Narrator: Historians now believe that this was the turning point that set young Rebecca MacIntyre on her new path. Soon the fires of revolution would burn and the bloody reign of Tyrant Empress Becky I would begin. Although the human race would survive, and civilization begin to rebuild, as we toil in the ashes and gaze upon the blood red sky, we can all agree on one thing: This is all Dorothy’s fault!
I mean, I’d say that just deciding in freshman term to transfer into Yale out of nowhere, with no resources worth speaking of save a fixed scholarship, isn’t a very workable plan…
… but Becky DID become a congresswoman’s campaign manager at age 18, by a mix of dumb luck and sheer badassery.
And as such she is in a better position to get into Yale than Dorothy, because Yale receives thousands of applications that look identical to Dorothy’s more or less every semester. You get into a school like Yale by standing out, and by gum Becky does that! Sure she would have to meet the minimum requirements, which it is fairly probable that she currently doesn’t, but after a semester or two there is a very real possibility that she could. I don’t actually know what the requirements for Yale are, but I’m assuming they are largely GPA based, likely some kind of academic competency proof, etc. (I doubt Becky did super great on the SATs, but those aren’t usually a requirement, or at least a firm one, for transfers from other universities, otherwise there wouldn’t be much point in reapplying after getting rejected once)
All hail Tyrant Empress Becky McIntyre, First of Her Name, Bride of Dinosaurs, Destructor of Closets, Goddess-Queen of America, Tremble or Be Destroyed?
The best thing about this strategy is that Becky will never know if Dorothy is playing the long con. Or maybe she will in 20 to 30 years when Dorothy’s president and her house is seized via imminent domain.
A logical person can’t survive big dreams like that without a little insight/acceptance that her big dreams might not come true. She’s trying her very best, but there are a ton of factors outside of her control, many people have attempted and failed, etc.
Dorothy’s just cool for trying anyway.
A Dorothy who wasn’t realistic about her chances that she might not get into Yale would be a Dorothy who hadn’t researched extensively and planned accordingly, and that wouldn’t be Dorothy at all.
I mean I don’t think Becky ACTUALLY hates Dorothy, but Willis has said that Becky sees it as “we’re gonna be frenemies or else I’ll actually start to dislike you.” So, meh.
Cmon Dorothy, at least play long, it’s more fun that way. “Ah yes I truly hate you Becky, that’s why I’m giving you the slightly smaller slice of pizza. MWAHAHAHA!”
I admit it, Becky. I’m more diabolical than you can understand. And I’ll tell you a secret. Joyce doesn’t even know this. How could she not? I don’t know, but she doesn’t. Listen: she’s in love with me. She loves you like a sister, but she head-over-heels for me. And she’ll never have me. Imagine the control I can wield. Imagine the years of torture. And here’s some real torture for you: she’ll never love you as she loves me. Never. No matter how you try. No matter how you yearn. Never. She’s mine. She’ll run to me at the crook of a finger. And before long, I’ll separate her from you altogether. How do you like them apples, sweetheart?
This makes me feel less pissed at Becky since it’s looking like Dorothy plays along. IE She hasn’t told Becky off or to cut it out, she just… Rolls with it. So either Dorothy needs to actually tell Becky to cut it out, or Dorothy actually sees it as a fun bonding activity
95 thoughts on “Bff”
Ana Chronistic
“Your fake beef is so salty, Becky”
Jake'm
It’s an older way of keeping the beef preserved, and is less cold than the alternative, but will definitely make it taste worse as a result.
Needfuldoer
Fake Beef? There’s a version of Beef running around with buck teeth and huge, bushy eyebrows?
Doctor_Who
Becky: So I have only one recourse…
Dorothy:/ Be civil to m-
Becky: Get into Yale myself before you can!
Narrator: Historians now believe that this was the turning point that set young Rebecca MacIntyre on her new path. Soon the fires of revolution would burn and the bloody reign of Tyrant Empress Becky I would begin. Although the human race would survive, and civilization begin to rebuild, as we toil in the ashes and gaze upon the blood red sky, we can all agree on one thing: This is all Dorothy’s fault!
Reltzik
I mean, I’d say that just deciding in freshman term to transfer into Yale out of nowhere, with no resources worth speaking of save a fixed scholarship, isn’t a very workable plan…
… but Becky DID become a congresswoman’s campaign manager at age 18, by a mix of dumb luck and sheer badassery.
…. I’m scared now.
Psychie
And as such she is in a better position to get into Yale than Dorothy, because Yale receives thousands of applications that look identical to Dorothy’s more or less every semester. You get into a school like Yale by standing out, and by gum Becky does that! Sure she would have to meet the minimum requirements, which it is fairly probable that she currently doesn’t, but after a semester or two there is a very real possibility that she could. I don’t actually know what the requirements for Yale are, but I’m assuming they are largely GPA based, likely some kind of academic competency proof, etc. (I doubt Becky did super great on the SATs, but those aren’t usually a requirement, or at least a firm one, for transfers from other universities, otherwise there wouldn’t be much point in reapplying after getting rejected once)
Jamie
Eh. Still an improvement on 2020.
BBCC
I’ve seen the US’ government options. She can’t possibly be worse.
Deanatay
So, you’re saying…
All hail Tyrant Empress Becky McIntyre, First of Her Name, Bride of Dinosaurs, Destructor of Closets, Goddess-Queen of America, Tremble or Be Destroyed?
Pedantic Jerkass
Yes. Yes, I am.
Legasher
With honorifics like that, I’m in.
Regalli
Those are some cute Dorothy faces, though.
clif
Yeah, I love the byplay between these two.
woobie
They should just kiss already.
Sirksome
The best thing about this strategy is that Becky will never know if Dorothy is playing the long con. Or maybe she will in 20 to 30 years when Dorothy’s president and her house is seized via imminent domain.
Agemegos
Well that won’t happen soon.
King Daniel
That’s why it’s called “the long con”
Agemegos
Also, it’s why it’s called “eminent domain”.
It was a pune, or play on words.
Reltzik
Puns aren’t plays on words. Thespian dramatizations of the dictionary are plays on words.
King Daniel
You can also substitute a stage made out of stacked dictionaries, upon which the actors stand.
Reltzik
Or a story about sworn oaths.
Sev
If they’re just standing on the dictionaries, it’s not a play on words, just a bunch of players on words.
Ryek Hvek
if the words are talking smack, then you have players on heroin
clif
Talk about a crack theory.
Opus the Poet
And another example of why this comments section needs some kind of upvote system to save space in the comments.
I wouldn’t have to do this if I could just click the upvote button.
Plain Marie
Yessss. I need an upvote button for this thread. Here, have a lingot for each of you!
abysswatcher1993
This isn’t Homestuck and Dorothy isn’t your kismesis, Becky.
Varangian
I mean IDK, I’d hypothetically read a Slipshine entitled “Dorothy and Becky Hatefuck Spectacularly“
RowenMorland
It could be Becky’s equivalent to Joyce’s ‘sex’ dream.
Sporky
Yeah, Dorothy is clearly pale-flirting, this just ain’t gonna work.
Jhon
Pale what? (Google has failed me.)
LiterallyJustSomeGuy
The pale comment is continuing the Homestuck reference. The pale quadrant is sort of like best friendship: https://mspaintadventures.fandom.com/wiki/Quadrants
RowenMorland
EB: oh god, the quadrants…
Leorale
Dorothy really is a perfect cinnamon roll.
Joseph Picard
What?
Varangian
…Damn, Dotty, your diplomacy game is smooth as silk, girl
Now you just gotta stop breaking yourself with overwork and get more disillusioned about politics
Agemegos
Do kids at college still play Diplomacy®?
Reltzik
I think they play Among Us. All the backstabbing, distrust, conspiring, and broken friendships of Diplomacy, all crammed into just a few minutes.
StClair
and only one three-letter word, “sus”, to remember.
Nono
Dorothy seems oddly.. calm at the prospect of never getting into Yale.
Agemegos
It’s a front! Quick, dope her to the eyeballs with Prozac and put her on suicide watch!
Wizard
If this is a sign of developing a healthier, more realistic life view, I welcome it. But what are the chances of that, around here?
Leorale
A logical person can’t survive big dreams like that without a little insight/acceptance that her big dreams might not come true. She’s trying her very best, but there are a ton of factors outside of her control, many people have attempted and failed, etc.
Dorothy’s just cool for trying anyway.
Reltzik
A Dorothy who wasn’t realistic about her chances that she might not get into Yale would be a Dorothy who hadn’t researched extensively and planned accordingly, and that wouldn’t be Dorothy at all.
StClair
Play. Uh huh. Right.
PB
I mean I don’t think Becky ACTUALLY hates Dorothy, but Willis has said that Becky sees it as “we’re gonna be frenemies or else I’ll actually start to dislike you.” So, meh.
StClair
I think Becky tells herself a lot of things.
Stephen Bierce
As my Mum would call it, “Sweet ’em till their teeth rot out.”
Rabid Rabbit
There’s even a Bible verse about it! “Be nice to your enemies, because it really, really burns them.”
Not a direct quote, of course. The original was something about pouring coals onto their heads, I think. St. Paul was such a nice guy.
Robbie
I want to marry Dorothy.
Too bad she’s straight….and a cartoon character.
Robbie
And like, wayyyy to young for me now thanks to the sliding time scale
FacelessDeviant
And probably not ready to marry because she’s prioritizing her career.
And that you’d have to fight Joyce all day, every day if you did marry her.
anonymsly
Becky, I do love you, but I don’t need to compare you to anybody in order for you to look like a jerk these past couple of strips.
Emperor Norton II
Prediction: Dorothy will tell Joyce first. Becky will not be amused that she wasn’t the first to know after all. Shenanigans will ensue*.
*The shenanigans will have nothing to do with this. It’s just that when Becky is near, shenanigans will happen. That’s a law of the universe.
Reltzik
That’s merely a corollary. The actual law of the Dumbingverse is that shenanigans happen, regardless of who’s near.
Sunny
What if noone is near?
Reltzik
Then we can’t tell whether shenanigans are happening or not. So take your pick. Do you prefer the Anthropic Principle or the Copernican Principle?
Jhon
If shenanigans happen in a an empty forest, is there a tree?
clif
Only a pointer to an empty tree.
Jonah Sanville
god i love dorothy
Lingo
Cmon Dorothy, at least play long, it’s more fun that way. “Ah yes I truly hate you Becky, that’s why I’m giving you the slightly smaller slice of pizza. MWAHAHAHA!”
Lingo
Gotta bring that Sydney Yus energy!
Lingo
*play along
Agemegos
Dorothy makes you look like a jerk? She may be diabolical, but she is no illusionist.
BBCC
Well, I’d say Dorothy won that round.
Reltzik
The only winning move is not to play.
BarerMender
I admit it, Becky. I’m more diabolical than you can understand. And I’ll tell you a secret. Joyce doesn’t even know this. How could she not? I don’t know, but she doesn’t. Listen: she’s in love with me. She loves you like a sister, but she head-over-heels for me. And she’ll never have me. Imagine the control I can wield. Imagine the years of torture. And here’s some real torture for you: she’ll never love you as she loves me. Never. No matter how you try. No matter how you yearn. Never. She’s mine. She’ll run to me at the crook of a finger. And before long, I’ll separate her from you altogether. How do you like them apples, sweetheart?
clif
I bet you’re a lot of fun at parties.
Icalasari
This makes me feel less pissed at Becky since it’s looking like Dorothy plays along. IE She hasn’t told Becky off or to cut it out, she just… Rolls with it. So either Dorothy needs to actually tell Becky to cut it out, or Dorothy actually sees it as a fun bonding activity
CJ