326

Border
Posted on August 2, 2017 by David M Willis

326 thoughts on “Border”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    search results BEFORE today’s comic: https://www.dropbox.com/s/4ouvgaclzs8g3ue/bjc.png?dl=0

    1. DarkoNeko

      …I can’t find anything related to the statue even with ‘ “blowjob cat” indiana ‘ uh.

      1. Tacos

        Didn’t Willis post a picture of Blowjob Cat before? I swear I remember seeing it.

        1. Lingo

          It’s his Tumblr background.

    2. QueerBitch

      Look up Fairview Elementary Cat Statue Indiana. That’s how I found it
      http://indianapublicmedia.org/news/files/2014/01/fairview1.jpg

      1. Doctor_Who

        That sure is a blowjob cat.

        And apparently its partner ejaculates valuable life lessons.

        1. Reltzik

          I’d facepalm, but apparently Blowjob Cat has been facepalming enough for all of us.

        2. Needfuldoer

          Blowjob cat may not have much class or self respect, but it does have principles.

        3. Yet_One_More_Idiot

          OMG this thing is actually really actually REAL????!

          I assumed Willis was making that shit up just for a cheap dick joke. 😛

        4. thejeff

          No, not at all.

          Willis went out and did research in the real world for a cheap dick joke. 🙂

      2. Sephiroth144

        Fairview to Furview, but yup, there is it…

        1. DinaWho

          I think the name confusion is more a result of Meredith’s speech bubble placement than an actual spelling error – if I squint, I can see the triangular point of the A.

          Of course, according to Google StreetView, the name isn’t even on that side of the building. 😛

        2. HeySo

          No, Furview is the perfect place for Blowjob Cat.
          No doubt, the School’s team is “The Furries”.

          See, originally, they used to be “The Furies”, but the outfits just slowly became more animalistic, and, well, the rest is history.

          (Looking into it, the school mascot label is apparently “Wildcats” which, honestly, really isn’t too much better.)

      3. Fire_daws

        Who thought THAT was a good idea…

        1. N0083rp00F

          The people on the school board who signed off on that particular art project.

        2. Inspector Hound

          To be fair, not everyone has the level of experience with sex toys that seems to be the norm here.

          I certainly wasn’t aware of that particular … expression … until a friend’s bachelor party, where a certain life-size toy was on display.

        3. Jinxed44

          A. Man when you see the real thing it looks a lot less blowjobby then when Willis draws it? I feel like its not a connection I would have made…

          B. Annnnddd the sex doll was something I hadn’t thought of even with only seeing Willis’ version.

        4. gaeila

          Really? I thought the close-up photos of Blowjob cat made him look MORE blowjobby than how Willis drew him her.
          Perceptions vary.

    3. gaeila

      According to a Fairview Elementary web page, the official name of Blowjob Cat is “Artisticat sculpture”
      link: https://www.mccsc.edu/Page/466
      Fairview appears quite proud of their…”cat sculpture.” His picture adorns the top banner of all their web sites, including their Home page.
      Personally, I prefer Blowjob Cat. Hail Blowjob Cat!

  2. Miguel

    What?

    1. SgtWadeyWilson

      Blowjob cat, apparently.

  3. SirTyler

    Blowjob Cat is the best sculpture Ive ever seen

  4. Nono

    NEW MAIN CHARACTER?

    1. AnvilPro

      He and Meredith are going to travel across the universe fighting evil and eradicating darkness.

      1. Doctor_Who

        It’s Blowjob Cat!

      2. Pablo360

        His catchphrase is “you’re finished”

      3. butting

        Weekly on Nickelodeon. And every episode will end with the line, “Blowjob Cat, you’ve gone too far!”

        1. SgtWadeyWilson

          “How’d they get the censors to agree to this?”
          *Camera quickly pans to a closeup on Blowjob Cat.*
          DUNDUNDU-UUNN!
          *Fades to black.*
          …
          *Inquisitive meowing.*
          …
          …
          …
          *Shows BJCat handing stacks of cash to the censors.*
          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
          Okay, yep, I’ve had too much to think.

        2. zoelogical

          the writers, eventually: blowjob cat, It’s all over. Your mission is a failure. Your life style’s too extreme!

        3. butting

          Wait, what, dammit? Has the RHPS crew followed me here from Wilde Life?

          (spoiler: I live about 1500 m from the Riff Raff statue.)

        4. zoelogical

          lololol nice

        5. thejeff

          “Wait! I can explain.”

        6. JasonAW3

          It better be better than last week! You got killed last week!

  5. AnvilPro

    Time for Meredith’s crazy adventure

  6. Matthew Traver

    Huh, whadayaknow

  7. shadowcell

    amazi-girl’s next nemesis!

  8. Danni

    ive been in this kind of scenario

    1. Orion Fury

      Went to far past a Taco Bell?

      1. Danni

        no. one time during summer i decided to go on a bike ride(it was hot) and thought about going to a specific diner and have something to eat. WELL, turned out i went too far and ended up 10 miles outside town. by the time i realized it, it was 1 in the afternoon. i turned back around and started heading back to town and home. stopped a couple times to get water. when i was about 5 miles from home, the back tire gave out so i walked the rest of the way. by the time i got home it was 5 and i was exhausted.

        1. Orion Fury

          Did you bike…for fun?

        2. Danni

          well it started out that way that day

        3. N0083rp00F

          Do you carry a bike repair kit on your bike now or was the damage too far gone?

        4. Danni

          like a air pump for the tires? yeah. i havent gone biking in a few weeks bc its literally hell here in town, and biking would -kill- me. the bike i had at the time was not the bike i had then. i just got the back tire replaced.

        5. Danni

          i meant “the bike i have now”

        6. StClair

          I once committed a similar error of navigation. Fortunately, I stopped and found a store to get my bearings before I actually left town, but…

          *sympathetic bicyclist fistbump*

        7. Danni

          *sympathetic bicyclist fistbump*

  9. Foxhack

    … you know what, I appreciate Joe actually tried to accomodate someone who wanted a gluten-free option, even if it was like this.

    And especially that he didn’t make fun of her for asking for a gluten-free option.

    1. Leorale

      Yeah! Some people really have celiac disease, you know? It’s not nice to make people explain their health requirements all the time.

    2. Kieran

      Same! I’ve had to eat gluten free for 6 years now and all the people arguing “gluten intolerance isn’t real!!!” all the time really irritate me. I promise I’m not trying to be difficult and/or trendy! ?

      1. Roborat

        The only good thing about all the gluten free silliness is it has made it a lot easier for my son to find gluten free food, he has celiac.

      2. Foxhack

        My best buddy slowly became more and more gluten intolerant, and neither of us realized it, until I figured it out and he went “… huh.”

        Of course his dumb ass still REFUSES to go see a doctor about it. Because he’s a fucking dumb ass. I love the guy, but I got tired of his shit about it.

        Nowadays he eats stuff with very little gluten, and he lost a lot of weight. Which sucks because he could scarf down a pizza all on his own. 🙁

      3. firestk

        Non celiac gluten issues are a thing but it’s hard to pin down since going gluten free takes away more than just gluten.

    3. Halpful

      Yeah 🙂

    4. localvigiliante

      Also as a college student on campus everybody gets a bit sick of university fare. Non university cheap fast food was definitely a treat. I tend to interpret many of the people who visited Joe’s booth as willing to take free food but somewhat (and definitely justifiably) wary.

      I want to believe Joe has started to realize gee maybe this toxic masculinity route ought to be avoided and that he seriously will work on treating the women in his life better. I think that this is his character arc and it involves being okay with displaying emotions and voicing vulnerability.

    5. Doki

      I agree! This was actually super nice and respectful, and hopefully this will help show him things are better for literally everyone if he – gasp! – treats women as people. ~WOW~

      I mean, giving out free food is a super low bar, but he’s starting out pretty much at the bottom so… c’mon Joe, you’ve got a LONG way to go, but I believe in you. Maybe. Sort of.

      1. Manmadeking

        One rung of the ladder at a time, as they (no one) always says.

        1. Ed Rhodes

          “One brick at a time, one single, solitary brick.”

      2. thejeff

        Yeah, the free food is a low bar, but he didn’t hit on Meredith at all. That’s kind of surprising.

        1. Foxhack

          I think he realized bringing up Blowjob Cat was enough skeeviness for any encounter. I mean yes, he’s a jerk, but he’s not completely unaware of it. 😛

      3. Krys Brynhildr

        I feel like your gravatar is basically the perfect one for vaguely believing in Joe.

        That said, yeah, when Joe isn’t trying to be “The cool guy on campus who has all the sex with all the ladies”…he does have a decent side to him. He just usually tends to behave like an idiot and kind of a jerk otherwise, so him actually growing up a bit and be able to at least try and think about things like consequences and other such things that make him ignore Danny because he doesn’t want to listen to that sort of thing, would probably help a lot.

    6. Eyebrow

      Yeah, I thought so too, until I considered that my wife is seriously gluten intolerant (including, so help me, corn) and there is nothing at Taco Bell she could eat.

  10. Boots

    Is this a real thing at IU?

    1. Once

      No, but apparently at Fairview Elementary!

    2. Fart Captor

      No, it’s not.

      …

      It’s outside a real elementary school nearby.

      1. Emperor Daniel

        Willis even has a photo of the real Blowjob Cat as his tumblr background.

      2. DarkoNeko

        I fail to see how that make it better XD

    3. C.

      Is there anyone at IU here that would know if the slang “blowjob cat” is used there?

      1. Swoop

        I’ve heard it called ‘Sex Doll Cat’, but I knew immediately what Joe was talking about.

      2. Janu

        IU Grad Student turned Professor here! I’ve lived near Blowjob Cat, but have never heard it called such until now.

  11. DarkoNeko

    I’m disappointed today’s page title isn’t blowjob cat, but I guess that could cause some… issues with advertisers ^^;

  12. Kris

    What is this comic?

    1. Orion Fury

      Dumbing of Age?

      1. Needfuldoer

        No, it’s clearly QC.

        1. DarkoNeko

          Shortpacked ?

        2. Akahane

          Nah, Girls With Slingshots, duh.

        3. Psyme

          Funky Cancer Cancer?

    2. Stevecharb

      It’s Walky!

      But in a modernized Roomies! setting.

  13. Tacos

    Blowjob Cat
    .
    .
    .
    That is all.

  14. Passchendaele

    that cat is 95% of the way to becoming an intensely weird internet meme. :p

  15. UniqueSnowflake2

    She’s gone too far.

    1. brionl

      Some people think
      if you go too far
      You’ll never get back
      To where the rest of them are.

    2. WillD

      My guess is that she went there on purpose. Just to see the cat. Possibly after eating her taco.

  16. Nick

    https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:New_Fairview_Elementary_School_in_Bloomington.jpg

    1. Jed!

      Excellent work. I spent a minute searching Furview Elementary and Purview Elementary and wondering why nothing showed up.

      1. Eldritch Gentleman

        You were led astray by the puntastic cat.

  17. QueerBitch

    I need to know the statues real name if it is a real statue so i can find it.

    1. C.

      Information about the cat from the schools website 🙂 – if you were curious

      “Artisticat, the Fairview Wildcat, lives on the southeast corner of the school. Artisticat was created in partnership with Joe LaMantia, local artist whose children have attended Fairview. Through community planning sessions, a student design was chosen and pieces of our old building were selected to be included in this project. Artisticat’s eyes are lights from the old entry area, her nose comes from the door to the old coal room, her mouth is cut from the fire escape slide, and the Fairview letters on her base were taken from the front of our old building. On the ground in front of Artistict are two mosaic paw prints. These were made by 2010 sixth graders using marble from window sills in the old building. Artisticat came to live at Fairview in the fall of 2010. Our sixth grade class named our wildcat Artisticat combining artist and cat. Students gave distinctive spots by proudly painting her with their handprints.”

      https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/11hiwc/this_sculpture_is_outside_an_elementary_school/

      1. QueerBitch

        Yeah I ended up finding it by searching Fairview Elementary Indiana cat statue and it was the first picture result

      2. Leorale

        And what do they call this act? — the ARISTOCAT.

        1. brionl

          The Aristocats? I love that movie!

          http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065421/?ref_=nv_sr_1

        2. Delicious Taffy

          Everybody wants a Blowjob Cat.
          Because that cat’s the only cat
          Who knows where it’s at.

          I’d go further, but I don’t condone the sexualisation of house pets, unless it’s funny.

      3. Tomas

        So many repurposed parts; it’s probably haunted.

      4. Reltzik

        …. okay, now that I’ve found out about this, I’m feeling LESS happy about mocking artwork made partially by elementary school students via sexual terminology.

    2. Opus the Poet

      Here https://www.google.com/maps/@39.1685999,-86.5386364,3a,75y,270h,90t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1s2f4tTIbZOC-15-Cxwqnf_A!2e0!6s%2F%2Fgeo1.ggpht.com%2Fcbk%3Fpanoid%3D2f4tTIbZOC-15-Cxwqnf_A%26output%3Dthumbnail%26cb_client%3Dmaps_sv.tactile.gps%26thumb%3D2%26w%3D203%26h%3D100%26yaw%3D31.554943%26pitch%3D0%26thumbfov%3D100!7i13312!8i6656
      Yoou’re welcoome

  18. Eudaemon

    It’s real. https://www.google.com/maps/@39.1685669,-86.5387619,3a,75y,331.87h,92.54t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1sAbhk26GJAAkrPF-YLMeaWg!2e0!7i13312!8i6656

  19. Stephen Bierce

    *plays Janet Jackson’s “Black Cat” on a car stereo near –view Elementary School*

  20. QueerBitch

    I FOUND BLOWJOB CAT
    http://indianapublicmedia.org/news/files/2014/01/fairview1.jpg

    1. Kokomo

      Argh, beat me to it

  21. Kokomo

    And lo, it is real

    1. Jhon

      Not Real Enough!

  22. IU Law

    i never thought i’d have to see that awful thing again. Nice realism.

  23. HL

    if you put a gun to my head and asked me to explain why i love meredith so much i’d be dead. idk but i just love their design

  24. Sugnez

    Meredith is me.

  25. Rukduk

    Welp. That’s something you don’t see everyday. And I used to think University of Michigan’s Wolverine mascot was silly when he was still around.

  26. Opus the Poet

    I can’t see the cat in Google Street View. Anyone got an addy?

    1. C.

      500 W 7th St.

      1. Opus the Poet

        Thannx.
        https://www.google.com/maps/@39.1685999,-86.5386364,3a,75y,270h,90t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1s2f4tTIbZOC-15-Cxwqnf_A!2e0!6s%2F%2Fgeo1.ggpht.com%2Fcbk%3Fpanoid%3D2f4tTIbZOC-15-Cxwqnf_A%26output%3Dthumbnail%26cb_client%3Dmaps_sv.tactile.gps%26thumb%3D2%26w%3D203%26h%3D100%26yaw%3D31.554943%26pitch%3D0%26thumbfov%3D100!7i13312!8i6656

        1. huttj509

          …huh, blowjob cat.

    2. DinaWho

      Can confirm the cat is visible in streetview.

    3. Bicycle Bill

      I see Willis took a little artistic license in moving the school name from the south wall to the east one.

      1. StClair

        yup, I noticed that too.

  27. Puckish Rogue

    Second panel made me think this was going somewhere else but instead it made me smile so that’s good

  28. Rukduk

    I also kinda like how Joe has a little “Shit why didn’t I think of that?” moment when asked about gluten free donuts.

  29. Keulan

    Why did someone think making that sculpture would be a good idea? WTF

  30. Halpful

    Lol 🙂

    So, yesterday my t-shirts arrived! 🙂 The racerback was a nice purple but shit quality – the straps are so thin they’re already stretching out and I haven’t even tried it on. The dolman was better quality, a bit larger than expected but iirc they shrink?

    BTW, if I disappear for a bit, it’s because I’m doing healthy non-computer things. I don’t think my eyes are happy about the late-night interwebs.

  31. OBBWG

    Soon people will wonder why Fairview Elementary is trending parallel to Blowjob Cat.

  32. FLUFFYWOLF

    That… was unexpectedly nice of Joe. It’s proof that, even if he doesn’t try very hard, he actually CAN make an effort to better himself.

    Still not totally sure how sincere this is, though.

  33. Mandy

    The fuck is going on down there in Bloomington?

  34. angiedestroyerofworlds

    oh god DO NOT search “blowjob cat” on the internet i think i have hives now

  35. Scubasteve0209

    I think we’ve just discovered the name & cover art for the next book.

    “Dumbing of Age: Blowjob Cat”
    (I like to think the picture is the main cast contemplating BJ Cat a la “Ferris Bueller”)

    1. metaceryn

      If You See Blowjob Cat, You’ve Gone Too Far: A Sixth Dumbing of Age Collection

      1. RacingTurtle

        I like it!

      2. NotPiffany

        Something about that works perfectly with your gravatar, metaceryn.

  36. NaYa

    While everyone is on the fact that Blowjob cat actually exists…
    What exactly is a border card?

    1. JetstreamGW

      I’m assuming that’s just what they call their giftcards. South of the border, all that?

  37. Bagge

    I like that Joe keeps his focus. “I did something shitty, therefor I’m trying to do something nice. If the donoughts don’t work, I’ll try to figure out something else. Tacco Bell and Blowjob cat* might be just it.”

    *) The new “Netflix and Chill”. Remember where you read it first.

    1. Scubasteve0209

      Also, does Taco Bell have gluten free options?

      1. John

        Corn-based tacos might plausibly be.

        1. Blue

          They have bowls that don’t involve a shell I think. And according to the website their tostadas are gluten-free (as well as the sides of beans and rice, etc).

      2. Stella

        A lot of them! Here are the gluten-free options at Taco Bell https://www.tacobell.com/food/nutrition/allergen-info

        However, they are not *certified* by any Celiac association, because they do not wipe down the fryers and things when switching between corn chips and tortillas and flour-based tortillas. Your best bet is loaded nachos, which are corn-based and never touch the taco press.

  38. Romanticide

    oh Meredith, long time no see.
    And this is probably the most helpful Joe has been in a while… its nice to see…

  39. Dean

    Blowjob Cat for next month’s Patreon strip. Together, we can make this dream a reality.

  40. Dr. T

    Damn it! Now I’ll always think of that thing as blowjob cat when I see it. What’s worse, that’s an elementary school behind it.

  41. The Mad Academic

    The hell is blowjob cat?

    1. Orion Fury

      Last panel?

    2. SgtWadeyWilson

      Apparently it’s a sculpture outside an Elementary school that was raised from the corpse of the previous school building.

      1. NotPiffany

        This is the best description. I applaud you, Sir or Madam.

        1. SgtWadeyWilson

          It would be Sir, but I have yet to be knighted.

      2. JasonAW3

        Zombie School mascot?

      3. Roborat

        So it should be zombie blowjob cat.

  42. @zombieundergrnd

    Joe has found the one.

  43. TemplarKnight

    So yeah, typing fairview elementary into google will help you find blowjob cat.

    Typing “blowjob cat indiana” or (surprisingly) even worse, just “blowjob cat” into google image search will yield . . . Different results.

    Thank god for private mode.

    1. ValdVin

      I’m glad Google doesn’t have sentience (AFAIK) or it might wonder about a spike in searches on “blowjob cat bloomington”.

      1. SgtWadeyWilson

        Imagine this making the list for one of those “Year in Search” things…

        1. ValdVin

          Now you’re just asking fate to intervene.

          I’m not saying I won’t help fate along; I did my bit to make Santorum.what it is today.

          (As search result, I mean.)

    2. Roborat

      I want to know what ads start coming up for people who searched on blowjob cat.

  44. Rei

    The fact that blowjob cat exists makes this 1000% funnier

  45. nobodybasically

    Is it just me, or does it look like the sign says “Furview Elementary”?

    Is this like a school entirely for the type of people who would enjoy blowjob cat?

    1. Michael Chandra

      Yeah looks that way but it’s Fairview.

  46. Orion Fury

    You can’t make me accept Blowjob Cat! You’ve set yourself up for an impossible challenge! Why you ALL GLORY TO BLOWJOB CAT!

    1. SgtWadeyWilson

      NOT ENOUGH GLORY! (SARC-*Ahem* sarcasm, probably enough BJC glory to go around today.)

      1. Orion Fury

        Glad to see that one’s still floating around. Gotta try to get on here more often for my other cliche posts.

        1. SgtWadeyWilson

          Who could forget the comedic style of Onion Furry? It is shrouded in the mists of legendary, forever etched into the walls of- ehh, it’s funny, that’s enough.

          Can’t remember your other cliches ATM to be honest.

        2. Orion Fury

          Well I do try to be funny, so thank you. Also:

          * Not Enough X (or a variation thereof)
          * Useage of the abbr tag
          * Fervently agreeing with whatever Emperor Norton II says
          * Referring to the Duke of Thingly whenever Walky is in the comic

          Some newer ones are:
          * Using some combination of the words ‘challenge’ and ‘accepted’ in one comic a day
          * A post consisting of ‘Damn it all’ which stems from when I had an idea for a joke, but upon further review of it might be offensive, but by that point I’m already mentally committed to post something.

          Along with the occasional:
          * Comically missing the point
          * Joining in on a ‘Becky X’ thread
          * And wondering where Candlejack gets all that rope from, must get some kinda disc

        3. Halpful

          that abbr tag is really not mobile-friendly. today even my rss client won’t show me the source; I had to use my computer to read it.

        4. SgtWadeyWilson

          Dang, I shoulda at least remembered “comically missing the point,” it’s one of my favorites!

          Not enough RAM! (Great, now I sound like Gridrunner.)

        5. Orion Fury

          Also just recalled another one, it’s so rare it’s only happened like two, maybe three times. Whenever the word ‘rampage’ appears in the comic or blog post, I’m compulsed to post a quote, or variation thereof, from Beast Wars.

        6. Orion Fury

          Oh, and a Godwin’s Law Event Horizon reference.

    2. Kamino Neko

      Blowjob Cat seems like it would prefer glory holes.

  47. syngraphea

    BLOOMINGTONIAN HERE, CAN CONFIRM BLOWJOB CAT’S EXISTENCE. o.O

    1. avarisclari

      Thank god someone else here didn’t have to go to google. I pass it every day on my way to work.

  48. A Trans Woman

    Honest to goodness question: is Meredith trans? For whatever reason, I get the sense that she is.

    1. Nono

      We haven’t seen too much of her, but there’s nothing to indicate that she is. And her appearances in other universes have definitely shown so far that she isn’t.

      Carla’s the only one that we know of so far. And I think if Meredith was, she’d also have her own room (but again, we haven’t seen enough of her).

      1. John

        Jocelyne. Alex.

      2. Stella

        There isn’t anything to indicate she is, *but* there isn’t anything to indicate she’s not, so…any headcanon is plausible?

        As I’ve never read previous AU comics (Shortpacked, etc) I can’t speak to her gender in those strips. But maybe?

        1. Nono

          Meredith’s Shortpacked incarnation was Amber’s internet crush’s roommate who basically got him to grow a pedostache to put Amber off and break up with him. After Amber did so, Meredith basically pounced on the guy and got him to shave him back off after they had lotsasex.

        2. SgtWadeyWilson

          Ah, the Gender Uncertainty Principle…

          Somebody help me get Blowjob Cat into a box so we can demonstrate!

        3. OnyxIdol

          This was a delightful mishmash of topics and concepts, well done.

        4. SgtWadeyWilson

          *Tips hat.*

        5. Tan

          Blowjob Cat’s gender is known to be female per https://www.mccsc.edu/Page/448

  49. Reltzik

    Blowjob Cat now has its own tag.

    1. Tacos

      As is its right.

      1. Emperor Daniel

        All hail Blowjob Cat.

        1. Inspector Hound

          All Hail Blowjob Cat the Glow Cloud.

  50. Tomas

    That third panel taken out of context looks like the “DAB DAB DAB” Shortpacked comic.

    Or.

    Joe and Meredith are both Blowjob Cat Pokémon in disguise.

  51. John

    Blowjob Cat?

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Blowjob cat.

      1. butting

        Blowjob cat.

        1. Deanatay

          BLOWJOB CAT.

  52. Tim

    I am assuming that she rode past the Taco Bell just to see what the hell a “Blowjob Cat” was. Curiosity got the better of her. I mean, there’s no way I could just go to Taco Bell and back after that conversation.

    1. Portland

      Curiosity blew the cat.

      (But satisfaction brought it back.)

      1. SgtWadeyWilson

        You just went there.(and back again.)

        Surprisingly amusing.

      2. Delicious Taffy

        Jesus Christ. If I believed in Oregon, I’d go there and shake your hand, assuming you actually live in Portland and aren’t simply using the name as a handle.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Oh, to clarify, when I say “I don’t believe in Oregon,” I’m not saying I lack faith in any of the sports teams or whatever. I mean it in exactly the same way as “I don’t believe in Santa Claus/Slender Man/God”. No, this is not joke, goof, spoof, or troll. I sincerely lack belief in the existence of the state of Oregon.

          That should clear things up, I think. If not, I’m happy to answer any questions, because I do understand that this is probably an odd thing to say.

        2. Yumi

          You know, I’ve been to Oregon, and I’m not sure I believe in it either.

        3. StClair

          I’ve lived in Oregon most of my life, and there are still times…

        4. Deanatay

          Could be from Maine…

        5. Delicious Taffy

          Yeah, but don’t people stay out of Maine, thanks to all those travel guides by Stephen King?

        6. Roborat

          So, when you drive from Washington to California, there is a several hour stretch where you are travelling through nothing?

        7. Delicious Taffy

          I’ve never been any further east than St. Louis, and I’ve never been any further north than Springfield, so I wouldn’t know anything about Washington or California.

        8. butting

          Oregon’s a myth invented by the state of Washington to keep out all but the most committed Californians, is the version I’ve heard.

  53. Reltzik

    …. HUH. I was going to criticize Joe for giving a bad choice of landmark, because Blowjob Cat’s a full thousand feet past Taco Bell (according to Google Maps), but it looks like there’s no good landmark prior to that.

    1. Bicycle Bill

      It’s about a mile and a half (by bicycle, using campus roads and sidewalks) from Read Hall to the Taco Bell on 7th and Walnut Street, and it’s only four blocks past that to Fairview Elementary and ‘Blowjob Cat’.  As a cyclist I can attest to the fact that I’ve ridden farther out of my way than that looking for something; and let me tell you, if someone had told *ME* about ‘Blowjob Cat’ you’d better believe that I’d have gone looking for it.

  54. Telleo

    Guys. It’s Singularikitty. Get it? It SUCKS.

  55. Drakkin the Alien

    … funny thing is I recall one epissode of the local good-housekepping tv show way back in the late 70’s and it was about “how to make a veggie burger!”. It was about how to take 1kg of flour and then process it to extract all the gluten and make the burger… fat free!…meat free!: pure protein!! We were in the middle of a dictatorship regime and proper meat was scarce. I guess the gluten burger was not very popular but just because flour was expensive and scarce too. 😀

  56. Cerberus

    Comic Reactions:

    Blowjob cat.

    Or but seriously, I’m actually really proud of Joe here. He’s respectful, he doesn’t use blowjob cat to make a horrible joke at Meredith’s expense, and he tries to do something to make up for the fact that he didn’t anticipate students having gluten allergies.

    Like, if this Joe continues to be the Joe we see moving forward, I’m going to be ecstatic. I know there will likely be backslides, but I’m proud of him anyways and really hopeful for his continued escape from the hell of toxic masculinity.

    OT personal stuff: So, um… some of you know about my fiancee breaking up over text message. We made plans to talk face-to-face today and that didn’t end up happening and the text messages I got from them instead kinda confirmed every single fear I have about myself and myself in relationships.

    I dunno… maybe I am a monster and I’m too narcissistic to notice it. I try to do right by people and some people say I do, but I dunno, when someone’s a primary or family, it’s like they see something horrific under my surface and run screaming eventually and I don’t know how to stop it.

    Sorry for rambling everybody, but I don’t really have anyone else to turn to right now.

    1. SgtWadeyWilson

      [Insert appropriate gesture of support here]
      I don’t generally do serious, but some of the stuff you’ve said before has genuinely helped me, so hey, guess I’ll be seriously supportive.

      1. Cerberus

        Thanks. *hugs tightly*

    2. Rukduk

      *hugs*
      Don’t worry about rambling at all. We’re here for you if you need to vent or talk. You’re not a monster. And you’re definitely not a narcissist. I’m deeply sorry about what happened. But I also honestly believe that one day you will have a primary who loves you and doesn’t “run off screaming”. And honestly, if they weren’t willing to meet face-to-face, maybe they weren’t they right person for you. If there’s anything we can do to help you, just let us know. If you need to take some time to process what has happened and take care of yourself, take that time. And I want you to remember when things feel bad, when the depression that you’ve mentioned gets really bad, that there’s a group of people who fervently believe that you deserve to be happy, and spend as much time as possible happy.

    3. Nobody

      I’m pretty lousy at assurance but I’m pretty doubtful someone too narcissistic to notice their flaws would be so ready to blame themselves for the collapse of a relationship so I think you’re a better person than you believe

      1. Kamino Neko

        I agree with Nobody.

        1. ArcaneDarkness

          Do you agree with him/her, or you needed to do that pun?

      2. StClair

        Excellent point, IMO.

    4. Halpful

      omfg firefox lost my comment. my rather long comment. so, here’s the abridged version I guess?

      I’m certain you’re not a monster *here*.
      that “eventually” is an unfalsifiable statement, if it was in my brain I wouldn’t trust it.

      and, that thing walky said… oh, I can go look it up now.
      “You are beautiful. It’s the world that’s ugly.”

      *hugs*

      1. Halpful

        and, hopefully you’ve got a therapist appointment lined up? someone in RL who can remind you of all the good parts there? (hey, would it help to talk about the awesome new job?)

      2. Halpful

        and for good measure, a link to that quote: http://www.itswalky.com/comic/its-the-rain/

      3. Arian

        Yeah, what is with posts vanishing like that? Mine disappeared too. :/

        1. Arian

          – Oops, the threading made my comment turn up under some others, so I sound like I think my vanishing post is more vital than the other things Halpful halpfully said. Definitely not.

    5. Reltzik

      ….. yeah, I’m the last person who should be offering any advice on relationships. So *hugs* (we’re at the point where it’s established you accept internet hugs, right?) and I’ll leave it to more competent people to help in your care.

      As for Joe, he’s clearing some pretty low hurdles here. I mean, it’s nice that he IS clearing them, but it feels a bit like damning with faint praise. The real test will be to see if he can treat women like friends and human beings rather than sex objects.

    6. zoelogical

      joe is doing much better!! the only question i have is whether this was something he always knew how to do or not, and what stopped him from doing this previously. or was it just kind of a thing where he turned it off in certain situations??? idk

      *hugs* personally i struggle like all the time with feeling like i have the ability to “fix” relationships, or like. should have the unreal amount of foresight to fix a situation before it goes “bad”, by which definition i mean i have to have a confrontation or it starts to disintegrate. and like. i guess relationships aren’t really like that??? you just happen to be where you happen to be and the other person is where they are and you latch on or you don’t. and sometimes the worst bits of you latch onto the worst bits of them, and sometimes the best bits of you latch onto the best bits of them. and sometimes it’s just kind of mleh. and sometimes the relationships stick and sometimes they don’t. and like it’s all just…whatever? whatever. whatever it is that happens to stick.

      but. like. someone having the bad taste to walk away from someone as great as you are (and to break up with you via text message!!) is clearly someone who has their own issues to work out. IDK i would. strongly suspect that whatever they are going through is strongly centered about them, not about you in particular. but that is my opinion as someone who pretty much just knows nothing specifically about the situation and other person involved

      REGARDLESS, you have always seemed like a fairly honorable and good person who is under a fair amount of stress!! i think someone as perceptive as you are would know whether or not you are a monster, and i think that having that doubt kind of automatically makes you not one! an actual monster probably would not care whether or not they were a monster. i think it is very likely that you are simply a complicated person, much like most people.

      -hugs-

    7. CJ

      Just remember that people say things (and write even worse) when breaking up, because they feel they have to justify their decision. So instead of saying “this is not what I want” they end up finding “reasons” that seem to lie in the character of their partner. There is not much truth to be found in them and even these little grains are contorted.

      1. butting

        A-men.

    8. C.T Phipps

      My view is, instead of maybe you being a monster and awful, maybe he was just being a bag of dicks. I say this with the full knowledge I know nothing about your relationship but am simply noting you have never come off in any interview or discussion as anything but well-mannered, police, concerned for others, and only pissed off about bigots or awful behavior.

      1. Li

        *they

    9. Anowan

      Cerberus, I think we both know that the abyss of self-loathing that has been carved into you, into me, into a lot of people, has properties that deform the image others give us of ourselves. It’s the case with normal conversations and it can only be worse with all the talking after breaking up.

      Even if truely unkind remarks have been made to you, you also know that the disappearance of the love make people harsher and sometimes crueler. Give it time. In weeks, months, maybe you’ll maybe talk again and hear something like : “I exagerated. I was unkind.” Or, if first case : “That’s not what I meant ! I didn’t think you would take it so personnally and so badly !”

      Whatever happened, your fiancée stopped being in love with you. I’ve known one person in my life who has had the courage to say “I don’t want a relationship anymore because I stopped being in love with you”. (It wasn’t me.) Sometimes people just fall out of love and invent loads and loads of “reasonable reasons” why their love would fade, because it’s scary to think we can change for no reason without it being a tragedy, thinking or feeling one thing one day and the other tomorrow.

      Be fine. I know nothing I can say can make you suddendly stop worrying about being a terrible person that drives people away, but please, in time, be fine.

      You have proven times after times that you will give time and energy even to perfect strangers (*points thumbs at herself*, because even if I was suddendly to think everything you told us about your job was lies and exageration, I’ve witnessed you soothing my own pain !). That is not the work of a Narcisse. That is the work of someone who has been told countless time that she was not selfless enough.

      I may be wrong, but I kinda believe the voice of your father, telling you how selfish you are for existing, still echoes in your head, and that resonates deeply with any claims made by people you care about that maybe, one time, you didn’t care as much as they would have liked. And even the tiniest soundwave of “you weren’t selfless” becomes AMPLIFIED UNTIL YOU CAN’T HEAR ANYTHING ELSE.

      Sorry for going into the analytical BS, that’s just a feeling I have and I’m making the bet that maybe writing it to you will do more good than harm, but if I was wrong and it harmed you know that I’m sorry.

      You know a lot of people likes you here and you know how you helped some of us and how you turned these commentaries into ressources for folks who deal with the same issues than the characters of the comic and weren’t even aware those were issues and how you participate in the safeness of this place. You deserve soothing ; please take it from all the replies.

      1. Cerberus

        Thank you and yeah, I think you’re dead on there. My dad calling me selfish for being trans really fucked with my head, so I get really scared and antsy when I’m failing to be adequately selfless or supportive and it’s really hard for me to ask for help when I need it (this coming after I came to them a lot dealing with the initial trauma responses for a sexual assault really doesn’t help this complex).

        And thank you, it means a lot that I was able to help you.

        1. Murgatroyd

          Just wanted to point out that saying someone is selfish for being trans makes zero sense and that thinking someone is selfish for having initial trauma responses to sexual assault is garbage. I know you probably know that cognitively, if not emotionally, but just to emphasize it. You have needs, like any other person. That doesn’t mean you’re selfish. You’re not.

          And honestly I know everything is fresh right now so this might not be easy/possible to believe at the moment, but if someone freaks out because you needed care after being sexually assaulted then you’re probably better off not marrying them. Obviously I don’t know your (ex?)-fiancee, I don’t know your exact trauma responses and how that may have triggered them, etc., so I don’t want to make any judgments on their character. I mean, it is possible and forgivable for a person to just not have the mental resources to support someone else in a given situation, so, benefit of the doubt. However, if they couldn’t support you and meet your completely legitimate need to have a safe person to be with after sexual assault, then they probably wouldn’t have been a good life partner. You (like everyone else) deserve someone you can depend on.

        2. Halpful

          yeah, I can see it in your comments; you’re oddly eager to take the blame in any conflict, and your apologies sound like Ruth’s right after a visit from “sir”. I wanna hug all the fear away :/

          I have a lot of trouble asking for things myself, and I tend to fold like a wet paper bag at the slightest hint of disagreement… I’m working on it, but I’m not sure I’d have the strength to do so without my husband’s support (and his insistence that yes, he really wants me to ask for things and say no to things)

    10. Nenja

      You’re not a monster. I only know you from the internet, but nothing you’ve written here seems monstery in any way. You’re a kind, smart person that care about your students and other people. You’ve been through a lot of bad stuff, but none of that is your fault, that is the world and life being shitty. *sends good thoughts and support*

    11. Delicious Taffy

      You said something that set off an alarm in my head – “…the text messages I got from them instead kinda confirmed every single fear I have about myself and myself in relationships”.

      Knowing absolutely nothing about this person’s character or personality, I only have myself as a frame of reference for this, but… That was probably intentional. They’re close enough for you to consider marriage (or an alternative I’m probably ignorant of), so I’d be surprised if they don’t know enough about you and your mind to tailor a message to hit all of your insecurities. During near-breakup marathon arguments, I’ve said some absolutely horrendous things, knowing fully well how much harm it would do. Again, I don’t know your (ex?)partner, and don’t want to make any needless character judgments, but people are people, and sometimes we’re the worst to those closest to us.

      Naturally, I hope that this isn’t the case and that the stress and pain of the situation are making you jump at shadows. That may sound odd, but I’ve found it’s preferable to being right, because it passes and you can move on, and potentially even reconcile. When you fear the worst, the best case scenario is that you’re wrong, after all.

      Just take good care of yourself, keep safe, and remember that even though things are hard right now, you have at least one source of moral support if you need to talk. For the most part, there are good eggs on this site, and everyone’s been through something, so you’re not entirely on your own.

    12. butting

      If it’s okay to say? We see you being kind to strangers every day, we see you bringing insights that no narcissist would ever consider, and when you talk about the work you do with vulnerable kids we listen in awe (and hope that we can remember to apply those lessons when it’s our turn to be the grownups in our lives). You’re about as far from a monster as I can think.

      1. OBBWG

        This. butting said it much better I ever could.

    13. bhtooefr

      Your fiancee broke up with you over text message? Yeah, I’m gonna say that you’re not the monster here.

      I’ll echo everyone else, and place an appropriate gesture of support here.

    14. Fart Captor

      That absolutely blows. You are an amazing, wonderful person, and you deserve so much better than that. The world needs more people like you in it.

      *hugs*

    15. Arioch

      Ramble away, friend. You are neither a monster, nor a narcissist. We’ve never met in real life, so I can only go by what you post. But, judging by your posts, you are honest, forthright, insightful, compassionate, and have been through the ringer several times over. You are a bright light for those around you, do not let this dark patch dim your light for too long. We are here. *hug*

    16. Vulcanodon

      Oh no, how awful!
      I recognize, appreciate, and validate that you are constantly supportive of total strangers, helping people with serious issues even when you will never meet them.

    17. Southern Belle

      *offers hugs* I’m so, so sorry Cerb. I want to echo all the sentiments expressed above. I hope the insecurities and pains don’t eat away at you too long.

      Also, from things you have mentioned regarding your fiance in the past… I do tend to wonder if this is more about them than you. When mine cycles through depression, anger, and feeling numb, they often push away at everyone, and me the most since I am the closest. Horrible things have been said. Things that intentionally chip at my insecurities. Sometimes out of a desire to push me away because they don’t think they’re good enough. Sometimes just because they hurt so much they lash out at anyone around. The point being that in the aftermath, after the dust settles, the things that were said never end up being true.

      Whether your relationship is over or not (and sadly from what you say it’s sounding more like it is) — the fault does not all lie with you. You are a person, complicated and flawed and messy, but you are no monster. You are dealing with a lot of pain, your partner was too. The world is a stressful and scary place. Sometimes all of those things cause fallout, and it’s not always anyone’s fault.

      I feel like I’m rambling here. I just hope that, in time, you will be ok. I’m joining the small army here who’s always rooting for you. <3

    18. thejeff

      Everyone else has said it better, but don’t believe the part of your brain that’s telling you you’re a monster. It lies. You know it does. Listen to the better parts.

    19. StClair

      You are not a monster. You are wise and strong and a better person than me (really).

    20. Leorale

      Sincere condolences on the heartbreak.

      In case it’s any consolation:
      From your description, it seems that your ex is lashing out very hurtfully, in which case, they’re speaking their anger and grief, they’re not speaking deep truths about you.
      Please remember not to make decisions while in grief/mourning — especially not decisions about yourself, based on what somebody says when they’re breaking your heart.

      Words are how I show love. Love to you.

    21. Sam

      You are not a monster, your ex-fiancee is likely just lashing out at you knowing that hitting all your worst fears and insecurities will push you away further.

      I don’t know her so I don’t know why she would break up with you by text, why she would hurt you like this or why she suddenly decided to do so but, this does not reflect poorly on you by any means. This was her decision to do so without giving you a chance for input and if you really had a lot of issues, then why did she never bring them up before? It sounds less like they were real issues and more like she is just lashing out with the ammo she knows will hit you and push you away from her – whether that is to primarily push you away or to deflect blame from herself to you or just an outburst of anger, I don’t know.

      But I do know you are not a monster. You have done plenty of genuinely kind things for other people – you have given them emotional support, you have tried to support partners even ones that gave unreasonable terms, you have supported student rape victims and likely abuse victims as well. You choose to do a lot of good where you can.

    22. Zer0

      Cerberus, you are rad.

      I have seen compassion, kindness and so many more great things come out of your comments, and I hope you can see the light you bring into this world. You have definitely given me a new perspective on things and helped me to be a better me. I’m sorry to hear about your fiancee’s change of heart, but I know that whatever happens it isn’t because you are a monster. You deserve great things.

      Peace and blessings.

    23. Roborat

      Your fiancée broke up with you by text and won’t meet you face to face? Seems to me that while someone is a monster, it sure the hell isn’t you. I only know you from your posting here, but someone who has been put through the shit you have, shit that would have broken me long ago, and still be able to fight so fiercely for your students, and show the compassion for others that you show, is an amazing person. I am sure you will find someone who recognizes those qualities in you someday.

    24. Cerberus

      *hugs everyone who responded last night tightly and gratefully sobs*

      Thank you everyone. This was a beautiful thing to wake up to this morning and it means a lot to me. And thank you for the external reassurances. I shouldn’t want them, but it’s nice when my depression is screaming about all my fears being real and true.

      And for the follow-up, this morning I woke up to some texts from the fiancee. They apologized and acknowledged text isn’t working and we’re going to try again to meet face-to-face. I’m hoping there’s something to salvage. If not, I hope we can at least have an amicable break that allows us to remain friends.

      Thank you all for helping me get through this nightmare.

      1. Li

        I’m obviously late to the Cerberus-love party, but just the fact that there IS such a party should hopefully give you some ammunition against the brain weasels.

        I know that it can feel like online kindness doesn’t count, when we aren’t able to be as perfect in person — but, apart from the fact that “perfect” is a super unrealistic and unfair standard to hold yourself to, it’s NOT that online kindness doesn’t count. Far from it!

        To expand on this: being kind online is, in a way, easier — you can modulate your communication, you can take breaks to recover spoons, you are not required to make all of your responses in real time with a person who might be making it harder to be kind through their body language or their volume or the urgency of their crisis.

        So who you are online, Cerberus, is who I think you would be all the time with unlimited spoons. It’s your true colors shining through, if you’ll pardon the Cyndi Lauper.

        And if you still doubt it — look at what entirely too many people do online. Look at the sincere, common belief that anonymity automatically turns perfectly nice folks into assholes. It’s easier to be kind online — but it’s also easier to be a jerk, to disregard other people’s feelings.

        So. Who you are here? It’s real. It counts.

        (Also “shouldn’t want” external reassurances? That sounds brain-weasel-y. It is a completely normal thing to want external reassurance; even to need it! And when you’re having insecurities seemingly confirmed from someone you let as close to you as an intimate partner… it’s so extra-ultra-super understandable to _seek_ external reassurance. You need a “tie-breaker” for what you’ve been told, right..? It’s pure rationality!)

        1. Halpful

          “So who you are online, Cerberus, is who I think you would be all the time with unlimited spoons. It’s your true colors shining through”

          omg, that is a wonderful concept. 🙂 🙂 this comment wins all the internets forever.

        2. Arian

          “I’m obviously late to the Cerberus-love party” – I *wasn’t* late to the Cerberus-love party, but my post seems to have evaporated into the aether. 🙁 I didn’t say anything very inspired: just the same true and (aiming to be) encouraging things as everyone else. I’ll sum it up as *loves Cerberus*.

      2. Halpful

        “I shouldn’t want them”

        bullshit. you’re a human being, and a traumatized one at that. it’s not selfish to want reassurance.

        it would be kinda inconvenient if you wanted it every 5 seconds, but that doesn’t seem to be the case here 😉 and hell, we’re willing to deal with some inconvenience to help you heal.

        1. Murgatroyd

          Seconded. You know that if anyone else were feeling the way you’ve been feeling, you’d never tell them that wanting reassurance is a flaw.

          (Also I apologize for my previous comment — I hadn’t read this far down so I didn’t realize you two were going to work on salvaging things.)

      3. Spencer

        I wish I had some great insight to provide you to get you out of this funk, but all I can say is that you don’t deserve to feel like this. You are awesome and deserve love.

      4. Jhon

        You will get through this.
        You will continue to be awesome.

      5. zoelogical

        -hugs-

  57. BenRG

    I mean, seriously, what else was Joe meant to call it?

    1. Reltzik

      Schoolage-inappropriate-cat.

  58. Halpful

    btw, you guys might like the “sandwich of consent” strips that http://thedevilspanties.com has been doing the last few days 🙂

    1. Delicious Taffy

      I don’t get the first one. How is the person a slut for being picky about when to share the sandwich?

      1. AGV

        They’re metaphors with sex and appearence

        The first one is a common reaction to one night stands

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Wait, so if you have a one-night stand, and then don’t instantly enter a monogamous relationship with that person, you’re a slut? Or if you’re already in a relationship with that person and just don’t feel like sex some days, you’re a slut? I don’t understand all the weird shit around sex, honestly. Maybe it’s my autism blinding me to social norms, but I never see the point in having a bunch of extra qualifiers on things, especially something as simple as sex.

        2. Sam

          People would slutshame someone for not feeling like having sex some days or for agreeing to a one-night stand one day but not wanting another the next. Some people will look for any reason to shame someone for their choices, particularly when they are the one feeling entitled to sex when the other person is under no obligation to have it with them to start with.

        3. Halpful

          you’re just pointing out that the emperor has no clothes. 😉

          this “weird shit” is fucking stupid, and ought to be called out more often.

        4. Delicious Taffy

          Why shouldn’t I point it out? That emperor is fucking naked, and somebody should probably tell him he’s been swindled.

        5. Halpful

          er… yes? we are in agreement but I can’t tell whether you thought I was disagreeing or I’m the one misreading things 🙂

        6. Delicious Taffy

          Oh, that’s a habit of mine. I’ve spent so much time not being sure if I’m conveying emotions and communicating correctly, I sometimes get redundant with what I’m saying, just to double down. Sorry for the confusion.

    2. ValdVin

      Neat stuff, manages to seem tongue in cheek yet straight.

      Beats the heck out of that metaphor for purity some kids are taught–what is it, you’re a lollipop and if you let other teens lick you, nobody will want to marry you?

      1. Kamino Neko

        … That explains a slightly odd comic strip I saw a couple weeks ago. (It literalized that metaphor.)

      2. Jhon

        So many old maid lollipops…

  59. JessWitt

    Has anyone ever complained about the cat sculpture, like easily offended parents of the Helen Lovejoy variety?

    1. Aphrodite

      And my brain went instantly to “The pool is closed”. (Youtube it)

  60. NinjaNick

    Creepy cat.

  61. CandidCanid

    People look really proportional all of a sudden. Like, the tall people don’t look billions of miles taller and bigger than the short people. Ruth looks tall. It’s really subtle but I feel it.

  62. Dracke

    Why is with the gluten thing? why people ask things without gluten, im honestly asking i have seen only 2 places that are purely gluten free here in mexico city so i dont realy know whats the deal with it.

    1. Matt?

      So there’s an autoimmune disorder called Celiac disease which stops the body from being able to absorb gluten. It can cause reasonably severe issues such as chronic diarrhea and stop the gut from absorbing nutrients properly. This meant there had to be gluten free foods and things made, and then a group of people came along and decided that since it stops people with the autoimmune disease from being sick, it must be a healthy alternative. That is, if gluten is unhealthy for a subset of the population it must secretly be unhealthy for the whole population. Gluten-free fad diets started popping up and now things are like as they are.

    2. Rodimiss

      It’s an allergy – gluten is a thing found in grains like wheat, and people who have Celiac disease, for instance, have a severe allergy to it. They can’t eat “regular” breads, pastries, pasta… People without Celiac can have the allergy too, and the severity of it depends. Mine is relatively mild, it upsets my stomach and gives me a headache.

      Gluten free has also lately become a sort of fad diet for people who don’t have an allergy. Some people say it makes them feel better avoiding it anyway, even though they’re not allergic. Some people just think it’s healthier, even though it’s not necessarily any better.

    3. AGV

      Some people have problems when digesting or metabolizing it, so it’s a necessity

      In others is a dietary choice

    4. Greylurker

      I have a Gluten allergy myself, apparently it inflames my veins giving me a migraine. My aunt if full on Celiac so even a little bit of gluten will cripple her. For my mother staying off gluten actually helps with her arthritis.

      It’s not something I would do voluntarily though, most of the gluten free stuff I’ve had tastes awful. There is a specialty bakery that isn’t too bad, and my favorite Pizza place does a decent gluten free crust on their 10″, but the stuff you find in the grocery store is terrible. Sometimes I decide the migraine is worth it.

      1. Shadow Eagle

        a theory has gone out that it’s not the gluten, but the pesticides on the wheat that’s affecting you. Others with gluten allergy found out they have no problem with bread and such in other countries. i found that quite interesting….

        1. Doom Shepherd

          Sounds like accusations leveled against glyphosate..
          I’ve heard of those being roundly debunked on pro-science sites.

      2. StClair

        I have an odd reaction to baked goods (often, but not always, which just makes it more weird) – about half an hour after consuming, I’ll often have a sneezing fit. It’s definitely not celiac, and I’m not even sure it’s not a response to the spices or something else.

    5. Gluten Answer

      Some people are allergic to it. My GF is mildly allergic, in that it will give her bad stomach pain when she eats it. Other people are seriously allergic to it (coeliac), in that it will make them violently ill if they eat it.

      Other people (idiots) think that not eating gluten will make them healthy (protip: If you are not allergic to it, not eating it will fuck up your gut bacteria)

    6. Celiac Sufferer

      I have Celiac Sprue. Its an autoimmune disorder that was often misdiagnosed as crohns or lupis, both of which my aunt was diagnosed with before they actually found out was wrong. Its genetic, my father, brother, sister, and aunt all have it. Last time I had a wheat product I was curled into a corner of my bathtub, reeling from the cramps in my abdomen; it feels like someone had stabbed me with a corkscrew and started twisting.

    7. Nichan

      Alright, so… it is absolutely not an allergy.
      While some people are genuinely allergic to wheat, and some people are gluten sensitive, there are others who have celiac disease.
      Neither a disease nor an allergy, CD is actually an autoimmune disorder in which the immune system goes haywire upon a sufferer’s consumption of gluten. It can cause many, many symptoms, including eventual cancer if untreated/ignored. It can also cause early death in several other ways, as eventually the villi in a celiac’s gut will become completely flattened and they will be unable to absorb up to 90% of the nutrients they’re consuming.
      At present, the only own treatment is to avoid even the tiniest amounts of gluten. If you make a peanut butter sandwhich for yourself, and then make a sandwhich for a celiac using gluten free bread but using the same knife, it will trigger their immune system to attack.

      …Also it SUCKS and I miss doughnuts SO BAD, you guys.

  63. Tualha

    Now that Willis has made Blowjob Cat internet famous, I can just see the
    kiddies coming home.

    “Mama?” “Yes dear?” “Bobby was sayin’ the cat outside school is blowjob
    cat. What’s blowjob?”

    I think Blowjob Cat’s days are numbered …

    1. Reltzik

      There is no way that every high schooler and most middle schoolers in town aren’t already calling it that.

      …. well, okay, 80% of them.

      1. Reltzik

        Also, why ask parents when your phone has google?

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Google won’t try to sugar-coat shit, either. It’ll go straight to wieners in mouths, and you’ll know, instead of having to put up with seven different styles of sugar-coating martial arts, the likes of which you could never hope to withstand.

  64. Archivist

    I FINALLY UNDERSTAND HIS TUMBLR WALLPAPER.

  65. Abel Undercity

    (CN: Wartime violence)

    On the Penn State campus, there is (or maybe was, I don’t know, it’s been a while), a piece of art that’s essentially a cutout of a human figure. It’s the outline of a soldier who was caught by a photographer at the exact second that the bullet that killed him struck him in the head. The intent of the piece was to convey the violence and futility of war, to the point that he painted it a bright, violent red.

    We called it the Big Red Onion Head.

    1. Kamino Neko

      Is it this photo?

      1. Abel Undercity

        That’s the one.

  66. AGV

    I was going to make a joke with Cookie Cat and BJ Cat, but I just can’t

  67. Shadow Eagle

    Blowjob Cat…. best ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  68. ischemgeek

    BJ cat reminds me of The Dick and Balls.

    Long story short on a uni campus in a city I used to live near and still visit about once a year for work is a statue that ostensibly is ” A [racial slur for Inuit people] shovelling snow.” It looks like a semi-erect penis and scrotum. I had a similar conversation with someone while attending a conference. “Go past [building] along [street]. If you pass the Dick and Balls you’ve gone too far.”

  69. Drew

    Joe has mastered the straight-faced delivery, I swear.

    I’m not sure what my favorite part of this strip is – that Joe was genuinely apologetic for not anticipating someone’s dietary needs and attempted to make up for it with an alternative, or that Meredith did pretty much exactly what I would have done and sought out the Blowjob Cat because I would have been wondering what the heck he meant by that forever after until I saw it for myself…

    (Been reading for a while now but first time posting. Hello everyone!)

  70. Dex

    Meredith found the Taco Bell without any difficulty, but she kept biking past it anyway because she had to know what in the hell Joe was talking about.

    The legend of Blowjob Cat lives on.

  71. BabyBlue

    Had a similar conversation when I was directing some friends to a comic shop back in college.
    Me: “So you keep going straight, then turn at the Flagpole.”
    Friend: “How will I know which flagpole is the flagpole?”
    Me: “Trust me, you’ll know”
    The flagpole is a giant flagpole in the middle of the street. Not on an island or anything, just literally stuck into the middle of the street pavement outside city hall in Newtown CT. It’s literally impossible to miss.
    http://www.newtownhistory.org/images/flagpole.jpg

    1. thejeff

      Yeah, I’ve had a few directions like that. You spend the first part of the trip going “Is that it? What about that one?”, then you see the Thing and it’s completely obvious.

      1. ischemgeek

        In my city we have a church like that. “Turn left at the Ugly Church.”

        “How do I know what is the ugly church?”

        “Trust me, you’ll know.”

        … I dam near always get “Holy shit that’s an ugly church! You weren’t kidding!” afterwards.

        1. thejeff

          And then there’s backwoods Vermont directions:
          “Turn left at Old Man Simmons’ barn. That’s the blue one. Burned down 10 years ago.”

        2. ischemgeek

          “Hang a right at the old school house.”

          “Huh? The one up in the village? You can’t turn right there.”

          “No, the other one.”

          “The one up on Old Road Hill?”

          “No, the other one.”

          “I don’t know the other one.”

          “That’s cuz you’re From Away [note: I’d moved there at age 7 and was 19 at the time of this conversation]. It’s the empty lot across the road from where Bud’s store used to be.”

          “Up in [nearby town]?”

          “No, where Old Road Hill meets the road to [other nearby village] on the way to the ferry.”

          “There used to be a school there?!”

          “Yeah! It closed in the 60s and then it was a lion’s hall and then it got condemned cuz of the flood in 74 and burned down the year later.”

          “…. Is there any identifying mark there? Like a sign or something?”

          “Not really no.”

          “… Turn left at the old school house. Gotcha.”

  72. Josh Spicer

    Huh…Blowjob Cat…

  73. Eric

    Serious question though. Why do people ask for directions anymore? Literally every person has a computer in their pocket. Mapping and routing apps come pre-installed on each one. Furthermore, why do people call me ON THAT COMPUTER, and ask me “where are you located?” and “what are your hours?”? Literally just say “OK google” or “whatever the fuck Siri uses” and then ask that same question.

    1. Inbar Fink

      Those Map apps usually take a lot of battery and waste your cellular internet, though.

    2. Inspector Hound

      I recited out loud Meredith’s question in under five seconds, and Joe’s directions in panel two in under eight seconds. Feel free to formulate the Taco Bell question for Google Maps or Mapquest in that amount of time, not to mention the inevitable lag time before getting a response.

      Plus… social interaction is a good thing.

    3. Jhon

      Can I come and live in your world?
      Where ‘every person has a computer in their pocket’?

      1. Eric

        Jhon – current stats are 224.3M smartphones, vs 323.1M population (in the US, where this comic is sited). 60% is everyone, considering the 323.1M figure includes infants, children, and the housebound old.

        Inbar Fink – If your phone can’t operate all day, doing whatever tasks you ask of it, you bought the wrong tool.

        Inspector Hound – I will have to make a video, which will require TWO pocket computers. I’ll manage that sometime today.

        1. Halpful

          TIL “infants, children, and the housebound old” are 40% of the population, and don’t really count as people. 😛

          Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

  74. Caraway

    Sometimes it’s easier to ask the person you’re already talking to, rather than pulling out a device and trying to type or swipe the exact phrase and wait for a finicky network to load. Plus it can seem rude to just pull out your phone and start doot dooting on it. PLUS: then you might not hear about Blowjob Cat.

    I don’t have an explanation for why they would ask when they’re already on a computer, though.

  75. Purple

    I don’t have a smartphone. Many people do, but not literally everyone.

    Aside from that: there are people who have smartphones but don’t pay for data plans, so they can only look stuff up in an area with wi-fi. And Google isn’t always correct about opening hours; calling first to confirm can save a wasted trip.

    1. Purple

      (That should have been a reply to Eric)

    2. Bicycle Bill

      Don’t know how they do it.  Most carriers’ plans will automatically add a data package to the bill (if it wasn’t already there to start with) when a smartphone is added to a line of service.  You can sometimes opt in for a lesser package — one GB per bill cycle, let’s say, rather than a larger amount or even unlimited — and pay less money, but it’s still going to be there.

  76. Jeremy

    Anyone else pretending it’s “Furview Elementary School” instead of “Fairview”?

    1. Puckish Rogue

      I’m guessing no one wants to view fur at an elementary school, at least I hope not

      http://instantrimshot.com/

  77. Vrykerion

    I’ll have to keep an eye out for ‘Blowjob Cat’ next time I’m back in Bloomington. XD But I do find it personally entertaining that I knew EXACTLY which Taco Bell Joe was referring to. Used to go there a bunch with my grandparents.

  78. Gojira

    Hail blowjob cat!

  79. DJTsurugi

    blowjob cat ~<3

  80. Ryek Hvek

    Meanwhile, Steve Bannon suggests a campaign rally should be held at Fairview Elementary….

  81. Akahane

    “Well, he wasn’t wrong.”

  82. Ozzi

    The question that will break your noodle is if Joe had not said blow job cat would she of cycled to go see it? Would she of maybe gone to far anyway and found it?

    1. Puckish Rogue

      Its an intriguing description, I would’ve cycled further to check it out

    2. Delicious Taffy

      Please don’t perpetuate the “of” plague. It’s “have”. “Would she have cycled”, “Would she have maybe gone too far”, et cetera.

      1. Ryek Hvek

        Now for some reason, I’m imagining Doctor Doom teaching grammar and diagramming sentences.

      2. StClair

        This. Please.

  83. IllogicalBobcat

    I keep telling you guys Joe is an alright guy, he’s just used to a world of exactly one standard of a man’s worth. And since he’s in college, it’s not actually money for the only time in his life.

    1. Fart Captor

      That’s not really how things work? Being a good guy on the inside doesn’t count for squat if it doesn’t show in your actions, and for Joe usually has not.

      Joe’s doing great here and I love it, but it doesn’t prove that he’s been a good guy all along, or he wasn’t actually that bad. It shows he’s CAPABLE of doing better. That is actually something that has specifically made him frustrating for me since we saw him texting with Joyce: that he’d shown that he was totally capable of being a sweet guy and having respectful interactions with women, but he STILL went on to do the opposite.

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