115

Chaperone
Posted on January 28, 2011 by David M Willis

115 thoughts on “Chaperone”

  1. Jen Aside

    So who gets it in the FAAAAAAAACE first? Mike or Ruth?

    1. David Herbert

      Someone’s going to get Joe’d in the FAAACE?

      1. Soundbucket

        Someone’s going to get Joed in the FAAAACE with his penis.

        1. Seraph

          Well, it’s clearly not going to be Joyce. Not tonight, at least.

        2. Pat

          Depends on whose definition of “inappropriate”.

    2. Jonny The Eyepatch

      Someone’s going to get Mike’d* in the face.

  2. David Herbert

    No Ruth! Not the uniform! And I love how Mike is so Mike.

  3. Teowulf

    This is going to end well.

    1. Joebo

      Oh so well. Though perhaps not too well for Joe’s Penis.

    2. Volkai

      This is NOT going to end well.

      This is going to end AWESOME.

      1. Matt

        But since Mike’s there, he could jump kick something and it might end LAWSOME. With political science Professor Bart O’Ryan.

  4. Alix

    Is… is it bad if I ship Ruth and Mike just a little bit now?

    1. arjay2813

      do it. for a nickel.

    2. Alechsa

      No! Sal and Mike!!!

      They will rule the world <3

    3. MM

      Yes, but it’s okay. We can be wrong together.

      1. Chocobonobo

        Is it bad if I ship you and Alix just a little bit now?

  5. arjay2813

    that is so awesome of ruth..but wat is she doing? a billiekini perhaps

    1. Undrave

      I harbor perverse sexual lust for the Billiekini :p

  6. Mack

    Mike+Ruth one of the most enjoyable strips so far

    1. Volkai

      Strips, or ships?

      1. mrelegos

        Yes.

  7. Alice Macher

    Ah, so she did ask Ruth first.

    I still think Joe’s better off with Mike. He believes in “love or whatever,” after all. *snrk*

    1. Soundbucket

      “Whatever” being “his penis”.

      1. MJ

        Mike often tells the truth in the worst possible way.

        1. Alechsa

          The sad part is he MIGHT actually be telling the truth… Mike has morals… he’s just also an asshole.

        2. Crimson Magic

          That would be a fun twist on Mike.

  8. Joebo

    In the FAAAAAAAAACE!!!

    1. Undrave

      FAAAAAAACE!

    2. Mute

      You couldn’t possibly have a better avatar in this situation.

      *crosses fingers and hopes my FAAAACE turns out to be Billie’s*

  9. Jimmy

    Mike: his mere presence fills me with laughter.

  10. Chrisby

    Everyone who picked “I harbor perverse sexual lust” in the poll is getting punched in the FAAAAAACE.

    1. Trae Dorn

      True Fans pick “perverse sexual lust” at every opportunity.

      Especially if it’s about a puppy.

      To bad they’re in dorms.

      Or else Joyce could have a puppy.

      1. Undrave

        Hear hear!!

      2. Volkai

        True Fans are getting punched in the FAAAAAAAAAAACE

    2. arjay2813

      Well it is “perverse” and not just “sexual lust…” although i dont quite know if that was what Willis was going for

      1. Trae Dorn

        For those confused, PSL is a classic David Willis fandom phrase.

        Here’s the Walkypedia entry:
        http://www.walkypedia.com/index.php/PSL

        The term Perverse Sexual Lust has spread around quite a bit since then.
        http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PerverseSexualLust

    3. Bill M.

      I harbor perverse sexual lust for your Dina avatar.

    4. Alechsa

      By Mike. Which is Acceptable. <3 I heart me that jackass.

  11. Linkara

    You know, I’m sure Ruth’s conduct can be reported to someone… stealing and (I assume) damaging another student’s property? I’m sure the school would love to know she engages in such activities.

    1. Zaffino

      People have done much worse in dorms and gotten away with it. That’s the fun of living in them 🙂

    2. Bill M.

      Holy crap, it’s Linkara!

      However, to address your point…
      1) Ruth is the Resident Adviser for the ladies side of this dorm. The RA’s are to be treated like the Egyptian deity for which they’re named.
      2) So far the damage is threatened. Any accusation of theft would have to be taken up with campus security, to which the RA could just claim said item to be “lost & found” without proof of theft.
      3) I know this isn’t related to this comic, but is the thing that should not be in this universe the Alan Moore-Rob Liefeld collaboration?

    3. SonicBlueRanger

      Linkara is Walky! My day is offically complete I can just go to bed now nothing will top the awesome of that.

  12. goatman95111

    Meh, Ruth could be easily sanctioned. You just need to hire the late Roy Scheider and present him with a highly advanced attack helicopter.

  13. ScytheAkse

    in the faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace with joes penis.

    on a side note, i’d be totally pissed in joes shoes.

    1. BriGuy

      Dont piss in Joe’s shoes. That’s just low. Man’s already not getting any tonight.

      1. ScytheAkse

        i say he pulls the girls trick and asks mike to join him in the restroom, where he’ll then proceed to ducktape mike to a urinal.. joyce would then probably be so confused without a chaperone that she’d probably accept whatever joe wanted. if he took advantage of that i’d then have to jump into the comic and destroy him sooo i hope he’s smarter then that 😛

  14. Scott

    Preamble:
    By going on this date the undersigned, hereafter referred to as ‘the Gentleman’, agrees to one fist to the face if the conditions of Clause A are met.

    Clause A:
    Mike feels you need punched.

    Signature: _________ Date: ______

  15. Undrave

    Is Ruth going to go torment Billie some more? I expect her to find Billie and Walky both drunk on whiskey and McNuggets.

    1. NF

      This has to happen! Willis, make this happen!

      “Again, I’m not friends with him!”

  16. NF

    This comic is full of win!

  17. Eri

    I thought Joyce saw Ruth as a bully? And Billie as her hero? Promptly replaced by Sal? So who should be the real chaperone here, hmm?

    1. Gianni

      I’m glad someone else caught that Joyce thought Ruth was a bully. Doesn’t entirely make sense to me but otherwise today’s strip is cake.

      1. George

        Joyce asked Mike despite his “payment”. I think she’s going for someone who can and will break bones if needed, not someone she considers a “friend”, a “hero”, or even a good person.

      2. Alechsa

        Joyce isn’t a total naive ditz this time around… she understands SOME parts of dating involve the guy possibly wanting in your pants… she went to the two most intimidating and accessible people she had met thus far.

  18. Shift

    There is just something really creepy / adoroble with how Joyce is in regards to her whole approach to dating.

    And I’m really surprised Joe’s reaction isn’t: “I’m not going on a date with a Chaperon.” I mean, even if he wasn’t interested in solely “Joe-ing” her, who’d be able to enjoy a date with Mike glowering at you, and eying the dumpster behind the pizza place?

  19. Matt of Steel

    I don’t know why but it really bothers me who much Ruth is straight up abusing her position and harassing Billie. Sure Billie didn’t make a good first impression, but Ruth is taking this way too damn far.

  20. Gianni

    I’d let Mike punch me… in the FAAAAAAAACE. But there might be something wrong with me…

  21. Jabberwocky

    And then they’ll die.

    Of face-punching.

    1. Soundbucket

      With his penis.

    2. Cinder

      MY LITTLE PONY AVATAR!!! Ahem…

      1. Jabberwocky

        My Little Pony DOCTOR WHO avatar. 98779807894057982043758904375980347509574389539482057834975023452345435345656435645643456542789073480685% cooler.

  22. Azumango

    I betcha Joe won’t make it out of the pizza place with out getting punched. In the FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE.

    1. Cha

      With his penis.

      1. zuche

        That would leave more than a mark. Reattachment surgery may be required.

  23. Dahlia

    Uh-oh, Billie better hurry if she wants her uniform back in one piece! D:

  24. Shade

    I think Joyce made the right choice in chaperone.

  25. Robert in San Diego

    Did Sarah suggest the chaperone? And if not, who did the screening?

    1. Bill M.

      Way to not get the context of the comic. Joyce’s dad normally chaperones her dates. This is the first one where her dad’s unavailable, so she sought someone to fill in.

  26. Doom Shepherd

    That’s it. I’m totally shipping Ruth/Mike.

    Which portmanteaus into “Muth.”
    Which is the last name of an actress I harbor PSL for. Woohoo!

    1. ADHadh

      Mike doesn’t deserve that.

      1. Gianni

        No, but Ruth DOES.

      2. Alechsa

        Said with an Amber avatar…. I love that.

  27. Dr. ROFLPWN

    Mike, you don’t understand! He got permission from her roommate to shove his dick all up in her! The green light has already been given!

  28. TheAlucinaut

    Now I desperately want a t-shirt or something with a big image of Mike’s face and the text “I believe in Love and Stuff.”

    I NEEDS ETT.

    1. Random Webcomics Junkie

      Yes.

      I do not normally buy webcomics merchandise, but I would buy that shirt. I would buy the HELL out of that shirt.

  29. Blah

    All this Ruth/Mike shipping and you guys are somehow missing the obvious?

    Joyce/Mike needs to happen.

  30. ziggy78eog

    Hmmmmmmm, so is Ruth going to walk in on a drunk Billie, or a post drunk, vomiting in the toilette, hung over Billie?

    1. Undrave

      Drunk Billy AND Walky. Eating McNuggets!

  31. Compass

    Mike believes in loving or whatevering… your mom?

    1. Cha

      With his penis.
      (Couldn’t resist).

      1. Rybridge

        For a nickel.

  32. Robert in San Diego

    What are the odds Billie’s dead to the world and Sal will be like “what roommate form?” when Ruth walks in. I know cheerleader uniform fabrics usually stretch, but can Billie fit that thing? It looks Dina-sized.

  33. begbert2

    Maybe it’s my overdeveloped sense of property rights, but the notion of Ruth carelessly destroying Billie’s prized possession crosses the line from “doing her job much more harshly than necessary” to “horrible person who needs to be destroyed.”

  34. Cha

    I don’t think I like DOARuth very much. There’re other ways to handle the problem there.

    YES. Mike is an awesome chaperone. As long as he’s not chaperoning your mom, I mean.
    (Also, since the last strip is called “Three”, I basically have this mental image of Mike, Joyce, and Joe dancing to the song. Just thought I’d share that with you lot).

  35. Chaun

    What I don’ understand is, is why Mike is so willing to punch people in the face who clearly have more muscle mass then him, when he doesn’t have Abductee strength any more?

    1. beeftony

      Because he believes in punching or whatever.

      1. Chaun

        True… But Joe looks like he can punch Cock-blockers…

        … NOT GONNA SAY IT… NOT GONNA SAY IT…

        Fine… with his penis.

        1. Gianni

          Even if he was willing to punch cockblockers (hehehe) in the FAAAACE, Joe must realize that doing so would most likely turn Joyce against him, she being a naif and all. That gets in the way of perrogative #1: Get Laid.

    2. friartuck

      I think it’s less a question of why Mike’s willing and more a question of why Joe isn’t yet pulling the tough guy card and pointing out the size difference.

    3. Lokitsu

      Mike didn’t have super strength during the Its Walky! run. He got it the same way everyone but Sal and Walky did, he was placed in the resurrection machine. That apparently happened sometime between the end of IW! and beginning of his appearance in SP.

      Mike’s just always been a badass with a high tolerance for pain.

      1. Chaun

        No, He was always as strong as Walky in IW! They both could “Benchpress a car”

  36. Al the Mighty

    Ruth is busy tonight… With my… Ehm. I suppose Billie didn’t find Sal…

  37. The E-man

    Is it weird that I actually like Billie? I mean, I know she can be a jerk or whatever but she’s always been on the top of the world and now she isn’t anymore and she doesn’t know what to do. I feel like most of us go through that moment of our lives but hopefully sooner than college. It happened to me in high school, so it wasn’t too bad.

    I dunno..I just feel sorry for her and I want her to shape up and mature…I also feel what Ruth is planning to do is mean, cause some of us need those memories. But it could lead to a good epiphany for Billie that she needs to let go of high school and figure out college. hmmm….

    1. Gianni

      I’m totally with you on that. I want Billie to get better and this whole situation with Ruth and Sal basically fucking her over might make her stronger but it sucks that she has to undergo that crap this early. She just needs to grow up, but it seems like Ruth is just being an ass because she can, not to actually be of help.

  38. Ezzy

    Mike believes in love.

    Loving your mom.

    Only instead of loving, it’s fucking.
    For a nickel.

    1. Alechsa

      With change due.

  39. Mystrana

    Is Joe’s use of the word “we” a go-to move to get Joyce to feel closer to him quicker or is it a subtle indication of his falling for Joyce?
    (Hidden answer C: or I am reading too much into his choice of pronouns).

  40. Jessy

    Joyce is a smart girl =)

    1. Jen Aside

      Actually, it just occurred to me that she thought Ruth was a bully… so…? =’

      *COGNITIVE DISSONANCE OH MY!*

  41. skies

    Mike + Ruth, duo of doom.

  42. halcyon1234

    Mike can fill in for her dad, because he’s already filled in her mom.

    1. Alechsa

      WIN.

    2. Chiatroll

      with his penis

  43. Cinder

    Oh, God, I adore Mike.

    Curse my inability for sharp, witty comments. There’s one in my head, I’m sure of it, but it won’t come out. ;-;

  44. BD

    Wait, did Ruth make Mike volunteer…?

    1. Skye

      Nobody makes Mike do anything. Mike does what he wants, remember?

  45. Skye

    I will likely become the ire of many people… but I am GLAD Ruth is a total b*tch! I like her that way. I mean, she came off as one back during Roomies!. There was also this huge animosity between her and Billie in Roomies!, so it makes sense for it to exist here too. However, whereas in Roomies! we saw Billie being as much of or even more of a b*tch than Ruth, here we see the positions have changed.

    Plus I’m a sucker for a woman who will go out of her way to make people’s lives miserable.

    … there is something seriously wrong with me. I think I need to be punched. In the FAAAAAAAAACE.

    1. Zanosuke Kurosaki

      Uhhhh… You need to go back and reread Roomies. Ruth practically -raised- Billie, so there was no “huge animosity between them.” The only animosity Billie had was for Mary, for her two-faced lies, and Sal, for her inability to move on with her life and leave Danny be (and by then we were into “It’s Walky!”, anyway.) Ruth and Billie weren’t huge bongoes back during Roomies, either, Billie just had some rather large family problems (both parents lushes with mother being promiscuous, if recalled correctly), and Ruth just made sure Joe got the message to stop abusing her little brother Howard. You sure you were readin’ the same comic I was? o.O

      1. Skye

        Hmm, I got it mixed up. It was her other roommates Billie couldn’t stand, and with Ruth gone she hated them even more to the point where she left.

        Man, why do I recall their being such animosity between Billie and Ruth in Roomies?

  46. Heather

    See I’m not so sure she’s going to trash her outfit.

    Possibly modify it so it fits just a tad too snugly. Hence Billie thinks she’s getting fat and gets messed around and any chance of reprimanding goes out the window.

    Or maybe I’m over-estimating her IDK. Besides she’d fearless too.

    1. Slyness

      Or possibly Ruth’s busy night consists of walking past Billie’s room a few times, cheerleader outfit in one hand and scissors in the other, saying “snip snip snip!” and cackling evilly?

  47. Mkvenner

    Schh-edule?

  48. Hinoron

    She has chosen… wisely. ^_^

    1. Mitsukara

      She sure knows how to select people skilled at punching-related assistance, considering she asked Ruth first!

  49. khambatta

    Mike’s sad face, admitting to his one vulnerability.

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