237

Best possible thing
Posted on November 24, 2014 by David M Willis

237 thoughts on “Best possible thing”

  1. Jen Aside

    Is it the “I’m gonna get some”?

    1. thebombzen

      Nah, she just can’t even.

      1. Guest Person Dude

        She’s so

    2. Tunaro

      I think it’s Walky who’s gonna get some. Right up the down side of the front side of his backside.

      1. Rachel Roth

        Ooooh Myyyyy

      2. MrSirk

        Soft serve is the cure for near homicidal rage and kind of being an immature asshole.

        1. EmbraceEvil

          And chocalate vanilla swirl is DEATH. TASTY TASTY DEATH

    3. Arthur C. Clarke

      “I’m getting some” is “you.” “Soft serve” is “fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.”

  2. Idon'tcarenomore

    Good Call Walky.

    1. 6Qubed

      lately, “Walky” and “good call” seem to be mutually exclusive

  3. Khaner

    I think Walky just got soft SERVED

    1. thebombzen

      That’s cold.

      1. Tunaro

        Joyce needs to chill.

        1. Disloyal Subject

          But a cold heart might get brittle and break!
          Not that melting in the warmth is much better.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Walky just got Coned.

        3. Rachel Roth

          Can I at least +1 gravitar relevance?

        4. Deanatay

          And Creamed!

      2. Itama

        he’ll be licking that wound for a while.

        1. Stephen Bierce

          And wearing the Cone of Shame.

      3. liahansen

        Joyce knows you can’t be soft with Walky

      4. Yotomoe

        It’ll be hard for him to SHAKE that one off.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          This is what Joyce sounded like: GIVE ME A CONE OF SOFT SERVE

        2. Renshear Blade

          ~bows down~

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          TY TY ^_^

        4. nothri

          I’m glad I’m not the only one who heard that in the “possessed by a demon” voice.

    2. Anonymous Commenter

      Maybe Joyce needs to let the situation Freeze over.
      It’s important that she learns, for things like this, to Let it Go.
      Maybe some Ice-olation would do her some good.
      Then again, Walky is kind of giving this entire “love” thing the Cold Shoulder.

      All right, I’m done for the night

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        “You’re my hero…” *Cameron Frye’s voice*

        1. Dirk Strider's Splinter Hopeself

          But are their your ICE QUEEN?

        2. Dirk Strider's Splinter Hopeself

          how do i misgrammar so hard i hate everything

        3. Dirk Strider's Splinter Hopeself

          how do i misgrammar so hard i hate everything

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Let me guess, you were using a (not so)smart-phone?

  4. Mr. Random

    And now Joyce has red panels.

    1. Doctor_Who

      I want to take that panel and just put other Joyce quotes in the text bubble, see how many of them become sinister sounding in that context.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        I think which ones don’t might be the shorter list.

      2. Kaiden

        “It’s like Twilight, but with Jews instead of Vampires.”

        Eh. Still could be sinister.

      3. Cephalo the Pod

        “While you’re down there, get more boxes”.
        “I’m immune to influence!”
        “At the start of your shower, did you have long hair?”

  5. Rutee

    WILLIS IF YOU WANT ME TO STOP SHIPPING THEM THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF THE CORRECT DIRECTION.

    1. Tunaro

      I did not think I would ever entertain the possibility of Joyce being even remotely capable of Hate-Fucks. Once again, Willis has proven me wrong.

      1. Deanatay

        She hates him so much – she’s ‘cream’ing herself.

    2. auo> mous

      Who are you shipping with whom?
      Or is it a ménage à trois ship?

      1. Rutee

        Joyce\Dotty. Who are YOU shipping?

        1. Golbez

          im shipping the redhead with Joyce. The signs are all there.

  6. beege

    When you have as many hang ups as Joyce does you get *really* good at subtext.

    1. beege

      Implying it, not reading it in others.

  7. ensiform

    I don’t agree with Joyce on much, but I agree that being loved is the best possible gift. Being in a sexual relationship is great, but someone being willing to be vulnerable enough to love you is the best gift.

    1. Yotomoe

      Yeah but if you don’t want it you don’t have much of an option. Unfortunately you can’t regift love…
      Sounds like a country song.

      1. Peruhain

        You obviously never learned the magic penny song in Sunday school. :p

      2. Thomas64

        Who says he doesn’t want it? We are talking about this guy. I think he was blindsided by Dorothy’s change from “this ends the day I leave for Yale (and that day will come)” to “I love you (and who knows what that may imply regarding my plans for the future)”.
        Joyce is mad because she’s projecting her own frustrations onto Walky here. I’m going to hold off on being mad at Walky until he decides not to have a serious talk with Dorothy. The jury is still out.

        1. EmbraceEvil

          I mostly agree with you. Regarding Joyce, I think it’s more like this: She’s mad because Walky screwed up with Dorothy in the whole ” I love you department”. Part of it is her desire for what they have minus the current disaster, another is Dorothy is her best friend. (Apologies if I don’t make sense. SOOOO TIRED)

        2. ensiform

          EE, I think you are missing the highly suppressed desire for Dorothy on Joyce’s part.

        3. EmbraceEvil

          I don’t really have any ships for Joyce. However I do ship Walky and myself. I’m weird that way I guess.

        4. Halloween Jack

          That’s a good point; I’d kind of forgotten about the Yale thing.

    2. chris73

      Only if you’re ready to receive it and it’d have been nice if Dorothy had chosen her time better like not when Walkys been put through the emotional ringer

    3. Masterofbones

      Only if their loving you doesn’t require that you love *only* them. Otherwise they are just being selfish and stupid.

    4. Mally

      True, love is the greatest thing in the world.

      Except for a nice MLT.

  8. Saaaam

    Dorothy gave Walky a lifetime supply of pizza?

    1. cesium133

      He rejected it because it wasn’t a lifetime supply of McNuggets.

      1. cesium133

        Though I should note a lifetime supply of McNuggets isn’t very large because you can’t live long eating nothing but McNuggets.

    2. newllend

      Dorothy gave Walky James Bonds super car?

  9. chris73

    Joyce needs to stfu and grow the hell up…or get some therapy

    1. astraea

      I think Joyce has a good reason to be pissed off. The first guy she liked in college tried to rape her. The second guy she liked can’t love her the way she wants to be loved – the way Walky appears to be loved! And he is, in her opinion, wasting it, and hurting her friend in the process. She’s already struggling with how easy others seem to fall in love around her while she is guilty and frustrated, so Walky brushing it off like no big deal? I’d be mad too!! Yes, she needs therapy. But Walky has absolutely no idea what Joyce has gone through.

      1. EvilPenguin

        “I think Joyce has a good reason to be pissed off. The first guy she liked in college tried to rape her”

        Bwuh? Joe was not the dude at that party. And Mike was punching him every time on that date anyway.

        1. astraea

          Oh yeah, i forgot about Joe. Still, that wasn’t exactly a positive experience either.

      2. pyrophobia

        +1

      3. chris73

        So what? Its a private matter between Walky and Dorothy, her experiences (as bad as they were) are her own and nothing to do with Walky

        She just needs to understand that life isn’t like the Twilight books

        1. astraea

          No, you’re right, it is a private matter. But, in a vulnerable state, it’s easy to project your problems onto someone else. Not the best thing, but a human thing. Plus, Walky isn’t exactly keeping it private himself.
          Also, she’s not exactly ripping his head off here. She’s just barely holding in her frustration, but she’s still walking away “to get soft serve” before she says something nasty, so it’s possible she realizes she’s taking this too seriously – we’ll see next comic.

        2. Deanatay

          Even very moral people don’t always act morally. We are a robot riding a horse, and no matter how hard the robot tugs on the reins, sometimes the horse is gonna do what it needs to do. Joyce is a very controlled person, but she’s very frustrated right now, and those frustrations are starting to leak out.

        3. Yotsuyasan

          Is it a private matter between Walky and Dorothy? Yes.

          Do I blame Joyce for caring about the well being of one of her two best friends, when she feels that fried is wrong? No. (And it probably doesn’t help her current frame of mind that her other best friend is suddenly becoming very chummy with the alleged wronging party…)

        4. Yotsuyasan

          Bloody hell, I need to proof read before hitting “post comment.” That should have read, “when she feels that friend is wronged?” And looking at it now, if I had proof read, I’d probably further have changed it to “has been wronged.”

      4. ChocolateRat

        Well said.

    2. 4th Dimension

      Actually no matter how naive her feelings on how love works, she is correct here. The problem is not that Walky didn’t say he loved Dorothy. The problem is he did, turned that declaration into a stupid joke thus invalidating it, and in the process inadvertently laughed at Dorothy for “having stupid feelings when this should be for fun”. Essentially he trivialized Dotty’s solemn declaration of love. He would have been better off not saying anything.

      1. The_Bionic_Doctor

        yes, this exactly: the problem for Joyce is refusing to take love as something important. I think she would have been appalled by walky seriously saying “sorry, I don’t love you back, but this is not what happened here.

      2. Ghola

        Ehhh… I think it’s kinda a dick move on Dorothy’s part to just drop an “I love you” when she already dropped the “this is just for shit’s and giggles” card. I mean, she’s trying to make a fuck buddies relationship into an actual one, and Walky never signed on for that.

        So he said “I love you” back, then explained how *just saying it* doesn’t mean jack shit. I don’t see how this is a bad thing really, he’s not so much invaliding love, but saying “Yeah, it’s just words, love is probably more then that, putting stock into saying ‘I love you’ is bullshit.”

        1. Yotsuyasan

          I think there was a bit of a problem in how they both handled it.

          Did Dorothy make it clear initially that is was supposed to be a casual relationship, and is she now potentially trying to add more weight to it? Yes. But just because her brain intended one thing, that doesn’t mean her heart might be feeling differently.

          Was Walky maybe a bit blind sided by her declaration of love? Sure he was. And that could excuse him responding in not the best fashion. But the way he did respond was, to be frank, rather tactless.

  10. liahansen

    Can’t decide if jealous because general lack of “I love you”s, or specifically because lack of Dorothy “I love you”s.

  11. Yotomoe

    Joyce must have misheard. Dorothy didn’t give Walky a RACE CAR.

    1. winter

      I know! C’mon Joyce, she didn’t even give him a Velociraptor clone!

      1. Cephalo the Pod

        I don’t see any crates full of Cadbury Dairy Milks.

  12. Jon P

    Paging the “fuck” counter.

    1. desolation0

      It seems so far Walky has gotten one, and said one.

      1. Razzmatazz MacKenzie

        He’s gotten a few more than that, I think.

    2. John

      You called?

      I’m pretty sure that is Walky’s first F-bomb ever. It’s definitely his first of DoA.

      1. TheOthin

        Mouseover certainly says so. That’s interesting; he talks a lot of shit but does it using less outright cuss-y language, I guess.

      2. SinbadEV

        It doesn’t count, it was in quotes.

  13. Wack'd

    Live long and prosper.

  14. Plasma Mongoose

    4th panel Joyce face is most disturbing face.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      I feel her smile is creepier.

      1. hof1991

        Its her dislocated fingers, which break themselves in their barely controlled desire to choke Walky.

  15. newllend

    God damn it ! We were this close from seeing her just Blowing up, but yet again another tease what the hell will it take !

  16. Kernanator

    I never thought I would experience the sentence, “Never before has ‘I’m getting some soft serve’ sounded so much like ‘fuck you'”. And yet, here we are.

    1. auo> mous

      I never thought I would see the sentence “I never thought I would experience the sentence, “Never before has ‘I’m getting some soft serve’ sounded so much like ‘fuck you’.” And yet, here we are,” typed as a comment in a forum.

      1. Deanatay

        And yet, here we are. 🙂

        1. Clif

          Wherever that may be.

        2. Charles

          Bloomington.

  17. caramelundqueer

    I’m trying to decide if Walky has a pretty healthy attitude towards this whole thing of it just reeks of his typical immaturity and allergy to depth/feelings.

    1. Yotomoe

      I like Walky’s chill view on life. I’m pretty passive about a lot of junk cuz I hate stress.

    2. chris73

      Hes probably inadvertently both on this one

    3. sun tzu

      Little bit of column A, large serving of column B.
      Not that Joyce’s attitude is any better.

    4. winter

      He’s handled this pretty immaturely since he told Dorothy he loved her, but that it didn’t mean anything.

      But he’s pretty self-aware about his own immaturity, and sure that he wants a casual relationship where he doesn’t have to act mature.

      So… immature, but in a completely different way than Joyce, who says the stuff she does in panel 1 unironically.

    5. newllend

      I bet he’s thinking,”OK I don’t know how but I fucked up but I can fix it…maybe…probably not I don’t know.”

    6. Cephalo the Pod

      Well Walky’s clearly smitten with her, so I’m gonna go with immaturity.

  18. JessWitt

    I’m using “I’m getting some soft serve” from now on.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      I’d imagine it works okay if you have access to soft serve. Nowhere around my school has it; the closest thing is milkshakes – which are admittedly more portable.

    2. t00lishness

      IRL, I could see it being used for many things.. actually getting ice cream, volleyball, perhaps sex with a person in volleyball, perhaps with ice cream as well as getting sex with a volleyball player.. oh, or tennis in all those situations.. or someone saying that as a sarcastic ‘I just didn’t get served by that weak shit you just said.” …but ‘fuck you’ being an option for that? It’s definitely this situation only.

  19. Sporky

    I feel what she was about to say there was “Do you know how much I envy you?”

    Love like that is the one thing Joyce feels like she can’t have. And by that I mean like, unconditional love (not that I feel Dorothy loves Walky unconditionally but I can see how Joyce would compare Dorothy and Walky as people in her mind and come to that conclusion based on how little she thinks of him). Not lady love. Although maybe lady love too.

    1. Yotomoe

      Walky gets everything everyone wants. That’s just his super power.

      1. Sporky

        But does he get a jetpack

        1. Mr k

          Or a nice roommate?

        2. Yotomoe

          Does anyone in his vicinity want a jetpack?

        3. pyrophobia

          Probably everybody, they just don’t know it yet

        4. James

          And that’s why he hasn’t gotten one.

          Yet.

        5. Dirk Strider's Splinter Hopeself

          Who DOESN’T?

        6. John

          Pretty sure Joyce does. Having (and being able to use) a jetpack was her superpower in the other universe, after all.

        7. Deanatay

          Nope, I value my femurs too much.

  20. Random832

    So… does Joyce think that falling in love with someone is a choice? I mean, she’s clearly not talking about the words in the first panel.

    1. Yotomoe

      Joyce thinks being gay is a choice. Just for perspective.

      1. newllend

        I wonder what she thinks about divorce ?

        1. timemonkey

          She thinks it’s a mistake to be fixed. Remember her date with Joe?

    2. Sporky

      Falling in love is not a choice. Offering someone your love is.

      1. Random832

        not if you don’t love them.

    3. ChocolateRat

      Joyce did say before that loving someone should be a choice according to her pastor, if I recall correctly.

    4. The_Bionic_Doctor

      I’m pretty sure to her the main issue for her is that Walky treated love as unimportant, just as he does for most things in his life (except cartoons, duh).

  21. AgentKeen

    Burgers= existential ennui, soft serve= fuck you, got it.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Therefore fries=drop dead?

      1. winter

        chicken strips = melancholy moping?
        ketchup = bloody evisceration?

        1. Hello!

          buffalo wings = “I enjoy one of the local sports teams.”

          Not all foods are that deep on subtext.

        2. EmbraceEvil

          Cheese fries= enlightenment.
          ALL PRAISE THE CHEESE FRIES

        3. Deanatay

          Chili cheese fries = damnation. Tasty, tasty damnation.

        4. EmbraceEvil

          Eww. Damnation is gross.

  22. Sensedog

    Damn, Joyce literally can’t even…

  23. Jason

    Walky was cursing as a 1-year-old?

    (I know, I know, just let me have my dumb joke)

    1. Stephen Bierce

      As Benny Hill said, “The Count of Monte Cristo cursed the day that he was born”!

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      His first words were “mothafucka”, that’s why you don’t allow young kids to watch Samuel L Jackson. 😛

      1. Yotsuyasan

        Or to hang out with Jay & Silent Bob…

  24. Stephen Bierce

    The gal has a future in grunge music.

  25. Blue Dragon

    Knowing Joyce’s quirks, it would be more accurate to say that Never before has “I’m getting some soft serve” sounded like “fudge you.”

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Chocolate fudge? My favourite!

  26. JessWitt

    You’ll find that “I love you” guy someday, Joyce. It’s clearly not going to be Ethan.

    1. winter

      Ethan’s already that guy! Ethan said he loved her this morning in comic time! And I don’t think he didn’t mean it either!

      But let’s be real: Joyce doesn’t just want love or romance. She wants sex. And Ethan’s never going to be able to give that to her in any satisfactory way.

      I only point this out because Joyce is already becoming aware of this, even if she doesn’t want to admit it, so on some level what she’s saying about love has to be a bit dishonest.

      1. ninja_jesus

        I agree. She’s probably really sexually frustrated, but can’t admit to it so she takes out her frustrations on Walky. Walky, who has everything she doesn’t, but does not meet her expectations on how people should love each other.

  27. Insanenoodlyguy

    This can still get better if somehow Walky and Becky are making out when Joyce gets back.

    1. lordhaw

      Are you trying to push her over the edge…because that would do it. Full on dose of pure psycho Joyce.

      1. Dirk Strider's Splinter Hopeself

        You mean the “Snap and suck a billion dicks-ocaust”

        1. Yotsuyasan

          One can only hope, as it would be the preferable alternative to her slashing one thousand throats in one night…

    2. newllend

      …it sounds like it be risking a lot but I’m so tempted to think about what will happen , and I really want to see her lose it.

  28. Foxhack

    Yyyyyyyyyyep.

    Walky done fucked up.

    1. newllend

      Like he hasn’t already ?

    2. pyrophobia

      Wally Fuckup Count *ding*

    3. Malchus

      I think you mean “dun soft served up.”

  29. ChocolateRat

    Am I the only one who thinks Joyce is really adorable here? I like how she tries to not insult people harshly even if they make her really mad.

    Also, I hoped Becky would be coming here to maybe help Joyce grow and become more open-minded, but I’m starting to think I bet on the wrong person to do that.

    1. lordhaw

      yeah, but she’s clawing the table. She may still be not insulting Walky harshly but she’s VERY angry.

  30. John

    Around these parts, “soft serve ice cream” is called “a creemee”.

    You may start your innuendos.

    1. Kelly

      ew

    2. DSL

      A soft-serve (heh) place on one of my regular travel routes was once called “Whippy Dip.” Then the name was changed to “Xtreme Creme.” I’m sure the new owners thought it was an improvement.

  31. Gangler

    Joyce, that’s the exact opposite of how gifts work. If you give somebody something they don’t want that’s a bad gift. Possibly a thoughtless gift. An object’s value as a gift is determined by how much it will be appreciated by the person you’re giving it to. It’s not a good gift just because somebody else really wanted it.

    1. Gangler

      I feel like this is the sort of stuff they teach in children’s television. Clean up after yourself. Sharing is caring. Give thoughtful gifts. That’s gotta come up even in whatever Christian Media she was exposed to, right? At some point there must’ve been an episode where Chastity Churchmouse wanted to give Hymmel a chastity belt but Jesus pulled her aside and said “How would he wear it? Think about what he would like” and they ended up getting him a bookmark with his favorite bible verse written on it.

      1. John

        She must have missed that episode. She apparently missed the seventy-nine where they reinforced the lesson that the greatest gift of all is the love of Jesus, and mere mortal love pales in comparison, so don’t let your love for your friends stop you from getting out there and proselytizing to them until they convert or stop talking to you!

  32. Peruhain

    “Autodog,” as we used to call it in the Navy, is definitely the best possible thing. To understand the “autodog” moniker, think chocolate. It’s even better slang than a “creemee.”

  33. pyrophobia

    We have more Joyce expressions being good candidates for that How Are You Feeling Today? poster – red panel = the ‘FUCK YOU’ face

  34. newllend

    OK time

    1. newllend

      Time to mention one small detail…it only been a month, its still moving to fast, at the beginning of all this they both were thinking ” I got no time for no relationship nor do I want one,” and now this.

      1. tinfoil theory

        I don’t know.

        Joyce started out seeking sophistication through getting her Mrs degree, and Walky came here get his Bachelor status certified. (Though not necessarily in the sense of a “confirmed bachelor”, if you know what I mean.) None of that seems to have changed. Joyce is less susceptible to hickups (sic) about her hang-ups, and to Walky the mysteries of women are no longer unknown, that is all. Or am I missing something?

  35. Boomwolf

    Well… She is angry…

    1. newllend

      What’s new when Walky and Joyce hang out ?

  36. zmm

    Nega-Joyce is growing stronger

    1. Yotsuyasan

      Nega-Joyce is actually just a really nice gal. She and Joyce are gonna get brunch next week. They actually have a lot in common.

  37. Kirby

    I think we might’ve reached (at least one of the) meanings of the storyline title.

  38. newllend

    Oh Joyce you have no idea how much I needed this:
    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2Oy6DwHAi70

  39. MrSirk

    Even Becky’s looking a little like “Walky you might of just I’m getting some soft served up a bit.”

  40. Leadsynth

    Somehow I doubt this will end in ice cream kisses.

  41. Reflex76

    Walky certainly dropped an F-bomb in Walky Performs a Sex.

  42. Reflex76

    Well, Dorothy gave Walky great head, I guess that counts as a gift.

    1. Bill

      According to the Slipshine, Dorothy gave Walky quite a bit more than that.

  43. Reflex76

    Of course it sounded like it, there was the silent F . . . and silent U . . . and silent C . . . and K . . . and Y . . . and second U.

  44. RED

    never knew i could dislike Walky

  45. NinjaNick

    *backs away from Demonic Joyce*

  46. etybolik

    Soft serve, Joyce? Pfft. Froyo’s where it’s at.

    1. Vorkon

      Frozen Yogurt is great, but “froyo” tastes like pretentious hipster bullshit.

  47. zebrathinker

    While Joyce’s idea of love is definitely misguided and naive, Walky needs to take love more seriously. before he does something to REALLY fuck up his relationship.

    1. ninja_jesus

      The fact is that he doesn’t need to, based on how Dorothy outlined the relationship in the beginning. A “for fun” relationship is meant to be casual and non-committal, especially since Dorothy plans to leave for Yale.

      1. timemonkey

        Then now Walky needs to understand that sometimes circumstances change and he needs to decide whether he wants the new situation or not. Attempting to blow it off with a joke does not work.

      2. MrSirk

        Honestly that second panel sums it up. It’s not important to him. He was showing some real progress too: apologizing to Sal, worrying about Billie, but he still has growing up to do. He at least needs to learn to read a fucking situation. It’s called “tact” Walky.

  48. a4lbi

    And in that moment, I swear I was Joyce.

  49. Plan D

    I’m wondering if this is actually not all about love and more that Joyce thinks Dorothy handed Walky her v-card.

    1. timemonkey

      Pretty sure Joyce already knew that. Dorothy has acknowledged not being a virgin in Joyce’s presence but I don’t think Joyce reacted much s they weren’t really hanging out at the time.

      1. EmbraceEvil

        Lies. Wherever there is premarital hanky-panky, Joyce is there.

      2. John

        Walky caught the implication here, but Joyce may not have; she was a little distracted. I don’t recall if it’s come up otherwise. Joyce certainly knows that Dorothy’s banging Walky, though.

        I’m sticking with the theory that Joyce is upset because she wants Dorothy to say she loves her, and that’s what she can’t get out in panel three.

        1. EmbraceEvil

          My comment was actually a (failed) joke. I know all that.

        2. John

          My comment wasn’t addressed to you in any way.

  50. Bill

    Soft serve.

  51. Morty

    Lesbi-honest here Joyce; you’d be less mad if Walky wasn’t dating Dorothy

  52. oldFart

    Oh, I totally get where Joyce is at. Where I work, they constantly *throw away* hardware that minions like me can’t afford, and wish we could have. Sooo frustrating, yet pales in comparison to someone who trivializes love like Walky. Really, I think the “Fuck You” is going both ways. The megacorporation is like, “Oh, wish you could have a monitor like this? Too bad, it’s getting recycled, loser!” An’ Walky is all like, “Wish you could have Dorothy’s love? PHHHHHHHHHT! It’s not worth nothin’!”

  53. David

    Next scene: Joyce hysterically shouting “fudge you, fudge you, fudge you” while she coldly fudges Walky front and behind.

    And on slipshine: “the battering”.

  54. begbert2

    The phrase “I love you” is only a great gift if you feel the same way in return. I have had that fact pounded into me by being the one saying it to somebody who doesn’t feel it.

    This does not mean that Dorothy shouldn’t feel the way she does. Feelings aren’t something you should apologize for. I am critical of Joyce for yet again choosing not to consider Walky’s feelings about things. This is less egregious than when she got him back together with Dorothy just because he wasn’t allowed to choose who he dumps, but it’s the same line of thinking.

    1. David

      The phrase “I love you” is only a great gift if you don’t feel the same way in return. It’s like someone handing you a blank check. If you feel the same, you won’t cash in on it but still have the responsibility and worry associated with its safekeeping. And you’ll always be worrying whether your own blank check could be considered an adequate return.

      1. begbert2

        Only if you’re a horrible, manipulative human being who likes seeing others suffer.

        1. David

          For some people it’s much more cheap and ephemeral to state “I love you” than it is for others to hear it. That does not mean that the statement was made with malicious intent.

          It’s like “I’m comfortable leaving this chest in your house”. You have no idea what may be in there and whether it is a good idea to go out ever again. And a year later, you find you have been guarding tennis balls. Which explains why anyone would feel no large discomfort leaving them under your guard.

          There was never any statement about just what was supposed in that chest. “Love” is like a chest: you just don’t have a way to know what is supposed to be the content, and it is tabu talking about it or prying the lid open.

        2. begbert2

          Hmm. I am forced to concede that the definition of “love” is so fuzzy and lacking in consensus that there is a margin of plausibility in your argument. “I love chocolate” and “I love my mom” have muddied the meaning enough that it’s sort of believable that somebody could say, “I have mild regard for you. Now guard my tennis balls, sucker!” and run cackling off into the night.

          However, in America, the phrase, “I love you” when said in something resembling a romantic relationship, has something approaching a supernatural power to it. (A fact which Walky specifically referenced while actively defying it.) A woman can say “I love you” and mean it causally, but she’d be wise to quickly qualify it with something like “like a brother” or “as a friend” because scientific studies have shown that men WILL take it the wrong way. And a man who thinks the phrase is “cheap and ephemeral” is pretty much always a woman-tricking douchebag, because (as Walky said), we *know* what the phrase means in a relationship. (Even Walky knows it’s not ephemeral; he was just is trying to buck the system to avoid getting dragged to a level or relationship which would hurt more later.)

  55. vmgx

    Becky! What are you planing!? What are you waiting for?! The goddamit suspense!!!

  56. Martin Smith

    So… countdown to Walky and Becky slipshining it?

    1. David

      You mean, like, a hate fudge?

      1. David

        Oops, wait, you said Becky and Walky? Becky isn’t the one exhibiting strong feelings about Walky here.

  57. NobodySpecial

    Achievement unlocked: Possessed!

    1. Kim

      Yaaay 😀

  58. Swoop

    Joyce is so badass.

    1. WikiDreamer

      I know right!? Who else but here to make something like ice cream sound so badass!?

  59. hof1991

    Becky seems amazing *unsurprised* by this side of Joyce. As her oldest friend, maybe she has seen this before from Joyce.

  60. Robert

    Just in case the point hasn’t been made clear enough: Walky is an idiot.

    1. Kelly

      not really…

    2. chris73

      Walky is about 18? Its acknowledged by all, especially Dorothy, that hes immature, Dorothy said it was a relationship for fun and then she springs I love you on him after hes been put through (for him) the emotional ringer about worry for his oldest friend

      Hes an idiot yes, hes immature yes but in this instance Dorothy (and Joyce) need to take thier share of the blame for this situation

  61. Paul1963

    Is that the tone Joyce uses when responding to “Happy Holidays!” with “Merry Christmas?” I hope she’s not one of those people, even though her super-Christy background suggests she might be.

  62. Clif

    Awww! Walky is learning to speak fluent Joyce.

  63. Vorkon

    The best part of all this is that I’m sure Dorothy’s just in her room studying, without any clue that anybody is freaking out, or even moderately upset about all this.

    (I mean, seriously, she even said she EXPECTED Walky not to be ready for what she said. She was probably moderately disappointed for a few minutes, and then forgot about it.)

  64. Charles Phipps

    I think the problem is Walky thinks Dorothy is a great girlfriend but, no, he doesn’t love her.

    That’s the tragic part (for Dorothy).

    Dorothy is Danny.

    I look forward to that realization.

    1. Gamaran Sepudomyn

      That…that’s…that’s just perfect. And not in a sarcastic sense, either.

  65. phroggonalog

    look, keep defending walky, walkydefenders – we know it’s out of your own secret shame

  66. walden

    Ok, I’m sorry… but it’s been at least two or three weeks since Dorothy and Walky started hooking up. It was RIGHT after Dorothy and Danny broke up, and even though their relationship wasn’t strong, Dorothy still jumped into another relationship with someone. And then she says “I love you” REALLY soon, and is hurt that Walky can’t reciprocate. If anything, with the maturity and knowledge Dorothy has, she seems really inexperienced with relationships if she can’t draw or define the line between casual/serious. If anything, it was certainly obvious Walky was okay with casual.

    Joyce has ‘been’ there, or experienced publicly, the Walky/Dorothy relationship. She has a limited but fractured, or repressed, sexuality. But, she’s overreacting at this point a bit – though I can understand a point of her frustration through reading some of the comments.

    Even if Walky has immature tendencies, he was relatively calm about the whole relationship. Joyce (and Mike in one instance) really put pressure on the relationship for him. I mean, good lord, even if it’s casual what’s the point of butting yourself into their relationship like that? Why does Walky have to love her so soon? Give him (and her) some more room to be themselves as a person and discover why they love themselves, and how they see that in other people.

    That’s a great/bad thing about this comic. There’s so much drama in real life situations packed onto these characters, but they react so dramatically and hastily, that the audience can see where their faults lie.

  67. OmegaDez

    The part where Walky is slowly realizing than dealing with women is way harder than watching cartoons.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      That is so true it hurts.

  68. Lauren

    Augh, since when do I relate to Joyce?

    What the hell is going on here?!

  69. 2K

    For a little moment, I thought that Joyce would become in She-Hulk.
    -You… you… AAARRGGG!!! JOYCE SMASH!! JOYCE SMASH!!

  70. Kugai

    Darth Joyce

  71. Jim

    “I see ya drivin’ round town with the girl I love, and I’m like, ‘I’m getting some soft serve.'”

    … doesn’t have the same punch.

  72. ninja_jesus

    I wonder if Becky still thinks this is the same Joyce.

  73. Shawn L.

    Ah, that level of frustration and rage that can only be expressed in the form of a non-sequitur.

    “Thats it! I’m boiling eggs!”

  74. Nobody

    …Really, Walky? Because to me it sounded like “I am mere inches from strangling you with your own intestines.”

    1. Lanval

      I was thinking more “I’m mere seconds from…”.

      Because technically, she’s at least a couple feet away from his Intestines.

  75. Tenn

    That’s divine fury.

  76. chris73

    Joyce is so infuriating with her arrogance…yet I can’t stop reading this to see what happens.

    This strip is like a rorschach test all on its own

    1. MxJosh

      She’s not arrogant, more misguided than anything else, but I don’t see any arrogance in her. Everything she does is pretty genuine

  77. Lanval

    Does this mean Mike would get soft serve with your Mother for a Nickel?

  78. Ulzur

    Wow, Joyce ragequitting IRL. I am agog.

  79. Sam

    I am sad for Dorothy. She got involved too much and is now hurt. It will be tough, but I think she will get over this soon.

    Walky comes off as, well, immature…and that;s not exactly new information. I wish he had handled the situation a bit more tactfully. Hopefully, he will realize his mistake, learn from it.

  80. Raibean

    Joyce calls Dorothy’s love “the best possible thing anyone could be given”
    I know we joke a lot about Joyce having romantic feelings for Dorothy but this is the first time I, a bisexual woman, have seriously considered it

  81. Lord Geovanni

    I’m kinda with Joyce on this some of us can’t even meet decent girls but walky can almost throw them away

  82. Tualha

    Oy. Oy. Oy. Are those words ever going to come back to haunt her.

  83. TheGrumpyBear

    Emotions. Such silly things. …..and now I want some soft serve. Vanilla. With hot fudge.

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