The Doctor’s theme song has some damn good lyrics. As far as I know, you have no theme song, and therefore no lyrics. This puts the Doctor beyond your capacity for criticism.
Deanatay
C’mon, you can’t expect primitive Hebrews to record the most sensitive information in a public record. Only a very few knew about the Doctor parking the TARDIS in the middle of the boat for a few months.
Because OF COURSE the Daleks were behind the flood.
Becky found a place to stay that wouldn’t risk putting several of her friends, including Dina, Joyce, and Billie at risk of being evicted and suspended.
They haven’t been apart for very long in comic-strip time. Becky’s adventure in which she left class, confronted Robin, stayed over at Leslie’s, then went shopping for breakfast and *then* tried to play matchmaker with Leslie at the supermarket…all only took about two days.
So, presumably she was texting Dina all the way through that, and somewhere in the time skip they’ve probably met up a few times. I believe the invitation of Leslie’s couch has been taken up by Becky permanently.
Which I think is best for all involved! College freshman probably shouldn’t live with their romantic partners, you know? Give things time.
Exactly! They’re not by any means completely cut off from each other.
Even if Leslie’s place isn’t within walking distance, Becky can just hitch a ride to campus with her every day. (At least until she saves enough to buy a used bicycle or something.)
Reminds me of that cartoon about Noah’s Ark and how the survivors decided on who would be King of the Beasts:
LION: Choose your weapon!
SNAKE: Chews ARE my weapons!
LION: So are mine!
But, like, what if there were dinosaurs? Or maybe the sea was unsafe, so they had to keep all the big sea creatures in enclosures on board? It would have to take a biiiiiiiiiiig boat, and I dunno how one man, albeit long-lived and with a small family, could make it. :p
Larkle
Maybe Noah’s Arc is like the Tardis: bigger on the inside. I mean, presumably the boat would have had some sort of supernatural power, since it’s not like it would have been the only boat in existence. You don’t need logic when you have the mystical powers of God.
Falling Star
If Noah was a Time Lord trying to save the Earth
Deanatay
As I said above, clearly the Doctor showed up and parked the TARDIS inside the Ark. Space issue solved.
There is no limit to the number-of-angels-that-can dance-on-the-head-of-a-pin types of explanations for how Noah’s Ark worked. All the carnivores were vegetarians at that time and only ate meat AFTER the flood. They were all put to sleep and needed no food. The definition of species is modified, so one canine can become all the known canines in short order after the flood. Somehow this is not evolution but some other process. The amount of cognitive disorder that must be overcome is immense. Where did all the water come from? Enough to cover 10,000 ft mountains and flood the Sahara? Comets? deep underground springs? Where did it go? Apparently back into hammerspace. Such directed thinking or directed logic is a very human trait, since human are pattern recognition machines.
shit dina is FAST. She had those figures on speed-dial, she didn’t even BLINK at Joyce barging in, no it was straight to flat-earth zinging, nought-to-a hundred in 0.3 seconds
Indeed, when you know the enemy, it helps to keep some ammunition against them nearby, just in case. In this case, the enemy is Biblical literalism (not Joyce).
For much the same reason, whenever anyone notes that the Bible prohibits homosexuality, I can not only note that it also prohibits shrimp, crop rotation, and poly-cotton blends, but that there’s an entire book that reads as a lesbian love story. “Ruth loved Naomi as Adam loved Eve.”
Thus loaded in my holster, I look at any Bible-thumper and say “You think you can take me? Go ahead on.” 😀
That’s another good one. Also, David and Saul’s really unhealthy obsession with mutilating dead male genitalia. Remember, David was tasked with collecting Philistine foreskins in order to marry Saul’s daughter and David gave him twice as many as required. That’s kind of sadistic on both their parts.
Jonathan S.
To be fair, Saul did that in the expectation that David would be slain while trying to collect the bride-price he assigned. It was more “he’ll never be able to do this and survive” than “I really, really want a hundred foreskins. You know, for… reasons.”
Justin
The foreskins make sense if you think about it. It’s the one piece of evidence that proves that he was killing 1) the men of 2) their distinctly not-Jewish enemies.
I mean, it’s still pretty weird, but at least there was a method to the madness.
Madness being the keyword here. Mainly because David brings TWICE the number asked for. It’s like…that was just unnecessary man. I mean, at least they were dead before you cut them off but still…why did you feel the need to take such grisly trophies from your extra kills David? Why? I mean, you did cut off Goliath’s head so we probably should have seen this coming but why?
Amen my brother! I like to use the good old “To God a thousand years is but the blink of an eye” quote coupled with the question of “Well, who measured those first seven days?” to get under creationists’ skin. Because since there were no humans, God would have had to measure those “days”. And God does not perceive time the same way as us. Thus, using only the Bible and elementary logic, you come to the conclusion that the creation time is entirely open to interpretation, with the idea that God could easily have measured those first “days” before humans to be hundreds of millions or even billions of years old. Thus, they have to accept non-creationism as entirely valid. All using just a couple verses from the good book and basic logic.
…
I normally get said good book thrown at me quite a bit actually.Totally worth it though to spring traps on the Bible thumpers using the Bible itself. And Ruth and Naomi is always a good example to bring up. And occasionally I’ll suggest that either Jesus and John or Jesus and Lazarus were in a serious relationship to really push their buttons. Because I’d bet my life on Jesus being bisexual and gender fluid, since he was “human in all ways”. That means he would have to have had times when he felt more comfortable as being female and probably had romantic feelings towards members of all genders. Plus, he would have had the ability to change his biological body from male to female if he so chose because of the God powers. Because someone who can manipulate matter the way he does in the Bible (water into wine, tons of fish and bread out of nowhere, cure other’s diseases, bringing dead people back to life, repairs body parts and nervous systems) would definitely have had some sort of shape shifting ability at that point.
SeanR
Not my reading. By my reading he “did” those things by praying for them. Asking God to do those things.
He even comments to the others that if they only had faith, they could do the same, be it walking on water or summoning mountains.
Granted, the last time I even LISTENED to the bible, and that just the New Testament, was…(carry the three…), awhile ago.
Jonathan S.
I like to point out that the chronology of Genesis chapter 1 and Genesis chapter 2 are incompatible – 1 has plants coming before animals, while 2 has Adam talking with God before the first plants grew.
Also, Noah’s given two mutually-contradictory sets of instructions for gathering his animals – two of each, and seven pair of each kosher animal and two pair of each “unclean”.
Then again, the part that really seems to nail the problem with Biblical literal inerrancy comes at the ends of the four Gospels – specifically, Jesus’ last words before He died. In two of them, He shouts to God, asking why He has been “forsaken”; in one, he merely screams (which could be reconciled with the others, if we assume that author didn’t hear properly); and in one, the Gospel According to John, he whispers, “It is finished.” No yelling in that one. Therefore, at least one of the Gospels is wrong. And about a pretty doggone significant detail, too, one with lots of witnesses.
Another important detail that everyone forgets, was that until the late 1300s or early 1400s no one understood the Bible as being literal, or historically and scientifically accurate. Throughout the first thousand to eleven hundred years after the Council of Nicea, it was generally read through the lenses of allegory and metaphor, unless it was the Ten Commandments or anything Jesus said, then you were supposed to take that literally. Did the ark really carry two of each animal? From the Medieval mindset, no. It was merely an allegory for good people being saved from hell by a person chosen by God, thus foretelling the coming of Jesus. As for the Gospels, they were written by different people over a period of 30-40 years, at least thirty years after the event, and John was the only one who actually witnessed the event (if he was in fact the Apostle John who was the author) remembering an event from about 60 years ago as a very old man. Some inconsistency was to be expected, because the main view was that while divine inspired, scripture was, at the end of the day written by humans. And humans make mistakes. Even if they are divinely inspired, there will be errors in translation. Then, the Black Plague wiped out most of the clergy in 1345-1349 because they were catching it from doing last rites for people. So the seminaries were pumping out as many priests as possible as quickly as possible to replace the dying ones. And these priests were poorly trained, basically only knowing how to perform the sacraments. When the Black Death ended, these poorly trained priests were in charge of training the next generation of priests, meaning that the quality of priests took centuries to improve as it was up to naturally skilled priests to overcome that poor training until they could get back to pre-Black Death levels of training quality. Then Gutenberg invented his version of the printing press and started making bibles in the mid-1400s meaning that literate people could finally read the Bible themselves. Poor quality priests and easily accessed bibles meant that people started to interpret the Bible by themselves for the first time, and literal reading of the Bible started. Add to that increasing Church corruption as poorly trained and less than ethical priests started filling by default high church positions (and then doling them out to their relatives, such as the Borgias) and you had the perfect storm for Martin Luther to start the Protestant Reformation with a century and a half of horrible results (religious wars all year every year) despite good intentions.
…
Sorry. That got a bit long winded. Point is, from a non-Protestant theological view your are not ever supposed to take the Bible as 100% literal, and are supposed to acknowledge inconsistencies because God’s word passing through a regular human will have errors in translation. Especially if you then pass it through three rounds of further translation.
284 thoughts on “Atypical”
Ana Chronistic
Dina attacks Joyce!
It’s super effective!
Joyce is all like, “WHOA WAIT DINA TRUCE”
It’s not very effective…
(I mean, it’s not like they’re fighting)
Ana Chronistic
also, all those EVIL DUCKS just swimming along
EVIL FISH
uh
evil… BARNACLES
Danni
how dare you slander ducks!
Rambling Idiot
Ducks are pretty Ryan tho.
Kamino Neko
*sings Scientifically Accurate Ducktales*
Pablo360
We regret to inform you that Milkshake Duck is a sexual assaulter.
Stephen Bierce
Who’s got a fowl mouth around here?
Emperor Daniel
I think this is their swan song.
Danni
i cant believe i have to gander at these
Whirlwitch
You loons and your poultry puns.
tyersome
I a grebe, this thread is diving to new depths.
tyersome
Do you think we will be billed for befowling this fair website with our quacks?
Emperor Daniel
If we are, someone should tweet about it.
Jonathan S.
Eh, we’ll just wing it.
tyersome
Are you implying we’re flighty? That accusation will never take off.
saltchocolate
No one gives a hoot.
tyersome
Well OK, I guess it’s time to go owl out then, but if I get Barred I’m going to Screech.
Emperor Daniel
I’m puffin to keep up with all of you.
tyersome
I don’t want to make things aukward or tern this into an argument, but I don’t know what are you toucan about.
Emperor Daniel
Well don’t start parroting me, now.
tyersome
Oh Kea, I will be Lory of doing that!
Remmington Steele
Crane’s neck into the conversation.
tyersome
I hope you won’t have egrets about sticking your neck out …
Emperor Daniel
Act with integrity, no egrets.
tyersome
I keep heron that phrase here, whatever could it be referring to?
Ana Chronistic
Y’all are a bunch of loons!
tyersome
How could you teal?
Ana Chronistic
Slander? https://youtu.be/3LtiyefHCe4?t=1m16s
Abel Undercity
But… ducks are sinister!
MissFortune
I will eat all the leaves on this tree. In the morning there will be no leaves. And some animals will diiiiiie.
Delicious Taffy
You eat those leaves, and this belt is gonna come off.
Xailenrath
A-bloody-MEN!
TheAnonymousGuy
so, joyces sympathy is worth less because she believes in god and noah’s ark and ect.
Rei
Not her sympathy, her definition. Difference
Miguel
Yay Dina is back!!!!
Doctor_Who
More Dina = More awesome.
Can’t argue with simple math.
Pablo360
Not with that attitude, you can’t.
marianne
Really? You’re the one who’d argue you couldn’t fit that many species on the inside of the ark?
Delicious Taffy
The Doctor’s theme song has some damn good lyrics. As far as I know, you have no theme song, and therefore no lyrics. This puts the Doctor beyond your capacity for criticism.
Deanatay
C’mon, you can’t expect primitive Hebrews to record the most sensitive information in a public record. Only a very few knew about the Doctor parking the TARDIS in the middle of the boat for a few months.
Because OF COURSE the Daleks were behind the flood.
Wheelpath
“I would die for Riley”
Yeah, fuck the normies
Delicious Taffy
I believe the standard response is “REEEEEE!”, but I can’t figure out why.
Uncle Taffy’s got alcohol on his breath…
Kernanator
Yyyyeah, that is definitely a “I should have been locked up” attitude Amber’s sporting.
Optimal Optimus
Now that I think about it… what happened between Becky and Dina? Clearly, they did not have sex. Did they break up?
SeanR
Becky found a place to stay that wouldn’t risk putting several of her friends, including Dina, Joyce, and Billie at risk of being evicted and suspended.
Stella
They haven’t been apart for very long in comic-strip time. Becky’s adventure in which she left class, confronted Robin, stayed over at Leslie’s, then went shopping for breakfast and *then* tried to play matchmaker with Leslie at the supermarket…all only took about two days.
So, presumably she was texting Dina all the way through that, and somewhere in the time skip they’ve probably met up a few times. I believe the invitation of Leslie’s couch has been taken up by Becky permanently.
Which I think is best for all involved! College freshman probably shouldn’t live with their romantic partners, you know? Give things time.
Needfuldoer
Exactly! They’re not by any means completely cut off from each other.
Even if Leslie’s place isn’t within walking distance, Becky can just hitch a ride to campus with her every day. (At least until she saves enough to buy a used bicycle or something.)
Rocketboy1313
Dinah for elected office.
Doom Shepherd
The h is a lie.
Stephen Bierce
Reminds me of that cartoon about Noah’s Ark and how the survivors decided on who would be King of the Beasts:
LION: Choose your weapon!
SNAKE: Chews ARE my weapons!
LION: So are mine!
Passchendaele
time to substitue a different normal, ’cause that boat, realistically, would’ve capsized. 😛
Gesc
But consider this:
A really, really big boat.
Passchendaele
But, like, what if there were dinosaurs? Or maybe the sea was unsafe, so they had to keep all the big sea creatures in enclosures on board? It would have to take a biiiiiiiiiiig boat, and I dunno how one man, albeit long-lived and with a small family, could make it. :p
Larkle
Maybe Noah’s Arc is like the Tardis: bigger on the inside. I mean, presumably the boat would have had some sort of supernatural power, since it’s not like it would have been the only boat in existence. You don’t need logic when you have the mystical powers of God.
Falling Star
If Noah was a Time Lord trying to save the Earth
Deanatay
As I said above, clearly the Doctor showed up and parked the TARDIS inside the Ark. Space issue solved.
Pablo360
We’re gonna need a bigger boat.
hof1991
There is no limit to the number-of-angels-that-can dance-on-the-head-of-a-pin types of explanations for how Noah’s Ark worked. All the carnivores were vegetarians at that time and only ate meat AFTER the flood. They were all put to sleep and needed no food. The definition of species is modified, so one canine can become all the known canines in short order after the flood. Somehow this is not evolution but some other process. The amount of cognitive disorder that must be overcome is immense. Where did all the water come from? Enough to cover 10,000 ft mountains and flood the Sahara? Comets? deep underground springs? Where did it go? Apparently back into hammerspace. Such directed thinking or directed logic is a very human trait, since human are pattern recognition machines.
woobie
And, and I bet Dina hasn’t subtracted marine species from the total! The land based critters would totally fit!
Carms
shit dina is FAST. She had those figures on speed-dial, she didn’t even BLINK at Joyce barging in, no it was straight to flat-earth zinging, nought-to-a hundred in 0.3 seconds
Rambling Idiot
Dina has trained for this day all her life.
Adj
Indeed, when you know the enemy, it helps to keep some ammunition against them nearby, just in case. In this case, the enemy is Biblical literalism (not Joyce).
For much the same reason, whenever anyone notes that the Bible prohibits homosexuality, I can not only note that it also prohibits shrimp, crop rotation, and poly-cotton blends, but that there’s an entire book that reads as a lesbian love story. “Ruth loved Naomi as Adam loved Eve.”
Thus loaded in my holster, I look at any Bible-thumper and say “You think you can take me? Go ahead on.” 😀
Doris Fromage
Let’s not forget the torrid passion between David and Saul’s son Jonathan, now!
Rukduk
That’s another good one. Also, David and Saul’s really unhealthy obsession with mutilating dead male genitalia. Remember, David was tasked with collecting Philistine foreskins in order to marry Saul’s daughter and David gave him twice as many as required. That’s kind of sadistic on both their parts.
Jonathan S.
To be fair, Saul did that in the expectation that David would be slain while trying to collect the bride-price he assigned. It was more “he’ll never be able to do this and survive” than “I really, really want a hundred foreskins. You know, for… reasons.”
Justin
The foreskins make sense if you think about it. It’s the one piece of evidence that proves that he was killing 1) the men of 2) their distinctly not-Jewish enemies.
I mean, it’s still pretty weird, but at least there was a method to the madness.
Rukduk
Madness being the keyword here. Mainly because David brings TWICE the number asked for. It’s like…that was just unnecessary man. I mean, at least they were dead before you cut them off but still…why did you feel the need to take such grisly trophies from your extra kills David? Why? I mean, you did cut off Goliath’s head so we probably should have seen this coming but why?
Delicious Taffy
Saul needed the foreskins for stem cell research. Do you know how much skin you can make with one of those?
Lovely Monsters
I know you can make a nice poncho from a sperm whale’s foreskin! So that’s a fair amount.
Not sure WHY sperm whales have foreskins . . .
Time for some googling that will be difficult to explain to the authorities if my computer is ever seized!
Rukduk
Amen my brother! I like to use the good old “To God a thousand years is but the blink of an eye” quote coupled with the question of “Well, who measured those first seven days?” to get under creationists’ skin. Because since there were no humans, God would have had to measure those “days”. And God does not perceive time the same way as us. Thus, using only the Bible and elementary logic, you come to the conclusion that the creation time is entirely open to interpretation, with the idea that God could easily have measured those first “days” before humans to be hundreds of millions or even billions of years old. Thus, they have to accept non-creationism as entirely valid. All using just a couple verses from the good book and basic logic.
…
I normally get said good book thrown at me quite a bit actually.Totally worth it though to spring traps on the Bible thumpers using the Bible itself. And Ruth and Naomi is always a good example to bring up. And occasionally I’ll suggest that either Jesus and John or Jesus and Lazarus were in a serious relationship to really push their buttons. Because I’d bet my life on Jesus being bisexual and gender fluid, since he was “human in all ways”. That means he would have to have had times when he felt more comfortable as being female and probably had romantic feelings towards members of all genders. Plus, he would have had the ability to change his biological body from male to female if he so chose because of the God powers. Because someone who can manipulate matter the way he does in the Bible (water into wine, tons of fish and bread out of nowhere, cure other’s diseases, bringing dead people back to life, repairs body parts and nervous systems) would definitely have had some sort of shape shifting ability at that point.
SeanR
Not my reading. By my reading he “did” those things by praying for them. Asking God to do those things.
He even comments to the others that if they only had faith, they could do the same, be it walking on water or summoning mountains.
Granted, the last time I even LISTENED to the bible, and that just the New Testament, was…(carry the three…), awhile ago.
Jonathan S.
I like to point out that the chronology of Genesis chapter 1 and Genesis chapter 2 are incompatible – 1 has plants coming before animals, while 2 has Adam talking with God before the first plants grew.
Also, Noah’s given two mutually-contradictory sets of instructions for gathering his animals – two of each, and seven pair of each kosher animal and two pair of each “unclean”.
Then again, the part that really seems to nail the problem with Biblical literal inerrancy comes at the ends of the four Gospels – specifically, Jesus’ last words before He died. In two of them, He shouts to God, asking why He has been “forsaken”; in one, he merely screams (which could be reconciled with the others, if we assume that author didn’t hear properly); and in one, the Gospel According to John, he whispers, “It is finished.” No yelling in that one. Therefore, at least one of the Gospels is wrong. And about a pretty doggone significant detail, too, one with lots of witnesses.
Rukduk
Another important detail that everyone forgets, was that until the late 1300s or early 1400s no one understood the Bible as being literal, or historically and scientifically accurate. Throughout the first thousand to eleven hundred years after the Council of Nicea, it was generally read through the lenses of allegory and metaphor, unless it was the Ten Commandments or anything Jesus said, then you were supposed to take that literally. Did the ark really carry two of each animal? From the Medieval mindset, no. It was merely an allegory for good people being saved from hell by a person chosen by God, thus foretelling the coming of Jesus. As for the Gospels, they were written by different people over a period of 30-40 years, at least thirty years after the event, and John was the only one who actually witnessed the event (if he was in fact the Apostle John who was the author) remembering an event from about 60 years ago as a very old man. Some inconsistency was to be expected, because the main view was that while divine inspired, scripture was, at the end of the day written by humans. And humans make mistakes. Even if they are divinely inspired, there will be errors in translation. Then, the Black Plague wiped out most of the clergy in 1345-1349 because they were catching it from doing last rites for people. So the seminaries were pumping out as many priests as possible as quickly as possible to replace the dying ones. And these priests were poorly trained, basically only knowing how to perform the sacraments. When the Black Death ended, these poorly trained priests were in charge of training the next generation of priests, meaning that the quality of priests took centuries to improve as it was up to naturally skilled priests to overcome that poor training until they could get back to pre-Black Death levels of training quality. Then Gutenberg invented his version of the printing press and started making bibles in the mid-1400s meaning that literate people could finally read the Bible themselves. Poor quality priests and easily accessed bibles meant that people started to interpret the Bible by themselves for the first time, and literal reading of the Bible started. Add to that increasing Church corruption as poorly trained and less than ethical priests started filling by default high church positions (and then doling them out to their relatives, such as the Borgias) and you had the perfect storm for Martin Luther to start the Protestant Reformation with a century and a half of horrible results (religious wars all year every year) despite good intentions.
…
Sorry. That got a bit long winded. Point is, from a non-Protestant theological view your are not ever supposed to take the Bible as 100% literal, and are supposed to acknowledge inconsistencies because God’s word passing through a regular human will have errors in translation. Especially if you then pass it through three rounds of further translation.