Aggro
Posted on July 19, 2020 by David M Willis

214 thoughts on “Aggro”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    No one expects the SpanishLinda Inquisition!

    1. Ana Chronistic

      ALT-TEXT NO

      1. Stephen Bierce

        CRO~O~O~O~O~OW~W~W~W!!!!!

        1. Needfuldoer

          Bat guano!

      2. Tan

        Too soon

      3. JetstreamGW

        ALT-TEXT YES!

      4. deathjavu

        I think the Ross – Blaine episode proved that the alt text is wrong.

        A group of parents isn’t an *attempted* murder.

        1. segnosaur

          Well, technically Blaine also attempted to murder the students that were kidnapped. (Remember, he talked about killing them to hide his crime/scare Amber). So just because there is a successful murder, doesn’t mean there wasn’t also an attempted murder.

        2. Tan

          Also Mike

        3. Jhon

          A group of crows is called a ‘murder’.

      5. Rose by Any Other Name

        ….
        **makes some popcorn**
        **sits down**
        **waits**
        **Munch*

        1. Sombrero

          OMG!!! I’m out of popcorn at the worst time!!!

      6. Undrave

        For some reason I can’t see Alt-Text anymore. ANYWHERE!

        1. Lingo

          “A group of parents is called an attempted murder”

        2. Undrave

          Ouch!

        3. Xenocide

          It seems to be working again this strip, but wasn’t for me the last few days.

  2. Doctor_Who

    They’re going to have a nice lunch together, compare bad parenting strategies, laugh at facebook memes where kids these days don’t know how to operate a book, and come to the joint conclusion that all of this is Sal’s fault.

    1. clif

      Amber’s fault. But yeah.

      1. Pylgrim

        The kids these days’ fault. I’m sure Carol is not feeling Joyce quite a bit as of late.

      2. Reltzik

        There’s plenty of fault to share among their preferred scapegoats.

      3. Strain of Thought

        If Billie tells them Sal is Amazi-Girl, they can blame both at the same time!

    2. Uly

      It’s their fault for being too loving and understanding and caring and not being strict enough. Count on it.

  3. SpookyFox

    oh no the karens are assembling

    1. SuperZero

      Linda was looking for someone to blame. Carol is to blame. I see no reason to expect a villain team-up.

      1. bryy

        Yeah, this is just gonna result in some new form of bullshittery that will affect Walky and Sal.

        1. jeffepp

          It’s possible, probable even, that Linda doesn’t know the involvement. Therefore, is trying to form a group, a coalition, for her agenda.

        2. Meagan

          Ugh, that destroys my dreams of Linda’s unpleasantness being targeted somewhere amusing for once (Carol).

        3. Lawzlo

          …And I’m certain that Carol would love to try to shift the blame to Amber, or anyone else, if that reduces the likelihood of anyone blaming her.

        4. temperaryobsessor

          Or Ross or the church.

        5. Meagan

          I imagine Carol might blame Blaine, saying that he tricked them. I also imagine she might manage to blame Becky, by saying that joke of this would have happened if Becky hadn’t gone astray.

        6. Meagan

          Um, *NONE of this, not joke of this…

    2. Sporky

      I could have sworn there was a DoA character actually named Karen, but I guess not.

    3. khn0

      Are they Karens? Aren’t Karen Xers supposed to be laid back so far it’s not cencerning their children? Am I reading too much in a meme? Is the concept of homogenic decade/multidecade generations with common attitudes and interests shit thrown upon their shoulders by journalist who failed sociology tests? Am I Y-generationing again?

      1. JBento

        No, Karens are the ones whose behaviour ranges from “Excuse ME, I would like to speak to your manager.” and “Police? Somebody’s being black in my vicinity.”

        1. Just Karen

          I’m really feeling the love here.

          Maybe I should talk to your manager about how you talk about me.

          (In all seriousness, I kinda wish I hadn’t settled on Karen for a name.)

        2. RowenMorland

          Maybe you are the only one in this world line that can redeem the name? Like Bill and Barry Heterodyne.

        3. Meagan

          I also think it’s important to recognize that from what I’ve seen the “Karen” meme has some roots from places like 4chan, where people started joking that “Karen took the kids.” It was a joke about bad ex-wife a getting custody. And the problem I see with that is that I don’t trust the dudes posting on 4chan were actually good parents or husband’s who “didn’t deserve” what their wives “did to them.” I’m pretty confident that many of them contributed to the problem or were even the main source of the problem.

          The meme has been appropriated from there, and while it does level what I might consider reasonable critique at people who treat service workers poorly, it has misogynistic roots and easily veers back into misogyny, depending on where it’s being used. It’s a very odd case of a crossover meme that has popularity among both younger progressive-minded people, and sexist dudes of varying ages, with the borders blurring quite a lot sometimes due to the lack of nuance in meme-based communication.

        4. thejeff

          As far as I know, it comes out of black culture, not so much 4chan. A recent entry in a long line of terms for similar behavior.

          This one just got taken up by white people.

        5. Mopey

          You’re both right. It’s a merger of two memes with separate backgrounds. A minor “Karen” caricature was around for a while before it got to where it is today, and before that it definitely had clear ties to “she took the kids” memes just like Meagan said.

          Like you said, though, black culture has had other similar names like Miss Anne, which fit today’s Karen better. Basically, a couple of years back black twitter appropriated the “bongoy Lady” name du jour to renew the caricature and kind of blew the original Karen memes out of the water.

        6. Mopey

          “Bongoy” = “Annoying”
          Not sure what happened there.

      2. Needfuldoer

        Hank and Carol are still boomers; their oldest child is in his thirties.

        Linda’s trying to level up.

  4. Chris

    This is either going to be very good, or very bad.

    1. clif

      This will end well.

    2. Ray Radlein

      Yes

    3. BrokenEye, the True False Prophet

      I sure hope so!

  5. Laladoria

    Oh this is going to go FANTASTICALLY. Can’t wait

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Nothing to worry about here.

  6. Jess

    [video game [!] noise]

  7. Foxhack

    Are they gonna try to get Joyce expelled too?

    1. Tan

      Or they’re going to talk the Browns into blaming Amber too.

    2. Diane

      Naw, but I can see Linda trying to put the blame on Amber and is trying to recruit them for her unholy cause.

    3. Deadjolras

      Maybe Linda wants to gently inquire why their church bailed out Toedad.

    4. Doctor_Who

      They get everyone expelled.

      DoA’s next season has the whole cast move to Hawaii together, live in a beach house, and run a surf shop together.

      1. Undrave

        They learn the beach house is haunted and make friend with the ghost of a 60’s surfer nicknamed ‘Big Kahuna’.

        1. Miri

          Does the gang then need to win a hula contest to stop the club shack from being torn down?

        2. woobie

          They have to discover that the amulet Walky found and is wearing is causing all of the bad luck.

  8. Rosicrucian

    Linda, no.

    Don’t make me get out the spray bottle.

  9. Slartibeast Button, BIA

    Time for Asma to stand up from behind the counter with a wide-angle phaser set to stun.

    1. Rabid Rabbit

      Asma has taken one look at the situation and gone “Aw hell no, I’m not paid enough for this.”

      On the other hand, if she does make an appearance, no need for a phaser. The sight of her headscarf should be enough to paralyze Carol.

      And if it doesn’t, she has her poking stick.

      1. Ryek Hvek

        Hopefully, Carol never received instructions on how to defend against someone approaching with a stick.

        1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          But what about defending herself against fresh fruit?

        2. Ryek Hvek

          what’s left but preemptive suicide?

  10. danielle

    ohhh BOY

  11. Jade

    OH NO I DIDN’T EVEN THINK OF THIS

    1. Doctor_Who

      Readers: Well the two worst dads are now out of the picture, so I don’t see what could possibly…

      Boss music starts up

      It’s a mistake to forget the moms. Happened to Beowulf too.

      1. Bicycle Bill

        “The female of the species is more deadly than the male.” …… Rudyard Kipling

      2. abacuswizard

        +10 points for accurate Beowulf reference

  12. Sirksome

    Aw! Linda has no respect for social distancing. I think that knocks a few points off for her.

    1. Kinoko

      I’m now trying to imagine how the characters in this universe would cope with COIVD. Sadly, I think basically everyone except for Dorothy would be a potential vector. :/

      1. Sirksome

        I could almost guarantee Carol at least is an anti-masker. I would bet money on it. Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if it happens in like a patreon strip or something. I think most of the cast though would be smart enough to social distance though. Although none of them would even be in school right? They’d all be home which would probably be a nightmare for some of them. Although I’d actually really like to read that. Get a glimpse at the home lives of the cast. We might even finally meet another Billingsworth!

        1. BBCC

          Who wants to bet Sal moves in with Marcie?

        2. Sirksome

          I’d like to think Joyce would try to move in with Becky as well. I’d actually fear for her health if she had to stay at home during this pandemic!

        3. temperaryobsessor

          Yea which is exactly why covid is not a thing in this universe until its already passed in the real world, you can’t just make a couple references to Covid 19, it would change the storyline also date the comic.

      2. abacuswizard

        Dumbing of Age: The Videochat Years

      3. Kamino Neko

        Nah. Sarah would totally jump on self-isolation.

        Dina would follow the science and wear a mask whenever in public indoor spaces and avoid contact with anyone outside her bubble. (She would make sure Becky was in her Bubble.)

        Becky would follow Dina’s lead.

        Carla would isolate physically, but build a robot that would let her pester the fuck out of everybody, anyway. It would have a plastic cover that it would discard after every interaction.

        Walky and Joyce would be vectors until someone beat some sense into them.

        Mary would ignore the beating.

        Malaya would fit into one of those last two groups, but I can’t decide which is more likely.

        Anyone else…can’t really say.

        1. Reltzik

          Ethan would stay in his room and do flame wars about transformers.

          Jacob, Asma, would wear a mask as is proper.

          Billie would decide that she could ignore the rules for some reason. Ruth would pound some sense* into her.

          Lucy would wear a mask but wouldn’t social distance, because FRIENDLY!

          The rest of Forest hall would do whatever Sal did.

          Jason would follow the rules and grumble about all the yanks who didn’t, except he’d go to the pub regardless of social distancing rules because pubs don’t count.

          Buckets of Blood guy would complain that the virus only fills up your lungs and doesn’t make you start bleeding out of your eyes.

          Mike would wear a mask, because of his respirator.

          Anyone else?

          ..

          * Actually Ruth would pound something other than sense into Billie.

        2. BBCC

          Sal is more than okay with isolation. One or more of Marcie’s roommates probably returned home for the isolation period and she will HAPPILY take up their spot in Marcie’s apartment.

        3. thejeff

          Amber would happily stay in her room, killing spiders and writing fanfic.
          Amazi-Girl would prowl the campus at night, enforcing the mask policy.

        4. Devin

          Malaya would ignore the beatings because nobody tells Malaya what to do. The beatings would probably just end up encouraging her.

  13. NF

    I feel like Willis has been eagerly anticipating the day he could unleash this strip on the world.

    1. Kim

      😀

      1. chris2315

        I am in love with this avatar-emoji combo.

    2. Deanatay

      I believe Willis has a Ruth avatar he posts when he’s at his most villainous…

  14. JessWitt

    Frick, hell’s about to break loose in the lobby. If Asma’s there she has front row seats.

    1. SuperZero

      Poor thing.

  15. Mra

    Never has getting a patreon to see tommorrow’s comic been so tempting.
    Curse my lack of money.

  16. Savail

    All I can focus on is Charles’ untied shoelace.

    1. Poskie

      same hat!

    2. Kali

      I feel like that’s where Walky gets it from

  17. Poskie

    Gotta say, Charles’ untied shoelace is a nice little detail. Makes me wonder what he’s like outside of his wife’s presence…

    1. Kinoko

      Clearly, he has failed to model safe shoe-wearing to his children and is now facing the consequences. 😛

      I kinda love when kids pick up harmless bad habits like that from their parents, though. For example, my father taught me that it was okay to lick my dinner plate if my mother didn’t see me do it…

      1. Rabid Rabbit

        There’s a reason Walky stuck to velcro until Dorothy made him do otherwise.

        1. Tan

          Walky’s prior shoes did in fact have laces: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/06-strange-beerfellows/launch/

          He tried to get away with -switching- to velcro, but Dorothy laughed it off.

    2. BBCC

      Like father, like son.

      1. ThresherK

        Ayup. Walky’s flightiness (can we call it ditzyness?) had to come from somewhere.

        1. Deanatay

          Walky totally qualifies as a ditz.

    3. Kali

      Oh, i just had to scroll a little more to see that it’s been said, whoops

  18. Regalli

    God, I think this might manage to be a worse alliance than the Evil Dads. These two’s methods actually mesh reasonably well.

  19. BBCC

    Oooooooh, either we’re about to get battle of the Karens….or a fucking Evil Moms team up. This oughta be something.

    1. Kyrik Michalowski

      If the Evil Moms team up then Hank has to convince Charles the only way out is to murder their respective wives. They could redeem themselves and rid us of 2 horrible people at the same time.

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        Surely the Achilles Heel of The League Of Evil Moms is Mike Reborn with a Roll Of Nickels.

        1. Meagan

          The Mike-Nickel comment I didn’t see coming and that didn’t strike a dead nerve for me (as most Mike-Nickel comments do these days).

        2. Kali

          It’s just a comma nerve for the time being

    2. Sirksome

      It’s gotta be an evil moms team up right? I mean nothing good ever happens when parents are involved in this comic. Although I would enjoy Linda and Carol tearing each other apart as a distraction while everyone else sneaks off and goes and has pity lunch. You can even invite Hank and Charles. They’re both harmless when the wives aren’t around.

      1. He Who Abides

        Charles is kinda racist, he can stay behind.

        1. Sirksome

          Really? I must a missed that cause I feel like he hasn’t talked much at all in the entirety of the comic so I have no idea what he even thinks of anything. Maybe I just forgot. I guess he’s off the list then.

        2. Regalli

          The one thing he says to Sal during Family Weekend is a remark about her hair (which was curly at the time, though she had an appointment for straightening that afternoon which she went to when her parents’ attention was so wholly on Walky they didn’t notice her saying goodbye, despite her doing so VERY slowly,) and the phrase ‘That’s a shame. It looks so pretty straight.’ It’s a very racialized subject to begin with, and Sal explicitly carries baggage about feeling she ‘has to’ wear her hair straight because of parental comments like that.

          Note that, because we know Sal started straightening her hair before the convenience store incidents (and stopped doing so in the leadup, it’s one of the ways you can see time passing in those flashbacks,) we know CHARLES knows that it’s an hourslong process. That Sal felt pressured to sit through when she was twelve.

        3. He Who Abides

          He also Googled “can illegal immigrants get health insurance” when Marcie ended up in hospital and her parents couldn’t afford decent treatment. Because, y’know, she’s Hispanic.

        4. Regalli

          Also that one! 0 for 2 there, Charles.

          Sal’s line at the rally that Robin would ‘deport [Marcie’s] folks if it got her votes’ (source: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/cadet/ ) suggests that they may well be immigrants, but even that gives no indication of complicated bureaucratic status, and given the political landscape they could be tenth-generation Texans and still get that shit. (And why would you trust that kind of sensitive information to Linda and Charles Walkerton?)

        5. Leorale

          Huh! I thought they really were undocumented.
          We haven’t heard otherwise, and it would be kind of a weird thing to tease.

        6. Needfuldoer

          I don’t think we’ve had a definitive answer either way.

          There was the time Leland kicked Marcie into a rocky drainage ditch, and she said her father didn’t think it was necessary to take her to a doctor. Either they couldn’t afford it, or that would raise suspicion he wanted to avoid.

          https://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-7/01-glower-vacuum/balances/
          (The two strips before this one are also pertinent.)

        7. Regalli

          It’s only vaguely teased at the moment, because the two times we’ve seen it brought up directly – the principal’s ‘well she’s not OUR responsibility, for all we know she could be an… illegal’ (or something to that extent) line, and Charles’s search – were both from people who are not particularly likely to know. Principal’s clearly being racist and making excuses for the well-connected white boy, and as I said, would you really tell the Walkertons – EITHER Walkerton, given Charles’s support is usually limited to vaguely sympathetic looks – if you were an undocumented immigrant? So the only real indication they might be immigrants at all is that one line of Sal’s, and because of politics that doesn’t actually mean all that much.

          This is different from the ‘Yuri was underage when she had Faz, who may be Blaine’s biological son’ suggestion, because Amber knows Faz’s age and has reason to have a better-than-random-bystander sense of Yuri’s. Also, Sal’s storyline (and Marcie’s intersection in it) deals so heavily with the Walkerton parents’ veiled racism that Charles wrongly assuming solely because she’s Latina fits neatly in that framework. (By comparison, Amber’s angst about possibly abandoning a half-sibling works just as well with Yuri as an adult when Faz was born, and given Blaine’s years of blaming his resentment of Amber and Stacy on them means Amber may well have internalized it.)

        8. Bysmerian

          Iirc it’s an internalized sort of racism, and not blatant for all the damage it did; folks mainly brought it up when he commented that Sal looked nice with her hair straightened. That’s…a thorny issue right there.

          I personally suspect that there’s a few extra steps of connection there, vis-a-vis Sal letting her hair go natural about the time she started getting into trouble, so part of it in his head is associating it with better days.

          But also they shipped her off to private school when she got in trouble and IIRC didn’t visit a single damn time which is seriously fucked up

        9. BBCC

          Sal’s talked about her parents plural when she talks about lectures about how she’s a failure, Charles insulted her hair to her face last time they spoke (“Your hair is curly.” “Yeah, it kinda just happened.” “Too bad. You look so pretty when it’s long and straight” is super shitty to say to someone with naturally curly hair even before the racial implications hit) and Sal told Amber last storyline she envied her ability to reject her dad’s claim over her. Charles isn’t as blatant as Linda but he can be shit too.

        10. Sirksome

          I’m not trying to defend Charles. Like I think it’a a pretty safe bet he’s a little bit sketch just by association to Linda, but the hair, this specifically irks me. Mainly because for decades, centuries even, poc have grown up in a society that values white aesthetic traits over traditionally black ones. Specifically hair I’ve had to sit in the salon for hours while mom got her hair straightened just to look more “professional”. Only recently as in maybe the last decade or so has that started to change. So when Charles makes a comment about Sal’s hair I can’t call him a racist for that. It’s almost expected of him as fucked up as it is. Like Bysmerian said it’s probably internalized. Crucifying him for that comment isn’t really fair to me.

          But again, he married Linda and the other stuff everyone said, sooooooo……I guess no lunch for him.

        11. BBCC

          I mean, it can be racism out of internalized societal bullshit and still be racist. It comes in forms other than ignorance and malice.

        12. Regalli

          Which is specifically what Sal and Billie say to Walky on the subject, as well. Internalized racism (or homophobia, or misogyny, or ableism, etc.) is still racism, because it’s still part of the systemic prejudice people face.

        13. temperaryobsessor

          People can while thinking X rules are bullshit want their kids to follow X rules because doing otherwise is punished by society. It can be tough to tell the difference between that and simply buying into the bullshit X rules and it can be a fine line.
          If Mikes or Ethan’s parents could theoretically know its completely unfare to punish Amber for her fathers crimes, but still want their children to avoid Amber because her dad is a mob stooge who could turn violent with minimal provocation and they don’t want their kids getting hurt.

        14. thejeff

          It would be possible for Charles to have a real sensitive discussion with Sal about how straightening her hair would give advantages in our racist society.

          That would not look like Charles telling her he liked her hair better straight.

        15. temperaryobsessor

          Good point.

        16. hof1991

          Charles is a grow up Walky. Goofy guy who goes along with a more driven wife. A wife who has a bunch of smarts but now realizes she didn’t do too much with them despite her high hopes. Linda is an early model Dorothy that never achieved what she wanted but now has plans for her children. Plans which will also fall apart.

          Walky was attracted to a young lady with plans and determination but may now be moving toward with one that is more accepting of him as he is while bringing out good things.

          For today the question is whether Linda sticks with her plan to blame Amber or if she will shift to going after Carol. I would bet she values staying the course over being right. For the six of them, Dorothy’s parents are likely to blame the adults involved. Carol won’t blame herself. Charles doesn’t really have a vote. So it comes down to Hank.

        17. Sam

          Charles isn’t even a grown up Walky as even that gives him too much credit by this point of Walky’s growth. He’s not doing anything in the group project except the group project is parenting and raising two children and he’s just signing off on everything Linda suggests and says.

          Charles is a passive man who opts out of parenting decisions and involving himself in conversation as much as possible when Linda is there and by doing so, allows Linda to go on her warpaths unopposed against even their own children and victims.

          Charles is a disappointment of a parent. The parent that says they love you but is never in your corner when it is important. That might as well not even be there, because it doesn’t matter if the underground spring of love exists, if it is completely inaccessible and you are left to seek out other wells or make your own.

  20. Kyrik Michalowski

    This will not end well, no matter whether she is approaching Joyce’s parents in a friendly way or not. So what are we expecting out of Linda now?

  21. Reltzik

    Absolutely nothing could possibly go wrong with this encounter, and I unreservedly endorse it.

  22. Nevermaker

    I have NO IDEA what flavor of awful this is going to be, but it’s gonna be SOME FLAVOR.

    1. timemonkey

      Mom flavor

  23. Diane

    I hate Linda, I hate her so much. Would it kill you to keep your personal vendetta outta everyone else’s hair? If so, then go ahead and perish, more bonding between Walky and Becky with dead moms, I approve.

  24. ian livs

    Did any other kids raised fundamentalist have that overwhelming terror of ever letting your parents meet your friends, their parents, or literally any other acquaintance you’d ever made outside of church? Or was that just a weird me thing? Wondering because this one made me remember that.

    1. Sam

      Considering Willis has said many things Joyce experiences in regards to it are autobiographical… I think he has an idea what that is like at least with the way Dorothy and Joyce’s friendship was handled where Joyce’s parents flipped the first time and Joyce’s mum made it weird that Joyce has a black friend the first time I think she met Sarah.

      I at least wouldn’t think it is strange if you knew your parents would react poorly/make things weird? Especially if you weren’t as into it as they were so you knew their beliefs might scare people off?

    2. Ralph Oscar

      Absolutely.

  25. fire_daws

    Worst. Moms. Ever.

    1. Newllend(henryvolt)

      Which one?

      1. fire_daws

        Linda and Carol. I’ll give Deborah a pass (for now).

      2. timemonkey

        Moms suggests multiple targets.

      3. JessWitt

        Fundie mom and Meddler mom.

  26. Diner Kinetic

    IN THIS CORNER: they put the “jesus” in “jesus, no”; they’re an unstoppable tag-team because they couldn’t *possibly* be considering divorce, the only thing they have more of than children is arbitrary and specific reasons not to watch popular cartoons- give it up for the BROWNS

    AND IN THIS CORNER: Sometimes racist doesn’t know the color of your skin, they just know which child is a “problem” and can’t elaborate on why! She’s itching for a fight to protect her precious son and will use whatever means she deans necessary, He’s probably just looking away and hoping he won’t have to be involved- the WALKERTONS, ladies/gentlemen/enby folk of all ages!

    AND FINALLY: They’ve got empathy for their child and support her no matter what (which makes them about as rare in the Dumbiverse as nostrils), they’re generally nice people and aren’t afraid to show it, they’re probably not going to be involved in this except to hastily de-escalate before being blown away by volcanoes of pure hostility- The Inconquerable Keeners!

    Who will win this mellee of maddening anti-logic? Who will say things they can never take back, setting the comments on fire in the process? and just where is Amber’s mom in all this? Welcome… to PARENT FIGHT!

    1. DiDi

      I would sacrifice many a thing to be able to like this comment. Oh God… it’s so wrong but I can’t stop laughing.

    2. JessWitt

      *applause* Awesome refereeing.

    3. Regalli

      Congratulations, you win the comments section for the day. And quite possibly the week.

    4. BBCC

      A+. I love it.

    5. abysswatcher1993

      The Kenner should just run away with Dorothy and Joyce while Linda and Carol fight each other.

      1. abysswatcher1993

        keeners.

      2. JessWitt

        And Joyce, Sarah, and Dorothy will find the Keeners and abscond with them to lunch.

    6. Doom Shepherd

      Now I want to see this encounter as an Epic Rap Battle. Thanks for that.

    7. Lingo

      “whatever means she *deans* necessary” — that was intentional right? Lol

      1. Diner Kinetic

        honestly that and the jesus line are why I bothered with this at all

        1. Lingo

          I should never have doubted you.

    8. woobie

      Parent Deathmatch! Fire up the Claymation!

    9. JBento

      “”jesus” in “jesus, no”” has a very high chance of being the best thing I’ll hear all week. All the non-possible upvotes for you.

    10. Proxiehunter

      Watch this be the match where the Keeners pull a heel turn just as Hank turns face and breaks up his tag team.

  27. Newllend(henryvolt)

    Yeah Hank & Carol thought they were safe because they weren’t dealing with the atheist family, well they were dead fucking wrong.

  28. DiDi

    Well… this seems appropriate… *inhales*

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    1. fire_daws

      http://nooooooooooooooo.com/

  29. Rani

    Let them both fight.

  30. regina phalange

    Clearly sitcom-except-waaaay-more-serious-style hijinks are about to ensue, but if Dorothy is as smart as we know she is, she should be texting her parents NOW to say they’re avoiding Joyce’s parents, so maybe they should meet somewhere else, and they can figure out a way to sneak out–at least it gets them out of the danger zone.

    Except hijinks. So I assume that’s not going to happen–or if it does, it will happen too late.

    1. Regalli

      I’m not sure how well Joyce can get out of the building without avoiding the lobby, though. (I admit, not remotely familiar with Read Hall’s layout and if there’s an entrance other than the lobby.) Unless Sal can offer some assistance via text on how to climb out the dorms via window. Might have to convince Malaya to let them use the window (since I assume Sal got in and out that way via tree?) but since the alternative is that eventually, the drama occurs on the other side of Malaya’s bathroom, it may be worth it.

      1. Chris Phoenix

        There’s got to be a fire-stairwell door to the outside at each end of each hall. The question is, is it alarmed, or just exit-only?

        1. Regalli

          We did see Amber use one, I think, at Freshman Family Weekend to let AG take over after the dorm confrontation, so probably not alarmed, good call. Assuming I remember what stairwell she was using correctly.

        2. Rabid Rabbit

          But she ended up in the lobby, running to Danny and his parents for protection.

    2. Needfuldoer

      Jeremiah has his phone in his hand, and is either typing or pointing at it. Deborah’s back is turned, so either she’s aggressively ignoring the Browns, or maybe he’s trying to covertly show her something.

  31. synnerman

    Oh fuck!

    GET HER LINDA!

  32. abysswatcher1993

    Linda, you may be evil, but don’t interact with the one partially reponsible for your son’s kidnapping.

  33. Wendy

    BATTLE OF THE TERRIBLE MOMS

  34. Jonah Sanville

    Coming this Fall: Two awful women, Linda and Carol, join forces to become histories worst mothers. “Minority Hating Mothers”, Tuesday nights at 8pm

  35. Proto

    “Oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of running away you’re coming right to me?”

    “I can’t make this situation worse without getting closer”

    1. AGV

      Yare yare…

  36. SlothKing

    Oh, man, Joyce’s dad is going to take Walky’s Parent’s side, and the whole argument is going to end with him saying he wants a divorce just as Joyce gets off the elevator, isn’t it?
    Then Walky’s going to blame himself for it and be super awkward around her, won’t he?

  37. Nah

    ……..Does she know that Joyces mom got the kidnapper out of prison? Is she going to go all wrath on them or ironically try to team up with one of the people really responsible to try and get Amber thrown out.

    1. Nah

      well that Joyces mom helped and wanted him out of prison

  38. NinjaNick

    This could get really ugly.

  39. saltchocolate

    Nice, hovertext.

  40. Meagan

    Dorothy’s dad looks so ridiculously benign here.

  41. Falcon

    *Ken Watanabe voice*

    Let them fight.

  42. Dracke

    She is always wrong, isnt she?

  43. Romanticide

    A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS!

    I am negative enough just to think this will end affecting either Amber or Sal more… while I would wish Linda and Carol just got into a fight I doubt that is happening.

  44. Nenja

    Oh dear.

  45. clif

    If the “take us all out t lunch” included Walky, Ethan and Amber, this could get interesting.

  46. GutterChick

    Parent Issues: The Comic
    Funny enough I once again relate to Sal the most here, yanno, whole having a mom that never even bothered to hold you and acts like every bit of damage ya got is your own fault.

  47. Bagge

    “Hey, I hear you are a terrible mom. There is not room for two on the top, second-best“

    1. JBento

      Ok, Linda’s awful, but I’m pretty sure Carol still has top spot.

      1. Bagge

        If so I’m sure Linda will do someting aweful to get the top spot pretty soon.

        1. JBento

          A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS!

  48. Bagge

    I really like the panel layout, with Linda bursting in from her own panel.

    1. Needfuldoer

      Demanding to see the manager of panels.

      Or maybe Joyce’s manager.

  49. Holly

    I came here for comments about how Walky-like his dad’s untied laces are and I was disappointed, so here’s the comment.

    1. Holly

      Wait, no, there is one, I missed it!

  50. C.T Phipps

    I wonder if Carol will be horrified at Linda’s children. There’s just something CRIMINAL about them. It must have made Ross tie them up in a citizen’s arrest.

    Linda will be confused about her using the plural but accept it being right about Sal.

    Okay, now I need to throw up.

    1. Bagge

      “Today, the conference of horrible parents have reached concensus that Sal is the worst.”

  51. Rabisch

    Oh no, oh no, oh no!!! Tgus will explode with a lot of pain for everyone!

  52. Peter Huppertz

    I came here because “today’s” ItsWalky made me aware that the current storyline’s title is from a song, which is referenced there.
    Probably because I’m unAmerican, and possibly because I haven’t been raised along the same line as our author, I was completely unaware of that song — but now I think there is some foreshadowing in that storyline title.

    How many of you knew about this?

    1. clif

      I had the vague impressions he has been riffing on song titles on and off for awhile now. But mostly songs I’ve never heard of, so I could be wrong.

  53. Valerie

    FUCK ‘EM UP LINDA

    1. Needfuldoer

      FUCK ‘EM UP, LINDA

      1. JBento

        FUCK UP, LINDA!

        And, undoubtedly, she will.

  54. thumb

    On the one hand, yikes! On the other hand, maybe good?

  55. hof1991

    Long term, I think the general consensus of Carol doubling down on toxicity is right. I look forward to hank being the rare person who continues to grow and change. He’s the type to put family first. He may be what DYW wanted his family to be while Carol is what they were. It’s worth noticing just how rare it is for people to have a real conversion. To change their world view. To admit they’ve made a lot of mistakes and now want to live differently. Breaking away from your family of origin and making a whole new sequence of mistakes with your life is hard.

  56. FacelessDeviant

    Looks like we’re gonna have a good ol’fashioned Karen-down.

    1. Bagge

      We know from the Blaine/Ross showdown that the correct protocol for setting ties among aweful parents is blunt violence, so this might be interesting.

  57. Bagge

    “Did you know that my son David is a movie-star in a church-related francice? Yes, he hands out autographs. I can arrange a meeting if you are interested.”

  58. Daikaiju

    To quote The Far Side, “Trouble brewing…”

  59. JBento

    Somebody mentioned a lack of aggro, so Linda answered the call.

  60. bcb

    How will Linda handle this in completely the wrong way?

  61. ThresherK

    His full name is not Jerry or Gerald, but Jeremiah?

    The things I never notice…

  62. Deanatay

    Dorothy’s parents aren’t aggro enough.

    Walky’s parents? Well, one of them is. Aggro enough for both of them, even.

    1. Eldritchy

      And I imagine their Dad will use Taunt on them… well Carol at least, by merely existing.

  63. Kitschensyngk

    b>In all this world, there is nothing more frightening than the getting together of a group of parents.
    –Linus Van Pelt

  64. Delicious Taffy

    “No, ma’am. I’m the manager at the burger joint you just visited. Joyce’s parents are a few steps in front of you.”

  65. persephone

    i have been reading this comic since it was first published, i’ve been lurking the comments for years, and now i’m finally coming forward to say one thing:

    oh fuck.

    1. clif

      That’s two things.

      So why have you been holding out on us?

      1. persephone

        i get shy.

  66. Heavensrun

    Actually last time a group of parents got together, it was called a *successful* murder.

  67. voltekker

    Karen mode turned to 11 incoming!

  68. FirePrincessLily

    Linda and Carol? It’s like a bad mom meeting

  69. Dutch

    …..oooooooooh nooooooo big mistake there Karen

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