Apples to Apples
Posted on June 2, 2015 by David M Willis

410 thoughts on “Apples to Apples”

  1. Jen Aside

    Is it time???

    1. thebombzen

      Ethan and Sal, something’s going down. At least when Amber shows up we know something will.

      1. Viktoria

        I think Ethan recognized her in the final panel, look at his expression. Stuff could go down very quickly.

        1. Leorale

          I don’t think he recognized her. Amber needs to walk in and see him sitting next to Sal and flip out, to his great confusion.
          Also, I’m only 60% sure your wording (‘going down’) was intentional.

        2. das-g

          *yells ‘Timber!’, just in case*

        3. Nice

          Timber? Naa
          Scream “fire in the hole!”

        4. Screwball

          I don’t Ethan Panel 5 is recognizing her, I’d say he’s just as surprised as everyone else at how she lost her virginity through apples To Apples somehow…

          …Strip Apples To Apples, Sal’s a heavy better with bad/good luck that day?

        5. Jen Aside

          (she always plays “Chains” and “Whips”)

  2. Mr. Random

    Did Joyce just lose hers?

    1. DarkoNeko

      She lost her eyebrows virginity long ago.

      1. Rich

        Um. That’s actually a thing in some circles, you know. And no, Joyce very definitely has not had that done to her or she wouldn’t have had to google images when she was sketching dingdongs a while back.

        1. Joseph

          Eyebrows virginity? What?… How does that work? I feel like I’ve missed out on something.

        2. Zan Thrax

          We’ll explain it to you when you’re older.

        3. Yet_One_More_Idiot

          I think Sal just broke Joyce’s brain with that comment… xD

        4. Freemage

          That face….

        5. OwenSohmer

          I think we’ll be fine without an explanation but thanks for the offer

        6. JaneDoe

          So have I, and honestly? I’m very okay with that.

        7. Rich

          Am I the only one here that has talkative friends who worked sex industry jobs? It’s a reference to being on the receiving end of a messy facial that results in getting semen in your eyebrows.

        8. Joseph

          OH OK. Now it makes sense. I thought maybe the eyebrows were the active part? Which was confusing.

          And no, you’re not! I used to spend weekends teaching bratty rich kids in posh Kensington houses, then travelling out the very end of the tube line to stay with a house of trans sex workers. Bit of cultural whiplash there…

        9. Disloyal Subject

          To be fair, there’s some amusing animated material where the eyebrows ARE the active part.

        10. Marisa Mockery

          You should write a sitcom based on that. It’d sell.

        11. Rich

          Mine are a straight married couple that did porn flicks in the late 70s, a good couple of decades before I met them. Listening to their work stories from back in the day has been enlightening, albeit often unpleasant. I’ve made a point of avoiding their films (some things I just do not need to see) although they’ve shown off some great G-rated photos of him with the most stereotypical porn mustache ever.

        12. Rycan

          Did you ever give in to the desire to tell those kids about life at home? It would be fun to watch them wrap their brains around that.

        13. Ragingagnostic

          Loss of eyebrow virginity? I thought the proper technical term was “bukkake”.

    2. Rich

      No, but I suspect she’s re-evaluating the game for sin potential.

      1. Doctor_Who

        Now how could someone possibly associate apples with sin?

        1. Rich

          Yes, that would just be crazy.

        2. Jen Aside

          Apples to Apples, Dust to Dust

        3. schwa schtick uh

          https://twitter.com/LokiAthena/status/605590654920425472?s=03

  3. DarkoNeko

    Joyce may blush a whole lot tonight.

  4. sps48

    That FAAACE!

    1. thebombzen

      FAAAAAAAAAACE

      1. TheZachariah

        AAAAaaaaah the face!!!

        1. Undrave

          FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

        2. Karen Lynn

          STOP THE FACES

        3. zoomer296

          :o

        4. Yet_One_More_Idiot

          Everybody needs to have about 1 face less, for Dina’s sake!

    2. biggo

      NOT IN THE FAAAACE

  5. otusasio451

    Sal lost her virginity during a game of…Apples to Apples?

    Huh. Having played that game many times, I honestly didn’t see that coming.

    1. Shrugs

      Sal saw it coming, though. *rimshot*

      1. schwa schtick uh

        Or felt it at least. Sticky situation

    2. Rich

      If you can play strip poker, I suppose you can play strip ATA, right?

      1. TParadox

        As I understand it, the judge picks the best card for +1 point and worst card for -1 clothing (or +1 drink for Drunk ATA).

      2. -Sentinel-

        Nudity =/= sex.

        1. begbert2

          But it’s been known to help.

        2. -Sentinel-

          Not in my case. Whenever I meet a pretty girl and strip down in front of her in hopes that sex will ensue, she sprays me with mace and runs away. Am I doing something wrong?

        3. Narf

          Yes.

        4. Rycan

          If you want your face to be a fluorescent orange, then no. Otherwise, yes.

        5. Screwball

          I get that same problem. Daniel the Human just laughs at me as the cops chase me, doesn’t help me at all…

        6. Captain Batson

          No, Great Faz chooses to believe that they are simply not yet able to comprehend the beauty that is Faz

    3. 3-I

      Look, you kids don’t know how good you got it. Back in the day, we had to make APPLES TO APPLES say horrible things. We didn’t have your fancy Cards Against Humanity version. It took IMAGINATION to make it dirty and awful. AND WE DID IT, BY GUM.

      1. 6Qubed

        And we were THANKFUL

        1. A Scientist

          Well back in *my* day we had to….

          …Wait, that was my day. Never mind. Carry on.

        2. AustKyzor

          Back in my day, we didn’t have those fancy Apples to Apples either. We just yelled things at each other until somebody removed their clothes in anger and frustration.

        3. Rich

          Huh. I had no idea my dad read Dumbing of Age.

      2. ScoutInTheNight

        In my opinion that’s why Apples to Apples is the better game. It takes creativity and a bent mind to be fun. Cards Against Humanity is just lazy.

        1. Betty Anne

          Unless you’re DOIN IT RONG, and then CAH gets to be so wrong everyone at the table is like, “…well, shit. .____.”

    4. timemonkey

      Makes more sense to get turned on during Apples to Apples than anything to do with Jason.

      1. Rycan

        BAM

    5. leadsynth

      Talk about bringing apples for the teacher.

      (You know, because Sal banged a teacher?)

  6. Khaner

    Apples to Apples gets you all the gals.

    1. Rich

      Why you gotta leave Ethan out of the fun?

      1. Em

        Oh my god can you imagine? He’d be too shy to do anything! At least at this point in the comic.

      2. Em

        But I think pretty much everything gets Ethan all the guys and gals. (though he doesn’t want the chicks)

        1. Rich

          He does seem to suffer from an embarrassment of riches in that regard.

  7. Yotomoe

    That’s very impressive. That’s like losing your virginity in a rousing round of GO FISH. Or Scrabble.

    1. Doctor_Who

      “Do you have any…reasontonotsleepwithme?”

      “Uh, go fish?”

      “HA!”

      1. DarkoNeko

        You’d have more luck with “Go Leafs” 🙂

        1. AustKyzor

          Well, the Leafs DO suck, but I’m pretty sure that’s not what anyone meant…

    2. cesium133

      The only way Scrabble can lead to virginity loss is if it’s hate sex. Which is probably also how Apples to Apples led to Sal losing her virginity.

      1. Nono

        What, you’ve never been turned on by a 120-point Triple Word combo?

        1. Lord Stoneheart

          I can see the 120 point triple word combo leading to hate sex.

        2. modernpython

          Promontory is not a real word!
          Yes it is!

          Hate snogging commences.

        3. Rich

          It’s your own fault for leaving pro open. Or maybe tory.

      2. Doctor_Who

        I wonder how much hate sex Monopoly has caused over the years.

        1. Leorale

          “I’m completely bored with this incredibly tedious game. Let’s go have sex instead.”

        2. Rich

          There’s been at least one “adult” version of Monopoly using famous strip clubs as the properties. I’d expect that just owning a copy of the damn thing would increase your odds of staying a virgin for life.

        3. Historyman68

          “Capitalism is dull and brutal. Let’s fuck.”

        4. Rich

          Excerpted from “Proletariat Pickup Lines” by Karl Marx?

      3. Iron Glenn

        Ever heard of strip scrabble?

        1. fogel

          Yes

      4. timemonkey

        Someone’s never watched Thea from Girls With Slingshots play Scrabble.

        1. Rycan

          This. Although I think the usual end result was that everyone got too drunk and passed out.

      5. AustKyzor

        That’s how it happened with me – I had zinc on a double-word, and xenon on a triple

        Hate sex is actually worth the effort, even when you’re ace like me.

    3. A Scientist

      I think we all have a story like that, don’t we?

      Mine, naturally, was Candyland.

      (Not really, but side note, I’m legitimately terrible at Candyland, and I still can’t figure out how that’s possible.)

      1. Annie

        My husband and I used to play strip Trivial Pursuit. I usually won that game, so I started losing it on purpose fairly often.

        Also, it was super fun (/sarcasm) when my mother-in-law went snooping in our room and found in the bottom drawer of the nightstand condoms, lube (back then I worked a lot of health fairs for my job, so I ended up with A LOT of free condoms and flavored lubes. I had far more than any 1 couple could use.), some porn DVDs, a small vibrator, handcuffs, maybe a nudie mag and… Trivial Pursuit.

        At least it got her to quit snooping for a while.

        1. timemonkey

          If I hada mother in law who snooped I’d purposely leave super dirty things around just to shock her. Like SUPER dirty shit, shit that wouldn’t even make sense.

        2. Boom

          XXX NIGHTSTANDS

        3. Annie

          One time when I knew she was coming over, I may have tied ropes to my head and foot board and left a butt plug on the pillow.

          Thankfully, before we were married my husband took away her key to our house and she’s now forbidden from going upstairs in our home. Though, after the ropes and butt plug, I’m not sure she’d want to anymore. I can only imagine what she told the priest when she went to confession that week. >:)

        4. timemonkey

          Should have put two buttplugs.

        5. Annie

          I was thinking that if she starts snooping again, I should leave out one of those giant double ended dildos. I’d have to buy one first, of course, but it’d be worth it.

        6. Marisa Mockery

          This is the best thread

        7. Screwball

          Agreed! *taking notes*

        8. DarkoNeko

          That’s hilarous XD

        9. Rycan

          Or better yet, completely innocuous shit alongside the super dirty shit. Trying to figure out how a Rubik’s Cube factored into your sex life would bother her for days.

        10. Annie

          I like this idea very, very much.

        11. A Scientist

          What an amazing drawer. That had to have been the most confusing moment of her snooping career.

      2. Rich

        ??? The game doesn’t allow you to make any decisions whatsoever, except the obvious one of “let’s play something else.” Zero skill involved unless someone’s cheating. Unless you have color blindness issues, it’s impossible to be good or bad at it.

        1. A Scientist

          I’ve played probably 50 times and only avoided last place once. I got second to last that time.

          I know, the numbers don’t work out. I know there’s no skill involved, no decision-making, but my results are indisputably terrible.

        2. Rich

          Bizarre. Is it only Candyland? Have you experimented with dropping buttered toast?

        3. Rycan

          You sure everyone else wasn’t cheating?

  8. Taigan

    How many are googling that game now? *raises hand*

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Well, I was about to look for an online emulator like the one for Cards Against Humanity.

    2. Rycan

      Well, I googled it a few days ago, does that count?

    3. Screwball

      Just did after reading Taigan’s comment, now I know how it’s played I can see how it could happen. Site has hairy & smarmy? Everyone says something adult-orientated. “The word is hairy” “Yeah, like my cooter” “Ew, you don’t shave? I do” “I trim…”

      …Or do I just have a dirty processor like Daniel the Human says?

  9. grantimusmax

    Billie’s status: SEETHING WITH RAGE

    1. Dean

      Billie’s jealous, because she lost hers while playing the Battlestar Galactica boardgame.

      1. Rich

        Worse yet, she lost it to the Cylon Sympathizer.

    2. nothri

      Second verse same as the first.

  10. Kernanator

    I am trying to think of Apples to Apples-related innuendo, but the only ones I’ve got are really forced.

    1. DarkoNeko

      There’s a lot of jam to have.

      1. RHagen

        Sauce-y!

        1. Deanatay

          Winning card for ‘Saucy’ – Emeril Lagasse.

    2. nothri

      Show me your apple and I’ll show you mine.

      1. grantimusmax

        Certainly something wound up in cider.

        1. nothri

          Let’s make some applesauce, honey.

        2. grantimusmax

          As long as it shakes me to the core.

        3. saltchocolate

          That’s a pretty seedy comment.

    3. JessWitt

      Care for strudel?

  11. Viktoria

    Didn’t Sal go to an all-girls Catholic school?

    …

    Well, that opens up the love triangles for even more drama.

    1. AtomsOrSystems

      Look, I went to an all-boys Catholic school. There were still girls around.
      …sometimes.
      ……I mean, not often, but–

      Look, I like to live in an idealized version of the past, ok?

      1. madock345

        After they bend over, who can tell the difference?

        1. Hielario

          Oh, trust me, there’s a lot of difference.

        2. timemonkey

          Yeah, girl butt has nothing on guy butt.

        3. schwa schtick uh

          ;3

        4. Hielario

          I meant the extra orifice, but i guess that’s true too.

    2. Captain Batson

      I don’t recall anyone saying it was all-girls. Not all Catholic schools are single-sex.

      1. Viktoria

        It’s too late to archive-dive for me, but at the least it was one her parents sent her to to lock her up after she committed a few felonies. Single-sex seems likely from that.

      2. Em

        Did some peeking, and nobody has said it’s all girls.

        1. Shade

          Willis confirmed that her boarding school was all girls on his tumblr account after he was asked. He also explained how she developed the habit of using windows as doors.

        2. Viktoria

          http://dumbingofage.tumblr.com/post/120504739202/was-sals-boarding-school-all-girls-i-guess-what
          The Tumblr answer. Which interestingly looks like he’s saying it was with a guy despite not actually saying that at all.

        3. Historyman68

          Yes excellent job of explaining without giving anything away, Willis.

      3. DarkoNeko

        If anything, they’d live in separated buildings

        1. Rich

          Getting past the wardens is half the fun.

    3. Blue

      Nice to see I’m not the only one whose brain went that way. xD

    4. Kennerly

      I didn’t realize co-ed Christian boarding schools was a thing.

      1. Joseph

        There are co-ed Quaker boarding schools – I went to one. But that’s Quakers, who are often way out on the liberal fringe.

    5. DarkoNeko

      words of god on this :

      “Her boarding school was girls only, but boys being outside the school was a huge part of her impetus to learn how to escape out a several-story window.”

  12. DarkoNeko

    Hey I just noticed, Dotty actually sat down to play.

    1. No Name

      She’s probably still typing up research papers, though.

      1. Rich

        And fending off Drunk Walky.

  13. otusasio451

    That would be an interesting and very odd Slipshine.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Think Mattel would be interested in cross promotion?

    2. TParadox

      Sal Performs A Helen Keller?

      1. Kennerly

        Um, no Helen, not exactly water…but don’t stop.

    3. -Sentinel-

      And I juuuust cancelled my subscription…

    4. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      Yeah, I was just about to say: I am curious and want to know the story behind this. A Slipshine would take care of that… although Sal’s age when she lost said virginity might make it impossible to post there.
      Still, I have a curious mind and wish to know the sequence of events that led from point Apples to point Virginity.

      1. Em

        No slipshines of underaged people. No no no BAD. That is child pornography, and I doubt Willis is okay with that. (yes–any porn of underage people is child pornography. http://criminal-law.freeadvice.com/criminal-law/criminal-law/child-pornography-law.htm)

        1. drs

          It’s not that clearcut, actually. The Supreme Court said drawn child porn wasn’t illegal porn, Congress tried to pack it under obscenity laws, the First Amendment might have something to say about that, so it comes down to a lottery of your local prosecutor and judges. Which is a good pragmatic reason for a commercial site to steer clear of it.

      2. Em

        But I’m sure Sal is about to tell the story in the next comic.

  14. Nono

    Sal’s basically the cool gamer chick, isn’t she? Except in this cases the guys who would be fawning over her and asking her to ‘share pics’ are now… Joyce.

  15. JessWitt

    Sal Walkerton: defying everything that’s uncool to Billie. 😀

    1. Captain Batson

      She’s also totally Amazi-Girl.

      1. Rich

        Well yeah, that’s why she’s sitting next to her boyfriend Danny. 🙂

        1. Heavensrun

          Wait…

          Billie leaves or at least steps out for a bit, bumps into Amber, Amber asks after Danny, Billie says “he’s in the party sitting with his girlfriend”, Amber is confused, looks in, sees him sitting next to Sal, and totally loses her shit.

        2. Rich

          Possible. The tutoring thing has Billie confused about that as well. And hey, get a drink or two in Sal and her decision making goes straight to hell. Imagine Drunk Sal deciding that if useless tutor Jason got sexy times, the guy who actually helped her grades deserves better. There’s an even worse train wreck for you.

        3. Talantus

          Probably just one

      2. Nono

        Huh, Billie STILL thinks she’s Amazi-girl, doesn’t she?

    2. Rich

      Note Billie’s severe disapproval at the thought.

      1. JessWitt

        Precisamente, my dear Rich-son.

  16. Sam

    This game is for nerds, nerds like SAL.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Sal is like the Vin Diesel of the nerds.

      1. Auroki

        ^this

      2. Heavensrun

        Pretty sure Vin Diesel is the Vin Diesel of nerds.

      3. Pantheon the Mantheon

        I have never felt as validated as I did on the day I learned Vin Diesel was an avid D&D player and based Riddick off of one of his characters. Just goes to show you, D&D can almost always change your life for the better!

        1. Rich

          Are you trying to say Jack Chick lied to us?

        2. Kelly

          Jack Chick would lie to us.
          Jackie Chan, however, would not.

        3. Someone

          Jack Chick vs Jackie Chan: The fight of the ages…That would last 3 seconds and end with Jack Chick lying broken on the ground.

        4. Rich

          What’s taking up the other 2.5 seconds that Jackie doesn’t need to win that fight?

        5. Someone

          That’s Jackie Chan’s stretching time

        6. Dean

          Yeah, he’s not a young man anymore.

        7. Rich

          Valid, but I think he’s still up to beating Jack, who’s in his nineties these days.

        8. John

          Jackie pulling the tablecloth that he then uses to beat up Jack out from under a banquet.

        9. Abel Undercity

          Chick would have the last laugh, though, when he produces a poorly-drawn and execrably-written comic denouncing the martial arts as Satan’s lure for the unwary.

        10. Disloyal Subject

          …and what would motivate Jackie to smack that sad, strange creature?
          I’m sickened, but curious.

        11. Someone

          Unfortunaltly after being defeated, Jack Chick will start floating of the ground, will sprout tentacles and his hands will morph into claws while he grows fangs. The true battle will then begin.

      4. Kelly

        But Vin Diesel is already the Vin Diesel of nerds.

        He has his D&D character’s name as a tattoo! He taught Dame Judi Dench to play D&D when they did a Riddick film together! He founded Tigon Studios to make better movie tie-in video games!

        1. Disloyal Subject

          But which edition did he teach?

        2. Rich

          Wonderful mental image of Vin starring in an “Edition Wars” movie where he’s the prophesized savior who unites the fans of all the different editions. Even those Pathfinder heretics. 🙂

          The bad guys can be a conspiracy of concerned parents, religious fanatics, and embittered ex-gamers bent on destroying roleplaying forever, led by cyborg Jack Chick.

  17. Stephen Bierce

    So now we know why Faz said “applesauce” before losing consciousness from repeated Mike Warner beatings.

    1. Deanatay

      It was his safe word.

      1. No Name

        Actually, is safe-word is “saltines”

  18. caesaria82

    Brilliant Joyce face.

  19. Rich

    I’m impressed, didn’t think Sarah’s shame-blitz in yesterday’s strip would actually get Sal to the party. Guess Miss Walkerton’s not quite as disinterested in the rest of the dorm as she’s seemed to be.

    1. timemonkey

      That or the text she got turned out to be that Marcie was gonna be hanging with Malaya.

      1. Rich

        Or she heard Apples To Apples through the bathroom door and just couldn’t resist.

        1. Disloyal Subject

          Or just needed something to take her mind off things.

  20. Kris

    Just because Sal likes it doesn’t automatically mean it’s cool…….yes it does.

  21. boomwolf

    Suddenly, this game seems a lot more interesting. Also, Joyce’s face last panel.

  22. caesaria82

    Also I enjoy the symbolism of Sal sitting down in the spot that was being kept free for Amber. What if Amber comes in and sees Sal sitting there? Next to Ethan, of all people, who was there during the robbery trauma. Drama potential high!

    1. LiaHansen

      it only just hit me how tangled up Danny’s romantic interests are

      1. Just Another Commentor

        Holy crap, you’re right. He’s dating Amber, has feelings for Ethan, and is tutoring Sal. Amber is dating Danny, used to date Ethan, was assaulted by Sal. Sal has no clue who anyone but Danny is. This is a strange love/hate quadrangle.

    2. Tess

      WAIT HOW DOES ETHAN NOT RECOGNIZE HER

      1. Kris

        Cause it was probably over five years ago and it wasn’t as traumatic for him.

      2. Heavensrun

        Ethan was somewhat less traumatized by the event than Amber was, probably largely because for Ethan, it didn’t come atop years and years of vicious psychological abuse from Amber’s monster of a male parent. So he may not remember because he didn’t bother dwelling on what she looked like, or he may have recognized her and assumed that if Joyce is cool with her, he should give her a shot.

        That’s boring though, so I’m hoping for screaming realizations later. From both of them.

        1. Rycan

          You also bounce back better from traumatic events when you have a good support network, and maybe Ethan’s parents were actually supportive before he came out of the closet.

      3. tim gueguen

        Because her hair is straight? I’m pretty sure she wasn’t straightening her hair at the time of the attempted robbery. She presumably didn’t talk with her current southern drawl at the time either. And as comic books have taught me even the smallest of changes in looks and behaviour, like wearing a tiny domino mask, can serve as an effective disguise.

        1. Rich

          She’s grown up and filled out quite a bit from those days too. I wouldn’t have recognized the two character designs as being the same person if I didn’t know the story.

        2. Em

          He knows that the girl that robbed the store and held the knife to his neck lives on Amber’s floor. It is a little surprising that Amber recognized her immediately despite the fact that she looks different and Ethan hasn’t. It is possible that he’ll remember her in tomorrow’s strip.

        3. Heavensrun

          Also when Amber recognized her, she was wearing the same outfit as the robbery.

        4. Gigafreak

          Indeed, her hair was curly at the time. Not only that, but she’s carrying herself in a pretty different manner right now: mellow and friendly. (I’m told it’s possible to foil recognition by just changing your posture. Conversely, people have recognized me through a Halloween costume by my lazy slouched walk.)

          Even if Ethan DOES recognize Sal, he is himself mellow enough to accept that those days are behind her. He even told Amazi-girl as much.

        5. Screwball

          On the next page after the link, Danny sees Amber freaking out & running off, tho there is a chance he didn’t put 2 & 2 together & get that Amber was running from Sal. Plus does he know about the robbery?

      4. Gordon

        To be fair, it’s been what? Five-ish years? And then a haircut.

        Plus, sheer implausibility. In a universe without narrative causality, what are the odds that Ethan’s teenage hostage taker would be sitting next to him at a college party years later?

        I guess the convenience store robbery was a defining moment for Amber and Sal, but not for Ethan.

        1. Leorale

          Sal’s straightened hair, completion of puberty, and her voice (accent).
          Plus Ethan was probably paying more attention to Amber than to Sal at the time. It may have been kind of a blur for him.

      5. Lord Stoneheart

        Five years (a person can change quite a bit from age 13 to 18), and Sal currently has the curls murdered out of her hair. Amber has told him that his hostage taker lives in the building, but Ethan hasn’t appeared to recognize her. (From what we can tell at least). Though some in the comments have associated his face in the last panel with a look of recognition. I don’t quite see it though. I think it’s just being caught off guard by Sal’s statement in the last panel.

      6. timemonkey

        It’s been five years, her hair and attitude are much different and he wasn’t exactly in a position to look at her after he was taken hostage. When you’re held at knifepoint like he was you tend to face outwards.

    3. Rich

      And next to Amber’s boyfriend to boot. So much train wreck potential. Now we just need her to get drunk. Shame Billie doesn’t look like she’ll be pouring Sal a drink anytime soon. Maybe Walky will share? 🙂

      1. DarkoNeko

        No way, you see how he is with his snacks~

    4. Caffieanted

      I’m thinking this too. Originally I was thinking Amber was going to walk in to see Danny and Ethan kissing which will cause a red flashback of when Ethan revealed he was gay to Amber on Prom night. Just like when Amber’s asshole of a dad attempted to take Danny as a hostage. Now that this happened, I’m thinking “Oh crap.”

  23. chris73

    Best Joyce face yet

  24. Plasma Mongoose

    Joyce looks like a blow-up doll in the last panel.

    1. That Damn Rat

      Which incidentally ties back in to Sal losing her virginity.

  25. JessWitt

    Well, apples are the root of all evil, so says the Bible or somethin’ like that.

    1. JessWitt

      Not to say sex is evil or anything. Better quit before I go full Danny.

      1. Someone

        Uh, Danny has had sex. He got his own slip shine.

    2. Rich

      Nope, symbolizes the knowledge of good and evil. Very different thing.

      1. Lord Stoneheart

        Does the bible actually mention what type of fruit the forbidden fruit was? I thought apples were just something that Renaissance artists decided to depict it as.

        1. Rich

          Not a bit, and there’s considerable debate on the subject. Europe likes it to be an apple, but that may be due to a translation error. Figs, pears, and pomegranates are also popular candidates, and there are plenty of others.

          But for purposes of webcomic comment jokes, apples will do.

        2. Gigafreak

          GOD HATES FIGS

        3. Rich

          He likes figs fine. It’s those rotten lazy fig trees he can’t stand.

  26. Tess

    JOYCE’S FUCKING FACE I CAN’T.

  27. Jesse

    What’s the transition from Apples to Apples to sex?

    1. Rich

      Going to guess a drunken bet was involved.

      1. Screwball

        Making their own cards. Or at least making dirty comments about the selected card…

  28. NinjaNick

    Joyce’s expression was priceless.

    1. Rich

      That’s the face of innocence burning.

      1. Karen Lynn

        Y’all’s avatars are perfect mirrors.

        1. Rich

          Unsurprising, considering that’s Dina doing her Sal impersonation there.

  29. Heavensrun

    Oh god…Joyce’s face….my sides…Ow….

  30. Gram91

    There shall be angst coming soon and I shall laugh

  31. Auroki

    Yes Joyce yes~ Apples to Apples shall show you the way *evil sith music plays*

    1. Rheinman

      I first read that as “evil synth music.” Hey! Yaz isn’t evil, they’re just misunderstood.

  32. Bagge

    Games are for nerds.

    Really cool, sexy nerds, but still.

    1. Em

      Tbh Sal is a giant nerd.

  33. ridtom

    Oh hey. Sal’s sitting next to the guy she held hostage and the guy who’s girlfriend stabbed her hand and still has a huge hate-boner for her.

    Best Apples to Apples? Yes.

    1. MrPotamus

      I’m confused. Do they not acknowledge each other at all or did I miss something?

      1. AgentKeen

        I don’t think Ethan remembers her, and I don’t think Amber has gotten a chance to point her out to him (though I think she did tell him she was at the school all Batman to Commissioner Gordon-like).

  34. Em

    “Damnit Sal you won again? I’m gonna fuck you up!”

    “Be my guest, I’ve been eyeing you all night.”

  35. AgentKeen

    Not something I’d thought we would learn about Sal.

    So, yeah.

  36. Thor

    How do you go from Apples To Apples all the way to Bananas To Peaches?

    1. Kennerly

      At a all girls boarding school? Her first time had to have been Peach to Peach.

      1. Rich

        It’s cute that you think girls’ schools manage to keep all the guys out.

        1. Hielario

          I suddenly realized a possible benefit of having big thighs and a girly voice.

        2. Rich

          Or a predilection for cross dressing.

        3. Hielario

          The clothes would be tricky part, probably…i can shave my face but the rest of me is a big no-no…and my mother is way smaller than me so i can’t ask her.
          Hmmm, maybe i should keep some ladies clothing for situations like that.

        4. John

          Or all the girls in. Especially when they have a predilection for using upper-story windows as egress.

    2. Stephen Bierce

      *plays “Please Don’t Touch My Plums” from the soundtrack of The Duchess and the Dirtwater Fox on the Muzak*

  37. Ridureyu

    Joyce’s face!

    1. Screwball

      I know, right?

  38. Ridureyu

    Anyway, all we need now is for Amber to walk in, see Sal, and then run away, crying hysterically.

  39. podian

    In any other comic, I wouldn’t bother much about the situation like the panel 4. In DoA… one just KNOWS that there WILL be drama.

  40. SunshineDuk

    Okay but realtalk, in college my friends and I played Stripples to Nipples (Strip Apples to Apples) pretty much every Friday night for a year. It’s pretty simple–if you win a round, you get to take off an article of clothing! Very highly recommended. And yes, Stripping Against Humanity is also excellent.

    1. Yossarian Duck

      That actually sounds like a great way to stop both of those games from falling into tedium.

      1. SunshineDuk

        It sure is. And once you’re all naked? Then you play REVERSE Stripples to Nipples! When you win a point, you can take one of the articles of clothing that the current judge came in with. The goal is to assemble the most ridiculous outfit that you can out of other folks’ clothes. It’s wonderful.

        1. Yossarian Duck

          This is sounding better and better.

    2. Heavensrun

      Isn’t the point of most strip games to -stay- clothed while your opponents go through the embarassment of being naked?

      1. Rich

        I guess that’s one victory condition. Think most people are in it for the eye candy and potential post-game sexy times, though.

        1. SunshineDuk

          Yeah, my friends and I never understood that as a win condition. We don’t get embarrassed about being naked, we get excited about it! Being naked is GREAT, the game is just a funny way to make the process of getting naked even sillier than usual.

        2. Heavensrun

          Yeah, but…Being in it for the eye candy means that getting the -other- people naked is the objective, but if winning is the objective, than that’s only gonna get -you- naked. In any game, there’s always more losers than winners anyway, which means if the losers strip, you get more people naked faster anyway, right?

      2. Deanatay

        You can play to lose. 😉

  41. Random832

    Ah. This is the part where Joyce gets to find out how “Christian” A2A really is when you’re not playing it with Christians.

    1. Rycan

      Well, not playing it with her sort of Christians. Billie may just be joining this game after all, you see.

      1. No Name

        And remember, Sal went to a Catholic school. Joyce is Protestant.

  42. Kaunisenkeli

    I love Joyce’s expression in the last panel! Apples to Apples is the “Christian Cards Against Humanity,” huh? xD

    1. leadsynth

      You know how CAH is like a super-offensive version of AtA? Well, when I first heard about CAH, I was like “But you can make dirty jokes with AtA. Why not just do that?” I didn’t understand that CAH is MUCH, MUCH…dirtier.

      But it seems Sal found a way to make AtA good and dirty. I respect that!

  43. brumagem (phone)

    Could Sal be foreshadowing I wonder … !?

  44. kimmibeans

    Yes, that is an accurate description of what can happen during Apples to Apples.

  45. Rich

    So, is it possible that Sal will turn out to have been the worst person to invite to this party? Huge amount of drama disaster potential in Miss Walkerton just waiting to happen.

  46. Rycan

    Sal, wrong tree.

    1. DarkoNeko

      Tempting, but I doubt she’s trying to flirt with Ethan here XD It’s just a random comment.

      (I’ll note she was more interested in saying that to a perfect stranger than to Danny, tho)

      1. saltchocolate

        I noticed that, too!

      2. Rycan

        Tutors are considerably more effective when their aim is to help you learn, and not to get in your pants. I’ve been in a similar situation (I was Danny) where the TA was more interested in sex, and somehow wasn’t a very effective tutor.

        1. DarkoNeko

          …urgh 😐

        2. Rich

          Double urgh.

          Although to be fair to Jason, he made an honest (albeit really ineffective) attempt to help Sal with math right up until she jumped him. The guy’s got lousy self control and bad ethics, but he didn’t start out as a lecher. Marginally less awful than Penny.

        3. chris73

          I don’t know about lousy self-control I mean: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/01-if-the-shoes-split/whatsallthis/

          would be pretty hard (fnar fnar) for anyone to resist

  47. Jack Faire

    My group was so used to making Apples to Apples dirty that the idea of playing it with our kids was disturbing. Cards Against Humanity just makes it easier to be gross.

  48. Commodore Biggles

    For …reasons… “Rubber Gloves” is now an automatic trump card whenever our circle of friends plays A2A. Filth is in the mind of the beholder, as a wise man once said.

    1. Gigafreak

      You can use it as a condom

      Five times

      1. Rich

        That is the worst birth control concept since WW2 when the US GIs went around convincing the local girls Coca-Cola was a contraceptive.

        And you can clearly use it ten times. Just turn it inside out after the first five times. 🙂

        1. leadsynth

          Also, it’s “Rubber Gloves,” plural. Two gloves. So, twenty times.

        2. Screwball

          Should…I be taking notes on this?

        3. Rich

          Yes, and they should read “DON’T DO THIS EVER!”

  49. Idon'tcarenomore

    Sal is not the queen of the nerds imo. Danny actually taught her to play his DHS. She got good fast of course, she’s Sal.
    She also doesn’t give a damn about who thinks what is cool or not. Everyone is playing AtoA, okay, she will also. If someone thinks she’s lame, go tell her about it. She has a very chilly “and…” stare.

    Joyce, you love Sal because she is so cool, and still expect her to have your ideals. Great eyebrows.

    1. Chubsius

      I think you might be misremembering. Sal showed Danny how to win at Mario Kart without prior instruction; Danny just taught her some math afterwards.

      1. Rycan

        My favorite part is how he uses Mario Kart to teach her math (or at least figure out why she’s struggling).

      2. Jason

        Nope, Danny showed her how to play. Then Sal showed him how to win!

  50. Gabrielg

    everything in the world can be either a weapon or a fetish

    1. Yossarian Duck

      Why not both?

      1. Rheios

        Y’know I have just the link for this. https://imgur.com/gallery/w4lqaPu

        1. leadsynth

          Wow. That thing is incredibly…floppy.

        2. Screwball

          …And yet deals the final seen blow…

  51. Greenygal

    I kind of want to feel pleased that Sal took Sarah’s words to heart and decided not to spend her evening just waiting around for Marcie. Marcie has made it plain that as much as she likes Sal, she doesn’t want Sal to be her entire social circle, and it’s healthy for Sal to follow suit.

    …but the impending explosion is likely to put Sal off social occasions for life, so there’s that.

    1. DarkoNeko

      …provided she survives.

  52. modernpython

    Hahaha. Round one of “is Joyce in awe or embarrassed?” Start.

    1. Yossarian Duck

      I think you’re missing ‘turned on’.

      1. Rich

        Her Sal fantasies are strictly from the neck up, though.

        1. John

          But the luxurious chocolate waves go down to her butt!

  53. Megatron

    I like Sal, I think she’d be a Decepticon. Billie, on the other hand, is clearly a prissy Autobot.

    1. Razzmatazz MacKenzie

      I have a word filter that automatically replaces the names of the major American political parties with the transformers factions. It took me a while to figure out your comment.

      1. KingoHrts

        Oh hell, can I get that word filter for my computer? And can I change the default words? I want to send resend the Fox news articles my very obsessed Brother-in-law keeps sending me.

      2. Megatron

        Join me and I’ll replace your useless political parties with my iron fist. (Note, my fist is not really made of iron. It’s just an old Cybertronion expression.)

        1. Megatron

          “In other news, the Headmasters on the Supreme Court ruled that fracking for energon is perfectly legal.”

          “The Predacon lobby is asking for grater restrictions on animal trapping.”

          “A minicon close to the president told us on the condition of anonymity that…”

        2. Screwball

          YOU SAID I’D REMAIN ANONYMOUS!!

      3. Rycan

        Given the crowd here, I have a pretty good guess of which is which.

      4. DarkoNeko

        …that’s hilarous.

  54. Cheryl

    Nosebleed joyce!

  55. Garrett

    Ah, Wonderbread. My favorite mildly insulting nickname

    1. DarkoNeko

      Ironically, it’s the most “affectionnate” nickname we ever saw her giving anybody.

      1. leadsynth

        Bro. Roomie. Pollyanna. Lisa Simpson.

    2. Spencer

      It’s kind of interesting that Sal, who’s been victimized by her parent’s ingrained racism, is pretty casual about referring to Joyce as “insanely white” and to Danny as “wonderbread.” It’s pretty interesting how she equates their dorky fangirling or overall plainness by how white they are.

      1. Em

        It’s possible that she herself has racial biases herself.

      2. Rycan

        I don’t think she sees them as racial biases because she isn’t causing them harm. Doesn’t mean she’s right, though.

        1. Spencer

          I’m not trying to compare her reactions to Joyce or Danny to that of her parents, because what the Walktertons have done has been genuinely harmful to Sal all her life, while what she’s said to them is basically just mildly rude at worst.

        2. leadsynth

          Wait, do we actually KNOW that Mom and Dad Walkerton have a racial bias against Sal? I thought that was just in Sal’s head? I guess her dad did say that her hair was “so pretty when it’s long and straight,” but…but it IS so pretty when it’s long and straight, so I didn’t really see that as evidence of a racial bias.

      3. DarkoNeko

        You know, I’ve been thinking for a while that mommy Walkerton favored David because he was a boy, not because he was “whiter”.

        1. Spencer

          It’s been outright confirmed to be over racial preferences, both in and out of the comic.

      4. drs

        She boned Jason of all people. Maybe she’s sublimating her attraction to desaturated-Americans.

        1. Rycan

          A desaturated-American would be better known as a mummy.

        2. drs

          I think you mean dehydrated. Anyway, I was referring to color saturation.

  56. Plasma Mongoose

    Why do I get the feeling that Sal boned a teacher at that boarding school, that or a nun.

    1. Rich

      That might help explain her willingness to jump in the sack with Jason, sadly.

    2. Em

      Oh gross noooo…adults boning kids makes me mad. But it does happen…I think that this happened when she snuck out of her dorm, or snuck someone in the dorm. (in boarding school, just to clarify)

      1. Rich

        I agree it’s vile, but don’t Jason/Sal and Penny/Mike bother you nearly as much? There’s less of a pedo/exploitive caregiver vibe there, but they’re still way older than a freshman and what they’re doing is thoroughly unethical even if the kids are old enough to give informed consent. There’s quite a bit of power disparity even with a TA, after all.

        More likely you’re right and Sal just broke curfew with some townies at some point, though.

        1. Em

          Heehee Penny/Mike…I believe she slept with Joe. But while I do agree that there is a power imbalance, and that it’s completely unethical, it is still two consenting adults. And I have less of a problem with that. I don’t like teachers boning students that they have power over. Or anyone having sex with people they have power over, for that matter. (Billie/Ruth) But having sex with kids bothers me way more. WAAAAY more.

        2. Rich

          Cripes, yeah, Penny/Joe. Am I subconsciously shipping Mike with people? How disturbing.

        3. Rycan

          I don’t even think Penny is a mother.

        4. Rycan

          It’s funny – if Sal had come expecting help (which she did), and Jason chose to jump her instead (it was actually the other way around), I’d be bothered a lot more. Should Jason have refused? Of course – it comes with the job.

          As for Penny and Joe, well, it’s Joe. Need I say more?

          Point is, you’re right about the power disparity, but with a college student and a TA, there are plenty of cases where that was irrelevant. Doesn’t make those cases okay – the student may pressure the TA for better grades, or the TA may ruin the student if a messy breakup occurs. It’s just… less wrong than a situation where power is leveraged for sex.

  57. Halcyon42

    No matter what anybody says, in my head this is now somehow based on a true story.

  58. Chrissy

    Isn’t that kind of a weird thing to say in front of your sibling? Am I the only one who thinks that?

    1. Bagge

      They have a pretty weird relationship. I’m guessing at least part of it is that Sal still wants family to know that she is a REBEL.

    2. Rich

      If you mean discussing your sex life in front of a sibling, that seems normal enough to me. Not like she’s going into graphic detail, and she’s obviously comfortable about the subject. Why would it be weird talking about it in Walky’s presence but not to a room full of near-strangers?

      1. zee

        Agreed. Me and my brother have discussed this sort of stuff. Not in extreme detail, but at this level, sure. If you’re actually close to your sibling its not that weird.

    3. Em

      Depends on your closeness to your sibling. My sister and I talk about sex toys and general sex all the time. It’s only awkward if you make it awkward. Then again, I’m very open about my sexual experiences, so it’s rare that I feel odd about opening up. It does happen, but usually not.

    4. Rycan

      Not sure if you can count Walky as being ‘present’ right now.

  59. Majere

    I don’t see how this undermines Billie’s point at all, Sal is pretty clearly an enormous nerd.

    1. timemonkey

      Sal is also so cool Billie is hideously jealous of her.

      1. Rycan

        This. She’s also more popular than Billie, much to the irritation of both of them.

  60. Spencer

    So I guess this confirms that Ethan doesn’t recognize Sal. He probably didn’t get a good look at her face during the whole event, and afterwards was more concerned with Amber. He does know that the girl who threatened to stab him is at the college, but unlike Amber he hasn’t been obsessing over that night for the past five years.

    1. Rich

      Honestly, I doubt he’s going make an issue of it when he does find out, unless he feels like he has to for Amber’s sake. It was years ago, he didn’t get a scratch in the incident, Sal served her time for the crimes and got a scar to boot, and he’s not the vindictive or obsessive type. If he doesn’t twig to who she is too early, they might even wind up friends.

      Which could really make things uncomfortable for Amber, but she needs to work past the Sal hate eventually. Ethan and Danny might be able to help with that if they’ve both had positive experiences with Sal.

      1. Spencer

        I can sort of see that happen. Ethan I feel doesn’t really put much thought into what happened because he’s more concerned with Amber’s safety, and he’s largely over it because it was a long time ago and also because he puts Amber before his own feelings. I doubt he’ll ever become bros with Sal, what with the whole hostage taking at knifepoint, but his main concern is how Amber is reacting to Sal’s presence, which is why when Amber brought up that she was at the college, Ethan was more worried that Amber was climbing through windows and speaking in third person, and he even described Sal as “some girl” in comparison to Amber’s “evil fuck of a father.”

  61. Les

    I’m melting, melting….

  62. Daizy

    Aw man, now Joyce is gonna have to choose between her love for Sal and her hatred of pre-marital hanky-panky. One the one hand there’s God, but on the other there is a luxurious chocolate river of hair and a motorcycle.

  63. Catty

    Oh, Billie, we get it: when you were a secondary student you did the stupidest, most cringeworthy school-related activity of all time and you think it makes you special. Petty, self-absorbed and indicative of how amazingly little you know of the world.

    On the other hand, I’M the one who’s telling a comic strip character to get a life.

  64. Crumplepunch

    STILL FITNESS.

  65. Captain Nemo

    Joyce face is best face

  66. fogel

    Joyce’s eyebrows are grabbing some seriously Big Air.

  67. LordHaw

    Sal broke Joyce. You can almost see the steam coming out of her ears…maybe I watch too much anime 😛

    1. Catty

      Baka! No such thing as too much.

      Unless it’s something like Pokemon. Then you need help.

      1. DarkoNeko

        Better Pokémon than crap like Queen’s blade…

        1. Rich

          Queen’s Blade is mild as terrible anime goes. You want to make an anime fan stammer and change the subject, try School Days.

        2. drs

          My impression after a Valentine’s Day marathon was that School Days was well done for what it was. Doesn’t mean I’d want to watch it again, but still.

        3. Rich

          Lot of people hate it like poison, and ye gods, that ending. Not that he doesn’t deserve worse, but the girls’ fate makes Romeo & Juliet look cheery by comparison.

          Still, if you want an alternate awful, how’s about Kiss X Sis? Incest ecchi bad enough?

        4. ridtom

          Ugh, KissxSiss.

          My friends and I used to get drunk and randomly choose manga off of one of the many manga sites. We’d then spin a bottle and have to read at least 5 chapters before describing it in an abriged (i.e. drunk) fashion.

          I got Kissxsiss. I felt my eyes burning in disgust by the 2nd chapter.

        5. Rich

          I think I’d rather play Russian roulette than take my chances on random manga.

        6. drs

          Have barely heard of it, so can’t say. Incest has a fine pedigree (…) going back to at least Victorian erotica; this sounds like something that’d be bad for gen use but hot for many people.

          People tell me DBZ consists of many episodes of people yelling at each other, with multiple episodes per powerup. That sounds pretty dreadful, but I have trouble believing them.

          Ooh, Endless Eight. WTF, studio. WTF.

        7. drs

          EE is almost literally “too much anime”, of a particular type. Eight almost identical episodes, animated differently each time…

        8. Rich

          OTOH, it does a fantastic job of trolling Haruhi fans, and sitting through all eight episodes really gives you an appreciation of the hell of tedium poor Yuki lived through. Makes her actions in Disappearance more believable.

          With DBZ, I think I’ll stick to Team Four Star’s version. The description you passed along is only a minor exaggeration of the original.

  68. diello

    Best face ever!

    1. MiaKitty

      I literally came to the comments section just to see who had changed their Gravatar to that face. It is truly glorious.

      1. diello

        It had to be done 🙂

  69. Lulu

    I feel sorry for Joyce.

  70. zee

    This will be Billie’s biggest issue to over come in her life. I realized that learning to stop hating on stuff for no reason is one of the biggest things you can do to grow the fuck up.

    Other music genre’s are not that bad. No one genre of entertainment is truly superior to all others. And it’s OK to stop trying to look cool for the sake of a little harmless fun. I went to plenty of college parties, and they were great, but some of my best night were playing video games or thing similar to A2A with a big group of people.

    It’s honestly sad when people can’t figure out that coolness doesn’t actually matter, and in your pursuit of not being a geek, you miss out on a lot of fun.

  71. Deanatay

    Joyce’s red apple: Lusty
    Her green apples:
    Motorcycles
    Whiteboards
    Lightsabers
    Sushi
    Apples to Apples

    1. Rich

      It’s a sign from God, Joyce.

    2. No Name

      Uh, sorry to nitpick, but red apples are the nouns and green apples are the adjectives. You did put the right parts of speech in the right places though.

    3. Rycan

      Joyce loves those lusty lightsabers.

  72. Makkabee

    Joyce’s face makes me so happy.

  73. BenRG

    Wow! Billie isn’t a happy bunny-rabbit with this turn of events, is she? Is she jealous of Sal? Or is she just such a bitter spirit that the thought of anyone having fun just makes her fume?

    As for Joyce? Oh, those are stars in her eyes! I still can’t get my head around the fact that she’s somehow imprinted on Sal who is, let’s face it, as close to her diametric opposite as it is possible to get! Yet, somehow, the idea of a game of A2A turning into a first sexual experience entrances her!

    Now, we merely await the response when Amber sees Sal sitting next to her boyfriend and the man she once held hostage. Remembering, of course, that Sal is, after Amber’s father, the most traumatic boogey-man in her fractured psyche. Can you say ‘interesting times’?

    1. Em

      Pretty sure Billie is upset that the coolest, sexiest girl she knows just waltzed in and basically made Apples to Apples sound incredibly awesome. Billie did just insult the game. Not only does Sal want to play it, she used to play it ALL THE TIME, AND she got laid because of it.

      1. DarkoNeko

        I’m not sure getting laid because of a game would impress Billie, of all people.

  74. theheroesofcrash

    Poor Billie. She’s so resentful toward Sal because (as far as she knows*) she’s not afraid of doing things for fear of looking uncool, while Billie tries to maintain an air of dignity based on what society has taught her, and in the end misses out on friendship and fun. Billie is kinda like DoA’s Squidward (How’s that for a disturbing analogy?).

    *To be fair, Billie isn’t aware that Sal does hide her “extracurricular math activities”, because she doesn’t want people to know she’s bad at math, that she cares about her grades, and that she’s having an illicit relationship with a snobby, bowtie-wearing nerd. So even Sal cares about her reputation.

    1. Rycan

      Pretty sure the tutoring is now completely separate from the affair, given how Danny has been co-opted into providing the former.

  75. Heyitsthatoneguy

    Would pay to see that slipshine. Not even out of lust, just because… Apples to Apples? HOW?!

  76. Deanatay

    “Nah, I’m cool bein’ antisocial in my ro-
    Did they just say Apples To Apples??”
    ZIP
    “I’M IN!”

    Ah, the power of gaming.

    1. Rycan

      Sal is pretty passionate about her games, yes.

  77. Deanatay

    Currently, I count three virgins in the DoA main cast: Joyce, Ethan, and Dina. Walky was one at first, but no longer. Did I miss any?

    (And, no, I didn’t forget about Riley – I said MAIN cast!!)

    1. Rich

      Those are confirmed. If we’re counting everyone on the cast page, Becky is probably a virgin (seemed like she and her partner got caught early) and Carla’s an ace by Word of God so she’s likely one as well. I don’t think Sarah is definitely in either camp by canon unless you count Little Jacob, although she sure doesn’t act like a stereotypical virgin. Mike also isn’t confirmed as either, which is pretty funny considering his Walkyverse antics.

      1. Deanatay

        Interesting. I would have put Becky in the ‘not a virgin’ category, as she seems quite converted by her experience, so I’m assumed it was a fulfilling one. (I’m also not sure if ‘virginity’ means anything to lesbians, or what it means.) As for Carla being an ace doesn’t mean you’ve never had sex before – I’d think you’d want to try sex at least once before deciding that it isn’t important.

        1. David M Willis

          How many dudes do you gotta have sex with before you can decide you’re not gay?

        2. Rich

          I see your point, but the answer probably varies from person to person. Just because I’d say “zero” doesn’t mean someone else would.

          Carla lives in your head, so I guess we can add her to the canonical list of virgins.

        3. Spencer

          It’s not necessarily that there’s anything wrong with playing the field a bit before you find an answer, but it’s pretty insulting to say that you don’t *really* know until you’ve tried.

          At the risk of getting up my own ass, I know I’m bisexual, but I haven’t been with another guy before and maybe never will, and that’s fine, but honestly sometimes I tell myself that I don’t count as a bi dude because, hey, I don’t “really know” right?

          Just to be clear, I want to state that I don’t think you or Deanatay were even remotely seriously trying to come to any point like that.

        4. Rich

          Not sure how to respond to that. Labels can be kind of limiting, but I’d say who you’re attracted to is relevant whether you act on those attractions or not. Sexual behavior is discrete from sexual identity, after all. What you call yourself is ultimately up to you, and “just myself” is as valid a choice as “bi” is.

          And now I sound like Ashley over on EGS.

          Anyway, my reasoning behind saying that Carla was “likely” a virgin (rather than definitely) was based on the fact that asexuals sometimes choose to have sex even when they really aren’t interested, not because they necessarily need to experiment to know they aren’t.

        5. Spencer

          I get that, but I was trying to dissuade the argument Deanatay was making above about wanting to try it once before she dismisses it.

          That is a perfectly valid and healthy thing for ace people to do, and it is likewise perfectly valid and healthy to say “Nah, not interested.” from the word go, just like how I should be able to say “I’m bi” without second guessing myself over it because I haven’t touched a wiener.

        6. Agemegos

          Three.

  78. zebrathinker

    BILLIE YOU WILL NEVER BE COOL

  79. lomie

    that story needs to be the next slipshine

    1. David M Willis

      please do not request underaged kids to be in slipshines

      1. Roborat

        Wow, how old was she when she did it? I was assuming she was 16-17 ish. I don’t consider that underage.

        1. Em

          18 is the typical age of consent, therefore 16 and 17 is underage. On the internet, any people shown in pornographic form that are under the age of 18 are considered child pornography.

        2. Catty

          Actually, it isn’t typical. Ages below 18 are more common. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_consent#Law

          The point is that 18 is the typical minimum age of an adult.

        3. Kamino Neko

          18 isn’t the typical AoC…what it is is the typical age to appear in porn. Drawings aren’t settled law in the US, but they are in some other places, and even in the US, you’re liable to be hit with Obscenity, even if not Child Porn, charges.

        4. Em

          True. I suppose I just got so used to 18 being the age of consent in my state, that I forgot that it’s often younger elsewhere. I did do some research, and yes, it appears as though comic child pornography is legal because it “isn’t hurting any real children.” It is therefore up to the artist if they wish to draw it. I’m with Willis though on his stance on drawing under 18 porn. Maybe it’s just because of the laws I’m used to, I dunno.

        5. Em

          I think I just don’t want to see depictions of kids having sex with each other. I’d rather look at adults.

        6. Catty

          The age of consent in my state is 16 (and I think someone would have to be very uptight about sex indeed to think that was too low). However, depictions of people (even illustrations) who are under the age of adulthood (18) is a different matter (though I don’t understand why I shouldn’t be allowed to publish a drawing of a naked person I’m entitled to have consensual sex with).

          Willis is in the US, which has a global reputation for being full of nitwits who are hysterical about teenagers having sex. So he’s certainly being sensible by avoiding such depictions of under-18s.

        7. Catty

          Oops. I meant to say “an imaginary naked person” etc.

        8. Rycan

          Or, Willis just doesn’t want to draw teenagers having sex, and would rather stick to drawing adults.

      2. Spencer

        It’s alarming how often you have to say that.

        1. Rycan

          I was about to comment on the same thing.

  80. Coco Pommel

    Joyce’s expression on the last panel makes me giggle.

  81. Vree

    Joyce: “L-lewd!”

  82. DarkoNeko

    Suddenly I’m wondering why Dotty’s face in hidden in both panel she appear in.

    maybe…
    She asked alcohol from Billie, too~~ and her face’s flushed.
    Ah well, just making silly theories.

    1. Em

      I think it’s merely because the focus is on Joyce, and the camera angle doesn’t allow for her face to be shown.

  83. Clif

    I don’t know whose face is more entertaining in that last panel, Joyce’s or Billie who’s just been out-cooled.

    This party is such an explosion waiting to go off. And yet it’s almost certain Sal will be gone before Amber gets there, as Damn You Willus teases us.

    Tho, there’s a long shot that I’m wrong and the way to Danny/Ethan is opened up by Amber/Amazigirl breaking up with him because of Sal. And then of course after the Slipshine she discovers her mistake and wants to make up.

    And Mary hasn’t even crashed the party yet.

  84. Ryan Balis

    No! Premarital Hanky Panky!

  85. Ellen

    This is my favorite Joyce face ever.

    1. Chris

      Seconded. I think I like this face better than all previous Willis-drawn faces combined.

  86. Tunasammich

    I love that Sal calls Danny “wonderbread” and he’s not even insulted by it

  87. Church

    Are we not going to talk about //wonderbread//

    1. Church

      THE FUNNIEST PART IS THAT AN ARTIST NAMED DANNY MADE A SONG CALLED WONDERBREAD IM DYING RIGHT NOW OMG

  88. Onion

    JOYCE’S FACE OH MY GGGGGG

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