Not even top 5.

        10. Opus the Poet

          i’m waiting for more Marcy!

      4. Darth Cariss

        Danny’s my favorite character. He gets tortured a lot.

      5. maxyai

        Where’s the love for Riley? She became my favorite character in the brief time she appeared.

        1. HMRC4EVR

          A lot of folks like Riley, but naming her as favorite might imply negative connotations that could be better off left unsaid.

      6. Nik

        Thinking of the other characters, I wonder how you could torture them.
        Mike would be near impossible, since he’s more of a force of nature in this universe than an actual character.
        Dina just needs to be told that Dinosaurs were a myth.
        Sal would just need more time with her parents.
        For Walky, it’d prolly be all the fast food joints being shut down in a 10 km radius.
        Sarah, Ethan, Billie and Ruthless all are being tortured already.

        1. Opus the Poet

          Not that big a deal. That’s just a 13 mile round trip for lunch. I used to ride (almost) 10 times that to have lunch with my GF when she was in the nursing home. Of course that was basically leaving for lunch right after breakfast, eating as soon as I got there and then having dinner as soon as I got home from lunch. Plus about 2000 Calories in snacks along the way. But 13 miles? No problem!

        2. No Name

          Clarification please:
          Was your GF a resident or an employee?

        3. begbert2

          Telling Dina dinosaurs were a myth wouldn’t torture her; it would just get her fired up. We’ve basically seen it happen. (And it was awesome!)

  12. Giant Speck

    I’m a horrible person because I find her reaction to be slightly comical.

    1. Jay Eff

      *looks at Gravatar*

      Aw, you don’t need to be that embarrassed ’bout it!

      1. EEWWW

        Anyone else want to ship Amber and Sal? Thought so. We are sick, horrible people.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          I would ship them to the MMA.

        2. newllend

          Would they weight class? NO NO really, wouldn’t Amber have more muscle than sal?I bet on amber, really I would put money on that fight.

        3. JustCheetoDust

          With the way some of those fights go in Japan, weight class wouldn’t be an issue.

        4. Drunken Nordmann

          I always thought you were only deemed horrible, if you’re shipping Faz with anyone.

        5. Opus the Poet

          Blaine with Faz as top?

          Does shipping the two characters with the worst characters together multiply two negatives to create a positive?

        6. Drunken Nordmann

          There’s being horrible – and then there’s something I don’t know how to put into words.

    2. Cephalo the Pod

      That pose really strikes me as odd, too. She looks like she’s imitating Dina imitating a dinosaur.

    3. Kevin

      Try running forward with your eyes closed and your arms outstretched at shoulder-level and see if people don’t laugh at you.

  13. Wonder Wig

    Who knew that elevator led to depression.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Lifts are bi-poloar, they have their ups and downs.

      1. Yotomoe

        Dumbwaiter’s are total downers.

        1. KingMabel

          Escalators tend to be either up or down for hours on end.

        2. ninja_jesus

          Stairs usually go both ways.

          Oops, wrong analogy.

  14. MrSirk

    I’m not sure Sal even remembers Amber.

    1. KingMabel

      Maybe her eyes were closed during the entire time she was stabbed?

    2. Yotomoe

      OR MAYBE SHE’S JUST WAITING FOR THE PERFECT TIME TO STRIKE.

  15. Unkind fish

    Sal is rather clueless, isn’t she? She honestly didn’t even recognize the person who stabbed her?

    1. KingMabel

      Maybe she repressed the memory of the person’s face due to shock?

      I’m about 80% sure that it’s a thing that happens…

    2. Some guy

      It was quite a while ago, and Amber wasn’t even the person Sal took hostage. From Sal’s perspective, some random person she barely noticed in the store ran up behind her and stabbed her in the hand, pinning it to the car. By the time she was un-pinned, Amber was probably out of view.

      1. Some guy

        Actually my mistake – she was right there when Sal could look right at her. Never mind – maybe I should have paid more attention to that panel. 😛

        1. Unkind fish

          Wait she pinned her hand to the car?! Sal forgot the face of a person who pinned her hand to a car with a knife? Wow

    3. No Name

      The accepted answer is that it was just a normal day for Sal (minus the stabbing, after which Sal never got a good look at her assailant), but it was a major event for Amber, probably kicking off her parents divorce (we don’t know yet, but I would like to think so)

  16. AJessWitt

    Oh god, they live on the same floor. Amber may need to make her peace pronto.

  17. timemonkey

    So, how many more times is this going to happen before Amber realises Sal doesn’t care about her?

    1. Dr. Zeus

      How many more times before Sal notices the same person freaking out around her?

      1. Yotomoe

        She’s a bad-girl. She’s used to people freaking out around her.

        1. Dr. Zeus

          At this university, however, they seem to fawn over her and write songs about her motorcycle.

        2. newllend

          Someone made a song?

        3. John

          Joyce has written like thirty.

          I think she’s probably exaggerating. Probably she hasn’t really written more than twenty-five or so.

    2. newllend

      Maybe Until Danny or sal confront her about it.

  18. Karfsma778

    I must be an awful person. When I saw this I couldn’t help but laugh a little.

  19. Mattyos

    i wonder how many people actually didn’t pick up on that until now?

  20. Kitschensyngk

    Amazi-Girl versus Sal. It will happen. It MUST happen.

    1. newllend

      I’m conflicted about that, I still say amber but I’m still conflicted…maybe they talk this out?

      1. Ancestral Hamster

        NO! All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good women to do nothing! Amber (as Amazi-Girl) must attack and turn Sal into scraps of flesh on the asphalt. (Of course, in proper comic book fashion Sal will come back somehow … probably as Dark Phoenix, and destroy the Milky Way Galaxy.)

        1. Drunken Nordmann

          Turning someone into scraps of flesh on the asphalt isn’t something superheroes should do – at least the ones not written by Alan Moore.

        2. Amazi-Stool

          It is something that Amber would have done – if Danny hadn’t stopped her!

        3. sarahlost36

          awesome gravatar, but having a doctor in the family makes your nickname be a kind of double entendre, and yes suddenly i am 12 again… hehe

        4. Amazi-Stool

          Credit for the Gravatar (and the Amazi-Stool idea) goes to Brian Daniel (see link).

          And yes, i deliberately chose it to clarify that it really is a seating furniture (questions arose often when Amazi-Stool was mentioned in former comments!)

  21. LiamAldam

    Ooooo watch Amber run into Danny and the plot thickens like Charles Dickens.

  22. theskeuomorph

    To be fair to Sal my attention would also be distracted if my clone walked by me, nonplussed, into the elevator I was waiting for.

    1. Yotomoe

      Noone ever talks about the 3rd Walkerton triplet.

      1. Ancestral Hamster

        Shush! The first rule of Walkerton Triplets is you do not talk about Walkerton Triplets!

      2. John

        Wasn’t she wearing a hoodie dress earlier?

    2. mistrali

      *snort*

      This whole Amber-reacting-to-Sal thing is going to be a problem, isn’t it?

  23. Aeron

    Is the font you used to write Clark Wing called Metropolis by any chance?

    1. David M Willis

      I didn’t use a font, I drew it freehand to mimic how it looks in real life.

      1. Fen_Star

        I am sure someone will correct me, but other than speech bubles does Willis ever use fonts?

        1. David M Willis

          For sound effects.

    2. KingMabel

      I think it’s Gotham Bold.

      1. StClair

        Fitting, then.

  24. Bill

    Amber, honey, take my advice and schedule a visit with CAPS (Counseling and Psychological Services) at the IU Student Health Center.  It’s right across the street from the library where you did your zip-line stunt.

  25. Chico

    ..OH. THE GLOVES. THATS WHY. DUH.

    1. AlpineBob

      Yeah, that finally hit me this update too.

  26. Pyr05

    Run away with arms up in the air like a crazy person!

  27. Calibus

    Seriously. This is some batshit insane PTSD going on. This is a serious Psychosis that could potentially drive her into madness. As grat a character as she is, she has serious fucking issues that need to be addressed for her sake and everyone she loves.

    1. ninja_jesus

      She needs a therapist! They exist now!

      1. Nik

        Yeah, but this is comics. The only time I’ve ever seen a therapist in a comic it was Broodhollow, where the Psychiatrist is… kind of a loveable jerk concerned more about research papers than his patient.

        1. No Name

          You’ve never read QC have you?

    2. AlpineBob

      Potentially?
      Have you noticed a character running around in long underwear and a cape? I think she passed “potentially” a while ago…
      Not that I don’t love Amazigirl, but like Batman, she’s on the far side of normal.

  28. Rabid Rabbit

    For all those wondering why Sal doesn’t recognise Amber, as I recall from the previous flashbacks, when she was stabbed she was facing the police car, so Amber came up behind her. Between that and blinding pain, and not paying attention during the robbery because grabbing closest person while talking to the snarky clerk behind the bulletproof glass, it’s logical enough.

    That being said, I have to admit, panel four… Honestly? This is one time I just think that the art’s… deficient, shall we say. Something about Amber’s design/position/etc just seems off, in a ‘I can see where Willis is going with this, but no’ sort of way. This is not a very common reaction.

  29. Fen_Star

    THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON’T USE THE WINDOW!

    Actually, that could apply to Sal or Amber.

    1. John

      It’s not Amber’s fault that Dina took her grappling hook in order to dispose of Faz.

  30. Hit

    I know she is supposed to be all traumatized but it looks more like she is overacting.
    “You don’t understand what its like to be this fabulous mom! Hwuhuhuhu”

  31. Gka

    Huh. My ex just got into Indiana University for Grad School. Reading this comic just got a whole lot weirder for me.

    1. Clif

      Wait till she shows up in the comic.

  32. Doom Shepherd

    “The day Sal visited your convenience store was the most important day of your life. For Me… It was Tuesday!”

    1. Doom Shepherd

      Dammit.
      “For me… It was Tuesday!”

      1. Doom Shepherd

        Wtf I can’t say it was T-u-e-s-da-y??

        1. Jen Aside

          Too many tired jokes.

        2. David M Willis

          get a new joke

        3. Mr. Random

          Do you use filters… to stop tired jokes?

        4. David M Willis

          YES

        5. ninja_jesus

          That’s… diabolical.

        6. Drunken Nordmann

          This leads to people sounding like they’re killed mid-sentence.

        7. No Name

          Aghh! Not TVTropes!

        8. Random832

          Do you ever take them off? Not being able to say a day of the week will probably get old fast. People have already run into it not being able to point out that someone they saw genuinely looked like a certain former wheeled vehicle that got filtered to stop people from claiming she was Amazi-girl.

        9. David M Willis

          Why in hell would you think I would block just the word “Tuesday”?

        10. Jen Aside

          I’m pretty sure it was the weekend, anyway.

        11. begbert2

          Why block “tuesday”? Why not!

          Heck, if I was wielding such power I would filter the word “the” to
          “teh” just to watch the fun.

        12. showler

          I love that. I’ve been trying to convince some sites to always add the names of sites that post spam to their filters. Post one ad for http://www.we‘recrooks.com and you’d never be able to post a link to that site again.

        13. David M Willis

          That’s generally how website spam filters work already, actually.

        14. Deathjavu

          Can you think of a better use for filters?

        15. Kintrex

          THANK YOU

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      For me… itsa me Mario!

  33. Idon'tcarenomore

    I know Sal is cool, no doubt about it.

    However, if someone reacted that strongly to me … as in screaming hysterics and super speed in the opposite direction..I think I’d just stick my foot out and watch her roll a half a block, and then go pick her up and ask her ‘what in Hell is the matter with you?” I’m curious that way.

    Or, maybe at least make some inquires from any person that I could see that knew her, to see if they knew what the Hell was wrong with her.

    Lot of nuts out there, most aren’t quite as obvious as Amber, which is why I can’t believe that someone hasn’t thrown a rope on her yet.

    1. Heavensrun

      Eh, Sal isn’t looking at her when the door opens. From her perspective, the doors opened, somebody she doesn’t know ran past her. Maybe she saw she was upset, and figured it wasn’t her business, or maybe she didn’t notice she was upset and just assumed she was in a hurry.

  34. TARDIS With A Hat

    I’m confused, why there’s two Sals in that last panel?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      That last panel is in fact two panels, just look at the edges of that so-called “last panel” and you will see what I mean.

    2. Drunken Nordmann

      Now I can’t unsee that – it’s hilarious.

  35. LJoL

    Not sure if all the people who are saying this or similiar things are truly confused or just rehashing the same joke (a la “I’m a fan of Amazi Girl, no clue who this Amber chick you speak of is”). Regardless I will explain for those who are legitimately confused…

    Today’s episode features 5 panels. Panel 1 shows a zoomed out shot of Sal waiting for an elevator. Panel 2 shows a zoomed in shot of Sal with the doors opening – and it features a big bold black box outline for it. Panel 3 shows a flashback in Amber’s head of the robbery. Panel 4 shows a zoomed in shot of Sal watching in confusion as Amber freaks out and runs away and again features a big bold black outline border of it. Panel 5 shows Sal ignoring the freak out to get on the elevator whistling a tune because all is right with her world.

    With the joke being that two people both were involved in the incident, the one that had her hand mutilated so bad she will forever after be forced to wear gloves not reacting at all, while the person who had no harm done to her has severe mental psychosis and extreme example of PTSD going on.

    It’s a tale of two personalities.

    1. Drakkin the Alien

      only author knows if mutilated or not, but for a dark skinned person, stabs are scars for life. Deep cuts like that leave a pale skin stroke drawn there for ever. What i wonder is how come Amber got away with agravated assault…

    2. Amazi-Stool

      I disagree to your explanation of panel 4. Sal does not look in Ambers direction at all.

      In panel 2 Sal looks to the ground. In panel 4 she has noticed that the elevator doors have opened and she looks in the direction of the now open elevator – that is what’s interesting her, not the person who was running out of the elevator.

  36. Rhastia

    What kind of cop restrains an armed person by letting their knife wielding hand flail free? He’s lucky he didn’t also get stabbed.

    1. Bill

      Were you aware that even if you have a person in front of you and you are pointing a gun at them, that person can cover something like eight feet between you and themselves before you can recognize the threat and pull the trigger?  This undoubtedly happened so fast that no one knew what was happening until after it happened.  So now the cop is doing the next best thing he can do and that is to separate the two parties before Amber can get in another cut or slash.  Remember too that there was at least one other officer on the scene (as shown here), so believe me when I say that Amber was more than likely disarmed and face-down on the ground within another two seconds.

    2. Amazi-Stool

      Appropriate gravatar for that comment!

      And the link Bill has provided shows more absurd police behaviour.

      Why is the other cop “serving” the knife in Sal’s direction? And where is he looking at?

  37. Mcmindflayer

    As much as I understand that Willis, forever may he be damned, controls time within the comic, If Amber had just been 5 minutes faster…

  38. GenericGuestName

    I feel like a horrible person now. I read this and then just started laughing before I could stop myself. I just envision Amber running out of the elevator waving her hands in the air like a muppet making muppet sobbing noises while Sal just blissfully ignores her.

    1. none too far

      Haha, yes! I imagine that exact same thing.

      1. none too far

        Er, imagined. I imagined the same thing.

  39. Laurie

    Oh! That’s why she wears gloves, isn’t it? Does she have an awesome scar?

    1. No Name

      In answer to your questions:
      Yes, it has been established (an archive binge is recommended if you haven’t already)
      As of yet, we have no idea. Willis is evil that way.

  40. Lord Smooze

    I wonder if her scar is why Sal wears gloves all the time.

  41. NotFred

    Sal’s sheet of paper changed hands in the last panel.

  42. Usayasha

    Funny, my school has a Clark Hall, too.
    And a Bruce Hall.
    And a Bane Hall.
    And a West Hall.
    The neighboring college has a Stark Tower.

    …do I live in a webcomic?

  43. nothri

    And thus we see Amber’s morning routine every day for the whole semester…

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