330

Always open
Posted on August 29, 2013 by David M Willis

330 thoughts on “Always open”

  1. Alyssa

    Ouch.

    1. Squall

      Those shoes are on fyre

      1. Neospector

        Wasn’t that part of the Septimus Heap series?
        The one where all the I’s were replaced with Y’s and bolded in this weird font to make it appear “magic-y”? It’s actually a decent series to read if you’re bored.

        1. Jaco

          The ‘Darkenesse’ was such a coollame word. 🙂

          And I don’t recall Fyre being one of the books, maybe you’re thinking of Flyte?

        2. Zababcd

          Both were in the series.

        3. Neospector

          Yeah, Flyte was the book and the flying spell, Fyre was just mentioned in the series. Like the dragon was named Spitfyre or something.

        4. Volthorne

          Flyte is the second book. Fyre is the seventh (and final). It is also the magykal (forgive me, I just retread the series) version of standard fire, capable of destroying any substance/object, even those which would normally be indestructible.

      2. Khrene Cleaver

        Someone hasn’t played Sonic Adventure 2, Amazigirl is part Hedgehog!

        1. Ed Rhodes

          “Ratchett and Clank” and “Psychonauts” both have
          “grind rail” levels.

    2. GrrArg42

      Save that for when she trips and falls on her face.

      1. das-g

        Try that again, with more capitalization in the last word.

        1. Joebo

          ahem… FAAAAAACCCCEEEEEE!!!

    3. Bill

      I know I’m late to the party, but I’ve taken the last few days to read myself up to here.

      Now are you-all satisfied that Amber is/was Amazi-girl — at least here in the DoA strip?  It was obvious from her very first appearance that Amber was the only person it even *COULD* be! 

  2. Kernanator

    Amber stop running from your problems. Because when you run from your problems, you often also end up running from help.

    1. Tomb

      When you run from your problems you run from your solutions.

      1. Steven

        Unless you’re trying the Rincewind method of problem solving: First, run away from your problems. Then, when you run into more problems you run away from them too. And so on.

        1. Luzahn

          Rincewind’s methods of problem solving are almost always inferior to other alternatives. Always follow them.

        2. C.

          http://nedroid.com/2013/08/problem-solved/

      2. Cholma

        When you run from your troubles, you just get tired faster. Your troubles have plenty of stamina to keep up.

        1. Kernanator

          This is perhaps the best way of saying it I’ve ever heard.

      3. Nick

        When you run from your solutions you also run from your precipitates.

        1. Jones

          +1 Internets
          +1 Chemistry

      4. James

        what if your problem is a hungry bear?

        1. Sailor_Arashi

          Bears run faster than you can.

        2. begbert2

          But can the guy next to you?

        3. What was the question again?

          Only if the guy is a horse.

        4. Jonathan S.

          I don’t have to outrun the bear.

          I only have to outrun YOU.

        5. Somebody

          Bears run slower downhill, or so I’ve heard.

    2. The Candyman

      She’s not [I]running[/I] from them, she’s epically sliding away from them. Totally different.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        You need to use the ‘less than’/’greater than’ signs not [ and ].

        1. The Candyman

          Thanks for the tip.

          Testing, testing, 1 2 3.

        2. The Candyman

          Success!

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          The one thing I have yet to learn is how to put a quote inside a box in this system.

        4. Random832

          The one thing I have yet to learn is how to put a quote inside a box in this system.

          Test. If this works, I’ll tell you how.

        5. Random832

          I screwed it up a bit, but if done correctly, [blockquote] (with angle brackets instead) gives a passable result.

        6. Plasma Mongoose

          I screwed it up a bit, but if done correctly, [blockquote] (with angle brackets instead) gives a passable result.

          Testing testing 1 2 3…

        7. Plasma Mongoose

          Thanks Random ✌

      2. Tachyon

        Excellent rail grind. I give her +100 style points!

        1. tahrey

          Is it enough to do a Special Move with, though?

        2. Cheryl

          hahah yuss

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      I thought she was worried that her secret superhero identity will be found out if she doesn’t get out of there.

      1. Shadow12000

        I’m going to associate it with panic, because taking off the mask is a lot easier than going all Sonic the Hedgehog on that rail.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          That and that Amber isn’t exactly in charge of her body at the moment.

          (This is my Tuxedo Mask theory)

        2. bibulb

          As I’ve said, that’s not entirely false – when you get hopped up on adrenalin, some bizarre stuff goes down.

        3. Dicrel Seijin

          Amber’s not here right now. /singsong voice

          (No really, go look at the tags. It’s “Amazi-girl” and “Ruth” and that’s it.)

        4. Totz the Plaid

          Both.

      2. mysss29

        Nah, she doesn’t share her problems with anyone. She’s worried about having to face her feelings…and possibly the reality that she has hate, anger, and spite within her…and that she cannot forgive and forget about whatever her father has done to make her feel that way toward him. Also, she’s crying…she probably doesn’t want to show weakness, either. I don’t think the fact that it’s Ruthless would really matter; maybe I’m projecting at this point, but she probably doesn’t realize that it’s normal to be fucked up inside and that no one has everything under control. And so showing a stranger that she is that way would be horrible.

        Really, though, no one else runs away from people when they’re crying? Just last year or so I was going to try and find a friend to talk to, but I realized that I was freaking out a bit, so I stopped and cried first and didn’t mention it at all. Of course, she was in a semi-public place, but it was mostly that I didn’t really want to be all, “ASDBFAHFBVEW:LHF I’M CRYING HALP,” to her. I thought I was overreacting to the situation I was in, I guess, which is another way to state what I said about Amber not accepting her feelings. It’s strange that irrational overreaction is completely normal, and that people are totally inconsistent in how they deal with things, especially depending on their levels of stress and anxiety at the time.

    4. Aizat

      Sometimes, you just have to punch your problems in the face…other times, vigilantism works too.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        And as we all know, vigilantism often uses face-punching to do its work.

        1. Aizat

          Sometimes, it’s a boot to the head.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Or an arrow to the knee quickly followed with a knee to the balls.

        3. The Candyman

          And a bullet to the face, if we’re feeling anti-heroish today.

        4. Shade

          Of course, if you are lacking a bullet (or anything to launch it with), a face against any convenient hard surface is an acceptable substitute.

        5. CianM1301

          Does a fist count as a hard surface?

        6. The Candyman

          Only if the fist is made of steel.

    5. DapperAnarchist

      Though if you are going to run, parkouring down a staircase is the coolest way to do it…

    6. Skorpeyon

      But when you grind from your problems, you also end up being cool.

  3. Doctor_Who

    Alright, but I’m going to make twice as many femur jokes to make up for it.

    1. Yotomoe

      I’ll draw twice as much fanservice.

      1. Doctor_Who

        Two times infinity isn’t even a thing.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          2∞ = ∞

        2. Doctor_Who

          8 + tequila = ∞.

          And since 8 is a finite value, I must therefore conclude that tequila = ∞.

          And since tequila is infinite, and the universe is infinite, the universe is tequila via the transitive property.

          Therefore, I don’t have a drinking problem. I have a reality problem.

        3. TheSuicidalGiraffe

          Mind= *explosion*
          GET THE BIMBRIDGE SCHOLARS OVER HERE NOW!

        4. The Candyman

          If that’s the case, then would vodka be equal to Pi?

        5. Tenn

          Mmm… vodka pie…

          *arglegargledrool*

        6. gears

          This is the greatest thing I’ve ever read.

        7. Drakey

          I… I think I love you a little bit. That was beautiful.

        8. Squall

          But reality is finite, therefore tequila isn’t real. If tequila is the universe and tequila isn’t real, then the universe isn’t real. Because the universe isn’t real it must be a concept. If the universe is a concept and the universe is tequila, then tequila is just a concept. If tequila is just a concept, then I’m not an alcoholic, I am a philosopher.

        9. Tfckmk988

          So i*∞ ?

        10. Squall

          http://squallloir.tumblr.com/post/59662329490/because-im-a-philosopher-not-an-alcoholic

        11. Ocbrad1

          This thread makes me so happy. Internets for everyone!

        12. Volkai

          Actually you have a money problem because Tequila may be infinite, but it is not free.

        13. xKiv

          But .. that’s not how you count tequila!

          One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor!

  4. Frogboy

    Just because you say something is canonical doesn’t make it canonical. I REJECT YOUR CANON AND SUBSTITUTE MY OWN.

    1. Yotomoe

      I fired a cannon at your cannon.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I fired a cannon at your canon.

        FIXED!

        1. Valerie

          I fired a canon at your cannon.

        2. Anon

          I fired a canon at your canon.

        3. Josh

          Cannon x Faz OTP.

        4. davidbreslin101

          ….clearly, being a mid-ranking clergyman of the Church of Yotomoe is a dangerous profession.

    2. Volkai

      The canon cannon is now a fiction fan.

    3. Bratty Roger

      When it comes to distorting classic tales (be they myth, or fiction, or legend) nothing corrupts such stories like… Disney-corpification

      Darth Mickey must die!!

  5. Ryune

    Rofl even Ruth knows what she truly is to her kids.

    1. Somebody

      But she’s not that much older than most students.

  6. The Candyman

    Amazi-Girl action mode, engage!

    1. Yotomoe

      New amazi-girl figures, with opposable crying action.

      1. Frogboy

        Some kind of kung-fu drip?

        1. Doctor_Who

          The KamehameWAHHH.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          +1ed

        3. JBO

          The bancry!

          (for those who don’t get it it’s a pun on Bankai)

        4. Yotomoe

          The Glum-Glum fruit.

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          Moon Prism PoWAHHHHHHH!

        6. AJBulldis

          Kage bunshin no jutsob.

        7. Yotomoe

          Sadow clone jutsu.

        8. JBO

          The power of the depression spiral.
          FIGHT DA POWAH!

        9. Hoboturtle

          Take this! My love, my anger, but mostly my sorrow! CRYING FINGER SWORD!

        10. Doctor_Who

          The Dragon Bawls.

    2. Doctor_Who

      Since she’s a fan of Beast Wars, I could totally imagine her making the traditional Transformers “whrr-tschzz-tschzz-tschzz-chk” sound when she puts her mask on.

  7. VizardJeffhog

    ROLLING AROUND AT THE SPEED OF SOUND

    1. Kernanator

      GOT PLACES TO GO GOTTA FOLLOW MY RAINBOW

      1. Prof. Willis

        CAN’T STICK AROUND HAVE TO KEEP MOVIN’ ON

        1. VizardJeffhog

          GUESS WHAT LIES AHEAD
          ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT

        2. LiamAldam

          I DON’T CARE WHAT LIES AHEAAAAD
          NO TIME FOR CHANCES FOLLOW MY PLAN INSTEAD

        3. Aizat

          BTW, love the ElectaBuzz Lightyear gravatar.

        4. Squall

          That’s freaking amazifazing!

        5. Ronnie

          TRUSTING IN WHAT YOU CAN’T SEE
          TAKE MY LEAD I’LL SET YOU FREE

        6. Zana

          FOLLOW ME
          SET ME FREE
          TRUST ME AND WE WILL ESCAPE FROM THE CITY
          I’LL MAKE IT THROUGH
          FOLLOW ME

        7. ArkhamTexan

          PROVE IT TO YOUUUUUUU!

        8. Yotomoe

          WHAT LIES AHEAD ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT

      2. Aizat

        I’m a shooting star leaping through the skies
        Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
        I’m a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva
        I’m gonna go go go
        There’s no stopping me

        1. Kernanator

          I’M BURNING THROUGH THE SKY, YEAH
          200 DEGREES, THAT’S WHY THEY CALL ME MR. FAHRENHEIT
          I’M TRAVELING AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT
          I WANNA MAKE A SUPERSONIC MAN OUT OF YOU

        2. Aizat

          Now, I have a craving to bash zombies with cricket bat somehow.

        3. VizardJeffhog

          KILL THE QUEEN

        4. Kernanator

          THE QUEEN WILL LIVE ON FOREVER

        5. VizardJeffhog

          I MEANT THE JUKEBOX

        6. Wack'd

          Gonna oh–oh–oh–exploooooooodeegsSsfcsg*cjsjfhofha9ud*s8fhadgua

        7. Zana

          DON’T STOP ME NOW, I’M HAVIN’ SUCH A BAD TIME
          I’M HAVIN’ A BAWL
          …
          oh god I’m going to get shot for that pun.

        8. Kernanator

          DON’T STOP ME NOW, IF YOU WANNA HAVE A BAD TIME
          BE A CRIMINAL.

          (Internet high-five for pun)

        9. AgentKeen

          Now I’m just imagining a mash-up of ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ with MJ’s ‘Smooth Criminal.’

        10. Starscreamer

          Stop with the Freddy references…especially that song. It puts Shaun of the Dead in my head! 😛

    2. Dreamcaster

      The first thing I thought of when I saw that panel were the rail-sliding 2P stages in Sonic Adventure 2.

  8. Psycho

    Damn, I didn’t know she could do THAT.

    1. Heatth

      She is the Amazin-Girl. Of course she can do that!

      1. Paul

        Wouldn’t it be amazing if we were all pushed to become superheroes and gain amazing moves by our emotional trauma? Instead of gaining, you know, crippling neuroses?

        1. Darth

          Isn’t that pretty much The Hulk?

        2. NF

          Why not both?

          Wait, that is practically half of all superheroes.

        3. Valerie

          LET’S DO THIS. I grew up poor, soooo… *goes all “Robin Hood” on some rich people* Childhood trauma fixed! 😀

        4. Luzahn

          Well, I mean the superpowers are crippling neuroses more often than not. So I guess we’re halfway there.

      2. Josh

        Isn’t that Sal?

  9. Safgaftsa

    It seems that swinging oneself over a stairway rail and then sliding down the banister is much more straightforward than ripping a mask off and stuffing it in your pocket.

    Of course, Amber may just want to be alone right now.

  10. Paul

    Why are all of Willis’s characters so damn cute when they look just a little sad?

    1. Yotomoe

      Maybe you secretly find sad people adorable?

      1. Aizat

        I can’t help it…every time I see crying people, I just wanted to give them a hug.

        1. The Candyman

          Me too.

          Well, either that or I want to laugh at them. It depends.

        2. Aizat

          I only laugh at people’s misery if they are the people I hate. It’s calming.

        3. Somebody

          You know, I don’t think most people really mean it when they say “hate”. You’re usually just really mad at them

        4. Shade

          Typically not. “Hate” is just convenient and easy on the tongue.

        5. Squall

          A lot of parents would not want you hugging their kids. But that’s because they can only see your name. I mean for all we know, that van is a Tardis. Maybe you’re actually a cancerous Lincoln probe with phosphorescent lighting that has a lower carbon footprint by 25% off if you call right now or later cuz I might be busy doing important visiting politicians should get our full attention deficit of 100 million double dollars off at the megamart on Monday night football players at the bar order you drinks it all up in the air reserves are sent off in times new roman empires fall to your banana Republican Party line to the roller coaster to avoid random encounters.

        6. Paul

          When I see people who are sad, my first impulse is to hug them, but I guess that’s “creepy,” and I should “put some clothes on.”

          http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=817

        7. ArkhamTexan

          Same here. In fact, I prefer them that way. That makes me sound incredibly predatory, but…

          … wait, I don’t actually have a defense that makes that seem less horrible. Well, I *prefer* it, but I don’t actively seek it or take *advantage* of it.

          >.>
          <.<

    2. Historyman68

      It’s because they’re cartoons.

  11. Tomb

    I like how even though she is being bad ass with the railing you can see tears flying from under her mask too. Speaks well of the situation, that it does.

  12. Safgaftsa

    I just realized that Amber’s jacket is somewhat reminiscent of her cape.

  13. Pizzathehutt

    Quick Amber! 30 seconds of Hardcore Parkour!

  14. Jen Aside

    Are you kidding? There’s gotta be like 200 steps!

    1. Aizat

      AMAZI-GIRL HAS NO TIME FOR STAIRS!

    2. Yotomoe

      but only 6 rails.
      ahaa.

    3. SplashBoogie

      Well if you don’t think you can do it…

  15. Regalli

    Oh, Amber, sweetie.

  16. Fay

    I CALLED IT

    I MOTHERF*CKING CALLED IT

  17. Gram91

    Where does she go to learn/practice this stuff?!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Children’s playgrounds?

    2. Yotomoe

      Assasin’s Creed.

      1. Doctor_Who

        Or Mirror’s Edge.

        If it’s from AC, she’s going to be info a nasty shock when she learns that not every tall building has a convenient haystack next to it. And even if it does, that will do nothing to save you from a fall of several hundred feet.

        1. Orion Fury

          Relavent: http://youtu.be/EUOMDODEBk0

    3. JBO

      The Shangri-Lama?

      1. Aizat

        I guess she learned from the Law and Order Monks there.

      2. Ocbrad1

        Not to be confused with the Shangri-llama.

        1. Cybersnark

          Or the angry llama.

  18. The Candyman

    It looks like Amber is taking a slip in the second panel.

  19. JBO

    Willis this is like telling us not to think about elephants.

  20. Dreamcaster

    If sliding on rails was an Olympic sport, she’d take the gold.
    Now she just needs to get some soap shoes.

    1. VizardJeffhog

      And then I looked at your username.

  21. Sammie1053

    Although i want to give Amber a good hard shaking back and forth angrily for running from Ruth, i have to admit the railslide was pretty badass.
    Plus, hearing Ruth (almost) refer to herself as Ruthless is pretty entertsining.

    1. Sammie1053

      *entertaining. For god’s sake autocorrect, gimme a break for once.

  22. MechaMaidFan7

    “The mask… put it on, is gonna make you strong”

    1. Aizat

      Power’s all in the costume! Why else would we run around in colored undies?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Her costume allows her immunity to criticism.

        1. The Candyman

          And the ability to shred serious rails.

      2. Cybersnark

        There are two types of superheroes.

        Those who have to wear a ridiculous costume, and those who get to wear a ridiculous costume.

  23. Varangian

    While it’s sad that she’s not taking Ruth’s extended hand, lemme just note how fucking badass Amber looks sliding down that rail. Like, fuck yeah Amazi-Girl.

    Or at least, sort of fuck yeah. Fuck yeah to the parts that aren’t horribly emotionally crippling?

    1. Yotomoe

      Fuck maybe.

  24. nothri

    Willis, your hidden text has far to much faith in us as human beings. Just FYI.

    1. David Willis

      Pffft. I trust in my plug-ins.

      1. The Candyman

        Well I can’t even read the hovertext, so that makes me immune to your powers, Wills!

        God I need a new PC.

      2. Squall

        I still think she’s batman.

      3. ArkhamTexan

        I was going to say “Silly Willis, nobody can actually tell their fandom what they want and have them actually follow through on it!”

        But you actually have plug-ins set up to delete Spider-Car/Ultra-Car comments from now on? Or am I just thinking you’re a wizard?

        1. ArkhamTexan

          HE’S A WIZARD!

      4. Megatron

        Yesssss, put your faith in machines.

  25. piemanpie24

    Thank you for that alt-text, my good sir. When the horse-owner tells you to stop beating the horse, you know a joke has gone way past its time.

    1. Yotomoe

      I think the first person to tell you to stop beating the horse is the owner.

      1. Rex Hondo

        I’m pretty sure the horse usually has something to say about it first. Most people just don’t realize it because they don’t speak horse.

        1. The Candyman

          “Don’t worry! The cries of pain mean he’s enjoying it!”

    2. Bullycon

      Now we just need to get Shortpacked commenters to stop calling Ken by every other Street Fighter character name and life will be perfect.

      1. The Candyman

        Hey, Robin started it.

      2. fit-to-freak

        that one doesn’t bother me as much, because at least people just use the wrong name and keep talking about the strip and character. with the ‘sal is amazigirl’ shit we couldn’t even discuss amber in the context of her being a superhero without it being immediately derailed.

  26. Geminia999

    She’s Sonic!

    1. Yotomoe

      That makes Ruth Knuckles.
      and Dina Tails
      And Blaine Robotnik.
      Danny is of course, Amy.

      1. VizardJeffhog

        Sal is Shadow, Walky is Big, Joyce is Cream…

        1. Darth

          Does that make Beef E-123 Omega?

        2. Aizat

          GAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! Shadow the Hedgehog….how I hate that Mary Sue.

        3. Zana

          I’m afraid to ask who is Rouge… probably Roz.

  27. Plasma Mongoose

    Looks like a few comments didn’t get the hint mentioned in the HOVERTEXT and got Orwellian Edited out of existance.

  28. spaceinvader42

    Wait… AMBER is AMAZI-GIRL?

    1. Aizat

      Where were you yesterday?

  29. Animal

    Am I the only one that thinks Amber may have actually found a productive way to channel her rage? There is, after all, such a thing as a righteous rage.

    Incidentally, have you all ever noticed how badly screwed up the Jedi from Luca’s Star Wars were in this respect? I wonder if even Lucas himself realizes the unwitting moral lesson from those stories.

    Here you have the Jedi, who are basically a bunch of detached warrior-priests, who eschew and deny any emotional connections. They don’t marry, they don’t have families, they cultivate this whole calm detachment thing, claiming it gives them strength.

    Set against them are the Sith, who believe that anger, hate and rage give them strength.

    Now, the whole story takes place around a prophecy, that one man will arise and bring balance between the light and dark sides of the Schw… er, the Force. In effect, he will bridge the gap between Jedi and Sith. In the (godawful, cheesy) prequels, we are led to believe that the child of prophecy is Anakin Skywalker – it isn’t, of course.

    It’s Luke. And how did Luke achieve this balance?

    He ignored Obi-Wan and Yoda, who were still preaching the tired old Jedi detachment crap at him. He followed his better instincts, but – and this is the important bit – he only found strength to beat Vader when he channeled a righteous rage out of filial love for his sister.

    Vader, also, finally found redemption when he turned on the Emperor – his master – out of paternal love for his son.

    The Jedi had it wrong all along. Luke only won when he ignored them.

    Now here we have Amber, who never had the calm detachment of a Jedi, but has found a way to channel her rage and make it work for something positive: Punching bad guys in the face.

    1. Yotomoe

      Yep. Because she is clearly the one who decides who gets punched in the face. The people who deserve it. The bad guys, the criminals, the thieves, the bullies, the people she doesn’t like, the person who burned the roast, the person who won’t listen to her authority…

      1. ArkhamTexan

        I am so damn TIRED of you defending roast-burners, Yotomoe! I say it’s HIGH TIME we make those roast-burners suffer for their sins of ruining dinner by paying unto kind! WE SHALL TOSS THEM IN MY HUMAN-SIZED (serves 8!) CROCK POT AND LET THEM KNOW THE EXTENT OF THE FOLLY!

        1. Yotomoe

          What if I told you that…
          I AM A ROAST BURNER.

        2. ArkhamTexan

          Then won’t you come over? I’d love to have you stop by for… dinner.

    2. Jonathan S.

      I always figured that Anakin did indeed bring balance to the Force.

      First, he eliminated the hidebound Jedi, whose crippling emotional detachment left them unable to relate to, and help solve the problems of, the people of the galaxy.

      Next, he eliminated the Sith – that is to say, first the Emperor, then himself. This took out the faction whose crippling emotional dependence left them unable to resist the temptation to rule with an iron fist – for everyone’s own good, of course.

      And in the end, he left his son, a powerful Force-user who grew up separated from both the Jedi and Sith philosophies until he was grown up enough to make choices. Luke is now able to forge a future for the Force that is free of both extremes, of detachment from and surrender to the passions.

      So you see, Anakin did indeed restore balance to the Force, in a way that nobody on either side could possibly foresee…

      1. David Willis

        I’ve always enjoyed the “Anakin brought balance to the Force by killing everyone involved on both sides” line of thought. It lends this air of…. something… to the prophesy.

        1. The Candyman

          Well, he didn’t touch the Sith, but that’s mainly because they conveniently decided to genocide themselves awhile ago (Rule of Two and all that).

        2. David Willis

          He killed both Dooku and Palpatine and also maybe that evil gray lady from the Clone Wars cartoons, I can’t remember?

        3. Aizat

          Asajj Ventress? Actually she is somehow alive.

        4. David Willis

          GREAT JOB ANAKIN

        5. The Candyman

          “How the hell can we call you the chosen if you can’t even pull off a proper genocide? Tsk.”

        6. Somebody

          If he wouldn’t have panicked about Padme, she would have lived. And Ventress sort of becomes a good guy…or at doesn’t really bother anyone after a while.

        7. Jackson

          She wasn’t really a Sith though, so it’s cool.

        8. AngryBamboo

          you had ONE JOB!

        9. ninja_jesus

          Who are those people? O_o And the Clone Wars? You mean the one that Obi-Wan referred to in IV but was NEVER EVER EXPANDED UPON? o_<

        10. davidbreslin101

          You mean, “the one that Obi-Wan referred to in ‘Star Wars’….” >_o

        11. Kernanator

          Almost a “Monkey’s Paw” kind of air, I think.

        12. Kamino Neko

          Except when Anakin was finished – the Emperor dead by his hand, he dead and redeemed himself – by the movies, there are no Dark Side users left, and a new Jedi order forming.

          And by the expanded universe, he hardly made a dent in either.

        13. Dark_Razor

          Even in the Expanded Universe he made a dent on the Jedi.
          Sure he missed some Jedi but the order pretty much had to be reformed by luke, who scoured the galaxy for surviving information on the Order.
          The sith… Well he wiped out what we knew; there was still Lumiya, and the Lost Tribe, Verjere, and any fallen new order Jedi

        14. Megatron

          Agree. I don’t understand why people do find Anikin a sympathetic character. My only real problem is that he eventually betrayed and overthrew his boss. That’s just being a dick.

  30. guy

    How could she gain that much speed from such a short drop and turn? Does she have super momentum?

    1. Yotomoe

      She’s holding the B button.

      1. VizardJeffhog

        And making sure she’s keeping balance by tilting the analog stick the right way!

        1. Jack Finch

          I often meditate on what Amazi-girl might do with an analog stick.

    2. AgentKeen

      Science likes big butts….

      1. Dicrel Seijin

        Specifically gravity like big butts. That’s where the whole low center of gravity comes from.

        1. Rognik

          I like big butts and I can also lie.

  31. Kirby

    It’s adorable that he thinks that half the people will ever let go of a joke.

    Ever.

    1. Kirby

      *half the people here would

      Something tells me it’s time to get off the interweb early, for tonight.

    2. Yotomoe

      It doesn’t matter. He’ll just silence those who disobey.

      1. The Candyman

        I’m sorry, citizen, but the mentioning of Amazi-Girl’s alleged identity is considered treason. Please proceed immediately to the nearest termination booth. Have a nice daycycle!

        1. Beachfox

          Why that’s just silly! Everyone knows that there is no secret identity to Amazi-Girl, and any rumors to the contrary are spread only by commie mutant traitors who wish to destroy our way of life!

        2. Megatron

          I’m so glad I have blue security clearance.

        3. Jonathan S.

          I’m sorry, citizen, but revealing your security clearance to citizens not of your security clearance is a violation of security procedures, and is considered treason. Please report to your local Happy Funtimes Playland and Termination Center for debriefing. The Computer is your friend!

  32. C.

    Always wear the mask.

  33. Yotomoe

    AMBER CONFIRMED FOR TONY HAWK UNDERGROUND 3.

    1. Darth

      AMBER CONFIRMED FOR SUPER SMASH BROS 4

      1. Aizat

        Don’t tempt me…Nintendo already tempt with Megaman in SSB4.

        1. VizardJeffhog

          AMBER CONFIRMED FOR SONIC ADVENTURE 3

    2. Squall

      I really want a game that mixes Tony Hawk and Mirror’s Edge. That would be AMAZING

  34. Kunoichi

    Wow, that Girl is pretty Amazing!

  35. NF

    Masked Amber is Badass Amber.

  36. timemonkey

    Yeah, I spent several minutes wondering how it was raining on Amber in the fourth panel. Then I stopped being stupid for a brief moment.

  37. Aizat

    If I have to rate Amber’s exit, I’d give her a 9.

  38. Matt

    If we’re suddenly declaring jokes dead, Mr. Willis, can we get an official end to “FAAAAACE” jokes?

    1. Aizat

      Why? FAAAACE jokes are …….somewhat funny.

      1. FreeRegent

        Aizat, I have some bad news…

        1. The Candyman

          He’s the father, isn’t he? Dammit, Aizat, I told you to just use the damn condom!

        2. Aizat

          Wait, who did I screw last night?

  39. CRtwenty

    I wonder how many points she’s getting for that badass slide?

    1. Aizat

      In a scale of 1-10, 9.

    2. Kernanator

      According to Sonic Colors, 3000 points per second, after a two second count.

  40. Unit Eleven

    MUST KEEP SECRET IDENTITY SECRET.

    (Also, it’s good that a joke that outstayed its welcome got shut down.)

    1. That Damn Rat

      Oh, how cute, you think those jokes will ever stop.

  41. Synnerman

    Time for a quick change. (Probably not, but still…)

    http://youtu.be/C-m0ehT3_mo

    1. Aizat

      That’s 3 for 3 with the Mask of the Phantasm theme.

      1. The Candyman

        It’s Amazi-Girl’s new leitmotif. Amazi-Girl kicking ass? Mask of the Phantasm theme. Amazi-Girl having a moment of broodiness? Mask of the Phantasm theme. Amazi-Girl shopping for groceries? Mask of the Phantasm theme.

  42. ProjectXa3

    Yay for the alt-text! And for what it says!

  43. Mattyos

    why can’t we just follow the jamie hyneman method and just go “when in doubt….c4”

    it would be way faster and actually RELIEVE stress while removing the problems!

  44. Gottawonder

    Rincewind ran away from everything, which usually landed him in hotter water than what he was trying to get out of in the first place, and finalized with him reluctantly saving the City, State, World or whatever was currently in danger in the Diskworld at the time.
    Amber maybe should’ve talked to Ruth who genuinely wanted to help, but how was Amber to know that, even Ruth just showed us that she
    knows her own rep. in with the kids.
    Great exit Amber. I hope you find someone to talk to who will listen.
    And where is Blaine at this moment in time?

    1. Bilfred

      Actually, she should have just saved discworld, thus solving Rincewind’s problems.

      1. John

        And then Rincewind could hit Blaine with a half-brick in a sock, thus solving Amber’s problems?

        1. Bilfred

          exactly.

  45. Darth Cariss

    I’m glad you’re telling people to stop with the Amazi-Girl identity jokes. I was tired of them after the first three Amazi-Girl strips. Come to think of it, while I enjoy a lot of internet memes, I rarely enjoy any of the memes specific to your comic(s), Willis. Weird. The “for a nickle” one is probably the best.

  46. Bilfred

    I predict a Mike appearance sometime in the near future…

  47. Tenn

    It seems like The Willis regrets ever making that joke in the first place! *trollsmirk*

    But no matter. I have seen the error of my ways, and realized that Amber is actually Leonardo.

  48. Grimlock64

    Rollin’ around at the speed of sound
    Got places to go, gotta follow my rainbow!

  49. Jack Finch

    Áh dammit. She ran. Not good.

  50. Arkadi

    But did Ruthless see her with the mask on?

  51. acher4

    Sad and Badass at the same time. Wow!

  52. NinjaNick

    Panel 4 is just awesome.

  53. Josh

    So where is Amazi-Girl? I can see her tag, but I can’t see her in the comic?

    1. Vash

      That’s how super ninja she is.

  54. Inarx

    She know she doesn’t have to run.

    That’s why she’s sliding.

  55. lightsabermario

    Let’s hope she doesn’t accelerate too fast and disintegrate into coins at the bottom.

  56. tahrey

    Also… “Ms” rather than “Miss” Lessick?

    Is she, like, common-law-gay-married to Billie now, then? 😀

    1. Bunk

      Miss and Ms are interminable. You’re thinking Mrs.

    2. captainswift

      You have exactly the opposite idea of what “Ms” means. It was coined as an honorific that was completely independent of marital status. Men were “Mr.” whether they were married or not; women were “Miss” before marriage, “Mrs.” after.

      “Ms” was coined (surprisingly in 1901 it looks like, but it became popular in the 70s) to allow women to be addressed without concern over whether they had a spouse. It has absolutely nothing to do with common-law-gay-marriage to Billie.

      1. John

        I vote for the common-law-gay-marriage to Billie anyway.

  57. tahrey

    Also also, I really wanna know what’s written on her shirt. I just can’t quite make it out, even after stepping back about thirty strips to the point where she’s dressed in yellow instead.

    Also also also… FAZ IS STILL IN HER ROOM WITH DINA. OH GOD.

    Let’s hope Mr S is secretly a judo master.

    1. John

      Yeah. I’ve been more worried about Dina with Faz than Amber with Blaine. Amber can take care of herself, at least physically. I’m not sure about Dina, and her parents don’t seem like great backup.

      1. Biege

        maybe, but then faz has never shown himself to be the type to really force himself on anyone so much as stand near them being unbearably creepy. So she’s probably highly uncomfortable but also not in any danger

  58. Aeron

    “My school, I can not deny her. My school screams. She is my mother. She is my lover, and I am her Spirit.”

    1. RobHagen

      *starts drinking Linkara-style* That…movie.

      *drinks some Secret Bourbon*

  59. Bunk

    Rolling around at the speed of sound.

  60. davidbreslin101

    “If you need to talk, just kick my door down.”

  61. Robin

    So then, Amber runs into Danny and his parents, and Danny realises that Amber is Amazi-girl.

    1. The Candyman

      It’s adorable you think Danny will ever find out.

      1. ArkhamTexan

        Perhaps the next step is having Danny find out. If Willis thinks the joke he’d like to have stop today got old (and was probably tired of it when he originally wrote this storyline) then perhaps he’s also tired of Danny’s denseness regarding Amber/Amazi-Girl too and will resolve that one soon.

  62. RamenJunkie

    Why is Amber dressed like Amazigirl? I thought Sal was Amazigirl…

    1. fit-to-freak

      read the hovertext, we have overthrown the meme
      huzzah

  63. Surgeville

    I’m sure this has been discussed, but why was Ruth’s name changed from Lesse to Lessick?

    1. Tenn

      Probably for realism. If your last name is Lesse, you don’t name your daughter Ruth unless you want her to be known as “Ruthless”. If your last name is Lessick, OTOH, the pun could be unintentional.

      1. The Candyman

        Then again, parents can be pretty ignorant of that kind of thing. Like that one stupid parent who decided to name his kid “Deejay” or something. >.>

  64. hof1991

    So she flees Ruth and leaves the ” safety” of the stairwell and goes outside where Blaine is looking for her. No, this was not a wise choice.

    OTOH, the drama tag has certainly been pulled.

    1. Jack Finch

      As Amazi-girl, she might be looking for Blaine, not the other way around. Which is almost scarier.

      1. The Candyman

        THERE IS NO AMBER, ONLY ZUUL.

    2. Shade

      Ha! The drama tagged has been pulled, pressed, punched and twisted to the point that it just wants to be pulled out of its misery.

      Or a hug.

  65. lightsabermario

    We shall NEVER stop making those jokes, Willis!

    (I never did those anyway, but it’s the principle of the matter.)

  66. wwlaos

    I don’t understand why we would stop making those jokes, let alone *now*. What does anything in this story or on this page have to do with not making those jokes anymore?

    They will continue to be made. Forever.

    1. David Willis

      Then I hope everyone’s happy with them being immediately deleted.

      1. Doom Shepherd

        …and my axe!

      2. Rheinman

        Yes, please.

      3. Random832

        As a compromise, can we still, provided it comes up in conversation normally, assert that we definitely did not know who Amazi-Girl was before yesterday?

        Also, by the way, the older strip back in April with the flashback to the robbery wasn’t tagged with Amber. So we’re left to assume that the character pictured is actually Amber/Amazi-girl’s twin sister who you haven’t named yet.

        1. Robin

          > provided it comes up in conversation normally,

          That reminds me of the time I had sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom.

      4. fit-to-freak

        yes yes yes thank you we can finally discuss amber being amazi-girl and what that means etc.

      5. Hotsauce

        I don’t even know the jokes of which you speak, and now it’s too late. Oh horrible, over-used, and probably insensitive joke! What could have been, if only I’d known sooner??

  67. GUIGUI

    When did Amber learned to Parkour like that? How long did she train before she managed to be that good? Surely 2 months of summer vacation isn’t enough to as a ramp like that.

    1. Jackson

      She did track and field in high school.

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/04-time-keeps-on-slippin/crosscountry/

  68. Pinja

    How did Amber get so amazingly agile?

    1. Jackson

      Track and field.

  69. Bloody_Jerk

    Now I feel really bad for Ruth.

    1. Vash

      Your name (and gravatar) are extremely unfitting to your comment, its gotta be said.

      1. Bloody_Jerk

        I’m drunk, that’s all.

  70. Doom Shepherd

    End of the idendity jokes? It’s about frakkin’ gorram time.

  71. Packy

    Ok… I know Amber shouldn’t be running from her problems… but I see her sliding down the bannister like that, and the only thought in my mind is “Damn… Amber’s bad-ass!”

  72. The Candyman

    I like how Ruth just watches Amber shred those rails like it’s no big deal.

    1. fit-to-freak

      I assumed that Ruth couldn’t see Amber- like the stairs curved.

      1. John

        Yeah, looks like it’s one of those stairwells that switches back every half-flight, and Amazi-Girl’s first move was to vault the railing down to the lower switchback (and sliding down the rail is impressive enough; sticking the landing on it after going over the rail a half-story up… girl’s got skills), so the upper switchback is probably hiding her from Ruth.

        1. David Willis

          Can probably hear her pretty well, though.

  73. The Candyman

    Hey, I didn’t know [REDACTED] could parkour like that!

    1. fit-to-freak

      Oh you!

  74. Wuvmuffin

    Looks like both Amber and Ruth could use the wuvmuffin of happiness.

  75. Alex Stritar

    Say, how come Ruth was introducing herself as Ruthless?

    1. showler

      She worked hard for that nickname and reputation. It just wasn’t appropriate in this case.

  76. Rich

    Oh snap, is she wearing Soaps?

  77. Nova

    So Amber was Amazi-girl the WHOLE TIME?

    1. The Candyman

      A twist of M. Night Shyamalan proportions.

  78. The Chosen One

    You can’t tell from this angle, but she’s actually sliding *up* those stairs.
    Friggin’ Escher Prints.

  79. Biege

    good thing amber had those special tires fitted as part of her spider-car disguise or else that might have hurt.

    1. Biege

      also, we have finaly driven Willis to put the name of one of his own characters on the list of words we’re not allowed to say.

      I believe this calls for a toast, ladies and gentlemen

  80. Henry

    Glad to see that mention of a certain sentient automobile was sufficient to have an actual question deleted, so again, I’ll ask:

    Are we actually going to see said character in Dumbing of Age? Even if it’s something like how HA and Monkey Master are included?

  81. maycroft

    EXREEEEME!!!!!

  82. Paul

    Fourth panel: The banister rail is lubricated by her tears. 🙁

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