163

Carnivore
Posted on July 19, 2015 by David M Willis

163 thoughts on “Carnivore”

  1. Jen Aside

    admittedly not who I expected to be walking with Dina as per the title

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I still believe this chapter needs more David Attenborough.

      1. JessWitt

        and Richard Attenborough *sniff*

      2. Doctor_Who

        Nah, it should be narrated by Richard Kiley.

        (Spared no expense.)

    2. ClaudeWicked

      Hooray Jen is alive~~~

      1. Clif

        What gave it away?

        1. Opus the Poet

          No Litch Me appearing from a glowing hole in reality.

        2. thebombzen

          It wasn’t a post by Jen about how she missed her other posts, so that’s cool.

        3. Jen Aside

          I can’t have a celebratory sushi-induced coma once in a while can I =|

          [I got paid woo]

  2. otusasio451

    Cue Kenneth Branagh narration!

    1. Chinoy Industries, Ltd.

      Please no. Two doses of Hamlet in high school English classes have instilled in me an instinctive hatred of Kenneth Branagh.

      1. StClair

        Seeing him play Gilderoy Lockhart will also do that.

        1. Bagge

          Seeing Gilderoy Lockheart play Shakespeare would make it all worth it

        2. Yet_One_More_Idiot

          Everyone knows Shakespeare was a wizard. No muggle could’ve ever written stage plays that were that… magical!

        3. Yossarian Duck

          Anti-Stratfordian, Pro-Hogsmeadean.

        4. Lurlock

          Could be worse – there was his role in Wild Wild West…

      2. otusasio451

        I get that. But, since he narrated all of the “Walking with …” specials, his voice has always instilled me with a deep sense of nostalgia. Plus, he was in “The Road to El Dorado.” Childhood doubledown.

    2. DSL

      Liked KenBran is “Henry V,” though I eventually came to wonder why he was presented as a hero. (“I invaded your country! Stop picking on me!”)

      1. DSL

        “in” Henry V, dammit.

        1. Les

          Well technically he was Henry V…

        2. Yet_One_More_Idiot

          “Liked Kenneth Branagh AS Henry V” maybe? 🙂

      2. Historyman68

        KenBran is the name for when Kenneth Branagh dates himself.

      3. Historyman68

        Though I guess it would probably be more like KenKen or BranBran

        1. Kitanin

          I’d stick with KenKen. BranBran sounds like a healthy snack from the chewing gum industry. “The BranBran with FibreFibre!”

  3. Plasma Mongoose

    What she needs is the dinosaur hoodie equivalent of a bloodhound.

    1. saki

      I would suggest a velociraptor hoodie if it weren’t for the fact that all I know about them comes from the Jurassic Park & World movies and that I know the movies are way inaccurate.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        For this mission of hers, a Troodon hoodie would be best as they are smallish but intelligent.

      2. GDwarf

        Real-world Velociraptors were in the same weight class as a cat, though looking much larger due to their long tails and being covered in feathers. They also had a pair of massive claws on their feet.

        So, picture a small-sized, more streamlined, turkey with a long tail and big talons, and you’re in the right ballpark.

        1. saki

          That sounds terrifying.

        2. kelticat

          Even a normal turkey can be terrifying.

        3. saki

          Precisely. Giving it big talons on top of it all is just asking for an paleonto/ornithological horror movie. *shudders*

        4. Tacos

          Yet they’re still delicious.

        5. ninja_jesus

          Their bodies absorb fear, giving it nutrients. And that makes them tastier in the process.

        6. Kamino Neko

          I don’t find turkeys very scary.

          Now, swans…those motherfuckers are terrifying.

        7. Screwball

          Don’t come Down Under then, especially on the West Coast then, they got black ones there. Can get a bit upset too, & a bit agro, especially when you’re only 4 feet tall… O_O

        8. fogel

          Made em the West Australia state symbol, though: what does that say about how WA sees itself?

        9. Les

          I agree. We were on vacation in the Netherlands when my sister was 4 and she apparently wandered too close to a bevy of them (your free encyclopedia word of the day…). Next thing we know she’s running for her life with several of them coming after her (all bigger than her). That happened over 40 years ago and I can still remember how scary those @#$%*s were…

        10. Kamino Neko

          I was 6, and there was only one swan, but that’s the same sort of situation where I learned they were scary. Bastard had wandered up onto the path next to the swan pond, and went nuts when I walked that way.

        11. saki

          My only memorable experience with swans is this one time where I went picnicking by the local lake with some friends and a mother swan wandered onto the beach with her cygnets. Somehow we managed to get real close to them, and I ended up reaching out my hand to pet one of them because they looked so fluffy. Mama-swan didn’t care one bit. But when I tried to get close to any of the other ones she’d get agressive. It was kinda hilarious and kinda sad. If there was only one cygnet she didn’t care if we petted, that would probably mean she didn’t care about that one cygnet and what might happen to it at all. Sad.

          That said, I completely understand that swans can be super aggressive and scary.

        12. saki

          Oops, looks like I didn’t properly close the abbr thingie. XD

        13. fogel

          There are swans at a local lake where I walked my dog. Matilda went off the trail to the edge of the lake. From all the way across tge water one of the swans went swany: it drew a bead on Matilda and came ZOOMING across the lake, flapping, but not fully airborne, roiling the lake with its feet, not exactly running on the water, making a Hella commotion. We backed way off before it arrived.

        14. nightsbridge

          They hunted by jumping on larger prey with their talons and holding on until they died of blood loss.

        15. Kamino Neko

          Even better (where ‘better’ is defined as ‘more horrifying’)…it’s not unlikely that their prey was still alive when they started chowing down.

        16. Marisa Mockery

          Isn’t that how Hammond died in the first book originally? I haven’t read it in a long time, but I do recall he was eaten by small dinosaurs. And he totally deserved it.

        17. Kamino Neko

          It was a group of Procompsignathus that got him.

        18. Marisa Mockery

          * first Jurassic Park book

        19. Sheason

          http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/i-didnt-even-have-a-joke-for-this-week

          wok wok wok wok

        20. Deanatay

          Aw, MAN! You beat me to it!! This is probably EXACTLY what they looked like…

        21. saki

          Okay, if that’s what they looked like I really need to get a time-machine to travel back to their time and take a few as pets. :3

        22. Disloyal Subject

          Read Minnion’s comment first, and know fear.

        23. saki

          Minnion?

        24. saki

          Oh! You mean in the linked comic’s comment section. (I really need to think more before posting things. Damn you, lack of edit button!)

          Okay, but what if I stole them right after they hatch? Then I could raise them like sweet little birdies! 😀

  4. MM

    Aw, c’mon, needing to stay alert for predators has to be good for something, right?

    1. JessWitt

      Raidah strikes me as predatory in her attacks against Sarah. Dina is stepping in to help her fellow herbivore.

    2. kelticat

      And herbivore doesn’t mean helpless and non-threat. Rhinos, cape buffalo, elephants, moose, and bison are all current day herbivores known to attack and/or kill humans….
      Hey Plasma Mongoose, aren’t red kangaroos also dangerous to humans?

      1. saki

        They may all be good at killing humans and other possible threats, but they’re not exactly inconspicuous creatures.

      2. Deanatay

        Think we need another Turnbull link for this one:

        http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/when-herbivores-attack

      3. Screwball

        If I remember right, Hippos were 1 of the biggest killers in Africa…

        Yeah, Kangaroos can be dangerous too, they can kick HARD, & with a claw on the end of their feet for gripping ground, it can do a lot of damage if not careful. Koalas are dangerous too, they got a nasty couple pairs of claws on them too, for climbing trees. And that’s not including Drop Bears, the carnivorous versions…

        THere’s plenty of things Down Under that’ll kill ya. Maybe that’s why I like it so much…

        1. saki

          “Down Under”? Do you mean the Southern hemisphere?

        2. kelticat

          Nope. Australia and sometimes New Zealand are nicknamed Down Under.

        3. saki

          Ah I see. ^^ Thanks. :3

      4. Plasma Mongoose

        @kelticat: Pretty much everything in Australia is trying to kill you one way or another.

      5. Disloyal Subject

        They’re less likely to track and stalk prey, though. Just stay out of their way and they won’t make it their business to end you.

        1. Roborat

          That is just part of their plan, they are trying to lull you into letting your guard down.

  5. Andr3wtime

    Dina is a magical transformation girl, where different outfits provide different powers.

    1. Someone

      Well the 3D rerelease of majoras mask came out recently

      1. ninja_jesus

        So Dina is like Link in Majora’s Mask except using hoodies instead of masks?

        1. Someone

          Well, they both wear green

  6. Captain Batson

    It’ll be okay, Dina.

  7. Kathleen

    Somebody please draw Dina in a feathered raptor suit.

    1. Screwball

      Yes, please, let this happen…

  8. Kernanator

    Then she could really unleash the raptor!

  9. maxyai

    Gotta watch out for those vegetarian hoodies.

  10. Plasma Mongoose

    “Where does she get those wonderful hoodies?”

  11. Just Here

    She should have gotten her vitamin B(ecky) this morning!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Are you sure it isn’t that Becky needs a shot of the Vitamin D(ina).

  12. Plasma Mongoose

    If nothing else, Jacob and Raidah seem to be getting along quite well.

  13. timemonkey

    I’m kinda hoping she gets spotted, and then Raidah says things.

    1. saki

      Because that would mean she’d say them in front of Jacob and then he’d realise she’s not as nice as I assume he must have thought?

      1. Tacos

        Yes.

      2. Chinoy Industries, Ltd.

        YESH.

      3. Jen Aside

        I dunno, there are things a smart person doesn’t say in front of a potential partner that get unleashed before the posse. As the old joke goes, a man wants to tell a dirty joke, prefacing it with, “I see no ladies are present…”

        “Yes, but there IS a gentleman present.”

        So, could go either way. *gets the popcorn either way*

        1. saki

          I would agree if it weren’t for the fact that imo Raidah doesn’t think there was anything wrong with how he behaved towards Dina. Actually, I’m pretty certain she’s sure she acted totally appropratialy, seeing as how she reprimanded her friends for calling Dina a retard. It felt a little like when people say blacks are criminals, but they’re convinced they’re not racists, because they would never use the N word.

        2. Lapin

          This, all of this.
          Raidah never thinks she’s wrong. She assumes Sarah is the reason Dana’s life is ruined, and blames her. She never once takes accountability for the fact that Dana was /seriously/ spiraling and needed /help/, not complacency, and she, as Dana’s friend, was turning a blind eye to Dana’s unhealthy way of coping with her grief. Instead, she blames Sarah. It’s Sarah’s fault Dana was pulled out of school! It’s of course not at all because Dana was depressed and frightened and becoming withdrawn and showing a frightening chemical dependency. Hell, Sarah was probably her only real friend in that moment. She looked out for Dana, and called her dad, because Dana needed help she couldn’t provide and the poor girl certainly wasn’t getting from Raidah or the rest.
          But Raidah can’t acknowledge that. If she does, she has to admit she failed her friend. It’s a lot easier to blame Sarah as a snitch and a bongo than admit to herself she dropped the ball.
          And the way she treated Dina was pretty terrible in itself, even without any of that backstory.

        3. Screwball

          Don’t normally get time to pay attention to the long posts, but I gotta admit, I agree with this one…

    2. kelticat

      Add to that Raidah’s posse showing up and saying things as well. I seem to recall they were really insulting to Dina.

      1. saki

        I would say so.

        1. Screwball

          It all starts about here, with the middle school comment, just after they first bump into Raidah & minions…

      2. Mr. Morningstar

        considering they laughed at her and called her retarded, then yeah I would say that might prove some points.

    3. showler

      I’m thinking her attempts to go unnoticed will make her more noticeable.

  14. saki

    Dina really makes an excellent ninja. *fangirling*

    1. Tualha

      If Dangerous Dina of Monkey Mountain really wants to be inconspicuous, she should walk around with her nose in a book.

    2. NinjaNick

      Agreed.

  15. Tacos

    Ninja Rick would be in awe of Dina here.

  16. Jimmy

    If only she had a Tanuki suit!

    1. Doctor_Who

      Dina: Oh no, she’s coming!

      *BAMF!*

      Raidah: Huh. Who put this statue of a troodon here?

      1. saki

        Would Raidah even know what a troodon is, though?

        1. Doctor_Who

          I assume any statue Dina turns into would come complete with a brass plate identifying the genus and species, as well as information regarding its diet and habitat. She’s very thorough.

        2. saki

          Oh, good point.

  17. Bicycle Bill

    In panel #4 — is there actually a tail on that hoodie?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      No wonder people think of her as a kid if that was the case…

      1. Lapin

        Have you been by a college in recent years? I don’t mean that in a mean way, I just mean…like, a lot of kids/adults in college/that age really like stuff like that hoodie these days. Grabbing some happy where you can is pretty much the typical.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          I have never been to an American college and it has been decades since I was even in high school, so…

        2. ninja_jesus

          Ah. Well yes, to concur with Lapin, a lot of Millenial college kids in America have overwhelmingly brought nerd culture to college, rejecting the long-held notion that growing up means “leaving your childhood/adolescent years behind”.

        3. Abel Undercity

          It’s some consolation to know that I was ahead of my time.

    2. saki

      Yes. 🙂

  18. JessWitt

    (in a low voice): Stalking Jaidah quietly, stalking Jaidah quietly…

    1. kelticat

      who’s Jaidah?

      1. Catullus

        Seems to be a ship name for Jacob/Raidah.

  19. RachelEvil

    Dina just never stops being the best.

  20. AgentKeen

    I don’t know, I think if Dina wore the raptor hoodie, she’d be more likely to release the raptor, and I don’t think that would work well on a stealth mission.

  21. mums the word

    So…. I work with children with disabilities. One of my students will randomly start to stalk like this. Damn you Willis you are too good at hitting reality for people.

  22. Stephen R. Bierce

    This strip gave me an excuse to look up the Luis Cardenas version of Del Shannon’s song “Runaway”…but any excuse is a good excuse. Have some hair-metal dinosaurs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-GxYzbI4lg

    1. TJ Pittsburgh

      How did I not know that this was a thing?! I didn’t realize until now that my life was empty!

      1. Stephen R. Bierce

        And for the next course, The Hoodoo Gurus with “I Want You Back”: https://screen.yahoo.com/want-back-051523939.html

        1. Stephen R. Bierce

          And finally a spin of Screaming Blue Messiahs’ “I Wanna Be a Flintstone”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53baYQPcC4s

    2. Screwball

      Not big on the song itself, but the clip definitely makes up for it…

    3. Kamino Neko

      Well, that was a thing. I’d have saved that concept for a different song, but…it was entertaining.

  23. Saru

    Is that all cereal is to you, Dina? Low-growth vegetation? That cereal took a long time being manufactured for you!

  24. Captain Batson

    Wait… Landes Wing… *checks notes* That’s where Asma lives!

  25. evan

    Kinda scared that Dina’s “always ignored” super powers might only work when she’s not trying to use them 🙁

    1. Hiraku

      I was wondering about that… Maybe Dina should stick with triceratops. At least they’re harmless and no one would suspect a triceratops doing anything bad… not like a raptor.

    2. Darkoneko

      That’s my take on them too 😀

  26. Meebo

    Anyone else have the Mission Impossible theme stuck in their heads?

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Well, I do now.

  27. saki

    Yep. Since yesterday’s alt text. XD

    1. saki

      Woops, that was meant as a reply to Meebo. And double-woops, that was the day before yesterday. I really don’t have a sense for the passing of time. XD

  28. Bagge

    God dammit, Dina. These things are important. Make sure to pack a raptor hoodie next time. And don’t forget a floating device in case of sharks

    1. Disloyal Subject

      I wonder how she feels about sharks, and other non-dinosaur prehistoric creatures.

      1. Bagge

        She at least has a healthy respect for them.

  29. Idon'tcarenomore

    I love DoA, and especially Dina.
    But this is just plain silly.

  30. Boomwolf

    Dame has a point. If you’re gonna hunt, you gotta dress the part.

    As a side note, anyone else think it’s weird I say dame?

    1. Dean

      Not at all. You’re a pulp-era detective, right?

  31. BenRG

    I’m betting that Raidah and Jacob are talking about inconsequential things. Raidah strikes me as the sort whose idea of protracted revenge is to be mean whenever she meets her target and nothing else. I suspect that she is going to be seriously outgunned by Sarah’s desire to get even.

  32. brumagem

    Natural selection, in regard to hoodies.

  33. Kathleen

    jacob seems like the kind of nice guy who would notice Dina.

  34. AtomsOrSystems

    See, Dina gets me. These are the same thoughts that go through my head when I stalk people.

    …I mean, ignore that. I don’t stalk people.

  35. Darkoneko

    No matter what Sarah says, Raider and Jacob really looks like a cute new couple.

    …and, well. Sarah blew anychance at even friendship with Jacob rather spectaculary.

    1. Darkoneko

      I suspect they may get back on talking terms once Jacob catch up on the whole thing but.. nope. you’re not getting in his pants Sarah, sorry.

      1. timemonkey

        She’s not trying to get in his pants anymore.

    2. ClaudeWicked

      I read that as Raynor and Jacob. Starcraft mental images go away.

    3. Bagge

      I Ship them. They’re cute together and have good chemistry

    4. m2iCodeJockey

      A person like Jacob would’t shut a person out. He just wouldn’t pursue her because she has problems to work out that cause HER to shut people out.

      His inner monologue probably contains a recurring note equal to “These people are taking themselves too seriously.”

  36. jackjksim

    Ouch, my arm – Jacob, now

  37. Asper

    SCIENCE!!!!

    1. Bagge

      For Science!!!

  38. Sigurther

    I love this woman’s train of thought.

  39. Crumplepunch

    I find something really bizarre about the concept of a Ladies Dining Room.

    1. Spencer

      It’s the Landes Dining Room. It’s a place there at IU.

      1. Bicycle Bill

        All-you-can-eat buffett, and supposedly the home of the best fries on campus.

      2. Crumplepunch

        That makes a lot more sense.

  40. TJ Pittsburgh

    “Shoulda worn the raptor suit”

    I feel like this is good advice in any situation.

    Also . . . does anyone think that Willis might go and make Raidah sympathetic at some point? I mean, she’s not exactly a Blaine now, is she? Or even a Faz. Sarah–who is not the easiest character to get along with–doesn’t like her based on what could be an honest misunderstanding. (Don’t get me wrong: I love Sarah. I’m probably a lot like Sarah.) And Raidah’s remarks to Dina were possibly of the “I don’t know the right language to use” variety that I hear so often in the American Midwest from people as wonderful as, say, my mom. And even Sarah admits that it could be easy to mistake Dina as much younger, as even Riley did. I’m just sayin’ . . . maybe Raidah isn’t so bad.

    1. DSL

      Way-ull … As presented, Raidah might herself as intelligent and compassionate (“I’m nice to the ret … uh, mentally challenged girl — see, I didn’t say ‘retard’!”) and possibly sees herself as motivated for her “concern” for Dana. Unfortunately, she’s not as intelligent or compassionate as she thinks she is/would like you to think she is, and expresses her concern as hatred for Sarah. That’s sufficiently satisfying for Raidah, in a “see? I’m wearing an appropriately colored ribbon!” kind of way, that she sees no need to examine the situation further. That’s about as sympathetic as I can get for (the people I know who are like) her.

    2. Mr. Morningstar

      I dunno, i mean Raidah has some positive things about her but she mostly seems to be kinda of douchey.

      I mean she spoke down to Dina, referring to her as mentally challenged and was overall condescending, without even knowing if Dina DID have some mental illness, but her patronizing remarks would be even worse if it turns out to be true. (granted she did tell her friends not to call Dina retarded but even so).

      Plus, Sarah was right to have Dana taken home. And she didn’t tell the headmaster i don’t think, she called Dana’s father to take her home because of how much of a wreck she was after her mother death. But Raidah see’s it as Sarah not caring about her. Making assumptions about Sarah as well. Granted Sarah’s attitude didn’t really help the matter but the thing with Raidah is she is incredibly presumptious. She thinks Dina is mentally incapable and spoke to her like a child, she assumes Sarah kicked Dina out of college because the only thing she cares about is her studies, not the fact she was going in a downward spiral and may have done something she’d regret because of it.

      Honestly the bad about her outweighs the good in my opinion.
      But thats what I love about Willis’ work, he writes most of his characters three dimensionally. They all have flaws but they are still people, some of there flaws outweigh the good though. Even Mike (in shortpacked at least) showed emotion other then “complete dickwad” especially in regards to amber and his daughter.

      sorry went off on a tangent there.

      1. Mr. Morningstar

        sorry sarah kicked DANA out*

        damn you willis and your characters with similar names.

      2. ninja_jesus

        Actually, Raidah did call her mentally challenged.

        1. chris73

          In Raidahs (albiet slight) defence her first interaction with Dina was this: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/05-saturdays-all-right-for-slighting/friend/

          Now as cute and adorable as this is in a comic, Raidah as first thought she was in middle school and it wasn’t until Sarah told her she was the same age that Raidah thought she might be mentally-challenged and i didn’t any hint of malice, she even told her friends not to be mean

          So patronizing yes and clueless in other areas sure but no worse than a few of the other core cast members and Jacob obviously sees something in her

    3. kelticat

      Raidah currently strikes me as an oblivious character. I get the feeling that if Dana died, either due to the drugs or by suicide, Raidah would be the person saying “But she never seemed unhappy,” or “I didn’t know drugs were a problem with her.”

      1. xKiv

        And also “Sarah, why didn’t you say anything?”.

  41. Edupoet81

    It seems Dina is finding it difficult to get into character while dressed as a peaceful herbivore.

    Still, she has managed to remain undetected thus far. Now to see how much data she is able to gather.

  42. JA

    The triceratops hoodie is appropriate. No one expects the triceratops to be the one hunting them.

  43. Matt

    I kept reading that as “Ladies’ Dining Room.”

  44. LiveWire

    “Clever girl…”

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