135

Availability
Posted on January 7, 2013 by David M Willis

135 thoughts on “Availability”

  1. blackaeon

    WITH TATTOOS!

    1. Aizat

      WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        FOR SCIENCE!

        1. Aizat

          FOR FREEDOM!

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          EXCELSIOR!

        3. DaJoshMaster

          FOR PONY!

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          TO INFINITY AND BEYOND THE IMPOSSIBLE!

        5. Fred

          FOR A NICKEL!

        6. N0083rP00F

          At The Speed of LINT!

        7. JA

          FAAAAAAAACCCEEE

        8. petsinwinter

          SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE

        9. NightmareWarden

          SPOOOOOOON!

        10. fatemaster1

          For no reason!

        11. Aisling

          SPOOOOOOOOOON!!!

        12. The Other Mike

          DaJoshMaster, your comment is much more amusing when read in Penny’s voice. (The Penny in your avatar, that is, not the one in the strip.)

      2. Icalasari

        In the faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace?

        1. Portmaneau

          with a %$^* in the box

      3. Volkai

        Jason is now A BOX OF SCRAPS!

  2. David Herbert

    Her tattoos give her super strength.

    1. NCP19

      I’m glad someone said it. Also her voice probably doesn’t hurt either.

    2. Zeptometer

      Her voice gives her super strength.

      (Anyone?)

      1. Sir Robin

        Sal sounds like Applejack

        1. Doctor_Who

          Yes. I cannot hear any voice when she speaks except for Ashleigh Ball.

        2. Jackson

          FRIENDSHIIIIP is magic

        3. Aizat

          Don’t you mean DRAGGING is magic?

        4. DaJoshMaster

          Your Mum’s magic… for a nickel!

        5. Aizat

          You know who else like magic?

        6. DaJoshMaster

          Hitler.

        7. Plasma Mongoose

          Hitler, Adolf Hitler…

        8. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

          Applejack has a much bigger vocabulary and, I think, speaks at a faster rate. I think Rogue from X-men Evolution is closer.

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        If Sal sounds anything like YGO Abridged’s Tristan, she might end up staying a virgin for a very long time.

      3. fatemaster1

        She’s a ninja, it’s part of the training that we get super strength without having bulging muscles, essentially just denser muscles so we can still keep up our speed.

    3. Bill M.

      So… she’s a runelord?

      1. KaelemGaen

        Just had to comment on this just to say +1 Good Sir.

    4. sidhe3141

      Bellflower Tattoo. I didn’t think she was Lawful enough to qualify for that prestige class, though.

  3. DaJoshMaster

    Okay Jason, I’m jelly.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      What flavour? 😀

      1. Yotomoe

        Plasma, the quickest draw on the gravitars.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          I’m slowly getting the hang of the Corel PHOTO-PAINT X5.

      2. Dibullba

        Pie Flavor!!!

        1. fatemaster1

          Cherry Pie Flavor!

  4. Doctor_Who

    Sal’s power comes from tattoos? She must be one of the Rakyat from Far Cry 3!

    …Ma, those pirates wouldn’t stand a chance against a pissed off Sal.

    1. Kernanator

      Or the Nameless One.

      1. Aizat

        Or a ghost.

    2. AckAckAck

      Uh…. actually Rakyat means Civilians.

      Those people who made FC3 love to throw ambiguous foreign words to make it sounds cooler.

  5. Wonder Wig

    Tattoos are like equip magic cards. They boost the targets original power.

    1. DaJoshMaster

      You can channel some mana to move them onto other creatures?
      They die to artifact removal?

      Tattos just got so much cooler.

    2. AckAckAck

      So what’s the tramp stamp tattoos power?

  6. Plasma Mongoose

    Tattoos which magically give you a +6 bonus to your STR stat.

    1. Aizat

      That would be the Fighter’s Tattoo.

      1. GrrArg42

        I know I shouldn’t have gotten this Banjo tattoo.

        … wait what am I saying? Of course I should. I’ma going to get a matching one. They can be friends!

        1. Aizat

          Let me see, Banjo Tattoo gives you +5 on any musical based attacks.

        2. Ancestral Hamster

          Get a Banthulhlu tattoo!

          “That is not Dead that can Eternal lie,
          And over Strange Aeons even Death may die.”

        3. Aizat

          Or the Dragon Tattoo. +5 on all stats plus a 50% to all elemental magic.

        4. AckAckAck

          But becareful, a wrong design and it will raise your douche meter to +5!

      2. Rokku

        WHY HASN’T TORMENT GOTTEN AN HD REMIX YET

        1. Animaniac

          because they are working on the sequel instead?
          http://arstechnica.com/gaming/2012/12/planescape-torment-sequel-finally-in-the-works/

  7. Reboot

    If Penny’s actually meant to be English (or, hell, from ANYWHERE in the British Isles), she would say “maths”, not “math”.

    1. DaJoshMaster

      Yeah, that’s really bugging me too. 😛

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Maybe she has started to use American spelling and words after being in the country for a fair while, after all even Arnold Schwarzenegger HAS to work with a speech coach so he can KEEP his accent, otherwise he would just sound like a typical Hollywood American.

      1. Doctor_Who

        I always wondered how he kept the accent after so many years. I always figured that at some point he just started doing the same Ahnold impression that everyone else does, and we never noticed the difference.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          His voice is pretty much his trademark, so it is in his best interest to keep it.

        2. Whittier

          I know British folk who have lived in the US for years who sound exactly like Americans, and ones who have lived in the US for years whom Americans think sound British (though British think they sound Australian). Personality quirks, I think, have something to do with how much on assimilates an accent. I say this having had linguists “diagnose” my own accent as a mishmash of everything I’ve ever herad.

        3. TARDIS with a Hat

          My late grandmother kept her German accent all her life, even though she came to Israel in a rather young age.

      2. Cholma

        That accent is fake. The speech coach is so he doesn’t forget his public persona. In private he speaks more like this: “I say, I shall return. Good day, ol’ chap.” He’s not Austrian at all! 😀

      3. Yotomoe

        And noone wants that.

      4. Somebody

        That doesn’t make sense…accents are not that easy to lose.

    3. jnzooger

      I actually called this a few comic back infact. I knew someone would say it wrong eventually.

  8. Mkvenner

    Its the bowtie.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      It spins around and makes anyone looking at it get all sleepy.

      1. Yotomoe

        Hypnotizes them into thinking it was a great night of sex and debauchery when really we just watched Monty Python in our underwear.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Are you suggesting that Monty Python < sex and debauchery?

        2. Resne

          It certainly couldn’t hurt to do them both at once.

  9. Dierna

    When in your proper element? So…the Tardis?

    1. GrrArg42

      I’m sorry, the correct answer was “Boron”.

      1. N0083rP00F

        Sorry but you must phrase your answer as a question.

      2. Dibullba

        That is also incorrect. It is the Element of Generosity.

  10. Cholma

    …and that’s when Sal realized that she was emotionally available… for Penny. Their loud, raucous, nights of passion would become legend across the campus.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      So the Penny/Sal ship is a speedboat with multiple two stroke engines?

      1. Yotomoe

        It’s so fast that it goes around the world and crashes into itself.

        1. GrrArg42

          Does that make time go backwards?

        2. N0083rP00F

          No, that makes time go asymmetrically since its all wibbly wobly to begin with.

  11. Uniqueantique

    I’m a 5′ tall 100 lb. female and in my younger days, I’ve faced down guys 6′. It’s not in the tatoo or the size – it is all in the attitude.
    I tell ’em lay off or I’m going to kill them, and they believe me.
    So I can see where Jason is at: rofl

    1. Doctor_Who

      I actually had a high school friend tell me that the reason no one ever picked on me is that I somehow give off the impression that I’m grinning and holding up a knife at all times.

      So I guess I just give off crazy vibes somehow. Yay?

      1. Kernanator

        Lucky. I have to grow out my facial hair and stop showering to give off that same effect.

        1. DaJoshMaster

          Personally I just grin and hold a knife up at all times, it works wonders.

        2. Historyman68

          I’ve been doing that for a while, and everybody still seems to think i’m a nice guy!

  12. Kernanator

    I’m not seeing the Symbol of Torment anywhere on her, Jason, so you don’t have any excuses.

    1. Yotomoe

      I don’t even see an anchor or a heart that says mom.

      1. Aizat

        Or upside down heart that says wow.

  13. Tom Speelman

    Sure you’re a force, Jason. SURE you are.

    1. Aizat

      Hey, it’s the stick you should be watching out for.

      1. addude

        Remember what Roosevelt said speak quietly and carry a big stick. He speaks quietly so I’m assuming he has a big stick

        1. Xydux

          I speak quietly. I don’t have a big stick. Maybe I should start yelling.

        2. CWR

          Yelling basically tells everyone that your stick isn’t very big.

          I guess.

          In this context.

  14. Plasma Mongoose

    Somehow I have a hard time picturing Jason as a pimpdaddy.

  15. Aizat

    Wait, Jason was hammering the nail with Penny?

    1. DaJoshMaster

      Yup, he was tonking her right up the skidaddle.

      1. Aizat

        I can’t believe Jason was painting the fence with Penny.

        1. DaJoshMaster

          I bet he varnished her table while they were at it.

        2. Aizat

          And polish her mirror.

        3. DaJoshMaster

          I hope she at least made his bed.

        4. Dicrel Seijin

          She offered him a tuppenny-upright.

        5. Bill M.

          They were engaged in the rarest of activities, coitus-uninterruptus.

  16. Aizat

    Tattoos? I hope Sal is not ghost.

  17. Mkvenner

    I get the feeling that there is only one desk in that office, and that jason and penny destroyed the othe one in advertenly.

    1. Aizat

      Talk about pounding the stake.

  18. Joe H

    I wish I were being dragged around by a girl with tattoos.

    1. Yotomoe

      The girl with the Draggin’ Tattoos.

      1. J-Dawg

        You beat me to it. Good job!

  19. Barabajagala

    Kinky

    1. that bard

      Sorry, but it just feels wrong for Calvin to “say” that.

  20. Raoullefere

    My god, now I feel sorry for… Penny.

  21. DaJoshMaster

    I would love to hear Penny and Jason talk dirty.

    1. Aizat

      It will be repeat of Fridays storm of euphemisms.

  22. ItsaMe

    Maths. Oh, you silly brits.

  23. Tim

    Is Jason the reason Penny turns evil? (Assuming she is evil in this universe)

  24. Groove

    With her eyes shut Penny looks sickeningly like the great Faz.

    Jason looks a lot less like Faz with his long face, but he IS talking about his awesome sexual prowess. Also he’s a maths teacher, so he could draw a sick graph depicting sexuality over time(/ladies).

  25. Bill Murphy

    You have to watch out for those tattoo’d ladies man. 😛

  26. Jimmy

    Tattoos must be quite powerful. I have none, so maybe that’s why I can’t lift anything heavier than a bowling ball. 🙂

  27. Yotomoe

    What you guys don’t know is that when Sal gets mad her tattoo spreads across her entire body and also hands grow out of her back.

  28. Ronnie

    …WHY am I getting Niles/Daphne vibes from Jason and Penny?

    1. Jessie

      YOU NAILED IT!!!

      1. John

        No, apparently Jason did.

        1. Roborat

          Badum, tish.

  29. Nerdman

    Gone for a week, and you miss the most fascinating stuff.

    Like Penny showing up. And Jason proclaiming that he knows “The Sexual Force.”

    Weird.

  30. Yarrr

    It’s the english accent. For some reason I assume he has one.

  31. Ray

    So, what’s being implied here? That Penny had a thing for Jason, slept with him, and only after that discovered what a bore he is, and now her feelings for him are reduced to bitter snark?

    1. CWR

      I think Penny still HAS a thing for Jason – but he was like Dorothy and she was like Danny sort of thing.

      1. Raoullefere

        That’s my take, too.

  32. mouseanderson

    He is being dragged around because tatoos add +5 to strength and to intimidation.

    1. N0083rP00F

      Well Intimidation is strength based skill.

  33. Somebody

    The redhead is ridiculously hot!

    1. Mkvenner

      Second.

      1. averystrangeplace

        All in favour, say ai!
        Ai.

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