159

Chromosome
Posted on May 31, 2012 by David M Willis

159 thoughts on “Chromosome”

  1. SkepticJ

    This can only end in tears.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      If they end up watching ‘Graveyard of the Fireflies’ they might.

      1. AliaPie

        That’s one of my favorite movies, but I never want to see it again. I’d rather not bawl like a baby again.

        1. Kirt Dankmyer

          That’s exactly how I feel about it.

        2. Garret Sylvar

          Am I the only one who didn’t cry at that movie? Don’t get me
          wrong, it’s a very sad movie, but the fact it shows you they’re going to die sort of ruins the impact for me

        3. fangshinobi

          I think it was the intro about them being dead that started the tears for me.

        4. Jenny Creed

          That’s how tragedy works. If a sad thing happens with no warning, it’s shocking and horrific. If you can see it coming from far away and know nothing can change it, it’s disempowering and hopeless.

          And Grave of the Fireflies is the saddest thing I’ve seen second to the deaths of my own children.

      2. Kernanator

        What are you talking about? Graveyard of the Fireflies was the best comedy ever! Remember the part where the sister died? HILARIOUS!

        1. Joseph Harner

          I don’t know…. I wasn’t too thrilled about that fox’s vile firefly killing tendencies…. It really made me want to cry more than laugh. =(

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          You would have loved Narutaru then, it’s like Pokemon but if it was written by Lovecraft.

        3. Kernanator

          …I like Pokemon.

        4. Bek359

          The more relevant question: How much do you like H.P. Lovecraft?

        5. AJBulldis

          I don’t know any nerd who, having heard of Lovecraft and familiarized themselves with his work, does not at least pretend to like him. Though sometimes they point out his racism.

        6. AngryBamboo

          Cthulu used incite madness, its super effective!

        7. AngryBamboo

          Cthulu used incite madness, its super effective!

        8. N0083rP00F

          The Doctor used time loop – it is/was/will be very effective.

        9. Telos

          Ah! Thank you! I have been trying to remember the name of narutaru for months! I saw the few first episodes, then forgot what it was called and could never find it again!

      3. Barf Ninjason

        It’s just Grave of the Fireflies, isn’t it?

      4. Cheredarenee

        I know, right?!?

      5. tahrey

        Or Transformers: The Movie
        🙁

        Or heck, Totoro itself, for a variety of reasons ranging from over-empathy with the characters to taking offense at its sturdy embrace of animism and complete disregard for any kind of western religious influence.

        I think we’re probably talking TV cartoons, though. I’ll have to click back a couple comics to re-gather the context.

        1. begbert2

          …Why would Totoro have any western religious influence? It’s an eastern movie.

          And if you’re aiming to be offended by that movie, I’d think the bath scene would do it for you. Nudity!

    2. Kirt Dankmyer

      Actually, I think Joyce serving as a beard to Ethan has a lot of potential for fun… for us. 🙂

  2. Mkvenner

    Swing and a miss.

  3. Jen Aside

    Yeah, that’s totally a rape-face on Ethan.

    Sarah’s next lesson: How to use teh GAYDAR

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Nah, that’s more of a guilty grin than a raep-face, the eyes need to be more sinister.

      1. Thor

        I know it’s an internet meme and all that, but seriously, folks, rape isn’t a joke, and those who are triggered by that will likely thank you not to bandy the word around.

        1. TheBenenator

          Like me.

          Considering a very close friend of mine was raped and got pregnant from it.

          *RAGEFACE*

        2. tahrey

          Your avatar has probably never been more appropriate.

          Mike would make a ton of tasteless dead baby and gang-rape jokes just to score a reaction, but would also likely go to town, city, and several suburbs on an actual rapist.

      2. Jen Aside

        Well, I guess sarcasm is lost on the Internet, too. Lesson learned…?

        [spelled out]’cause Ethan has this face like he couldn’t rape a girl if his life depended on it[/spelled out]

        [[n/m]]

        [[[crawls back into hole in the wall]]]

  4. phroggonalog

    ZING

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Don’t you mean PING!

      1. Aizat

        Hey, who Pinged?

        1. Kernanator

          What’s my PING?

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          The thing that comes before PONG, natch!

        3. Yotomoe

          Who’s SnooPING as usual?

        4. Aizat

          Don’t you mean “SnooPING AS usual I see?”

      2. Rex Hondo

        One ping only, pleashe.

        1. Jimmy

          Re-verify our range to target.

      3. Plasma Mongoose

        (For those ppl who don’t know, a ping is when you send an active signal from your sonar in the hopes of detecting boats in quiet mode.)

        1. Kernanator

          It also has something to do with your Internet signal.)

        2. Yotomoe

          or pretty much any signal being sent out.)

        3. Kryss LaBryn

          Marco.

        4. Björn

          *sigh* Polo.

        5. tahrey

          (It’s also what most pro golfers have written on their hats for some reason)

          html tags are fun

        6. Roborat

          Also, my favourite character in Megatokyo.

  5. Regalli

    I’ll get the trombone.

    1. Yotomoe

      http://sadtrombone.com/

  6. Plasma Mongoose

    Unless Joyce has the XXY set of chromosomes, which in thqat case, she will STILL be safe.

    1. tahrey

      Maybe he’s into that, though?

      I was already wondering if they may end up hitting it off in a pity-friends-with-benefits way that involved some way of producing arousal without mutual attraction…

      Yes I know he’s 100%, Kinsey-six gee-ay-why, but I wouldn’t put it past The Willis to complicate his characters’ relationships with something weird like that. Maybe Ethan can be dreaming of all the cute guys in his class whilst Joyce “explores” him in a variety of ways. Then returns the favour purely as a courtesy, not getting anything much out of it… nor being tempted to provide “just the tip”.

      And Sarah cowers on her bunk under the covers hoping they don’t come any closer.

    2. Vibbles

      I- I thought people with Klinefelter’s were generally phenotypically male and therefore WOULD be in Ethan’s bracket…

      Not that he’s really the predator-type-of-dude anyway, so XXY Joyce would STILL be safe inasmuch. But “maleness” is determined by the presence of a Y chromosome; people with Klinefelter’s syndrome may be slightly more “feminine” in appearance or not depending on other genetic factors, but as far as I know, are all entirely physically male and aren’t anything in-between.

  7. Ridureyu

    SARAH + ETHAN OTP!!!

    If Sarah becomes a dude, I guess.

    1. Yotomoe

      It’s happened before

  8. Sensedog

    Yes indeed, this may end in hilarious tragedy.

  9. Yotomoe

    Damn, that’s some grade A gay-dar Sarah’s got there

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Only the A-Grade ones can detect Straight Gays.

      1. Yotomoe

        And Grade-B can only detect Bi-sexuals

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          and undercover cops posing as hookers can detect Buy-sexuals.

        2. Moonshine McGee

          And undercover hookers posing as cops can detect bachelor parties.

        3. Kernanator

          And undercover bachelors posing as Buy-sexuals can detect your mom! If you pay them a nickel.

      2. Aizat

        And only the S-grades can determine whether if they are the depraved type or not.

        1. Yotomoe

          and V-grade can detect those who are deprived or not

        2. Rognik

          But what if you’re deprived AND depraved?

  10. Kensou

    She sees the truth of things.

  11. Khantalas

    Everyone but Joyce can apparently notice Ethan is gay.

    ((Well, everyone buy Joyce and Amber.))

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      You can buy Amber and Joyce? For how much?

      1. Khantalas

        20.000 dollars, plus tax.

        1. Lawzlo

          Does that include shipping and handling?

        2. JK9000

          Only handling.

        3. Azukar

          I see what you did there, and it is a stroke of brilliance.

        4. tahrey

          I hereby rename you “Lulzlo”.

        5. Khantalas

          ((Owning another human being, fictional character or not, might be illegal in your country of residence. Please consult your lawyer before purchasing Joyce and Amber.))

      2. Jackson

        Sadly, Joyce is still in the development phase.

  12. Kernanator

    And thus, we now know Sarah’s deep dark secret.

    SHE CAN READ MINDS!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Sarah sure is a surly Jean Gray.

      1. Julio Dvulture

        If I could read every stupid thought people have I would be surly too.

        1. Kernanator

          Exactly.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          If I could read minds, I would end up knocking mothafuckas out!”

      2. Yotomoe

        Jean Gay.

      3. Z

        Being “surly Jean Grey” would put her one personality trait over ACTUAL Jean Grey who has always been so bland and personality free that she can’t even manage anything as interesting as a decent superhero name without an alien entity involved.

        Seriously, that should have been their first clue that Pheonix wasn’t really Jean… she developed a personality for a little while.

        1. Makkabee

          I hear there’s an ointment for that.

        2. John

          Marvel Girl was a nice name 🙁

  13. AliaPie

    Whooooosh over Joyce’s head.

  14. Wack'd

    How can everyone tell instantly? Ethan is one of the least stereotypical gay people I’ve seen in any given work of fiction!

    1. Yotomoe

      It’s in his eyes. It radiates out of him in such a powerful way that it cannot be drawn

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Sarah can detect even low levels of gaidiation.

      1. Yotomoe

        what happens to those exposed to gamma gaidiation?

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          When they get really mad, their interior design and fashion senses expand to military grade fabulousness.

        2. Yotomoe

          The Fashionable Hulk

        3. Bryn

          “Do make me angry” “You would like me when I’m angry”

          “Well, this living room would anyway”

        4. Dragon Nataku

          Hulk SMASH! And then remodels!

    3. gangler

      The Walkyverse is popular media in the Dumbiverse. As such their stereotypes are a little bit different. Specifically transformers and cartoons are a big tell here.

    4. AndysDrawings

      Go watch Happy Endings. Max is great.

    5. tahrey

      Maybe its in his voice, or how he moves/carries himself. Two things that don’t come across very well in a comic without it being made cringingly stereotypical. I’ve known two or three guys who I never could tell whether they were almost-straight-gay, or just camp-straight. Any time I came to a presumption in my head, it was later proven wrong. Could be Sarah is presuming the former, and Joyce the latter. Or just thinks he’s a real-life version of Ned Flanders…

      1. Makkabee

        Not sure she even knows who Ned Flanders is. She just revealed she wasn’t allowed to watch The Simpsons, after all.

    6. Jackson

      Theory: anyone can instantly tell that Ethan is gay, if it would make Joyce’s ignorance the butt of the punchline.

      I suspect there will be many opportunities to test this theory in the near future.

  15. Rex Hondo

    Did Sarah and Ethan just do a soulgaze? Which one is the wizard, and how is Joyce going to react when she finds out?

    1. Kernanator

      You have joined my Cool People list.

      Anyway, my money’s on Sarah.

      1. HeatPhoenix

        And the both of you have joined mine. I think it’s Sarah, she has that knowing look. As if she had seen too much, things from the Nevernever.

        1. Rex Hondo

          Lots of things start to make sense. Ryan the rapist didn’t escape. He was a predator from the Nevernever that just reverted to ectoplasm (which went totally unnoticed among the rest of the mess at a college party) when Sarah beat him to “death.”
          Also, no matter who the wizard is, I think we can all agree that Joe is obviously a White Court vampire.

    2. Jetstream

      Obviously Ethan is the Wizard, as he doesn’t get to have nice things.

      1. Kernanator

        No no no, it’s obviously Sarah. She has the attitude and everything!

  16. Kernanator

    >–Sarah’s comment–>

    \O/
    | <— Joyce
    ^

  17. Brasca1

    Sarah’s gaydar works just fine.

    1. ryan

      sarah doesn’t know because of her gaydar.
      sarah knows because she reads DoA.

  18. Edd

    Sarah has spot-on gaydar and some good jokes. Sadly Joyce never took biology (?) earlier and is too ignorant to connect the dots.

    1. Steven

      Biology is a lie made up by Evolutionists to lead you astray.

    2. Shade

      Well to be fair the XX/XY thing like most high school explanations of biology are alot simpler than it actually is.

      1. tahrey

        This is a concept known as “lies to children”, where you introduce the big ideas (from all parts of the educational spectrum) initially in the most dumbed down form possible without actually making anything up, then gradually add the various complicating flavours as they get older and more able to deal with it.

        1. Shade

          Oh I understand perfectly why it’s done. Biology is pretty fricking complicated at the higher levels.

      2. tahrey

        I mean, how are you going to expect an elementary schooler to deal with the idea of Klinefelter’s or AIS? Or the religious parents of a homeschooled girl, even…

  19. Raen

    …Joyce got over her fear fast.

    (Wait, how does Sarah know Ethan?)

    1. Kernanator

      She doesn’t know him. She’s just that good.

  20. Henry

    Joyce Brown is… CAPTAIN OBLIVIOUS!

    1. Yotomoe

      “Look in the sky!!!It’s the Oblivious Signal!!!”
      “I don’t see it”

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        It wasn’t obvious enough…

      2. tahrey

        See what? Sorry, I was daydreaming about how cool Jesus is 🙂

  21. sad

    Didn’t take Sarah long to see past Ethans cunning ruse.

  22. Stone

    “check-plus”
    Oh shit, I actually get this joke

    1. tahrey

      Can you explain it? The interweb’s got nothing, apart from a one-line description on Urban Dictionary that tells us nothing we couldn’t learn from the comic itself.

  23. Ryan Balis

    Ethan’s blush marks his gayness from miles away

    1. Bekah

      I guess you didn’t notice that all of Willis’s characters have rosy cheeks…

      Oh wait…

  24. iSaidCandleja-

    At least this will finally force Ethan to be honest with Joyce (and himself). Unless Sarah decided not to say anything in an attempt to save her from a mental BSOD.

  25. Cheredarenee

    Sorry Ethan the only one you’re fooling is… Joyce…

  26. slicedtoad

    Isn’t it Joyce’s opinion that gays are just [i]confused[/i] or something? How will she react to a gay guy pretending to be straight?

    1. Bekah

      I don’t see how not mentioning your sexuality is “pretending to be straight”.

      1. Eggy

        I – but – what – huh

        INTENTION IS THE MOTHER OF ACTION

        1. Shadlyn Wolfe

          So if I don’t mention to someone immediately that I’m fond of peach salsa, I’m hiding my love of peach salsa?

          In that case…I’m ready. I want the world to know. I *love* peach salsa.

        2. Roborat

          That’s nice. But I have to ask, how do you dance with peaches?

        3. Shadlyn Wolfe

          When they’re safely tucked inside my belly, I can dance with them all night and they’ll never miss a step!

        4. das-g

          Not ‘with’, ‘to‘.

  27. Uniqueantique

    But was Ethan trying to fool Joyce? I think he was just asking as a friend asks a friend to spend some time together. A lot of people know he’s gay, he dosen’t hide it, but he doesn’t advertise either. And yeah, Sarah is awesome.

  28. John42

    “Accelerated Gaydar” would make a great band name

    1. Krashthemystro

      Best Band Name ever.

      1. Maycroft

        Best coctail name ever.

    2. turkishproverb

      …Now I need to learn to play an instrument.

      1. Kernanator

        I’ll sing.

  29. Krashthemystro

    JOYCE! How did you not catch that your Christian not stupid!*headdeskslam*

    1. HeatPhoenix

      Some would say those are synonyms.

      1. Rex Hondo

        Even most reasonable people would have to admit that they are at the very least not mutually exclusive.

        1. AJBulldis

          This is kind of an awful line of conversation.

        2. Jackson

          Could be worse.

          I’d say it’s actually going halfway decent, considering that this is the internet.

    2. begbert2

      Cite that she’s not stupid?

  30. turkishproverb

    Sarah’s got good Gaydar.

  31. narmenduke

    Huh. Ethan’s never seemed that obviously gay to me. Maybe I’m just missing something. Or maybe Sarah CAN SEE INTO YOUR SOUL.

    1. Arkadi

      “Maybe”?

    2. Shadlyn Wolfe

      Or maybe he just put on his happy gay face for her so that she would reassure Joyce? After all, while Joyce’s caution is commendable, it’s probably awkward for him. “Oh, I don’t want to go to YOUR room because I’m afraid you might rape me. Come sit near the girl who hits rapists, instead, ok?”

      (And for what it’s worth, I approve of Joyce’s decision here. She’s trying to take precautions so she doesn’t make the same mistake twice. Overreaction is a natural part of that process. Quite aside from his Gayness, now someone she trusts knows where she’ll be.)

  32. Jimmy

    Sarah must have traveled into the future and stolen Bender’s gaydar.

    1. turkishproverb

      Or dumbing of age takes place in the Channel Awesome universe, and she stole it from insano.

  33. Jimbo

    she knows too much!

  34. TARDIS With A Hat

    Dammit, that’s one impressive Gaydar, it’s fueled by the Rules of Funny

  35. Martin S Smith

    Still a little weird seeing Ethan interacting with Joyce after reading Shortpacked! for so long.

    And yes, Sarah clearly must be psychic and/or a witch. Burn her!

    1. begbert2

      She also can talk without dropping the pencil from her mouth – a talent I would normally only expect of smokers. As she doesn’t appear to smoke, I can only assume that demonic powers are being employed here.

      1. Mrelegos

        Or, like myself, she has a habit of pencil chewing. Spend enough time working with that habit, it becomes simple to talk with a pen in ones mouth.

  36. iggy_rock

    I wanna know what Ethan sees in the first panel. He seems totally in awe of it whatever it is. 🙂

  37. TJ Baltimore

    This storyline actually makes me feel really sad in anticipation. I think Joyce will fall hard for Ethan, and when he finally realizes that he can’t be straight, it will break Joyce’s heart. It happened to my female friend in college, except that I wasn’t pretending anything: we were just good friends who like to hang out together pretty much all day.

    Not to mention that even if they remain “only friends”, that will make Joyce’s three closest friends a godless atheist, an alcoholic slut, and a hellbound homo.

    Trying to be straight can screw up Ethan a lot, too. That happened to another friend of mine after some “reparative therapy”. It really broke him, and he was never the same again.

  38. kyojikasshu

    Joyce’s face in the final panel reminds me of Faz.

  39. status

    am I the only one in the world who finds a masculine looking vulnerable handsome guy squirming with discomfort absolutely hot? Oh god!! 😀 *watches Willis back away slowly*

  40. Narf

    My GOD Sarah is an insufferable conga.

    …what?

  41. Sambo

    Joyce, how did you not catch on to that??

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