Elan the Bard from Order of the Stick has taught me the importance of turning up in the nick of time. Not before, not after, the exact nick of time.
Also, using puns while you fight can allow you to add your Charisma modifier to damage if you have the right class feature. Explains Spider-Man’s success!
Amazi-Girl probably doesn’t have a higher Cha than Str though. Also puns would be more in line for Danny or Drew since they are bisexual and as we all know, we bisexuals love things that can be taken both ways.
Spider-Man once explained that he does it to disrupt his opponents chain of thoughts and bait them into making mistakes. To me that more sounds like giving them a five penalty
If I recall, Spiderman’s quips actually serve two purposes:
1) It annoys his opponents, making them more likely to make mistakes out of anger
2) It distracts him. One time, he goes nigh on dead silent and delivers an incredibly brutal beatdown
The thing about Spider-Man is that he is very good at what he does. He regularly takes on the Sinister Six, which is 6 of his toughest foes teaming up against him. Which means they aren’t actually that tough to him, since he can win against 6 of them at once. He jokes in combat because he can, and if you can, why wouldn’t you?
Madock345
Yeah, Spider-Man Is usually swinging *way* below his actual weight class. He’s one of the strongest superheroes and has a Rogues Gallery full of street-level criminals. It’s just what he likes to do. His regular villains like Rhino can’t even hit hard enough to seriously hurt him if he laid on the ground and just let them go at it.
He Who Abides
Rhino likely could do some serious damage to Spider-Man if he could lay a fist on him (super strength is one of his powers, if I remember correctly), but there’s precious few others that stand a real threat to the wallcrawler. Vermin, Lizard, Venom, Kingpin, and Green Goblin are the only other frequent regulars who seem like a legitimate threat, though I’m certainly forgetting a few.
Solarn
Yeah, it’s not so much that Spidey’s villains can’t hurt him, most of them do pose a threat to him in some way. It’s that very few of them actually have the ability to force him into a situation where they can take advantage of that.
The Rhino can beat him down if Spidey let him… but how is he going to make Spidey do that? Kraven can stalk him and set up a perfect ambush… but what is he going to do once Spidey’s in the trap? Etc.
On the other hand, you can also observe this having a similar effect on the villains as the Flash had on the Rogues in the Wally West era: the constant struggle made them really good at covering their weaknesses and countering their nemesis, and when faced with a less powerful foe they turned out to be able to punch way above their supposed weight class.
Wizard
Rhino is much stronger than Spiderman, and would beat him to a pulp if Spidey were dumb enough to go for a toe-to-toe slugfest. That’s why Spiderman usually uses his superior speed and agility for a stick-and-move approach, or just lets the Rhino beat himself up by taunting him into a charge only to duck out of the way. (Rhino is capable of brief bursts of superhuman speed, but his tremendous mass and limited agility mean he can’t easily stop or change directions once he’s committed.)
Freemage
He’s also canonically one of the top geniuses in the Marvel Universe. Top-notch labs can’t replicate the web-fluid; he created the tracer devices capable of attuning to his spider-sense–hell he once built a Doctor Doom-style time machine… out of freakin’ kitchen appliances. And much of this was in high school, or as a college drop-out. Imagine what he would be if he’d been, say, given the advantages of a Tony Stark or Reed Richards from the get-go.
wilddeath
Let’s not forget that he is not bullet proof. In a recent issue he took a bullet for someone and it really messed him up. He powered through it but the bloodloss took him out of the next fight til he recovered and received medical treatment. Yes his spider-sense usually keeps him out of harms way when it comes to bullets but they can still fuck him up.
JBento
The Sinister Six is small potatoes. Spider-Man once took out two 25%s of the fucking Phoenix Force by talking to them when it had taken all of the non-mutant Marvel heavyweights to take out one 20%.
Another plus to his constant quipping is that it makes his opponents forget that Peter Parker is actually one of the top intellects of the Marvel Universe, not just in science but also, unlike people like Reed Richards, in PEOPLE.
Honey Bun attack while they were visiting his parents, IIRC. That’s also when Amber realized Mike had real feeling for her, after some of his old SEMME colleagues mentioned that nobody makes Mike do much of anything he doesn’t want to.
NickG
Just reread that storyline in the SP! archives, Mike’s Spidey moment to save SG is so great.
Savail
I meant being reminded of that was odd. I remember why they teamed up haha!
Bloody hell, Blaine has a raging murderboner… Mike shouted he was being chased to like four people who definitely heard him on the way there, does he really think nobody is gonna try and check that out?
I thought he was only banned *after* he pulled that stunt? I could be mistaken though
CJ
No, Ruth knew him from a list of people who where not allowed in. I suspect there is a court order he’s not allowed around Amber.
thejeff
That was a list of Approved Family Members that he wasn’t on. One assumes submitted by the students as part of the acceptance paperwork.
I don’t know of any solid evidence of any court orders or legal restraints on either of them. We can hope that Ross’s bail terms included “stay away from your daughter”, but it hasn’t been stated.
HMRC4EVR
After reading a few of those linked strips, I’m wondering if Blane is smart enough to remember he saw a grappling hook in Amber’s closet (if AG uses it) and puts two and two together.
Of course he might not believe it even if he makes the connection, figuring Amber is too weak-willed to be AG (aka there’s now way a guy like Clark Kent could be Superman).
Carla’s pretty savvy, like when Billie suggested that Mary might be picking on her because she liked her and she immediately went, ‘no, this is not Hey Arnold’.
vitalProximity
Ooooh, good point. I miss Carla, feels like we haven’t seen her in forever. Lol I think that’s why I like her so much too. She’s like Mike except less committed to appearing malicious and cynical, even though she’s like to think they’re at least equal. Actually, I think her desired persona is more “aloof/superior and indifferent” than Mike’s “prickly and indifferent”. Mike doesn’t care about what people think of hon, as long as they know he’s an asshole; Carla wants everyone to know she’s WAY smarter, prettier, more badass, and just generally awesomer than them (which, to be fair, is typically true ❤️), and any time or attention she generously gives to one of you puny mortals is a gift they’re unworthy of. But she’s not like a Vriska Serket or anything where she’s so determined to believe it herself that she masquerades as an actual narcissist, which is good. Anyway, I also enjoy that her sense of humor is different than Mike’s. They both like giving with people, but his skill is people and hers is engineering, which leads to some fabulous hijinks. ❤️ I love both of them! And also think it’s hilarious that she clearly respects his skill and is determined to have him acknowledge her own, and is pissed off that he won’t. ?
vitalProximity
*what people think of him 🙂
vitalProximity
…*both like fucking with people 😛
HMRC4EVR
If Carla was let in on the secret, she might could make AG some incredible gear.
thejeff
Carla’s also far more transparent about not really being an asshole. Any number of times she’s helped people out or checked up on them.
I think the asshole facade is pure defense on her part. Much safer to have people dislike the facade than hate her for who she is.
Eh, I still say “get rescued by Amazigirl” is a dumb plan, and I’m a little disappointed it worked. Although if AeromechanicalAce is correct, it’s at least slightly less dumb.
People can be crazy creative, but there is a huge lack of good KP mash-ups. A mash-up with Tag Team would have been killer, but I am just left weeping.
Also, it IS a dang perfect might-have-been theme for Amazi-Girl or Sal.
238 thoughts on “Bluffing”
Ana Chronistic
Mess with
the catMike, you get theclawsASS-KICKENJohn
I think you’re getting him mixed up with Hooper.
DarkoNeko
your avatar betrays
Deanatay
T3h kittehs are unhap
Fud them, snuggle them, til they hap again.
Van Jealous
“Mess with the Girl! And You get THE HITLER!” (sorry for the Venture Bros. reference folks; Couldn’t help myself). https://gifer.com/en/163T
Doctor_Who
Elan the Bard from Order of the Stick has taught me the importance of turning up in the nick of time. Not before, not after, the exact nick of time.
Also, using puns while you fight can allow you to add your Charisma modifier to damage if you have the right class feature. Explains Spider-Man’s success!
King Daniel
Amazi-Girl really needs to multiclass into Dashing Swordsman.
SmartAlec105
Amazi-Girl probably doesn’t have a higher Cha than Str though. Also puns would be more in line for Danny or Drew since they are bisexual and as we all know, we bisexuals love things that can be taken both ways.
ValdVin
Mike certainly has some of Elan’s genre savviness.
Doctor_Who
If he were bigger on overly elaborate plans, evil monologues, and goatees, one could mistake Mike for Nale.
…Would that make Drunk Mike Elan? That makes an odd amount of sense.
King Daniel
Has Drunk Mike ever turned invisible?
Doctor_Who
I for one haven’t seen him in a while.
Clif
Good point.
Deanatay
Only when he’s naked.
Abdomino
Mike’s competent though. Has more in common with Wrong-Eye than that pile of dust anyway.
Mydnyt
Spider-Man once explained that he does it to disrupt his opponents chain of thoughts and bait them into making mistakes. To me that more sounds like giving them a five penalty
Icalasari
If I recall, Spiderman’s quips actually serve two purposes:
1) It annoys his opponents, making them more likely to make mistakes out of anger
2) It distracts him. One time, he goes nigh on dead silent and delivers an incredibly brutal beatdown
Viktoria
The thing about Spider-Man is that he is very good at what he does. He regularly takes on the Sinister Six, which is 6 of his toughest foes teaming up against him. Which means they aren’t actually that tough to him, since he can win against 6 of them at once. He jokes in combat because he can, and if you can, why wouldn’t you?
Madock345
Yeah, Spider-Man Is usually swinging *way* below his actual weight class. He’s one of the strongest superheroes and has a Rogues Gallery full of street-level criminals. It’s just what he likes to do. His regular villains like Rhino can’t even hit hard enough to seriously hurt him if he laid on the ground and just let them go at it.
He Who Abides
Rhino likely could do some serious damage to Spider-Man if he could lay a fist on him (super strength is one of his powers, if I remember correctly), but there’s precious few others that stand a real threat to the wallcrawler. Vermin, Lizard, Venom, Kingpin, and Green Goblin are the only other frequent regulars who seem like a legitimate threat, though I’m certainly forgetting a few.
Solarn
Yeah, it’s not so much that Spidey’s villains can’t hurt him, most of them do pose a threat to him in some way. It’s that very few of them actually have the ability to force him into a situation where they can take advantage of that.
The Rhino can beat him down if Spidey let him… but how is he going to make Spidey do that? Kraven can stalk him and set up a perfect ambush… but what is he going to do once Spidey’s in the trap? Etc.
On the other hand, you can also observe this having a similar effect on the villains as the Flash had on the Rogues in the Wally West era: the constant struggle made them really good at covering their weaknesses and countering their nemesis, and when faced with a less powerful foe they turned out to be able to punch way above their supposed weight class.
Wizard
Rhino is much stronger than Spiderman, and would beat him to a pulp if Spidey were dumb enough to go for a toe-to-toe slugfest. That’s why Spiderman usually uses his superior speed and agility for a stick-and-move approach, or just lets the Rhino beat himself up by taunting him into a charge only to duck out of the way. (Rhino is capable of brief bursts of superhuman speed, but his tremendous mass and limited agility mean he can’t easily stop or change directions once he’s committed.)
Freemage
He’s also canonically one of the top geniuses in the Marvel Universe. Top-notch labs can’t replicate the web-fluid; he created the tracer devices capable of attuning to his spider-sense–hell he once built a Doctor Doom-style time machine… out of freakin’ kitchen appliances. And much of this was in high school, or as a college drop-out. Imagine what he would be if he’d been, say, given the advantages of a Tony Stark or Reed Richards from the get-go.
wilddeath
Let’s not forget that he is not bullet proof. In a recent issue he took a bullet for someone and it really messed him up. He powered through it but the bloodloss took him out of the next fight til he recovered and received medical treatment. Yes his spider-sense usually keeps him out of harms way when it comes to bullets but they can still fuck him up.
JBento
The Sinister Six is small potatoes. Spider-Man once took out two 25%s of the fucking Phoenix Force by talking to them when it had taken all of the non-mutant Marvel heavyweights to take out one 20%.
Another plus to his constant quipping is that it makes his opponents forget that Peter Parker is actually one of the top intellects of the Marvel Universe, not just in science but also, unlike people like Reed Richards, in PEOPLE.
StClair
All of Spidey’s long-time rogues know that if he’s not joking around, it means he’s entirely focused on handing you your ass.
(Except for that one time he just had a really bad cold.)
Bruceski
Depends on the author, but if they’re leaning more into the “he’s just a kid” aspect the quips can also be distracting himself from being terrified.
Cholma
Elan certainly knows what’s what. He’s had years of practice!
Beef
I wonder if Danny will change his opinion of Mike after this
Cheesy1
Time to resolve some daddy issues!
Michael Steamweed
When attempting to de-install Daddy Issues, it’s best to re-Boot.
Whitt
I love this comment.
Hacksaw
Word.
Stephen Bierce
Never presume a man does not have superheroines at his disposal.
Savail
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *deep breath* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Savail
(Sorry, mostly enjoying this because it reminds me of when Mike & Amazi-Girl teamed up in Shortpacked for some odd reason. Nostalgia, yo.)
ian livs
same, though
Wizard
Honey Bun attack while they were visiting his parents, IIRC. That’s also when Amber realized Mike had real feeling for her, after some of his old SEMME colleagues mentioned that nobody makes Mike do much of anything he doesn’t want to.
NickG
Just reread that storyline in the SP! archives, Mike’s Spidey moment to save SG is so great.
Savail
I meant being reminded of that was odd. I remember why they teamed up haha!
shadowcell
and she brought her angriest Ninja Turtle face too
Cass
No cheek blushies though, so Blaine’s beating might end up comparatively light.
Which still means getting the snot beaten out of him.
ScarletSabre
Bloody hell, Blaine has a raging murderboner… Mike shouted he was being chased to like four people who definitely heard him on the way there, does he really think nobody is gonna try and check that out?
jeffepp
I think we’ve established that, Blaine and long term thinking aren’t really a thing. I mean, he gets ideas, but, well, no exit strategy.
“I’ll just wonder in to a place that I can’t go, by order of the court. Like anyone will question me.” Ends up running away after Ruth kicks his ass.
vitalProximity
I thought he was only banned *after* he pulled that stunt? I could be mistaken though
CJ
No, Ruth knew him from a list of people who where not allowed in. I suspect there is a court order he’s not allowed around Amber.
thejeff
That was a list of Approved Family Members that he wasn’t on. One assumes submitted by the students as part of the acceptance paperwork.
I don’t know of any solid evidence of any court orders or legal restraints on either of them. We can hope that Ross’s bail terms included “stay away from your daughter”, but it hasn’t been stated.
HMRC4EVR
After reading a few of those linked strips, I’m wondering if Blane is smart enough to remember he saw a grappling hook in Amber’s closet (if AG uses it) and puts two and two together.
Of course he might not believe it even if he makes the connection, figuring Amber is too weak-willed to be AG (aka there’s now way a guy like Clark Kent could be Superman).
Nono
When a gun-toting idiot has more sense than you do…
JetstreamGW
… Well, no, no I don’t really think they are. An adult male on a scooter, shouting about being chased?
No. I don’t think anyone’s gonna look into that. Ever.
PHNX
Gotta give Mike props for being genre-savvy…
and EXTREMELY lucky!!
AeromechanicalAce
Bet you Mike actually called her before he confronted Blaine and has had his phone on the whole time. Hence why he was announcing where he was going.
Meagan
That would explain a lot of things
vitalProximity
Mike is literally the only genre-savvy character in the whole story as far as I can tell. I think that’s part of why I like him so much.
Nono
Carla’s pretty savvy, like when Billie suggested that Mary might be picking on her because she liked her and she immediately went, ‘no, this is not Hey Arnold’.
vitalProximity
Ooooh, good point. I miss Carla, feels like we haven’t seen her in forever. Lol I think that’s why I like her so much too. She’s like Mike except less committed to appearing malicious and cynical, even though she’s like to think they’re at least equal. Actually, I think her desired persona is more “aloof/superior and indifferent” than Mike’s “prickly and indifferent”. Mike doesn’t care about what people think of hon, as long as they know he’s an asshole; Carla wants everyone to know she’s WAY smarter, prettier, more badass, and just generally awesomer than them (which, to be fair, is typically true ❤️), and any time or attention she generously gives to one of you puny mortals is a gift they’re unworthy of. But she’s not like a Vriska Serket or anything where she’s so determined to believe it herself that she masquerades as an actual narcissist, which is good. Anyway, I also enjoy that her sense of humor is different than Mike’s. They both like giving with people, but his skill is people and hers is engineering, which leads to some fabulous hijinks. ❤️ I love both of them! And also think it’s hilarious that she clearly respects his skill and is determined to have him acknowledge her own, and is pissed off that he won’t. ?
vitalProximity
*what people think of him 🙂
vitalProximity
…*both like fucking with people 😛
HMRC4EVR
If Carla was let in on the secret, she might could make AG some incredible gear.
thejeff
Carla’s also far more transparent about not really being an asshole. Any number of times she’s helped people out or checked up on them.
I think the asshole facade is pure defense on her part. Much safer to have people dislike the facade than hate her for who she is.
Wizard
Eh, I still say “get rescued by Amazigirl” is a dumb plan, and I’m a little disappointed it worked. Although if AeromechanicalAce is correct, it’s at least slightly less dumb.
Stephen Bierce
More like Plan B. Plan A was driving Blaine and Ross into the hands of the Police.
StClair
“And what you fail to realize is that my ship is dragging mines.”
ValdVin
“Now let’s get out of here before one of these things kills
GuyBlaine.”Actually, let’s stick around and watch the beatdown.
Suet
Like that one party jam,
Whoomp, there it is!
Savail
Your alt-text had me expecting a mash-up of Whoomp with the Kim Possible theme. I have left disappointed.
Suet
People can be crazy creative, but there is a huge lack of good KP mash-ups. A mash-up with Tag Team would have been killer, but I am just left weeping.
Also, it IS a dang perfect might-have-been theme for Amazi-Girl or Sal.
Steve C.
Huh. My mind went straight to “Folsom Prison Blues” for some reason.
Steve C.
Whoops! Sorry, thought you meant Willis’ alt text.
Suet
Well, why not also?
DarkoNeko