408

Broken
Posted on February 7, 2014 by David M Willis

408 thoughts on “Broken”

  1. Jen Aside

    Did Jesus punch his dad in the face, too??

    1. Jen Aside

      sorry—His dad

      1. Yotomoe

        If he did it’d be basically like punching himself in the face.

        1. Just Cheeto Dust

          I guess his arms aren’t too short to box with God.

        2. DailyBrad

          I love you for that reference.

        3. Aeonitus

          Please come back, Punk 🙁

        4. Wonder Wig

          Jesus went back in time and became his own dad. This answers everything.

        5. Just Cheeto Dust

          Just one degree off from what Fry would’ve done.

        6. JA

          So in a way, Fry is like God?

        7. Just Cheeto Dust

          And I’ve seen someone punch himself in the face. On TV. For millions to see. And even more to see since it’s been immortalized online.

        8. Null Set

          Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!

        9. Phil

          WAAAAIT So Amazi-Girl wasn’t Sal? Wowowow, that makes no sense.

          Ruins the story for me.

        10. Mustachio

          I LOL’d.

        11. Sir Robin

          I don’t think we have seen the whole flashback, I think Amber killed Sal with the knife, and has been wearing her skin for years

        12. Jack Faire

          I believe that is in the scripture in book, ‘i am kicking my own ass do you mind”

      2. Rani

        To be perfectly honest, his dad didn’t give him much warning before nailing him to a God damned tree.

        1. Rani

          Actually, yeah, Jesus nailed his dad to a God damned tree. Amber is actually better than Jesus.

        2. Kiggy

          Now, for some reason, I have The Ballad of John and Yoko stufk in my head….

        3. Kiggy

          Stufk = stuffed + stuck :p

        4. ocbrad1

          Adding this to the autocorrect list on the phone…

        5. Foxhack

          I thought he told him he’d die for our sins?

          … he told himself he’d die for our sins?

          Gah, that never made sense to me.

        6. Nee Hou

          Foxhack: “Gah, that never made sense to me.”

          Think of it like the particle/wave duality of light.
          Despite being diametrically different, it’s both.

        7. anonymous

          1. That has never made sense to ME.
          2. NOOOO

        8. Nee Hou

          “That has never made sense to ME.”

          I doubt anyone really does,
          and yet is accepted scientific fact.
          Go figure.

        9. Brolo

          Read Kirkegaard on rationality, its not supposed to make sense.

      3. cesium133

        Should that be “His Dad”?

        1. Rani

          People who capitalize their pronouns are probably dirty communists.

        2. lejwocky

          I hear they also write the letter ‘N’ backwards

        3. Spack

          And they pronounce it like it was “i” while pronouncing “H”s like
          “n”. Anr those backward “R”s! Yaaaaaaaa!

        4. Fred

          And “P” like “R”, “Table” like “P”, “Table with a tail” like “L” and “Right-slanting A” like “D”. And all the different squiggles for “SH”.

        5. anonymous

          augh the Russian alphabet is too Cyrillic for me

        6. Kintrex

          The blocky little w isn’t really a squiggle.

        7. Brady

          And they spell “Yoo” with a Federation starship.

        8. Dhraakellian

          As opposed to the godless commies who don’t?

          …although they do tend to have fairly strong opinions about Capital.

        9. trlkly

          Old comment, but for those who binge later:

          The convention is to use lowercase while for Jesus (and uppercase for the Father) before he was resurrected. I think it comes from how some Bible did it.

      4. Kianna

        Actually, Danny was referring to the table flip thing. Jesus did that once in the bible.

        1. mister gray

          exactly! He did it in the market place cuz they were having a market in the temple which was pretty bad back then and probably would be now.

    2. Sageress

      “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD! YOU’RE JUST SOME GUY NAMED JOE.”

      1. Jen Aside

        Is that what [a certain non-DoA character] said?

        1. Roborat

          So . . . that’s what she said?

    3. DragonStryk72

      Well, slight difference being that Jesus’s dad wasn’t an abusive fuckwad

      1. Arkadi

        There’s a flamewar there waiting to be ignited; but I won’t be the one to do it XD

      2. Roborat

        Have you read the Bible?

        1. Arkadi

          Roborat did it for me! XDXD

        2. NaughtbutaHoax

          If I recall correctly, the Bible pretty much boils down to “do what I say or I’ll knock the shit out of you” up until Jesus gets ganked, he uses console commands to res himself, then quits the server three days later. After that, it’s a more mild “do what I say or you’ll regret it later”.

          Both seem pretty abusive, context notwithstanding.

        3. NaughtbutaHoax

          Wait. Shit. Got my analogy wrong. He doesn’t quit the server, he gets promoted to OP and stops playing.

        4. das-g

          Not completely, but it doesn’t seem to say much about that Joseph guy. As far as I can tell, he seems quite alright.

    4. Aisling

      Jesus had two dad’s, joseph and god… which one you talking about? lol

  2. NCP19

    Heh, well played, Danny. I’d argue Amber also had some righteous anger against Blaine.

    1. David Herbert

      Well she did have a right to be angry about Ethan, don’t know about table flipping levels though. Still, punching Blaine is something many of us will forgive, I think.

      1. slicedtoad

        *condone

      2. Ghola

        Having the first love of your life, a guy you stabbed a girl in the hand for, come out as gay, has to be pretty shattering to Amber. Then, after supporting him for at least a year, he falls off the gay wagon and wants to have a “relationship” with Joyce. It’s sort of a slap in the face I would think.
        “Oh you can pretend to be straight for HER, but not for ME?” and so on.

        1. mister gray

          yea but ethan thinks joyce is ok with this and on the surface she is but underneath…….yea she so wants to bang him.

        2. Roborat

          No, apparently she just wants to rub his tummy.

        3. Robin

          It’s been less than two months.

  3. KingMabel

    Oh Danny, so naive

  4. Yotomoe

    YES DANNY, I’VE NOTICED.

    1. NCP19

      The fourth wall is broken by Danny’s self-awareness.

    2. NerdHerder

      WE’VE ALL NOTICED

      1. Raoullefere

        I’ve noticed all of you noticing. Although I’m not so sure I’ve noticed what you’ve noticed, the fact that you’ve noticed is quite well noted now.

        1. TheSuicidalGiraffe

          Duly noted

        2. Notery

          Don’t you mean duly noticed?

        3. anonymous

          Raoul said “noted” towards the end, so I think we might as well count it.

        4. xKiv

          This subthread is kinda one-note.

        5. Volkai

          Duly noticed.

        6. ninja_jesus

          And has been reported to the authorities.

    3. Bill

      Image

  5. Nym

    This is kind of sad and kind of adorable.

    1. Vibbles

      I knoooow ;-; I’m sad because, after years of not really feelin’ this ship and thinking Amber would be better off with someone wittier and more self-aware, I’m starting to have feels.

      Which is making me vulnerable to the eventual inevitable hurt that Willis will wreak upon this ship. It is pointed for a reef and its creator is not a kind God.

      1. mister gray

        Noted, vibbles.

  6. David Herbert

    He’s now wondering if she hangs out with prostitutes.

    1. Cheese

      Well if Mike charges your mom a nickle then technically…

      1. Sageress

        Mike pays the moms, actually.

    2. Ancestral Hamster

      Frank Miller is that way. ==>

  7. shadowcell

    yeah, my favorite part of the Bible was when Jesus beat the shit out of God

    it was great because a few hundred years later Satan could come around go all “WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF, WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF, WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF LOLOLOL”

    1. David

      Uh, that was Jacob. Genesis 32:24-30.

      1. shadowcell

        i know

  8. Doctor_Who

    “Although cursing that fig tree was out of line, Amber. What did those poor figs ever do to you?”

    1. Sageress

      “And don’t even get me started on the plagues.”

      1. Bill

        But the Pharoah had it coming.  Sort of like Blaine.

        1. E.R.

          Actually, the pharaoh is probably closer to Amber in that analogy. Moses might be her mother.

    2. Historyman68

      The figs know what they did.

  9. John

    Oo, back at the bridge.

    1. hof1991

      Back at the bridge where he rejected her for being broken, but he now accepts her in her brokenness. Nice story structure. Very Biblical in its parallelism.

      1. AgentKeen

        Very Biblical, Much Testament.

    2. Hats

      Yerp. Willis structures things really well. It’s fun to go back through and pick up on all the cues and foreshadowing in his work.

  10. WaveRocker

    I gotta say

  11. Shade

    Amazi-Girl has come not to bring the peace but the fist.

    1. Ahighfunctioningsociopath

      Kung-fu action Jesus

    2. Evil Midnight Lurker

      And her peace…

      …and her peace…

      Was the peace…

      …was the peace…

      Of the femur removal.

      1. Rex Hondo

        Applause for Wheel of Time reference.

  12. LiamAldam

    This is probably one of my favorite punchlines to date. Good job!

    1. saltchocolate

      Truly! Perhaps it’s only fitting that Danny is the one who gets this great line…

    2. das-g

      The punchline is mightier than the punch.

  13. Tom Speelman

    Most adorably sad Amber ever?

    1. KingMabel

      Or saddest adorable Amber ever?

      1. Ghostforge

        She looks adorable because without her glasses or mask, her face looks like a rounder version of Riley’s.

  14. Sammie1053

    He can indeed learn, folks.
    The past couple strips with Danny in them have shown some actually-decent decisions and redeeming qualities. E.g. recognizing his own faults!

    1. WaveRocker

      wellllll… he hasn’t really learned anything; we’ve just now been exposed to qualities of his that weren’t previously shown.

      1. DailyBrad

        True, but it makes sense. Amber likes him for a reason. It is good we are getting to see more of why.

      2. begbert2

        Actually we’ve already seen these exact qualities – loyalty, understanding, decision-making, and compassion. Problem is, the most prominent example of them was in the scene when he thought Amber was trying to muscle in between him and his girlfriend. Oddly enough, people had a hard time giving him credit for his noble decision there.

        1. DailyBrad

          This is true. He was being a good boyfriend, and by not wanting to lead on Amber, a good friend. It just played out in a weird way because of Amber’s dishonesty, as understandable as it was. Hopefully, the air will be a whole lot clearer now.

        2. Dude

          Although if Amber wasn’t Amazigirl, him saying that he’s dating a superhero would seem incredibly unbelievable. Also, how you gonna date someone who won’t even tell you their name?

        3. begbert2

          His claims of dating a superhero are made significantly more plausible by the independent verification of that superhero’s existence and presence around the campus. Plus Amber never challenged his claim of dating Amazi-girl (for some reason), and thus the subject never came up.

          And as for how to date somebody without knowing their name, click the ‘previous comic’ button a bunch of times and you can see an example of it in this very comic! (Admittedly you’ll be seeing it in reverse, but some sacrifices must be made for convenience.)

  15. MM

    Dammit, Danny, stop sounding like Joyce. You’re confusing me. Who’s the protagonist? What year is it?

    1. Sageress

      In order…
      1) Riley’s Eyebrows.
      2) 2004

      1. MM

        Ah, okay, that makes sen…wait, that means I’m back in college. Crap.

        1. Throng

          It’s 2004 again? Sweet, I’ve got some notes to send and investments to make.

  16. WaveRocker

    Willis, I gotta commend you for Amazi-Girl’s backstory. Most comics that have superheroes / vigilantes in them would just make it something simple and cliché, like having their parents killed by robbers etc.

    1. Batman

      One man’s cliché is another man’s tragic backstory.

      It’s only cliché if it doesn’t happen to you.

      1. Sambo

        That comment could not be more amazing :’)

      2. Matthew Davis

        Am I the only one who read that in the _intense_ Kevin Conroy voice, rather than the default Batman Kevin Conroy voice?

  17. Kschenke

    Oh my gosh, that was a really sweet and also kind of logical point. You know … that everyone gets ragey at bullshit sometimes.

  18. John Madden

    I laughed at the last line and didn’t feel bad.

  19. Flimsy

    Oh Danny…

  20. TacosForever

    That was a fairly obscure bible reference, Willis! At least from my point of view.

    Also, I really hope this conversation ends well. And that Danny gets Amber the hell inside and out of the Amazi-Girl suit. (…Not naked, guys. Just out of the Amazi-Girl suit.)

    1. TacosForever

      It’s funny because my avatar is Mary. If I were really Mary, I would know ALL the Bible references.

      1. Lou

        No, just the ones that support your ideals. You’d ignore the rest.

      2. Pat

        People like Mary tend not to be very good at Bible references. They know a bunch of obscure names, though, so that’s something.

    2. Sageress

      And into a Ninja Turtle Costume right. I’m onto you.

      1. WaveRocker

        Turtle Time!

      2. Just Cheeto Dust

        For some kind of furry thing? (Danny Performs a yiff?)

        No thanks.

      3. TacosForever

        …yessssss best idea everrrrr

        1. TacosForever

          The Ninja Turtle costume, I mean. No furries.

        2. Bill

          No furries = species-ism

    3. Packy

      Jesus’ rage-fit where he threw the moneychangers out of the temple is obscure?

      Maybe for non-Christians.

      1. Jen Aside

        Or folks who haven’t read Shortpacked!…

        1. MandibleBones

          Or Transmetropolitan, for that matter.

        2. Doctor_Who

          That scene was hilarawesome.

      2. Bill

        True.  And then, if you want to dissect just the New Testament, there were the times when Jesus was disobedient to Mary/Joseph by remaining in the Temple (“I must be about my Father’s work”); argued with God (the prayers in the Garden of Gethsemane where he asked that he not be forced to drink the cup; i.e., die on the cross); and voiced despair of God (“My God, why have you forsaken me?”).  Getting pissed off and tossing a couple of tables is small potatoes in comparison.

        1. someguywithakatana

          Okay. Real quick. In the first one, he wasn’t being disobedient. He was 12. And they left him in Jerusalem… For like… a crap ton of time. He didn’t stay on purpose. And that line was mostly him just being sassy. Like “Why were you looking for me? Didn’t you know I’d be in my Father’s house?”

          In the second. He’s not arguing with God. He says that He doesn’t want to die, but He immediately follows that with “But not my Will, but yours be done.”

          And in the third… yeah, he’s despairing. I mean. He’s dying… but you are correct.

      3. TacosForever

        I remembered the story about the temple, but not specifically that he flipped their tables. I’m just saying, I would have had to be regularly looking at Bible stories to remember that detail. Which I don’t. I remember them from my childhood, but I’m not exactly a practicing Christian these days.

        1. begbert2

          You have a point – I mostly remember the part where he went crazy and started whipping people. With a whip that he took the time to make himself, so it wasn’t a momentary outburst; this was premeditated crazy assault. It’s no wonder he was arrested shortly thereafter.

        2. Bill

          Ahem — according to the story as I recall it, He fashioned a scourge (whip) from the cords of His robe, the modern equivalent of which would be a man pulling his belt out of his pants and using that to wallop on people.  Use of equipment at hand is not necessarily premeditation.

        3. begbert2

          The verse doesn’t mention his robe, and says (depending on the translation) ropes, cords, or small cords that he made into a whip or scourge. Given that a scourge is basically a cat-o-nine-tails, it becomes hard to imagine how he assembled this out of his apparel, and it’s certain that he took a few moments in the assembly of the thing, at the very least to firmly tie all the ropes together at the base to make a proper whippin’ tool, rather than just using a single belt or whatever that would fail to cause proper pain.

          The modern equivalent would be pulling your belt out of your pants, grabbing a handful of ropes, and tying the end of each one of them to the buckle. And then going batshit insane with it on people!

        4. David Willis

          The “cords” referred to the tallits which Jewish folks had at the corners of their robes for religious reasons. They could look like this: http://www.religionfacts.com/judaism/images/objects/tallit-lesson.jpg

          He probably didn’t have to assemble anything.

        5. Historyman68

          It may not be clear from the picture linked there, but all the tallit I have ever experienced are extremely soft, and would not hurt anyone whipped by them unless it got you right in the eye.

        6. begbert2

          And knowing is half the battle!(TM)

          Given this information, I concede that his sudden attack of crazy-pants assault could easily have been a spontaneous fit of rage rather than a sit-down-and-giggle-while-assembling-a-weapon fit of slow-burn anger. (It’s still quite plausible that the Romans would be looking for him for this event alone, though.)

        7. davidbreslin101

          @Historyman68: interesting, so Jesus probably didn’t intend to do much damage with the whipping.

        8. Bill

          As you know, the Bible has been translated, re-translated, and put into more contemporary terms countless times throughout history.  Since my Catholic school days were back during the Kennedy/Johnson era it might be that I am channeling an earlier translation that mentioned the cords came from Christ’s clothing; it could also have been something that was set forth as a further explanation in religion classes by the nuns/priests that made up the school’s faculty.  No big deal.

      4. Felgraf

        I dunno, given the fact that the prosperity gospel is *EVEN A THING THAT EXISTS*, I’d argue that a chunk of Christians would find that part of the bible obscure, too.
        And the parts about not being able to serve god and money.
        And the bit about the rain falling on the good and the wicked, and the sun shining on the just and the unjust.
        And Job.
        And… actually pretty much every part of the bible that goes “Hay. Hay. U NO GET EARTHLY REWARDS FOR BEING GOOD PERSON. STOP CLAIMING BEING RICH MEANS U GOOD PERSON.”
        /Sorry, got off on a tangent there.
        //Pretty sure I don’t even count as Christian these days (more of a Pratchetterian. Pratchettite? Whatever.), but good lord does the Prosperity gospel make me froth with anger.

        1. Pat

          Those people really like the Bible as long as it’s just for decoration and you never open it.

          All of the content is “obscure”.

        2. hof1991

          Gotta be careful when the Bible is “clear”. It clearly is pro-slavery, treats women as property, etc. It tends to clearly tell you to do what you want to do.

        3. hof1991

          Dammit. Messed up the link. http://rachelheldevans.com/blog/bible-clear

        4. Dave

          There is a big difference between being “pro-slavery” and advising how slaves, once they become Christians, should treat their masters/service. Not to mention the slavery of the times was completely different than the slavery we know.

          If the precepts of the NT were followed in regards to the treatment of women/rights of women in the society in which it was written, it elevated women from oppression into a higher level of respect, freedom, and equality — for the contemporary society of the time.

          You can take or leave these comments; no worries. Just correcting interesting and ongoing misapprehensions. I don’t have a dog to fight with.

          Abraham Lincoln once said “don’t believe everything you read on the internet”.

        5. David Willis

          “Slavery was nicer in the Bible” is one of those self-serving lies that become a necessity in order to make the Bible not be completely abominable to modern sensibilities.

          Slavery is awful, period. There’s no “good slavery” or “bad slavery.” Don’t be gross.

        6. Eolirin

          I think the argument is more that you can’t apply modern sensibilities to a document that’s thousands of years old. Taken in the context of the time that it existed, a lot of the slavery stuff was progressive relative to the established baseline. That doesn’t mean there’s good slavery, but that it can be recognized as having a positive context it the long history of a terrible practice.

        7. Nadath

          There were all sorts of different slavery in ancient times: Rome, you were literally described as a tool and couldn’t be regarded as human. Near-eastern and middle-eastern slaves could have a secondary job and earn a living to buy themselves out of slavery and many times you sold yourself into slavery for a set time. The Bible doesn’t say slavery is good, it acknowledges that it exists and says to treat slaves and foreigners like human beings, to take care of the poor etc.

          I can’t remember off the top of my head, but after about 7 years a slave was to be freed and then there is the whole 49 year return of lands. The Bible was incredibly progressive, to the point that Israel couldn’t actually follow it.

        8. Salmo

          “I can’t remember off the top of my head, but after about 7 years a slave was to be freed”

          Only for Hebrews, only for males, and if they wanted to stay with the women you married them off to and the children you bred from them (and you got to keep the kids, even if they were male), they had to forego their freedom forever.

        9. Kelly

          The turtle moves!

        10. Felgraf

          The turtle moves!
          (Plus, he’s given the best definition of Sin/evil I have ever seen. “And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That’s what sin is.”)

      5. StClair

        I’ve long harbored a fantasy of him showing up and doing that to all the hucksters selling cheap “WWJD” merch in his name. That’s what Jesus would do, you [deleted]s.

      6. Laseema

        I don’t know, I’m an atheist and even I know that story.

      7. Vree

        It’s a fairly famous scene. TacosForever underestimates us.

    4. Blueberry

      Three words: Jesus Christ Superstar.

      1. The Phantom's Belch

        Two more words: Hamlet 2

        “If my Dad finds out what I’ve been up to, he’s gonna crucify me.”

    5. Kelly

      How is that obscure? I was raised an atheist and I have known about for like, forever. And not because of SP!. I think I knew about it in high school (which was more like early Roomies era, though I didn’t know about it then, sadly).

      1. TacosForever

        See my comment above–I remembered the general story, but not the detail about him flipping tables. But clearly I was wrong since everyone else remembers that detail 🙂

        1. anonymous

          Nope, nope, pretty sure those who don’t constantly associate with Bible-thumpers won’t have heard that detail of the story.
          Then again, I’m not sure I’ve even heard that part of the story… so maybe it’s just atheistic/agnostic ignorance on my part? (I’m like 98% atheist but I like to keep a little room for doubt on the off-chance there’s a Purgatory.)

        2. Eolirin

          A lot of atheists are more informed about what’s actually in the bible than many Christians, so I think that’s nonsense.

    6. Julez

      Is it really that obscure of a reference? I’ve seen it all over the place, usually in response to people using the church to get rich (or paying to get the church to do what they want)

      Just sayin.

  21. Kernanator

    Danny, why are you trying to be likeable. It’s making me feel weird.

    STOP IT. STOP IT THIS INSTANT.

    1. WaveRocker

      WHERE’S YOUR God ARGUMENT NOW!!??

    2. Yotomoe

      Next thing we know Blaine is gonna try to redeem himself.

      1. WaveRocker

        Little far there, bro

        1. Doctor_Who

          Maybe Amber beat him so hard he got a concussion and wakes up thinking he’s someone else, like Fred Flintstone.

          By which I mean, that happened to Fred Flintstone a lot. Not that he’ll wake up thinking he’s Fred Flintstone.

          Though if he did, it would still be a vast improvement.

        2. WaveRocker

          I cannot disagree this

        3. Yotomoe

          Can this please happen?

        4. Brolo

          Third

        5. Oliver

          then he’d just be a yaba daba douche

        6. The Phantom's Belch

          +1010 Binary Internets!

  22. Packy

    Damn you, Willis! Stop making me care more about Amber than Joyce!

    1. begbert2

      It’s easy not to care about Joyce, because the last bad thing that happened to her that wasn’t self-inflicted was weeks ago, and she barely remembers it. Everything since has been a hole she’s been industriously digging herself.

      1. NightmareWarden

        She had nightmares about that event. Even with the drug doing the funky chicken on her memory, I think she’d recall what happened.

  23. Claire

    The fateful bridge, the seem of Danny’s…dumping of Amber? He chose Amazi-girl over Amber before, now the story has come full circle.

    1. Kevin

      …um… you do realize that telling Amber he’s already in a committed relationship isn’t “dumping” Amber, right?

      1. John

        This wasn’t just “telling Amber he’s already in a committed relationship”.

  24. Lou

    Jesus rage-flipped a table? I so need a nice painting of that! Waitaminute! THAT’S WHY everyone at the last supper sat on the same side as Jesus! In case he flipped it! Mystery, solved!

    1. Totz the Plaid

      The money changers in the temple.

      I’ve never been Christian and that was still a no-brainer for me.

    2. saltchocolate

      LOL

    3. Packy

      here it is!

      1. Lou

        NICE! Onward, to staples!

      2. Leorale

        Plus, you can tell it’s Jesus ’cause he’s got a blue sash.

      3. Bill

        Next time someone asks you “What Would Jesus Do?”, remind them that flipping a table and chasing someone with a whip is within the realm of possibility.

      4. Alex

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/neighbor-2/

        The title text of this panel also references the table flipping when you hover your cursor over it.

    4. Bill

      No, it was Da Vinci’s idea.
      “Everybody who wants to be in the group portair, get over there next to Jesus!”

  25. Just Cheeto Dust

    Now I’m picturing Jesus in a superhero costume with a (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ on his chest instead of an “S.”

    1. Just Cheeto Dust

      …and I forgot about the short word wrap.

      1. anonymous

        He threw that table SO HARD it went all the way around the world and landed behind him.

      2. anonymous

        (SO HARD is capitalized in case anyone wants to do some dirty jokes about Jesus Christ.)

  26. Locke

    “See, Amber, I was born with this rare condition… I… I don’t have a brain. They call it ‘Scarecrow Syndrome.’ There is no cure.”

    1. Dean

      “Well, there is, but I need a lion, a tin man and a chick with a dog.”

      1. CrazyOne

        don’t forget some witches and the wizard…

        1. Vree

          Actually it was bran, pins and needles.
          If we want to be accurate.

        2. hexalm

          But he had it all along!

      2. Narf

        Does it have to be Judy Garland, or will any woman with a dog do?

  27. Synnerman

    Woah, I… felt a liking feeling for Danny.

    1. Red Robot

      Well, he just managed to get the thousand yard stare out of Amber’s face. In my book, that should be enough for us to suspend all our Danny-hate for a while.

  28. ASD

    Amber is way too adorable in panel 5

  29. Milosh

    Is that, like… reverse Godwin’s Law?

  30. Ridureyu

    And so, Danny refuses to respect her wishes, and instead forces himself on her.

    1. Saru

      Oh noes, she’ll be scarred for life that the boy she likes is intent on reciprocating the feeling!

    2. Bilfred

      No, he’s trying to make her feel better. That’s #1 on the list of what friends should do for friends. He’s not doing a bad job, either.

    3. Red Robot

      Amber has not said a word about her wishes!

    4. begbert2

      I commend you on your continuing dedication to the cause of inventing slanderous fantasies about Danny, despite his continuously escalating proving of his awesomeness.

    5. Jackson

      When did Amber tell Danny to go away? Or to stop talking to her? Or to stop being so caring and sympathetic and nonjudgmental?

    6. Rex Hondo

      I think I just hurt my neck from rolling my eyes so hard…

    7. Absolom

      Guys, gals, I think ridereyu is right. Danny should definitely tell Amazi-Amber “you know, I respect your wishes to continue to talk to me about yourself, and not hide behind the Amazi-Girl mask with me, and let me talk to you. But I’m actually gay, and I can’t keep pretending, because you wouldn’t be happy that way. We should break up so you can be with someone who is into girls.” That is the only way Ethan can put Amazi-Amber’s needs where they should be, instead of forcing himself on her.

      1. Clif

        Your image makes it funnier, but somehow I can’t help wondering if your last Ethan should be a Danny.

        1. Absolom

          Hah! You know, it must have just slipped my tongue *wink wink*.

  31. Dimonite

    Amber, there’s no such thing as good people. There are only people who desperately want to be good, and people who don’t.

    1. Bilfred

      What about Jeebus?

      1. Dimonite

        This is why I used the present tense. 😛

        1. Bilfred

          Jeebus is alive in our hearts an’ minds. or something like that.

        2. Dimonite

          Yeah, but not in a way such that he’d really count as “people” anymore. And anyhow, your specific example doesn’t necessarily invalidate my general case.

        3. Bilfred

          My first thought: this

        4. Bilfred

          broken link. http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2675

        5. begbert2

          You’re too kind. My snap response was, ‘Who told you Jesus was good? His devoted acolytes? Let’s ask Lynette “Squeaky” Fromme what she thought about Charles Manson, shall we?’

    2. Mr. Random

      It all depends on what your definition of good is. Mine is cares and acts for the well being of others. It can take a lot of moral grey too if you think about it. What’s your definition?

    3. hof1991

      Mother Teresa — ‘God doesn’t require us to succeed, he only requires that you try.’

    4. Absolom

      I reject your false dichotomy and substitute my own! There is no such thing as an evil person: only those who desperately wish to be evil, and those who don’t.

      Or maybe you would prefer something a little different. There are two types of potato salad: ones that have been left out on the picnic blanket for too long, and those that haven’t.

      Hahahahaha, how does it feel to know that other people can say complete nonsense? Would you say the tables have turned? Or would you be the type of person to not care to say that? Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

      1. Dimonite

        Ok, so it’s more of a spectrum. I was quoting Amber to make a point, and a dichotomy was the easiest way to do that. I know I’m leaving out people who just sorta try to be good. But I don’t really care. And seriously, you’re not exactly disproving my basic point.

        1. Absolom

          Not disproving what, exactly? That nobody is “good?” That any action that you would call “good” is only an act of desperation? That all people are “evil”, but some are remorseful?

          I don’t need to disprove your basic point. I’m content in my conviction that morality is a fluid concept, not some rules set in stone that rule out desire, aspiration, questioning, fornication, and other things that come naturally to humans. Morality is something that takes into account these things, and how they affect people.

          So you’re just wrong when you imply that people are basically evil. Because people invented morality, and people adjust morality when it doesn’t seem to work. Maybe you’ve never felt it because you’ve been told that anything you feel that is “good” is willed by god, and anything else is sin. But questioning and wanting and even fornicating can be goddamned good things, because they can benefit people in many ways. And nobody needs desperation for wanting to do them, because they are natural. Human. Tendencies.

  32. J.C.

    (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

    1. Just Cheeto Dust

      (ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ ┻━┻

      (she did say “rage-flipped”)

      1. anonymous

        holy frig ascii emoticons are scary

  33. newllend

    …ha, you know thats kind of funny, him saying Jesus would be angered by what Joyce is doing when you really think about it…speaking about that I wonder how that situation is going?

    1. newllend

      But to be serious he’s rite If I was there I would have falcon bongo slap ethan upside the back of the head and tell him to FUCKING MAKE UP HIS MIND ALREADY!

      1. Nym

        But he has made up his mind? It’s just that hardly anyone agrees with his decisions.

        1. newllend

          Really? So he decides to be in a full on heterosexual relationships and then started every guy that comes his way which includes jacob, Danny, Joshua…so ya seems like he was positive in his decision.

        2. Leorale

          Do you just make a decision and then nothing outside of your choice catches your eye anymore ever again?

          Also, in this particular case, Ethan decided to “resist temptation”, not stop feeling temptation ever.

  34. Arkadi

    …that was a pretty good answer, actually.

    1. Bilfred

      I would answer with that.

  35. White Chocolate Nubian Princess

    The Last Redemption of Danny.

  36. Mr. Random

    If you think about it, a good amount of the Bible is pretty kickass. Although there are some plotholes. Super strength from hair? Stretches suspension of disbelief.

    1. begbert2

      If you take out all the parts that stretch suspension of disbelief, all you get are bunch of people talking about their wars and legal systems.

      1. nekobawt

        don’t forget the “begats”

    2. Dudeface

      Well if you want to be technical the loss of super strength was punishment for cutting his hair, not because he cut his hair. Or so I’ve read on TVtropes

      1. Jon P

        But he didn’t even cut his own hair! Although it’s pretty damn stupid to have some lady ask “Gee, Samson, what makes you so strong?”, and when the first two times turn out to be tricks, you answer truthfully the third time.

    3. Jackson

      …Are you saying Tristan is Samson?

  37. Claire

    This may sound stupid but- even though we all knew who Amazi-girl was this is really the first time that it feels out in the open. Like, Danny is there, Amber is Amber and she has the mask off. She’s not even tagged as Amazi-girl. Everybody knows everything.

    1. Bilfred

      Dude, stop it with the crazy fan theories.

  38. Chico

    Holy shit, Amber’s Amazigirl.

    1. StClair

      Hey, you and Bilfred:
      This joke hasn’t been funny for at least a month now.
      (At least.)

      1. Seerow

        That joke will be funny until the comic ends. Or until Willis puts a ban on it like he did with asking if Ethan is gay.

        1. Clif

          Truth.

        2. hexalm

          Or mentioning [redacted].

  39. nothri

    I’m surprised a guy who dated a atheist for so long would care about stuff Jesus did.

    1. begbert2

      You’d be surprised at how phenomenally ineffective atheists are at spreading their worldviews. And at how knowledgeable they are about the contents of christian scripture.

      1. Kelly

        Not really any more ineffective than religions are (in modern times anyway. I guess it used to work better because of the power differential? dunno)

      2. Kevin

        Nobody is effective at changing someone else’s worldviews. How often do you see adults switching their religion or political affiliation? Obviously it happens, but such changes are usually borne of traumatic or dramatic life events, not conversation and persuasion.

      3. David

        It’s kind of the point of making an informed choice rather than believing. Personally, I am quite more irritated by all the stuff in the Bible the avid Christians tend to be unaware of. Or by the cherry-picking going on along the lines of “well, this one is obviously God’s will and message, and this one not so much. That one’s to be taken in historical context, and that one’s God’s unwavering and everlasting will and testament.”

        It’s a bit like “I believe in God the Almighty and his prophet, myself.” Very annoying. There are, of course, scientists who are also devout believers, and they tend to make much less of a mess of it. But of course, that my just be my own impression since they may just be better in polishing the mess in those corners that would be annoying to either of us.

        1. ninja_jesus

          Couldn’t “cherry-picking” be considered making informed choices? Choices informed by modern society as well as dogma. I don’t see the problem with acknowledging the immorality of certain teachings in the Bible and condemning them while upholding the teachings of other parts. On an individual basis, it’s pretty much what everyone does when faced with something that has both good and bad points; some choose to ignore the good to condemn the bad, others vice versa, and everything in between. Sure, on the subject of Christianity, it may make them a “bad Christian”, but it also makes them better human beings compared to others who follow it all on blind faith. That’s how I see it, at least.

        2. begbert2

          Cherry-picking is an informed choice when you’re like “this part’s a bit of fiction as determined by historical, cultural, and archeological evidence, and this part is probably a pretty accurate reflection of the facts and beliefs of the time, as best we can tell”. If you’re like “this part’s immoral now so I’ll ignore it, and this part’s still relevant so I’ll not immediately discard it”, that’s Values Dissonance.

          I think David was talking about the “this part tells me to do something I don’t like, so I’ll call it an allegory or outright ignore it, and this part tells me I can keep being a jerkass, so it’s God’s Own Permission Slip!” mentally. That one’s not informed choice, it’s confirmation bias.

    2. Rufus Saltus

      Two thoughts:
      1. People can be in relationships and have differing religious views
      2. Non-religious people can still think that Jesus was a pretty good person

      1. StClair

        Jesus Was Way Cool

        When it comes to the bad stuff, I don’t blame him, I blame his fandom.

        1. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          If Shortpacked (the “Businessman and Jesus” scene) is any indication, this seems like Willis’ view of things.

  40. nothri

    Also, on panel 4: Danny, if there was ever…EVER a time when stuff should not be about you, that time is fucking now.

    1. Bilfred

      He’s giving Amber something to compare herself to. He’s inviting her to compare herself to himself, so that she can start to think of herself as a decent person since she’s not much worse than Danny.

      1. Marc in MN

        Sadly, on these comment boards, the phrase “not much worse than Danny,” isn’t really a good thing. 😉

    2. Memyself

      You’re right. Pretty monstrous when someone tries to defuse another person’s self loathing by relating to them. Pretty sure that is the very definition of self-absorbed.

      Pff.

      1. Leorale

        The fancypants term for what he’s doing is “normalizing”. He’s trying to tell her that her feelings are OK. It’s a totally fine thing to do in this situation.

      2. nothri

        Shrug. Today Danny has been as completely oblivious as he has ever been, and that’s been a persistent character trait of his since way back when Dorothy’s breakup took him completely by surprise. So forgive me if I’m being overly cynical with my character interpretations of his actions and pessimistic in how all this is gonna turn out. I’ll be as happy as anyone if it turns out you are right and Dan manages to make something good out of this night. Till then my cup shall remain half-empty, thank you very much.

    3. scabbert

      You’re not very good at this. You should probably stop.

      1. nothri

        Well, that’s certainly a fair criticism coming from someone who has provided so many pages of valuable insight into the characters all this….

        No wait. I don’t think I’ve seen you before. Who the fuck are you again?

        1. David Willis

          Well, that’s an A+ for going after the one guy who didn’t give you any points to refute!

        2. Bilfred

          That’s how I win arguments.

        3. Clif

          Me too. Or it would be if I won arguments.

      2. nothri

        Ugh. Sorry. Long day, bad mood, shouldn’t be taking it out on the new guy (or at least someone I *think* is new. Are you?). Anyway, I’ll try to be friendlier from now on. As far as what you said goes, I’m not gonna stop talking about the story or the characters, but I’ll meet you half-way and try to make better points in the future.

        1. begbert2

          Out of curiosity, why would anybody give a fuck if somebody’s new here? This is a comment section. It’s not like being a noob means that you’re going to screw up and cause your teammates to get a headshot.

        2. anonymous

          Obviously nothri hangs out in some meaner forums where they just stand around waiting to pounce on noobs or being noobs.

        3. anonymous

          *for

        4. nothri

          Obviously. You see, my great grandfather was once wronged by a newb. So he swore a bloodoath to seek revenge not only on that newb, but all newb. And every generation of my family has taken the same oath. It is a lonely, terrible existence, cleaving to a vow that no longer has any meaning nor serves any purpose, but once sworn a bloodoath cannot be forsaken. So I ride across the countryside, from one forum to the next (and yes, getting a live horse into an online forum is as much of a bongo as you might expect) wreaking a bloody terror against all newbs I encounter. Some nights I pray for forgiveness. Others I pray that a young newb with a stout heart and a steady swordhand will finally cut me down and end the madness for us all. Until that day comes, I ride on, bringing doom to all I encounter.

          Or a guy pissed me off at the end of a long day. One of those stories is definitely true.

        5. begbert2

          I choose to believe the first story, as it’s significantly more awesome.

        6. anonymous

          Agree with begbert on this one. And obviously she has been on each forum since the beginning of time. Eternality.

        7. Roborat

          But . . . if you are going from forum to forum, that makes you the newb. And that means . . . (head asplodes).

        8. nothri

          Indeed. But all things are relative. When I first arrive at a forum, I am the newb. But when another newb arrives, their newbieness is newbier than my newbieness, and I am free to do battle. Until that time, however, I am obligated by oath to sit in the corner and attack myself. It is an unpleasant existence indeed.

        9. Clif

          I have a new hero.

          T H E L E G E N D O F n o t g r i

          My great grandfather was once wronged by a newb. So he swore a bloodoath to seek revenge not only on that newb, but all newb. And every generation of my family has taken the same oath. It is a lonely, terrible existence, cleaving to a vow that no longer has any meaning nor serves any purpose, but once sworn a bloodoath cannot be forsaken. So I ride across the countryside, from one forum to the next (and yes, getting a live horse into an online forum is as much of a bongo as you might expect) wreaking a bloody terror against all newbs I encounter. Some nights I pray for forgiveness. Others I pray that a young newb with a stout heart and a steady swordhand will finally cut me down and end the madness for us all. Until that day comes, I ride on, bringing doom to all I encounter.

          Now is that awesome or what?

        10. Clif

          n o t g r i ==> n o t h r i
          :-/

        11. nothri

          Like I said, mostly I was in a bad mood and making assumptions, and being in a bad mood I read his comment as “Shut the fuck up and get the fuck out of here” and having read it like that I responded in kind.

  41. Kiggy

    That was kinda profound.

  42. ninja_jesus

    Jesus was a righteous person,
    When he was at the Temple Mount,
    He saw corruption all about,
    So he flipped tables and he chased them out!

    His tolerance for crime was absolute zero,
    To every Christian, he is a hero.

    Praise be to Jesus!
    Praise be to Amazi-Girl Jesus!

    1. Mr. Morningstar

      You were waiting for the opportunity to use that weren’t you.

      1. ninja_jesus

        I came up with it on the spot, actually. Was worried no one was gonna comment, but I’m happy someone did. 😀

  43. MacBone

    I love the look Amber has on her face in the last panel, and Danny’s response is pretty sweet, too.

  44. Idon'tcarenomore

    For the total jerkwad Danny has been at times, I think he has been doing pretty decent this past ‘night’.
    He pulled her off Blaine at the right time. He got her out of there.
    He is trying to help her. Maybe not a trained phych, but who is. He’s trying.
    So for once I have got to say, Good Job Danny. I think that was a great comeback line. And saying that he’s glad she Amazi-girl suprized Amber and I think pleased her too.

    1. Leorale

      I fully agree that Danny’s been a really stand up guy tonight. He’s totally redeemed for me.

      I don’t think that particular comment pleased her, though. I read it more as though she had a flickering moment of “what?! he’s glad that all the trauma happened to me??” before she remembered that he didn’t know about her origins and didn’t mean that at all.

  45. Pjotroos

    Good guy Danny. Really glad to see him pull through.

  46. Scott

    Way to Stand up, Danny. Haters gonna hate…

  47. KevinGriffin3CD

    I don’t know which is sadder: the fact that some people will STILL be trying to make Sal/Amazi-Girl jokes after this, or the fact that I’m genuinely going to miss those jokes. :'(

    1. Jon P

      Oh don’t worry, Billie will probably remain dense as lead in that regard for another week (and by week, I mean two books).

    2. Valdrax

      She’s clearly Billie, based on the build. It’s all just a smokescreen by Billie to throw off suspicion.

      1. Mr K

        No, it’s Faz. He convinced Amber to be Amazi-Girl to distract everyone.

  48. cmd1095

    well at least he’s aware he’s not perfect, acceptance is the first step

  49. Soc

    For reference: in earlier drafts of the Bible, Jesus was a huge jerk as a kid who would perform mean, supernatural pranks on people. But as he grew older and wiser he became way nicer and blah blah blah. It was a 2000 year old “hero’s journey”.

    Yea its non-cannon, but its still interesting stuff.

    1. David Willis

      You’re speaking of the Infancy Gospel of Thomas, which wasn’t an “earlier draft,” but was actually written in the second century, which is a bit after most of the canonized Gospels were written.

      (the only exception being John, very possibly)

      1. Leorale

        Luke Jesus is the best Jesus!

      2. ninja_jesus

        The Infancy Gospel of Thomas was pretty funny, having painted Jesus as the reflection of the God of the Old Testament; quick to temper and absolute in morality. It was probably meant to bridge the gap between the Old and New Testament God and to explain the difference in personality.

        I found a bunch of the non-canonical texts here, if anyone is interested. You’ll find the Infancy Gospel of Thomas under “Apocryphal NT Gospels”. I find them all fascinating.

      3. Rutee

        Some earlier drafts of the bible included the Infancy Gospel though. Probably not a majority, since it was eventually editted out, but still.

      4. Felgraf

        Oh god the infancy gospel.

        It’s like terrible, terrible jesus fanfiction.

        And it’s irritating, becuase it shares the name with the Gnostic Gospel of Thomas, which is *fascinating*. It’s really kind of neat, too, how well you can fit Jesus into Gnosticism.

  50. nothri

    Sorry Willis. Its been a long day and I was already kind of on edge when I checked on your update. What I said about the story wasn’t my most clever or insightful comment, and other people’s responses made it clear there are other (probably more intelligent) ways to read the story and everybody’s actions. So my bad attitude kinda cascaded into feeling pretty dumb and resentful, so I kinda went off on that dude. If I’m being honest, its not the fault of anybody here and I shouldn’t be wandering through the door with a shitty attitude and taking it out on you guys. So again sorry for being a jerkass. I like the story and in general I like the people here, so next time I’ll try to calm down and not take it out on your readers.

    1. nothri

      Okay, that was odd. My post got kicked down here. Oh well. Meant what I said, so it can stay here unless there’s some pressing need to move it or delete it or whatever. Thanks for hearing me.

      1. Leorale

        That was classy of you. I hope tomorrow goes better

  51. Kevin

    Hopefully now that the truth is out there, Danny can apologize/make up for what happened on the bridge earlier…

    Ah, the bridge. Well played, Mr. Willis, well played.

    1. Bill

      I’m calling it now — she tosses the mask off the bridge into the water, like women who were getting a divorce in Reno tossed their wedding rings into the Truckee River.
      And thus will end the Legend of Amazi-Girl.

    2. Tom T.

      Frankly, I’m glad to finally see some sober reflection from Amber. Her compartmentalization hurt her relationship with Danny today and put Danny in actual physical jeopardy. Her anger has hurt the feelings of Ethan, a sensitive guy who has always put up with a lot from her in order to be her friend. I don’t think she’s a bad person, but she’s definitely right that she’s broken, and she needs to find a healthier way of dealing with it before she alienates everyone around her. Ethan and Danny are sticking around because they’re loyal, passive guys who don’t think much about their own needs, but even they presumably have their limits.

      1. Tom T.

        I have no idea why my comment appeared here as a reply; it was supposed to be its own comment. Sorry about that.

      2. Clif

        OTOH if it wasn’t for her compartmentalization she wouldn’t have a relationship with Danny to hurt and however broken she may be, it hasn’t kept her from making a difference as Amazi-girl.

        Saying Ethan doesn’t think much about his own needs is just kind of silly. Knowing what he wants to do about them is something else entirely.

  52. Bill

    Danny certainly seems to be taking the knowledge that Amber = Amazi-Girl very calmly.

    1. Kevin

      When someone is going through serious emotional struggles it usually helps not to freak out about whatever is getting to them.

  53. etybolik

    I…I want to think Danny’s doing well here, maybe even offer some praise for him, but I can’t shake this nagging feeling that he’ll still find a way to somehow Dan things up.

    1. nothri

      Or worse. I’m pretty sure it is comic book law that the hero’s sig other gets killed the moment they learn about the secret identity. And they are on a bridge. I’m half expecting Blaine to show up with a trolley full of kids so Amazigirl has to choose whether to save them or Danny from falling and the whole thing ends tragically.

    2. Bill

      Hasn’t happened to Lois Lane or Mary Jane Watson-Parker.

      1. nothri

        Well, I’m not ruling out deals with the devil or crisisi on infinite earths rebooting their relationship status either.

      2. Kevin

        Clearly you haven’t seen the 90’s Spider-Man Animated series

    3. beege

      I think that Danny’s going to do a lot better now that he’s got most of the puzzle pieces. His most notable screw-ups were less because he’s *that* stupid than they were because he was missing one crucial piece of information that would have helped his understanding.

      The guy who’s doing a solid job of supporting Amber is a million miles away from the Danny of a few weeks back (strip time) who was still hung up on Dorothy.

  54. Plasma Mongoose

    Shouldn’t Amber wait until she sneaks back to the dorm to get out of costume?

    1. Mr K

      Billie comes over. “Give Sal back her costume!”.

  55. John

    In unrelated news, Amber’s quizzical expression in the last panel is really cute.

  56. Doom Shepherd

    Danny leveled up. Good to see.

  57. Jesse

    Jesus flipped a table? Somebody draw that!

    1. John

      Willis has ya covered!

      (Okay, he had to get some help from the lesbian.)

      1. Jesse

        Oh yeah, so that’s what that was about.

      2. Arkadi

        Y’know, I wonder how much of the really awesome biblical was actually done by lesbians, and we just never got to know…

        1. 3oranges

          Lesbos was only about 700 miles away!

  58. Kirkybobz

    Amber looks so cute without glasses or her mask. :3

  59. AJBulldis

    I just noticed that Amber has the dot eyes when she doesn’t wear eyewear. That’s interesting.

  60. BarGamer

    Just dropping this here, because I feel it would be relevant to Dina’s interests. http://www.popsci.com/article/science/chickens-wear-prosthetic-dinosaur-tails-science

    1. Arkadi

      For SCIENCE!

    2. hof1991

      That’s ok because that is awesome science. Our science is an awesome science. It reigns.

      1. Arkadi

        It rules.

    3. Gamaran Sepudomyn

      For setting things that you know will explode on fire to see what happens!

      1. Bill

        STAND BACK!!  I’m going to try SCIENCE!!!

        1. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          I think you’re misusing triple exclamation marks. When it involves explosions, it’s “!!SCIENCE!!!”!

  61. RandomRedMage

    Were it not for having just graduating a biblical study course that I was a part of for the past year… >_> Danny’s comment in panel five would have been totally lost on me.

  62. David

    Danny still has a lot of non-dannying ahead of him. Once he finished working on Amber, he still has to convince his ex about letting go of her scoop.

    At what point of time are we going to find out that he’s just been dannying as camouflage and is really batman?

    1. hof1991

      Danny is like Walky. He takes the easy path and floats along. Both have hidden depths that they rarely bother to bring out.

  63. Layn

    Oh man, i was thinking the exact same thing about myself that Amber is saying in panel 3, just before i opened this webpage.

    Well, except the cape part. kinda want one now

  64. theKOT

    Seems like amber needs to learn some self acceptance. Maybe she should run off into the mountains somewhere and just chill out for a while, make some new friends… she just needs to Let It Go.

  65. Arturo

    That last line is first class. Bravo Willis.

  66. Scott

    Dave Willis, you magnificent bastard. If this is the end of AmaziGirl, it could not have been handled better. And if not, it was a VERY good reveal, in both the literal and figurative sense,

    Now to see how Danny tries to keep Dorothy at bay when she looks at those pics and figures it out…

  67. Intie

    Poor girl, I really hate how she’s focusing on all the negativities now, that’s insanely destructive. Help her out Danny.
    I still stand beside the idea that everything she’s done today (from the table flipping until now) was justified, or at least understandable. A lot of people are to blame here for these events, not just her.

  68. Throng

    What’s the opposite of “burn!”?

    That.

    1. Doom Shepherd

      SALVE!

      1. anonymous

        Amber just got SALVED?– or should it be SAVED, as a fitting Biblical reference? Jesus saves you in Heaven/Satan burns you in Hell. Doesn’t quite work, but…
        What a HEALTHY SAVE!

    2. 3oranges

      “Freeze.” It should be avoided in most superhero contexts.

      1. anonymous

        That’s what I was thinking, but the opposite of “freeze” is “melt”… but maybe “freeze” can have two opposites. Like “boy” could be the opposite of “man” or of “girl.” *shrugs* Or maybe the real opposite is “put out”? But that’s no fun…
        Overanalyzing: it’s how my brain works

        1. Valerie

          Putting out IS fun, silly.

  69. Greenygal

    Continuing to have hearts in my eyes for Danny.

  70. Bodehn

    I’m waiting for Danny’s inevitable “Oh crap, I gave my DS to some complete stranger!” moment.

    1. The_Master

      I gave my DS to the girl this girl stabbed with a knife.

      1. John

        Danny doesn’t know that yet. (And for once I’m going to give him a pass on that, because he has none of the information he’d need to even begin to figure it out.) He probably thinks Amber freaking out upon seeing him talking to Sal was simple jealousy.

    2. Bill

      Actually, he’s probably thinking “Cool!  This means there’s TWO people I can play Mario Kart with!” 

      1. Mal

        Only if he buys another DS.

      2. John

        I still want to see Sal and Amber form a Mario-Kart friendship through the DSes with neither of them realizing who the other actually is.

        “Wait… you’re that girl who stabbed me!”
        “Well, you’re that girl who took my boyfriend hostage!”
        “You shot me with a blue shell!!”
        “You stole Wiggler!!”

        1. Mr K

          Then they make out.

        2. sidhe3141

          Is there any story that can’t be improved by adding “Then they make out” to the end?

    3. what was the question again?

      You’re assuming he doesn’t jump to a Dannylusion: Amber isn’t the SAME amazigirl as Sal, who was the original Amazigirl who he’s fucked and Danny is about to let the Amber down again and explain that he just wants to be friends with her and that dressing up as amazigirl won’t change that because he’s TRULY and MADLY and DEEPLY in love with the REAL amazigirl.

      Who he then explains to Amber is Sal, at which point she burns him to death with her heat vision.

      Or none of that will happen.

      One of those two.

      1. anonymous

        Clearly, Sal must secretly be Amber.

        Dannylusion– is that a Danny conclusion or a Danny delusion?

      2. Bill

        When were Danny and Amazi-Girl bumping uglies?  They were making out and playing tonsil hockey with each other on the ground beside the street sign they cleaned and replaced, but he even admitted to Joe in a follow-up strip that they only went as far as heavy petting.

        And Danny has never been with Sal until this particular story arc when the two of them were playing Mario Kart and Sal selected Wiggler — which made Danny *think* at that time that Sal was Amazi-Girl, although he now knows otherwise.

        As far as we know, Danny and Dorothy got it on together when they were still a couple iin high school, and Billie and Danny committed “journalism” together when she tried to get information about Amazi-Girl from him.

        1. Lokitsu

          You do realize DS stands for Nintendo DS, right?

        2. fudo81

          Billie and Danny didn’t really “commit journalism” after all, as Amber knows (having listened to Billie’s tape).

        3. Bill

          You are correct, I didn’t follow through the strips far enough.  I just saw the strip where Joe peeked inside and then hung the sock on the door … and I figured that Joe was experienced enough to be able to recognize “journalism” as opposed to journalism.

      3. David Willis

        Danny and Amazi-Girl have not banged.

        1. The Candyman

          It was only a session of extreme cuddling.

        2. Leorale

          “Mostly Snuggling” is my favourite kind, too.

  71. nate

    great comic!!!!!!

  72. Gargamel

    So not clinical depression then? Was a little worried in the last strip.

  73. hof1991

    Danny and Amber are the only real couple in DOA. Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy gets girl.

    Dorothy and Walky don’t count as they skipped the middle and went straight to carmelville. None of the others have really gotten through the meeting part.

    1. David Willis

      ????

      1. Jaxx Sentinel

        What he means is that Danny and Amber follow the written system for al relationships . I wouldn’t say that Dorothy and Walky are not a real couple because Walky did lose Dorothy …to blue jean sleeping pants << (to be fair I'd have the same dilemma, shits comfy bro! )

        1. David Willis

          I’m kind of skeeved out that sex apparently isn’t a real component in a relationship, or that it “went right straight to it,” or that it matters if it went right straight to it. There’s so much wrong that seems to be suggested in that post that I’m having trouble unpacking it all.

        2. Peter

          Sex is a real component in a relationship – it’s just that, to my surprise, it seems like people think that it’s the ONLY component in their relationship, which would indeed feel… different, if not wrong.

          But I always felt that it wasn’t like that. I thought it was clear that Dorothy feels attracted to Walky because he acts as a balance to her idiosyncracies. Maybe I’m reading too much into it?

      2. Smartass

        I think that what he means is that we, the readers, didn’t see walky’s and dorothy’s relationship forming. It was more like, bang, that’s the new guy. There also wasn’t much insight after that, except for the physical aspect. They haven’t had much character development as couple. Danny’s and Amber’s relationship has formed in front of our eyes, has been forged in hellfires, and they are both growing with it as person. It contributes so much more to the comic.

        1. Smartass

          Well, at least that’s what I’m thinking. No need to mask my opinion with other peoples posts.

        2. David Willis

          I…… disagree strongly? Walky’s character development as Dorothy’s half of their couple is 90% of his appearances. It’s vastly why he exists in this comic, and he’s now the third-most-appearing character.

        3. Peter

          With you on that one. Walky balances out Dorothy’s ambition and makes her more human.

        4. Eolirin

          I’d say a lot of the disconnect is really more that Walky and Dorothy have a relatively healthy relationship, and that while Walky has grown a lot, it’s been gradual and hasn’t been the consequence of sudden dramatic event. This is not a bad thing, mind, just that it’s easier to gloss over all the things that happen there, and a lot harder to miss the big emotional moments with, say, Amber or Ruth.

        5. nothri

          Yeah, that’s the only thing I can figure folks are talking about. Dorothy and Walky have had an ongoing relationship that has evolved since the series began, and generally has grown stronger and healthier for it. Walky started off as this clownish type who has started taking responsibility for his actions and taking an interest in where his life is going. Dorothy has done the opposite, learning to take her life *slightly* (emphasis thereon) less seriously. I think the disconnect people are running into is that there has been less melodrama exchanged between Dorothy and Walky than, say, Billie and Ruth (to pick someone at random) and mistaking that for lack of development. The thing is, there has obviously been drama POTENTIAL between them- the bit with the pajama pants, the trap Mike tried to force Dorothy into during Feminist Studies, the whole “Walky meets Danny and wants his shoes” exchange….there have been plenty of places for drama to unfold. But for the most part, Dorothy and Walky are able to deal with those hiccups (like a healthy couple should) and move on. For some people that might create the illusion that they haven’t “earned” their relationship status compared to the other characters. Which, fair enough, they have not gone through quite the level of shit Amber and Danny are currently dealing with, nor is it the obviously ticking time bomb that Joyce and Ethan have going on. The fact that they’ve seemingly reached a point of stability in their relationship doesn’t mean it isn’t unrealistic, nor that it is uninteresting, or that it is boring. Least not for me. I’ll own that I am MORE interested in some of the other plot threads of the story right now (obviously the amazigirl thread we’re currently looking out, followed closely by Billie and Ruth’s budding…friendship? Romance? Whatever abomination is being spawned between them, followed by other plot threads like Ethan closeting himself and Joyce enabling it or the racism in the Walkerton family), but that doesn’t mean I’m not enjoying watching W/D’s romance unfold. Hell, that brief interlude with them just these past few strips was a nice sigh of relief from the super heavy plot we had just come from.

          And I’m rambling. Not sure if I have a point to make, but I think I’ve thrown out all my thoughts on the subject, so do with it what you will.

    2. 3oranges

      I don’t understand why that’s how couples need to develop, so it’s probably only natural that I don’t understand why Dorothy breaking up with Walky doesn’t count as “boy loses girl”.

  74. Bottledflower

    My spidersense is tingeling, will this lead to “Danny performs a sex”?

    1. David Willis

      no

      1. Incubus

        Aside from “Danny performs a Sex” being a horribly unoriginal title now. . .guys seriously stop asking for David Willis to make more porn during moments of the comic which should not be remotely titillating.

        1. David Willis

          that

        2. Mr K

          Faz performs a Sex is much better.

        3. Mr. Random

          Faz and Wen should never be allowed to breed.

    2. anonymous

      You mean your Amazi-sense?

  75. Makkabee

    Danny has a good comeback. I’m actually impressed with his wit, just this once.

    I also suspect that this is a set-up for an extra-special piece of stupid.

  76. Galatine

    Oh, snap! Good one, Danny!

  77. Peter

    What I find worth noticing is that:
    – Amber doesn’t make the same mistake twice – this time she (not Amazi-Girl, but Amber, as was clear from the voice/speech bubbles) acts when someone she covets is under threat, and
    – she fails to give herself credit for that… which actually makes sense, because she is evidently guilt-ridden. It may take a genuine Danny, wearing his heart on his sleeve, to snap her out of it.

  78. Clif

    The only way panel 5 could have been more of a spoiler would be if Sal’s face was substituted in for Amber’s.

    Before I posted I went back and added the “for Amber’s.” Otherwise there would have been an entire thread assuming I meant substituting in Sal’s face for Danny’s.

    1. Clif

      Which could have been pretty spoilerish as well had things gone in that direction.

      1. David Willis

        http://itswalky.tumblr.com/post/75936621644/spoilers

        1. Stomphoof

          Best Spoilers ever! TOTALLY CANON NOW

        2. nothri

          Now clearly she needs to continue pulling off masks like Scooby Doo until Danny realizes that everyone he’s ever interacted with on campus has really just been Amazigirl all along!

        3. sidhe3141

          And finally reveal Danny’s face under all of them.

        4. Clif

          WOW!

  79. jonathan

    I think Amazi-girl is most effective at beating the crap out of HERSELF

    1. Cragalanch

      That’s not Amazi-Girl. Amazi-girl has ceased to exist

  80. That Mystery Guy

    David should start doing 2 comics a day, unless he does it all last minute…

  81. nothri

    So is Amber squinting, or is there like a pressure point on the bridge of her nose that makes her eyes bug out when pressed, as by her glasses or her mask?

  82. Giant Speck

    David, I love the gloomy rainytimes colors you used in these past few strips; it really sets the scene well.

  83. Mr. Random

    So here’s a question. How many people are getting ready to visit the website? How many are expecting a new strip? Time will tell.
    30 minutes.

    1. Mr. Random

      Guess I was wrong.

  84. Shay Guy

    Say, wasn’t Danny one of the fundie-by-default characters in Roomies?

    1. David Willis

      Yes, and in the Dumbiverse I’d say he’s still nominally a Christian.

  85. JasonAW3

    Silly Amber, most of the BEST heroes are ones how are in some way, broken. It’s a form of coping mechanism.

    Sure, you got issues, but I’ve seen people with far lesser issues do far worse things than what you did. Maybe he’ll finally get the message and back the hell off.

  86. BrokenEye, True False Prophet

    How many swords have you launched from your mouth with which to smite all nations today?

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