Greetings fellow ace/gray. It is nice seeing some representation. Sometimes I wonder if people even know that we exist. I was doing a health survey the other day, and it felt like they had every other option but that.
Greetings! And yeah, that can be so incredibly frustrating. I remember the first time I met another ace person in.. well, person (at an anime convention nearly a decade ago) and I almost cried because I’d felt like the only one.
Weirdly enough, I know several IRL now! We still don’t have enough visibility, but I’m glad more people are slowly learning it’s a thing, which means more people finding the words to describe themselves.
I still remember reading one of the Missing Moments from Sister Claire (the one where Catharine questions whether or not she can love and be loved to Maman) and realizing “wait, that’s ME! There’s a word for this? I’m not some weird broken monster who doesn’t feel love because I don’t care about sex in the slightest!?”
It sounds silly, but having that knowledge really changed so much for me. It even made it easier for me to approach the idea of sex with the understanding that I could engage in it out of love rather than desire or need and that was something okay and not weird or manipulative. Knowing that it was okay to approach it as a logical thing rather than a hormonal thing (“gee, we haven’t done the sex in awhile; I bet husband would like it if we did; let’s plan when would be a good time for it”) and just having that language and knowledge available for husband and I to understand it isn’t a lack of love, just a lack of need.
I think being asexual means that we end up in a ‘gap’ of sorts compared to all the other letters. A person being lesbian or gay means that you can basically ‘swap out’ who that person is sexually attracted to, and that makes sense (for the most part) for the heteronormative perspective that usually ends up making such forms and surveys. There’s some way to ‘replace’ the expected norm.
Being ace puts you in a sort of null category, especially if you have complete zero interest. It’s like how most people in my day to day life have no clue that i’m asexual, because why bother bringing up a complete lack of interest in sex. It’ll be like sharing my complete lack of interest in lacrosse. It basically boils down to, ‘You know that thing you like doing with your partner. I don’t care about doing it whatsoever, and i’ve got nothing further to say about it.’
That seems to be soooo often in surveys. One of my friends fills out a lot of surveys and keeps screenshotting every instance of “they wouldn’t let me have an option that fits me being ace”…. why can people not grasp that a) not everyone has or wants a sex life, b) that even ace people might actually enjoy sex with their partner anyway. It seems contradictory only until people actually understand the nuances.
Very genuine question: it is fun to make them hot and bothered but then what happens? Seems like one of the the parties would have to do something they rather wouldn’t (or not do something they’d very much want to).
Some not all ace people are sex-repulsed. Some like sex as a connection to their partner. Some like sex as a physically pleasing activity, or mentally pleasing/satisfying (sometimes-not-always, could involve kink). Some may like it for other reasons. Some may not necessarily describe themselves as liking it, but may not mind having sex, for various reasons. (And yes, some asexual people do not want to have sex– just bringing that group up again because I think sometimes they get pushed to the side with the “asexuals and sex” talk.)
Ignore the first “some.” Apparently I was just too excited to start using the word.
(Also, a detail in my dreams last night was that we could now edit comments on here. I’m just waking up, so kind of disappointing that’s not true.)
As someone who’s been on the receiving side of this exact situation, it can make the other party frustrated when eventual consummation is not on the table. Feelings of guilt for wanting something from your partner that they just can’t provide are also basically impossible to shake. Dina & Becky seem to have a happy dynamic but I wouldn’t expect it to be typical at all.
How is it aphobic? They’re expressing how it felt to be in a situation that they actually experienced, and didn’t say anything about ace being bad or negative.
It’s also an experience that is not unique to (or even typical of) of dating an ace person. Lots of relationships have issues of sexual incompatibility due to mismatched levels of sex drive or conflicting kinks and boundaries. It’s like saying polyamorous relationships always seem to end in a mess. It’s attributing a negative trait to a stigmatized, underrepresented group when the negative trait is actually extremely common in the mainstream, accepted group.
Not all asexuals are sex-repulsed. In particular demisexuals (a.k.a. gray-ace) may enjoy sex within particular contexts, generally with people with whom they otherwise have a connection. There are also those who may not enjoy sex where things are done to them but do enjoy sex where they are doing things to their partner, or may not enjoy vanilla sex but do enjoy kink, or may not enjoy sex at all but would enjoy watching their partner masturbate for them. Ultimately this is the sort of thing that needs to be a discussion between the two (or more) partners about what falls into the categories of “I want that” vs “I don’t mind that” vs “I’d prefer not that” for everyone. Which honestly should be a discussion between allosexuals too anyway.
Huh. I might be within that grey area. Sex to me, is only with partners I have a very deep emotional connection to. The interest is there all around, really, but I won’t act on it. With anyone I am not close to, it becomes almost an intellectual exercise in thought, that I will not act on. Huh. Pretty wild, honestly.
No one can define you but you, but that sounds a bit different than what people usually mean by grey ace or demisexual. A lot of allosexual people won’t have sex unless it’s someone they have a strong emotional connection to; with grey/demi, it may be more that they don’t experience sexual attraction at all until there is that connection. One’s orientation is a different category than one’s actions.
As it’s already been said, not all of us dislike sex. Sex is fun for me! It’s like Cuddles+, plus it’s exercise, plus it’s a way to bond with my partner. Ace people with high libidos still exist (hi). We aren’t a monolith any more than allosexuals are
I’m similar to Dina but with slightly higher levels of “self-motivated” interest. (though I’ve realized after reading a lot of ace or grey ace posting that a lot of my “self-motivated” interest is still based on a perception that the person involved would be actively interested in the specific subgenres of things I find interesting/can provide)
Like, here’s a summary of how one vector of attraction/action works for my specific category of grey ace.
If someone I already like for emotional/intellectual reasons gets hot and bothered around me, my brain kinda goes “are the things they want things that are interesting or at least not UNINTERESTING?” “are our styles compatible?” and if yes, I get this kind of like… reciprocal effect where the thought of how they feel (or are going to feel) makes me feel things.
Becky’s whole “wants something but is conflicted about asking for it/not certain how they come across” is actually especially fun because it gives a lot of dynamics to play with. Dina responds to this with a “Science” model, but I’ve seen a bunch of other things that are related, and could easily be channeled through art or other metaphors.
(This is not universal, and in fact for some people it works the opposite, but one thing I have in common with Dina’s attraction vector is that it’s more fun when I default to formally initiating in response to someone else’s informal/ambient interest, because it means I won’t be expected to be ‘on’ when I’m not in the mode. Similarly, when someone else enjoys/responds positively to ‘direction’ or ‘requests’, as we see Becky do here, it allows me to steer things in a direction i’ll enjoy while also allowing me the stimulation of doing ‘science’ and responding to the other person’s reactions.)
There’s also a popular food metaphor for being ace/grey ace, and I have my own version of THAT that might help others understand this kind of situation.
Think of it this way: there’s a dish you can cook well. It’s not your favorite, but it’s nutritious and you like eating it when it’s around, even if it would never occur to you to make it unless someone asked.
But you know your friend likes it, and they will go INSANE for how good your version of it is. That makes me more likely to cook it, and while I’m cooking it I have kind of a “hehe, this is going to blow their mind” thought process that is different than the thought process I’d have if I was making it just because it’s the only thing I happened to have ingredients for.
And like, I like this dish! I’d enjoy eating it either way. But eating it after making it for someone else and seeing them go insane for it is better than taking out some convenience leftovers of it you made and eating them alone.
For me most of the time, sexy stuff is about as appealing as a forgotten contained of still edible food in the back of your freezer. Not repulsive, but not inherently appetizing.
But when grey ace powers activate, it’s like eating a fresh meal you know you made perfectly with a friend who is going to like it SO MUCH.
That food metaphor is really nice. I actually hadn’t heard it before. It also works on the creative aspect as well. Say you have a friend that absolutely adores pies, but you are not really a pie fan. You can use the opportunity to try a whole bunch of different pie recipes, and maybe find one you like. You won’t feel like you are wasting anything because your friend loves any and all pie and you like to see them happy. It gives you an opportunity to maybe find out that it was something like a texture issue with the apples, and that thinly sliced apples work better for you. That doesn’t mean that it has to be your favorite. Either way, you still get joy and pleasure from making someone you care about happy. Part of that is just having someone appreciate your efforts, rather than just taking it for granted or expected. It comes across different if someone goes “Oh great, pie! I love pie!” vs “Where is my pie?”. The first one makes me want to make them all the pie just to see their excited reaction, while the second makes me want to tell them to go make their own pie.
Lol nice, I’m fluxed into a place where I deeply dislike the idea of being sexually attractive rn but my boyfriend (grey ace, Demi ro) is like that. He always loved teasing people just for fun. We’re open so I just told him “go nuts, make some girl suffer”
She’s that in the sense that she enjoys doing things to Becky in a way that makes Becky feel good but Dina isn’t really too concerned about pleasuring herself.
Nah, this cold-cut is just cruel. The thought of Dorothy and Joe’s conversation was highly anticipated and the sudden cutaway to Dina & co has left me devastated.
Setting up the situation of Dina and Becky when Dorothy and Joe interrupt them to ask for their help on the diagramming of Joyce’s body and sexual stimulations. Dina and Becky agree to help, but Dina determines they must try out all the items first. To properly assess their effectiveness. (and a full 500+ pages is gonna takes some time to go through)
“Hey, Dina, can you try all these 500+ items out on Becky? Several times each? I need them ranked in terms of effectiveness.”
“This sounds like proper scientific practice. I approve. We will contribute. Will we receive co-authorship of any publishing?”
I really enjoy Dina’s recent behavior a lot. She’s completely unbothered, without seeming insensitive. Like, you can tell she’s paying attention to Becky’s insecurity, but she’s not letting it lead the relationship.
And she does it without devolving into a Big Feelings Speech™, which is even better. A couple of sentences of clear, concise communication that still feels casual and she’s set.
I want to be Dina when I grow up. She’s unsure of things like everyone is sometimes, she’s got her problems in life, but in her relationship with Becky, she is pitch perfect. She’s self aware, considerate, and open minded. Which we see with others too, like Joyce and Charlie. She’s just the cat’s pajamas.
Many ace folks seem to be, for more or less exactly this reason. Rewiring someone else when they are unable to do the same to you feels awesomely powerful.
A couple of ace-ish friends of mine are very good domme types with their subs. They apply the reverse I.T. approach: “Have you tried turning them on and then off again?”
Even as an adult Hey Arnold still holds up. That show’s got layers, like an onion (or an ogre). I can rewatch pretty much every episode now without feeling like I’m watching “a kid’s show”. It’s like King of the Hill for kids.
Recess is another one that’s still worth rewatching for more than just nostalgia.There’s an entire episode that summarizes the concentration of wealth and its consequences in under 10 minutes.
I’m surprised to see so many comments here that are just now seeing Dina as Domme-ish. She’s been D to Becky’s s nearly from the beginning, and the whole relationship is simply adorable. One of my favorite DoA sequences is her “me vs. God” seduction of Becky, starting at https://www.dumbingofage.com/2022/comic/book-12/03-trial-and-sarah/seducing/
Dina looks childish, and often acts child-like, but she is very very smart and also wise and kind. I think she’s my favorite DoA character.
It’s pretty weird how emotionally detached Dina is, but for Becky that probably hits her “authority figure taking away responsibility from me” buttons.
I don’t see it as being emotionally detached and more just not showing her emotions on her facial expression which is pretty common on autistic people.
what you can ‘pants’ we call ‘underpants’/’underwear’/’undies’/’panties’ and a few others varying by region (in some places ‘panties’ is only for kids’ underclothes, but in my area it’s generally used for women’s underwear, and ‘undies’ is used exclusively for kid’s underclothes, and men’s are usually called whatever specific cut they are (boxers/briefs/boxer briefs/etc)
Pet play between these two is like
Dina: “Tell me, which clade was the one that domineered the terrestrial ecosystems for 150my?”
Becky: “Wh-huh?”
Dina: “Which animals dominated the Earth, Becky?”
Becky: “T-the dinosaurs?”
Dina: “Good girl.”
Now I’m thinking about that. Dorothy and Walky did it fairly often in Season 1. Dina said the same about Amber and Danny. Ruth and Billie seemed to only fight and fuck. Amber and Walky never got it in, even though they were immensely horny for each other. Mary and Peter made out a lot but I doubt they shagged.
When it comes to Slipshine specifically, Amazi-Girl/Danny had 2 stories and some pinups. Same for Billie/Ruth. Dorothy/Walky had 1 story and a pinup or two. Dina/Becky has 1 story so far and I’m not sure about pinups. All the others are basically one-shots, from what I remember. But the majority of Slipshine stories are from Season 1.
So currently, yes, I think Becky and Dina are the most active couple at the moment. Dorothy/Walky 2 has a good chance of catching up, but I don’t think they have yet. Purely by percentage and time, Lucy/Jacob might match them, but who knows how long that’ll last. Ruth/Jason is a curiosity to me, but I don’t think they’ve fucked, that we know of. Malaya/Marcie is also an enigma. Joyce and Joe, once the cork is out of the bottle, might destroy the entire building, but that’s only a potential future, not the present.
You’ve probably heard of more the spectrum of genered sexual attractions, like attraction to men vs women (hetero men and lesbians attracted to women, bisexuals attracted to both men & women, hetero women and gays attracted to men, with various grays of “I’ll make exception for…” in between… because everyone likes David Bowie).
These are widely called out and people know what they are. However, you may have noticed that completely independent of this spectrum, there’s another two spectrums:
Ever notice that some people fall in love and are easy to get in bed, while some people look at the abstinence of monks or nuns and think that it sounds great? That some people are teases but never put out, and some people don’t want to get attached but jump in bed with anything that moves?
These are part of the romantic and sexual attraction spectrums.
So imagine genetics (also epigentics) has a soundboard where you can slide the volume or pitch of various things (this is actually really close to the truth! Genetics has a lot of switch on/off equivalents, but also a lot of sliders equivalents!)
You have one “slider” that’s “attracted to boy ….. attracted to girl” (A guysexual to girlsexual slider, or gender-sexual preference, if you will, though people like to rename it depending on the person’s gender, which is kinda silly)
There’s another that’s “likes romance & dating & connection….. hates romance & dating & connection”
You have another slider that’s “Likes to f*ck….. Hates to f*ck.”
The second to are the aromantic and arosexual spectrums specifically. (Often shortened to aro and ace respectively).
Each one’s equivilent to
“guys….bi….girls”
is
“hyper… allo….demi…ace/aro” (allo being what people are ‘used to’)
Generally, the pattern when talking about both is to put the romance part first.
So, for some more extreme examples to make the point:
So that tease who loves to tease, date lots of people, and falls in love easily, but never puts out? Instead of all those words, simply “Hyper-Ace”. That person who never commits, and posts on their dating profile, “Down to f’ck, no strings attached?” Aro-Hyper.
Falls in love and stays in love and gets deeply passionate like in a lot of romance novels? Hyper-Hyper.
Classic Hallmark movie romance? Allo-Allo
That aloof person who finally settled down after being single forever and not looking, but seems more concerned about their career than their relationship? Probably Demi-demi.
The ‘crazy cat lady’ with twenty kitties and no signficant others, or the old hermit in the woods with seven large dogs? Probably aroace.
Also, just because someone doesn’t want romance or sex, doesn’t mean they don’t want human friendship. Humans are social creatures, afterall. Many aroace people hook up with other aroace people, and just have a lifelong platonic friendship with resource sharing, or hook up with someone who they like in a non-romantic/non-sexual way, but still have romance and sex with the person more as a gift to them than actually getting any personal pleasure out of it. The list of nuance goes on, but I hope that’s a good overview.
For me, the game-changer was realizing that the ace spectrum was a completely separate spectrum… I originally thought it was just another axis on the gay-straight spectrum.
But yeah, that’s kind of how I figured out I’m a little Ace… I think the closest would be Demisexual, but it’s something I’m still working out in my head-matter under my skull.
Aww! Carla and Charlie are both ace? That’s awesome! The dating scene can be very hard to navigate when ace. My college partner was allo with a high libido. I identify as demi, but for that and several other reasons, we just didn’t last past college. Now my current partner is allo, but he has a low libido. I’ll never feel pressured with him.
Been on a PTSD kick the past 2 months now and this strip (like anything related to the sexual spectra) makes me feel like puking. Not that being ace or being gay or being gals or being demi or anything in this strip is pukeworthy! Just that everything related to that spectrum is triggering right now. It’s like being “unstuck in time”. Like Billy Pilgrim, in “Slaughterhouse 5.” Like living in two timelines at once, but mostly in the past.
…Bizarre world…
What is with the desire to categorise? Just because, in this instance, Dina issued an instruction and Becky chose to comply, that makes them Dom and Sub? Bollocks, I say.
Dina clearly wears the pants in this relationship. And that’ll be doubly true in about 5 seconds.
This made me laugh. Thank you.
True, but not the second statement.
Why else would Dina tell her to take off her pants other than to put them on, effectively doubling her pantsedness?
Not a relationship dynamic I had previously imagined for these two. But now the only relationship dynamic I can imagine for these two. 😀
“Dina wears the pants.” It’ll both figuratively, and literally, true. Pretty sure that’s what the good doctor was going for with “doubly”.
As an ace (or very very demi-gray… hard to tell), being able to make my partner hot and bothered is fun af. I get where she’s coming from, lmao
Greetings fellow ace/gray. It is nice seeing some representation. Sometimes I wonder if people even know that we exist. I was doing a health survey the other day, and it felt like they had every other option but that.
Greetings! And yeah, that can be so incredibly frustrating. I remember the first time I met another ace person in.. well, person (at an anime convention nearly a decade ago) and I almost cried because I’d felt like the only one.
Weirdly enough, I know several IRL now! We still don’t have enough visibility, but I’m glad more people are slowly learning it’s a thing, which means more people finding the words to describe themselves.
I still remember reading one of the Missing Moments from Sister Claire (the one where Catharine questions whether or not she can love and be loved to Maman) and realizing “wait, that’s ME! There’s a word for this? I’m not some weird broken monster who doesn’t feel love because I don’t care about sex in the slightest!?”
It sounds silly, but having that knowledge really changed so much for me. It even made it easier for me to approach the idea of sex with the understanding that I could engage in it out of love rather than desire or need and that was something okay and not weird or manipulative. Knowing that it was okay to approach it as a logical thing rather than a hormonal thing (“gee, we haven’t done the sex in awhile; I bet husband would like it if we did; let’s plan when would be a good time for it”) and just having that language and knowledge available for husband and I to understand it isn’t a lack of love, just a lack of need.
I think being asexual means that we end up in a ‘gap’ of sorts compared to all the other letters. A person being lesbian or gay means that you can basically ‘swap out’ who that person is sexually attracted to, and that makes sense (for the most part) for the heteronormative perspective that usually ends up making such forms and surveys. There’s some way to ‘replace’ the expected norm.
Being ace puts you in a sort of null category, especially if you have complete zero interest. It’s like how most people in my day to day life have no clue that i’m asexual, because why bother bringing up a complete lack of interest in sex. It’ll be like sharing my complete lack of interest in lacrosse. It basically boils down to, ‘You know that thing you like doing with your partner. I don’t care about doing it whatsoever, and i’ve got nothing further to say about it.’
Yeah, I have a good friend who I thought for a looong time just too busy/unlucky to find a partner, and it was just not a topic that came up.
That seems to be soooo often in surveys. One of my friends fills out a lot of surveys and keeps screenshotting every instance of “they wouldn’t let me have an option that fits me being ace”…. why can people not grasp that a) not everyone has or wants a sex life, b) that even ace people might actually enjoy sex with their partner anyway. It seems contradictory only until people actually understand the nuances.
Very genuine question: it is fun to make them hot and bothered but then what happens? Seems like one of the the parties would have to do something they rather wouldn’t (or not do something they’d very much want to).
Some not all ace people are sex-repulsed. Some like sex as a connection to their partner. Some like sex as a physically pleasing activity, or mentally pleasing/satisfying (sometimes-not-always, could involve kink). Some may like it for other reasons. Some may not necessarily describe themselves as liking it, but may not mind having sex, for various reasons. (And yes, some asexual people do not want to have sex– just bringing that group up again because I think sometimes they get pushed to the side with the “asexuals and sex” talk.)
There’s a lot of ways a person can relate to sex.
Ignore the first “some.” Apparently I was just too excited to start using the word.
(Also, a detail in my dreams last night was that we could now edit comments on here. I’m just waking up, so kind of disappointing that’s not true.)
You dare tease us about editing comments here?!
Such cruelty! Such torture!
As someone who’s been on the receiving side of this exact situation, it can make the other party frustrated when eventual consummation is not on the table. Feelings of guilt for wanting something from your partner that they just can’t provide are also basically impossible to shake. Dina & Becky seem to have a happy dynamic but I wouldn’t expect it to be typical at all.
That’s kind of an aphobic assumption to make tbh
How is it aphobic? They’re expressing how it felt to be in a situation that they actually experienced, and didn’t say anything about ace being bad or negative.
Maybe read through the whole comment? It goes past their personal experience.
They don’t expect relationships where one partner is ace to have a happy dynamic typically? how is that NOT aphobic?
It’s also an experience that is not unique to (or even typical of) of dating an ace person. Lots of relationships have issues of sexual incompatibility due to mismatched levels of sex drive or conflicting kinks and boundaries. It’s like saying polyamorous relationships always seem to end in a mess. It’s attributing a negative trait to a stigmatized, underrepresented group when the negative trait is actually extremely common in the mainstream, accepted group.
Not all asexuals are sex-repulsed. In particular demisexuals (a.k.a. gray-ace) may enjoy sex within particular contexts, generally with people with whom they otherwise have a connection. There are also those who may not enjoy sex where things are done to them but do enjoy sex where they are doing things to their partner, or may not enjoy vanilla sex but do enjoy kink, or may not enjoy sex at all but would enjoy watching their partner masturbate for them. Ultimately this is the sort of thing that needs to be a discussion between the two (or more) partners about what falls into the categories of “I want that” vs “I don’t mind that” vs “I’d prefer not that” for everyone. Which honestly should be a discussion between allosexuals too anyway.
Huh. I might be within that grey area. Sex to me, is only with partners I have a very deep emotional connection to. The interest is there all around, really, but I won’t act on it. With anyone I am not close to, it becomes almost an intellectual exercise in thought, that I will not act on. Huh. Pretty wild, honestly.
No one can define you but you, but that sounds a bit different than what people usually mean by grey ace or demisexual. A lot of allosexual people won’t have sex unless it’s someone they have a strong emotional connection to; with grey/demi, it may be more that they don’t experience sexual attraction at all until there is that connection. One’s orientation is a different category than one’s actions.
As it’s already been said, not all of us dislike sex. Sex is fun for me! It’s like Cuddles+, plus it’s exercise, plus it’s a way to bond with my partner. Ace people with high libidos still exist (hi). We aren’t a monolith any more than allosexuals are
I’m similar to Dina but with slightly higher levels of “self-motivated” interest. (though I’ve realized after reading a lot of ace or grey ace posting that a lot of my “self-motivated” interest is still based on a perception that the person involved would be actively interested in the specific subgenres of things I find interesting/can provide)
Like, here’s a summary of how one vector of attraction/action works for my specific category of grey ace.
If someone I already like for emotional/intellectual reasons gets hot and bothered around me, my brain kinda goes “are the things they want things that are interesting or at least not UNINTERESTING?” “are our styles compatible?” and if yes, I get this kind of like… reciprocal effect where the thought of how they feel (or are going to feel) makes me feel things.
Becky’s whole “wants something but is conflicted about asking for it/not certain how they come across” is actually especially fun because it gives a lot of dynamics to play with. Dina responds to this with a “Science” model, but I’ve seen a bunch of other things that are related, and could easily be channeled through art or other metaphors.
(This is not universal, and in fact for some people it works the opposite, but one thing I have in common with Dina’s attraction vector is that it’s more fun when I default to formally initiating in response to someone else’s informal/ambient interest, because it means I won’t be expected to be ‘on’ when I’m not in the mode. Similarly, when someone else enjoys/responds positively to ‘direction’ or ‘requests’, as we see Becky do here, it allows me to steer things in a direction i’ll enjoy while also allowing me the stimulation of doing ‘science’ and responding to the other person’s reactions.)
There’s also a popular food metaphor for being ace/grey ace, and I have my own version of THAT that might help others understand this kind of situation.
Think of it this way: there’s a dish you can cook well. It’s not your favorite, but it’s nutritious and you like eating it when it’s around, even if it would never occur to you to make it unless someone asked.
But you know your friend likes it, and they will go INSANE for how good your version of it is. That makes me more likely to cook it, and while I’m cooking it I have kind of a “hehe, this is going to blow their mind” thought process that is different than the thought process I’d have if I was making it just because it’s the only thing I happened to have ingredients for.
And like, I like this dish! I’d enjoy eating it either way. But eating it after making it for someone else and seeing them go insane for it is better than taking out some convenience leftovers of it you made and eating them alone.
For me most of the time, sexy stuff is about as appealing as a forgotten contained of still edible food in the back of your freezer. Not repulsive, but not inherently appetizing.
But when grey ace powers activate, it’s like eating a fresh meal you know you made perfectly with a friend who is going to like it SO MUCH.
That food metaphor is really nice. I actually hadn’t heard it before. It also works on the creative aspect as well. Say you have a friend that absolutely adores pies, but you are not really a pie fan. You can use the opportunity to try a whole bunch of different pie recipes, and maybe find one you like. You won’t feel like you are wasting anything because your friend loves any and all pie and you like to see them happy. It gives you an opportunity to maybe find out that it was something like a texture issue with the apples, and that thinly sliced apples work better for you. That doesn’t mean that it has to be your favorite. Either way, you still get joy and pleasure from making someone you care about happy. Part of that is just having someone appreciate your efforts, rather than just taking it for granted or expected. It comes across different if someone goes “Oh great, pie! I love pie!” vs “Where is my pie?”. The first one makes me want to make them all the pie just to see their excited reaction, while the second makes me want to tell them to go make their own pie.
Lol nice, I’m fluxed into a place where I deeply dislike the idea of being sexually attractive rn but my boyfriend (grey ace, Demi ro) is like that. He always loved teasing people just for fun. We’re open so I just told him “go nuts, make some girl suffer”
Lol, I love that for him
As a pretty regular horny dude, being able to make my partner hot and bothered is also fun af.
Dina needs a hard sub and Charlie is neutral at best.
It’s true, she’s quite the connoisseur of bootleg anime tapes. Downloading MKVs just takes all the fun out of it, y’know?
So, Dina is a ‘service'(?) top 8D; I guess we already knew that tho lol
I really don’t know where you got that impression.
She’s that in the sense that she enjoys doing things to Becky in a way that makes Becky feel good but Dina isn’t really too concerned about pleasuring herself.
Tyrannoservice Rex.
I thought she was a pleasure domme, but I can see her being a service top, too. (lotta overlap there)
Gallaso certainly has subs last time i checked
Wish i could get a roast beef there.
beef’s alive in this universe, you have to go to It’s Walky if you want roast beef
Gallaso’s Pizzas (and Subs)!
Becky and Jason work there. This checks out.
So, who’s the pizza?
Becky the Sub; Dina the Pizza.
Jason the Sub; Ruth the Pizza.
Yeah, it does check out. 🙂
Dina being a confident top is absolutely incredible
Love this for her
love dares you to change (your pants)
Love dares you to change (out of your pants)
i’m glad Dina’s having fun
+1
A lot of difference from the last 2 strips…
Especially considering the implied “strip”
Dina is the perfect partner
straight. . . well, not straight, but to the point.
Pants euphoria process commencing.
Nah, this cold-cut is just cruel. The thought of Dorothy and Joe’s conversation was highly anticipated and the sudden cutaway to Dina & co has left me devastated.
Do you think Willis thought far enough ahead to have Joe actually participate in no nut november in real time? I am questioning and giggling.
I’m sure it’ll circle back around
@ghlola: well tbf his ‘buffer’ is like a whole year ahead lol
I mean, it is, but he also knows the exact date that his strips will publish.
Setting up the situation of Dina and Becky when Dorothy and Joe interrupt them to ask for their help on the diagramming of Joyce’s body and sexual stimulations. Dina and Becky agree to help, but Dina determines they must try out all the items first. To properly assess their effectiveness. (and a full 500+ pages is gonna takes some time to go through)
No question who’s the dino Dom here XD
Dina strips are always a pleasure ^^ <3
And Becky stripping is a pleasure to her.
And we learn more about Charlie!
At least today’s strip is little ray of sunshine when my arm hurts like hell. Currently drowning my pain in ice and cherry garcia :,)
So sorry to hear your arm hurts! I hope it feels better soon!
;-; thanks
And yet it is Becky doing the stripping…
maybe dorothy should bring dina in for the list lol
“Hey, Dina, can you try all these 500+ items out on Becky? Several times each? I need them ranked in terms of effectiveness.”
“This sounds like proper scientific practice. I approve. We will contribute. Will we receive co-authorship of any publishing?”
Go Dina Go!
Becky is just so sure that Dina will end up leaving her too. 🙁
Poor Becky still has some (lots) insecurity in her. Fortunately, Dina is understanding, patient, and working on it.
dina, wrangler of becky
Becky likes to be told what to do, ya think?
I really enjoy Dina’s recent behavior a lot. She’s completely unbothered, without seeming insensitive. Like, you can tell she’s paying attention to Becky’s insecurity, but she’s not letting it lead the relationship.
Yeah, she acknowledges Becky’s insecurities and respects them, but she doesn’t feed them. She doesn’t mind giving affirmation. They are a good match.
And she does it without devolving into a Big Feelings Speech™, which is even better. A couple of sentences of clear, concise communication that still feels casual and she’s set.
I want to be Dina when I grow up. She’s unsure of things like everyone is sometimes, she’s got her problems in life, but in her relationship with Becky, she is pitch perfect. She’s self aware, considerate, and open minded. Which we see with others too, like Joyce and Charlie. She’s just the cat’s pajamas.
Perhaps Becky should invest in some tearaway pants for extra-quick removal.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/kazam/ not sure she needs it… (“A tear-a-what-now?”)
That Becky face. Also dina giving off the domme vibes. Nice
Dom Dom Dina, dom dom de-dom-dom.
Dina’s a top? Whoa.
Many ace folks seem to be, for more or less exactly this reason. Rewiring someone else when they are unable to do the same to you feels awesomely powerful.
A couple of ace-ish friends of mine are very good domme types with their subs. They apply the reverse I.T. approach: “Have you tried turning them on and then off again?”
Heavy petting and then you blare a train horn in their ear.
im pav-lovin’ it!
Mastery of the Dom Voice at such a young age…
I mean, not really
Dina’s definitely just saying that in her normal tone
And Becky would do it no matter how she said it
I really wish I knew what she sounded like.
Actually all of the main cast for that matter.
I mentally use something close to Anndi McAffe’s Phoebe Heyerdahl voice from Hey Arnold for Dina.
Characters without their own voice actor are all voiced by Hank Azaria, Frank Welker, and/or Jennifer Hale.
I looked up some clips of that character for reference (never seen the show), and this one in particular is extremely Dina-pilled. You’ve sold me.
Even as an adult Hey Arnold still holds up. That show’s got layers, like an onion (or an ogre). I can rewatch pretty much every episode now without feeling like I’m watching “a kid’s show”. It’s like King of the Hill for kids.
Recess is another one that’s still worth rewatching for more than just nostalgia.There’s an entire episode that summarizes the concentration of wealth and its consequences in under 10 minutes.
Agreed! The Weekenders and Fillmore! are on my list as well. Tino was my representation for anxiety as a kid.
I’m a 90’s chick, for reals Hey Arnold and Recess! are in my DNA.
I showed an episode of Hey Arnold! to my students last year; most weren’t familiar, and one was like, “Oh, that was my mom’s favorite show!”
“Okay, everyone, time to watch Kyle’s mom’s favorite show.”
I think Dina has Aubrey Plaza’s voice.
I’m surprised to see so many comments here that are just now seeing Dina as Domme-ish. She’s been D to Becky’s s nearly from the beginning, and the whole relationship is simply adorable. One of my favorite DoA sequences is her “me vs. God” seduction of Becky, starting at https://www.dumbingofage.com/2022/comic/book-12/03-trial-and-sarah/seducing/
Dina looks childish, and often acts child-like, but she is very very smart and also wise and kind. I think she’s my favorite DoA character.
Dina could beat any Bene Gesserit at their own game
There are few things better than a strip filled with Becky expressions
Name one.
A Carla strip, though that’s subjective and by a narrow margin
Two strips filled with Becky expressions.
Holy SHIT Dina.
Becky hit the jackpot with this one.
Well, I guess we conclusively know the dynamic now.
It’s pretty weird to me, but I guess it works for them.
It’s pretty weird how emotionally detached Dina is, but for Becky that probably hits her “authority figure taking away responsibility from me” buttons.
I don’t see it as being emotionally detached and more just not showing her emotions on her facial expression which is pretty common on autistic people.
Dina is in no way emotionally detached and this strip in particular is an example of that.
Wait… that means trousers in the USA?
They’ll get around to pants in due course.
Yes. (Usually.)
what you can ‘pants’ we call ‘underpants’/’underwear’/’undies’/’panties’ and a few others varying by region (in some places ‘panties’ is only for kids’ underclothes, but in my area it’s generally used for women’s underwear, and ‘undies’ is used exclusively for kid’s underclothes, and men’s are usually called whatever specific cut they are (boxers/briefs/boxer briefs/etc)
They’re the wrong trousers. As in, Becky was still wearing them.
Ooh, a script for a DoA film made by Aardman!
Yes. “Pants” are “trousers”. Not “underwear”. But this strip (heehee) works either way. “Becky, remove your lower clothing. All of it.” 🙂
Pet play between these two is like
Dina: “Tell me, which clade was the one that domineered the terrestrial ecosystems for 150my?”
Becky: “Wh-huh?”
Dina: “Which animals dominated the Earth, Becky?”
Becky: “T-the dinosaurs?”
Dina: “Good girl.”
*chefkiss*
“Clever girl.”
Aaand now I need that Slipshine.
Willis, get on this!
I thought the petplay was going to involve Becky making honking noises to accurately reflect dinosaur vocalizations.
Do they ever wash that dinosaur?
Open the Door.
Get on the Floor.
Everybody wash that Dinosaur.
No. Everybody do the dinosaur.
As in fuck.
And I say good for Becky.
They’re the most active pair, I swear.
I’d bite my lip too if there were 4 pics of only you.
Now I’m thinking about that. Dorothy and Walky did it fairly often in Season 1. Dina said the same about Amber and Danny. Ruth and Billie seemed to only fight and fuck. Amber and Walky never got it in, even though they were immensely horny for each other. Mary and Peter made out a lot but I doubt they shagged.
When it comes to Slipshine specifically, Amazi-Girl/Danny had 2 stories and some pinups. Same for Billie/Ruth. Dorothy/Walky had 1 story and a pinup or two. Dina/Becky has 1 story so far and I’m not sure about pinups. All the others are basically one-shots, from what I remember. But the majority of Slipshine stories are from Season 1.
So currently, yes, I think Becky and Dina are the most active couple at the moment. Dorothy/Walky 2 has a good chance of catching up, but I don’t think they have yet. Purely by percentage and time, Lucy/Jacob might match them, but who knows how long that’ll last. Ruth/Jason is a curiosity to me, but I don’t think they’ve fucked, that we know of. Malaya/Marcie is also an enigma. Joyce and Joe, once the cork is out of the bottle, might destroy the entire building, but that’s only a potential future, not the present.
It’s hard to say why Jason is hanging out with Ruth vest and pants “like a fuckable coatrack” if they haven’t been fucking.
I feel so seen by this.
(Happy Ace Week!! To all the asexuals and aromantics, including my fellow ace girl kissers)
Okay, asking as an ancient out of touch boomer.
Ace? From the context, I’m pretty sure they aren’t talking about playing cards or a fighter pilot with 5 or more kills to his credit.
So, this means, what, exactly?
Asexual, generally meaning not being sexually attracted to anyone in particular but, as with most things, is more complicated in practice.
Ace Exual
Since you ask, here’s a quick crash course:
Asexual & Aromantic spectrum.
You’ve probably heard of more the spectrum of genered sexual attractions, like attraction to men vs women (hetero men and lesbians attracted to women, bisexuals attracted to both men & women, hetero women and gays attracted to men, with various grays of “I’ll make exception for…” in between… because everyone likes David Bowie).
These are widely called out and people know what they are. However, you may have noticed that completely independent of this spectrum, there’s another two spectrums:
Ever notice that some people fall in love and are easy to get in bed, while some people look at the abstinence of monks or nuns and think that it sounds great? That some people are teases but never put out, and some people don’t want to get attached but jump in bed with anything that moves?
These are part of the romantic and sexual attraction spectrums.
So imagine genetics (also epigentics) has a soundboard where you can slide the volume or pitch of various things (this is actually really close to the truth! Genetics has a lot of switch on/off equivalents, but also a lot of sliders equivalents!)
You have one “slider” that’s “attracted to boy ….. attracted to girl” (A guysexual to girlsexual slider, or gender-sexual preference, if you will, though people like to rename it depending on the person’s gender, which is kinda silly)
There’s another that’s “likes romance & dating & connection….. hates romance & dating & connection”
You have another slider that’s “Likes to f*ck….. Hates to f*ck.”
The second to are the aromantic and arosexual spectrums specifically. (Often shortened to aro and ace respectively).
Each one’s equivilent to
“guys….bi….girls”
is
“hyper… allo….demi…ace/aro” (allo being what people are ‘used to’)
Generally, the pattern when talking about both is to put the romance part first.
So, for some more extreme examples to make the point:
So that tease who loves to tease, date lots of people, and falls in love easily, but never puts out? Instead of all those words, simply “Hyper-Ace”. That person who never commits, and posts on their dating profile, “Down to f’ck, no strings attached?” Aro-Hyper.
Falls in love and stays in love and gets deeply passionate like in a lot of romance novels? Hyper-Hyper.
Classic Hallmark movie romance? Allo-Allo
That aloof person who finally settled down after being single forever and not looking, but seems more concerned about their career than their relationship? Probably Demi-demi.
The ‘crazy cat lady’ with twenty kitties and no signficant others, or the old hermit in the woods with seven large dogs? Probably aroace.
Also, just because someone doesn’t want romance or sex, doesn’t mean they don’t want human friendship. Humans are social creatures, afterall. Many aroace people hook up with other aroace people, and just have a lifelong platonic friendship with resource sharing, or hook up with someone who they like in a non-romantic/non-sexual way, but still have romance and sex with the person more as a gift to them than actually getting any personal pleasure out of it. The list of nuance goes on, but I hope that’s a good overview.
For me, the game-changer was realizing that the ace spectrum was a completely separate spectrum… I originally thought it was just another axis on the gay-straight spectrum.
But yeah, that’s kind of how I figured out I’m a little Ace… I think the closest would be Demisexual, but it’s something I’m still working out in my head-matter under my skull.
Dang, wow!
Aww! Carla and Charlie are both ace? That’s awesome! The dating scene can be very hard to navigate when ace. My college partner was allo with a high libido. I identify as demi, but for that and several other reasons, we just didn’t last past college. Now my current partner is allo, but he has a low libido. I’ll never feel pressured with him.
“Take off your pants”
Volume 13 title confirmed?
damn sure hope so XD
Been on a PTSD kick the past 2 months now and this strip (like anything related to the sexual spectra) makes me feel like puking. Not that being ace or being gay or being gals or being demi or anything in this strip is pukeworthy! Just that everything related to that spectrum is triggering right now. It’s like being “unstuck in time”. Like Billy Pilgrim, in “Slaughterhouse 5.” Like living in two timelines at once, but mostly in the past.
…Bizarre world…
To clarify by “that spectrum” I mean “the relational/intimate” spectra.
Just in case anyone else might experiencing something similar, here are some dopamine beeps on the hacked brainwaves:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nhm_zxNNGws
I’m sorry this strip hit a sore spot. Be gentle with yourself.
Thank you, BBCC.
What is with the desire to categorise? Just because, in this instance, Dina issued an instruction and Becky chose to comply, that makes them Dom and Sub? Bollocks, I say.
Nope, no bullocks. Just vulvae.
That was hot as hell, way to go Dina