Yeah, late nite talk shows often talk about how they can say “ass” or “hole”, but if they combine them, it gets bleeped. “Cock” is another weird one they were making fun of the other night because of some school’s mascots: “fighting cocks” or something. Also why “$chitt’s Creek” always has to have the logo appear on screen when they say it. FCC rules are bizarre.
The hypocritical puritans really fucked up this country.
BarerMender
Oops. Flagged by mistake. When city people use country expressions, they always get them wrong. It isn’t “shit’s creek,” regardless of the spelling. It’s “shit crick.”
More bands need to run multiple vocalists with harmonies.
brionl
We’re up shit creek in a chicken-wire canoe!
BarerMender
Wordy
thejeff
Sometimes I like the extra wordiness for emphasis.
Ed Rhodes
Without a paddle!
Decidedly Orthogonal
I guess it was assumed since they didn’t mention it. ?
Librain
I personally like “Up shit creek without a canoe”
Stifyn Baker
The earliest extant reference to the phrase appeared in the transcript of the 1868 Annual report of the US Secretary of War, in a section that included reports from districts of South Carolina:
“Our men have put old Lincoln up shit creek.”
Wizard
Schitt’s Creek was originally produced and broadcast in Canada. In the US, it was only ever available via cable or streaming on Netflix. Since it was never broadcast over the air, the FCC had nothing to do with it. I could probably spend hours discussing the stupid crap the FCC actually has done (artificially limiting broadcasting licenses, the Fairness Doctrine, delaying cellular phone service for decades), but you can’t blame them for this one.
Eh, “damn” is considered fairly mild, but I suspect many would object to “goddamn” on the basis that it’s blasphemous. OTOH, I find the idea of people insulting each other as “***holes” hilarious, and I’d love to see it.
the mexican dub of drawn together was censored but in a way you could notice what the word censored was, so either it was malicious compliance or they thought the bleeps made the show funnier
I watching some of the original, hour-long episodes of Cheap Seats and some of the words they censored were ludicrous. Even more so, given that the Sklars’ subsequent dialog almost always gave away what word got bleeped.
One particular example was during (I think) the Mr. Universe episode where they were cracking on some guy’s backne. “That guy’s got a back *bleep* – a ‘bipple!‘”
Always have a towel at the ready. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you — daft as a brush, but very very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have “lost.” What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.
So be a hoopy frood and know where your towel is at all time!
She should stick it in her underwear. A pad is going to do precious little to shut up the sympathy brigade, and will do nothing for her period if put elsewhere.
I don’t see why should she? Sarah may be being unhelpful, but both Dorothy and Becky are honestly trying to help in a situation where she’s not even helping herself.
This is true…. but it also does smack a lot of period hormones and an outburst that wouldn’t have happened otherwise. I have to wonder if her response would be different if she wasnt actively bleeding out her body weight
Yoder of Kansas
See it from her perspective: You’re in pain. Three of your closest friends are being real noisy when you just want to be alone in quiet. They keep talking to you like you’re a child. They keep arguing amongst themselves and to you about how you need to act, just making more chaotic noise after noise and wont listen to you. I’d snap back too.
He’s said that he can’t. He said he just about maxed out the customizability as is. It’s fine, he’s said he doesn’t get any notification at all unless it hits a threshold that he’s adjusted. It’s not nearly as much of a problem as people who are accidentally clicking consistently think it is.
Needfuldoer
To be fair to them accidentally killing comments with reports was a problem, for the first few hours the feature was up.
Now it takes flags from something like 10 different users before a comment is disappeared into the moderation queue. Accidental reports look scarier than they actually are.
Decidedly Orthogonal
Maybe reduce the threatening sound of the report page then?
Like: “Thank you for flagging the comment. It has (or hasn’t yet) been nuked. But if multiple different users all flag it in a [secret algorithm], then it will be seriously considered.”
Decidedly Orthogonal
Ah, it’s not even that bad. Literally just says in standard black in background:
” Thank you for your feedback. We will look into it.”
But that’s practically what Joyce needs right now.
Derek
does she? the effects won’t fully kick in for another month at least, and this cycle is already shot
why the urgency to do it RIGHT THIS INSTANT?
Archieve
There is no good reason, Dorothy and Becky didn’t even want to bring the pill up as an option yesterday but now that Jennifer has helped Joyce it’s like their trying to reaffirm their territory as Joyce’s two best friends. Definatly comes off as possessive even if well meaning.
thejeff
I suspect they think that with crisis over, Joyce will just put off getting the prescription filled because she doesn’t want to buy the “hussy pills”.
And they might well be right.
Archieve
Maybe, maybe not, either way, there’s no real reason to gang up on her into going right this instant like she’s on a tight deadline. She needs some breathing room to come to decisions herself.
FR though, Joyce DOES need to get her meds or she’s gonna be in a lot more pain then she needs to be. They are right. However, I can definitely see why Joyce just isn’t in the mood for this. *I* can barely muster a giveafuck when I’m in that kinda pain or for about a week after too.
The no-flow BC shot. For most women it works several months per shot, and they have a warning period before ovulation so they know they’re fertile. I think it was Depo-Provera or summit like that.
That would entirely defeat any desire to avoid her being seen as getting them for sexual reasons. I get the desire for them to make more dramatic decisions, but I can’t see how she actually gets there on that one.
Granted it would be weird in this specific context. But Joe’s definitely established as someone who treats Joyce like more of an adult, and doesn’t come at her with overbearing concern or condescension. He snipes at her, yeah, but in a much more human way than these three. Even if they’re technically more polite, Joe’s the one treating her like a fellow human.
DailyBrad
I think that’s a bit harsh, but yeah, Joe’s less patronizing, sure, that much is true. Joe and Joyce have I think an innate understanding of where the other one is coming from in terms of guilt, just for very different reasons, obviously, and that lets them meet in the middle more.
147 thoughts on “Asshole”
Ana Chronistic
that’s why I keep a towel by my bed
…
ok I lied that’s not the reason BUT IT COULD BE
Ana Chronistic
real conversation:
“Back in the day, MTV would always censor it as ‘ass-****’, which didn’t make sense, because isn’t ‘ass’ the bad part?”
“Yeah, I thought that was weird when ‘goddamn’ would get censored as ‘***-damn’, like, isn’t ‘damn’ the bad word?”
“We’re just a few years out from ‘******-fucker'”
Cholma
Yeah, late nite talk shows often talk about how they can say “ass” or “hole”, but if they combine them, it gets bleeped. “Cock” is another weird one they were making fun of the other night because of some school’s mascots: “fighting cocks” or something. Also why “$chitt’s Creek” always has to have the logo appear on screen when they say it. FCC rules are bizarre.
The hypocritical puritans really fucked up this country.
BarerMender
Oops. Flagged by mistake. When city people use country expressions, they always get them wrong. It isn’t “shit’s creek,” regardless of the spelling. It’s “shit crick.”
Laura
*Plays George Carlin on the hacked muzak.*
Rayndel
Blink-182’s song based on George Carlin’s list. (It’s pretty much just those words repeated a few times)
Schpoonman
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnYjghF-gBE
More bands need to run multiple vocalists with harmonies.
brionl
We’re up shit creek in a chicken-wire canoe!
BarerMender
Wordy
thejeff
Sometimes I like the extra wordiness for emphasis.
Ed Rhodes
Without a paddle!
Decidedly Orthogonal
I guess it was assumed since they didn’t mention it. ?
Librain
I personally like “Up shit creek without a canoe”
Stifyn Baker
The earliest extant reference to the phrase appeared in the transcript of the 1868 Annual report of the US Secretary of War, in a section that included reports from districts of South Carolina:
“Our men have put old Lincoln up shit creek.”
Wizard
Schitt’s Creek was originally produced and broadcast in Canada. In the US, it was only ever available via cable or streaming on Netflix. Since it was never broadcast over the air, the FCC had nothing to do with it. I could probably spend hours discussing the stupid crap the FCC actually has done (artificially limiting broadcasting licenses, the Fairness Doctrine, delaying cellular phone service for decades), but you can’t blame them for this one.
Wizard
Eh, “damn” is considered fairly mild, but I suspect many would object to “goddamn” on the basis that it’s blasphemous. OTOH, I find the idea of people insulting each other as “***holes” hilarious, and I’d love to see it.
Ray
You didn’t watch the premiere of “Little Demon” this past week, did you??
Romanticide
the mexican dub of drawn together was censored but in a way you could notice what the word censored was, so either it was malicious compliance or they thought the bleeps made the show funnier
Freezer
I watching some of the original, hour-long episodes of Cheap Seats and some of the words they censored were ludicrous. Even more so, given that the Sklars’ subsequent dialog almost always gave away what word got bleeped.
One particular example was during (I think) the Mr. Universe episode where they were cracking on some guy’s backne. “That guy’s got a back *bleep* – a ‘bipple!‘”
Queezle
“Hey, you sass that hoopy Ana Chronisitc? There’s a frood who really knows where their towel is.”
Sorry I will show myself out.
Laura
Plus 10!
Decidedly Orthogonal
Ten? Naw mate. This here’s a Queezle. It goes up to eleven! That’s one higher innit.
Kazuma Taichi
Well if you say it like that, now I wanna know the reason you keep a towel by your bed
Ana Chronistic
for after sexy times
someone
Always have a towel at the ready. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you — daft as a brush, but very very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have “lost.” What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.
So be a hoopy frood and know where your towel is at all time!
The Wellerman
YEAH JOYCE!!!! Stick it to ’em!!!
Decidedly Orthogonal
She should stick it in her underwear. A pad is going to do precious little to shut up the sympathy brigade, and will do nothing for her period if put elsewhere.
Pylgrim
I don’t see why should she? Sarah may be being unhelpful, but both Dorothy and Becky are honestly trying to help in a situation where she’s not even helping herself.
C.T. Phipps
Just get Joyce her birth control, Dotty. Becky knows her birthday.
alongcameaspider
I dont think that’s a good idea now that she’s specifically said she doesn’t want their help
shanunu
This is true…. but it also does smack a lot of period hormones and an outburst that wouldn’t have happened otherwise. I have to wonder if her response would be different if she wasnt actively bleeding out her body weight
Yoder of Kansas
See it from her perspective: You’re in pain. Three of your closest friends are being real noisy when you just want to be alone in quiet. They keep talking to you like you’re a child. They keep arguing amongst themselves and to you about how you need to act, just making more chaotic noise after noise and wont listen to you. I’d snap back too.
DailyBrad
Eh, Sarah might have the right idea. Coddling her right now is maybe not the best idea. Certainly doesn’t seem like she’d appreciate it much.
John Campbell
It’s a problem because Joyce’s birthday is May 5th, 20??.
Also, you really gotta move that “Flag” link, Willis.
Devin
He’s said that he can’t. He said he just about maxed out the customizability as is. It’s fine, he’s said he doesn’t get any notification at all unless it hits a threshold that he’s adjusted. It’s not nearly as much of a problem as people who are accidentally clicking consistently think it is.
Needfuldoer
To be fair to them accidentally killing comments with reports was a problem, for the first few hours the feature was up.
Now it takes flags from something like 10 different users before a comment is disappeared into the moderation queue. Accidental reports look scarier than they actually are.
Decidedly Orthogonal
Maybe reduce the threatening sound of the report page then?
Like: “Thank you for flagging the comment. It has (or hasn’t yet) been nuked. But if multiple different users all flag it in a [secret algorithm], then it will be seriously considered.”
Decidedly Orthogonal
Ah, it’s not even that bad. Literally just says in standard black in background:
” Thank you for your feedback. We will look into it.”
Derek
that’s literally the opposite of what Joyce wants right now
Rabisch
But that’s practically what Joyce needs right now.
Derek
does she? the effects won’t fully kick in for another month at least, and this cycle is already shot
why the urgency to do it RIGHT THIS INSTANT?
Archieve
There is no good reason, Dorothy and Becky didn’t even want to bring the pill up as an option yesterday but now that Jennifer has helped Joyce it’s like their trying to reaffirm their territory as Joyce’s two best friends. Definatly comes off as possessive even if well meaning.
thejeff
I suspect they think that with crisis over, Joyce will just put off getting the prescription filled because she doesn’t want to buy the “hussy pills”.
And they might well be right.
Archieve
Maybe, maybe not, either way, there’s no real reason to gang up on her into going right this instant like she’s on a tight deadline. She needs some breathing room to come to decisions herself.
BBCC
Oh Jesus yeah. And THEN get out of her ass!
FR though, Joyce DOES need to get her meds or she’s gonna be in a lot more pain then she needs to be. They are right. However, I can definitely see why Joyce just isn’t in the mood for this. *I* can barely muster a giveafuck when I’m in that kinda pain or for about a week after too.
Stephen Bierce
That Zappa-scalated quickly.
Needfuldoer
“I’m the slime”?
Needfuldoer
Wrong fluid to get all over the sofa sofa.
Sirksome
Cursed by her own original sin or hubris or whatever that story she used to believe was the reason women have periods as a punishment by god!
Leorale
I just wrote out the story and it was very amusing but the internet ate it.
IMO, for thousands of years, patriarchs were mad at Eve for sharing.
(Not a common interpretation. I’m sticking with it though.)
Johan
It’s worse when it audibly gurgles out.
*Sigh*
Pinkie
I’d get surprises at work a lot – just standing there trying to act nonchalant about the blood trickling down my leg.
Then I got vaccinated against babies.
Laura
Yup. That happened on my first day of the internship that later became my job. D-:
What a mess…
Johan
First day of college orientation I bled through my period panties and filled up 2 pads
I figured I’d that was the worst day I ever had on campus I’ll be fine for classes.
Taffy
Vaccinated against babies wtf ?
Opus the Poet
The no-flow BC shot. For most women it works several months per shot, and they have a warning period before ovulation so they know they’re fertile. I think it was Depo-Provera or summit like that.
bhtooefr
…I’m reminded that in German, oral contraceptives are literally called antibabypillen.
tunasammich
Using menstrual cups + period underwear has been a godsend for stopping this
DailyBrad
I love Joyce, I do, but for an ex-Christian, she can’t hop down from her cross fast enough.
brute
yes, thank you, you put it into words better than i could
Hazel
I am far too familiar with the face made in panel four. Thank science for my own hussy pills.
Lexi
Yuppp, that is definitely the expression of “A giant clot just fell out of my vagina and I hate everything.”
Reaver
She put too much force behind those words, the cannon was fired…!
RIP Her pants.
Suet
The ebb and flow of Joyce’s situation is a sight to behold.
Get her birthdate, stat.
*plays the riff of Marrow by St. Vincent*
Blibdoolpoolp
Angry Ass-Joyce, I never thought I’d see the day.
RassilonTDavros
GO JOYCE, IT’S YA BIRTHDAY that they want, so don’t give it to them
I had been hoping for Dorothy to go with her, but honestly I think I’m leaning towards Joe now.
Devin
That would entirely defeat any desire to avoid her being seen as getting them for sexual reasons. I get the desire for them to make more dramatic decisions, but I can’t see how she actually gets there on that one.
Jon
Granted it would be weird in this specific context. But Joe’s definitely established as someone who treats Joyce like more of an adult, and doesn’t come at her with overbearing concern or condescension. He snipes at her, yeah, but in a much more human way than these three. Even if they’re technically more polite, Joe’s the one treating her like a fellow human.
DailyBrad
I think that’s a bit harsh, but yeah, Joe’s less patronizing, sure, that much is true. Joe and Joyce have I think an innate understanding of where the other one is coming from in terms of guilt, just for very different reasons, obviously, and that lets them meet in the middle more.
newlland(Henryvolt)
Not only cursing but being creatively vulgar about it, she’s come a long way.
The Wellerman