125

Basting
Posted on March 11, 2013 by David M Willis

125 thoughts on “Basting”

  1. Skull025

    To baste or not to baste, that is the question.

    1. Hawkwing

      Be sure to make the baste decision.

      1. PureLionHeart

        Take your time, though. Don’t make it in baste.

        1. Tucker

          …Or it might blow up in your BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASTE!

        2. Charlie Spencer

          Because haste makes baste.

        3. Deimir

          She only dresses Walky like that in public. In private they baste all the time.

        4. Josh

          But who is the baster and who is the bastee?

        5. Nee Hou

          All your basting are belong to us!

        6. that bard

          And baste makes waste.

    2. Skull025

      Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
      The wings and drumsticks of outrageous fortune,
      Or to take arms against a sea of grease,
      And by opposing gobble them? To baste: to sleep;
      No more; and by a fist to say we end
      The butt-hurt and the thousand natural shocks
      That fists are heir to, ’tis a consummation
      Devoutly to be wish’d. To baste, to sleep;

      1. cookie1995

        you win the internet

    3. vanjealous

      We certainly don’t want any little Basterds to come out of this relationship, Dorothy!

  2. Mkvenner

    Is that what they’re calling these days?

    1. Yotomoe

      I always thought it was marinating the fish.

      1. Skull025

        I always thought it was dry-rubbing the snake-rib.

        1. disastersaurus

          if you’re dry rubbing, you’re doing it wrong, darlin’.

        2. Resne

          Bite the pillow.

        3. Roborat

          Oh, so that is what you are doing.

  3. Yotomoe

    Walky is a turkey. A jive turkey.

    1. Tom Speelman

      But where is his Zoot Suit and hep cat music?

      1. Groove

        A turkey is a bad person.

  4. BlueRam

    Turkey stuffed with Macaroni and Cheese? NOW it all makes sense!

    1. Yotomoe

      That sounds delicious. But from a sexual standpoint he’d be stuffing a turkey into Macaroni and Cheese

      1. Pyr05

        *stuffing a turkey into a Macaroni and Cheese box.

        1. Groove

          OMG, I’d never considered macaroni cheese as a stuffing before….

      2. BlueRam

        Did you not read the hovertext? CLEARLY The Macaroni and Cheese is going in that turkey!

  5. Joe H

    I was gonna make a joke about “Walky-stuffing” but then I made myself queasy.

    1. ASmellyOgre

      The hovertext made that joke already.

      1. Tan

        Wait… Wait… Wait wait wait….

        HOW LONG HAS DOA HAD HOVERTEXT JOKES??? Is this a thing on SP! too?? HOLY BALLS, IT IS!!

        So I’m going to have to reread everything apparently.

        1. slicedtoad

          only like a few weeks.

        2. Mal

          I forgot about the Hovertext until reading the comments, and just went back through the DoA to see what I missed. It’s a mercifully short list of comics to go through… for now.

        3. Tan

          People of the future! Let it be known that hovertext has existed on both DoA and SP! since February 14, 2013!

  6. Doctor_Who

    Whole lotta basting going on.

  7. Wonder Wig

    Turduckin’ truckin’ chuckin’ puckin’ –

  8. Sir Robin

    Dorothy is 19? I thought where all the cast was fresh out of highschool, it put them in the 17-18 range

    1. ASmellyOgre

      She could be like me and have a birthday that’s really early in the school year.

    2. isitsevenyet

      Plenty of people graduate high school at 19, and maybe her birthday is over the summer so she graduated at 18 and turned 19 before starting college. The age you graduated depends on what age they allow you to start kindergarten, and that varies by where you live.

      1. Jugglenaut

        Bingo. I turned 19 a week before freshman classes started.

      2. Andiemus

        I was almost 8 before first grade.

    3. Wack'd

      That threw me too. She should almost definitely be eighteen–unless she got held back a year, in which case she should give up any hope of political office right now.

      1. David

        Dorothy’s birthday is early in the school year, as ASmellyOgre suggested. When this happens, parents often opt to start a kid in school later. It’s a very common occurrence. I’m married to one such occurrence.

        1. Alex Stritar

          Weird, my mom has an early in the year birthday, and she started college at 17.

        2. ASmellyOgre

          As he said, it’s all up to the parents. Essentially, do they want their kid older than most of their peers or younger than them.

        3. SeanNOLA

          In some school districts, it’s not up to parents. I remember when I lived in KS, they had preschool, then “Pre-K,” which was an extra year of Preschool that kids went to if their parents started them too early, so they could be the same age as the other kids when they started Kindergarten.

          I, on the other hand, have an October birthday and started Kindergarten on an army base in Germany, so I got to start when I was 4. Since my dad was in the army, we then moved a lot, and ended up moving from KS to New Orleans when I was in high school. Louisiana has much more lenient graduation requirements, so I had 80% of the credits I needed to graduate by the start of my Junior year without ever taking any AP classes. I started college at 16.

        4. Pyr05

          Sometimes the school resists early admittance such as the case of your mother Alex. I know my parents did, but insisted because I wouldn’t shut up about starting school even though I was only 2 years old.

        5. AHA

          School systems typically say you have to be 5 by September 1st or December 31st (or some random date in between) to start Kindergarden. So an on track student on September 1st of their freshman year should be 18 or turning 18 by the end of the year.

        6. JBO

          Well my birthday is late in school year, so I was always the youngest. Now that I have taken a gap year I will be the oldest once university starts!

  9. timemonkey

    Can I say just how much I love Joyce and Dorothy’s friendship?

  10. Wack'd

    I could’ve sworn dressing a turkey is an actual thing, and perhaps a much more apt metaphor.

    1. Yotomoe

      Yeah, but basting him him is more delicious.

      1. Pyr05

        not-so-dry-humping in public

        1. Roborat

          I first read that a pubic, not public.

  11. David Herbert

    Basting a turkey, which she will then proceed to have sex with.
    That’s right, she’s going to fuck the caramel turkey.

    Follow her on twitter @DorothyKeener

    1. Pyr05

      You have ruined innuendo with your bluntness.

      1. David Herbert

        Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, Episode 3.

    2. Geegles

      Caramel turkey sounds like it could either be delicious or terrible.

      1. RedScharron

        Doesn’t sound that much weirder than a chocolate bunny when you think about it.

  12. SUGauthor

    She’s going to need a husband if she wants to become president, what’s wrong with Walky?

    1. David Herbert

      Having a husband who wants to rebuild the White House with lego may not be a good PR move.

      1. Yotomoe

        You misjudge how many people would love to have that.

      2. SUGauthor

        They would be white legos though, so it’s still ok.

        1. Pyr05

          No, they ran out. Had to start making ‘creative choices’ once the worldwide call for white Lego proved insufficient.

        2. SUGauthor

          The red, white and blue house does have a nice ring to it.

      3. JBO

        And now I want to see Willis do a one shot comic about married life in the white house.
        “Walky could you please turn your holographs down? I am trying to figure out what to say to the ambasador from Saudi-Jordania.”
        “Ohh just give him a pork steak to eat and everything should be fine.”
        “That’s…. not a good idea.”

    2. C.

      There’s also a good chance that Walky may not be the one and then where would Dotty be?

  13. Theozilla

    That is also quite a personal pickle for Dorothy. Having to compromise on ones ideals and oneself seems to be something almost everyone who wishes create great societal change must go through.

  14. Sporky

    Wait a minute Dorothy’s nineteen and I’m gonna be turning twenty in like a week

    And a lot of the other characters in this are probably like eighteen

    Holy shit, I’m older than the cast of Dumbing of Age. IT FEELS SO WRONG. HELP. I’M OLD.

    *runs frantically to the Walkyverse where everyone is in their 30s* Ah, that’s better.

    1. disastersaurus

      as someone who started reading in ~late high school and then slowly aged past the characters (20, now)–I feel your pain.

    2. John

      Quitcher belly-achin’ and get offa my lawn.

      If I’d knocked up my girlfriend when I was the DoA cast’s age, the kid would be older than you.

    3. JBO

      I hear ya. By June I’ll alo be older than everyone in this comic. Well except Galasso and Jason…… and Pamela…..how old is Conquest again? Alan should also be older than me. Sarah and Raidah are also older. Well I am older than the first years by June!

  15. ridtom

    So it’s a turkey stuffed with Mac n Cheese? But that means Walky is getting stuffed with….O-oh God!

  16. Scott

    She could become a masterbaster!

    1. Skull025

      I give you ten internets.

  17. Kernanator

    She wants to baste all over him.

    1. Yotomoe

      Just don’t go to fast. You don’t want to baste early.

      1. Skull025

        Premature-basting

        1. Kernanator

          Do you like to baste fast and hard, or slow and gentle?

  18. Axel Bordelon

    Serious comment here, Wow. I honestly completely empathize with Dorothy on the middle panels. I’m a guy, but I still find that sentiment to be true. If I’m not constantly on my guard, I feel like I’d end up a failure. I kinda hated Dorothy for breaking Danny’s heart, but now….. I really respect her. I identify with her. Look at Willis go, making relatable character development again. Right on.

    1. Skull025

      Agreed with Axel. Damn Dorothy, you go.

  19. Plasma Mongoose

    Baste makes waste.

    1. Arkadi

      Baste not, want not.

  20. Uniqueantique

    Damn fine comments, very relatable to the real world waiting to pounce on you when you get out here. And I love the way the two girls relate.

  21. dropded

    Today’s strip made me think. The mouse over text made me shoot coffee out of my nose.

    1. Pyr05

      holy crap, I did not know!

    2. Roborat

      My first thought was: wait, isn’t that backwards? isn’t it usually the girl who gets inserted into?

  22. Pyr05

    I like that Joyce isn’t going on and on about how it’s wrong. I hate trying to have a conversation with people like that. Like they don’t feel anything. Ever. At all.

    Damn eunuchs.

  23. Raoullefere

    Waitaflippinminute. Dotty wants to be President? Of the U.S.?

    Or does she mean she wants to run a National Cannabis Booster Club ?

    1. David

      Y’know, I was afraid she was mentioning wanting to be President too much, but apparently not.

      1. begbert2

        She was mentioning it plenty, um, a year and a half ago I think?

    2. John

      The former.

      In other breaking news: Joyce is religious, Dina is into dinosaurs, and Mike did your mom for a nickel.

      1. N0083rP00F

        And Glasso
        He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps
        He likes to press wildflowers
        He puts on women’s clothing And hangs around in bars?

        1. timemonkey

          It pleases his daughter,

      2. Roborat

        And almost everyone is gay.

  24. E.C.

    … Logic, thy name be not ‘human’.

  25. NobodySpecial

    And so the world waits with basted breath to find out how this story concludes….

  26. Zaxares

    I really hate it how moralists, chauvinists and feminists alike have all turned sex into a weapon. Sex is supposed to be something fun and awesome between two (or more, if that’s what you’re into) consenting people. Sex is not shameful. It is not wrong to like or enjoy sex, regardless of your orientation or tastes, as long as all the participants are willing. Somebody’s sexual preferences do not define a person, and we should stop doing that. Post-haste!

    1. KKoro

      As far as “supposed” factors into it, sex is “supposed” to be a mechanism fo bilogical reproduction. You’re thinking more along the lines of “what my view on it is”, and let’s be honest, this particulr viewpoint isn’t quite as old as the moralists’, chauvinists’, and feminists’ takes on it.

      It would be more honest and accurate to be claiming something like “it is less harmful to the psych to view sex as X”, but claiming that your opponents somehow revised the “obvious purpose” from your own viewpoint is quite disingenuous.

      …Unless you happen to be the Creator of Humanity, in which case, Hi!

      1. Leonou

        Well, sex is inherently enjoyable, as both men and women reach orgasm through it (when done right). Therefore it IS “something fun”.

        The awesome part depends on your religious (sex is a SIN), political (it is a matter of gender domination) or ethical (sex is awesome/shameful) views.

        And even if it was not the prevailing opinion in the judeo-christian and muslim world, the “Sex is not shameful and should be enjoyed” point of view is at least as old as (and probably older than) the others.

  27. Josh

    Don’t worry Joyce, I still think you’re stupid! 🙂

  28. Jimmy

    Hell I’m 31 and struggle with this crap. What makes it worse is my lack of experience in relationships makes me feel like there’s something terribly wrong with me. Half of me really wants to wait for the right woman and the other half of me just wants to get laid all of the time. As a great man once said: “I’m going off the rails on a crazy train.”

  29. Notebooked

    I quite like this moment. Dorothy’s been trying to get Joyce not to be so controlling before, and this humanizes those control needs a fair bit — maybe Joyce needs to keep a hold on herself, and people in her vicinity doing stuff she won’t allow herself to do (or she has strict rules about doing) makes it harder to suppress those urges. And she doesn’t really want to suppress, but she’s also afraid of what she’ll become if she doesn’t suppress it, possibly losing control of herself.

    Dorothy’s got about the same thing here, which sort of explains how her relationship with Walky works (along with that “my brain makes me feel guilty for not doing good all the time” thing). Dorothy’s aspiring to be an ideal — a hard-working, hard-studying person who will grow up to be president and be super competent. It’s an admirable ideal, but she can’t push herself all the time. Her relationship with Walky gives her the relaxation she needs, and they’re really at ease in each other’s company — but she still keeps the same control over herself, somewhat. Trying to suppress what doesn’t fit in with that ideal.

    That “half of my brain” line is really good, too — not wanting to play by the system if the system is wrong, but also not wanting to basically ruin everything for you. If you want to get somewhere, I guess all you can do is go along with a stupid rule or requirement and hope to go some way towards changing it when you’ve got the influence to.

    I wonder how Walky and Dorothy’s relationship will wind up. Walky being extremely casual and laid-back and all that, I doubt he’ll pull a Danny and be willing to move location or lifestyle for her (which is probably a comfort to Dorothy, since she wants to have the choice to be independent). Still — if they build up a good and enjoyable relationship, I wonder if Dorothy will be able to just go back to single status like nothing ever happened when college ends. (Probably something will come between them before that, though.)

  30. Steve C

    Not to belittle Dorothy’s dilemma, but I think she’s missing the forest for the trees here. I would think atheism would be a much bigger issue for someone runing for President than how often one got laid back in college. (By the latter standard, I should be Emperor of the World.)

    1. begbert2

      Yeah, if we can shrug off admitted pot use, I’d think that a lively college sex life would draw applause. Particularly twenty years from now.

    2. Rex Hondo

      I was thinking much the same thing.

      1. Charles Phipps

        Yeah, I hate to say it, Dot but you’re already disbarred from the highest office in the land. This isn’t Australia where you can be a single mother, atheist, AND probably vegetarian. This is AMERICA.

        1. David

          Folks woulda said the same thing about being black or Mormon a few years ago. And while atheists still somehow rank below either of those, Dorothy’s thinking thirty years from now, at least.

          Read her cast bio, linked at the top of the site, particularly the last paragraph.

        2. ajm5007

          That reminds me, I owe a friend $20 on account of a bet we had. I said there’d be a woman President before a black one. He took black. We agreed that a black woman would be a push.

        3. ajm5007

          I should have remembered to “always bet on black.”

  31. clodia

    Within a few years, whenever I need to argue with an idiot on the internet over feminism, I’m just going to have a stock of David Willis links to send them instead of having to retype my own arguments.

  32. Kirt Dankmyer

    Turkey jokes aside, that expression in the last panel is *awesome*. Willis, it’s worth reading this strip for the facial expressions *alone*.

  33. Steve C.

    Uh…clarification….I meant by Dorothy’s standard.

  34. Arkadi

    Her FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIST

  35. Sili

    That fist thing?

    How much?

  36. Aegon01

    Maybe I just don’t remember that much, but was Hillary Clinton’s college sex life scrutinized when she ran for President, or did they just skip it because they already got it out of the way when she was First Lady or a Senator?

    1. Melizza

      I don’t remember much about that either, but then again I don’t feel like ever prying into someone’s personal life or past (especially when we’re talking about college and before). But I don’t doubt that some of the stuff she did in her past was brought up during her political career. Once you reach a certain stage of your career, people begin focusing on what you are doing presently or in the recent past than what you did decades ago. Just like with the current president, so many people bring up that he is a pothead (I am nobody to know if this is true) because there are pictures of him smoking when he was in his teens, maybe early twenties. I don’t like the president, but I think it is silly to judge someone’s current character solely based on their past.

  37. Charles Phipps

    Also, frankly, I think Dot should seriously reconsider her potential. Do you know how much POWER she’d have to give up to be President?!

    1. Tarkada

      Nice Luthor quote

  38. adrien

    Dorothy reminds me a a grown-up Susie Derkins.

    1. Jason

      Perfect analogy! Plus one to you.

    2. SUGauthor

      Does that make Danny a grown up Calvin?

  39. Maycroft

    So very true, Dorothy.

  40. Rognik

    I’m pretty sure Walky was basting her last night? (Please tell me no one else made that joke already!)

  41. Jenny Creed

    If you let the prejudices of your people rule you, why would you even want to be their ruler?

  42. Morrison

    Could I get the last panel blown up?

    1. David M Willis

      sure just read it’s walky!

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