298

Choices
Posted on October 22, 2023 by David M Willis

298 thoughts on “Choices”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    hope we’re not gonna find out Lucy’s list of great choices has two things on it, and one of them is “dating Lucy”

    1. Ana Chronistic

      alt: well WE need to see it, NOW

      1. clif

        I’m going to second Ana. I mean it doesn’t have to be now, but at this point it’s well nigh mandatory.

      2. Dave

        Got a nickel?

        1. Tesset

          *ups patreon subscription by $0.05*

    2. Decidedly Orthogonal

      It’s amazing the difference between Lucy and Linda’s versions of support. One being belief in and encouragement of someone, and the other being, well… not.

      1. danimagoo

        She could always try saying something like, “I encourage him to do things that bring him joy. I’m not his mother.” I’m sure that would defuse the situation. (/s, just in case that’s not obvious)

        1. FuzzyWulfe

          It would only delay things. Linda thinks she’s right, so anyone that doesn’t see things her way is a bad influence. She’d probably give Lucy a verbal tongue lashing for being impertinent. Linda doesn’t see who her children are, just who they should be. She still doesn’t really get that her kids are doing all these things because of how she responds.

  2. Animedingo

    How does she suck as much as dorothys mother

    1. Lumino

      It’s a damn accomplishment is what it is.

      1. Schpoonman

        I thought Dorothy’s mom was cool. Are we talking about Joyce’s or Ethan’s mother?

    2. Yumi

      Do you mean Joyce’s mother?

    3. Derek

      what did Dorothy’s mom do?

      1. Yotomoe

        She raised Dorothy

      2. Alongcameaspider

        Semi serious answer: didn’t prepare her child for the possibility that her dreams were unattainable and misguided and the importance of having some kind of backup plan leading to Dorothy’s current mental crisis

        1. Jamie

          Which, as we all know, is definitely something fathers can’t do, so he’s absolved of responsibility.

        2. clif

          How dare a mom be supportive supportive of her daughters big goals.

        3. clif

          Pretend that had one supportive.

        4. Azhrei Vep

          Nope. I’m adding a third. She’s just that supportive.

        5. Gigafreak

          She’s so supportive, it’s like she has a disease.

          Buttress disease.

        6. HueSatLight

          Dorothy’s parents supported her self-destructive behavior. The details are why that doesn’t make them bad people, but they messed up.

        7. ktbear

          Damn, just as well Donald Trump never wanted to be President when he was growing up so his mother never had the chance to talk him out of it. How boring would THAT have been?

        8. Mark

          Boredom can be good.

        9. RassilonTDavros

          I’ll take “boring” over a Trump presidency any day of the week. I may not like the Democrats, but I’m perfectly willing to vote for a president who fails to make things better if it keeps out a president who actively makes things worse.

        10. Tan

          From what little we’ve seen of Dorothy’s mom, she’s seemed supportive of Dorothy’s dream while at the same time emphasizing that dreams can change and that’s okay. Obviously the latter half of that message isn’t one Dorothy internalized, but I don’t think that makes it the mom’s fault.

        11. MM

          Yeah, it’s not like Dorothy’s been particularly receptive to anyone else trying to gently set realistic expectations. And if she’d taken a tough love approach, she’d be on the shit list with every other bad parent.

    4. Decidedly Orthogonal

      It’s a pity the gravatars don’t lock-in for a particular comment. Because this is **perfect**.

    5. Thag simmons

      Dorothy’s mom is good! One of the only good parents in this comic

      1. Sirksome

        Nah, Dorothy’s mom sucks. Every parent in this comic is awful. If you think they’re cool you just haven’t seen how they’ve traumatized their child yet. Proof, the Keeners unquestioning support of dear Dotty created a child that would ultimately be crushed under her own unrealistic expectations of excellence and, complete inability to cope with personal failure! Mrs. Keener’s at least 50% responsible for that. Should’ve kept her daughter grounded by calling her a loser at least once! Bad mom!

        1. HueSatLight

          middle part’s not wrong. but sandwiched between some not right.

        2. Thag simmons

          The Keeners are managing consistent passing grades and Linda’s lucky to get low C’s

        3. Coatl

          As far as I remember, she and her husband never pressured Dorothy to go to the top, I remember telling her to do what really makes her happy.

        4. Daibhid C

          Sue but she thinks what makes her happy is pushing herself and helping others. Still counts.

          But you know who really sucks? Jason’s mum, for raising him to believe that an affected “I am very British” attitude would go over well in America, and also forcing him to wear that bowtie. Things that I assume must be the case because every time a character is screwed up in some way, it must be the mother’s fault. (Don’t even get me started on Becky’s mom, and her callous decision to be dead.)

        5. Schpoonman

          Sirksome is joking, everyone.

          I hope.

        6. clif

          Sure Sirksome is employing humor and/or sarcasm.

          But are Alongcameaspider and Animedingo?

        7. DaveM

          With respect, Dina’s parents only failing is if anything being a little too trusting (and nobody should expect having to deal with something like Blaine).

          And Carla’s parents (despite being the 1% of the 1% rich) have been totally supportive and kind and caring of her.

          Let not the toxic fumes from the many bad parents dim the lights of the few good ones.

        8. Sirksome

          Please. These parents are hardly breaking the curve. Dina’s parents failed her countless times, from supporting her relationship with Becky leading directly to premarital sex, or not providing her the skillset needed to be perceived when near doorways, Dina’s life is a prime example of lax parenting creating a child with zero moral foundation or regard for life. Don’t forget recently Dina went on a rampage assaulting multiple students while believing she was a dinosaur. Who is responsible for that if not Mr. and Mrs. Saruyama?

          You can’t honestly believe the Ruttens are any better. If we just decide to ignore the problematic billionaire status they hold, which is already a monumental ask, the fact they’ve constantly indulged and propped up their daughter as exceptional or special in any way has objectively created one of the world’s greatest narcissists! We just saw her trying to purchase human attention and affection! The Ruttens majorly fumbled the bag with Carla. No parent in DoA is truly innocent or above reproach!

        9. DiktatrSquid

          Mistakes doesn’t mean “bad parent”. Good parents make mistakes. Big ones at that. Mistakes can be recognized and learned from. I don’t think we’ve had Dorothy’s parents even realize what their daughter’s mental state has reduced to, but I expect them to get their chance.

          Linda’s problem meanwhile is the inability to even consider the idea that she could be wrong about something, which we’ve definitely seen demonstrated.

    6. Needfuldoer

      Deborah is only guilty of encouraging her daughter into following her dreams straight into an existential crisis.

    7. Amós Batista

      This IS a plot twist!! Now I have to reading everything again.

  3. NGPZ

    Well this strip is… some way to start a Sunday ?

    Linda gets hit by a stray ball when?

    1. Decidedly Orthogonal

      Oh right, Basketball. I was hoping it was hockey.

    2. Amós Batista

      Basketball; OW, IT HURTS.
      Soccerball: ow, it hurts
      Volletball: ow, it’s a powerfull slap
      Hokkey disk: my teeths
      Boliche: *dead*

      1. HueSatLight

        omg a bowling ball would replace your head like a Daffy Duck cartoon.

        1. Needfuldoer

          The thumb hole talks: “Of course you realize, this means war.”

      2. ValdVin

        Now do lacrosse or jai alai.

      3. lawoot

        Boliche? So there’s a chance Linda could be hit by a Cuban Roast Beef? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boliche

        1. Amós Batista

          I volunteer as a tribute.

      4. Benjamin Geiger

        Jai alai: *splatter*

      5. Roborat

        You forgot part of that:
        soccerball: ow, that hurts (flop to the ground and roll around like you just got shot and punched in the balls simultaneously)

    3. Freezer

      Way too far back for that (unfortunately). We could always hope for a stray bird?

      1. Schpoonman

        Charles brought Walky and Lucy to their paid seats, they’re close enough to at least bloody Linda’s nose.

        1. HueSatLight

          the nosebleed seats, as it were.

        2. Schpoonman

          Oh, wow, you’re on a roll tonight.

  4. Coatl

    Lucy, don’t make it worse than it already is

    1. Archieve

      Unfortunately, Lucy is still operating under the assumption that their sitcom dinner ploy worked to make her look good and that Walkys parents are otherwise kind and reasonable…the poor girl.

      1. Coatl

        Well, the lady thinks it’s appropriate to use an ex-girlfriend who ended on bad terms with the “comedian” and his “jokes” on Halloween.

      2. shanunu

        Which is crazy like Walky literally told her to expect to be disliked because his parents are kinda racist. Why would she even try??

        1. sun tzu

          Because Lucy is under the delusion that every obstacle in life can be defeated with sufficient positivity.

        2. Archieve

          I also don’t think Lucy has ever had to deal with an adult showing unmasked contempt before. Even if you took away the racial bias Linda is still a bitter, judgmental and overcontrolling parent. I don’t think Walky fully understood that himself yet.

    2. Angel

      at least she isn’t saying he’s making a smut comic, which admittedly is sometimes more of a profit 8D

    3. Needfuldoer

      The only way Lucy could make the situation better in Linda’s eyes would be to instantaneously cease existing.

  5. Shorduie

    Well now I want to see it too

  6. not someone else

    Career path? Oh god. He’s not allowed to have “unproductive” hobbies, is he. That’s why he has to borrow Booster’s Switch.

    1. RassilonTDavros

      Yyyyyup.

    2. Decidedly Orthogonal

      Gotta be productive at all times. Oh mother, how do I not miss the. Let me not bother counting the ways.

    3. Regalli

      He’s premed, he just doesn’t know it yet. He won’t have time for hobbies while he’s in med school!

      … And yeah, dear god, I suspect you’re right.

      1. Mollyscribbles

        Now, now. She might also allow him to go to law school.

      2. Archieve

        Yep, unfortunately I suspect Linda last panel has decided to put dating Lucy officially in the hobbies category.

      3. NGPZ

        How dare her kid exist outside her ideal, complacent, *productive* package ready for capitalism to grind to dust and show off as some kind of trophy.

        For reals this objectification absolutely disgusts me ?

        1. Needfuldoer

          “Well he always has, until now. Something must have distracted him!”

          – Linda, probably

    4. Jamie

      IIRC, Linda was not pleased about Walky’s choice of major.

      1. clif

        Is she even aware of his choice of major? This isn’t something that a University would usually report to the parents. He might not have mentioned it.

        1. Miri

          She discussed it with the Keepers. He’s currently Communications. He “doesn’t know he’s changing it to pre-med yet” apparently ?

        2. Needfuldoer

          Nice Freudian slip; I bet Linda really wishes Walky was still with Dorothy. She likes her work ethic, life goals, and other attributes that she won’t verbalize.

        3. Miri

          Actually Autocorrect ??‍♀️

        4. Miri

          But yes, otherwise I agree with you on Linda liking Dorothy. Although I think at some point when it became clear that Dorothy would be more successful than Walky (assuming she doesn’t actually burn out/completely crash and burn) Linda would start resenting her for holding her baby back ?

        5. Mark

          I’m convinced that FERPA disallows such disclosures to parents of a college-aged student without the student’s written consent.

        6. UrsulaDavina

          Yup especially with grades when i was a TA i had only one parent try this and elevated to the Provost and still nothing. I really hope this happens to Linda but she knows the Dean so all bets are off.

        7. thejeff

          How could he have not mentioned it? You think Linda would have let him send in the applications without checking them over?

          He could change it without them necessarily knowing since he’s now at school and could do it in person.

        8. MM

          He might’ve just put “undeclared,” and she went along with it since actually applying as a potential premed student would have probably been more competitive.

        9. thejeff

          Sure, he could have. And she’d still know what he put down and the school not reporting it to her is still irrelevant.
          But he didn’t. We know he’s a communications major. She knows he’s a communications major.

    5. Ben

      Walky is costing his parents thousands of dollars, he isn’t making the effort and he isn’t being honest. He could wank about doing nothing useful at home, at little or no cost to them. Linda gets my vote; he needs a good kick up the arse

      1. Leorale

        People are not investments, and kids don’t exist to make life-choices that please you. You can choose to gift them the money for their college educations, and they can be not-Dorothy, and you don’t get your money back, nor do you get to pick a different kid.

        They can also choose to have a balanced life in which they still go to classes and take their midterms, but they also have friends and an artistic outlet, and they don’t burn out or have a nervous breakdown.

        Also, a kick in the arse would send him into a terror spiral. It would not make him become a pre-med student.

        At exactly what age would Walky get to make his own choices about what he wants for his life?

        1. monkyvirus

          I agree but the US system complicates matters. I can see why people become more controlling when they’re putting so much money down. It’s not right but it’s so expensive they don’t want to see their child throwing that money away.

          Even tho plenty of people doss around or drop out of uni (which is fine as a life experience).

          It’s like buying your 18 Yr old a house then 1) being outraged when it gets trashed after some bad decisions or 2) obsessively popping round to ensure its still in mint condition. The sheer expense of education unfortunately creates conflict.

          But I completely agree pressuring students only makes them feel worse and may exacerbate any issues.

        2. monkyvirus

          Just to add their are also just controlling parents like Linda but I’m guessing even reasonable ppl might balk at “wasting” that much money.

  7. quark

    if linda expects lucy to get walky to go into premed shes fooling herself

    1. Archieve

      It looks like the opposite, Linda looks like she’s decided Lucy is to blame for Walky slacking off which she has decided is the real reason he was failing.

    2. Quirdry Tawks

      If we were basing Walky’s career path solely on Linda’s perception of Lucy…

      …well, ask him yourself. He should be off-shift at the car wash any moment now.

      1. StClair

        Come on baby, sing it to me

        1. Mark

          “I got those steadily depressin’
          low-down, mind-messin’
          workin’ at the carwash blues.”

        2. DaveM

          From the D-Gen’s Late show (Early ’90s Australia) I present “The Backing Tape Blues” 🙂
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5jAIY5r_TQ

  8. RassilonTDavros

    Please tell me that alt text isn’t joking. I need to see that strip.

    1. HueSatLight

      probably too late for a LAWsome win on the bonus strip.

      1. Needfuldoer

        There’s always next month!

    2. Pergola

      Patreon incentive, maybe?

  9. newlland(Henryvolt)

    Ooof

  10. Sirksome

    Webcomics career seems shaky now, but she hasn’t seen the merch plans, or the patreon. Walky, talk about the patreon!

    1. Mark

      Walky: what’s Patreon?
      Lucy: I’ve been meaning to discuss that with you….

  11. NGPZ

    If Walky made a video game to go with his comic eventually Linda would still be unimpressed, the bongo.

  12. Yotomoe

    Damn Lucy’s really fucked him. And not in the way she wanted to.

    1. Sirksome

      First times are always awkward.

    2. Quirdry Tawks

      BZZZZZZZZT! Too easy; two minutes in the box.

      1. Quirdry Tawks

        …if you think he’ll last the whole two.

        *ba-dum-PSSSSSSSSSHHH*

  13. Cholma

    “Webcomic? Did I say ‘webcomic’? No, no! I meant superhero! Yes, Walky made the choice to become a superhero, Mrs. Walkerton! Have you heard about Night Guy? That’s your son!”
    “. . .”
    “He’s sooo dreamy.”

    1. Kenny Williams

      Oh yeah! That did happen! Damn, are we gonna pick that subplot back up at some point?

      1. Jamie

        I gotta ask: where do you want it to go? Walky has demonstrated an inability to throw a punch, let alone fight. If he takes superheroing at all seriously, he’s going to end up on a hospital bed.

    2. Angel

      other than ‘scaring’ off some guys hassling lucy i don’t think he actually accomplished much as night guy/would’ve been better off volunteering at a soup kitchen

    3. Pergola

      NightGuy! Rules the night! With his sidekick NightGirl!
      ( and her chest window )

  14. Yotomoe

    “Is that the career path you’ve chosen”
    Nobody said the word career, Linda. o3o Sometimes you just wanna draw a dropkick for free.

    1. Quirdry Tawks

      Go sportsball!

      *God DAMMIT I accidently flagged again*

    2. Mturtle7

      “For free”?! What is this “for free” you speak of?! You mean, like, an unpaid internship?

  15. Corlanthis

    Holy shit. Why doesn’t Linda just adopt Jennifer and call it a day? At least that way she’ll have one child having a *proper* College Experience.

    1. Schpoonman

      It really hit me that Jennifer takes the most after Linda when in the space of two or three days Walky had both of them screaming at him in a restaurant.

      1. Archieve

        Yep, haven’t even seen Jennifer and Linda interact at all in comic yet but she’s still always the favorite by virtue of being alive somewhere.

        1. Schpoonman

          Jennifer kinda-sorta-not-really* got Linda to back off trying to sue Amber out of school. Super telling that Walky went to her to try to get Linda to back down.

          *: Linda’s such a shrieking expletive that her on-paper reason to not go after Amber further was that Blaine, who was paying her tuition, died.

        2. Archieve

          Oh right, it was such a brief interaction I completely forgot

        3. Schpoonman

          In my defense I skimmed through that section when someone linked it a few months ago.

        4. Miri

          Billie may have mentioned this to her and let her think it was Linda’s logic, possibly also hinting that Amber is friends with both of the twins and if she sues their friend she will be the bad guy to them, and this is unnecessary. And not mentioned the new rich-supportive-doctor-stepdad angle.

          Cheerleader, problem-solver. Jennifer. Something.

    2. Coatl

      If she explodes, she is able to say so without remorse.

    3. Proxiehunter

      Because Jennifer has that whole drunk driving thing that would reflect poorly on Linda if she adopted her and as we all know how your child reflects on you is the only thing they’re for.

      1. Needfuldoer

        Not true!

        They’re also for supporting you when you’re geriatric and feeble.

  16. katosen27

    God this kind of judgement regarding hobbies or career path sounds familiar.

  17. Yotomoe

    Part 4 (NSFW)
    So for absolutely no reason at all this part is like…really long. And just pulling back the curtain a bit. Most of this dialogue is written by me off the top of my head. I’ll usually have a basic idea of what I want them to say and then I’ll just fill it. I say that to say even I didn’t expect the conversation to go this route, I just knew what the major parts of it had to hit.

    1. DailyBrad

      Damn, this is quite interesting. You keep getting better at this.

    2. Dday

      Haha Drooling Amber is great

      1. EpochFlame

        seconded. loving this jamber arc

    3. newlland(Henryvolt)

      This sounds like the conversation I would have with someone if they asked me for my “type.” Are we talking personality or appearance because I have a thought out opinion on both.

    4. Laura

      The way you draw those characters! You just capture their essence perfectly. Your style reminds me a bit of Meredith Gran and Valerie Halla. Just lovely!

      My only suggestion would be that the couch appears to change length. One panel it fits the two of them with Amber’s legs over Joe’s lap, next her legs are all stretched out but still not reaching Joe with her feet, but he’s still sitting in the middle of the couch. Feels like a telescoping couch.

      Other than that tiny detail, though… VERY intriguing!

      1. Yotomoe

        I’m so BAD at drawing couches y’all.
        But yeah my idea was supposed to be that Joe is sitting slightly further away after standing. Like it’s one thing if you’re sitting and someone puts their legs on you, but after you stand up you wouldn’t sit where their legs are so they’d either need to pull them in to reset them on his lap or you sit further away so they don’t have to.
        Joe is sitting further away both out of convenience and to prevent amber from continuing to tease him. He’s mounting his counter offensive, after all.

    5. EpochFlame

      btw, discord is going to be obfuscating links outside the site, so these images will be lost to time if that’s the only filehost you’re using

      1. Yotomoe

        Oh I’m aware. I’m not posting these here as like a permanent home. This is literally just so you guys here right now can see it. I’ll figure out a website to post on soon. (read: eventually)

        1. EpochFlame

          looking forward to it!

    6. HueSatLight

      I know it’s not what you meant, but the “teeth” line conjured up some terrible visualizations.

      1. Schpoonman

        …Dude, I went right by that thinking nothing of it. Why would you curse us so?

        1. HueSatLight

          you say that with that avatar

        2. Schpoonman

          Yeah, alright, you win. Shit, that was good.

      2. Yotomoe

        Some guys are into oral. Others are into dental.

        1. Schpoonman

          Yoto, please.

    7. Proxiehunter

      I can’t find part 3?

      1. Yotomoe

        Here ya go!

    8. NGPZ

      Joe in for a REALLY bizarre adventure this time! ??

    9. cbwroses

      Joe: Yes, Amber, you are my type (as are most women, to be honest).
      You would be ranked pretty high.
      Regarding the list, you would be “Geek girl with a fat ass and high kicks”, but the personality would enhance the already high physical score.
      You do indeed get bonus points for those.
      I AM into legs and want you to do more kicks, glasses are a positive, and yes, you are more than welcome to be thirsty (I’m feeling a little parched myself at the moment).

      Amber: Ok, I can raid Mew Two later… *begins to take off her T-shirt*

    10. Bash

      This is way hotter than when you just straight up draw porn. I’m absolutely loving the dialogue and the escalating level of horniness.

      1. Yotomoe

        There’s this hard to describe phenomenon. But I find actual porn less hot than the foreplay/buildup. It’s all about that television tease.

        1. Bash

          I think porn is best WITH a buildup. That anticipation is very sexy, an it gives the scene some context. Amber and Joe don’t interact romantically in the comic, so it wouldn’t make sense if you just drew them having sex. But talking about sexy stuff so honestly does make sense for them, and then when it tips over into horny it’s very appealing.

        2. Miri

          I think it’s a recognised thing which almost definitely has a name but I don’t want to mess up my search history too much ??

          Amber deciding to try to wind up Joe (presumably in the time bubble of Christmas break? I missed the first parts), his mind saying “No, sister!” Little Joe saying “DANG, HOT” and him trying to navigate that then messing with her back because surely it’s safe? And no fair! Then being shocked and flustered by her momentarily revealing that actually while he isn’t her TYPE, she’s still APPRECIATIVE… Is confusingly believable ?

    11. Mr D

      insert bird screaming “AND THEN THEY FUCKED” here

    12. Azhrei Vep

      I just want you to know Yoto, that I do a Ctr+F for your name on ever strip’s comments these days (usually the after, to be sure I don’t miss you) just to see if you’ve come up with any fresh art for us.

      1. Miri

        You are smart. Yoto’s art is good!

        1. Azhrei Vep

          But not smart enough to close an italics tag, apparently. Or spell ‘every’ right. Alas.

    13. zee

      God damn Joe’s hot dude. Like, first time I’ve related to amber since highschool

    14. Pergola

      Your instincts serve you well, young Jedi.

    15. Mturtle7

      I love how Amber’s “I’ve been turned on this whole time too.” has the exact same energy as The Princess Bride “I’m not left handed either!” quote

    16. Justnobodyfqwl

      God bless yotomoe stepsis amber hijinks!! I’ve enjoyed them so much this week, thank you for everything you do! You’re the highlight of these comments and my night 🙂

  18. newlland(Henryvolt)

    I mean it’s not like he drew a strip of his mother getting drop kicked by Sal or any of his recent girlfriends so she won’t freak that badly.

    1. Archieve

      Don’t understimste her, Linda can and will freak out badly at her son doing anything that won’t help him recognize his true like calling to premed.

    2. Needfuldoer

      We don’t know that he didn’t!

      (And I kind of hope he did.)

  19. Dday

    To be fair, it’s an objectively bad comic. But you’ve gotta draw your height in bad comics before you can start drawing good ones. Keep crankin out those shit-ass comics Walky

    1. Proxiehunter

      How tall is one digital drawing?

      1. Dday

        Print it out, however it would readably fit on paper

        1. clif

          How can you call it a bad comic when it has Mike?

          The sophistication of the humor is just over your head.

        2. Proxiehunter

          To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Walky’s webcomic. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer’s head. There’s also Mike’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterization- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they’re not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Walky’s webcomic truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humor in Mikes’s existential catchphrase “I’d fuck your mom for a nickle.” which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev’s Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Walky’s genius wit unfolds itself on their computer monitors. What fools… how I pity them.

  20. DailyBrad

    Man, Linda is just toxic as all fuck.

    1. Icalasari

      I hope Linda and Mrs. Brown end up arrested for hate crimes, and if they ever get out lose their reputations forever. Seems like something that would hurt them more than even death, as death can mean being a martyr

      1. Jamie

        …what even are their jobs? Like, I get that Carol has a church community where she can lose reputation, but what baskets does Linda have her eggs in?

        1. Archieve

          Don’t remember Linda’s job being mentioned but i get the idea that shes not satisfied how her own life turned out. she’s the classic parent who wants to live on through their children who will accomplish what she couldn’t. Although she might favor Jennifer, I think she still wants to see a biological child of hers succeed, hence why Walky not being perfect is a personal offense to her.

        2. Chubsius

          Yeah that line, “you’ve just made some bad choices,” made me feel like she was projecting…hard.

      2. JBento

        Carol is never gonna be arrested for hate crimes, because at the trial she’s just gonna say “because Jesus” and that’s a forever excuse for anything for some reason.

  21. Laura

    Walky, there is no plausible way out when confronted with the level of DGAF malevolence and bitterness Linda is showing right now.

    Walky: LEAVE. NOW. Just take your girlfriend and GO. This does NOT end at all, let alone end well. Take shelter.

    It’s like in the old song from ‘The Wiz’: “You can’t win. You can’t break even. You can’t get out of the game.”

    Or, in the words of Joshua/WOPR: “A STRANGE GAME. THE ONLY WINNING MOVE IS NOT TO PLAY.. … HOW ABOUT A NICE GAME OF CHESS?”

    1. NGPZ

      Well, given she IS drinking, there about to be a game of global thermonuclear war with her inhibition neurons outta commission. ?

      Yeah for reals they gotta RUN

      *plays “Run Red Run” by The Coasters on hacked muzak*

    2. Archieve

      Would be nice if they just left, unfortunately , I don’t think Walkys at the stage where he can just walk away from his parents and Lucy is the sort to try harder when somebody doesn’t like her…not a good combination in this situation.

  22. Archieve

    Oh no, Lucy threw herself infront of Lindas blame seeking missle and she doesn’t even realize it.

    1. Jamie

      Any bets on Lucy gaining character growth by the end of this night?

      1. Archieve

        Fingers crossed.

      2. Quirdry Tawks

        Not nearly enough to become interesting.

    2. Needfuldoer

      Eh, it was locked onto her anyway.

      1. Archieve

        True, just being in Linda’s presence was enough.

  23. Suet

    Only if Walky creates Hiveworks, mmmmaybe?

    Linda needs a ton o’ hooch.

  24. Qube

    the webcomic provides an accurate assessment of what’s-her’name’s parenting skills

  25. Cmasta1992

    Lucy managing to find the rare moment when supporting your significant other was the wrong play. Skill

    1. Archieve

      I get the impression thst Lucy comes from a loving family so having parents who don’t care about their kids happiness is an alien concept.

      1. Doopyboop

        Absolutely, when Lucy heard the term golden child she seemed to take it at face value, not understanding that no one wants to be a golden child, least of all the shimmery child themselves.

        1. Miri

          I don’t know. Some golden children, who are very secure in their golden child status (because no matter what the actual reality, it will never be deemed their fault), and who are also narcissists who are comfortable abusing their sibling(s), and who haven’t realised that the attention they’re getting is actually control, might be quite comfortable with it?

          My parents aren’t narcissists but apparently subconsciously play favourites. They were telling my children they don’t have favourites and that parents don’t and I agreed I don’t but that theirs is me and they seemed stunned… My eldest suggested this was distance-based. Queue discussion on whether physical distance from theirs to sister being slightly shorter is negated by my husband doing about half the driving trips, and the route to her being more traficky. And jokes that my brother who moved from the UK to NZ apparently didn’t think this one through…

          (My sister is a covert narcissist with health issues, and my mum and her squabble like she’s a rebellious teen. They love her – I do believe they love us all equally – but they have a fractious relationship. My brother moved to NZ… They get on well at a distance with occasional visits. If I’m not their favourite child – basically by default – it’s my husband on his own merits.)

        2. Needfuldoer

          I’m sure a non-zero number of golden children are narcissists themselves, and they revel in their position as the favored Mini-Me version of the parents.

        3. Doopyboop

          I stand corrected, some golden children are happy to be the golden child.

  26. Icalasari

    Linda makes me think violent thoughts

  27. Rikunda

    She is a woman I would slap with a closed fist.

    1. Laura

      Um… 🙁 Hm. Hrrm.

      1. Laura

        That winky-face was not the appropriate gravatar for the level of discomfort I feel with this comic-comment.

        1. NGPZ

          Might be about time to reshuffle the winky-face for a new gravitar.

          Whatever the result, will hopefully be less smarmy.

    2. zee

      I’m a woman so I will say without shame that I too would punch Linda in the face. Many times. I know where to buy brass knuckles.

      1. NGPZ

        Make those steel.

  28. Proxiehunter

    Someone needs to jumpkick Walky’s mom. Might as well be Mike’s ghost.

    1. Miri

      I read that as jumpstarting her. And figured you meant with his *cough* crankshaft (using that as a euphemism). Then reread.

      With Mike, the only difference is whether nickles would be involved.

  29. Schpoonman

    I wonder how long it will take someone to point out that Lucy and Walky hadn’t even met when Walky was failing (and they weren’t an item until months later) and how quickly Linda will bulldoze that fact.

    Also, was thinking about Linda stealing Sal’s money and how Charles just stood there the entire time not saying a single word as Linda shouted down Sal pointing out all of her hypocrisies. Dude suuuuuuucks.

    1. Angel

      weelll, you could also frame it in such a way as, “Your grades were slipping so you decided to full around/get a girlfriend instead of studying more?”

      1. BBCC

        After he’d fixed his situation.

        Seriously, Linda’s beating a horse that’s already buried.

    2. Needfuldoer

      That fact doesn’t play into the narrative she has decided to weave, and is therefore irrelevant.

  30. Mym

    Lucy, unsurprisingly, cannot read the room

    1. bejouled

      I mean, I AM surprised at how badly she’s missing the very obvious signals Walky is throwing at her. I feel like it takes skill to be that oblivious.

      1. Miri

        But then, while being asked a direct question, trying to think of a lie as plausible as the truth that won’t somehow upset the person when you don’t understand why the truth isn’t OK, is HARD…

        1. Mym

          That’s one of my biggest problems with Lucy: She doesn’t understand.

  31. Bittersweet

    Linda please stop being a carbon clone of my mom during those years, I can only point at the comic and go “MOM!” so many times every week before I throw out my arm.

    She’s actually slightly worse though if she sees webcomics and art as pointless goofing off. Mine supports anything that has the decent potential to make money.

  32. Amós Batista

    Fisrt time in a while that I’m afraid to read tomorrow page on Patreon…

    1. spriteless aunty

      It’s strips like these that drive me to check the Patreon without even being a member, if there’s a scene change with this high of tension I need a day to process it. O_O

  33. Vanessa

    Lucy doesn’t have the social skills to handle Walky’s parents. Amazing that Amber did better. That one started with Linda yelling at Walky so loud the whole campus heard about him flunking but now she’s in an even worse mood! And I’m sure the alcohol won’t help.

    1. Archieve

      Amber handled Linda better because she rightfully doesn’t give fig what Linda thinks and didn’t hesitate to compare Linda to Blaine. Lucy by contrast thinks she can win over anyone if she’s nice enough…it’s going to be a rough ride.

      1. tim gueguen

        Lucy is far more naive than Amber. Amber didn’t have the chance to be a naive adult.

        1. Jamie

          Yeah. Because it didn’t happen on-screen, I think a lot of people forget that Amber spent her pre-college summer arguing with Ethan’s mother that it was okay for Ethan to be gay. It’s why she disengaged so hard from Ethan once college started.

          Amber isn’t just savvy. Amber has direct, applicable experience in dealing with an asshole mother trying to railroad her child onto a golden path.

        2. CardinalFan

          Hey! Be fair. The Golden Path worked out beautifully for Paul Atreides…oh wait…

    2. Angel

      kinda odd she didn’t notice /try to change the subject when she managed to cover for jen when she was still ‘dating’ ruth

    3. spriteless aunty

      Amazing how surviving abuse is a skill. Some people don’t even realize they have it until a person with a new perspective is confronted with what has been lived with all their life, but instead of keeping head down bursts into tears.

      For example.

  34. HueSatLight

    Beginning to think Linda isn’t really into the game on the court right now.

    1. Proxiehunter

      Linda’s more of a fan of the game of human chess.

      1. Daibhid C

        Ans she sucks at it, then blames the pieces.

  35. Username Taken

    Linda deserves the distant relationships with both her kids that she’s working so hard to earn. Lucy, on the other hand, deserves none of this bs.

    Also I know a portion of the readers here often see themselves and their own relationships reflected in the comics, so if this reminds you of anything negative you’ve had to deal with in your relationships with your parents, fwiw you deserve uncritical love and support.

    1. Archieve

      Linda strikes me as the kind of future estrangled mother to show up uninvited to her kids weddings.

      1. Schpoonman

        Yeah, I kinda want to strangle Linda, too.

      2. Plonker

        If she shows up at the wedding, you didn’t enstrangle her properly.

        I recommend going for the full 6ft, next time, instead of trying to get away with just a shallow grave. No way she claws her way up from 6ft under, if you failed to enstragle her fully, but the couple inches of a shallow grave won’t be too much of a challenge.

    2. Angel

      yep, be good to communicate but it’s not always a red flag if anyone’s like “oh no i’m never letting you meet my parents”

  36. John Campbell

    These two really need to work on their communication.

    Come on, Lucy! Walky is very clearly making the “cut Linda’s throat now” signal!

    1. shrub

      That’d be an interesting next comic

      1. Jamie

        Mostly because the only slicing weapon Lucy really has to hand is probably paper. Hopefully newspaper. With webcomcis.

        1. AGV

          A worthy blade if there ever was one

        2. Plonker

          Not a penis mightier?

        3. Miri

          The only penis to hand is Walky’s. Trying to cut Linda’s throat with Walky’s penis seems wrong.

          Or I guess Charles, but I’m pretty sure touching your boyfriend’s dad’s penis, even if you’re using it to try to slit his abusive mother’s throat, is a social faux pas.

          Also most penii aren’t sharp enough to slit throats.

        4. Proxiehunter

          If not the penis mightier, then the sword.

  37. Archieve

    I’m honestly getting more concerned for Walky here, As the favored child hes got a bigger target on his back then Sal. I hope Linda doesnt decide he needs more surveillance.

  38. jeffepp

    Lightly lubricated Linda likes Lusy little.

  39. sdrainbow

    whoa what is with the ominous red flashback background

    1. sdrainbow

      upon further review it might just be the seats? but boy I got scared for a minute

      1. Schpoonman

        Give Linda some more time to work up to it.

    2. Brian K. Pittman

      Those are the seats. lol

    3. Archieve

      In canon it’s the bleacher but I like to think it’s also a indicator of Linda’s perceptions, she’s so angry shesseeing red. Not a good sign for Lucy.

      1. HueSatLight

        thejeff pointed out another scene where the red background preceded the red background. https://www.dumbingofage.com/knows/ I think it’s called diegetic, but I’m not like an art term expert.

  40. Synnerman

    I hear car breaks screeching… they’re going to be screeching until this strip updates tomorrow.

    It’s going to be “dramatic tension tinnitus.”

  41. JessWitt

    Put those dagger eyes away, Linda.

    1. Angel

      that’s basically her default look tho

  42. fireprincesslily

    Uh oh I see that looks in Linda’s eye. Sorry Lucy you had her approval for all of eight hours. Sal not delivering a second day of Danny tripped you up. But that’s not Sal or Danny’s fault either.

    Linda just sucks ass.

    1. Archieve

      I don’t know if it was even real approval, Sal called out Linda’s dinner behaviour as fake which Linda didn’t bother to deny, I think any positive treatment of Lucy would have been more about making Sal feel her opinions matterd as a reward for dating Danny then thinking Lucy was a good match for her golden boy.

      1. fireprincesslily

        Oh for sure

  43. James

    So is Linda drunk right now or just openly bitter after the earlier Sal encounter, cause this isn’t in any way out of character for her, but something about her facial expressions the last couple strips seem off even considering she’s in a bad mood/suspicious about Walky and Lucy.

    1. Angel

      she didn’t need to be tipsy to be unpleasant before but hopefully if walky ends up acting liek a submissive dog and ‘letting’ her treat his gf badly it’d lead to a brreak up which is better for the mboth in the long run

    2. DashWallkick

      I think Willis is hitting the glaring stare harder to emphasize just how much the roles have flipped and Walky is incapable of pleasing her. He’s pulled up his grades and has a creative outlet where he can express himself; clearly this is the influence of the sweet Christian girl leading him astray.

      I didn’t hate Linda before but this arc is making me loathe her.

  44. HueSatLight

    It’s a shame, Walky and Lucy being goofballs at the beginning of yesterday’s strip is the best they’ve clicked organically in a long time. And she’s right about the webcomic, it’s something he’s figured out how to keep interested in, and adapted to not getting in the paper. It was a good choice, he’s learning things he should be learning and wouldn’t get from a class.

    This is not going to go well, but she’s standing up to Linda on behalf of Walky. I guess we’ll see if Walky joins her. Thinking about Joe and Joyce standing up to Carol, and also Sarah’s advice regarding Walky and standing up to his parents.

    1. Archieve

      So far its less standing up to Linda, more assuming that Linda will be genuinely proud of her son if she takes the time to learn about his real interests. She first needs to realize and accept that Linda does not like her son, she like the imagery version in her head.

  45. AlexaSpuds

    Putting aside the fact Linda is consistently horrible in every way, Lucy really isn’t doing herself any favors by having 0 tact or self awareness.

    Like she’s clearly not a moron, so why is she so goddamn bad at thinking before she speaks, like jesus it’s so clear this girl was sheltered because no one can be that smart and that gullible.

    1. Angel

      yeah it was clearly not a passion for walky despite him wanting to still do it after ‘losing’ to joyce (even tho he originally wanted to enter iti n the school paper for money) but i imagine unless ur parents are super supportive or artistically inclined themselves most ppl would not want their parents read any comics, let alone stuff like fanfics. b

    2. Jamie

      Lucy and Linda are fairly similar in that both of them have strong beliefs on how the world should work and the will to force the world to bend to their whims. This blinds them to how the world actually works.

      Their difference is mostly in that Linda has both power and shitty beliefs, whereas Lucy has basically no power and some merely overly-optimistic beliefs.

    3. Archieve

      Lucy definitely sheltered, the way she unironically told her brother to order a random table of students to be her friends shows just how little she’s ever had to fight for herself or someone else.

    4. Chubsius

      Wasn’t it a gag a while ago that Lucy is kind of a carbon copy of Joyce, but with less fundamentalism?

  46. shrub

    Gotta say Linda’s got it going on at the moment, just purely on looks

  47. Reltzik

    Lucy’s 0 for 2 on the not spilling beans front…

    1. Reltzik

      Er, wait, no, last time was Amber…

  48. Angel

    has it been polished up to have more than just one running joke b/c i dont think his art’s gotten better but i imagine his moms not interested in ‘artistic’ endeavors unless it’d make a lot of money

  49. Hmrc4evr

    Wow.

    Is Linda’s middle name Dyson? Cause she really sucks at being a parent…or remotely human.

  50. BBCC

    Who said it was going to be a career, Linda?

  51. Gnome

    Let me invent a reason why my favorite child isn’t successful as I thought he should. Obviously it is a hobby and a girlfriend who isn’t properly running his life. It cannot be that I basically ignored him and taught him he just needs to coast as a kid because I was punishing the kid who acted out for.my attention. I must prove it is not my failure as a mother rather then do anything to actually help my kid who seems to be taking responsibility and growing.

  52. Bryy

    1) Wow, Linda def just turned something completely unrelated to Lucy to “the black person did it”.

    2) I just got that Mary thinks that she scared Jennifer straight.

  53. Doopyboop

    Well, that explains why Walky has always come off as a kid who had no interests or hobbies aside from watching cartoons. That was probably the ONE escape his mother allowed him, everything else was garbage getting in the way of a medical degree.

    1. Chubsius

      Cartoons is something you do while hiding from the yelling that’s going on in another part of the house.

  54. Plonker

    Dammit, Lucy. I refuse to believe anyone could be oblivious enough to blurt shit out that will definitely get a (boy)friend in trouble with their parents, like that.

    Though it might explain why she never managed to maintain any friendships long enough to get an opportunity to learn the basics of shutting the f up and not inadvertently selling your friends down the river with their parents, when they’re in an ugly mood and looking for shit to be angry about with their kid.

    1. Doopyboop

      I think Lucy was compelled by the urge to not make her boyfriend’s mom angry by not answering. She’s still desperately hoping she can earn Linda’s blessing and honestly… Lucy’s such a sweet girl, I’m certain she’s never disappointed an adult in her life up to this point. If a parent is gonna press her, she will spill. She definitely should have heeded Walky’s gesture though. Now that she’s spoken, she has to keep to it.

      1. Archieve

        It’s also clear that Lucy’s operating under the assumption that his parents will be proud of all of his accomplishments, too bad his parents aren’t as nice as the typical sitcom family.

  55. Proto

    Linda if you squint any harder your eyes are just gonna shut

  56. Da Boy

    This will somehow end in physical violence…

  57. ValdVin

    We need to showing a week of The Comics Curmudgeon. She just may stroke out.

  58. Alan in DC

    Is it still a “web” comic if the primary intended delivery medium is paper?

    Or does Lucy call it that because that’s the only term she knows?

    1. Tan

      Joyce’s comic is the one that made it to paper. Walky’s is solely online.

      1. Alan in DC

        Ah, I thought they alternated. Thx.

  59. Rabisch

    I have the weird feeling that soon the audience around this happy family will stop watching the game and start watching the two kids argue with the furious, visibly drunk lady who blabber deeply offensive nonsense. I hope for a standing ovation when the two will leave saying her to go to hell.

  60. Yeet

    this is genuinely really good writing. otherwise I wouldn’t hate linda even half as much. it’s like dealing with my own family but with racism added.

  61. Heather

    I’d say to Linda that it could be a hobby not necessarily a career yet (I mean until at least a certain level of success and work ethic is established it would be far far too early for such talk) but given Walky’s grade cliff jump and not having his own game system (despite family likely to afford it) she probably views such things as distracting. What a miserable existence. To not have anything not based on career climbing. And maybe a football game or two. But like Walky is not interested and even that in previous comics had them in important seats smoozing. Not like now. Guess Lucy is not seen as worth it.

    Also an ´inappropriate’ gf would also be distracting. Goddamn it.

    I mean the sad thing is in a attempt to prove it’s nothing to do with any other ‘issues’: she might jump on the stupid Rom com plan they made as evidence of this. Like she might not even do it consciously even. I don’t think Linda thinks it has has anything to do with it. There will always be some other convenient reason to point to for reasons as to why she’s not happy because the perfect person simply does not exist and cannot ever exist. But it wouldn’t perhaps get her goat in an alternate universe where some demographics shifted. But she’ll never realise it or allow herself to.

  62. Willoughby Chase

    Hi, Mum

    How you doing?

  63. Needfuldoer

    Aw dang, all these strips have red panels.

    (I know it’s just the paint on the wall, but the symbolism is what matters!)

  64. Vulcanodon

    We’re here to enjoy a sportsball game, Linda.

    (Lucy is sweet. I get the feeling she was raised by kind people, so the unkindness of the world will be a hard lesson. Not that it’s ever easy for anyone.)

    1. Pergola

      Lucy is secretly a Disney Princess in training. She must now endure hardships with a song in her heart until her Shining Prince has grown strong enough to rescue her.

    2. Hrodvitnir

      Thank you. The people shitting on Lucy for not having a lock on dealing with Walky’s shit family are really getting under my skin. She’s not my favourite character, but who here would have dealt perfectly with this crap as an 18-19 yo? And yes, she clearly is sheltered, which is 0% her fault!

  65. Adept

    Again, I can only hope Linda isn’t based on any real person in the creator’s life. I know such relentlessly negative people exist, but I steer well clear of them.

  66. Hof1991

    So Amber brought up hacking his failing grades and Lucy brings up a newspaper comic. Walky should leave his girlfriends at home.

    1. Amelie Wikström

      I think the problem is nobody can tell Linda “anything” without risking escalating to another fit of shrieking hysteria. Well, anything other than “your special boy has been accepted to medical school at a younger age than anyone thanks to his unbelievably good grades and he’s marrying future president Keener.”

      At least so far this scene, she hasn’t done anything but react to everything with suspicion and negativity. It’s the kind of attitude that makes people stop talking to you.

      1. Needfuldoer

        Linda: “He’s not the youngest! Doogie Howser was PRACTICING at sixteen!”

        Whoever: “Ma’am, that was just a TV show.”

        Linda: “AND HE HAD A TV SHOW!”

  67. Ray

    Too late comment to be seen, but I’m snrking with my head in my hands over here at the metajoke of her getting upset about the apparent time-waste and Lacking career choice of a webcomic…in a webcomic that literally helps pay the bills.

    1. spriteless aunty

      I see you Ray. Also I think you’re the first person to mention it, although people did mention Hiveworks.

    2. Furubatsu

      I mean, you’re not wrong…

  68. Furubatsu

    Lucy seems to be aware that she’s a fictional character in a fictional setting. Unfortunately for her, she believes she’s in a Saturday morning cartoon where she can teach the racist the error of her ways by the end of the day after some wacky shenanigans and not a webcomic working through the author’s own complicated feelings about thier parents.

  69. wakeangel2001

    not EVERYTHING you do has to be your choice of career path, they’re called HOBBIES, you ever heard of it? No of course not, because you’re a joyless old woman who can’t even talk to her own daughter without picking a fight.

    1. Butt Sir

      preach

  70. Smooti

    I know we knew Linda was terrible, but *holy shit*. Why the fuck do you care that your son is making a webcomic? It doesn’t have to be a career. It can just be a thing he’s doing.

    If you wanna tell him he should try to focus on his classes *more*, sure, but that’s not a discussion to have while at a basketball game regardless, honestly.

  71. The Jighole Man

    Linda’s the kind of person that sees a child smiling, and tells it to stop.

    1. CardinalFan

      You didn’t get the memo? Recreation time is serious business. There is to be no smiling and definitely no joy of any type. The beatings will continue until morale improves.

  72. pope suburban

    Lucy, just Hulk out for once. Go off. Stand up and be heard. I don’t believe in this relationship but I do believe that Lucy is a fundamentally decent person who does not deserve this shit.

  73. MK15

    Nothing wrong with having a hobby! No one’s suggesting that he should try and turn a college comic into a career or anything, that’s just silly

    😉

  74. Mancuso

    Starting to suspect that our man Willis may have a hang-up or two about mothers. Or parents. But mostly mothers.

  75. elfroyalty

    lucy supports her boy and his interests and hobbies! and, y’know, linda, perhaps you would benefit from having interests and hobbies outside of micromanaging your childrens’ lives :)!!

  76. Jude Deluca

    This woman just needs to have a goddamn breakdown at this point. Completely snap. The longer it builds the worse it’s gonna get.

    1. Quirdry Tawks

      Worse? I think we’ve already reached The Nuclear Option.

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