Is this any association to the buddy/pal/friend Venn diagram and the “I’m not your” intersections?
Khyrin
The one I’m thinking of has “hey Buddy” in the middle, then has as its intersections with other circles as:
“Petting a Dog” overlaps with “Starting a fight” to give us: “Hey Buddy, you wanna go outside?”
“Starting a fight” overlaps with “consoling a child” to give is: “Hey Buddy, you want your mommy?”
“Consoling a child” overlaps with “petting a dog” to give us: “Hey Buddy, shh, it’s okay.”
You don’t see how that’s condescending towards her currently introverted behavior?
Thag Simmons
I’ve used the same language to describe my own introverted behavior, I think the phrase itself is mostly unproblematic.
Ethan is being mean here, but (IMO) that comes from his general tone and the specific accusation that Amber was hoping she could try to talk to him without actually having to talk to him.
The only problem I can see with that is that Ethan isn’t introverted, and in general one shouldn’t needlessly call them out on that stuff, since it’s not introverts’ fault they’re like that and can’t really help it anyway.
Thag Simmons
That is so much more condescending than the thing Ethan said.
I definitely didn’t mean to imply that you were doing that! You definitely weren’t and I’m sorry if I caused you any stress.
Felix
You are making it sound like there is something wrong with being an introvert though. I’m sure you don’t mean to, but it can certainly be read that way.
@Felix, Yeah I FOR SURE didn’t mean it like that, I just meant that it’s kinda pointless and trolling to point that out about them (myself included) when it’s just a given for them and if that just another way to be.
Being a socially-challenged neurodivergent (S.A.D. and vocal dysphoria) I know from really painful experience just how uncomfortable it is to be called attention to for stuff like that and be made even more self-conscious about it.
But on this note, (not to blame you for anything) it also pays to be a little more tranquil and give people in general the benefit of the doubt on what they say. On a multicultural frontier such as the internet, misunderstandings are better off treated as the rule, not the exception.
Yeah, this conversation is definitely going to be about how each of them are not doing so great, and are having strong grieving reactions that hurt each other.
Grieving sucks, they don’t even have tools or supports, it’ll be a thing.
Ethan will lash out. (That’s new behaviour for him, since Mike’s death. He’s always been a peaceful and passive dude, like his dad.)
Amber will mainly lash inwards. (She finds it comfortably familiar to hate on herself.)
Their childhood pattern is that Ethan tries to steadily comfort and support Amber, and Amber tries to defend Ethan. Ethan may be breaking up their pattern by refusing to comfort Amber. It’s interesting, I like it.
See, I took that as a nervous, socially-anxious and guilt-ridden attempt to be positive. Whatever else has passed between them, they’ve been friends a very long time, and saying that up front indicates she still considers him one of her best buds. It also sounds a bit like a failed-but-tried conveyance of sympathy. But can absolutely understand it could be read in many ways (and Ethan isn’t in the best head-space to take it kindly).
Kelibath
Oooooof course I also misremembered it as coming from Amber and not Ethan. Okay, yeah, the emphasis is seriously indicative she’s being seen as everything but.
Amber did spend a fair amount of time (the whole run of the comic) wearing down Ethan’s emotional reserves before possibly/apparently dropping him like a stone in the wake of Mike’s death. And now she’s pacing back and forth in front of his door, hoping she doesn’t have to talk to him but still wanting a halo for reaching out. I’d be salty at her too.
Without knowing exactly what happened between Mike’s injury and now it’s hard to tell how justified Ethan’s anger is.
Needfuldoer
Amazi-Girl knew Mike went splat, but Amber didn’t.
Ethan might not know how deep that rabbit hole goes, or fully understand the split, so he feels Amber deliberately withheld information about what happened to Mike (until after it all flashed back to her in the kidnapping basement).
Regalli
He realized when she said she didn’t have AG’s memories in the aftermath that this was, in fact, something REALLY significant and a VERY deep issue. Nonetheless, the fact that it got to the point where she and AG weren’t sharing memories and none of their friends knew (except Walky, and I’m not certain Amber was aware he figured it out because he’d interacted with both of them and noticed they didn’t remember all the interactions)? Yeah, that is deeply concerning, and the fact that Amber didn’t seem to treat this as something that was deeply worrisome and actively dangerous, to herself (it’s generally not good if you’re a vigilante who doesn’t remember who you might be pissing off) and ultimately to all of them (because she wasn’t aware to warn everyone her and Becky’s evil dads were on the loose and murderously violent) did seem to anger Ethan once he knew. So, he seemed to be angry about the situation even once he realized there was a dissociating issue in play, but more angry that Amber let this very unsustainable thing become status quo long enough that it COULD have really dangerous consequences. Which, as someone who cares about Amber, is also kinda fair – it’s hard to watch someone you care about not take care of themselves, even if it HADN’T endangered him and Mike in the process.
192 thoughts on “Buddy”
Ana Chronistic
why did I read Ethan’s line in a Pauly Shore voice
Rose by Any Other Name
… why would you say that?
Now that’s all I can hear.
sabotabby
idk who that is and i think this comment implies i should be glad?
sabotabby
oh i hate that avatar, did i do the right thing to change it?
Felix
Well, at least one of them has a comedic value..?
Decidedly Orthogonal
XD
Both of you could _rock_ BJ Cat with your usernames.
Mustachio
Hello, Mr. Willis!
Ana Chronistic
11:56, clock
Decidedly Orthogonal
0935
Suzi
Thanks Willis, I needed that alt text to remind me of the mountain hole horrors story.
Bunny
You mean the story where the people get sucked into holes in the side of the mountain?
Svata
Climb into and get… processed, but yes
Decidedly Orthogonal
What is it called / where can I find the mountain? It sounds like fun!
J
The Enigma of Amigara Fault by Junji Ito. The author excels at turning disturbing metaphors into even more disturbing horror stories.
Decidedly Orthogonal
Thank you. Now go I forth to find my hole.
Opus the Poet
Or it could refer to the kindergarten in Stephen Universe, where the Gems come out of holes.
Shen Hibiki
… where do you think the inspiration for THAT comes from? XD
Tan
Well instead (or rather in addition), let me remind you of they “Hey buddy” venn diagram.
Decidedly Orthogonal
Is this any association to the buddy/pal/friend Venn diagram and the “I’m not your” intersections?
Khyrin
The one I’m thinking of has “hey Buddy” in the middle, then has as its intersections with other circles as:
“Petting a Dog” overlaps with “Starting a fight” to give us: “Hey Buddy, you wanna go outside?”
“Starting a fight” overlaps with “consoling a child” to give is: “Hey Buddy, you want your mommy?”
“Consoling a child” overlaps with “petting a dog” to give us: “Hey Buddy, shh, it’s okay.”
Khyrin
messed up the link: click my username to see the image itself.
3oranges
The alt text was made for you.
The Other Mike
DRR… DRR… DRRRRR…
Amós Batista
shit, this history haunts me since I read this shit
Felix
Isn’t this a Douglas Adams reference tho?
Needfuldoer
Just think of Billy the Mountain instead, collecting his fat calendar photo royalty checks and his wife Ethel the tree.
Ryek Hvek
….growing off of his shoulder….
zee
Now the question is if Willis had the original manga in mind, or the time a kids show referenced it
Lingo
He’s linked to the manga before.
The Wellerman
Strange things are happening to the site clock.
Also, that’s rather condescending, Ethan.
Thag Simmons
But still essentially accurate
The Wellerman
“go back in your hole”
Surely there’s a better way of saying that part (if it had to be said at all).
Thag Simmons
He’s clearly pretty angry with her, and I don’t see what’s so bad about “go back to your hole” in specific
The Wellerman
You don’t see how that’s condescending towards her currently introverted behavior?
Thag Simmons
I’ve used the same language to describe my own introverted behavior, I think the phrase itself is mostly unproblematic.
Ethan is being mean here, but (IMO) that comes from his general tone and the specific accusation that Amber was hoping she could try to talk to him without actually having to talk to him.
The Wellerman
The only problem I can see with that is that Ethan isn’t introverted, and in general one shouldn’t needlessly call them out on that stuff, since it’s not introverts’ fault they’re like that and can’t really help it anyway.
Thag Simmons
That is so much more condescending than the thing Ethan said.
The Wellerman
I definitely didn’t mean to imply that you were doing that! You definitely weren’t and I’m sorry if I caused you any stress.
Felix
You are making it sound like there is something wrong with being an introvert though. I’m sure you don’t mean to, but it can certainly be read that way.
Needfuldoer
He’s just using it as an easy target to jab her.
The Wellerman
@Felix, Yeah I FOR SURE didn’t mean it like that, I just meant that it’s kinda pointless and trolling to point that out about them (myself included) when it’s just a given for them and if that just another way to be.
Being a socially-challenged neurodivergent (S.A.D. and vocal dysphoria) I know from really painful experience just how uncomfortable it is to be called attention to for stuff like that and be made even more self-conscious about it.
But on this note, (not to blame you for anything) it also pays to be a little more tranquil and give people in general the benefit of the doubt on what they say. On a multicultural frontier such as the internet, misunderstandings are better off treated as the rule, not the exception.
Queen Anthai
Yeah, we can say that about ourselves, but it’s mean coming from someone else. Ethan’s clearly being a jerk here.
Decidedly Orthogonal
Fully disagree. By modern standards the clock remains marginally precise, but at 14 minutes off, is woefully inaccurate.
dralou
Honestly, I find that “Buddy” a whole lot more condescending and passive-agressive than what he said about Amber wanting to go back to her hole.
There’s so much subtext in that sole word, and all of it is negative.
Leorale
Yeah, this conversation is definitely going to be about how each of them are not doing so great, and are having strong grieving reactions that hurt each other.
Grieving sucks, they don’t even have tools or supports, it’ll be a thing.
Ethan will lash out. (That’s new behaviour for him, since Mike’s death. He’s always been a peaceful and passive dude, like his dad.)
Amber will mainly lash inwards. (She finds it comfortably familiar to hate on herself.)
Their childhood pattern is that Ethan tries to steadily comfort and support Amber, and Amber tries to defend Ethan. Ethan may be breaking up their pattern by refusing to comfort Amber. It’s interesting, I like it.
Kelibath
See, I took that as a nervous, socially-anxious and guilt-ridden attempt to be positive. Whatever else has passed between them, they’ve been friends a very long time, and saying that up front indicates she still considers him one of her best buds. It also sounds a bit like a failed-but-tried conveyance of sympathy. But can absolutely understand it could be read in many ways (and Ethan isn’t in the best head-space to take it kindly).
Kelibath
Oooooof course I also misremembered it as coming from Amber and not Ethan. Okay, yeah, the emphasis is seriously indicative she’s being seen as everything but.
RassilonTDavros
Fly home, “Buddy.”
Emothan works alone.
Kelibath
You win today.
DarkoNeko
The lat text : why would you say that. whyyyy
Thag Simmons
This is genuinely the best Ethan’s ever looked, despite this clearly being him in a really bad spot healthwise
PB
Please talk.
Kyrik Michalowski
Emo Ethan is going to be a bummer for years, isn’t he?
How do we fix him?
DojimaKojima
Emo Ethan… Atheist Joyce, what’s next, Mean Marcie?
The Wellerman
Nobody’s safe! EVERYBODY’s gonna get it!
King Daniel
Bitter Becky?
…Lawless Lucy?
Ed Callahan
Lucy Lawless? Xena probably wouldn’t be interested in being a student at IU but maybe being a staff member of the ROTC program.
Nono
Well, their teenagers, so possibly with genitals.
Which would also cause more problems, but y’know.
The Wellerman
Not a bad trade, IMO.
misanthropope
when in doubt, dina.
Agemegos
Isn’t this exactly why nobody was supposed to die. So that exactly this would not happen?
Needfuldoer
A full-size Snickers bar should do the trick.
The Wellerman
Is it just me, or does Robin look especially attractive as a goth?
EpochFlame
ethan’s an ass now 😐
The Wellerman
Given the “go back in your hole” part, I’d take it one step further.
anonymsly
Amber did spend a fair amount of time (the whole run of the comic) wearing down Ethan’s emotional reserves before possibly/apparently dropping him like a stone in the wake of Mike’s death. And now she’s pacing back and forth in front of his door, hoping she doesn’t have to talk to him but still wanting a halo for reaching out. I’d be salty at her too.
Nono
It goes back and forth, Amber wore down her own reserves defending him over the summer when he came out.
Needfuldoer
Did he ask her to, or was that something she felt obligated to do for her own reasons?
“So you’ll fake it with her, but you wouldn’t fake it with me?”
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/coercing/
Thag Simmons
Without knowing exactly what happened between Mike’s injury and now it’s hard to tell how justified Ethan’s anger is.
Needfuldoer
Amazi-Girl knew Mike went splat, but Amber didn’t.
Ethan might not know how deep that rabbit hole goes, or fully understand the split, so he feels Amber deliberately withheld information about what happened to Mike (until after it all flashed back to her in the kidnapping basement).
Regalli
He realized when she said she didn’t have AG’s memories in the aftermath that this was, in fact, something REALLY significant and a VERY deep issue. Nonetheless, the fact that it got to the point where she and AG weren’t sharing memories and none of their friends knew (except Walky, and I’m not certain Amber was aware he figured it out because he’d interacted with both of them and noticed they didn’t remember all the interactions)? Yeah, that is deeply concerning, and the fact that Amber didn’t seem to treat this as something that was deeply worrisome and actively dangerous, to herself (it’s generally not good if you’re a vigilante who doesn’t remember who you might be pissing off) and ultimately to all of them (because she wasn’t aware to warn everyone her and Becky’s evil dads were on the loose and murderously violent) did seem to anger Ethan once he knew. So, he seemed to be angry about the situation even once he realized there was a dissociating issue in play, but more angry that Amber let this very unsustainable thing become status quo long enough that it COULD have really dangerous consequences. Which, as someone who cares about Amber, is also kinda fair – it’s hard to watch someone you care about not take care of themselves, even if it HADN’T endangered him and Mike in the process.
Sam