155

Boot
Posted on May 29, 2014 by David M Willis
Hey look, my pal Danielle is doing a Kickstarter!  I'm linking this here for you all because, GUESS WHAT, some of this moolah goes to ME.  See, during her trip she needs to host a run of guest strips, and for some bizarre reason she wanted to pay us to do them.  Hell, I woulda done it for free, but if Danielle wants to give me money anyway, I ain't gonna turn it down.  Sucker! Also note that one of Danielle's stops on her road tour is in Columbus, Ohio, costarring me!  You can come meet both of us at The Laughing Ogre on July 6.  My five-day guest strip domination on girlswithslingshots.com also starts that week.  Me me me, you guys.  And her, too, whatevs.

155 thoughts on “Boot”

  1. Opus the Poet

    The sense of relief is palpable.

    1. Safgaftsa

      I am literally palping the relief.

      1. Gadgeteer Smashwidget

        do you mean “literally” as in “actually” or as in “figuratively”?

        1. AgentKeen

          Do you mean literally as in what it actually means, or literally as in the opposite of what it means?

          Also, I have no idea how you palp anything, let alone relief.

        2. Jen Aside

          Do you mean “literally” as in “not literally” as in what Google says

          |=C

        3. Bill

          You keep using that word.  I do not think it means what you think it means.

        4. Yet_One_More_Idiot

          I think you literally don’t know what it means.

        5. Chris

          Its use as an intensifier of figurative statements goes back hundreds of years. It’s literally a can of worms, but there you are.

        6. Penn

          Yes literally can mean figuratively. If you do use it that way what other way do you have to say literally? There are many other options to intensify something but ‘literally’ is literally the only easy way to get that concept across. I think that’s why people get so up in arms about diluting the word literally.

        7. AgentKeen

          I looked up literally in a thesaurus, and I was hoping/afraid that figuratively would be both a synonym and antonym.

        8. Daryl'sHuntress

          the same way a doctor palpates the region.

        9. gwalla

          Do you mean “often”, “frequently”, or “often”, “a person who has lost both of their parents”?

      2. Al

        *literally palpating the relief.

        1. Spoon

          literally pupating the relief

        2. Spoon

          literally palpitating the relief

        3. JessWitt

          Literally palpatining the relief.

        4. Deimir

          Literally pulping the relief.

        5. LWS

          That sounds like what Mike does for a nickel…

        6. Anarchy 101

          Literally pantomiming the relief.

        7. Deanatay

          Something Something Dark Side,
          Something Something… Relief.

        8. podian

          RELIEF!!! UNLIMITED RELIEF!!!

    2. Swerve

      Yeah, it’s hard to believe that she spent the whole night worrying about this! (And picking a fight with Sal.)

    3. Lord Geovanni

      You know what gives you a sense of relief? Patches that’s what.

  2. Jen Aside

    SLEEPS

    1. Jay Eff

      AMBER SEEPY

    2. newllend

      Aaah poor baby tired heself out, Time to draw a mustache on her face!

      1. Jen Aside

        put her hand in a glass of warm water

  3. AHR

    It’s good to see Amber happy

    1. Mr K

      Let’s make her even more happy. Let her beat up Sal!

      1. Doctor_Who

        Or Dorothy could put a wig on Walky and a couple of balloons down his shirt. Let Amber work out some aggression that way.

        1. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          Where’s Head Alien and his gender swapping ray gun when you need him, huh?

        2. Mr k

          He uses it on Danny. And Joe cause that’ll be hilarious.

        3. Jen Aside

          Danielle seems like she’d have one of those mullets you generally see in Kentucky

          Jo might be a super-skank ho [though I’m still imagining manly features a la Maximilliana]

  4. Geminia999

    You doomed us again Willis! Rattrap and Skybite, now I’ll never find them 🙁

    1. Cybersnark

      Damn you Willis! I thought you said you wouldn’t do this anymore!

  5. JustCheetoDust

    _so that’s what smiles look like on amber_

    Non-triangular?

  6. Yotomoe

    I swear I thought she was gonna say a “Boots been removed from my ass” but I guess that’d have a different meaning.

    1. newllend

      # Boots to asses
      http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C2L9hVma4eI

  7. Gadgeteer Smashwidget

    …That is EXACTLY what I would do in her position.

    1. Gadgeteer Smashwidget

      also, I think Amber looks like an adorable sleeping kitten in the last panel.

      1. JessWitt

        Her snore’s reminiscent of an adorable sleeping jaguar.

    2. TJ Baltimore

      There are many things Amber can do in that position. Danny, for one.

  8. Plasma Mongoose

    QUICK, somebody get the bowl of warm water. 😛

    1. Gadgeteer Smashwidget

      please no! Amber couldn’t handle the embarrassment at this point!

    2. JustCheetoDust

      Then shaving cream…

    3. Yotomoe

      Where’s a marker when you need it.

      1. JustCheetoDust

        In someone else’s hand. How annoying is that?

  9. John

    Amazi-Girl’s real nemesis is failing out because she slept through all her classes.

    1. Yotomoe

      http://0-media-cdn.foolz.us/ffuuka/board/vp/image/1372/45/1372454784720.jpg

      Meanwhile in Amber’s class.

      1. Gadgeteer Smashwidget

        those are little baby Kangaskhan, right?

        1. Yotomoe

          Substitutes.

        2. AgentKeen

          They almost look like the Bubble Bobble ‘saurs.

        3. JessWitt

          I could use a Substitute doll for a dreadful school retreat I’m not looking forward to.

        4. Cybersnark

          Or just use a convenient log.

          Maybe with a few knives sticking out of it for effect.

        5. Yotomoe

          Like…is there just a shit ton of chopped up, roughly person sized wood in the ninja world?
          Or like….
          Are they carrying around the wood in some sort of dimensional pocket or something?

  10. Deathjavu

    A smiling Amber?

    Surely something horrible is in store.

    (this is also what I do when I can finally relax)

    1. Mr K

      Dina comes into the room “I’m planning my wedding with Faz.”

      1. Yotomoe

        After that savage beating you gave Blaine we decided to rebuild him as an indestructable laser-guided cyborg.

      2. SUGauthor

        Amber’s mom comes in and announces her plan to triple marry Joe’s dad, Jacob, and Sal.

        1. StClair

          All of the above.
          In succession.
          And then, of course, she opens her eyes with a gasp and sits bolt upright.

        2. John

          And she’s lying in bed next to Mike. Donna is crying in the next room.

  11. Ridureyu

    She’s free to commit felony assault!

    …Naw, she just might be free FROM the compulsion to do that.

  12. Wonder Wig

    AND… THEN… IT… WAS… ALL… A… DREAM….

    1. newllend

      And you where there, and you where there, and you…well actually you weren’t there.

  13. Doctor_Who

    I relate more to Amber in this strip than in any other.

    Somehow whenever I find myself totally free with no pressure, “Go back to bed” is my number one choice of activity.

    “I could marathon every Elm Street film! I could go get a tub of ice cream! I could play all those games that have been sitting in my Steam account since the last sale!…I could have a nap!”

    Clearly I’m getting old.

    1. Gadgeteer Smashwidget

      you’re not getting old; I do the exact same thing, and I’m still in High School.

      1. Yotomoe

        Going back to bed is what we’ve been doing since we were babies.

        1. Gadgeteer Smashwidget

          yes, but as babies, we actually NEED to sleep for 16 hours a day. Any other time and it’s pretty much a luxury.

    2. JustCheetoDust

      I could play all those games that have been sitting in my Steam account since the last sale!

      This reminds of the time I stared at a list of 200+ unplayed games on Steam, only to turn my 3DS back on.

      Rather, “times.”

      After every purchase I’ve made on Steam in the past two years.

      Damn, that list won’t stop growing.

      1. Doctor_Who

        I currently have about 70 games in my account. Played about 40 of them.

        In defense of my spending habits, I should point out that most of those are from Humble Bundles.

        1. Gadgeteer Smashwidget

          I have about 20 unplayed games on my 119-game steam account. To be fair, I haven’t played a couple of those games in about 3 years, so…

        2. JustCheetoDust

          I’d say maybe 30-40 tops in my collection come from HB. Most of my spending was during the Summer and Winter sales, then Amazon or Green Man Gaming.

        3. Jen Aside

          You people and your “spending money”! I have to actually play games I *OWN* rather than getting Transistor! |=p

          dammit

        4. begbert2

          I’ve got around 220 games in my account, and have around 80 unplayed ones. (Or maybe twenty less than that if you count older games that I’ve rebought because I wanted them on steam as an easier way to replay/finish them.) I keep thinking that I should just play the suckers, but right now I’m in the middle of a replay of Skyrim and it seems to be taking a while…

        5. Jen Aside

          That’s the trouble, you kids and your sandbox games! Just buy the point-and-click adventures you can finish in like twelve hours and be done with!

          *starts hour 120 of Recettear*

        6. Anarchy 101

          Obviously you people don’t know the usefulness of Pirate bay. All those games you pay for, I get for free thanks to peer to peer sharing, like good old mixtapes.

        7. Jen Aside

          I’m pretty sure we all know about it, but how will developers get our money and be able to make MOAR GAMES that no one will play

        8. Rutee

          Yes, the only reason to honestly own something is that we just don’t know better. There is absolutely no way anything else can be at play there.

          Look, I’ll cop to that desire being fundamentally irrational in part for personal reasons myself, but seriously?

        9. podian

          Ah, HB: the place where you go to buy one game for a dollar and get a bunch of games you weren’t interested in free.

  14. Kernanator

    Oh good, Amber followed my advice.

    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/03-up-all-night-to-get-vengeance/shoop/#comment-229960

    1. Jen Aside

      Well, how many OTHER bathrooms could she go in?

  15. DailyBrad

    For a second, I was worried this was going to be “it’s all a dream” bullshit, but that’s not really Willis’ style, and it makes more sense that she’s just having a much-needed rest.

  16. Opus the Poet

    Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot, Interrogative!

    1. Opus the Poet

      Above statement made because I had just refreshed and there were no other comments visible in spite of more than 6 minutes having expired since my first post.

  17. Corsair114

    “…finally free to do anything.”

    Oh my.

    1. Yotomoe

      First on my list…
      Dorothy.

  18. Tom Speelman

    Willis, is that an Ultra Mammoth on Amber’s desk? Because if so, you just made me smile.

  19. JessWitt

    Phew, now is someone else’s turn to be miserable for a change.

    1. John

      Time to check in on Billie and Ruth again?

      1. JustCheetoDust

        You’re right, there’s no way they could have reconciled in a sexy manner.

        1. JWLM

          Beside, Billie is going to have one fearsome hangover this morning, if she hasn’t suffered irreversible liver damage from last night’s binge.

      2. newllend

        As much as I want to thinking more like Ethan.

  20. AgentKeen

    That’s my favorite thing to do, tbh.

    (Also, I’m sad that I won’t be able to see both of you since I don’t live in Ohio, but I’m super stoked that Danielle is actually make a stop right near where I live! We pretty much don’t have any cons around here, and I can’t get off time to travel usually, so it’ll be cool to finally meet someone.)

  21. Khaner

    Good for her. She probably really needs that sleep.

  22. derick

    This is college. Sleep is definitely on the ‘Finally, I can do the things!’ list.

  23. nothri

    To be fair, for those who have the luxury that is literally the best use of one’s morning that has ever been invented.

    1. John

      Close, but not quite. Best is when one has company.

      1. TParadox

        Call Danny and Slipshine.

        1. John

          Slipshine is only necessary for EXTREEEM cuddling. I’m pretty sure Danny has never done anything EXTREEEM in his life.

        2. timemonkey

          He lost his virginity to Dorothy. That’s pretty EXTREEM.

        3. John

          Losing your virginity to your long-term girlfriend after several years of dating only qualifies as “extreme” if you’re Joyce.

          I mean, unless he lost it while bungee-jumping or something.

          Or in the middle of Dorothy-and-Joe sandwich.

  24. newllend

    Sleep warrior of yellow, you must rest for your next challenge” Damnation of the Dannieing,” only then will you face your Rival.

    1. JWLM

      Is that _Das Dannerstaterung_?

  25. caesaria82

    Beautiful.

    1. LuckyStar7

      Danny would say that.

  26. Kennerly

    I do not envy you the headache you will have when you awake, but in the meantime, rest well and dream of large women.

    1. LuckyStar7

      Am I correct in assuming that is a Monty Python reference?

      1. Varangian

        Nope, it’s a “The Princess Bride” reference, uttered just after Westley won over Fezzik.

  27. Ben Grahm

    And then Billie fucks everything up

  28. Bagge

    One vote secured for the future president election

    1. Anarchy 101

      Now she has a second

  29. Raptorman

    When the going gets tough, our heroine….goes to sleep, its been a looong night.

  30. John Madden

    So what does she do when/if she finds out Danny grew a pair and didn’t rat her out?

    1. Robert

      She just snores even louder. She also might kick in her sleep.

  31. Shanunu

    That’s what I do inside and outside school.

  32. Kiggy

    Awww. Sleep well, Amber-chan.

    Also, are those Transformers or Pokemon?

    Or maybe they are Dina’s. For a project about the evolutionary relation between whales, hippos and elephants.

    1. John

      Transformers. Ultra Mammoth you might recognize from his hijacking of the Shortpacked! site.

  33. Mass Confusion

    Rest well Amber. You deserve it

  34. Idon'tcarenomore

    Good night, and sleep well.

  35. MrMercury

    and this is the part where everything goes downhill

  36. Ben

    Ya know…. I’d probably pass the crap out too if I’d have had the weekend she did and managed to come out of it with only some minor physical bruising. Sleep can cure (some) of the (less traumatic) emotional things though she really needs to talk to SOMEONE, anyone… except maybe Danny.

    1. MrMercury

      why not danny?

    2. TJ Baltimore

      Seriously! I’ve often suspected that I’d be much less psychotic if only I was able to get better sleep.

  37. Bill

    Excuse me.  But has everyone forgotten that Blaine is still in hospital?
    There is still a certain amount of organic fertilizer that is due to make contact with the oscillating air-circulatory device.

    1. Jake

      This comic is not ending any time soon. Not remotely any time soon. And it is written by Willis.

    2. timemonkey

      How? He doesn’t know Amazi-Girl is Amber and lied to the cops about who assaulted him. He’ll still be an asshole but he’s no more a threat than he was to begin with, less so since now Danny knows about him.

      1. Bill

        That may very well be.  But according to the principle of Chekhov’s Gun, everything and everybody is introduced for a reason.  So just like Q in ST:TNG, he will pop up in the plot from time to time and continue to be a thorn in Amber’s side.

        And along those same lines, I’m waiting to see how Willis will follow up on the interaction between the characters of Ethan and Jocelyne — remember them? — which was left open-ended and hanging.

  38. FrostyBoot

    I demand an Ultra Mammoth tag.

  39. etybolik

    She doesn’t worry about the headline on tomorrow’s paper anymore. No more secrets escaping.

    Everything’s alright.

    Amber O’Malley sleeps the sleep of the just.

    1. Mangulwort

      more like the sleep of the dammed. Criminal scum!

    2. TJ Baltimore

      Is that a Sandman reference? It’s been a while since I read through all of them.

      1. etybolik

        Indeed it is. +1 to you

  40. sarahlost36

    this is awesome, but i woke with a sense of dread about Ruth… wasn’t someone supposed to check on her?

    1. John

      She’s fine. Amazi-Girl said.

      And there’s no way to get a truck up the elevator.

  41. theskeuomorph

    I initially read that as “It’s like a boob’s been removed from my chest.”

    1. LuckyStar7

      That would be cause for much less sleep.
      And a spit take.

  42. Regalli

    Aaah, post-incredible-stress-all-nighter sleep. I’ve been there. For very different reasons, but. Still. Been there. Rest well, Amber. You’ve earned it.

  43. Deanatay

    And so, the chapter titled ‘Up All Night (Something Something)’ ends. With sweet, sweet oblivion.

    Unless there’s a day-new-mount?

    1. Jen Aside

      We have not seen the last of Rebel-Joyce, I would think

  44. Daibhid C

    As the Gallaghers so nearly put it:

    I’m free-ee to do whatever I,
    Whatever I want and I’ll go back to bed if I want.

  45. Jen Aside

    Amber’s face makes me think of LeVar Burton’s tears of joy T^T

  46. Sam

    Is noone going to mention that Amber told Billie that she is Amazi-girl? Even if Billie was drunk, she miiiiiight remember it in the morning….

    1. etybolik

      Billie’s still convinced Sal is Amazi-girl. Even if she were sober she wouldn’t have believed Amber.

      1. xKiv

        Also, Billie heard Amber *talk with* Amazi-Girl.

  47. OmegaDez

    All is well that ends well?

    Somehow, I doubt it.

    1. John

      Thing is… nothing ever really ends.

      1. gwalla

        Nothing ends, Adrian. Nothing ever ends.

  48. SilverArrowArtemis

    She’s… smiling??? Everyone, run!

  49. maycroft

    every friday after exams.

  50. LuckyStar7

    SNXKTXFFZ

  51. Joker Two

    This was exactly my reaction last week at the end of semester. It feels so good to be done.

  52. Cathy Garrett

    What the Hell’s her leg supposed to be propped up on? I’ve slept in those beds and there ain’t nothin’ up there.

    1. David M Willis

      the wall?

  53. Indianawalsh

    So, if everything has taken place over the course of a few weeks since 2012, how are Amber’s toys from 2014?

    1. Sailor_Arashi

      The whole thing has taken place over the course of a few weeks in a fictional universe that is always identical to our own at the precise time each strip is posted. Specifically so people won’t ask questions like you just did.

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