211

A thing
Posted on September 11, 2018 by David M Willis

211 thoughts on “A thing”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    I see no flaws in this plan

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      No way a plan like this could possibly lead to fail.

      1. Diner Kinetic

        Dina is totally going to mention it; because those eyes clearly indicate some degree of concern at the very least

        1. Clif

          Dina keeps Ambers secrets.

        2. thejeff

          Nah, she’s just suspicious of Walky’s sincerity about dinosaurs.

    2. Aeron

      Also no witnesses.

  2. Doctor_Who

    Spider-Man came out three days ago, so this kinda sounds like the perfect date to me right now too.

    1. HeySo

      “Spider-Man came out three days ago”

      I mean, it’s about time. His anxiety over his repression had gotten to the point to where he decided he needed to make a deal with the devil just to get rid of his wife, so hopefully now he’ll be able to start making better life choices.

      1. Regalli

        Peter/Johnny Storm 4ever. (I also accept Peter/Deadpool. Actually I accept a lot of Peter ships, and want Mephisto near none of them.)

        1. HeySo

          “Actually I accept a lot of Peter ships, and want Mephisto near none of them.”

          Word.

          Though, growing up on 90s Animated Spider-Man, I still have trouble imagining him with anyone other’n Black Cat. Peterpool is pretty darn excellent, though.

        2. HeySo

          Oh, and I dig the dynamic the original Spider-Man had with Gwen in Ultimate. But Ultimate got really darn random (Spoiler) after a while, so I gave up on any meaningful consistent developments in any of the Ultimate serieses.

          Spider-Gwen is a pretty great continuation of that sort of self-confident, intelligent, strong-willed Gwen character-type, though. (And she’s the lead, which is even better, ’cause more Gwen.) Haven’t figured out a good ship there yet, though. Though if Marvel Rising’s webisodes are any indication, perhaps Kamala Khan (AKA Ms. Marvel).

        3. Adam Black

          Gwen Stacy … awesome
          Ultimate Gwen Stacy I LOVVE HER

          Clone Gwen Stacies ( original clone saga … needs to die a in fire
          ) Clone Gwen Stacy New clone saga ( Meh. dont hate her )

          Mattie Frankin First Female Spiderman ( how dare you I say, How friggoin dare you. I was collecting her, the Gathering of Five, Ugh misogynist pricks

          Arana ( shrug ? )

          Cindy Moon, Silk ythe New spiderwoman OY My God I lover her forver.
          Shge is th coolest and now I am finally finally over Mary Jane and One more day.

          Spider-Gwen ( huh? what? ) why doesa this charaxter even exist?
          why us she wearinf a hood? ( peripheral vision? ) why is she called spider Gwen? dieas she does not understand the secret part of secret identities.

          Look, we have Cindy Moon, have you read Cindy Moon/ silk? why not Spider Uncle Ben Next? This is just a wish fulfillment conspiracy to hurt a POC spiderwoman with connections to deep lore . Why we are at it, why not Mary Jane, supersoldier? …

          ( Pause while we ALL consider how much we NEEED “Mary Jane, Agent of shield, super soldier” not just the comics but in the show! ) ….

          i still want it

          …

          then SpiderGwen can screw off to her own universe, and Mary jane, The Black Cat and Silk do Team Ups.

          then the ” spiderBites”go and rescue Mayday Parker from Mephisto , who has been holding her sole prisoner ( duh! ) , then Peter has to stay home with the baby while the girls go out and kick ass.

        4. thejeff

          IIRC, Spider-Gwen was only the name of the comic, not actually the character’s in-world name. She was actually an alternate universe Spider-Woman, but there was already Spider-Woman in the main universe.
          I think she’s going by Ghost-Spider now.

        5. SgtWadeyWilson

          I know you’re kidding, but I think there’s been at least one Spider Uncle Ben already, just not any high-profile long-lasting ones.

        6. HeySo

          Yeah, jeff is correct about Spider-Gwen’s naming. Also, she only wears a hood and no mask in the current Marvel’s Spider-Man TV series, I believe; Everywhere else I’ve ever seen her, she wears her trademark white mask under her white hoodie-like outfit. I kinda get the feeling you haven’t really looked into her much up till now so, let me recommend that you go look up the Marvel Rising webisodes, since they’re quick to watch and easy to find, and give a decent glimpse into the character.

        7. SgtWadeyWilson

          As much as that’d be good to read, and good for Wade, I really wouldn’t wish that kind of toxic relationship material on Peter. Unless we’re talking movie Deadpool. He’s good enough for 616 Spidey.

          Johnny can light up Pete’s life much better anyway.

        8. HeySo

          Actually, as far as I can both recall and google, Wade has been shown to be devoted and tender and loyal and sensitive and just all-around-decent in all of his romantic relationships, for all his usual abusive, self-destructive, insane behaviors. Peter, on the other hand, has been shown as self-absorbed, slightly misogynistic, womanizing, and just generally not mature enough to handle any relationship. The degree of emphasis has of course depended on which writer was doing which character at what time, but there’s nevertheless a pretty solid pattern for both characters (outside of alt versions of Peter, of course, which have consistently been better in character, but typically even more immature at handling relationships [though that’s fair, seeing as they’re typically much younger] ).

          Of course, a lot of Peter’s problems are due to how old the character is, just like how early Superman was (in a manner similar to Bugs Bunny) racist. There’ve been a lot of improvements in more recent years, but then you’ve got stuff like the Mephisto debacle to work through and.. well, it seems like it takes a lot more to be able to maintain a relationship with Peter, in any case. 😛

        9. SgtWadeyWilson

          I was more referring to how DP actually tends to treat Spidey, but you do have a point. Wade’s abusive tendencies are usually exclusively aimed at “friends,” so if he saw Pete as a real love interest that would probably not be a factor.

        10. jothki

          I dunno, you have to wonder about Mephisto’s motivations for unmaking Peter’s marriage. Could there be something more to that?

        11. thejeff

          It was years ago and nothing’s come of it. Deus ex Machina, plot device. Editorial wanted it, Mephisto was how they chose to wave their hands.

          Which doesn’t mean someone won’t retcon in some devious Mephisto plot at some future date, of course.

        12. HeySo

          Honestly, ego-mad as it is for any one fanboy to insist on a huge narrative shift at the expense of narrative solely to make the narrative better suit their own personal tastes, I could totally accept that.

          The problem was that they used such a nonsensical approach to things. I mean, if there’d been more weight to it- if they were trading to save a soul, for example- then the narrative would have had merit. But as it was presented, it was all very shallow and tasteless, which only emphasized the fact that the change was made exclusively for petty reasons.

        13. HeySo

          Only the first ‘any’ should have been italicized, not sure what happened there with the rest of it.

      2. Delicious Taffy

        That never happened, and everything is Fine.

    2. Jon Rich

      Wait, what happened?

      1. HeySo

        Nesting is so hard to follow in these comments. If that was in reply to my comment about Mephisto, well..

        “Marvel Comics editor-in-chief Joe Quesada felt dissolving the Peter Parker and Mary Jane marriage and returning Spider-Man to his roots was necessary to preserve the longevity of the character for the next 20 or 30 years.” “..Due to Quesada’s known dislike of Mary Jane and Peter Parker’s marriage..”
        “During the course of the story’s development, Quesada claims that he and Straczynski made plans to resurrect Gwen Stacy alongside Harry Osborn in the final chapter. This plot twist was discarded after numerous Marvel editors and writers lobbied for the character to remain dead.”
        “Quesada [..] said every story that happened in the Spider-Man canon still “counted”, with the only change being that, due to the world’s newly revised memories, Peter and Mary Jane did not marry due to some unknown incident and the official unmasking of his identity to the public during the 2007 Civil War mini-series has been forgotten.”

        Hover here for a more-detailed spoiler.

        In any case, the reasoning behind and implementation of the change ticked off Spider-Man fans, fans of decent writing, and everyone who takes issues with women existing in comics solely as vehicles for reflecting male protagonists. Quesadilla’s arguments for the change were pretty nonsensical and contradictory, as well, so it seems it was done mostly out of personal vendetta against the old marriage storyline, which he personally disfavored (along with his desire to have an unchanging, ungrowing (and presumably immortal) hero for another few decades, within the ever-temporally-progressing mainstream universe).

        As far as I know, just about noone actually found the change to be well thought out or well implemented, so the ill-favored storyline has become a pretty widely spread jest at the character’s expense.

        1. HeySo

          Oh, to add to that spoiler..

        2. Inahc

          “Hover here for a more-detailed spoiler.”

          Unless you’re on mobile, in which case you just can’t read it at all. (Yes I have a computer today, but in a couple of days I won’t have access to it for a week and a half.) 😛

        3. HeySo

          I’d still rather force someone to google the information, than risk troubling someone with insensitivity. :X

          Besides, can’t you usually dig it out of the page source on mobile? Takes a bit more effort, of course, but I recall that being a feasible workaround.

        4. Inahc

          Mobile Firefox only lets me view the entire page’s source, not a selection, although it does have a search feature. This means I first have to load the whole page in Firefox, though – I can’t do it from the WebView of my rss app.

          But if you rot13 your spoilers, people can use a plugin to view it or just paste it into rot13.com – and then it’s also safe for rss apps that sometimes show the raw html. 🙂 (My app showed formatted html for your first comment, and raw html for the second. I have no idea why.)

          .. although now that I think about it, loading Firefox to paste into rot13.com might not be much less effort than loading Firefox to view the page’s source. Hrm.

          I wish mobile browsers would just implement something that lets me fake hovering.

  3. Nono

    As a poor person, the most beautiful words are “Oh don’t worry, I’ll pay.”

  4. William Leonard Reese Jr.

    *groans* Oh lord this can only end in disaster.

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      We’re all sort of split on weather or not this hole pairing going to work out well, and there will be a fair share of complications to overcome here, especially if you consider panel #2. But I’m not really all that worried.

      And hey Walky said it himself once; “All Relationships are sort of screwed up in a way.”

      1. Alanari

        Add panel 4 to the list. If your partner is failing in math and proposes to study, you encourage it. Amber is encouraging his procrastination. Walky likes that, of course, but it is a really bad idea.

        1. thejeff

          Hey, they’re garbage. Why bother trying to be more?

        2. Alanari

          Because they aren’t 12 anymore and the real world doesn’t work like that?

        3. thejeff

          Of course it doesn’t, but it’s their attitude and they’re reinforcing it in each other.
          This relationship started on garbage roof. It’s still in that headspace.

        4. Alanari

          True

  5. Cheesy1

    “Especially the ‘Fuck’ part!”

  6. Terrh

    Dina blends into the background so well she doesn’t even get a Tag…

    1. miados

      That’s because she is able to stand perfectly still and thus become invisible.

      1. Abbefaria

        I don’t see Dina…all I see is a raptor stalking her prey. 😀

      2. MatthewTheLucky

        *eats snack*

  7. Madock345

    I want to see Walky have to choose between Sloth and Gluttony.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Ah, the classic “I’m hungry, but too tired to get up” vs. “I’m exhausted, but must rouse myself to get food” dilemma.

      Or as I call it, Sunday Morning.

      1. alice

        more like, sunday afternoon am i right

    2. Marsh Maryrose

      It’s possible to choose only one? Why was I not informed of this?

    3. Emily

      This is basically what depression meals are: you want to eat your feelings but you don’t have the energy to cook so you end up eating like half a jar of peanut butter with a spoon.

      1. Knayt

        Or you have the energy to cook, but you don’t have ingredients, and the store is like, a whole mile away.

    4. Deanatay

      “Ugh. Can someone just come over here and put food in my mouth? Thanks. I’ll tell you when to stop.”

  8. ShinyNeen

    Oh, okay, it’s a secret relationship? Amber’s second, depending on how Danny/AG counts? But, uh, I don’t get why they’d keep it a secret. General insecurities? Hiding it from Danny and/or Dorothy?

    1. Madock345

      Probably because they worry about hurting their very recent ex’s by getting together so quickly.

    2. Ivy

      Just being stupid drama queens

    3. BBCC

      Maybe just not ready to jump into telling people?

      In other words, it’s one more complication on this relationship.

    4. Clif

      Hiding it from Mike. Because Amber knows Mike too well.

      1. Regalli

        … Yeah if Mike realizes they’re dating he will actually destroy them. They can never hang out in Walky’s room, ever.

  9. Stephen Bierce

    And they’ll have Fun Fun Fun
    Till his sister takes the players away…

    1. saltchocolate

      Yep

  10. Ryek Hvek

    Go for it, you lovebirds.

  11. Tandel

    Poor Dina, looking increasingly miffed about being shunted to the background.

    She’s grown so much!

    1. Delicious Taffy

      No, she’s still pretty short.

  12. Kernanator

    Hahaha, this is going to end in fire.

    1. King Daniel

      A garbage fire, mind.

      1. MatsuoTanuki

        It’ll be the most entertaining dumpster fire we’ve ever witnessed.

      2. 3oranges

        So you’re saying that even after all Dorothy’s efforts, it’s Amber who becomes president?

        1. Clif

          Amber’s the one who could probably take her finals and ace them right now. Dorothy’s the one whose struggling. Still, it’s Amazigirl who should be president, punching people who need punching and then pardoning herself.

        2. Alanari

          We know amber knows a lot about computer stuff. I’m not sure about her other classes.

        3. SgtWadeyWilson

          …but she does know enough about computer stuff to pass her other classes. *Wink wink.*

        4. Clif

          She had to change Walky’s grades, not hers.

        5. SgtWadeyWilson

          …but on the other hand, she already knew how.

        6. Megz

          In one of the Mike flashbacks, it’s shown that she’s very good at math too. So much so that her (very bongoy and totally had a relationship with a student) teacher thought she was cheating because “how could a girl be so good at math”. If anything, I think Amber will be able to tutor Walky a lot better then the last two folks who tried because she could probably figure out a better way to teach Walky then them.

        7. thejeff

          She may also not be taking as ambitious a course load.

        8. BBCC

          Yeah, this. Dorothy’s explicitly taking a heavy course load and aiming for immaculate grades on that course load because she wants Yale’s attention. Amber’s never given any indication she’s aiming to take hard classes.

      3. Plasma Mongoose

        Is Burnable Trash their shipping name now?

        1. King Daniel

          Garbage Skowl is one of the long-runners.

        2. cbwroses

          SS Garbage Skowl

        3. Clif

          I like Diner Kinetic’s Garbage Barge. Garbage Skowl sounds like a facial expression or a piece of clothing. Garbage Barge almost alliterates and almost rhymes. It’s fun to say.

          Garbage Barge forever.

        4. cbwroses

          It’s supposed to sound like a facial expression, a combination of Skow and Scowl (though admittedly the person who came up with it had simply made a typo originally).

        5. Jon S.

          Considering that garbage is shipped on a scow, not a skow, yes, that’s a tpo, all right. 🙂

          Amazi-Walk, perhaps?

  13. DailyBrad

    Cute, if foreboding. Which would be a good subtitle for this webcomic in fucking general.

    1. Kitty Rivera

      LMAO! Oh god why is that so true?

  14. Yotomoe

    Relationship goals.

  15. DailyBrad

    It did make me smile that Walky called Sal cool. Like, I dunno, I’m glad their relationship has improved considerably since they’ve come to college, even if it’s still got its lumps.

  16. Passchendaele

    my ideal relationship. ;-;

    1. saltchocolate

      I mean, it’s weird! He and Amber are well-suited for each other, in terms of common interests, but reinforce each other’s indifference to self-improvement. Walky and Dorothy have much less in common, in their baseline m.o.’s, but they stretched each other in some good ways (at least to a point—Dotty was being stretched too thin, so to speak). I feel kinda like Walky, myself, about this: I know I’m *supposed* to want the couple that goes to art museums and interesting lunch places together, but what I *actually* want is the couple that really enjoys goofing off together.

      I’m in it for the garbage. Heavy sigh.

      1. Regalli

        There’s nothing wrong with low-key ‘let’s just hang out’ dates if that’s what you want, either as a rule or as an occasional thing! (May not be the best choice for a first date with someone you don’t know, but that’s a general ‘don’t let someone into your living space until you’ve had a substantial conversation and know they aren’t already naming your future children’ rule)

        The problem is more Amber being willing to ‘help’ Walky by doing illegal things without his permission, and Walky not knowing about Amber’s substantial issues including Sal’s role in them. Also they both hate themselves A LOT and don’t seem to realize how worrisome that degree of self-loathing is. (If the secretbomb doesn’t do them in, I could see ‘I worry about how much you hate yourself!’ ‘It doesn’t matter, we’re Garbage!’ being a thing, but the narrative weight of the secretbomb guarantees it’ll probably happen first.) Like, at least Ruth and Billie started their relationship proper with ‘let’s destroy ourselves TOGETHER!’

        But yeah, I worry about a LOT with them and I wish they had started this relationship after the secretbomb had gone off and each gotten some form of help to start dealing with their issues. They could be really good for each other later, but I don’t think they’re there yet now.

        1. Regalli

          Oh, also Walky doesn’t know that Amber stabbed Sal after she was in custody, much less that her alter – who he also doesn’t know about – stalked Sal. The contributory factors might mean either or both Walkertons eventually forgive her, but you are absolutely allowed to break up with someone after they hurt your sibling like that because you’re upset for your sibling. The previous comment implied it was only an issue of Sal traumatizing Amber, but Amber traumatizing Sal is also a big deal and part of why I think the secretbomb will destroy them.

        2. cbwroses

          Wally knows about Amazi-girl and that Amber is her.
          He does not know that the personalities are separating, tho.

        3. Regalli

          I distinguish between ‘knows AG’s identity’ and ‘knows that Amber and AG are alters sharing a body and not the same person’. It blew up the relationship with Danny, it needs to be considered a complicating factor.

        4. saltchocolate

          Oh lord that’s right.

          There are so many problems bubbling in this one pressure-cooker of a dorm, I don’t know if they’ll find the bones in the rubble after the collective bomb goes off. Which we know Willis is going to make happen. He will do that to us.

    2. Keulen

      I would be ok with having a girlfriend who wanted to play video games instead of fancy dates. Actually, I’d be ok with just having a girlfriend.

  17. AnvilPro

    Honestly Walky and Amber might be the first time in this comic I’ve ever been really invested in a couple, like, they seem like they’re actually good for each other and could last in the long run

    1. Deathjavu

      Good for each other when they’re both enabling their worst coping mechanism (avoidance)? I don’t see it.

      1. GenJen

        Sometimes growth doesn’t come from some big dramatic confrontation. Sometimes growth comes from little baby steps.
        Walky being in another relationship after thinking he lost the only person who’d ever like someone like him is growth. Amber not stabbing Walky after realizing that he’s twins with her big red panic button is progress! Like, obviously it’s causing anxiety but she’s not shutting him out and running away.

    2. Diner Kinetic

      I wonder why Garbage Barge works so well, from a writing perspective? Like, this is maybe the third ship in any fiction I’ve really cared about (walky and dorothy was another but only because it was just like my irl relationship in weirdly, alarmingly specific ways; and I like the chemistry of this one much more), so I’m legit curious to see what people think- is it cuz walky and Amber are such popular and oft-featured characters with substantial screen time, the transgressive appeal of their reckless dating, because Sal threatening the relationship early on led to people becoming more protective of it, or something else? I initially joined the comments section *just* to talk about the garbage barge, and I wanna know how Willis manipulated me into doing so

      1. Inahc

        I didn’t even want this ship, but I’m really enjoying it anyways 🙂

      2. CJ

        Maybe because we all dislike doing things in a relationship that are not our idea of fun but think we have to do them to impress our partner?

      3. Llamita

        I think it is that Amber has many issues (like the thing with the mask and so much frustration) but Walky isn’t like judgmental or I want to help even if you don’t want, he just, is there, in his goofy way, and make Amber happy (or like he is supportive with the avengers slash). There are so much things that could and will go wrong, but I think the thing is how both make happy to the other with the way they are (and loving and acepting the worst of thw other (or what they can see at least)

        1. Clif

          Why does Garbage Barge work so well and (mostly) makes us root for the relationship? Personally I blame good writing and skillful storytelling.

    3. Bill Egbert

      Am I the only one who thinks it’s not bad to be in a relationship where you just enjoy spending time with one another doing things you both enjoy without forcing yourself to change yourself which of course never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER works?

      I mean, yes, it would be bad if they both abandoned their entire lives and educations to spend time doing nothing, but that would apply if they abandoned their entire lives to go to art museums too. And it has yet to be shown that either of them are going to abandon everything else for this relationship – not even Walky has been demonstrated as doing that. (His scholastic problems were always separate from his relationships and attempting to exploit the relationship to fix them didn’t work anyway.)

      1. thejeff

        No, they’re separate and exploiting the relationship to fix them didn’t work, but encouraging him to slack off ain’t going to help.

  18. Irredentist

    THE PERFECT SHIP

    1. Clif

      Sail on, garbage barge, sail on.

  19. RicardtheDragoon

    Now I have visions of some four player racing action between Danny, Sal, Walky, and Amber. I wonder if Amber or Sal would win more often.

    1. Tacos

      The easiest way to ruin relationships is to get Blue Shell’d in Mario Kart. Probably not a good idea to get these 4 playing a racing game together.

      1. Regalli

        I see your Mario Kart and raise you Mario Party.

      2. SgtWadeyWilson

        Four player racing games break relationships, but four player action RPGs build relationships. What’s the popular dungeon crawler these days?

      3. Knayt

        Spoken like someone who hasn’t played nearly enough social deception games (or better yet, strategy games with a nice heaping of social deception).

        1. Clif

          What kind of social deception games do you recommend?

        2. Clif

          I mean other than Werewolf.

        3. cbwroses

          Secret hitler?

  20. butts

    Walky would you PLEASE learn to pay more attention to faces

    1. Pope William T Wodium

      It is perfectly reasonable for him to think Amber is making that face merely because Sal was shouty and derisive last night.

      1. Fart Captor

        Yeah, he DID pay attention to Amber’s face, and correctly identified she felt nervous regarding Sal. He’s only wrong about why, though his guess is the most logical explanation given what he currently knows

  21. Tacos

    OK, what about “All-You-Can-Eat McNuggets”?

  22. newllend(henryvolt)

    Yeah Walky your probably going to haft to readjust your routine now that you have a girlfriend who doesn’t have insanely high standards.

    1. ShinyNeen

      He really was thinking of Dorothy with those plans, huh? I want to say that’s cute, but also they only broke up two days ago so I dunno maybe it’s weird instead.

      1. newllend(henryvolt)

        To be fair in the DoA Story line Dorothy was like his first girlfriend ever right? So I I guess this is just him learning that not all girls are the same even if some of them do share a similar taste and appearance.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Now, when you say “taste”….?

        2. thejeff

          Not even just “thinking of Dorothy”, but thinking of traditional formal date plans. Well, the studying is probably Dorothy’s influence (on top of his own continuing worries) – though that’s still supposedly a common thing to do.

          I don’t recall Dorothy ever mentioning art museums and their dating started with watching cartoons. Did they ever even do any real “date” kind of things on panel?

        3. BBCC

          I believe they went to dinner twice – once with their families and once with Dorothy’s gift card (which they invited Sal to but she didn’t want to go because she was worried about being turned into Dorothy’s next project).

        4. thejeff

          I wouldn’t really call the family thing a “date”.

        5. BBCC

          Fair enough, though I’ve brought my boyfriend along with my family sometimes and I considered that a date so I thought I’d throw it in.

          They also went shopping (and bought him new shoes). Other than that, nothing jumps to mind.

    2. jmsr7

      Are we sure about that? Isn’t Amazi-Girl basically Batman? i.e. trains constantly to be the best at everything?

      Although now that i think about it, she does spend a lot of time killing spiders.

      1. BBCC

        Sal’s the one Walky considers ‘basically Batman’.

        And Batman’s hardly the best at everything. Off the top of my head I can think of three people who are smarter and at least one who’s better at martial arts.

        1. Amazi-Stool

          He still needs to train to be best at everything.

          EVERYTHING.

  23. Bagge

    Living the dream

  24. Achallenger

    He would make such a lovely fairy King

    1. JessWitt

      A Midsummer Night’s Walky.

      1. Bagge

        You sure? Because I always pictured him as the dude that gets turned into a donkey.

        1. wwwhhattt

          That character’s name was Bottom, which possibly suggests that the Bard is the original victim of Butts Disease?

        2. Bagge

          There are some data that corroborates your hypothesis.

          GLENDOWER: I say the earth did shake when I was born . . . .
          The heavens were all on fire, the earth did tremble.
          HOTSPUR: O, then the earth shook to see the heavens on fire
          And not in fear of your nativity.
          Diseased nature oftentimes breaks forth
          In strange eruptions. Oft the teeming earth
          Is with a kind of colic pinched and vexed
          By the imprisoning of unruly wind
          Within her womb, which for enlargement striving
          Shakes the old beldam earth and topples down
          Steeples and moss-grown towers. At your birth
          Our grandma earth, having this distemperature,
          In passion shook.

          Translation: As the website Shakesyear puts it, “The earth farted when you were born.”

          http://ultragross.blogspot.com/2011/04/fart-jokes-of-william-shakespeare.html

        3. JessWitt

          I won’t argue Walky can’t be Bottom, because butt-taco.

        4. Rabid Rabbit

          There’s a scene in Macbeth where Macbeth’s seeing a ghost that’s invisible to everyone else, and his wife is trying to get him under control. Among her lines is “Why do you make such faces? When all’s done, you look but on a stool.”

          There are some critics who think that “faces” would have been pronounced pretty similarly to “feces” at the time. So yeah, poop jokes even in the middle of really serious, dramatic scenes.

        5. Arian

          Bottom ended up with the head of an ass, and that *was* a deliberate pun by Shakespeare

        6. Bagge

          Of course it was. Sometimes he was subtle, sometimes… not

  25. Diner Kinetic

    This is such a cute strip; and also very indicative of my romantic life, actually

  26. BBCC

    Awwww!

    Also, it’s super cute to see Walky say those things about Sal considering they were arguing last night.

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      Siblings, I for one rarely squabble with my brother nowadays and even when we do we eventually make up by the end of the day.

      1. BBCC

        You have a much nicer experience with siblings than I do.

        I mean, that’s pretty accurate with me and my brother but my parents and their siblings…no. Just no.

  27. Deadjolras

    Dina and I are making the exact same face right now.

    1. Clif

      Face sharing is the new trend. In saving face.

  28. ADLegend21

    That is the BIGGEST of Moods Walky!

  29. JessWitt

    I expected Walky to move on with Lucy myself but time will tell.

  30. Mr. Random

    Yeah, my initial assessment seems spot-on.
    Walky’s good for Amber.
    Amber’s kinda not the best for Walky.
    …Though that could still change.

    1. Clif

      She’s been great for his grades so far.

  31. Dave

    Honestly, my first thought is that it must feel nice to be with someone that likes just pajamas-and-chill after being with a go-go-go A-Type like Dorothy.

    1. HentMas

      OH! hello Dave! Selkie fan here, nice to see you

      1. Dave

        Hiya, yeah I recognize your user name, nice to run into you!

  32. CJ

    This was nearly no freak out about Sal being mentioned. Is getting used to the idea of Sal as Amber, too?
    I still wonder about AG with the yellow mask…

    1. Fart Captor

      I don’t think this is evidence of any progress on that front. If I’m remembering correctly, she hasn’t had anyone mentioning Sal to her before like this to compare her reaction against. It’s always been Sal’s actual presence that set off her PTSD

      1. thejeff

        And she does get twitchy about it.

  33. Fart Captor

    I think Amber’s smile in panel 1 is one of my favorites, she’s at her most huggable

  34. Poofdepoof

    Watching how well this is going so far, it’s surprising me that Dorothy and Walky were so good with each other for so long…

    1. BenRG

      Maybe Walky has an intrinsic talent for being the man his significant other needs him to be?

      1. Bagge

        Yes.

        In fact, Walky does quite a lot of mirroring where he presents what people want to see. He is good at reading people, he is good at presenting different aspects and playing a part (I can’t imagine his mother enforcing that trait in any way…).

        For example, I sincerely doubt Amber HAD to prime him in dinosaur lore for him to present to Dina what she wanted to hear.

        (of course – what he present most of the time is “i’m a stupid slob, don’t take notice of me”)

        1. Rabid Rabbit

          That’s why he’d actually make a great First Husband for Dorothy. I don’t like him, but man, that boy could work a room.

    2. Larkle

      Well, what initially attracted Walky to Dorothy was learning that she liked the same cartoon as him, after which he began liking other things about her. Previously, he’d been entirely uninterested in girls because he’d said he’d never met one who had any common interests with him, but Dorothy did and he fell hard. Now he’s met Amber who has a lot of common interests with him, he has experience dating, they had a little period of being friends to get comfortable with each other, so the transition to dating is naturally smoother.

      1. Bagge

        Well, it wasn’t the FIRST first thing he noticed about her, but that was absolutely was sparked his interest
        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2010/comic/book-1/02-uphill-from-here/sight/

  35. Inahc

    darnit, I’m having rss problems again *already*.
    damn you, wordpress!

    1. Inahc

      …and now it works again. huh.

  36. abysswatcher1993

    These two look so cute together, but their self hatred is killing me!!!! Also, Amber cringing at the mention of Sal makes it clear she and AG are two different entities now. Can we call Sarah Paulson from the Glass movie to treat this case?

  37. Wright

    No way. I thought that the rolling timeline spontaneously turned all 3DSes into Switches on March 3rd, 2017, just like all DSes turned into 3DSes six months into the start of this comic. Wouldn’t Amber be an early adopter?

    1. Regalli

      Listen, if Nintendo hasn’t given up on the 3DS yet (and they very definitely haven’t,) then neither do we.

      Also in some cases I suspect they’ll stay with the outdated tech even after it has firmly retired. Amber almost certainly either has a Switch or is saving up for one (and that will only shift further towards having one as the timescale shifts further,) but Sal who only had an Amazon gift card and only wants to play Mario Kart will probably not upgrade unless someone gets her hooked on BOTW or playing Wolf or Ridley in Smash Ultimate. (I have no idea who Sal would main in Smash, but it had to be a character that isn’t in Smash 4 because she’s such a casual player I could see her being fine with the 3DS.)

      1. Jay

        Wario.

      2. Wright

        That’s a good point. And I’m probably off base; the 3DSes are probably all fine. Danny likely had a Wii U that metamorphosed, instead of it being his 3DS.

        1. Wright

          Also- I see a sort of sad poetic justice if Sal plays as Ice Climbers- a boy-and-girl team in which the boy is the main, FAVORED player, and the girl often gets punched off a cliff, only to not respawn and have the game continue without her.

          If only Nana could see that Popo was pretty much useless without her.

          OMG META.

        2. Regalli

          Though it appears Ice Climbers only have a single grab in Ult, meaning they don’t have their best weapon.

          Which clearly means she needs a Wii.

    2. Jay

      The switch and 3DS are two entirely different consoles for entirely different purposes. I would take my switch around the house and maybe outside for a few hours I would take my 3DS on long trips because of superior battery life

  38. BenRG

    Amber seems to have found that the way to Walky’s heart is through his idle bone! Meanwhile, one wonders just how long Walky will miss Amber’s strongly phobic response to Sal?

  39. cbwroses

    So what happens when Becky finds Walky hanging out in the room and puts two and two together (assuming Dina doesn’t accidentally let it slip)?
    Once Becky knows, it’s only a matter of time before Joyce does.

    Of course, that assumes Walky doesn’t get spotted. His idea of stealth usually involves taking his pants off (and sometimes the rapture).

    Or Dorothy could walk in. Or Sal could mention it to Danny.

    Basically, what I’m getting at is that there are a number of ways this secret could come out.

    1. BenRG

      Oh, I think that Amber and Dina are both quite capable of keeping others from knowing. Walky on the other hand is likely to go boasting to his friends about his new soul-mate.

      1. cbwroses

        Amber was never in question. She’s a practicing vigilante. Keeping a secret is pretty much a requirement.

        And while I worry he might get spotted, I doubt Walky will go boasting to anybody, seeing as he thinks he’s a terrible person for rebounding so soon. Also, he hangs almost exclusively with girls, all of which know Dorothy.
        He occasionally stands next to Joe when they’re not in class together. And Billie probably wouldn’t say anything, but I doubt he’d be inclined to run and tell them.

        I only wonder about Dina and Sal saying something because I feel they might complain about Walky and let it slip in their grumbling.

        1. BBCC

          Also, Sal’s not here to overhear they want this to be secret. She might just say something complaining about her brother without knowing she’s not supposed to talk about it.

        2. Diner Kinetic

          It’s actually weirdly hard to hide a secret relationship; like irl you can do it if you’re super careful but you’ve gotta hide from witnesses and not let anything slip in front of anyone suspicious. Danny knows what Amber hiding a relationship looks like; and walky is just subtle enough to *literally forget people who are right next to him off panel*; plus this would probably make Joyce angry and that is universally necessary based on the laws of Running science

        3. Inahc

          also, body language is pretty darn hard to control. there was a time when I was keeping a relationship semi-quiet because I didn’t want to become known only as “[guy]’s girlfriend” (which has happened before), and at one point we were on video and it was suuuuper obvious we were close from the way we mirrored each other.

  40. cbwroses

    I always love seeing these two together…

  41. artiekrap

    wow they really have a lot in common, hope they remain friends when this inevitably crashes and burns

  42. Emily

    Amber’s still withholding a bunch of really important stuff Walky needs to know if he’s going to be in a relationship with her (and also one thing she is just morally obligated to tell him in general) so fuck her.

    1. Mr.Morningstar

      Okay I don’t know about you, but most people don’t immediatly dump that stuff on their partner right after they start dating. If you’re talking specifically about how she stabbed sal I mean, yeah she should tell him. But They started dating like what five hours ago

      1. JBento

        I don’t know if that’s what Emily’s referring to, but I think the DID is the more important factor here. And it’s urgent, because odds are that’s something Walky’s going to have to deal with very, VERY soon.

        1. Emily

          Yeah I mostly mean the “I black out and attack people” thing and the “I changed your grades against your express wishes and now you’re in danger of being expelled for severe academic misconduct” thing.

        2. Clif

          So how would you cope with Amber’s problems? Follow the moral imperative to turn yourself into the police before you hurt a criminal?

        3. Emily

          Well first I’d try therapy rather than literally doing nothing about the issue like Amber has opted for but yeah, if that didn’t help then I would prefer to remove the possibility of me endangering the people around me rather than embracing the gross and borderline fascist rationalization that lawbreakers deserve violence.

        4. CJ

          Some rapist will rape until someone stops them by violence.
          Yes, it’s preferable that the police does it, but as we know, they often get off so as not to put a blemish on their poor innocent lives, so, as long as it’s clear they rape and will rape again, I don’t really care who stops them.
          In real life, you seldom get situations that are a s clear cut as the preachers son going after Amber with a knife, though, and a situation must be as clear as that to legitimize using violence against someone.

          Amber/AG would fare badly in prison because prisons, especially the US ones, are not equipped to deal with someone with DID and as DID is a response to trauma, being in prison would make it worse. So, going to the police – especially as they have no money for a lawyer- will only make Amber/AG be violent in prison without any hope of things getting better.
          What would that achieve?

        5. Emily

          I was thinking more trying to provoke underage drinkers into a fight so she has an excuse to beat the shit out of them. Or petty vandals. Or really her approach to any non-violent crime. My only issue with her handling of Gashface is that he survived.

        6. BBCC

          Yeah, what she did to ole gashface was pretty clear cut self defence/defence of a third party.

          Now her stalking Sal and her gals on the other hand…

        7. thejeff

          At this stage, it’s kind of cautiously acceptable not to tell him. Though it’ll be easier, since he already knows that she’s Amazi-Girl.

          He definitely needs to know before they spend a night together though. No surprise waking up with someone else.

      2. Alanari

        I actually dumped all my problems on my so before we started dating. I’ve put everything on the plate that might affect the relationship. I can do most of my dealing-with-stuff on my own, but still, it does affect me and therefore my relationship.
        I wanted him to be able to make an informed decision about me and the possibility of being with me. I wanted him to decide whether he can handle me, to avoid ugly surprises and heartbreak for both of us.

  43. brute

    reminds me of the relationship me and my boyfriend had before everyone convinced him i was the reason he wasn’t accomplishing more in life and he left me for someone else.

    naturally i don’t have much faith in this ship, although i want to

  44. BBCC

    Let’s see if I can count all the complications here

    1) There’s a giant Sal backstory here Walky doesn’t know about.

    2) The DID. That’s something Walky needs to know about AND AG needs to know and be okay with Amber dating someone because otherwise AG might not take kindly to Amber using their meat vehicle in ways she’s not okay with (for instance, if AG wakes up with Walky in her bed and she didn’t know they were a thing, she’s NOT going to be happy).

    3) Mutual self loathing. Oh dear.

    4) Walky still doesn’t know she dabbled in his grade which puts him at risk for expulsion.

    5) It’s apparently going to be a secret for now.

    6) Walky’s rebounding (which might or might not cause a problem).

    1. Clif

      7) Dorothy and Danny’s reactions and what happens after Dorothy decides she wants him back.
      8) The force of nature known as Mike.
      9) The evolving Sal/AG complicated crime fighting relationship and the underlying sexual tension stemming in part from violence and the release of aggression.
      10) What happens after Ethan ships Amber and Jacob.

      1. BBCC

        I agree with the first and second ones (once Mike knows this is gonna be a shithole) but I’m afraid I don’t see it with 9, 10 hasn’t happened and doesn’t show any signs I recall a

  45. drs

    IIRC the art museum is small but decent, and free. Also has terrifying angled stairs.

    To any IU people reading: the Jordan hall greenhouses , or rather the tall ones further in, are awesome, especially in the winter. Nothing like looking at snow while steaming under a banana tree. I really miss those.

  46. Luna

    On the one hand, just chilling and playing video games together is a perfectly fun couple’s activity. On the other… Amber, you do remember Walky’s failing and avoiding at least one class, right? Maybe you could… try and help him with that in a way that won’t get you both in trouble if anyone finds out?

    1. BBCC

      Too late for that.

    2. Cmd1095

      Well in her position, Walky’s given up hope on the class and so has no motivation to study, and she’s already rigged his grade to be just high enough to scrape by. It’s probably a topic she’d rather not bring up because she changed the grades against his wishes, and nothing bad happens for her if nobody finds out about this ever.

      Of course, someone will eventually, because drama

      1. BBCC

        He’ll find out when he gets a zero on his next assignment or quiz is my guess.

  47. wakeangel2001

    she really knows her sexy talk…

  48. segnosaur

    It’ll be interesting to see Danny’s reaction if Sal somehow lets things slip about Walky and Amber when they are having one of their stair-case get-togethers/jam sessions.

  49. theKOT

    Have we seen walky play a video game or talk about playing one? Seemed like passive media was more his thing.

  50. Cmd1095

    I have such conflicted feelings about this couple. On the one hand, they’re a good fit for each other and are cute in the short term. On the other, they’re HORRIBLE for each other’s well being in the long term…

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Eh, so were Ruth and Billie, at first.

      1. autogatos

        Yeahhhh I’d argue the jury’s still out on whether that’s actually a healthy relationship vs. a mutually self-destructive one. I know Ruth is getting help and doing better now, but Billie is still a mess and they haven’t spent much time as a couple bonding over things other than their mutual misery and alcoholism.

    2. gears

      Most of the couples I know that lasted originally bonded over some shared bad habit.

      1. autogatos

        Obviously my relationship is not representative of all relationships, but while my husband and I had a lot in common when we first got together (introverts with similar interests in media and activities, and similar thoughts/life goals) we had very different, at times OPPOSITE flaws or bad habits, which I think was helpful because it allowed us to help each other grow. For example, I was very sensitive and quick to react with strong emotions to things, whereas he gets teased at work for being a robot. He’s helped me become a bit more grounded and stable while I’ve helped him become a bit more emotionally expressive.

        When all a couple’s flaws are the same, there’s not much to push them to improve or grow as people.

    3. autogatos

      Hahaha I just saw this comment after literally posting the same thing below. Glad I’m not the only one conflicted about this.

  51. Risen Daemon

    Hey now, they’re not TOTALLY slacking off. At least they’re still planning on attending class! 3 cheers for doing the bare minimum!

  52. Batman

    So, now that Amber’s once again taken, Ethan and Danny can happen, right? RIGHT??? WILLIS!!?? Ya know, the relationship that’s been teased for 4 years?

  53. Berkyb

    THE LOVE IS SO PURE!

  54. Alexx

    That’s pretty much the basis my marriage.

  55. autogatos

    I half feel like they’re perfect for each other, because they’re so in to the same activities, but also half feel like they’re TOO similar and thus can’t help each other grow, which I think is also important in a lasting relationship.

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