179

Called it
Posted on September 28, 2014 by David M Willis

179 thoughts on “Called it”

  1. Camachri

    Aww yeah, got this “insulting humans” thing down perfect.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      It’s not that hard I can assure you.

      1. newllend

        I do it all the time.

        1. Rowanmikaio

          Simply by existing! 😛

        2. anonymous

          Don’t I know it, rowan mikaio. I also insult the human race by existing.

        3. TachyonCode

          Whereas I insult the human race for existing! 😀

    2. sps48

      And the “Feeling Superior” bit!

      1. David Herbert

        That’s the best part of being above humans. Like me.

        1. TachyonCode

          And also me.

  2. Stephanie

    XD Carla is the best!

    1. newllend

      Hmmm, she funny and clever, but still not impressed

  3. HMRC4EVR

    No matter the reality, Carla’s still a jerk.

  4. Saintslayer

    Why is Carla trying to be all PG while insulting Sal?

    1. Mattyos

      because she’s sooo PG with the rollie in her mouth and that midriff

    2. liahansen

      Carla knows that cool assholes don’t need profanity to make a point

      1. Deanatay

        *cough*unlike yourself*cough*

        1. Raye the Magic Lesbian

          *snerk* It all depends on if you consider “asshole” to be profanity. Personally, I don’t think of it as that bad. A bit rude, but not actually profanity.

          Also “rectum” is way more insulting, Seriously, next time you’re tempted to call someone an asshole, use rectum instead. They’ll almost always be more offended.

        2. Tenn

          I think you’re on to something.

        3. gwalla

          Rectum? You nearly killed ’em!

    3. Cattleprod

      Because Ultra Car’s cartoon is rated… whatever the TV rating for action cartoons is. Y7? I honestly can’t remember which ratings are American and which are Canadian.

      1. Doctor_Who

        If she lived according to the morals instilled in her by children’s cartoons, I doubt she’d be smoking a joint.

        I mean, I know I’m from the previous generation, but most of the cartoons I grew up on were very clear on that point. Slimer, Kermit, Michelangelo, Garfield, Alvin, Papa Smurf, and even goddamn ALF once teamed up to tell me at length about it and sing an Alan Menken song.

      2. Rachel Roth

        I believe Y7 is an American one. What’s the Canadian one?

        1. Tyler

          The Canadian one closest to it is C8, and that rating allows no foul language, but does allow “socially offensive or discriminatory language” depending on the context, according to Wikipedia.

      3. Mattyos

        Y7 is canadian

    4. Gangler

      Its just some light ribbing over Sal’s skating abilities. Profanities probably would’ve come across as a mite more aggressive than the moment warranted.

    5. MrSirk

      Also because swearing and shit is fucking played out dammit.

      1. Flailing

        It’s fu**in’ not

        1. Lume

          Fuck yeah it really fucking is fuck it

        2. Rusty Shackleford

          If I can’t fuckin’ swear, then I’m fucked!

        3. Lume

          FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK FUK FUK FUK FUK FUK FUK FUK FUK FUK

  5. Emperor Kiva

    Carla stop talkin

    1. liahansen

      (Carla don’t listen talk forever)

  6. Doctor_Who

    “Nobody call me chicken!”

    Suddenly there’s a flash of light, a Deloreon appears, and Professor Doc steps out. “Your kids, Sal! Something has to be done about your kids!”

    They go on an adventure, Sal learns her lesson, and when she comes back she tells Carla where to stick it.

    1. Jen Aside

      “She’s an asshole!”

      1. Lightning

        “This is heavy….”

        1. AgentKeen

          “Great Scott!”

        2. Deanatay

          “There’s that word again! What is it with the future, is there a problem with the Earth’s gravitational pull?”

    2. JA

      on hover skates.

      1. Lume

        …and then Carla turns into a flying car robot and insults her.

  7. someguywithakatana

    So skates are going to factor into this flashback from before I take it?

    1. Kernanator

      I’m trying to imagine a tragic rollerblading accident beyond merely falling and scraping one’s knee, and I am not being particularly successful.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I can skate pretty good except for one small thing, I can’t stop for shit.

      2. Regalli

        Crashing into something, yeah. Or something crashing into you, potentially. And of course it can always be a matter of what you fall ON…

      3. AgentKeen

        Well, the obvious one would be ending up in traffic.

      4. kelticat

        How about a compound fracture of two arm bones, requiring metal scews permanently set into bone, and resulting in minor nerve damage. Because that happened to someone I know.

      5. Lume

        Skates into a truck.

      6. leadsynth

        Danny could jump into your path and Dan it up.

      7. JWLM

        Having one’s sternum shattered during a roller-derby, collapsing a lung and requiring oxygen to remain alive during the rush to surgery followed by a stint in intensive care unit at UCLA hospital.

    2. Tom T.

      Sal couldn’t save Marcie’s vocal cords, because the only way to get her to the hospital on time was by skating there.

  8. liahansen

    Carla is inconceivably cool. She just out-cooled Sal. Sal.

    1. Cephalo the Pod

      Wow, come to think of it, yeah, that’s pretty awesome for someone who’s been in only 16 strips.

    2. Deanatay

      You keep on using that word. I do not think that word means what you think it means. 😉

      Outcooled? I don’t think so. Hurling insults at someone hardly makes you cool. Sal’s refusal to take her bait, to hurl insults back, or be manipulated into doing something she doesn’t want to do? That’s cool.

      1. thelastnerd

        Actually, no. If Sal had just said, “Yeah, I can’t skate, so what?” THAT would be cool. Feeling that her “cool” image is so threatened by the inability to skate that she had to lie about it, only to walk away when her bluff is called, is less cool and more pathetic.

        1. greengeekgirl

          It’s only human to be rattled when someone is coming after you. Maybe it’s not “cool” but it’s not pathetic, either. Besides, we don’t know that the problem is that Sal can’t skate… it could be a deeper issue.

    3. Drake

      Really? I tend to find this strip makes her sound lamer and more childish than *Joyce*. I mean, seriously, this is middle school level stuff. If you want to be a decent asshole, Carla, you are going to need to upgrade your material a lot.

      1. Badeyes

        I think you are right on here. By my calculations Carla’s assholery only rates a 2.7 on the Mike scale.

  9. ShadowWing Tronix

    Just realize Carla’s smoking a joint. I thought it was a cigarette until I looked in this comic.

    1. newllend

      Or that’s just the way Willis draws cigarettes ? I’m not shore I need some confirmation on this.

      1. Catullus

        Most likely a joint, Sal’s smoked cigarettes a number of times in the past.

      2. Dave

        Might be a hand-rolled tobacco cigarette.

  10. Idon'tcarenomore

    Yup, hehe I called it. (first time I said that) love it.

  11. newllend

    Again I don’t know why she would haft to trade up her motor cycle for skates what does she have to prove.

    1. Jen Aside

      A motorcycle derby might be a little TOO hardcore…?

      1. newllend

        There’s no such this as too hardcore.

      2. CptNerd

        It was called “Rollerball” (the James Caan one from the 70’s, not the crappy remake) and it was awesome.

        1. newllend

          Well that just nullified what I just said about the 70s.

        2. Lawzlo

          IMHO, Rollerball was cool but Deathrace 2000 was better (and one of the few times a mockbuster was better than the thing it was ripping off). And like CptNerd, I am referring to the 70’s originals, not the remakes.

        3. MindLink

          How about the computer games based on the premise ? There was “Rocketball” in 1984, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rocketball , and the “Speedball” series always seemed to be inspired by this movie (even if I can’t find any info about that): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speedball_(video_game) , then there were “Skateball”; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skateball

        4. brionl

          “Score! Jonathan E!”
          I still get goosebumps when I hear that part. I got a little bit just typing it.

    2. liahansen

      Only the truly cool can look cool on roller skates.

      1. newllend

        Oh ya just look at the 70s

        1. liahansen

          EXACTLY

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Also Xanadu… ^_^’

        3. Kryss LaBryn

          Fantastic soundtrack.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          It is a lot better to imagine Xanadu as a series of music videos loosely joined instead of a movie.

  12. hof1991

    Happy Carla is the best. Very confident and sexy. Of course her smiles are made of other people’s tears, but its worth it.

  13. JessWitt

    Carla takes insults to the next level.

  14. JA

    FIGHT!!!

    1. Deanatay

      Kiss!

      1. JA

        cannot argue with this option. So.. KISS!

        1. neeks

          KISSFIGHT!

          Kissfights always end in a tie because the participants forget what they were arguing about and everyone wins.

  15. Sensedog

    Of course, they will become friends. Or something like that. A reliable cliché.

    1. Wack'd

      They’re not already?

  16. Rybridge

    “Basically Some Kind of Stigmatized Animal!” is now one of my favorite lines. Making insults and analyzing their devices. Gotta love Carla.

    1. Regalli

      … Damn, now I want that to be the next book title.

      1. Regalli

        AND IT’S THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THE BOOK. Who KNOWS what’s going to happen by the time the Book Five Kickstarter comes around.

        1. Tenn

          Yeah, I think Willis said on Twitter a few days ago that the title of book five is decided and will go live in… whatever number of months are in the buffer.

        2. xKiv

          Comics are currently drawn and uploaded through: January 9, 2015

      2. Karfsma778

        Seonded.

    2. Deanatay

      Skunk!

    3. hof1991

      Carla’s insults get more mellow and unfocused when stoned, so stoned Carla and drunk Mike would get alone fine.

      1. Dorje Sylas

        But would they have the mutual hate sexing while sober? Somehow I doubt it. Also has it been confirmed that DoA Mike has the same happy drunk flaw as his Walkyverse counter part?

  17. Bo Lindbergh

    Carla is so abrasive she should change her name to Carborundum.

  18. Rabid Rabbit

    I’m fairly certain that this is Carla’s closest equivalent to flirting.

    1. newllend

      What’s her equivalent of dirty talk ?

      1. Deanatay

        It would break the censors.

        Yes, DoA has censors. They’re just turned down incredibly low. This would still trigger them.

        1. Jen Aside

          Willis has been censoring _unt [no, not “aunt”] because it’s really not necessary to actually write that out, or worth the negative impact of having actually written it out vs. just having it suggested.

          Pretty sure he’s avoiding, say, racial slurs as well, for a similar reason. But generic, nondiscriminatory swearing is A-OK!

  19. J-debs

    How come the joint isn’t burning down? Is that an everburning joint?!? Where can I get one?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      It’s one of Willy Wonka’s lesser known inventions. 😀

      1. J-debs

        Can’t let the kids see that one!

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Seeing it isn’t the problem, it’s the smoking of it that’s the issue.

        2. J-debs

          So turning them into giant blueberries is ok but that isn’t?

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          But of cause! 😛

        4. Kryss LaBryn

          SCIENCE!!

        5. Sam

          Well, it’s not like he made them into giant blueberries on purpose – they broke the rules.

          Rules that were obviously going to be broken by anyone with curiosity because he said what not to do, but not why not to do it. Willy Wonka was a lunatic who didn’t care who got hurt in his factory really, as pretty much everything off-limits and potentially dangerous was still easy as hell to access and he always responded flippantly to distressed parents.

        6. Jen Aside

          Wonka was a bloody loony!

  20. Random832

    We’re still building up to whatever incident caused Marcie to be mute, aren’t we?

    1. newllend

      Maybe a nother time.

    2. neeks

      That or it’s something that will be alluded to on occasion but never actually addressed, specifically with the intention of inciting a riot in the comments section.

  21. a4lbi

    Aww, It’s okay Sal. I can’t skate either.

    Or ride a bike. 🙁

    1. Kernanator

      Me neither. I also can’t drive, but that’s a whole different thing.

  22. Mr k

    Carla insults like a 10 year old.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      You mean like how Joyce does it?

      1. Kennerly

        No, Joyce is still in kindergarten. By the second grade everyone has mastered real curse words.

        1. Rutee

          Um, I didn’t really curse until I was like, 17. And even then it was just a thing I could do, but didn’t because if you have to use profanity to make a point, it’s because you clearly lack other words and have a smaller vocabulary. Which I now know is bullshit, but hey, we were all dumber when younger.

        2. kelticat

          I remember the first time I dropped the f-bomb in public in High School. The students who used the word quite often looked at me in shock. I told them that just because I didn’t use the words, didn’t mean that I didn’t know them.
          My parents used the profanity is for people without extensive vocabulary arguement. But what really kept me from swearing was the fact that my mom would pop me in the arm anytime I cursed.

        3. Vial Woman

          I was kind of like that too. Because I didn’t curse all the time, the other kids felt I was inferior. When I did curse, they felt the need to intimate me to show me my place at the bottom of the pecking order. When that didn’t work they tried to beat me up, and when they realized I was better at fighting then them, everyone in school avoided me, nobody played with me or spoke to me. Junior High sucked, and if I hadn’t been accepted into a specialized high school, I don’t know what would have become of me, but probably nothing good.

        4. Rutee

          I had grown up witht he same nonsense of being hit for it, yeah. Seems dumb in retrospect. I remember being hit the first time I said “What’s ‘damn'” and learning that the dictionary is a better thing to ask since it doesn’t slap or hit =.=;

          Vial Woman, that is crap, I’m really sorry you got treated that way holy shit. Internet hugs if you’d like them.

        5. kelticat

          What really got me was that anytime I complained to my mom about homework or gym she would tell me “Kwitcherbongoin.” I thought it was rather unfair when that when I used that phrase on her, I got a punch in the arm.

    2. 3oranges

      I remember being called a stigmatized animal when I was ten. I tried replying that I had reflective properties, whereas they were more adhesive. But what ultimately settled it was a discussion of knowledge of others and their comparative uncertainty about myself.

      1. tinfoil theory

        Projection requires reflection?

    3. Wack'd

      And fights like some kind of stigmatized animal.

      1. begbert2

        Cows are stigmatized?

  23. MrMercury

    The peer pressure is strong here

  24. Anon

    I ship them so hard

  25. NF

    Okay, Carla is now hands-down my favorite DoA character.

    1. Lou

      Now all she needs is a pie-throwing robot arm.

      1. Kennerly

        Sadly, her extra appendage was surgically removed.

  26. Koms

    Sal! Show Carla! Whip it.

  27. Lonas

    I hope this doesn’t lead to a Sarla or Marl moment in the future.

  28. epershannd

    i think this might be my favorite doa strip + punchline to date

  29. Malchus

    The image that first came to my head from the term “stigmatized animal” was a squirrel with stigmata.

    Secret Squirrel died for your sins, Chip and Dale. Never forget. NEVER FORGET.

    1. Kryss LaBryn

      Something something THE RED SQUIRREL!

      1. neeks

        Hail Squirreldra!

  30. OnyxIdol

    I totally dig how Carla is impervious to Sal’s coolness.

    BTW, a slipshine of these two would be the best. THE BEST.

    1. Jen Aside

      I get what you’re saying–at the same time, I feel like “Carla Slipshine” is an oxymoron

      1. OnyxIdol

        I don’t see the Oxymoron, unless it’s because, Y’know, Carla doesn’t wear slips, in which case I had to say “meh”.

        1. Jen Aside

          an asexual Slipshine is, like, a waste of subscription money

  31. Suzi

    Calling that Sal was skating with Marcy when something happened and Marcy lost her voice, somehow. So now even though she can skate she doesn’t cuz she is still sad from hurting her friend.

    Or she just can’t skate. Or Marcy hurt hersel skating and now Sal doesn’t want to but respects that Marcy likes it, but personally holds a vendetta against skating cuz it hurt her friend.

  32. TJ Baltimore

    Speaking of animals, I would greatly appreciate it if in this continuity, Carla finds a reason to put an iguana on her head.

  33. Crumplepunch

    Carla has been my favourite character since her “Now it’s hilarious!” reaction to the whiteboard dongs.

    Welcome to the club, new people.

  34. Thomas

    Makes me think of this episode of Octopus Pie: http://www.octopuspie.com/2008-02-01/104-like-a-chump/

    Another refusal to meet a skating challenge, with an explanation provided in flashback. (At least, that’s what I think we’re headed for, eventually.)

    Also note Sal’s earlier refusal to meet a challenge by Amazi-Girl. Apparently, at some point Sal learned to decline challenges, probably the hard way.

    1. hof1991

      It will be a challenge involving Sal and Marcie that will result in Marcie being mute and the challenge will involve skating, so I’ll just call that now. After it, Marcie will go right back to skating, but Sal will never skate again. Sal has had a very eventful childhood.

  35. Nono

    Is it weird that I’m the only one not fond of Carla?

    She’s rude and is exhibiting a hefty amount of peer pressure. ‘C’mon, I bet you can’t even do it.’ In this case, skating isn’t harmful, but if Sal doesn’t want to do it, she shouldn’t have to prove it.

    1. Uragaaru

      I think with another character like Joyce or Dorothy, Carla would come off as overbearing, even mean. But Sal is someone who isn’t exactly phased by Carla’s taunting, especially since it seems to be lighthearted.

    2. Wack'd

      wow it’s almost like characters in this comic have flaws or something

      1. Tenn

        They do? I have been deceived! *stops using the cast as role models*

    3. laila

      No, and you’re not the only one.

      Seems like in BOTH universes Carla is a poor man’s Mike!

    4. shammers

      i like her a fair bit, but that may be because compared to malaya, she’s a peach. i reeeaaally dislike malaya

    5. Jen Aside

      Is it weird that you have your own ideas and opinions??

      *breaks out the torches and pitchforks*

      …j/k 😉

  36. Rhy

    I’m not sure I like the fact that Carla smokes. Someone who’s as physically active as her would suffer from that diminished lung capacity.

    1. Dorje Sylas

      Depends on how much she’s toking, if its more than one a day, ya at some point she’ll stop enjoying aerobic roller skating. Smoked marijuana is comparable to smoked tobacco (¿durr, inhaling burning plant fibers is bad for you?). That includes carcinogens and tars.

      Maybe as a species we need to just realized that inhaling burning things is just an evolutionarily stupid idea. That and moderation, moderation always helps.

  37. curiousgeorgie

    I’m gonna guess that Sal used to (or was forced to) figure skate when she was little, and she thinks that her skating past will become obvious if she puts on those skates, and figure skating definitely doesn’t fit into the stereotype of “too-cool-for-school motorcycle chick”.

    1. kelticat

      Glad someone else thinks so. I was thinking that last night.

  38. Ross Vernal

    Second least favorite character found.

    1. Ross Vernal

      But seriously. I absolutely, totally, 100% cannot stand the type of people who are dicks for no reason other than to be a dick.

      I’m hoping that Sal takes the opportunity to be the smaller person and delivers the thorough ass-kicking that this person, and all other people like her, so richly deserve.

      Basically, I’m saying “Damn, Willis, way to make a character.”

      1. Lanval

        Really? I think she’s just asking Sal to put her money where her mouth is. Sal is sort of acting like a big shot and bringing her down a peg hardly makes her awful.

        Now if Sal steps up to the challenge and Carla mocks her? Yeah, that’s sort of dickish.

        If, on the otherhand, Carla is helpful once Sal admits to a vulnerable and offers to help out (which I’m sort of predicting/hoping for), it sort of shows a soft side to Carla that will shoot her further up in my books.

        1. Nono

          How is Sal acting like a big shot though? Sal shows up, they have a moderately pleasant conversation, then Carla goes, ‘oh wait, I know why you’re not skating like your friend and Malaya. Because you can’t, Ms. Too Cool for School.’

          Sal acts defensively by saying that she can skate. Whether she’s lying or not, I don’t think that’s exactly boasting.

          But then again, I’m not that crazy on Mike or Ruth either, because jerks wear me a bit thin. My opinion of Carla could turn around, but right now she’s not selling it for me.

        2. Crumplepunch

          Apropos of nothing, whenever anyone is called a big shot I immediately think of this Wondermark.

  39. Jimmy

    The one and only thing Sal and I have in common.

  40. scordo

    Sal’s actually amazing at skating, don’t you remember in the beginning, Walky said she was basically batman. Batman trained to be the best at EVERYTHING. She just doesn’t want to show off.

  41. Slinx

    The last time Sal skated, Marcie lost her voice.

  42. DSL

    Don’t exactly get the love for a character who went out of her way to provoke another and keeps pushing the button when the desired result is not achieved.

    1. Arkadi

      Carla is 100% thoroughly hateable. There’s no risk of her exhibiting any redeeming or endearing traits that might lead us to feel bad for hating her. You simply gotta love a character like that.

      Am I making sense? ^^

      1. Crumplepunch

        Maybe you could use smaller words.

        1. Arkadi

          Would that make more sense?

      2. kelticat

        Now watch Willis give her some redeeming qualities or a weakness that makes you feel like a jackass for hating her.

        1. Arkadi

          Pffft. Yeah, right. Good luck with that one ;3

      3. Nono

        Nobody loves Blaine.

        1. Arkadi

          Nobody would love Carla either, if she did the kind of stuff Blaine has done.

  43. Arkadi

    No! Sal! You have failed us :c We were counting on you to put Carla in her place!

  44. Lel

    That’s no cig…
    Carla getting blazed.

  45. Animal

    Gonna tell you a story, that you won’t believe
    But I fell in love last Friday evening
    With the girl I saw on a bar room TV screen
    Well I was just getting ready to get my hat
    When she caught my eye, and I put it back
    And I ordered myself couple of more shots and beers

    The night that I fell in love with a roller derby queen
    around and round, a round and round
    The meanest hunk of woman that anybody ever seen
    Down in the arena

    She was 5 foot 6, two fifteen
    A beach blonde mama with a streak of mean
    She knew how to knuckle and she knew how to scuffle and fight
    And the roller derby program said
    that she was built like a ‘fridgerator with a head
    Her fans called her Tuffy, but all her buddies called her Spike

    The night that I fell in love with a roller derby queen
    around and round, a round and round
    The meanest hunk of woman that anybody ever seen
    Down in the arena

    Well I could not help it, but to fall in love
    With this heavy duty woman I’ve been speaking of
    Things were kinda bad, untill the day she skated into my life
    Well she might be nasty, she might be fat
    But I never met a person who would tell her that
    She’s my bleach blonde bomber, my heavy handed Hackensack sack mama

    The night that I fell in love with a roller derby queen
    around and round, a round and round
    The meanest hunk of woman that anybody ever seen
    Down in the arena

  46. Adork

    Time to read into this and try to guess where this is heading. Accident involving skates, probably the same thing that caused Marcie to lose her voice, at the time Marcie’s voice could have been saved if they had the money, Sal tries to rob a store to get the money.
    … That’s way too soap operay for me. Forget I said that.

  47. John

    The way Sal’s head obscures the lettering above the door makes it look like she lives in ROCK HOUSE.

  48. A

    “Butt taco” should be a main character poll option.

  49. shammers

    daaaamn. sal does not give two shits

  50. Jay

    I learnt on blades so I wouldn’t know but aren’t 4 wheel skates really easy to learn? (As in not really anything to brag about) O.o

  51. kkiten

    “some kind of stigmatizing animal” may be the greatest insult ever

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