141

Anything
Posted on January 23, 2013 by David M Willis

141 thoughts on “Anything”

  1. Robbie C

    Whoa, Dorothy. Don’t be so quick to judge. Kraft Macaroni and Cheese gets me going, too.

    1. Yotomoe

      It is by far the kinkiest of all Kraft products.

      1. Lamachine

        Can it really get kinkier than Jell-O? I think not. Classics are classics.

        1. Agera

          Peanut butter is the answer!

        2. Boom

          Only if the question is in braille.

        3. Dibullba

          Oh please, clearly Kool-Aid is the way to go. HEY KOOL-AID MAN!!
          *In R&B voice*: OH YEAH!!!

        4. CWR

          You’ll basically be wearing a shirt that says “eat me” when viewed with Walky-vision.

        5. Ivan

          Cool Whip or forget it.

        6. shecterman15

          CHOC-O-LATE.
          Nuff’ said.

        7. GrrArg42

          Are you a nut? Nutella is where it’s at!

      2. Witch [Soul] of Heart

        I thought that was spiral pasta, my dear?

    2. KaelemGaen

      Nutella, Whipped Cream and Chewy Caramel… (I don’t like cherries)

    3. Jenny Creed

      A lady of your quality should wear exquisite clothes or nothing at all, and it so happens I have nothing back at my dorm room.

  2. Wonder Wig

    That wet sound when you stir a pot of mac and cheese…

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      As I have never heard what this sound is, can you describe it to me or even post a video of said sound?

      1. Blob Marley

        *schwkt*

        1. Charlie Spencer

          Nah, it’s more like *sklooorp*

        2. Kintrex

          I’m a fan of *tlotl*

      2. madd

        Apparently, it’s a magical sound … lol
        http://youtu.be/jnCWJLc6Z24

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Thanks, it sounds like liquid crackles.

      3. tahrey

        IDK, buy a tin of it, put in a saucepan, warm it up and stir?

        Schhllububuplupschhhzzzle

    2. Lamachine

      That’s all the subtext I need. Now I can’t get “Girl, kraft me that dinner” out of my head.

      1. Tom Speelman

        “You heard me, baby! Kraft me that dinner!” someone might say

    3. TheGrumpyBear

      Wonder Wig…. you mean that wonderful “Schlorpschlorpschlorpspluick” noise? 😀

  3. Kurai Seraphim

    The joke’s on her. He’s going to drop the shirt away and she’s going to be wearing a tiny blue box.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Like a model TARDIS?

      1. Vabolo

        It’s bigger on the inside

        ;D

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          No man can possibly be good enough if this was the case.

        2. FigmentFreud

          Technically, all vaginas are like that …

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          So that’s why the Doctor nicknamed his TARDIS Sexy!

        4. tahrey

          I thought that was just because of when it’s “spirit” was played by Suranne Jones?

    2. Aizat

      A cardboard box? Snake approved.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        ”!”

        1. Blob Marley

          Hey, what’s in the box?

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          …box with the dots.

        3. Nee Hou

          “Hey, what’s in the box?”
          Make you look at Dr. Who in a whole new subtext.

  4. Reiku

    Wow, I found the next comic completely by accident XD.

    I think Walky wants the cheese please

    1. Reiku

      and now I’m mike, where’s your mom, I got a nickel to spend

      1. CanvasWolfDoll

        sir, i like your ability to adapt. i’d personally spot you a nickel, by i’m afraid i’ve already spent it.

        i think you know how.

        1. Scott

          He means incest.

  5. David Herbert

    She meant she wanted her own Butt Taco shirt.

    1. Blob Marley

      IT IS BOTH AND NEITHER!

    2. Hawkwing

      You’re clearly wrong. She wanted a pair of pajama jeans.

  6. Plasma Mongoose

    The subtext I’m getting involves you wearing nothing but macoroni and cheese. 😀

    1. Yotomoe

      oh god. That actually sounds kinda hot. Remind me to draw this or something.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I personally would prefer a girl to wear Chocolate-Orange Ice Magic while in a cold room.

        What can I say, I’m a kinky bastard. 😀

        1. Neospector

          I would say “right in the childhood”, but deep, deep down I know that some warped part of my mind thinks that would be hot.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          and that part would be right. 😀

        3. Neospector

          Before we continue this conversation, I need you to sign this consent form stating that I wasn’t the one that created the inevitable sub-culture that is to follow from this.

        4. taekwondogirl

          Ice Magic?

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          Cottee’s Ice Magic

      2. Andrusi

        Well of course it’s hot if it’s freshly cooked.

    2. Tan

      Hot cheese: delicious alternative to candle wax, or most delicious alternative to candle wax?

    3. Bill M.

      Oh… I was inferring that he wanted her smothered in his creamy sauce…

    4. tahrey

      That’s basically what most of us were thinking by now I think.

      “Yeah, just wait til you see what he does with it”

  7. Doctor_Who

    Walky, the correct answer is “Here it is”, while holding up nothing at all.

    1. Yotomoe

      The correct answer was a hoodie.

    2. Aizat

      So she could feel like she’s wearing nothing at all? Or Walky could justify that it was spunned by pixies or a Cloak of Invisibility or an heirloom from a king.

    3. wednesday

      Bollocks! The correct answer is, “Here it is!” while holding up a Kraft Dinner t-shirt.

      Branding is everything.

  8. Aizat

    Dotty, you said anything. Even a very skimpy bikini and tassels is anything.

    1. CanvasWolfDoll

      okay, did i miss something? why have we been calling her dotty recently?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Dotty is a fairly common nickname for Dorothy, like how Liz is a common nickname for Elizabeth.

        1. Kelly

          For some reason I can handle her name being Dorothy, but when I hear Dotty, I think of my grandmother, even though she rarely goes by the diminutive. It’s just disturbing.

        2. CWR

          Our cat loves to chase the red laser dot – really loves it – to the point that he’s learned exactly one English word: dot. To avoid getting him overstimulated in anticipation, I will ask my wife “Can you get Dorothy ready? If he doesn’t burn off some energy we’ll get no sleep tonight.”

      2. Wack'd

        Evidently we all have a death wish.

    2. taekwondogirl

      That’s what she was saying. The implied subtext is something sexy, as sexy as he can imagine.

      1. Jacob

        Walky got the subtext. He’s holding it.

  9. ProfWillis

    Hey now Dorothy, don’t be so quick to judge–I don’t see him holding any pants…

  10. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

    Dorothy, if you’re going to make Walky delve some into the world of professionalism, you’re also going to have to delve into the world of Walkyism. Just because you have Monkey Master in common doesn’t mean much unless you go full Walky. Same goes for you Walky except vice-versa with the Dorothyism.

    1. Viktoria

      This. /She/ would probably be far more comfortable in a bustier than in Walky’s particular brand of uber-casual clothes. That’s sort of the point though, she needs to wear what he is comfortable with if she’s going to make him wear something he’s not comfortable with.

      1. CWR

        So you’re saying that she should go Walkybout?

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Is the Full Walky anything like the Full Monty?

    3. Pinja

      You never go full Walky…

      1. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

        No one can be as full Walky as Walky himself.

    4. Jackson

      She did say, “Well, okay.” If that’s really what he wants, I think she’s ready to go ahead with this.

      1. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

        I’m just trying to give her the big nudge in the right direction.

    5. Heavensrun

      I think you’ve missed the subtext as well.

  11. Phil

    Innocence at its most awesome. “OOH! We can both wear stuff *I* like!”

  12. Deemah

    Hey Dorothy, I think Walky knows sexy (just not good Mac & Cheese)

    1. Aizat

      So, who’s the Mac and who’s the Cheese?

      1. John

        Well, we already know that the Cheese is [IW! SPOILERS REDACTED].

  13. wednesday

    Maybe she likes Annie’s. Target has some pretty nice sales on Annie’s sometimes.

  14. Count Dracula

    Dorothy should learn the a person like Walky won’t ever pick up subtext, ever. If this keeps up, it’ll be like the episode of [insert sitcom] where the naggy wife drops subtle hints to the thickheaded, lazy dad, and then gets angry when he doesn’t pick them up. I HATE that episode.

    1. Roborat

      Dude, sorry, Count, you just described virtually every episode of any sitcom ever made.

  15. Chris M

    IT’S JUST CALLED KRAFT DINNER (or KD) YOU AMERICAN HEATHENS

    1. Chris M

      See, look! I even got the avatar of the expert on the subject.

      1. taekwondogirl

        Except Walky’s American.

        HEAVEN FORBID multiple locales have different names for the same thing! How on earth will we ever manage to tell them apart?

    2. scabbert

      Seems legit. Especially given Kraft being a Botswana-based company, and all.

    3. Valdrax

      In America, Kraft makes more than one pasta dinner product.

      Speaking of which, does anyone else miss Kraft Egg Noodle & Chicken Dinner? In retrospect, it probably wasn’t really that good, but it’s a taste of childhood that I really miss.

    4. Andrusi

      Maybe it’s Kraft Dinner in crappy countries that don’t have all of Kraft’s other dinners.

  16. Plasma Mongoose

    Dotty could offer to go the Lady Gaga route and wear nothing but a McNuggets nightie. 😉

    1. Yotomoe

      Made of actual mcnuggets? Well they are made of glue.

      1. Wack'd

        I thought they made them out of napkins.

        1. Jonadab

          Actually, apart from the breading, and the oil that they’re fried in (which typically was the previous day’s french fry oil, run through a filter by the night crew), McNuggets are made entirely out of stuff that used to be part of a chicken at one time. They’re *not* made entirely out of what you get if you go to the grocery store meat counter and buy chicken. That’s usually all breast meat, or occasionally legs and thighs, which are the places where chickens have their big muscles, hence you get large contiguous pieces of meat. McNuggets contain substantial quantities of other parts of the chicken, which are cheaper due to lower demand (because they’re not continuous big solid pieces of meat). At one time wings would’ve been included, but these days those mostly go for Buffalo wings, but that still leaves plenty of other chicken parts. Chicken back, chicken neck, etc., the less desirable parts — well, the less desirable _edible_ parts (as opposed to feathers and beaks). There was a TV advertising campaign in the eighties… “What parts of the chicken is that stuff made from? I don’t know, pieces parts. Parts is parts.” It wasn’t a very effective commercial, because it called more attention to the competing product than to the product being advertised; in fact, I don’t even remember what brand it was for or know whether they’re still in business. But the description was essentially accurate.

          As for Kraft mac & cheese, everyone knows you don’t _eat_ that. You bait rat traps with that. Proper macaroni and cheese is made with actual cheese (not day-glo orange powder) and is baked.

        2. Shade

          Wow is that what they do with the oil in America? Yikes. Here in Australia we weren’t allowed to reuse oil like that. Once it was changed that’s it straight into the drum. Everything gets new oil.

  17. JA

    Oh Walky…you’re killing me! Naivety can only go to a certain point…

  18. Confuzor

    Walky must want her to wear nothing but the shirt. That’s kinda hot in its own way…

    1. Wack'd

      Evidently you’re not the only one who thinks so.

      1. JA

        I approve.

  19. Aeron

    Because there’s a huge selection of revealing nightwear at Target… =\

    1. taekwondogirl

      There is a pretty decent selection, actually.

  20. scabbert

    He’s not missing anything, Dorothy. You just haven’t been with Walky long enough to discover how he truly rolls in the bedroom.

  21. JoeMerl

    I think you guys just have different fetishes.

  22. AsimovSideburns

    But, see, the point is to make you as uncomfortable as HE is wearing a-thing-that-is-not-a-hoodie. Those things don’t even get NAMES.

  23. Pinja

    She really is too good for him T___T

    1. Valdrax

      Personally, I think they deserve each other.

      1. begbert2

        Personally I think that Dorothy deserves him but he doesn’t deserve her. Not because he’s better than her, persay, but because he hasn’t done anything to invite being pressured to change himself. Dorothy on the other hand has dedicated herself to future and image sufficiently strongly and (arguably) selfishly that this is fair to her on account of irony.

  24. Steve

    All these comments and no one has out and out stated what they believe the subtext to be. Could someone, ’cause otherwise this is a joke that’s fallen flat…

    1. Jackson

      The subtext is sexual.

      1. DaJoshMaster

        Mmmmmm, that sexy subtext.

    2. mrelegos

      Dorothy is expecting Walky to present some kind of lingerie designed for the facilitation of sexytimes that she can wear for him.

      1. Vree

        Am I’m the only one who found that weird? This is what I consider to be a normal response to such a request. Besides, being able to dress up your significant other in stuff you like is damn alluring without any extra kinkiness coming into it.

        I am simply unable to recontruct the joke in a way that does not either rely on the reader assuming that men are natural perverts, or at least a penchant for comedic timing to realize that “anything” is meant to be the set-up for a punchline. And if a joke relies on your knowledge to realize that it has the format of a joke, then it has issues as an actual joke.

        Maybe one could add Joe to the scene to show how differently they react? Add some lead-up strips where W & D talk about sex coming up that night? No clue!

        1. ColdFury

          They’re still pretty new in their relationship, so a ‘dress up’ game isn’t really that weird.

          Maybe it’s because I’m a ‘natural pervert’ but I got the ‘subtext’ right away. <_<

        2. begbert2

          I found the subtext weird because she has a roommate it’s one thing to have fully clothed platonic boner-making non-sex in the bunk above her roomie, but it’s another thing to be putting on lingerie for their three-person study session.

          As for having to reconstruct the joke, Dorothy has made it clear that she is unimpressed with how slow Walky goes romantically. It would not be entirely out of the question to thing that when she signed up for this fling she was expecting to get a fuckbuddy out of it, and is both displeased that she didn’t and is hoping that he’ll eventually catch a clue – at least enough of one to go at the pace she wants to set.

        3. Heavensrun

          Sock on doorknob.

        4. Lawzlo

          He should get a sock for her doorknob! Heavensrun, you’re brilliant!

        5. Lawzlo

          See, now people are going to completely misinterpret what I just wrote.

      2. Valdrax

        *face palm*

        Thanks. I was missing the f’n obvious here and trying to figure out the sexual subtext in the mac & cheese shirt. Sometimes I’m too meta for my own good.

    3. Halloween Jack

      That it’s cheap, or that you usually eat the whole box, or both.

  25. sd

    Picking lingerie, or anything else good to wear for sexytimes.

  26. PureLionHeart

    …Don’t ever change, Walky. Don’t let this terrible world ever change you.

  27. Hoop

    I am sorely disappoint he didn’t find a three pack of Batman Underoos.

    But that would require moving out of his immediate line of sight, so.

  28. Jesse

    That shirt caters to a very specific interest…

  29. Andy

    Dorothy, this is Target. Even if Walky were to understand that he was supposed to find some sort of sexy lingerie for you, you’d likely be disappointed by the selection.

  30. Vert

    Sometime late at night Walky’s eyes will slam open, staring unseeing at the ceiling, while the knowledge that he is not only a doofus, but a doofus who didn’t buy his smoking hot girlfriend skimpy skivvies when he had a chance.

    1. madd

      This would have required him entering the area with all the ladies undergarments.

    2. begbert2

      Sometime this evening Dorothy’s going to greet Walk wearing nothing at *all* but that shirt, and then Walky’s eyes will really slam open.

  31. ArkhamTexan

    Most of the time, I just want to rip Walky apart limb from limb. Just punch him in his stupid face and just tell him how much of a goddamn idiot he is. Beat him with the limbs I’ve torn apart. Half of it is because he’s just an immature, dumb, 18-year-old, and they’re all like that so I’d probably do that to all of those sorts of kids… the other half… is because he reminds me EXACTLY of me at his age. >.<;

    "DAMMIT, WALKY! YOU *IDIOT!* YOU ARE AN IGNORANT SLOB, VOID OF ANY CAPABILITY OF MATURITY, WALKY! YOU'RE JUST AN IDIOT, WALKY! A DUMB KID, WALKY! WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO *STUPID,* ARKHAM?!" "… this isn't about me anymore, is it?" "… ::softly, defeated:: … no."

    I hate you Walky, but, really… it's Past Me I hate more. 😛

    1. David

      That’s, uh.. way f-ed up.

  32. Kafloobop

    No, I think he got ALLLLL of the subtext.

  33. Dauphyn

    Dunno why I didn’t notice it before, but I love that in true Target fashion, the automotive department is right next to clothes…

  34. Tenn

    I, too, think he might be missing some important s(ubt)ex(t).

    Or he’s the kind of guy who thinks that sexy lingerie is a pointless stepping-stone on the way to complete nekkidness.

  35. SSJ2Gotenks

    I didnt’ think of it sexually, accually. I was thinking she wanted him to find something overly dressy. Honestly, I like this better.

  36. Keulan

    If it had been me in Walky’s situation, I’m pretty sure I would have missed that subtext too. Some of us men are just bad at getting hints.

    1. The1exile

      More than that I don’t see why she expects Walky to come up with anything else. He’s obviously not a great clothes shopper anyway.

      But even so, if I had a girlfriend of only a few weeks and went shopping with her for the first time, without having already had sex, I would probably not respond to “you can get me anything to wear” with “right, I’m off to the lingerie section”.

  37. HD23

    I just wanted to point out that “subtext” anagrams well.

    1. John

      Ethan best gravatar for this comment.

  38. Pingback: Webcomics Top 6 | The Electronic Window

  39. Momo

    Okay, I read the subtext, and it still says “anything”. So I don’t know where she’s going with that.

  40. Late Nakagawa Ryo

    This particular strip is one of my favorite things…. EVER

  41. Pinja

    Ha, I had forgot about this. It makes its later appearances make more sense.

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