It took me a hot minute to realize what Joyce is doing with that frying pan in panel 1. I thought she was maybe afraid Billie was about to react really poorly, and it was a defensive stance.
Odds Ruth is fully aware of Fuckface, and just doesn’t give a shit?
One thing I learned upon adulthood is how much authority figures operate on “don’t make me have to be an authority figure.” If she can in any way claim she didn’t see Fuckface then she doesn’t have to acknowledge, and therefore deal, with Fuckface being in the dorms.
Gawd, I worked in the school system for 14 years and I feel this so much. There’s so many times where it’s like “if I know about this I have to do something about it, even though I personally think there’s nothing wrong with it. Can I get away with claiming I didn’t notice? Hmmmm….”
I learned this quickly in high school. However, I remember being on the Residence House Committee back when I lived in dorm in 2nd through 5th years of uni, and it blew my mind how many of the subsequent years of freshmen didn’t get this. When there was flagrant breaking of rules, they would just yell and scream at us that it *wasn’t fair* and how the “rules were stupid” etc. ad nauseum. And I would sit there all, “If I don’t know about, I don’t need to address it, so MAKE SURE I DON’T KNOW ABOUT IT! (hint, major hint, please gods take the hint.” But then they’d go and be super obvious about it again and get mad at us for dealing consequences.
seems like it’d like herself in/other than taking off the other doorknob, i’d think someone would still be able to pick the lock (even easier?), or they could just kick the door down
BarerMender
Or shim it open with a credit card. Or student ID card.
I suspect it’s more the fact that she broke up with Billie by essentially quickly telling her it’s over and running away and hiding without having an actual discussion. For that matter, the plan from here is to have a mutual acquaintance explain the reasons for the breakup to her.
I mean, from the sounds of it she has repeatedly attempted to break up with Billie and not had her stated wishes/boundaries respected in the slightest.
I would eventually get fed up and do something drastic, too.
Or y’know she can treat Billie with a ounce of respect and talk to her like a person in a relationship does and not drive by breakup with her. You say Billie doesn’t respect her boundaries, I argue Ruth never set any. They were just making out a moment ago. Why should Billie think this breakup is legitimate?
Taffy
Yeah, sure, okay. “I break into your room and sneak into your bed while you’re sleeping, after you’ve attempted to get rid of me.” That’s worth respecting now, I guess. And candy canes will rain from the sky.
Taffy
That was nastier than I meant it to come out and I apologise for the tone. A nicer way to say it might be, I don’t think it particularly matters how much respect Billie is getting here, if she’s not just talking out her ass about repeatedly breaking in. I also need to split hairs about the “not setting boundaries” thing, because Ruth wasn’t in a very good place to set those boundaries when they got together, hence the codependent relationship, and I don’t think there’s ever a bad time to start setting them, even if it’s abrupt and directly tied to a breakup.
Sirksome
Your tone was fine. I’ve learned to try to take most comments in the best light possible since it’s so hard to convey conversational nuance in text. It’s not just Jennifer though, Ruth’s date with Daisy proves she avoids romantic confrontation.
My thing is she chose to get into this relationship, she started it more than Billie did. It’s messed up to break something off so abruptly that you initiated.
Taffy
I’d forgotten about her disaster with Daisy, tbh. I do have to disagree that it’s messed up for her to break it off just because she started it. If a breakup is a-comin’, somebody’s gotta be the one to do it, and putting it all on Billie would be just as unbalanced. It’s gonna be messy from any angle, I think.
Zach
What?
Taffy
Not an especially specific query, but I’ll do my best to clarify anyway
The first bit was just me being reminded (by Sirksome) of Ruth’s date with Daisy, which we all know went poorly. Not much to it aside from that.
The second bit is me saying, in different words, that I think a breakup is a breakup, and in a case like Billie and Ruth’s, I don’t think it matters much who pulls the trigger.
I hope that helps, because that’s about as plain as I’ve ever said anything.
To be fair, the way Ruth started the relationship was pretty much guaranteed to only get either a dumpster fire of a relationship, a lawsuit, or an employment termination.
Also, given the way the relationship was going, probably the only healthy thing to do with it was end it. This doesn’t look to me like the best way to end it, but I wouldn’t have gotten into that situation to begin with, so what do I know?
I think the problem with this is how Ruth broke up. Saying “BTW we’re breaking up” as you’re leaving a room comes off as more of a joke than a legitamate break. Especially as the two have been all lovey dovey with eachother all afternoon. The mature thing is to discuss your grievances but *gestures to name of comic*…
Axel
I literally don’t understand (@Sirksome, since this will be buried a bit). You’re saying the person who initiated a relationship can’t be the one to end it? If anything isn’t it good that Ruth realized it was fucked and pulled out?
if this is the first time Ruth has really tried to “enforce” the breakup then yeah she’s not doing the best by just mumbling it and disappearing but that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t get to end it.
Sirksome
I didn’t articulate it well. My problem isn’t that Ruth is ending the relationship, my problem is that she’s not ending it properly which is only causing more grief in the process. It makes it worse since she is the one who initiated the romance only to end it in the worst possible way. That’s not fair to Jennifer. That’s my point. Their relationship history has taught Jennifer that this isn’t real, she’s even saying as much. Ruth is responsible to actually breakup with Jennifer in a way she understands. Not say a few words in passing, knowing it’s not going to stick and taking measures to avoid the problem while she passes the buck to Dorothy to actually explain things. It’s very confusing to me that Ruth is not perceived to be in the wrong her when by her own admission she’s stated she’s doing this in the worst way possible.
But like I said I didn’t articulate this well and unfortunately caused a lot of confusion and frustration here. My bad. Sorry.
Axel
thank you for clarifying! this is why I headed with ‘I don’t understand,’ because it seemed like it couldn’t be that you thought that exactly as written
MisterJinKC
I would say Ruth set boundaries by locking the door to her private room. If it were a hetero relationship and a guy picked the lock to his (ex)girlfriend’s room the night she broke up with him we’d be calling him a stalker or abuser instead of saying she didn’t set boundaries. It’s toxic on both ends, but Ruth has clearly been attempting to change but Billie won’t let her.
thejeff
Part of their deal from the very start was that Billie wasn’t going to let Ruth push her away, because that would leave Ruth free to go back to killing herself.
I agree that under normal circumstances viewed without any context, breaking into your partner’s room after a fight would be a huge bad sign, but it’s part of the deal here. Which is a problem in itself, but not a different one than it seems at first glance.
If Ruth wants to break up, she’s going to have to address that. Or, I suppose, piss off Billie enough that she doesn’t want to come back.
Nova
Someone who breaks into your room and ignores your boundaries isn’t worthy of respect. And, again, since this apparently “happens all the time” I’m not sure how many times you believe someone should have to ask to leave a relationship before they’re taken seriously (the only correct answer should be The First Time) but I’ll wager our answers differ.
It doesn’t matter what they were doing a moment ago. Ruth said “No” and that should be respected??? Shocking to have to say that in this day and age.
From another of your replies to Taffy –
“My thing is she chose to get into this relationship, she started it more than Billie did. It’s messed up to break something off so abruptly that you initiated.”
Anyone. Can break up with anyone. For any reason. This mentality is what keeps people with their abusers. You don’t need a reason to break up, you don’t need to be nice about it, particularly if you don’t think the other person will respect you wanting to break up.
If I knew someone was going to break into my room and sneak into my bed when I broke up with them, I absolutely would not worry about how polite I was going to be in the break up. In fact, I might specifically do it in a way that upset them so they’d be LESS likely to boundary stomp.
Whoever started the relationship, however recently they were kissing/fucking/whatever, no one is required to stay with anyone or couch their break up in sweet terms. If Ruth doesn’t want to be in the relationship (regardless of why) she doesn’t have to be. And Billie acting like Ruth doesn’t get to decide that absolutely validates some abruptness on Ruth’s part.
Sirksome
This gives Ruth way too much credit. As if Jennifer is somehow the threat. This was a two-way relationship of mutual toxicity. It’s not about Ruth breaking things off with Jennifer, she has that right, it’s that she never set these boundaries in the first place. Ruth’s the one who taught Jennifer to pick locks. She’s the one who went on a bender during one of their splits because despite alcohol conflicting with her meds she wanted to be with Jennifer more. Hell Ruth practically assaulted Jennifer to initiate their romance.
This isn’t Jennifer not respecting Ruth’s boundaries or stalking her. This is a failure on both of them to actually establish what their relationship even was and Ruth quitting it without even explaining why. Jennifer thinks this is business as usual. She doesn’t know it’s a real break up. Ruth does have a responsibility to explain this is different. Not setup Dorothy to do it for her while she works on anti-Billifying her room. This isn’t Ruth escaping Jennifer, this is Ruth trying to avoid an unpleasant situation she in part created for herself.
Or she can do what she’s doing now. Which is probably why they’re so toxic post time skip. It’s her choice. Not everyone is an angel, especially in something as complicated as romance. Ruth doesn’t get any points from me for this though.
-
Totally agreed with all of this; there’s really no legitimate argument to be had as far as I can see.
Nova
Breaking into someone’s room after they break up with you is absolutely stalking and boundary stomping.
Setting a boundary is allowed at any point in the relationship, not just beforehand. Feeling as if you have to break a door to stop someone from just ignoring your latest attempt to break up with them suggests some pretty severe dislike for something you seem to think was mutually encouraged.
You and I clearly disagree about this in a way that isn’t resolvable, and I just don’t have the energy to keep talking with someone who believes that someone doesn’t deserve to have a break up respected just because they weren’t nice about it. Just YIKES.
Sirksome
I admit I’ve articulated this poorly and if you’ve become frustrated and want to exit the discussion then fair enough. I just want to clarify my position because I feel there is a miscommunication here. My apologies.
That being that I don’t actually agree with Jennifer’s methods. Ruth has the right to her agency in this situation, my problem is her method of break up robs Jennifer of hers. She’s made this decision without Jennifer’s input and can’t even truly tell her to her face. Jennifer and Ruth were partners, that implies a mutual level of respect deserved on both sides, especially since Ruth essentially trained Jennifer to react this way to a breakup.
There both not handling this very well, my initial statement was just that I don’t respect how Ruth is doing this. She’s avoiding the inevitable confrontation of this breakup. That’s what I don’t agree with. They both deserve the respect of the time invested in each other, but Ruth has chosen not to treat Jennifer with any which is why Jennifer isn’t respecting Ruth trying to initiate the breakup in the first place.
It’s not about being nice. It’s about actually breaking up with Jennifer in a way she understands. Not doing so actually hurts them both. It’s confusing for me that Jennifer is expected to know this is a legitimate end when Ruth hasn’t explained it to her. To me Ruth is actively working against herself and making the situation worse.
I still feel like I haven’t articulated this well. My apologies again, maybe our differences on this truly are unresolvable, but I don’t believe so. Either way I’ll leave it be. I don’t like causing conflict in the comments, I just like the discussion and hope to have a better one next strip.
Pimellon
I agree with most of your reasoning, but I disagree with your conclusions. In particular, “It’s messed up to break something off so abruptly that you initiated” is going way too far, to me. Anyone can break up or withdraw consent at any time, even if they are the one initiating it, without owing anyone an explanation.
Would it be better and healthier in this case to tell Jennifer the situation plainly? Definitely. But I don’t think Ruth has, at any moment, forfeited her right to just walk away, particularly if she thinks the situation is unhealthy for her in the long run. (Even if she might be wrong about that, tbh I really can’t tell if this is just her running away from happiness or not; the relationship did legitimately start on very bad terms.)
And regardless of how right or wrong Ruth’s handling of the situation is, Jennifer’s reaction in today’s strip is preeeetty yikes to me. You’re right that Ruth has trained her not to take breakup talks as actual breakups, and to break into her room, but this sort of talk should still not be normal. Even given their past, in a healthy relationship (which they allegedly are now) this should still be cause for concern, and there should be a desire to get to the root of what is happening. Jennifer just thinks this is fine. I’m not even sure if Ruth could make her take it seriously without outside help.
To be honest, she’s the one in the “wrong” here (as far as “right” and “wrong” go in the context of the Billie/ Ruth situation), pulling a drive-by dump/ leave it to Dorothy to clean up move. Anyone with even a modicum of self-awareness would be critical of their actions ex post facto, one would hope. That said, as many like to say, we have to bear in mind the strip title, etc etc.
Depends on how broken it is, with her hitting it from above she could have broken it in a way that bends the metal of the lock and stops the door from opening without something like a crowbar.
I forgot about the Resident Manager and her interesting hair choices, and googled Puddinghead to try to figure this comment out, and it’s all My Little Pony art which just made me even more confused.
Ruth is determined to sabotage this relationship.
(Because it makes her happy, and she’s not allowed to be that; and because it’ll end, everything good ends, so let’s do that now and get back to bad, which is the rightful order of things.)
I mean, she said before she’s trying to protect Billie from her (Ruth’s) own self destructive tendencies. Which, understandable, but also, she desperately needs therapy.
Unfortunately, the strip is set in the United States.
I sometimes wonder, as often as people specifically call out American therapy accessibility, in other countries, where they have better access, is it actually used properly?
Taffy
Maybe keep the nationalist undertones to yourself?
The Oracle
I- Hmm? Wanna run that by me again, stranger?
-
Just ignore this whacko, he’s always doing this. Best disregarded. You said nothing remotely worthy of criticism.
The Oracle
What the hell happened while I was asleep? This wasn’t even that big of a deal, if I’m being honest, like I thought Taffy was trying to crack a joke that just didn’t land? Calling him (them?) A “whacko” is a little out of line, I mean do we need to use terms implying somebody is crazy, in a stigmatizing manner? You also called them (him?) A “fruit loop” which, again, comes across as calling the person insane, and I think also seems queerphobic to me? I just don’t think the name calling is needed, so can we please not no that anymore, even if it’s in a nother person’s defense?
And speaking of defense, I didn’t really ask for it. If I thought Taffy was an actual problem, I’d have spoken up for myself, because this isn’t even the first time they’ve (he’s?) “”come at me”, so to speak. Which I still don’t appreciate, but I thought maybe we were just on different wavelengths.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to make this a novella, it just sits weird with me how things went here.
Matthew Davis
Sheesh — are you just looking to frame every comment in the most negative possible light? The dictionary definition of Nationalism is “identification with one’s own nation and support for its interests, especially to the exclusion or detriment of the interests of other nations.” I really don’t see The Oracle’s comment doing either, do you?
Taffy
“Every comment” nothin’. There’s just something about that one that runs me the wrong way. Maybe I misidentified it, but that’s hardly following a trend, especially tonight when I’ve been trying to be very even-tempered and fair.
Fay
“especially tonight when I’ve been trying to be very even-tempered and fair”
You realize it’s not specifically your job to respond to comments? They’re not directed at you. Your own mood doesn’t dictate how other people choose to comment.
-
This guy always seems to respond weirdly, misread tone, and act strangely aggressively in the comments here… is there any known reason for that? Just keep seeing him weirding shit up for no reason.
egg egg
this entire comment thread is hilarious because they both act aggressively towards other commentors in a similar enough manner that for a while i thought they were the same person. apparently they’re different people! just similar enough that they piss each other off
230 thoughts on “Break up”
Doctor_Who
It took me a hot minute to realize what Joyce is doing with that frying pan in panel 1. I thought she was maybe afraid Billie was about to react really poorly, and it was a defensive stance.
Odds Ruth is fully aware of Fuckface, and just doesn’t give a shit?
Dave Van Domelen
The Frying Pan of Plausible Deniability.
Matthew Davis
One thing I learned upon adulthood is how much authority figures operate on “don’t make me have to be an authority figure.” If she can in any way claim she didn’t see Fuckface then she doesn’t have to acknowledge, and therefore deal, with Fuckface being in the dorms.
Michael Haneline
Gawd, I worked in the school system for 14 years and I feel this so much. There’s so many times where it’s like “if I know about this I have to do something about it, even though I personally think there’s nothing wrong with it. Can I get away with claiming I didn’t notice? Hmmmm….”
Felis Dee
I learned this quickly in high school. However, I remember being on the Residence House Committee back when I lived in dorm in 2nd through 5th years of uni, and it blew my mind how many of the subsequent years of freshmen didn’t get this. When there was flagrant breaking of rules, they would just yell and scream at us that it *wasn’t fair* and how the “rules were stupid” etc. ad nauseum. And I would sit there all, “If I don’t know about, I don’t need to address it, so MAKE SURE I DON’T KNOW ABOUT IT! (hint, major hint, please gods take the hint.” But then they’d go and be super obvious about it again and get mad at us for dealing consequences.
GeekyWarrior
It’s her natural instinct to attack the food combiners 😀
The Wellerman
You know something’s off when the end really isn’t the end dozens of times in a row. ?
RassilonTDavros
Yeah. The sheer number of fights and mini-breakups these two have had was always going to make the big permanent breakup a bit weird to portray.
Lily
Makes me wonder how Billie would’ve done the breakup
or if doing the ‘reverse’ would work out. “Wanna get married?” “…This isn’t gonna work out”
a/snow/mous/e
the end is never the end is never the end is never
King Daniel
HAMMERTIME
milu
Comically Oversized Prop™!
(Except, regular-sized)
Sirksome
I keep losing respect for how Ruth handles relationships.
Sirksome
Also doesn’t that technically lock her in her room?
Lily
seems like it’d like herself in/other than taking off the other doorknob, i’d think someone would still be able to pick the lock (even easier?), or they could just kick the door down
BarerMender
Or shim it open with a credit card. Or student ID card.
Matthew Davis
You act like this is a negative.
Stephen Bierce
Yes, I received your letter yesterday, about the time the doorknob broke
When you asked me how I was doing, was that some kind of joke?–Bob Dylan
Schpoonman
You don’t respect taking measures to stay away from someone who regularly breaks into her room?
Xaeon
I suspect it’s more the fact that she broke up with Billie by essentially quickly telling her it’s over and running away and hiding without having an actual discussion. For that matter, the plan from here is to have a mutual acquaintance explain the reasons for the breakup to her.
Nova
I mean, from the sounds of it she has repeatedly attempted to break up with Billie and not had her stated wishes/boundaries respected in the slightest.
I would eventually get fed up and do something drastic, too.
Sirksome
Or y’know she can treat Billie with a ounce of respect and talk to her like a person in a relationship does and not drive by breakup with her. You say Billie doesn’t respect her boundaries, I argue Ruth never set any. They were just making out a moment ago. Why should Billie think this breakup is legitimate?
Taffy
Yeah, sure, okay. “I break into your room and sneak into your bed while you’re sleeping, after you’ve attempted to get rid of me.” That’s worth respecting now, I guess. And candy canes will rain from the sky.
Taffy
That was nastier than I meant it to come out and I apologise for the tone. A nicer way to say it might be, I don’t think it particularly matters how much respect Billie is getting here, if she’s not just talking out her ass about repeatedly breaking in. I also need to split hairs about the “not setting boundaries” thing, because Ruth wasn’t in a very good place to set those boundaries when they got together, hence the codependent relationship, and I don’t think there’s ever a bad time to start setting them, even if it’s abrupt and directly tied to a breakup.
Sirksome
Your tone was fine. I’ve learned to try to take most comments in the best light possible since it’s so hard to convey conversational nuance in text. It’s not just Jennifer though, Ruth’s date with Daisy proves she avoids romantic confrontation.
My thing is she chose to get into this relationship, she started it more than Billie did. It’s messed up to break something off so abruptly that you initiated.
Taffy
I’d forgotten about her disaster with Daisy, tbh. I do have to disagree that it’s messed up for her to break it off just because she started it. If a breakup is a-comin’, somebody’s gotta be the one to do it, and putting it all on Billie would be just as unbalanced. It’s gonna be messy from any angle, I think.
Zach
What?
Taffy
Not an especially specific query, but I’ll do my best to clarify anyway
The first bit was just me being reminded (by Sirksome) of Ruth’s date with Daisy, which we all know went poorly. Not much to it aside from that.
The second bit is me saying, in different words, that I think a breakup is a breakup, and in a case like Billie and Ruth’s, I don’t think it matters much who pulls the trigger.
I hope that helps, because that’s about as plain as I’ve ever said anything.
milu
What??????
Some Ed
To be fair, the way Ruth started the relationship was pretty much guaranteed to only get either a dumpster fire of a relationship, a lawsuit, or an employment termination.
Also, given the way the relationship was going, probably the only healthy thing to do with it was end it. This doesn’t look to me like the best way to end it, but I wouldn’t have gotten into that situation to begin with, so what do I know?
Psi Baka Onna
I think the problem with this is how Ruth broke up. Saying “BTW we’re breaking up” as you’re leaving a room comes off as more of a joke than a legitamate break. Especially as the two have been all lovey dovey with eachother all afternoon. The mature thing is to discuss your grievances but *gestures to name of comic*…
Axel
I literally don’t understand (@Sirksome, since this will be buried a bit). You’re saying the person who initiated a relationship can’t be the one to end it? If anything isn’t it good that Ruth realized it was fucked and pulled out?
if this is the first time Ruth has really tried to “enforce” the breakup then yeah she’s not doing the best by just mumbling it and disappearing but that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t get to end it.
Sirksome
I didn’t articulate it well. My problem isn’t that Ruth is ending the relationship, my problem is that she’s not ending it properly which is only causing more grief in the process. It makes it worse since she is the one who initiated the romance only to end it in the worst possible way. That’s not fair to Jennifer. That’s my point. Their relationship history has taught Jennifer that this isn’t real, she’s even saying as much. Ruth is responsible to actually breakup with Jennifer in a way she understands. Not say a few words in passing, knowing it’s not going to stick and taking measures to avoid the problem while she passes the buck to Dorothy to actually explain things. It’s very confusing to me that Ruth is not perceived to be in the wrong her when by her own admission she’s stated she’s doing this in the worst way possible.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2022/comic/book-12/05-this-was-halloween/concerns/
But like I said I didn’t articulate this well and unfortunately caused a lot of confusion and frustration here. My bad. Sorry.
Axel
thank you for clarifying! this is why I headed with ‘I don’t understand,’ because it seemed like it couldn’t be that you thought that exactly as written
MisterJinKC
I would say Ruth set boundaries by locking the door to her private room. If it were a hetero relationship and a guy picked the lock to his (ex)girlfriend’s room the night she broke up with him we’d be calling him a stalker or abuser instead of saying she didn’t set boundaries. It’s toxic on both ends, but Ruth has clearly been attempting to change but Billie won’t let her.
thejeff
Part of their deal from the very start was that Billie wasn’t going to let Ruth push her away, because that would leave Ruth free to go back to killing herself.
I agree that under normal circumstances viewed without any context, breaking into your partner’s room after a fight would be a huge bad sign, but it’s part of the deal here. Which is a problem in itself, but not a different one than it seems at first glance.
If Ruth wants to break up, she’s going to have to address that. Or, I suppose, piss off Billie enough that she doesn’t want to come back.
Nova
Someone who breaks into your room and ignores your boundaries isn’t worthy of respect. And, again, since this apparently “happens all the time” I’m not sure how many times you believe someone should have to ask to leave a relationship before they’re taken seriously (the only correct answer should be The First Time) but I’ll wager our answers differ.
It doesn’t matter what they were doing a moment ago. Ruth said “No” and that should be respected??? Shocking to have to say that in this day and age.
From another of your replies to Taffy –
“My thing is she chose to get into this relationship, she started it more than Billie did. It’s messed up to break something off so abruptly that you initiated.”
Anyone. Can break up with anyone. For any reason. This mentality is what keeps people with their abusers. You don’t need a reason to break up, you don’t need to be nice about it, particularly if you don’t think the other person will respect you wanting to break up.
If I knew someone was going to break into my room and sneak into my bed when I broke up with them, I absolutely would not worry about how polite I was going to be in the break up. In fact, I might specifically do it in a way that upset them so they’d be LESS likely to boundary stomp.
Whoever started the relationship, however recently they were kissing/fucking/whatever, no one is required to stay with anyone or couch their break up in sweet terms. If Ruth doesn’t want to be in the relationship (regardless of why) she doesn’t have to be. And Billie acting like Ruth doesn’t get to decide that absolutely validates some abruptness on Ruth’s part.
Sirksome
This gives Ruth way too much credit. As if Jennifer is somehow the threat. This was a two-way relationship of mutual toxicity. It’s not about Ruth breaking things off with Jennifer, she has that right, it’s that she never set these boundaries in the first place. Ruth’s the one who taught Jennifer to pick locks. She’s the one who went on a bender during one of their splits because despite alcohol conflicting with her meds she wanted to be with Jennifer more. Hell Ruth practically assaulted Jennifer to initiate their romance.
This isn’t Jennifer not respecting Ruth’s boundaries or stalking her. This is a failure on both of them to actually establish what their relationship even was and Ruth quitting it without even explaining why. Jennifer thinks this is business as usual. She doesn’t know it’s a real break up. Ruth does have a responsibility to explain this is different. Not setup Dorothy to do it for her while she works on anti-Billifying her room. This isn’t Ruth escaping Jennifer, this is Ruth trying to avoid an unpleasant situation she in part created for herself.
Or she can do what she’s doing now. Which is probably why they’re so toxic post time skip. It’s her choice. Not everyone is an angel, especially in something as complicated as romance. Ruth doesn’t get any points from me for this though.
-
Totally agreed with all of this; there’s really no legitimate argument to be had as far as I can see.
Nova
Breaking into someone’s room after they break up with you is absolutely stalking and boundary stomping.
Setting a boundary is allowed at any point in the relationship, not just beforehand. Feeling as if you have to break a door to stop someone from just ignoring your latest attempt to break up with them suggests some pretty severe dislike for something you seem to think was mutually encouraged.
You and I clearly disagree about this in a way that isn’t resolvable, and I just don’t have the energy to keep talking with someone who believes that someone doesn’t deserve to have a break up respected just because they weren’t nice about it. Just YIKES.
Sirksome
I admit I’ve articulated this poorly and if you’ve become frustrated and want to exit the discussion then fair enough. I just want to clarify my position because I feel there is a miscommunication here. My apologies.
That being that I don’t actually agree with Jennifer’s methods. Ruth has the right to her agency in this situation, my problem is her method of break up robs Jennifer of hers. She’s made this decision without Jennifer’s input and can’t even truly tell her to her face. Jennifer and Ruth were partners, that implies a mutual level of respect deserved on both sides, especially since Ruth essentially trained Jennifer to react this way to a breakup.
There both not handling this very well, my initial statement was just that I don’t respect how Ruth is doing this. She’s avoiding the inevitable confrontation of this breakup. That’s what I don’t agree with. They both deserve the respect of the time invested in each other, but Ruth has chosen not to treat Jennifer with any which is why Jennifer isn’t respecting Ruth trying to initiate the breakup in the first place.
It’s not about being nice. It’s about actually breaking up with Jennifer in a way she understands. Not doing so actually hurts them both. It’s confusing for me that Jennifer is expected to know this is a legitimate end when Ruth hasn’t explained it to her. To me Ruth is actively working against herself and making the situation worse.
I still feel like I haven’t articulated this well. My apologies again, maybe our differences on this truly are unresolvable, but I don’t believe so. Either way I’ll leave it be. I don’t like causing conflict in the comments, I just like the discussion and hope to have a better one next strip.
Pimellon
I agree with most of your reasoning, but I disagree with your conclusions. In particular, “It’s messed up to break something off so abruptly that you initiated” is going way too far, to me. Anyone can break up or withdraw consent at any time, even if they are the one initiating it, without owing anyone an explanation.
Would it be better and healthier in this case to tell Jennifer the situation plainly? Definitely. But I don’t think Ruth has, at any moment, forfeited her right to just walk away, particularly if she thinks the situation is unhealthy for her in the long run. (Even if she might be wrong about that, tbh I really can’t tell if this is just her running away from happiness or not; the relationship did legitimately start on very bad terms.)
And regardless of how right or wrong Ruth’s handling of the situation is, Jennifer’s reaction in today’s strip is preeeetty yikes to me. You’re right that Ruth has trained her not to take breakup talks as actual breakups, and to break into her room, but this sort of talk should still not be normal. Even given their past, in a healthy relationship (which they allegedly are now) this should still be cause for concern, and there should be a desire to get to the root of what is happening. Jennifer just thinks this is fine. I’m not even sure if Ruth could make her take it seriously without outside help.
anon
some were probably genuine but i can imagine some would be in the heat of the moment or as part of their unhealthy foreplay lol
Bryy
Something must have changed, as post-skip Ruth is MUCH more humbled.
Needfuldoer
The eventual fight must be one hell of an explosion, and this is just the primer charge.
anon
well she does mention being on new medication, and though some things are repressed deep down b/c she did end up shoving her again in the present
-
To be honest, she’s the one in the “wrong” here (as far as “right” and “wrong” go in the context of the Billie/ Ruth situation), pulling a drive-by dump/ leave it to Dorothy to clean up move. Anyone with even a modicum of self-awareness would be critical of their actions ex post facto, one would hope. That said, as many like to say, we have to bear in mind the strip title, etc etc.
Jamie
Uh.
EpochFlame
…would that even lock the door?
Switchchris24
Depends on how broken it is, with her hitting it from above she could have broken it in a way that bends the metal of the lock and stops the door from opening without something like a crowbar.
Needfuldoer
It’s another service call Puddinhead needs to make to Facilities, anyway.
(We know the door gets fixed because otherwise she couldn’t cuff Jason to it in January.)
egg egg
this is only Step 1 of Locking the Door, if the alt-text is anything to go by
hopefully we get a strip or two of Ruth shenanigans
Joe Moose
“Happens all the time?” [thinking emoji]
Jonah Sanville
this sure will be…..something™
The Wellerman
I’ll go get some popcorn. And Kool Aid. And Mac and Cheese. And blast shields. Not in order of priority.
milu
And airhorns!
Reltzik
…. so Puddinghead’s going to be fixing Ruth’s door YET AGAIN.
Really, Ruth, a deadbolt would be easier AND more effective.
Doctor_Who
I forgot about the Resident Manager and her interesting hair choices, and googled Puddinghead to try to figure this comment out, and it’s all My Little Pony art which just made me even more confused.
BarerMender
“Puddinghead,” or more commonly, “Puddin’head” is old slang for someone who’s extra dumb.
Doctor_Who
So me in this moment.
-
Come now, a Gallifreyan need not be so self-deprecating!
Needfuldoer
If we see her again post-skip, will she finish letting her hair grow back out, touch up her roots, or deliberately keep it the way it was?
StClair
Ruth is determined to sabotage this relationship.
(Because it makes her happy, and she’s not allowed to be that; and because it’ll end, everything good ends, so let’s do that now and get back to bad, which is the rightful order of things.)
TrueVCU
I mean, she said before she’s trying to protect Billie from her (Ruth’s) own self destructive tendencies. Which, understandable, but also, she desperately needs therapy.
Unfortunately, the strip is set in the United States.
The Oracle
I sometimes wonder, as often as people specifically call out American therapy accessibility, in other countries, where they have better access, is it actually used properly?
Taffy
Maybe keep the nationalist undertones to yourself?
The Oracle
I- Hmm? Wanna run that by me again, stranger?
-
Just ignore this whacko, he’s always doing this. Best disregarded. You said nothing remotely worthy of criticism.
The Oracle
What the hell happened while I was asleep? This wasn’t even that big of a deal, if I’m being honest, like I thought Taffy was trying to crack a joke that just didn’t land? Calling him (them?) A “whacko” is a little out of line, I mean do we need to use terms implying somebody is crazy, in a stigmatizing manner? You also called them (him?) A “fruit loop” which, again, comes across as calling the person insane, and I think also seems queerphobic to me? I just don’t think the name calling is needed, so can we please not no that anymore, even if it’s in a nother person’s defense?
And speaking of defense, I didn’t really ask for it. If I thought Taffy was an actual problem, I’d have spoken up for myself, because this isn’t even the first time they’ve (he’s?) “”come at me”, so to speak. Which I still don’t appreciate, but I thought maybe we were just on different wavelengths.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to make this a novella, it just sits weird with me how things went here.
Matthew Davis
Sheesh — are you just looking to frame every comment in the most negative possible light? The dictionary definition of Nationalism is “identification with one’s own nation and support for its interests, especially to the exclusion or detriment of the interests of other nations.” I really don’t see The Oracle’s comment doing either, do you?
Taffy
“Every comment” nothin’. There’s just something about that one that runs me the wrong way. Maybe I misidentified it, but that’s hardly following a trend, especially tonight when I’ve been trying to be very even-tempered and fair.
Fay
“especially tonight when I’ve been trying to be very even-tempered and fair”
You realize it’s not specifically your job to respond to comments? They’re not directed at you. Your own mood doesn’t dictate how other people choose to comment.
-
This guy always seems to respond weirdly, misread tone, and act strangely aggressively in the comments here… is there any known reason for that? Just keep seeing him weirding shit up for no reason.
egg egg
this entire comment thread is hilarious because they both act aggressively towards other commentors in a similar enough manner that for a while i thought they were the same person. apparently they’re different people! just similar enough that they piss each other off