My real name is actually Christopher but with a K like “Kris” but anyway since I find both Sarah and Liz pretty attractive I feel really called out right now.
It’s not a _happy_ smile, but it is most definitely a smile. Revenge, spite, and schadenfreude all have very good reasons for existing. Like a check on psychopathy. Unfortunately that doesn’t mesh well with modern systems, so the psychos presently have an edge. That never lasts forever though.
I really want to see what Liz is trying to run/hide from. My current guess is that she’s known as a christian girl at her current school. So she wants to flee it so that people see her as more than just a girl who folllws the bible and wouldn’t do anything improper.
I personally don’t see why she doesn’t just stop acting like that, myself. She clearly doesn’t actually give a shit about any of these ‘friends’ if she’s willing to leave them forever on a whim and possibly scare them into thinking she’s dead somewhere by disappearing and leaving almost all of her stuff. So, since she doesn’t actually care, there’s no downside to just acting like herself, whoever she decides that is.
She could just stop. She could pull a reverse-Jennifer and change up her social circle by stopping pretending who she is. But instead, somehow, it’s better to just take off and couch-surf forever with the one person in her life she can be absolutely sure will NOT be on the side of ‘eternal truancy is the answer!!’
I don’t necessarily not like Liz, but I’ve completely run out of patience for the level of childish she’s performing.
Spencer
Emotionally turbulent 18 year olds tend not to come up with the most immediately rational and perfect solution to a problem, let alone ones involving struggles regarding social groups.
Liz’s friends want her to stay a Silly Jesus Girl and would also resent her not being such anymore, which is not at all apropos to a certain other character.
DudeMyDadOwnsaDealership
Drama runs in the family, apparently. Sarah’s flamboyant level of morose does compare to Liz’s free spirit crap that she’s been doing so far…
But yes, Liz is showing a bad case of ‘College Freshman Who Acts Like They Think They’re Still in High School’ and her Brady Bunch-assed attempts at dissing her party-pooper big sister make her come off like Billie at the beginning of the series, sans the toxic ‘Alpha bongo’ persona and crazy levels of alcoholism.
I dunno as someone who hates driving, I’d probably appreciate this running soap opera in the back seat to take my mind off the misery that is being on the freeway.
The freeway (interstate) isn’t misery anywhere nearly as much as US highways in Indiana. That state needs to learn how to use overpasses instead of putting a stoplight in every podunk town with a bar, church, and/or McDonald’s.
Needfuldoer
[Laughs in Masshole]
Our roads horrible, Route 9 can’t decide what it wants to be, we cram I-95 down a single lane 20 MPH offramp, and the Lowell Connector is an expressway just ends at a T intersection with a light.
AbelUndercity
And then there’s Boston.
Raen
…yeah, I remember being parked at the Chinatown gate, with my bumper on the sidewalk, talking to the driver of the fire truck that took it off.
Kimi
All of New England can be pretty bad with the “you can’t get there from here”, and good luck if there is a road closure, but I think all east coast cities tend to be horrible. Boston just has a special place in the “you really don’t want to drive here” list. The only thing going for Boston and the east coast cities are the subways and other public transportation. West coast cities are still pretty behind on that front, which makes it more of a requirement to drive (like Seattle, Vancouver BC, etc.).
Most of the bad stuff that I have found out west is just that they haven’t kept up with the increase in traffic (like the north/south connection for Spokane that they haven’t finished in like 20 years). New England and east coast cities all have the issue of old roads formally being cow paths or some such nonsense, and now everything is so built up that putting in any good roads is difficult.
thejeff
Yeah, driving in Boston is easy. You find a place to park as soon as possible and take the T everywhere.
Victor
Indiana is probably the worst state to drive through on the interstate. You get endless corn, then endless construction in Indianapolis, then more corn. At night it’s worse, it’s so flat that it’s disorienting, it feels like going uphill when it’s just flat.
Oh, and of course these days you get weird looks from strangers in gas stations because you’re the only one with a mask, and you just want to get out as quickly as possible, because you’re the only one with a mask.
Kimi
I just remember southern Ontario being hell, especially in the Toronto area. All the construction didn’t help, especially if you didn’t know that they had the east half of a town’s roads all closed due to rail work on labor day weekend. The people were really helpful, except for all their alternatives were also blocked off starting that week. It didn’t get any better the time I was living there.
dn
US 30 across Indiana is one of the most annoying drives I’ve taken in recent memory. Hitting the Ohio line was a genuine pleasure. I’ll pay the I-90 tolls anytime if it means I don’t have to do that again.
She’s a reverse smile vampire. She’s got all the bats.
Geneseepaws
That’s right, if Sarah is happy that means Joyce is miserable. Willis’ first Law of Conservation of Joy. We have seen it happen this way before.
And how far have they gotten in laboratory?
I’ll never understand why city planners (or whoever’s responsible) always decide to build sidewalks in the deepest ditches possible, for maximum flooding.
Deathjavu
Huh. Sidewalks aren’t really in ditches around here, but I do know that a) roads often have ditches on the sides for drainage purposes and b) sidewalks are frequently a complete afterthought to road construction. Because people on foot aren’t the huge economic factor that drivers are.
Also, no one is responsible, as you will quickly find out if anything goes wrong. Source: I work in what I would describe to a layperson as “construction quality control”. It is *amazing* how many different directions fingers can point in.
Delicious Taffy
Fuck drivers anyway. I need to get around town and can’t afford a car, so I guess I get to play with my life if I wanna leave the house.
What about finding a future squeeze on the sidewalk lying stunned on their ass and getting them out of the cold?
Geneseepaws
Mom! Can I keep her? She followed me home.
I mentioned that I had some etchings by Yotomo in my room, and she just followed right along, nattering about Renaissance nudes and Greek Kouros art and digital advancements in pixel density.
oh i don’t know if scruples is the word. it’s more of a sense that it might as easily not have happened, so i can afford to be extravagantly generous? i dunno.
but sure, if i ever actually needed the cash i would keep it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
khn0
I’ve been in situation, skipping one meal on two at the time and found a pretty sum in cash lying on the floor, just under the classifieds board.
I was so shocked that my mind only went to: gosh people lost it, they must be in the dire right now, let’s get it where they can find it.
So I went to a close counter and explained that I found cash out of nowhere.
Pretty sure the guy enjoyed the involuntary tip.
Not living in a city, both random cash and panhandlers are pretty rare – beyond the occasional quarter.
Way back when, working a summer job for the town I was mowing a park when I found a couple of plastic baggies with $200 rolled up tight in one and a needle in the other. Figured I needed that more than whoever lost it.
186 thoughts on “Christopher”
Ana Chronistic
but did he come ON…
nobodybasically
That was Eileen.
True Survivor
This is my new favorite comment.
Thag Simmons
Tu-ra lu-ra tu-ra lu-rye ay
maarvarq
Aargh, don’t put that in my head again!
Decidedly Orthogonal
That’s what Eileen said.
Shadowsnail
It’s fine – we’re putting the Save Ferris version in your head this time.
Sirksome
My real name is actually Christopher but with a K like “Kris” but anyway since I find both Sarah and Liz pretty attractive I feel really called out right now.
Doctor_Who
Does Liz know that now you’re cheating on her with your Sarah avatar?
Amós Batista
He betrayed Sarah, but kept her on the bottom of his heart..
BBCC
Ahhhh, the sweet sound of sisters bonding.
I mean, not this, but I’m sure it’s here somewhere. XD
Yet_One_More_Idiot
I hate to be the one to tell you this, Sarah, but THAT is not a smile… xD
Decidedly Orthogonal
It’s not a _happy_ smile, but it is most definitely a smile. Revenge, spite, and schadenfreude all have very good reasons for existing. Like a check on psychopathy. Unfortunately that doesn’t mesh well with modern systems, so the psychos presently have an edge. That never lasts forever though.
michaelinasmeal
fluid bonding the same guy more like
Darkoneko
Well that sure is a mood whispash
Wack'd
i’m always a big fan of the stupidly abrupt changes in mood
Doctor_Who
Liz: You should not be doing that with your eyebrows if you want to look happy.
Sarah: Shut up. This isn’t natural for me, I’m gonna tackle it one facial feature at a time.
Lingo
Right now she’s reminding me of Lucy Van Pelt when Lucy would forget how to smile.
Kyrik Michalowski
I really want to see what Liz is trying to run/hide from. My current guess is that she’s known as a christian girl at her current school. So she wants to flee it so that people see her as more than just a girl who folllws the bible and wouldn’t do anything improper.
woobie
Good Christian girls can be even more attractive.
cbwroses
I prefer good Christian bad girls (not to be confused with bad Christians who happen to be girls).
Opus the Poet
This comment is doubleplus good.
Spencer
I mean yeah that’s the stated text. It’s how she put it to Joe and then to Sarah before she was tackled.
anonymsly
I personally don’t see why she doesn’t just stop acting like that, myself. She clearly doesn’t actually give a shit about any of these ‘friends’ if she’s willing to leave them forever on a whim and possibly scare them into thinking she’s dead somewhere by disappearing and leaving almost all of her stuff. So, since she doesn’t actually care, there’s no downside to just acting like herself, whoever she decides that is.
She could just stop. She could pull a reverse-Jennifer and change up her social circle by stopping pretending who she is. But instead, somehow, it’s better to just take off and couch-surf forever with the one person in her life she can be absolutely sure will NOT be on the side of ‘eternal truancy is the answer!!’
I don’t necessarily not like Liz, but I’ve completely run out of patience for the level of childish she’s performing.
Spencer
Emotionally turbulent 18 year olds tend not to come up with the most immediately rational and perfect solution to a problem, let alone ones involving struggles regarding social groups.
Liz’s friends want her to stay a Silly Jesus Girl and would also resent her not being such anymore, which is not at all apropos to a certain other character.
DudeMyDadOwnsaDealership
Drama runs in the family, apparently. Sarah’s flamboyant level of morose does compare to Liz’s free spirit crap that she’s been doing so far…
But yes, Liz is showing a bad case of ‘College Freshman Who Acts Like They Think They’re Still in High School’ and her Brady Bunch-assed attempts at dissing her party-pooper big sister make her come off like Billie at the beginning of the series, sans the toxic ‘Alpha bongo’ persona and crazy levels of alcoholism.
RassilonTDavros
…well, I think that might be the most terrifying facial expression Sarah’s ever made.
Needfuldoer
Top five, anyway.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/goodmorning-2/
Thag Simmons
Really hope they pay their driver extra for making them listen to this
Autogatos
I dunno as someone who hates driving, I’d probably appreciate this running soap opera in the back seat to take my mind off the misery that is being on the freeway.
Andy
The freeway (interstate) isn’t misery anywhere nearly as much as US highways in Indiana. That state needs to learn how to use overpasses instead of putting a stoplight in every podunk town with a bar, church, and/or McDonald’s.
Needfuldoer
[Laughs in Masshole]
Our roads horrible, Route 9 can’t decide what it wants to be, we cram I-95 down a single lane 20 MPH offramp, and the Lowell Connector is an expressway just ends at a T intersection with a light.
AbelUndercity
And then there’s Boston.
Raen
…yeah, I remember being parked at the Chinatown gate, with my bumper on the sidewalk, talking to the driver of the fire truck that took it off.
Kimi
All of New England can be pretty bad with the “you can’t get there from here”, and good luck if there is a road closure, but I think all east coast cities tend to be horrible. Boston just has a special place in the “you really don’t want to drive here” list. The only thing going for Boston and the east coast cities are the subways and other public transportation. West coast cities are still pretty behind on that front, which makes it more of a requirement to drive (like Seattle, Vancouver BC, etc.).
Most of the bad stuff that I have found out west is just that they haven’t kept up with the increase in traffic (like the north/south connection for Spokane that they haven’t finished in like 20 years). New England and east coast cities all have the issue of old roads formally being cow paths or some such nonsense, and now everything is so built up that putting in any good roads is difficult.
thejeff
Yeah, driving in Boston is easy. You find a place to park as soon as possible and take the T everywhere.
Victor
Indiana is probably the worst state to drive through on the interstate. You get endless corn, then endless construction in Indianapolis, then more corn. At night it’s worse, it’s so flat that it’s disorienting, it feels like going uphill when it’s just flat.
Oh, and of course these days you get weird looks from strangers in gas stations because you’re the only one with a mask, and you just want to get out as quickly as possible, because you’re the only one with a mask.
Kimi
I just remember southern Ontario being hell, especially in the Toronto area. All the construction didn’t help, especially if you didn’t know that they had the east half of a town’s roads all closed due to rail work on labor day weekend. The people were really helpful, except for all their alternatives were also blocked off starting that week. It didn’t get any better the time I was living there.
dn
US 30 across Indiana is one of the most annoying drives I’ve taken in recent memory. Hitting the Ohio line was a genuine pleasure. I’ll pay the I-90 tolls anytime if it means I don’t have to do that again.
Owlmirror
Plot twist: The driver is Christopher.
Uh, wearing a hat and muffler.
Thag Simmons
It would be very funny if they were named Chris or something.
Deathjavu
I think the go-to maneuver would be slowly turning up the radio volume until they cannot be heard. I am shocked it hasn’t already happened.
Also, this is through Carla’s corporate account, so the driver is probably being paid the absolute bare minimum rate the company has.
BarerMender
As someone who used to drive hack, I can say those long round trips pay great, even if the tip is rubbish.
Agemegos
People these days listen to podcasts and streaming music on noise-cancelling earbuds.
Agemegos
Audiobooks, too.
Agemegos
I bet you can get audiobook bibles and books of Mormon.
Deathjavu
Isn’t wearing earbuds/headphones while driving ridiculously dangerous and therefore illegal? Can’t hear honking horns, can’t hear police/ambulence sirens, etc.
Yotomoe
What’re you talking about? This is more entertaining than talk radio 😀
Kim
Honestly, I hope the drivers of this service are unionized, and have actual benefits, proper enough for the work they’re doing, in this universe.
Thag Simmons
One would hope, but I really doubt it
The Wellerman
HOLY CRAP SARAH THAT SMILE IS MENACING! ??
On that note, am I the only one who thinks she’d look SUPER cool as Lil’ Slugger from Paranoia Agent?
cbwroses
She already has the bat.
Reltzik
She’s a reverse smile vampire. She’s got all the bats.
Geneseepaws
That’s right, if Sarah is happy that means Joyce is miserable. Willis’ first Law of Conservation of Joy. We have seen it happen this way before.
And how far have they gotten in laboratory?
Reltzik
Well, Liz is miserable, so that might be enough.
Delicious Taffy
If I found a boyfriend on the sidewalk, I’d probably keep him, too. A $20 bill would be equally nice.
Deathjavu
This time of year where I live, I’d settle for finding a sidewalk that wasn’t iced over into a death trap.
Delicious Taffy
I’ll never understand why city planners (or whoever’s responsible) always decide to build sidewalks in the deepest ditches possible, for maximum flooding.
Deathjavu
Huh. Sidewalks aren’t really in ditches around here, but I do know that a) roads often have ditches on the sides for drainage purposes and b) sidewalks are frequently a complete afterthought to road construction. Because people on foot aren’t the huge economic factor that drivers are.
Also, no one is responsible, as you will quickly find out if anything goes wrong. Source: I work in what I would describe to a layperson as “construction quality control”. It is *amazing* how many different directions fingers can point in.
Delicious Taffy
Fuck drivers anyway. I need to get around town and can’t afford a car, so I guess I get to play with my life if I wanna leave the house.
Reltzik
What about finding a future squeeze on the sidewalk lying stunned on their ass and getting them out of the cold?
Geneseepaws
Mom! Can I keep her? She followed me home.
I mentioned that I had some etchings by Yotomo in my room, and she just followed right along, nattering about Renaissance nudes and Greek Kouros art and digital advancements in pixel density.
milu
yeah i feel like any cash i find on the ground doesn’t really belong to me. i just hand it to the first panhandler i run across.
Delicious Taffy
I’m too broke for that kinda scruples. I see a bill on the sidewalk, that thing’s goin’ in my wallet so I don’t get arrested for vagrancy.
milu
oh i don’t know if scruples is the word. it’s more of a sense that it might as easily not have happened, so i can afford to be extravagantly generous? i dunno.
but sure, if i ever actually needed the cash i would keep it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
khn0
I’ve been in situation, skipping one meal on two at the time and found a pretty sum in cash lying on the floor, just under the classifieds board.
I was so shocked that my mind only went to: gosh people lost it, they must be in the dire right now, let’s get it where they can find it.
So I went to a close counter and explained that I found cash out of nowhere.
Pretty sure the guy enjoyed the involuntary tip.
thejeff
Not living in a city, both random cash and panhandlers are pretty rare – beyond the occasional quarter.
Way back when, working a summer job for the town I was mowing a park when I found a couple of plastic baggies with $200 rolled up tight in one and a needle in the other. Figured I needed that more than whoever lost it.
Bagge
Stooooooory time!
Suet
Oi! No Christopher robbin‘ on my watch!
Stephen Bierce