255

Appearances
Posted on August 11, 2013 by David M Willis

255 thoughts on “Appearances”

  1. Geminia999

    Come on Howard! Billie is thee one that’s pregnant!

    1. Yotomoe

      So that’s why her boobs are so big. (among other things.)

      1. Aizat

        Wait, it could be even bigger?

        1. Endest

          Come on guys, we all know that it is Howard who has the secret lesbian baby. He just doesn’t know it yet.

          This message has been approved by Ruth.

        2. Gigafreak

          Fuck yes

          Gaybies

        3. GrrArg42

          Hannelore Ellicott-Chatham from way off screen:
          “WE ARE WORKING ON THAT TECHNOLOGY!”

    2. GoldStarz

      No, in reality it is Joyce that has been implanted with the Secret Lesbian Spawn. That is what is making her act so sinful as to dare to have a friend who not only does not conform to her religious beliefs, but refuses to follow a religion at all. Also having a gay jewish boyfriend.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Dotty is the father? Walky may not like THAT development.

        1. GoldStarz

          No Dotty isn’t the father, Dotty is just subconsciously attracted to the Secret Lesbian Baby’s Secretive Lesbian Babyness and that very exposure to Babyness is driving Joyce to her and Ethan (who it is also attracting). It is very sciencey stuff, I wouldn’t expect anyone to understand on the first explanation.

        2. Gram91

          So basically, it’s totally babies.

        3. Kaci

          Full circle!

        4. Crumplepunch

          It’s babies McIntyre.

        5. Sterling

          This is sounding like goddamn Homestuck.

      2. Aizat

        No, it turns out that it’s all been planned out by the Great Worm Overlord and the dog in the control room.

        1. Neospector

          Fool, the dog is just the overseer. The League of Cats has the real control.

        2. GoldStarz

          You idiot, The League of Cats is a reverse figurehead. The dog is put up as a front for The League of Cats who are just a front for the dog. That way you’ll never think to go after the dog because no sane person would put the true master out in the open, which is exactly why only the sanest do.

        3. Neospector

          Unless they pull a super reverse, and the real leader is just a random guard who the heros knock out cold and don’t think twice about.

    3. Hinoron

      Apparently the US “education” system has not done Howard any favours. >.>

  2. Doctor_Who

    I played bass for Secret Lesbian Baby! And sometimes I would sit in on Pale and Barfy’s set when they were shorthanded.

    1. ninja_jesus

      “I Liked Her (But She Didn’t Like Me Back)” is such a great classic by Pale and Barfy.

      1. andmangrewproud

        Personally I enjoy “FAAAAAAAAAAACE” better, although it’s s much different than Pale and Barfy’s normal stuff. They actually could play that heavy metal sound when hey wanted to.

        1. ninja_jesus

          I wasn’t really a fan of that one, but “I Hate You And Your Problems” was a definite punk anthem song. Funnily enough, it was on the same album too, so that really just goes to show the range of their musical talent.

        2. TPman

          I think we can all agree that the whole album Femurs was pretty great. My favorite track has to be “For a Nickel”. The duet song with Queen of the Drunks was pretty good too.

    2. John

      Eh. I liked Pale & Barfy better when they were in Hangover.

    3. Ivan

      Damn, that IS a good band name. I wonder why David Crosby didn’t form a alternate band (like Trav Wilburys) when he had the chance!!??

  3. Sir Robin

    That means she is on the market Howard, go for it

    1. Aizat

      Oh, that would be fun, seeing Howard try his darnest to get Billie only to fail harder and harder every time.

  4. Frogboy

    “Yes, Howard, we’re having a secret lesbian baby. And that secret lesbian baby…was me.“

    1. GoldStarz

      “I am not only my own mother, I am YOUR mother, too.”

      1. ICSM

        … And I did myself for a nickel.

        1. Tunaro

          Doin’ yourself which means also doin’ your mother…Holy shit, that’s like… the Grandfather Paradox of sex!

        2. Squall

          Ruth is her own grandfather!

        3. GoldStarz

          That means she caused her own birth TWICE (unless she’s her paternal grandfather)

        4. TheBenenator

          Pretty sure there was a time travel story where someone became xer own entire family…

        5. Andrusi

          Spoilers: they’re also the bartender they were telling the story to.

        6. Blue

          I read a fic once where someone was their own mother, their own father, and all seven-to-date incarnations of the friend who set all of it in motion.

        7. Wizard

          “All You Zombies” by Robert Heinlein.

        8. TFC

          The story is “All of you, zombies”, by Robert A. Heinlein.

        9. Leorale

          Many, many years ago, when I was 23 / I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be / This widow had a grownup daughter who had hair of red / My father fell in love with her, and soon the two were wed…

        10. Somebody

          And that’s why you always marry the adult daughter, at least if your parents aren’t together/you don’t have a mother.

      2. Raen

        “All you zombies hide your faces…”

      3. Animal

        Paging David Lister.

  5. Wonder Wig

    I’m just a secret lesbian baaaaabaay.

  6. Kernanator

    I love Howard’s “are you crazy” look. At least, I’m assuming it’s an “are you crazy” look.

  7. Kafloobop

    “Secret Lesbian Baby” somebody start that band.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      The band name meme is so 00s, these days it’s tumblr names.

      1. Squall

        I think it would be better as a Band name than a tumblr blog.

        1. Jereko

          You don’t want a tumblr blog full of ultrasounds?

        2. Squall

          http://squallloir.tumblr.com/post/57964704661

        3. Josh

          Goddammit internet.

  8. KingMabel

    Hiding your love gives you that pregnant look every time

    1. saltchocolate

      As does hiding your alcohol . . . from yourself.

  9. Kartewns

    Howard is kinda dumb, guys.

    1. Totz the Plaid

      You’re only just figuring that out?

    2. xKiv

      Guys are …
      actually, humans are pretty dumb.

  10. Justnobody

    Yes Howard, they are.

  11. Becky

    Are we sure that “secret lesbian baby” is the term for a baby that two lesbians secretly conceived and NOT a term for a baby that is secretly a lesbian?

    1. Frogboy

      I was assuming that it was somehow both.

      1. Yotomoe

        Lesbians obviousely only make more lesbians.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Leaping lesbian lizards, which insidently is actually a real thing.

        2. Kamino Neko

          Whiptails are totes awesome.

        3. GoldStarz

          With bone marrow or something. It’s science.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Secret lesbian baby is similar to the surprise lesbian baby.

      1. Volkai

        Mostly because

        { Secret Lesbian Baby } + { Someone Finds Out A Secret } = { Surprise Lesbian Baby }

        is a tried and true formula.

        1. Kaci

          If girls could get pregnant from other girls…

          I think we’d all cry all the time because WE WOULD NEVER BE SAFE FROM BABIES

    3. David

      Come on. It’s well-known that all babies are into boobies like anything. It takes decades until at least women start finding men useful.

  12. xain

    Is he serious or joking either way I like this howard

    1. Jack Finch

      Yeah. I love all these characters. They constantly piss me off and break my heart, then crack me up. Love struggles to find them and they struggle so hard to love, and everyone of them is shackled by something that makes that so difficult, but they still find themselves at it. I root for them like crazy.

  13. -_-

    What is howard stupid they raising two lesbian babies one for each of them.

    1. -_-

      I’ll correct myself i meant they’re.

  14. The Candyman

    Dammit Howard, stop being such an ass. You’re acting like Danny now. Except more overt about it.

    1. Yotomoe

      Howard is the guy you go to when Danny’s not available.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Accept No Subsitutes!

      2. Leorale

        But availability is his main feature!

  15. AY

    my school has booths like that in the dining hall! but… did anyone at their school write “Kirk x Spock <3" on the napkin dispenser? Because that's a real thing floating around the dining hall tables at IUP.

    1. Demon-Something

      Best school ever. Our education system needs more slash.

      1. Foxhack

        IT’S NOT SLASHY THEY’RE JUST SUPERBROS

        *sobs*

  16. Plasma Mongoose

    Secret lesbian babies? I didn’t kno you can end up in the closet at such a young age.

    1. Yotomoe

      SHE WAS BORN IN THE CLOSET.

      1. Squall

        The closet was born in her. A secret closet. A secret closet of secrets. This secret closet of secrets contains within it, another secret closet of secrets, and another secret closet of secrets inside that one, and it continues ad infinitum. And each of these closets contain a baby, and each of these babies contain a closet, and the closets in the babies have babies too, and the babies in the closets have more closets as well. And it becomes an infinite number of babies in an infinite number of closets, all wrapped into one closeted baby born in a closet.

        1. Jackson

          That’s so Secret Lesbian Babies, it’s Secret Lesbian Babies McIntyre.

  17. Gottawonder

    Wonder Wig just put the baby from Family Guy doing the baby stroll down the street singing about being a prom nite discard….

  18. Geminia999

    Also Howard, she has a darker skin tone than you.

    1. Tom Speelman

      It’s because Howard doesn’t go outside.

      1. Yotomoe

        Howard didn’t even know what outside was until today.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Howqard knew about ‘Real Life’ but he didn’t believe his computer had the processing power to play it.

        2. GoldStarz

          I heard the graphics were terrible anyway. Then again, it WAS from a YouTube comment.

        3. Shade

          I’ve found that the graphics tend to be very good. It’s the energy requirements that’ll get you.

        4. Josh

          I’ve heard they don’t even have a respawn function! How rubbish is that?! :O

        5. Tom Speelman

          And the AI? Don’t get me started.

        6. Crumplepunch

          Outside. That’s the thing with the legs, right?

  19. Justnobody

    So Doctor_Who plays bass, Kafloobop is manager, and Wonder Wig writes the songs. Can I be the tour bus driver for Secret Lesbian Baby?

    1. Yotomoe

      Only if I can make the posters.

      1. Squall

        And I will be security/coroner/mortician/funeral home operator.

  20. Plasma Mongoose

    When an egg penetrates another egg, you get an omelette.

    1. Yotomoe

      Dare I ask where the cheese comes from?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Sometimes you are better off not knowing.

      2. Jereko

        You churn the milk, duh.

        1. xKiv

          Adn the milkshake brings it to the yard.

    2. Doctor_Who

      You can’t make an omelet without breaking a few Secret Lesbian Babies!

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Shake and Bake.

      2. Josh

        Don’t count your Secret Lesbian Babies before they hatch.

        1. Josh

          People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw Secret Lesbian Babies.

        2. Josh

          The grass is always greener on the other side of the Secret Lesbian Babies.

  21. Yotomoe

    Howard…do-do I need to teach you how babies are made…again? THIS IS LIKE THE 5TH TIME.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I had a rather pervy thought cross my mind when you posted that.

    2. Aizat

      He needs a hands-on experience kind of thing. You can’t teach him with just pictures.

      1. Yotomoe

        Then he’ll never learn…

        1. Aizat

          Or we could just let him watch porn……..

        2. The Candyman

          I have a feeling the dude watches way too much porn already.

        3. John

          He can’t even get Game of Thrones. Where is he going to get proper porn?

  22. vsophi

    I wish Howard would go away.

    1. The Candyman

      We all do, vsophi, we all do.

  23. -_-

    ★⇔★ ■-■ (ˇ¿ˇ) ♂•♂ ♀_♀ ●0● I couldnt decide what face to make at howards stupidity.

    1. Kamino Neko

      ♀+♀, obviously.

    2. GoldStarz

      You can never have enough faces, that way when face stealers come for you, you’ll always have a spare. UoU

  24. EvergreenFir

    I don’t know… detox and pregnancy have many similarities.

    On a side note, sperm don’t “penetrate” eggs. Just more gendered narratives that have seeped into our understanding of biology.

    1. EvergreenFir

      Before someone asks, here’s what I’m talking about: http://www.math.jussieu.fr/~daubin/cours/Textes/Martin_EggSperm.pdf

      More about Martin on Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emily_Martin_%28anthropologist%29

  25. Aizat

    Secret Lesbian Babies? Dude, what are you on because I want some of it.

    1. Yotomoe

      You couldn’t afford it. IT’S THAT GOOD.

  26. Lurlock

    Actually, science is pretty close to making this a real possibility. They can take the genes from one egg and implant them into another. (The resulting child would be guaranteed to be female.) Mind you, there’s no way this would happen under normal circumstances, but it’s possible in a lab setting. Careful guys – males are about to become obsolete…

    1. -_-

      Well that sucks wait why should i care more girls for me.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      This is why we need research to sexdroids.

    3. Aizat

      And somewhere…that guy who came out with the theory that women caused homosexuality is laughing right now…and building a genetic bomb of some sort.

    4. Geminia999

      But why would science do that when it can make superior robots instead?

      1. Aizat

        Yeah, why do that when they could do something important, like terraforming planets or something?

    5. Yotomoe

      We won’t be obsolete as long as Pickle jars exist!

      1. Somebody

        Plenty of women can open jars…that’s sexist and unfunny.

      2. Logician

        I bought my love a strap wrench. It opens any jar, rendering all men obsolete. Of course, it gets called the strapping wench.

    6. Yotomoe

      Also, unless ruth decided to have a baby, i’m sure she couldn’t get accidentally lesbian pregnant.

    7. Ridureyu

      Don’t get me wrong here, but wouldn’t it be a GOOD thing to eliminate all the aggression, oppression, bigotry, sexism, rape, and war in the world?

      1. Aizat

        What and women aren’t capable of doing those things that you mentioned?

        1. Yotomoe

          That’s a pet peeve of mine. Just because someone gets the tail end of a horrible circumstance, does not naturally attribute them to a disposition towards such behavior. And it doesn’t cause people outside of that group to have behaviors that are different. I’m black, but I shan’t act like we are all pure. We killed each other and probably enslaved people long before we were taken to America. The only reason we didn’t go across the ocean to do it was because we didn’t figure it out yet. In a world full of women, you would be surprised how much hatred, intolerance, war, and bigotry will persist. Noone is predisposed to purity. Noone is innocent. And our disposition is not genetic.

        2. Aizat

          I’m sorry if I pissed you off, Yotomoe.

        3. Yotomoe

          I was talking to Ridureyu, silly.
          You’re good.

        4. Li

          You are giving Africa waaaaaaaaay too little credit there. 🙁

        5. Yotomoe

          I don’t really think populations of humans over the course of the last 500 years don’t really deserve to get a lot of credit. We were assholes

        6. Josh

          To be honest… we still are.

        7. Somebody

          That’s really a false equivalence. Even if anyone is capable, some have done worse than others.

        8. khambatta

          Not really. The reason so few attrocities are attributed to women is because women have been kept from power.
          The UK has had one female PM, and from the sinking of the General Belgrano, to the Poll Tax warrant sales, she was guilty of most of the things Ridureyu lists.

        9. Somebody

          Isn’t that just anecdotal evidence?

        10. khambatta

          That’s why I used examples that are recorded history, rather than get into some who-ordered-what discord between shocking state collusion and overarching state conspiracy.

          Statisitics purporting to show ‘X percent’ of female leaders were corrupt, compared to ‘Y percent’ of male, would be no better. It’s possible to argue that pressure is put on women to show that they can be “as tough as a man”, or on men to show that they can win “the female vote”.
          Besides, stats are awfully dry: The number of Cabinet and Ministerial resignations as a result of the Westminster parliamentary expenses scandal was split 50/50, whilst the number of backbenchers involved was roughly proportionate to the male/female ratio within their respective parties. Etcetera, etcetera.
          Anecdotes are more “fun”: Miami Godmother Griselda Blanco is credited with popularising the ‘drive-by’ shooting in the ’70s and early ’80s drug wars, pioneering the ‘motorcycle assassin’ method. Yackity smackity.
          [The inverted commas around the word fun should show the tone I’m trying to convey there… I do of course mean simply “easy to remember”.]

        11. Li

          Aizat, I think that Ridureyu’s response was exactly the level of intelligent discourse Lurlock’s original joke merited.

          “Dur hurr hurr look out men, at the SLIGHTEST PROVOCATION women will make you extinct!” “Dur hurr hurr why shouldn’t we, they DO suck and all.”

        12. Yotomoe

          I think it’s too…specific to be how you describe it. It’d be one thing if you were using a really broad example but Ridureyu’s response was pretty direct about all the world issues that men are attributed to. <:T That'd be like saying "Women wouldn't be necessary which is good to get rid of all the hormones, annoyance, theft,crying, moaning, complaining, lying, and random petty violence." Those thing's would still be around without women, obviously, and even if I'm joking it seems pretty dickish of me to say.

        13. Li

          I didn’t say she deliberately responded to it with sarcasm. I don’t know what her intent was. (Or if “she” is even really a she.) I said that the original comment was stupid and hysterical, and that Ridureyu’s response to it was pretty equally stupid.

        14. Yotomoe

          Ah, mmkay.

    8. David

      Males will not become obsolete as long as you need a sick geek to actually manipulate the egg. Yes, it’s sexist to assume that it’s predominantly men who can be interested in making nature rather than the other sex jump through hoops, but…

      1. John

        While you’re over there being sexist… ever heard of “bio bongoes”?

        1. Josh

          No… no I haven’t. 😉

        2. John

          Let’s just say that women going into bio science is common enough to have its very own stereotype.

    9. vsophi

      Yep, it’s not like women actually enjoy having them around or anything. Clearly their only purpose is to deliver sperm on demand.

      1. The Lurker

        My honey keeps me around for to open Pickel jars….

        1. The Lurker

          I hate autocomplete…

    10. Li

      I’m pretty sure that by the time technology enables two women to have a baby of either gender, it will also have enabled two men to have a baby either in a false lab womb or otherwise.

      On the other hand, if you’re worried that women would jump at the chance to get rid of men, why not start taking steps today to make sure that you’re a worthwhile human being no one would want to get rid of? :|a

    11. Animal

      “Careful guys – males are about to become obsolete…”

      Hell no. Who will reach the stuff on the top shelves?

      1. Li

        Super tall ladies (of which there are a not insignificant number) and also step ladders, for we are a species of tool-users.

        1. Somebody

          That isn’t true, there are plenty of tall women.

        2. Li

          I think you misread me or meant to put your comment somewhere else. Admittedly my sentence contained a double negative, though: tall women, of which there are a not insignificant number, e.g. a significant number.

      2. Yotomoe

        Obviousely everyone would carry each other Rugrats style.

      3. xKiv

        People who build stuff with fewer shelves.

    12. Somebody

      What nonsense. The very idea is laughable and an one researching it brings shame to the scientific community.

  27. Darwin

    I think I am alone when I say “Howard. Enjoy your tremendous amount of the dumb. Please, do not go away.”

    1. Josh

      Thank you!

  28. Frogboy

    The secret lesbian baby’s name is Ruthifer, Princess of Darkness.

    1. Aizat

      Don’t you mean Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All?

      1. GoldStarz

        Ruthifer is the feminine form of Stormageddon. God, I thought everyone knew that.

        1. Aizat

          I thought Stormageddon can applied to everyone regardless of gender.

        2. Frogboy

          Sharknada, Queen of Tempesmobranchs.

        3. GoldStarz

          Sharknada doesn’t even SOUND like a real name. If you just want to randomly string words together fine but we are having a serious conversation on the gender alignment of names.

        4. ninja_jesus

          Excuse me? My little girl’s name is Sharknada and I am horribly offended by your discrimination. This is supposed to be an equal-opportunity doomsday conference and I will not stand for this!

        5. GoldStarz

          Huh, must be foreign then. My apologies.

        6. GoldStarz

          No that’s Thunderpocalypse, Stormageddon is the masculine form of the name and Ruthifer is the feminine.

        7. Yotomoe

          Why are we even discussing this. It’s name will be facepuncheces,
          the goddess of facepunching.

        8. Aizat

          Not Femurtaker, taker of femurs?

        9. Yotomoe

          Let’s just hope for twins.

        10. GoldStarz

          I was thinking Lady Tookulferyu, Mistress of being Too Cool For You would be more suitable, but obviously its up for Willis to decide.

    2. xKiv

      Is that the billain of the story?

  29. Ridureyu

    Things like this are why I didn’t want to ever tell my sister that I was moving to San Francisco.

    Even though I’m heterosexual.

    Eh, it’s a lost cause. My aunt already assumed enough.

    1. Aizat

      It’s just a city, like how pink is just a color.

      1. Yotomoe

        and Rainbows are just spectrums of light shined through a prism.

      2. Ridureyu

        Well, when I told my aunt where I was moving, she suddenly got that “inspirational” look on her face and said:

        “Good. Good for you. I’m… I’m proud. I will support you no matter what anybody else says.”

        And then refused to listen to anything I said XD

        1. David

          Hey, there was a time where my mom would have been glad to find pretty much anything animate in my bedroom apart from myself and a computer (and that was waaaaay before the world wide web, so I obviously did much more perverse things than watching porn). Well, she’d probably have had reservations about sheep…

  30. Xartarin

    the alt text made me hungry for eggs

    1. Aizat

      I had eggs for breakfast.

      1. ocbrad1

        I just had eggs for breakfast, too! They were delish, and as far as I could tell (a little early for science), did not consist of lesbian chicken embryos. So hopefully no secret lesbian babies were harmed by my choice of breakfast.

  31. NF

    Howard, please shut up. Just, shut up.

  32. AgentKeen

    Man, I didn’t like Denny’s to begin with. The alt text made sure I probably won’t.

    1. Yotomoe

      Dennies is soylent green. But unborn lesbian baby soylent green.

  33. Frogboy

    That secret lesbian baby will be raised solely on cookies and booze. It will be incapable of relating to others except through punching. It will be a hockey cheerleader. It will be half-Canadian, half-American, all ferocity. It will take up the mantle of Amazi-Girl when Dina inevitably falls in the line of duty. It will be a ninja. It will be a pirate. It will be awesome.

    1. Stephen

      Are hockey cheerleaders a thing? Doesn’t that get cold?

    2. brionl

      Rah Rah Ree!
      Stick ’em in the Knee!
      Rah Rah Rass!
      Stick ’em in the other Knee!

  34. Hoboturtle

    I was going to question Howards lack of knowledge of the female reproduction system but than I realize that this is exactly the type of thing I would say. I…I don’t know how to feel about that.

    1. Kernanator

      No Hoboturtle. You are the Howard.

      1. The Candyman

        And then Hoboturtle was a Trekkie.

        1. NightmareWarden

          And then the Trekkie became a slash fic writer.

  35. Raibean

    Billie’s boobs could impregnate anybody

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Boobs don’t work that way.

      1. Kaoy

        LET US DREAM!!!

      2. Raibean

        You mean mine aren’t supposed to do that????

  36. acher4

    That was hilarious! 😀

  37. Somebody

    The stupid, it hurts. Is this dumb in other continuities.

    1. Somebody

      he*

      I must be tired.

      1. GoldStarz

        You mean it and just click the Roomies button and go into the Howard tag (accessible by the characters list). You will find it… Enlightening.

    2. John

      So far the DoA version seems to be dumber but less terrible.

      You can have quite a lot of terrible and still be less terrible than Roomies! Howard, though.

      1. Kernanator

        To be fair, pretty much everyone is terrible in Roomies!

  38. ArkhamTexan

    Double-egg grand slam? Are we having breakfast now? I don’t think I want to eat breakfast with you if this is your idea of what it is.

  39. theKOT

    Oh man, secret lesbian babies, that takes me back. High school was CRAZY

  40. Yotomoe

    They’re called GAYBIES. Get it right, Howard.

    1. Aizat

      I thought they were called LESBIES?

      1. Nono

        I thought it would be LESBABIES. Y’know, like ‘Let’s Babies.’

        1. Andrusi

          Lesbabies is what I’ve always called them.

    2. Squall

      Gaybies sound like a disease you get when gay people bite you.

      1. Heavensrun

        Wait, it isn’t? What’ve I been protesting at Chick-fil-a for then?

      2. TheKelliestKelly

        It is. It’s how you become gay. The conservatives are right to worry about those durn homosexuals turning their children into gays. I mean, I know from personal experience that a gay person biting you will turn you gay. Sexy personal experience.

        1. The Candyman

          Is that like how you turn into a raging conservative in the full moon after being bitten by Rush Limbaugh?

  41. Bunivasal

    Do secret lesbian babies move into the— nope. Just for thinking that I have to go staple my dick to something.

  42. Thor

    Uh, oh. The strip preview in the Dumblr shows that Howard is still around infecting the strip through the beginning of October. [vomits]

    1. John

      On the bright side, Billie’s hanging out with Ruth in public.

  43. MechaMaidFan7

    Howard simply wants Ruth to say “I’m totally in lesbians with you” to Billie.

  44. Ruck Bogers

    Howard’s grasp of biology is amazing.

  45. Furie

    He’s as good with biology as wrestling announcers are with geography.

  46. IndigoAK

    I just binge-read this comic from the beginning in like 8 hours and now I’m all caught up and now I’m sad because I have to wait for daily updates like everyone else has for three years.

    1. GoldStarz

      Some of us have been doing it longer than that. At least DoA has daily updates.

      1. Squall

        Who in their right mind complains about daily updates?!

  47. Michel

    I didn’t see another way to contact the author so this will have to do. I just wanted to say thank you for doing this comic. Socializing has never been my strong suit and so I tend to go with the moto ‘Introvert-Through-Indifference’. I can only do well when I know what to do before-hand. I’m an agnostic, pansexual, altruistic humanist and aside from stories, I focus most of my attention on science, engineering, math and philosophy.

    There are A LOT of people I don’t know how to deal with because of difference in beliefs. It’s inevitable that I find people who don’t know as much as me about the things that I consider important, that I think should be important to others. I don’t get pushy, though. I just get bored with people and shut down. Ever since I’ve been self-aware enough to realize that I’ve been trying find new ways to bridge the gap. Your story has given me new of ideas and perspectives to help me with this and I’m very grateful for it.

    Besides the benefits of mutual civility, I still have a lot of difficulty rationalizing leaving the religious and their beliefs alone. But I have faith in the “Live and Let Live” ideal, so I do. Your story hasn’t really given me any new revelations in this regard, but still, reading it has been….comforting. Essentially all of my relatives are religious, some deeply religious, and I haven’t come out to them about my agnotism or pansexuality because I’ve always been the favored cousin that everyone likes. I’m dealing with a lot of mental illness right now so it’s an eventuality I dread. My relatives aren’t bad people, but I have no idea how they’ll react. I’d like to think more people are like Joyce, and their imperative to goodness is stronger than their loyalty to words written down by other humans.

    1. Shade

      You are good person. Let us be friends.

      1. Michel

        Thank you :3
        If you truly do with that, my e-mail is micheldonttell@hotmail.com

  48. Osaru Sensei

    … is it just me or has Howard been making these (probably unintentional on his part, but still) homophobic remarks since he first appeared?

    Me, as a bisexual female with the most awesomest girlfriend ever, has felt a rising urge to cave his face in with a rubber mallet for some time now.

    1. John

      Still better than Roomies! Howard, who started out with sexual assault.

  49. Delirio

    Yes, he sounds a wee bit too obsessed with lesbians, but then again he IS a young nerd.

    She could introduce Howard to some of the out lesbians there must be in the dorm. But then he’d just blurt out to them that Ruth and Billie are “being lesbian with each other” so that would not work.

    How about: “Howard, NOBODY sits with me. And we do not owe you an explanation.”

    Or maybe: “Howard, firstly, have you any idea what lesbianism is that did not come from fanfic porn? And secondly, I’m your SISTER, why are you so hung up on my being one?”

    1. ninja_jesus

      My response to the last one would be: “No, and it’s because you’re my only family and I want to know that you’re okay, duh-doi.”

      1. ninja_jesus

        **disclaimer** I actually do know about lesbianism, so don’t chew me out plz k thnx.

        1. Heavensrun

          Okay, Ruth: That is not the “appearance” you’re keeping up or why you’re keeping it. The appearance you’re keeping up is that you hate each other, and you’re probably keeping it up because both your hatred and reconciliation revolves around your mutual alcoholism. Also, if you think she doesn’t like you back, you need new glasses, because she is trying SO HARD to sit with you without sitting with you that she looks like she’s about to fall off her table.

          Billie: You suck at keeping up appearances. Just go hang on her arm and get it over with, because you’re not fooling ANYBODY.

          Except maybe Ruth.

        2. Heavensrun

          Whoop, that was supposed to be an ordinary comment, not a reply to NJ.

    2. Raen

      I don’t know, I get the impression it’s because she’s his sister he’s going on like this, not being “obsessed with lesbians.”

  50. brumagem

    LOOOL Denny’s jokes.

  51. Super Duper

    SECRET LESBIAN BABIES! It’s a conspiracy I tell you!

  52. Notebooked

    I really like Howard and Ruth’s conversations! It’s giving me flashbacks to violent-yet-amiable old Roomies Ruth.

  53. kelticat

    Actually voted for Sierra instead of Dina, but yeah.

    1. Jackson

      I voted for Amber. Apparently I’m the only one.

      1. The Candyman

        I originally was going to vote for Billie, but then peer pressure got to me.

    2. John

      Same here. Dina’s parents are exactly what I expected them to be. (And one Dina is adorkable. Three Dinae is kind of creepy.) I’m not sure what Sierra’s parents are like, but I bet they’re interesting. (Though the way family weekend’s going here, Sierra’s whole barefoot hippie thing is probably just teenage rebellion against her parents’ secret-lesbian-baby-leather shoe industry.)

      1. Notebooked

        Heh!
        I actually wonder about that, and finding an answer to that question would be reason enough to see them. Did they live in a really lush, vegetative place, where having no shoes and running around was super sweet? Did they not want to support any immoral shoe-making industry (leather is cruel, a lot of sneaker production uses sweatshops)? What’s the story there?

  54. Chad from Canada

    That hovertext Willis. It made my day.

  55. The Candyman

    Actually, “I liked her, but she didn’t like me back” doesn’t sound like a sentence only used in high school.

    1. John

      For the real high school feel, it needs to go more like, “I’m, like, not sure I like her, but I, like, like her like her. And, like, I think she like, likes me, but like I’m not sure if she likes me like likes me likes me. And I like kissed her and she was like all into it, but then she was all like NO. So like I dunno, you know?”

  56. Portmaneau

    She’s in lesbians with her

  57. Maycroft

    Somebody had The Talk with this kid right?

  58. Tenza

    I think the term is, “In lesbians with each other.”

  59. nothri

    The sad part is I can’t tell if Howard is asking that sarcastically or if he honestly thinks this is a thing that can happen.

  60. ZORK

    ~Shortpacked! SPOILER!~

    The funny thing is, in another universe, two lesbians actually manage to get pregnant.

  61. Rheios

    I think there’s actually technology for that now. (I recall reading something in reference to it. Although the writer was rather alarmist in an “This is the end of men” kindof way.) Although I imagine its experimental and expensive.

  62. Aisling

    Did Howad just become Joyce in innocent stupidty? lol

  63. DarkVeghetta

    As soon as he sed “secret lesbian baby”, I HAD to use Ctrl+F and see how many times it was quoted in the comments. Without mine: 12, with mine: 13. It’s funny how I KNEW that line would get quoted several times. This may be a sign that I’ve spent too much of my life reading comments on DoA. Nah, probably not. FAAACE!

  64. man jean

    the alt text made me laugh so hard and still does

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