273

Calls
Posted on February 2, 2015 by David M Willis

273 thoughts on “Calls”

  1. Jen Aside

    “Hi, is Sydney there?”
    “Uh, you have the wrong number.”
    “Oh… sorry.”

    [/if this is like 90% of my phone calls b/c Sydney can’t be buggered to tell people her new #]

    …THEN
    *Cubedad*

    1. Doctor_Who

      “Hello, Sydney. What’s your favorite scary mo-”
      “Wrong number, dude.”
      “Fuck.”

      1. L33tmaster

        APROVED

    2. tyersome

      Could be worse … … I have this friend, who inherited the phone number of a liquor store that was apparently very popular, particularly late at night …

      1. Solenoid

        Is this friend you?

        1. tyersome

          … … maaayyybeee …..

        2. Dreadhawk177

          What’s the number?

        3. tyersome

          Fortunately I … I mean my friend … has moved on from that cursed number … people kept calling for the whole year …. my friend … had it though!

        4. Leorale

          My folks were one number away from an all-night pizza joint. Sometimes we’d just take their orders and say that if it’s not there in 30mins it’s free. Helping!

        5. Kryss LaBryn

          We used to be one digit off M-OVIE (back when you didn’t even have to dial the whole prefix, let alone the area code) and we’d regularly get people trying to get the recording of what was playing that week at the local theatre.

          Once number I had I kept getting calls for someone called Jennifer. One day when I told a caller she didn’t live there he responded with, “Really? Because she just gave me this number last week.”

          “Really? Well, could you please do me a favour when you do track her down and tell her to stop? Because I’m sick of getting her wrong numbers; we’ve had this number for over a year!”

          “Really? Oh wow, yeah, sure.”

          And I guess he did because we never got a wrong number for her again.

      2. brionl

        Before I convinced my boss to lock his phone, he used to butt-dial me from clubs & parties at all hours of the morning. I had to let it go to voicemail and play it back for him at work.

        1. tyersome

          Bummer, butt it sounds like you pulled the right answer out of … {never mind}

        2. Halloween Jack

          Holy crap, the potential for blackmail material.

      3. Coren

        Same problem, except substitute calls for texts and alcohol with drugs. I even got calls from bail bondsmen for whoever this was. (And i’d had the # for 4 years at that point…)

      4. WaytoomanyUIDs

        Back when telephone directories were a thing, I had a number similar to the local CID. And the idiots misprinted the CID’s number as mine.

      5. neeks

        My phone number is identical to that of a female physical therapist, only the area codes are different. Every now and then I get people calling to make an appointment. one time it was an obscene phone call and i’m still not sure if it was a wrong number.

      6. Les

        Back in the days of home phones (showing my age here), our number was one digit off from a State Farm agent’s. Used to get phone calls for him in the middle of the night from people who’d gotten in wrecks (and were frequently less than totally sober). Nowadays everybody has an (800) number for dealing with those calls.

      7. Toes14

        I inherited the phone number of a deadbeat who was behind or skipped out on lots of debt. We got frequent collection calls for him for several years before they finally tapered off.

        The worst part was that the dumb collectors couldn’t understand or didn’t believe that we had no connection to the guy, and kept trying to badger us for information about how to contact him. I even had one tell me that I had to have bought my house from him because the land line number stays with the house!

    3. cesium133

      “Oh. Well if you somehow run into Sydney, let her know we gave her the wrong time for Robin and Leslie’s wedding.”

      1. StClair

        Nice.

    4. S'toon

      My phone number’s one digit off from a restaurant. Those are the calls I get.

    5. segnosaur

      Reminds me of the movie Ruthless People….
      Ring Ring…
      “She can’t come to the phone because she has my dick in her mouth”
      Hangs up phone…
      “I love wrong numbers”

      1. anonymsly

        That is an amazing movie and you are my new friend.

        *wailing* “I’ve been kidnapped by K-MAAAAAAART!”

    6. grantimusmaximus

      Apparently, my phone number is close to a Best Buy’s Geek Squad number, so I get calls for Geek Squad constantly.

      1. Badeyes

        I’d say dispense bad advise but they’d get that with the real number.

      2. gwalla

        “Have you tried turning it off and turning it on again?” *hang up*

    7. Daibhid C

      A few years back, my niece upgraded her phone, and since her old one was an upgrade to mine, she asked if I wanted it. Did you know teenage girls text a lot? And can’t remember simple things like “That’s not my number any more”, which she says she definitely told them?

      1. Jostikas

        Um… did you know you can just change the SIM cards and keep the number with the new phone? I’ve had the same number for 10 years and 5 phones now.

    8. chisci

      i inherited the number of some inept businessman who happens to be my uncle. it’s been SEVEN YEARS and I still occasionally get calls looking for him cos the dude kept on giving presentation cards with my number on them and couldn’t be assed to update them. These past couple years I’ve only gotten a handful of calls tho so I guess it’s finally over, whether he ran out of cards or gullible clients ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    9. Brady Kj

      I have the same situation with a Travis. Apparently Travis is very popular with people who haven’t called him in two years.

      1. Jen Aside

        Well, I know this person’s father died, the person has had some kind of surgery, and apparently tutors but couldn’t be buggered to tell the kid the correct number…???

  2. Kk

    According to my roomie, the “Oh, no” I just let out sounded just like Baymax

    1. The_Bionic_Doctor

      Baymax: my favorite character ever! I am satisfied with his care

      1. Crazy Dina

        No! Don’t say that! He’ll deactivate on you!
        Also, my favorite is Go-Go. EPIC skates. Unfortunately for me, I’m more of a Honey Lemon.

        1. Jen Aside

          haaaaairy baby

        2. Crazy Dina

          We jumped out a wiiiiindoooow!

  3. Idon'tcarenomore

    Ah and the phone rings, the shoe drops, and Walky sits down.

    1. saltchocolate

      Not necessarily in that order.

    2. Pyynk

      Suddenly, a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.”

  4. advancecasette

    I’m sick of this fear-mongering anti-phone polemic willis has disguised as a charming college tale

    1. Trevor

      Down with phones. When the revolution comes, you’ll be the first to not have a phone or whatever.

      1. Rycan

        When the day f reckoning comes, the cell towers will fall!

        1. harodotus

          When the day comes, you won’t get word and will miss it.

          ‘Cause, Duh! You got no phones…

        2. Rycan

          The day of reckoning has encountered logistical difficulties.

  5. Mr K

    “Joyce, this is Kaitlin. Quit stealing my GF”

    1. Yotomoe

      “Maybe if you weren’t such a B-word”

    2. Kris

      “Don’t get mad at me because she decided to trade up. Oh, and we totally slept together last night.” CLICK!

    3. Halloween Jack

      “You broke it, you pay for it.” *micdrop*

      1. Crazy Dina

        But that was a particularly expensive Mike!

        1. Pilgrim

          A nickel?

        2. Crazy Dina

          Your mom.

  6. Plasma Mongoose

    And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for Becky.

    1. tyersome

      That has a familiar ring to it …

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        It sure does.

        1. Solenoid

          You really have the best comments. This isn’t really my opinion, it’s just fact.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Kiitii ^_^ I have my moments.

        3. Screwball

          *Pokes net a bit* Didn’t sound like Metallica’s lyrics, but felt related…

          *Pokes net more* Ah, here we go. Is this the right info?

      2. Riku

        It bares similarity to a Metallica song

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Ruth already had the Enter The Sandman ringtone.

    2. Willoughby Chase

      No one is an island.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I’m more of an atoll myself. ^_^

    3. Tenn

      So you’re the murderer?

      #CommentsThatWon’tMakeSenseInTheFuture

      1. Crazy Dina

        #CommentsThatDon’tMakeSenseNow

        1. tyersome

          #CommentsThatCouldn’tMakeCentsIfMikeGaveThemANickle?

        2. Crazy Dina

          #CommentsThatGetCuttOffByTheEdgeOfThePage

  7. Doctor_Who

    That’s just Mike, calling to let them know he already knows everything, but had to skip lunch because he has an appointment with their moms.

    1. Yotomoe

      He skipped lunch because they gave him all the nourishment he needed.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        But then we find out in a future strip that Mike is bulimic…

        1. tyersome

          Why did you have to bring that up? …
          …
          … I have to admit it works really well …

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          My mind like God works in mysterious ways. 😛

        3. tyersome

          Wretch, how darest thou’ liken thyself to the lord 😉

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          If it turns out that God exists, then I’m going to be frying for so many other things anyhow.

        5. tyersome

          Sorry, I just can’t help continuing to spew out puns … I guess someone is going to have to gag me …

          Well I don’t know if this is good news or bad news … but you would have me for company … when I was younger and more obnoxious, I’d frequently respond to almost any display of religiosity with some blasphemy, wait a beat and then say something like “see, no lightning, your god is a delusion”

        6. Crazy Dina

          Hey, ALL the best people are going to burn. Maybe those Westbro people are right – we’re going to hell. And it’s going to be one hot party! (So, whose bringing the chips?)

  8. Khaner

    Her ringtone is not “I Kissed A Girl?” You really messed up.

    1. Yotomoe

      As if Joyce doesn’t think that song and the singer there-of are a sin.

      1. lejwocky

        ‘It’s a sin’ by PSB would also be appropriate

      2. Riku

        I don’t know, Katy Perry used to be a gospel singer and her parents are pastors as I recall. She can’t be that of sin, can she?

        1. Khaner

          Have you heard Dark Horse? Having a song that bad must be a sin.
          “Thou shalt not write shit music.”

        2. Yotomoe

          Does that make Iggy Azalea the devil herself?

        3. Khaner

          Yes.

        4. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          No, that would be Justin Bieber.

        5. chisci

          there are millions of demons scattered through hell, inflicting pain and misery to the millions of souls unfortunate enough not to have a moral compass in life, and also lgbt people cos god is kind of like that yknow. in a throne above them all is lucifer, or satan, the devil, commanding and directing his minions only for his amusement. this has been his kingdom, his rule, for longer than any god could have wanted, and more and more souls kept coming to him -some even unaware that the god they claimed to worship had abandoned their sect eras ago!

          however, lucifer could sense something was amiss. recently, very recently, so recently mortals could probably perceive it, there had been souls arriving whose very essense was so deeply crooked that not even his own personal torment could break them. because the gods they worshiped were not his old rival yahweh, despite their claims, but a group of idols commiting the most heinous crimes of soulless, uninspired art, cultural genocide, general douchebaggery, all on top of skewed moral compasses and a ruthless thirst for money. he’d believe they were his very children if not for how friendly some of them were to yahweh and their crew. and sometimes, when a particularly rabid soul caused disturbs in his kingdom claiming that as long as it loved his baby boyfriend they’d be one less lonely soul, he feared that perhaps his fire was going soft, or that his fists were getting cold, or that his time was running short.

          because one day, the idols would come to meet him.

          and first things first the only thing worse than hell, is hell being taken over by an oh so fancy storm they weren’t ready for.

        6. No Name

          I have to comment on this, and yet I don’t know what to say. Everything I can think of falls flat (curse this world of hyperbole!). So I’ll think I’ll content myself with a simple +1 internet, followed by a slowclap.

        7. tyersome

          Have you met any preachers kids? In my admittedly small sample, more than a few of them were significantly more out of control than their peers …

        8. Kryss LaBryn

          In comic, Ryan is certainly a good example of that. :/

          IRL, a good counter example is Marc Emery‘s son rebels against his dad by avoiding drugs and getting good grades.

        9. Roborat

          Yes, that was one of my observations when I went off to university. The wildest girls were preachers daughters. Get them out from under their parents control and they went nuts.

        10. Rycan

          That doesn’t earn you any points, given how prone Christians are to infighting.

        11. gwalla

          They soured on her pretty much as soon as “I Kissed A Girl” came out. One fundie recently accused her of promoting a Satanic LGBT agenda with her Super Bowl halftime show.

        12. sps48

          There are YouTube clips seriously “explaining” how she it an Illuminati. Illuminatus?

        13. Crazy Dina

          … I wasn’t aware there were enough Satans to have a satanic LGBT agenda. I always thought there was just one guy. I also wasn’t aware our binary genders applied to them.

      3. John

        She has actually recently determined that they might not be.

        1. Yotomoe

          Not recent enough for her to change her ringtone to reflect such.

        2. John

          Becky did it yesterday after she decided to make her move.

    2. Willoughby Chase

      I thought Joyce would be into the son of a preacherman …

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dp4339EbVn8

      1. neeks

        Eeeh you’d think, but after one very nearly assaulted her I think she’s a bit soured on the concept.

      2. Screwball

        Yeah,, I’m with Neeks here sorry. Last time she met the son of a Preacher Man, it turned out rather bad for Joyce since the guy tried to date-rape her without the date part. It’s also been shown it’s still haunting her, so I doubt she’ll have anything to do with that song…

        1. neeks

          Besides probably get triggered by the muzak of it in an elevator.

    3. Screwball

      Her ringtone is not “I Kissed A Girl?” You really messed up..

      I don’t know, it does appear to be on silent right now, she could have done that yesterday when she realized what the lyrics were actually saying. I know I don’t always listen to the lyrics & enjoy a song for it’s tune, only to cause embarrassment later…

  9. Taigan

    Oh, THAT’s what the screening calls was about.

    1. OrtyBortorty

      What screening calls?

      1. Architex

        Becky’s constant use of Joyce’s phone, as noted earlier by Sarah.

      2. Argon

        Becky had Joyce’s phone for most of yesterday. She was playing Angry Birds and making sure Cubedad didn’t call Joyce

  10. saltchocolate

    Will Joyce lie? Can Joyce lie??

    1. Emperor Kiva

      No

    2. Yotomoe

      She’s pretty good at lying to herself.

      1. tyersome

        Pretty good? If I didn’t know myself better I’d say she was a world champion …

        1. Mr K

          Nah, That’s Ethan’s award.

        2. That Damn Rat

          Well, they have been competing in the doubles delusion tournament so they both win. (And both lose in a way).

      2. saltchocolate

        Ooo. +1.

    3. Solenoid

      All she has to do is ignore the call. For now, anyway.

    4. No Name

      She doesn’t have to. Observe:
      “Hello? Oh, hello Mr. MacIntyre. Becky? No, I don’t know where she is right now. Did I what? Oh yes, she told me last night. Don’t worry, I shut her down and she ran off. Poor girl. Good bye.”
      It’s all true. The question is, can she pull this off? We’ll find out tomorrow.

      1. Leorale

        My money is on Joyce being unable to lie well. Maybe the slacker or the future politician over there could help her out, but I don’t know how they’d get into the conversation.

  11. Emperor Kiva

    Oh Hell

  12. Spencer

    Oh no.

    Oh noooooo.

    1. Emperor Kiva

      * Kool-aide Man busts through the wall*
      OH YEEEAAAAAH!

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Then the Kool-aide Man takes off his mascot head revealing herself as Becky.

  13. Yotomoe

    Why? I blurt out my sexuality all the time.
    I’m into girls. Girls are great. They got Boobs, hips and great butts and kissable lips.
    Step your game up, males.

    1. Carriethedragon

      Are you suggesting that men ought to talk about their sexual attractions MORE often? Cause I’m really okay with that not happening.

      1. Khaner

        Word

      2. Sherlock9

        I second this motion. In the interest of disclosure and clarification, I am a straight guy, and I think this would suck for everyone involved.

      3. Solenoid

        Quality over quantity. Don’t say it more, guys, say it in a better, less obnoxious, and less intrusive way. And when the people around are receptive to hearing it. That part’s important.

        1. Tenn

          “HOT HOT SEXXENGS!!!” <- How not to say it.

      4. Riku

        I’m pretty sure “step your game up, males” was a challenge to males to have boobs, hips and great butts and kissable lips as opposed to a challenge to males to blurt out their sexuality more often.

        1. Yotomoe

          Winner Winner Chicken Dinner.

        2. Carriethedragon

          Ooooohhh okay.

        3. Solenoid

          In hindsight, considering Yotomoe, that really ought to have been the first interpretation we jumped to.

        4. Yotomoe

          It should’ve. I’m very dissapointed in all of you.

    2. Marianne

      I know you were hoping more for male support but since none have chimed in (at least assuming nobody’s commented since I loaded the page), I’ll be the first to support your position – I like girls too! We are curvy, soft, and by far the hottest gender 😀

      1. Carriethedragon

        Nothing wrong with that. I didn’t mean to attack Yotomoe in any way, I just wasn’t quite sure what he meant.

        1. Marianne

          When I’d loaded the page, there were no replies to him at all. I assumed his comment was meant in a silly tone (as most of his seem to be, from what I’ve seen), and responded in the same sort of way 🙂 I’m only awake right now because of waking from the most horrifically disturbing nightmare, so trying to stay in a lighter mood was helpful. It even managed to be horrific despite involving girl nudity D:

        2. Riku

          I don’t know why I assumed Yotome is a girl. Sorry ’bout that

        3. Yotomoe

          Well I am cute as shit. And I have boobs! But that’s more of a health issue…
          (I get mistaken for a girl all the time (Even IRL). I’m pretty chill about it.)

      2. Yotomoe

        Right? I don’t understand how everyone isn’t lesbians. Sheesh. I don’t get the appeal of dudes.

        1. Marianne

          I know, you get to like girls and you get to be girls! You’ve got to have rolled some pretty high stats before birth to game the system that much. I could’ve done better on constitution, though.

        2. Tandel

          That’s mostly due to insufficient exposure to James Deen.

    3. newllend

      Don’t forget those southing voices and crystal eyes.

      1. Opus the Poet

        Hey, they don’t all sound like Sal. Or look like Dina.

      2. BanHammor

        *dysphoria intensifies*

      3. Yotomoe

        Crystal eyes sounds cool as shit.

      4. Kryss LaBryn

        I prefer northing voices, myself.

    4. Plasma Mongoose

      Straight guys really need to spend some time IN the closet so they can visit Narnia.

      1. John

        Since the bus to Narnia has apparently stopped running…

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Not too many people would be willing to travel in a bus covered in sticky white fluid.

        2. tyersome

          But, sometimes the only thing that will come for you is pubic transit …

    5. Dorje Sylas

      There is some mutual exclusivity there. Boobs and butt maybe, but with those the hips kinda go away and get replaced with gutts.

      1. Yotomoe

        Lady guts are still better than man guts.

  14. Rodimiss

    Oh no. Oh no oh no.

    And I’d say that with Dorothy now knowing that Becky, Joyce’s bff, is a lesbian, she can put together the clues she got in yesterdays strip, except this new issue of “Becky is a runaway” is kind of shoving what Joyce was trying to say out of the spotlight.

    1. Solenoid

      Aye. Priorities tend to do that.

    2. The_Bionic_Doctor

      If Dotty were Mike, she would answer the phone, sell out Becky to her horrible Dursley father, and immediately turn back to Joyce and ask “well, that’s settled then. so what was it about changing a gay boyfriend?”

      1. No Name

        Whatever Mike is, it’s not evil. He would never sell a person to those who would hurt them, especially since all he wants is for Ethan to stop being such a pussy. Also, he likes Becky.

        1. Gigafreak

          He does?

        2. No Name

          I certainly thought so, but come on, he said that before he knew her (in any sense of the word), and it seems he’s changed his tune since.

  15. Magnaz

    “God is watching Ruth!”
    “It’s Joyce.”
    “Oh I’m sorry. It’s me Mary.”

    1. neeks

      Nah, Mary would never apologize for a wrong number. She’d just assume the person she accidentally called deserved a guilt trip too. So it’d be like

      “God is watching, Ruth!”
      “This is Joyce, Mary.”
      “Well, he’s watching you too!”

  16. Taigan

    Also, ha-ha on the alt-text.

    1. Taigan

      Also, ha-ha on the alt-text.

      1. Taigan

        Also, ha-ha on the alt-text.

        1. Taigan

          Also, ha-ha on the alt-text.

        2. Emperor Kiva

          WTF is with the same post over and over?

        3. Taigan

          If you got the alt text joke, you’d get it.

        4. Pantheon the Mantheon

          Damnit….. *begins furious internet research to understand the alt text joke.* I alwats knew my damnable social life would somehow put me at a disadvantage against the rest of the world. I’ll be back, though.

        5. Tony

          Today’s date, in the form of a movie title. That is a clue to understanding the joke.

        6. brionl

          Hint: What holiday is the first monday in February?

        7. No Name

          Actually brionl, Groundhog Day isn’t tied to a day of the week like MLKJ or Presidents’ Day. It’s consistently the second day of February

        8. Kelly

          I don’t get it.

        9. StClair

          Very consistently, for at least one person.

        10. StClair

          (tree fail, again)

        11. Screwball

          Tempted to say “Nicely done, now here’s you’re toaster…

          …And don’t drive angry…”

        12. Kartewns

          you mustve really enjoyed it

        13. Mandy

          A+++

        14. The_Bionic_Doctor

          nice!

        15. Ed

          Nicely played.

  17. Solenoid

    Ring ring, Bad News calling!

  18. HurricaneMyles

    “I got you, babe.
    2/2
    2/2
    2/2
    I got you, babe.”

    Is that the joke?

    1. Taigan

      It’s from the movie “Groundhog Day.”

      1. OrtyBortorty

        Is it groundhog day or something? Or is this the day the movie game out?

        1. Mandy

          February 2nd is Groundhog Day!

        2. OrtyBortorty

          Is your profile picture from a webcomic?

        3. neeks

          Yeah, that’s May from Questionable Content.

        4. Björn

          In “Groundhog day”, Bill Murray is stuck in time and has to relive February 2nd over and over and over. I believe “I got you babe” is the song that plays on the radio when it wakes him up every morning.

      2. tyersome

        I was trying to figure out how Sonny and Cher fit into this … now I’m really confused …

      3. Emperor Kiva

        DAMMIT, I SHOULD’VE KNOWN!!!!!!!

  19. Sherlock9

    This is going to be good. Or bad. There should be an adjective where things get really bad and then they are resolved, if not completely dealt with.

    …

    This is going to be Willis.

    1. Kk

      That is pretty much the best way to put it

    2. The_Bionic_Doctor

      yes, “Willis” should totaly be the new “strawman” (or “jump the shark”): “Damn [you] Willis!” – “this pizza is totally Willis” – “This is so willis” – Willis Willis Willis”

      1. neeks

        This is so Willis, it’s Willis Mackintire!

        (I feel like I really screwed up the spelling on the last name)

        1. Kryss LaBryn

          “Somebody shouted MacIntyre…” “MACINTYRE!“

  20. Em

    I don’t think Joyce is capable of lying without stuttering and breaking down, so I think she will probably either a)ignore it if she recognizes the number as Becky’s Dad’s, b) hang up when it’s Becky’s Dad.

    If it’s HER parents though…Well she stood up to them about Dorothy. Maybe she can stand up to them about Becky.

    1. tyersome

      Or be smart and get Dorothy to answer the phone?

      1. Bagge

        “Hello, miss Brown, I’m sorry but Joyce is not availab… Yes, it is indeed the atheist ‘friend’ of your daughter who most likely try to tempt her to hell… I can truthfully inform you that Becky is not here… No the fact that your daughter is not answering the phone is not proof that she is… We are not in fact i the middle of a devil-worshopping lesbian orgy… Please, believe me when I say there is no need for you to tell her father to come here”…

        Crud. That went well.

        1. tyersome

          Crap … I was assuming it would be the Toe … but this is Willis land where Murphy’s Law really does seem to rule (more than usual) …

    2. sithknightgalen

      Heh, you’d be surprised how amazing stuttering, breaking down, and babbling incoherently before mindlessly hanging up can work out as a defense mechanism. Then again, since Becky isn’t technically sitting at the table with her, she could always just lie by omission 😛 (amazing how many people consider THAT not to be lying)

      1. Screwball

        It’s not lieing, you are telling the truth, just not telling the full truth. Yes, Becky is not there. She’s staying there, but she’s not there right now…

  21. OrtyBortorty

    Nooo Dorothy isn’t going to realize Ethan is gay what is this

    1. newllend

      No no we need a bigger stage than this,on kind Of similar to when Joyce had that scene with her parents.

  22. newllend

    Way too Jinx it Dorothy.

    1. Mr K

      She should Mr Mime it instead.

      1. democraticMayonaise

        Used Lovely Kiss!
        Used Sweet Kiss!
        Arcanine is confused!
        Arcanine was hurt by confuision!
        Arcanine fainted!

        arcanine is just an example but yeah that was really annoying Lorelei

      2. Gigafreak

        No, let’s not Mr. Mime it.

        1. democraticMayonaise

          We should Green Egg And Ham It.

  23. Stephen Bierce

    *plays New Edition’s “Mister Telephone Man” on the Muzak*

  24. Catandmouse

    Haha way to go

  25. Reflex76

    Gee, I wonder who that is on the phone.

  26. Stephen Bierce

    Check it out

  27. Keroshino

    oh dear…this isn’t gonna end well.

  28. sithknightgalen

    Couldn’t work any worse than Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” as an apt ringtone at this point….

  29. GoogerGeiger

    Can that be Danny’s silhouette in the background?

    1. Azukar

      You beat me to it!

  30. zmm

    haah screen your own phone please!

  31. zmm

    haah screen your own phone please!
    OR TAKE A BIG BITE ANSWER IT AND SPEAK IN FOOD-IN-MOUTH LANGUAGE.

  32. zmm

    Ohnoes If thats her dad or your parents, screen your own phone please!
    OR TAKE A BIG BITE ANSWER IT AND SPEAK IN FOOD-IN-MOUTH LANGUAGE.

    1. zmm

      huhm.. I seem to have spawned my message in various stages. oh dear

  33. Well_Played

    I wonder what’s going to happen when Becky finds out about Joyce and Ethan’s situation.

  34. Liz

    Unless the phone call IS Becky, to tell her that, while wandering alone, her father found her.

    1. a4lbi

      *cringes more* nuuuuuuu

      1. Bagge

        Noooooooooooooooooooooooo

    2. Paul

      Becky doesn’t have a phone of her own, does she?

      1. neeks

        I wouldn’t be shocked to learn her father had confiscated it.

      2. Gigafreak

        She doesn’t, no.
        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/sarcasm/

        1. Screwball

          Ah, but are there payphones…?

          …Alright, more importantly, WORKING payphones…?

          With no mobile to call her own, she’s possibly memorized Joyce’s number…

  35. a4lbi

    *cringe*

  36. Bagge

    I had hoped they would have time enough to make up a strategy before the parents came calling.

    1. The_Bionic_Doctor

      This is Willis we are talking about. I confess I’m relieved Mary hasn’t yet called the Dean to report on multiple Lesbian orgies on her floor, all of them involving red heads, secret lesbian babies, and perverse sexual lust

  37. grantimusmaximus

    This plot’s so think you need a bread hook to move it.

    1. tyersome

      Hey, the Willis is clearly not one to loaf around. He kneads dough, so the plot will be moved …

      1. grantimusmaximus

        At yeast he spreads the drama out with some Joe hijinks. It’s butter to pace yourself.

        1. tyersome

          I agree, we who dine on the crumbs from his table should be sinserely toasting him …

          … I really hoped to jam some more puns in here, but I crust you’ll rise to the occasion.

        2. grantimusmaximus

          Doughn’t count on it too much. I often fail to say the rye’t thing.

        3. tyersome

          At risk of sounding corny, if not oat right floury, I’d say your contribution was pretty swheat … funny the website doesn’t think I spelt that right …

        4. grantimusmaximus

          Thanks. I appreciate anyone who’s willing to go against the grain for a good pun.

        5. tyersome

          Well, I’ve gone to seed a bit, but its all grist for the mill 🙂

        6. Gigafreak

          These puns are worthy of celebration. A toast to your health, good sirs and/or madams.

        7. Crazy Dina

          I seed what you did there. It’s good sesame. Not bad, but good.

  38. The Wizard

    Joyce, setting herself I’ll since forever.

  39. Adam Black

    This is a Job for ….. “Amazi-Girl” .

    Seriously, she is going to kick the shit out Beckys Dad when he shows up!
    ( Search your hearts, you know it is true )
    Talk bout Triggers.

    1. Rycan

      I hope not. I doubt he would lie to the police afterwards.

    2. The_Bionic_Doctor

      Crud, reading “amazigirl” and “dad” in a comment related to Becky automatically conjured to my mind the all-time supervilan team composed of Blain, Becky’s father, and Ethan’s and Sal’s moms. The four of them meet in secret every monday eveing and plot the downfall of their kids’ psyche

      1. democraticMayonaise

        *deathly silence*
        *daydreams fight scene in which sal and amazigirl begrudgingly fight together while ethan and becky screw with their parents psycolgically with bad puns and fart jokes*

        1. Gigafreak

          “Did you think we wouldn’t smell something fishy about all this!?”
          “That’s just the smell of all the pussy that Becky’s been getting.”

  40. Rachael

    I finally caught up! Goddamnit, now I have to WAIT to read instead of just bingeing for hours on end. 🙁

    1. Screwball

      Welcome to the present, enjoy your stay, you may join the others in the Waiting Lounge. The “Damn You Willis!” shouting comp is held in the gardens to the rear, starting several minutes after a posted comic. Puns are served regularly, so please stay & enjoy…

      1. Crazy Dina

        HEY! Why wasn’t I told about the shouting camp?

        Also, is there automated lightning in the gardens?

  41. Sarah

    Is that Danny in the background of the second panel? I looks like him

  42. Mkvenner

    Well the midden has hit the windmill.

  43. The King of Gingers

    Jeez, just let it go to voicemail. You’re a busy girl in college, you can’t answer your phone all the time.

  44. Arikel

    When it rains…

    1. The King of Gingers

      …things smell nice?

  45. Kaunisenkeli

    And in with the pain. WIL~LISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! [/WoK reference]

  46. Zaxares

    Joyce, you fool! That’s like saying, “This is going really well!” when on a delicate/dangerous mission. >.>

  47. Bagge

    Wow, there are four panels of them talking calmly and rationally and explaining the situation without drama or missunderstandings or stupid jokes. OF COURSE Joyce phone had to put an end to that.

    Walky has still to make at single joke at Joyce’s expense. Big sister’s lesson is still fresh i mind.

  48. DarkoNeko

    *doom doom doom*

    1. neeks

      I knew a guy who had that for his ringtone. (From invader zim)

      1. Crazy Dina

        O.O Do you still know him? Can you tell me where to get the audio file from? If he has to email me, All.Hail.Dina@gmail.com is an acceptable address!

        1. neeks

          Sorry, we’re not really in touch anymore. You could probably Google “invader zim doom song free ringtone” and find something, though. That’s how I got the nyan cat ringtone.

  49. Regalli

    Well, FUCK. Of course it picks the most dramatic moment.

  50. Sweetlupeprincess

    I think Joyce will be smart enough to not answer her phone, and if she does decide to answer it she will likely make Dorothy or Walky do it and have them say she’s studying hard for an exam down at the library or something so that Joyce wont be the one lying.

  51. Chris

    WHY ISN’T THE RINGTONE SUNNY AND CHER GODDAMIT WILLIS.

    First you take away Shortpacked. Now you don’t make Groundhogs Day references.

    YOU ARE THE SPAWN OF SATAN.

  52. itachi_0501

    LOVE the alt-text! Today happens to be my Mom’s birthday, as well, so…that would have been a much better present to offer her, Dave, than wrapping up Shortpacked! 😐

  53. Bagge

    Seriously, I’m impressed by Walky. Without any teasing or smartassery whatsoever he helps Joyce up from the pit she dug for herself last strip and turned the conversation into the four most constructive panels we have had since forever. Big Sis really made an impression.

    I’m impressed by Dorothy’s immediate support too, but that goes without saying.

  54. Boomwolf

    I’m sure thats just her parents just calling to tell her that they’re also learning to interact with those who don’t share their beliefs.

    1. Bagge

      “Hello beloved daughter. We heard from Ross how he disowned his own child and we think that is wrong and an affront to the Lord, so we wanted to see if you have heard from Becky. We want to help her and care from her since her own parents don’t the work they should.

      Oh, also, we love you and respect your choice of friends regardless of sexual orientation and faith (even that atheist one) and in an unrelated note are also totally onboard with your sister’s gender identity”

      #RoseColoredGlasses
      #EvenIfItSoundsLikeATrap

      1. Spencer

        My secret hope for this arc is that the Browns come to support Becky and offer to help however they can, eventually realizing that it’s more important to follow the spirit of the Bible rather than the written word.

        Also Amber reconciles her identity issues, Billie and Ruth decide to quit alcohol and get therapy, Ethan accepts his sexuality, and Dorothy then completes a successful bid or presidency.

        1. Very Good Karma

          All in THIS arc, huh? Wow, things sure are gonna have to get crazy fast. Maybe Dorothy becomes student body president?

  55. Tenn

    And the hover text joke went whoosh above the heads of most non-Americans. (The movie taught us that Groundhog Day exists, but I don’t think a lot of us remember the date. I didn’t even remember that it was in February.)

    1. Ashley

      Ooooohhh, I get it now. I’m Mexican and I’ve seen GD but only once.

  56. man in black

    You just had to say it

  57. Caffieanted

    Popcorn! Get your Popcorn here!

    1. Crazy Dina

      I’ll take some!

  58. 0kami

    I’m imagining a re-enacting of this strip, albeit with differing characters.

    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/incoming/

    1. Eric

      Clicking back and reading a few strips forward, I just noticed what Willis was doing with Amber/Amazi-Girl’s text bubbles, fading from black to white as she changed her persona. That was awesome.

  59. Canadian Doktor

    FINALLY!! after 5-6 weeks of reading from the start i’ve caught up to the current strip! aww yeah!

  60. Lord Geovanni

    The Code Lyoko theme was my ring tone but now its the 1st Jo-Jo’s bizzare adventure’s theme song becasue it oozes manlyness in a total no homo way

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