154

Assembled
Posted on February 15, 2023 by David M Willis

154 thoughts on “Assembled”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    she and Leslie could make a club… sandwich… board… club…

    1. True Survivor

      Wow, great memory.

      Also, sandwich club. I get it – that’s good.

  2. Doctor_Who

    Disappointingly, the Nuclear Football is not what gave NFL SuperPro his powers.

    1. Clif

      It hasn’t been called the nuclear football in an age. I say that without knowing what the current phrase is or the current code euphemism for the president.

      1. Clif

        The name nuclear football evolved out of operation dropkick, but in any case (case – get it) it contains the gold codes or whatever they’re calling them nowadays.

        1. Mark

          Would that be “go codes”?

      2. thejeff

        I’m not sure it was ever officially the nuclear football. It was more of a nickname than a codename and it’s still in fairly common use as such.

  3. shadowcell

    all the presidential M&Ms you can eat

    1. Doctor_Who

      Presidents get the original tan ones and blue. It’s a perk.

      1. Needfuldoer

        Some administrations will reject the green ones.

        1. Pilgrim

          That depends upon what shoes they’re wearing.

  4. Sirksome

    Social climbing is nothing compared to revenge. Dorothy should know this. She wants to be president.

    1. Stephen Bierce

      If living well is the best revenge, then social climbing is a valid weapon of choice.

    2. Nono

      Maybe she should watch Scandal.

      (I have never watched an episode of Scandal.)

      1. cbwroses

        I don’t think Dorothy can handle the various murders, spying, and coverups.

        Raidah definitely can.

    3. khn0

      social climbing is basically the art of climbing on the shoulders of others. Either you do it with their benediction and support, or crushing them under your feet.

  5. Stephen Bierce

    The Future’s So BRIGHT, I Gotta Wear SHADES!

    1. True Survivor

      Especially if you let random staffers touch the nuclear football.

      Great song though – it made me happy in high school.

      1. True Survivor

        In case that makes me sound old, I found it on the local channel that plays music for my dad’s generation.

        1. StClair

          So you deflect by making me feel old. nice.

          (I also remember it from high school… the first time.)

      2. The Wellerman

        What is a nuclear football? Is this another human meme thing I missed?

        1. ktbear

          AKA the keys to nuclear armageddon.

        2. UrsulaDavina

          It’s a suitcase that allows the President of the US to authorize a nuclear strike when they are not a fixed command post

        3. not someone else

          There’s this briefcase with the nuclear codes that famously gets yoinked around by someone near the President, handcuffed to their wrist. It’s called the nuclear football.

        4. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          As I recall, it mainly contains a loose-leaf book of SIOP (Single Integrated Operating Plan) options that the President can choose, ranging, I’d speculate, from “fire a nuke as a warning shot” to “try to completely destroy the enemy nation.” It also contains password codes that prove that “this is really the President sending this”.

          I think there is or was also a credit card sized thing the President can keep in their wallet with such password codes.

        5. Masumi

          Considering how prone I am to forgetting my wallet places, I would not be able to sleep having such a card in there XD

        6. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          I think there was so controversy about what happened to it when Reagan was shot.

        7. Dean

          I’m fairly sure the President doesn’t carry a wallet. I mean, what would he need it for?

        8. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          I recall a bit in that movie with Michael Douglas as the President who wants to send flowers to a woman and has to ask his secretary where his credit cards are. Because obviously that isn’t a legit government expense. (In storage at his home in Iowa or something.)

        9. thejeff

          It’s all classified, but it’s also assumed to include some kind of secure communications gear these days.

        10. True Survivor

          It is the (unofficial, I am pretty sure) for the device carried by an accompanying secret service office whenever the president is away from a designated command center. It allows the president to authorize a nuclear strike. There is technically more than one, as the VP also gets one in case the President is compromised and I’m pretty sure they have back ups in case of tech issues – etc.

          You’d hate not to be able to wipe out all life on Earth just because Windows is updating for the tenth time that day. Though, maybe that’s why they’d feel like wiping out Earth…. tech support is a nightmare.

        11. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          Quibble, a military officer assigned to the job, not a Secret Service agent, I think.

        12. Wizard

          Correct.

        13. thejeff

          Yes, there is a 3rd for backup. Normally kept at the White House.

          Last seen at Biden’s inauguration, since Trump wasn’t there. Trump carried one to Mar-a-Lago, while the 3rd one was brought with Biden to the Inauguration. At noon, the codes were changed. The old ones deactivated and the new ones activated.

      3. Wizard

        Ironically enough, the seemingly upbeat song was actually inspired by the threat of nuclear war. The guy who’s doing good in all his classes is studying nuclear science, and will presumably go on to build bigger and better bombs. There was originally a third verse that made this a lot more explicit, but it was cut from both the album and single versions.

  6. DarkoNeko

    A roundabout way of warning Walky about Raidah’s motives

  7. DarkoNeko

    “the nuclear football”… is that what kids call it these days ? 😀

  8. RassilonTDavros

    Oof. I know Walky doesn’t know it, but he’s rubbing what has to be some serious salt in Dorothy’s wound.

    1. Reltzik

      Those wounds are salty enough already!

    2. Doctor_Who

      This whole storyline has been “Watch Dorothy quietly die inside”.

      1. GholaHalleck

        It’s been fun watching all the people who she thinks she has to mother, showing their maturity and self reliance now that she’s given up on her dream after the first real hurdle presents itself.

      2. Reltzik

        Prediction: She’s going to start externalizing that trauma.

  9. Amós Batista

    No, she don’t have any other wagon to go.
    Only you, Walky. That’s why she choose to enter the same elevator with you, smartass.

    1. Sirksome

      I think Walky means Dorothy is a better prospect for Raidah to hitch to than he is. She’s an excellent student (Yale accepted until further notice) and wants to get into politics. What is Walky compared to that? A hot guy with a twitter comic he may or may not have forgotten about.

      1. Nono

        Might be because Walky’s parents seem vaguely important (well we don’t know what they do, but Linda is connected to the Dean).

        It depends on how far Raidah wants to go, but sometimes making lots of little connections is more important than the one big one.

        1. Wizard

          Kind of a “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” thing. A whole lot of yesterday’s rising stars are today’s flameouts. If you choose the wrong one, you’re probably going down with them.

        2. Mark

          “And all the stars
          that never were
          are parkin’ cars and pumpin’ gas.”

  10. chuckroast

    She miss himb.

    1. Needfuldoer

      Maybe she’ll realize she never had to break up with him, because he wasn’t the problem.

      1. zee

        I don’t think she ever framed him as the problem? She initiated the break bc she realized SHE was getting distracted and her grades were slipping, and then after violating the terms of the break she broke things off all together bc she realized SHE was tugging him around and it wasn’t fair.

        I think she thoroughly identified herself as the problem

        1. Needfuldoer

          She wants to be President, and until quite recently thought she could do it just by ticking all the boxes and providing the “obvious”, pragmatic, altruistic solutions. She pinned her entire self-image on that goal, to the point where she’s willing to sacrifice anything she cares about in the short- to medium-term to reach it.

          It wasn’t that Walky was a stifling distraction, he was just taking away time she could use to buckle down and try even harder; because surely all she has to do is try harder and success will come her way.

          That’s her problem.

    2. Moonie

      You missed the “o” in “himbo”

  11. shrub

    Panel 4. The look you get when you realise the people you think are your peers don’t think the same about you

    1. Mark

      Perhaps. What I saw is that Dorothy is taking Walky’s question seriously, and getting hints of a surprising answer that she doesn’t like. Or several distinct disturbing answers, which could all be true together.

      I think she’s going to keep picking at that question.

      1. Clif

        I just like the fact that she’s considering Walky’s suggestion in the last panel.

  12. Reltzik

    … so this isn’t so much about networking with Walky as it’s about second-hand networking with Linda, amiright?

  13. Slartibeast Button, BIA

    Sorry, I’m behind, who is the “better wagon”?

    1. Axel

      He means Dotty. Why (Raidah) sniff up my ass, when you (Dotty) have a better wagon.

      1. Moon

        But that doesn’t link up with the dialogue in panel 5, which is Walky pivoting the conversation to be about Dorothy’s *lack* of connections (which incidentally reads as pretty salty to me).

        1. v.gay.person

          He still thinks she has the potential of being a powerful person as future-president (and that that makes her a better wagon), not quite realising the issue isn’t that Dorothy /isn’t/ putting herself out there (when that’s a lot of what she’s doing) when the issue is that she doesn’t already hold any social capital of interest to Raidah.

          Kinda like the whole “You too can be a millionaire cos this twenty something dude built his own business empire” when he started with a loan from his parents. But with social capital.

        2. thejeff

          I suspect Dorothy’s taking it the way you are, but I think Walky just means that Raidah doesn’t realize it because Dorothy isn’t putting herself out there enough.

        3. BOOSTER SHOT

          It does link up. That’s why he’s talking about Dorothy’s connections. He’s asking why Raidah is sniffing his ass when Dorothy is a better star to hitch herself to. And the only explanation Walky can come up with is that Raidah just isn’t aware enough of Dorothy. Because obviously, if she was, she’d be going after her instead of dumb ol barely passing Math him.

        4. Archieve

          There is some truth to that, Dorothy hasn’t done much outside helping her own friend group and even that has mostly been limited to Joyce, Walky and Becky. Dorothy intense study schedule has definitely come at the cost of her social networking.

  14. Yotomoe

    If I didn’t know any better I would totally think Walky just said Dorothy has a nice ass in a roundabout way.

    1. The Wellerman

      Either that or you finally progressed to stage 2 butts disease ?

    2. Reltzik

      By “roundabout”, do you mean it’s about how her ass is round?

      1. The Wellerman

        I think he means the song that plays at the end of the “To Br Continued” meme ?

      2. Needfuldoer

        They mean mountains come out of the sky and they stand there.

  15. newlland(Henryvolt)

    Dorothy does realize she still has credibility despite not going to an ivy league school right? Yale isn’t the end all be all.

    1. C.T. Phipps

      I mean she’s crashed and burned herself deliberately.

  16. Derek

    I feel like this is a USA government reference, what’s a nuclear football? what’s kompromat?

    1. anon

      i have no idea, there is that ‘big red button’ which is apparently a nuke?? but i doubt there’s a literal one versus a ton of paperwork and red tape but never heard it as a football euphemism before

    2. UrsulaDavina

      It’s a briefcase that allows the US President to authorize a nuclear strike when away from fixed command centers.

      1. Derek

        How is it that I knew that Roger Fisher suggested to have these nuclear codes implanted in the chest of a volunteer; so when a president wanted to use them, they’d literally have to go go through someone (killing them in the process) to get the codes but I didn’t know about nuclear football?

        learning USA politics through internet osmosis sure is weird

        1. Jamie

          It’s not really US politics so much as it’s US military protocol. It’s just that the US military happens to be headed by a civilian politician.

    3. Kavonde

      The nuclear football is a briefcase that a member of the President’s Secret Service detail is supposed to always be carrying, cuffed to his wrist. It allows the President to authorize a nuclear strike. Kompromat is material that can be used to blackmail someone.

    4. True Survivor

      The nuclear football is the (unofficial, I think) term for the device carried by a Secret Service operative which accompanies the president at all times which allows the president to order a nuclear strike. There is technically more than one as the VP also has one in case the President is compromised.

      Kompromat is a term for compromising information that can be used to discredit, manipulate, or blackmail somebody, often for political purposes.

    5. Reltzik

      There’s been a lot of headlines recently about former presidents and vice presidents being discovered to have lots of classified materials (I don’t think explicitly kompromat, but it might have included kompromat) in their private residences and offices, when strict rules that are supposed to keep track of classified documents say This Isn’t Allowed. (A lot of it seems to have just been aides mistakenly packing the wrong folder into the wrong box when it came time to move out of the White House, so it isn’t 100% nefarious.)

      1. shanunu

        I doubt it is very much nefarious, but to my knowledge stuff is supposed to be color coded based on how confidential it is, so I do wonder how stuff gets left behind when it is noticeably a “dont leave this behind” color

        1. morleuca

          For the same reason I’m unpacking boxes with a roll of toilet paper, a single sock, a handful of lego, a snack bag of doritos, an unfinished chainmail project, a stack of old World of Darkness books, and a bunch of kitchen utensils in them. Too much to pack and no time left to sort oreven pay attention to what you are doing.

        2. Jmacq1

          Those color-coded coversheets get lost pretty easily, especially with top-level officials where folks don’t want to “waste their time” by having them have to flip an extra “useless” page while going through the material.

          There is of course redundancy…text markings at the top and bottom of each page and at the beginning of paragraphs that contain classified information, but chances are folks aren’t reading everything when they’re throwing it in boxes and clearing out offices in a short timespan.

          Regarding recent events it’s worth mentioning that the outgoing President receives a lot of direct support from the National Archives when clearing out their workspaces to try to find all this stuff and make sure it’s properly secured. However, outgoing Vice Presidents do not receive that same level of support so it’s a lot more likely for things to fall through the cracks with them.

    6. vulcanodon

      Nuclear Football is a briefcase full of electronics that travels around with the president and provides launch capability for nukes. Kompromat is a Russian word that amounts to having dirty secrets on someone, so you can control them.

    7. Jamie

      Think about that scene in Iron Man 2 on the race track. The thing Happy is carrying around is a reference to the nuclear football. (They actually literally refer to it as a football.)

  17. anon

    i mean idk if dorothy’s family is well off, but someone unironically wanting to be future president, i can totally imagine ppl riding their coat tails

    “At the risk bragging, one of the things I’m best at is riding coattails. Behind every successful man is me, smiling and taking partial credit.”

    1. Axel

      idk, my response would probably be “that person has delusions of grandeur or is really self obsessed if they want to and think they can do that.” (not that that doesn’t also describe actual presidents, but I mean to say I wouldn’t want to be around them, nor believe in them enough to think riding their coattails would get me anywhere. especially someone in college.)

      (I know dorothy isn’t this. this isn’t dorothy flaming)

  18. UrsulaDavina

    Can some one remind what Walky’s specfic use is? Even Walky is having a difficult time determining what it is.
    With Raidah It’s like implementing 3d chess strategies when the game is checkers.

    1. Mr. Random

      His name

      1. BarerMender

        Also, she thinks he’s cute.

        1. Mr. Random

          True, but she’s smart.
          She wouldn’t want to be friends with someone solely for their looks, it’d give her no social benefit unless she plans to launch him as a missile to snag someone else into their social circle.
          My main guess is that she became aware of him for his looks, but wants him in the group because of his name.

    2. shrub

      The only thing I can think is because of his link with Billie, there’s absolutely no other reason for her to be interested in Walky and Lucy

    3. Sirksome

      It’s specifically this:

      https://www.dumbingofage.com/2022/comic/book-12/04-dont-stop-billie-ving/kept/

      Sarah once said she liked the group she was walking with. Walky was part of that group. Taking him away hurts Sarah (maybe) and that’s enough for Raidah. Also Walky was magically very hot that day, so you know, maybe she wants a taste too. That’s a theory going around.

      1. cbwroses

        I agree it is specifically to remove Sarah’s friends.
        And Joyce’s friends.
        That’s how Billieken Skywalker became Darth Jennifer.

        https://www.dumbingofage.com/2022/comic/book-12/05-this-was-halloween/realestate/

        1. Holly

          Well now this strip makes me wonder if Char was dating Carl at the time and Raidah booted her from the social group in favour of Billie and started dating Carl. Maybe not, but I wouldn’t put it past her.

        2. Archieve

          Either that or Char got herself in hot water so saying something offensive to the wrong person, her most memorable trait was saying awful stuff to and about people.

    4. GholaHalleck

      Walky leads her to his parents who are apparently well off, and tied up with either the school, or the government, I forget which.

      He’s an in-road to more powerful lackeys and like minded people.

      1. Sirksome

        This is what I don’t get. Are the Walkertons actually wealthy and connected? Mom was once married to the dean, but how far can you really take that? Their best connection is Jennifer, which Raidah already has. They seem to live comfortably, but we don’t even know what Linda and Charles do.

    5. Yotomoe

      Didn’t Walky’s mom used to Bone the dean? Which is a very unromantic way to put it, which is why I said it like that.

    6. zee

      His parents are rich and his mom used to be married to the dean, and it seems the divorce was pretty amicable. Idk if she knows that last part but 1, Billie could have told her, 2, i could see her googling names to see who has good connections

      1. Sirksome

        Did I miss a bonus strip that established that the Walkertons were rich? I mean Sal had to buy a used 3ds with saved up gift cards. Meanwhile Jennifer just has a credit card cause her parents give her money instead of attention.

        1. Doopyboop

          Sal is also the unfavorite kid and Sal is also such an independent character that I don’t think she’d want her mom to buy her a 3DS. I don’t think she realized she wanted one until she got a chance to play Danny’s. I wouldn’t peg the Walkerton’s as wealthy either, but I do think they’re on the upper side of middle class, and maybe moreso have connections, which Raidah would view as useful.

        2. Archieve

          I’m still not convinced they have any connections besides Linda’s ex husband and radiah has a parent who she said can terminate Sarah’s scholarship if they wanted so im not sure what advantage a connection with the deans ex wife could bring her that her own family can’t.

  19. Suet

    Being a social climber also means that people like Walky would be stepped on to get up the social ladder, if successful. Not before a round of gratuitous pandering anway, hoo hoo.

    Walky, en garde. Dorothy, get some strings, and don’t set the launch code as 00000000.

    1. UrsulaDavina

      It’s better then 12345 that’s a combo some idiot would have on their luggage.

      1. zee

        …I’d that a bad guys reference? I’m sorry i just watched that movie last night and it’s at the front of my mind

        1. thakoru

          I’m pretty sure it’s from Spaceballs.

    2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      For many years the USAF *did* have the nuke passwords set to “0000000000.” No, really.

      1. UrsulaDavina

        It seems dumb but actually it kind of makes sense given the ability to launch quickly is essential part of nuclear deterrence and you have to launch missiles at the site. Still all you need is a Dr Strangelove situation and then it’s doomsday which actually the protocol in Dr.Strangelove was an actual protocol. Wow how did the human race not die during the cold war.

        1. Clif

          During the Cuban Missile Crisis only share unlikely dumb luck let us muddle through.

      2. Clif

        * sheer unlikely dumb luck

        Speaking of the early days with obvious numeric codes, nukes were constructed so that before they could be armed multiple people would have to enter and turn their special keys and only then could it be launched. But when one scared the bejesus out of everyone by arming itself there was a through review. Turned out that if you didn’t have someone and their key available you could bypass it by connecting the two ends of the switch with a paperclip. So the old system was replaced with something a lot more sophisticated and secure. And then we intentionally leaked the tech to the Russians so that their systems would be more secure as well.

        Why no, I can’t prove any of this.

      3. vulcanodon

        I always assumed the password would be something like 173467321476c32789777643t732v73117888732476789764376

      4. Mark

        Well, come on, who would actually believe they could have set it to all zeros? It’s certainly not the first thing anyone would try, or the hundredth. This could actually be clever.

        1. thakoru

          Unless you’re just brute forcing it, in which case it’s the first number you’ll try.

  20. DailyBrad

    I think that, among other things, Dorothy misses Walky because he’s got tremendous faith in her. Even Joyce doesn’t think Dorothy will be president as much as Walky does.

    https://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/02-i-was-a-teenage-churchmouse/sharedmoment/

    Walky doesn’t have any doubt she can do it, even while she’s experiencing a lot of self-doubt, herself.

    1. cbwroses

      I was just thinking that he still has such faith in her becoming president.

  21. Slartibeast Button, BIA

    Maybe she wants Walky around because having hot guys hanging out with you enhances your status?

    1. Yotomoe

      That’s probably also why she keeps Asher and Jennifer around. She’s keeping all the Hotties to herself.

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        Indiana Strategic Hotness Reserve?

  22. Yotomoe

    Listen just make sure she doesn’t start social climbing you.

    1. Sajuuk-Khar

      Fucking co-signed. I don’t want to see Raidah climb on anyone.

      1. zee

        I’m sure she’d be pretty cute if she got her hair tousled. Or at least let it fall forward a little

  23. Masumi

    Aw man, I dig how these two support and believe in each other. And share their insecurities. Despite all the difficult emotions floating around.

  24. Sajuuk-Khar

    Walky Reminds Dotty of the Good Times Until She Snaps and Blows Him In the Elevator: A Dumbing of Age Pornographique

    1. The Wellerman

      It’ll be in cartoon slow motion like the fight between Goku and Frieza in Dragon Ball Z ???

      1. Sajuuk-Khar

        Yes.

    2. Zaxares

      And then Joyce walks in the elevator. >:O

      1. Sajuuk-Khar

        That’s the immediate sequel, Joe and Joyce Walk Into An Elevator And The World’s Most Awkward Foursome Ensues: Another Dumbing of Age Pornographique

  25. BBCC

    It warms my heart that Walky continues to believe in Dorothy when she no longer believes in herself.

  26. Axel

    This is going to be a hard conversation for Dorothy; one of the first things about loving him that she explained was him believing in her (especially contrasted to Danny thinking she’ll give it up), and saying stuff like “when Dorothy’s president I’ll…”

    1. Alex

      What conversation?

      1. Axel

        the current one? or at least, the aftermath of the current one (pretending we haven’t already read the next page by now)

    2. Archieve

      Last term Walky was telling to Joe before class about how his future self would brag about getting with the President as students.

      1. Axel

        yes thanks. it was linked above
        https://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/02-i-was-a-teenage-churchmouse/sharedmoment/

  27. Risky

    Maybe you are just the link she needs to ensnare Dorothy, Walkerton boy.

  28. Sean Smith

    This is how Dorothy gets invited to breakfast isn’t it?

    1. Masumi

      Ouch no please no

  29. no name

    Doug from house of cards be like

    1. BOOSTER SHOT

      Uh oh. So who’s getting murdered on the oval office carpet in the final strip, and who is doing the murdering? I’m sad that Joyce will have to be killed off-screen in between the penultimate and ultimate storylines.

  30. Sombrero

    You read it here first: social climbing is overrated. Joe climbing is much better.

  31. vulcanodon

    I’ve worked for a guy who is a self-described career climber. And he’s a good guy, really, but blind spots about the status quo he always reflexively defends.

  32. Daibhid C

    Dorothy’s sad because all her college friends are people she actually likes, rather than people who want to use her but who she can use in turn, and who she would have been prepared to drop instantly when the letter arrived from Yale.

    Dorothy has issues.

    1. Archieve

      The problem is she gravitates towards people who could use her help in some way and who are honest like herself. I don’t think people like Radiah were even on Dorothy’s radar until the Jacob incident.

  33. morleuca

    So is Lucy going to see them talking and the obvious emotional connection they have and start the timer on either over-aggressively pushing Walky to commit faster than he wants to, or to having a freak out on Dorothy for perceived boyfriend thieving?

    1. zee

      I don’t think she cares about Dorothy, just Billie

  34. The Oracle

    Dorothy, just fuck him in the lobby. That’ll solve everything.

  35. ValdVin

    Dorothy says “Having something Raiders finds useful” with a certain understanding which bypasses Walky, at least for now.

    1. ValdVin

      Autocorrect to Raiders? Huh. I distinctly remember typing Roughriders.

  36. Gbz

    I’m not sure I’d want to be invited to breakfast because I was useful as opposed to, liked.

  37. Taffy

    “This” is ultimately just some people going to a place and eating some stuff. There’s not really a bigger picture to it.

    1. Clif

      The bigger picture is Raidah walking to class in front of Sarah with all the people that used to be her friends .

      Except Joyce for reasons.

      1. Taffy

        I’m sure Sarah’s gonna care a lot.

      2. zee

        Well Sarah never liked Billie, at all. And i think the only connection she has with walky and Lucy are being the only black kids in the friend group (minus sal)

  38. nightshade

    president dorothy with chief of staff becky lol

    1. Needfuldoer

      Press Secretary Rebecca MacIntyre would be a hit.

  39. Archieve

    Don’t worry Dorothy, I’m sure Radiah will try to turn you against Sarah and Joyce eventually.

Leave a Reply to Reltzik Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.