147

Clipboard
Posted on December 17, 2010 by David M Willis

147 thoughts on “Clipboard”

  1. Teowulf

    Regret if I’ve ever seen it.

  2. Jen Aside

    Two can ask that question, Joe! =D

    I mean, hell of a set-up…

    1. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

      HAHA! Go Joyce! Making sure everything’s in order first.

  3. David Herbert

    Well, at least she’s prepared.

    Was she a girl scout?

    1. Rodrigo

      I have a questionaire too for first dates. And also psychological tests. Seriously! But it never worked out.

  4. DaniellePhantom

    i still think this will work out. JOE AND JOYCE will prevail.

    1. R

      Exactly, they’ll just be one of those couples that has to take a while to be ready for each other, and it’ll be all worth it in the end.

    2. Socks

      i believe 1 of 2 things will happen
      1. joe will give up & move on to another lady
      or
      2.joe will lie & still try to get her to go to bed with him lol

  5. The A.D.D. Kidd

    Joe is already terribly frightened, you can just see it in his eyes.

  6. Samui

    JoeXJoyce? More like Joeyce!

  7. Azreal

    I realy dislike this joyce.

    1. R

      She sounds a bit like the old one (well, the old one didn’t really say Jesus as much). Remember when she was discussing their future kids’ names with Danny?

  8. Azreal

    God damit why is my avatar rachael!!!

    1. Blah

      Because nobody knows who you are or what you’re really doing here.

      BURN!

      1. Zem

        Ä‘_Ä‘

        Please note that the views of the person above me are not representative of the general opinion on these forums in any shape or form.

  9. Eri

    And usually the realization of a terrible mistake comes in the morning. Joe should be happy, look at all the time he hasn’t wasted!

    1. MrGBH

      But he misses out on all the fun stuff this way.

  10. TheAlucinaut

    I LOVE JOYCE

  11. Rognik

    15 questions just to learn what religion he is? That’s kind of excessive. Then again, that clipboard might be longer than any of us suspect.

    1. R

      Fundamentalist Christians tend to try to figure out just how “Christian” others who say they’re Christian are. At least that’s how the fundies I used to work with were. I recited the Niece Creed at them once during break, it was fun…

      1. Kamino Neko

        The Niece Creed? ‘We believe in one little girl, daughter of my sibling, creator of messes, visible and invisible’?

        1. R

          Sorry cold meds make me bad at spelling.

        2. Taryn

          That is a creed I could believe in.

        3. agentksilver

          I don’t believe in nieces. I believe that we have the same relatives, and they are welcome at family barbecues, but they are not related to me.

        4. zuche

          My four nieces would never forgive me if I attempted to disbelieve in them, and I would be sad to lose touch with them as well. Biased as I am, how could I not be impressed with children that tell bedtime stories to their books?

        5. agentksilver

          Oh, gentiles…oy vey…I’ll say you’re Orthodox and I’m Reformed.

        6. CJ

          I don’t believe in extended families at all, but rather that we all have the capacity to be at least friends. Nieces? Nephews? Y’all some crazy fundies.

        7. Lokitsu

          I guess that’s useful for getting dates

      2. Ancestral Hamster

        Do you mean the Nicean creed?

        And seconded on the “how Christian art thou” questions. Oy veh.

        1. zuche

          The correct answer to that question is, “He wants me to keep that between us.”

        2. JesseJanitect

          That’s still not how you spell it. It’s Nicene creed. And I’ve done that too. It was excellent revenge for that time when I went to a Southern Baptist summer camp and was warned not ot admit I was Catholic.

      3. Steven

        To be fair, if all the people who claimed to be Christians actually acted like Christians, there’d be no need for such a checklist.

    2. dchorror

      Sections, not questions. This is an exam you have to study for, and still might fail.

    3. Lokitsu

      Not fifteen questions, fifteen sections.

      Be afraid Joe… be very afraid

  12. Gianni

    “The next fifteen sections” Love it!

  13. Ragnal

    So much for ‘not as crazy as Walkyverse’ Joyce.

    1. Someone

      Least it’s a different kind of crazy. And at least she hasn’t stalked anyone to their dorms (that we’re aware of)

      1. Rognik

        Give her time.

  14. Lillian

    I love Joyce. If only it were that easy to check the religious/moral beliefs of prospective partners.

    1. R

      Why isn’t it? I think that’s normal first date (or sooner) material if the subject is important to you.

  15. Qaxis

    Joe believes in 90%, so long as snuggling and Joeing are synonyms.

    1. Confuzor

      Cuddling…with his penis.

      1. Confuzor

        er, “snuggling”

        1. zuche

          Yeah, he’d mistake the other word for “cudding” and get the wrong idea entirely.

      2. maggiemarmalade

        puggling? pudding? pengling?

        1. Kamino Neko

          Piddling?

          … No, that’s something else.

          Does involve Joe’s penis, though.

          …

          I wonder if he’s into that.

          …

          Yeah, I need the brain bleach, now…

        2. Wackd

          Sorry, all out. I’ve got a shotgun if you’d like.

  16. Clementine

    Awww! Snuggling! I should have a questionnaire…

    1. sainki

      not unless you are planning to be celibate for all of eternity

  17. Cheeso

    Where did she hide the clipboard?

    1. Shift

      The same place Clark Kent hides his glasses and hair-gel probably.

    2. milk experiment

      Perhaps like original Walkyverse Joyce, DoA Joyce has access to hammerspace. Instead of a jetpack and BFG, she keeps her husband-hunting equipment there.

      1. Bickendan

        WARNING: The above post has a pothole. Proceed with caution and/or abandon!

        1. Zap

          … huhwha? Is it 4 AM already? I clicked on those links… then clicked more links…

          Forget “damn you Willis”. DAMN YOU TVTROPES!!!

        2. Milosh

          What Zap said. I had just made a personal goal to never go back there, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

        3. dchorror

          See, I’m glad I’ve long since made an aversion to clicking random links.

          Thank you, Rick Astley.

        4. Kamino Neko

          Rickrolling is what made you stop clicking links? Lucky.

        5. David

          Coulda been Goatse.

        6. Lokitsu

          Ah, Goatse…

          My eyes still bleed at random intervals thanks to a “friendly link”

        7. Joebo

          2girls1cup

        8. Joebo

          still have avoided seeing it thank god.

        9. l0vot

          Thanks, i was about to enter the endless vortex of information without knowing what i was getting myself into…

      2. JesseJanitect

        You jackasses make me so glad I turned off the underline links feature on my browser. I managed to make it to the end of the comment string and was warned! Ha! I have prevailed over the addictive evil that shall not be spoken!

      3. CJ

        you monster

  18. Shift

    I’m guessing no one ever explained that most guys do not find the idea of an indepth survey exactly “romantic” to Joyce huh?

    The scary thing is, the survey was probably 100% her idea. I can just see her now explaining to her friends “What kind of man WOULDN’T want to answer this? I’ll be engaged by Fall Break!”

    So what’s it going to be Joe? Put up with all this in the off-chance she MIGHT sleep with you, or see if you can tag out with Danny?

    1. dchorror

      Once again, this kind of goes against him setting Danny up with someone. Passing off the crazy chick is not cool wingman material.

      1. Shift

        This the guy who actually asked his best friend if he could have sex with his soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend before the couple even broke up. Do you honestly think he won’t have any problem with passing off the crazy to someone else to make his own attempt at getting laid easier?

        1. Someone

          Joe could see the writing on the wall months before Danny. Hell, maybe he’d even talked in confidence with Dorothy beforehand to be prepared to deal with what Danny’d become. And every guy knows that once it’s over, she’s fair game again! Right guys? …Guys?

        2. Shift

          The Bro Code dictates you do not go after that ex-girlfriend of your bro, especially not immediately after the break-up and when they have not yet gotten over the break-up.

          Regardless of the writing on the wall, it was an uber-douche move on Joe’s part. And the previous comic has shown that Joe and Dorothy only recently talked about dealing with Danny after the break-up.

    2. agentksilver

      My boyfriend explained to me yesterday, “Do not stick your dick in crazy.” I would hope that, at the very least, he finds a way to extricate himself from the situation without passing Danny the buck.

      [it should be noted he told me this rule while reading FML aloud to me]

      1. Akilika

        You know, not sticking it in the crazy is one of those things that gets *said* a lot, much like girls have “Don’t date assholes.” Yet in the end, there seems to be something terribly appealing about each archetype, ’cause everyone does it anyway.

        (Spoken as a crazy person dating an asshole, so not much room to talk. But hey, it’s fun. 🙂

        1. agentksilver

          I’ve noticed the crazies and the assholes tend to bring out the crazy and the asshole in each other. I base this on personal experience. When I was dating an asshole, I was crazy. I’m dating a nice guy, and I’m not crazy.

      2. Bill M.

        No, the rule is “Crazy chicks usually lead to awesome sex, but bring tons of baggage. They are not girlfriend/wife material.”

  19. Alice Macher

    This reminds me of (sorry, Dave, I know you don’t like this sitcom) the long questionnaires Sheldon of The Big Bang Theory has made people answer, such as in the flashback “how they met” episode when Leonard saw him about sharing the apartment.

  20. Milosh

    And that’s why it’s her first date.

    1. Ancestral Hamster

      Agreed, although it will be her last with Joe.

      After this, Joe will hit on a cheerleader off-camera.

      1. Cha

        Man, he’s going to Joe Billie?

        1. Bickendan

          Or is Billie gonna Billie Joe?

        2. Zap

          Or is Billie gonna Joe Joe?

          … wait, this isn’t that kind of comic. Right.

        3. zuche

          “Oh no! Billie Joe!”

        4. Rognik

          Billie Joe is not my lover.

        5. Index

          Billie Joe…now that’s a fire that I’d like to see started.

        6. Bill M.

          She’s gonna jump off the Tallahatchie Bridge?

  21. Tomb

    Buwahahahahahha!

  22. Rigenstein

    This couple wont work, its goig to be interesting the development of their relationship though, also what H.R.M means?

    1. Animaniac

      H.R.M. would be His/Her Royal Majesty, however, what Joyce did up there was “hrm” which is a noise made in the throught when thinking, like “hmm” but with a slight negative or disapproving tonality.

      1. Animaniac

        err, “throat” hrm..

  23. Rigenstein

    “its going to be interesting to see the development……” my apologies for the typos, kinda sleepy right now

    1. green K

      I wonder if having a snobby brit as your avatar prompted you to correct your spelling. 😛

  24. Taryn

    Joyce is awesome. She’s totally my second favorite character. She’d be my fav if she wasn’t so religious. v.v Alas. But that happens in real life too. XD

  25. MeHael

    I’m a little impressed. I would’ve thought that Joe not being Christian would have ended the questionnaire immediately. Then again, she is the best-socialized of her whole homeschool group…

    1. Sarah

      I agree, the second he said that i thought was over. i guess christian home-school socialization is better than i thought.

    2. Keleso

      Don’t worry, she’ll convert him.

    3. Heather

      I know me too, thought then again she probably thinks she could convert him eventually.

      Strangely there used to be a big programme for that in America (and… maybe here too) I hear, about christians delibrately dating secular people to convert them once. Still probably happens, but it was actually an idea which was spread among some sects of christianity as a good idea.

      But then they had to stop because a lot of the christians deconverted instead rather than convert.

      Woopsie.

    4. dchorror

      It doesn’t seem to ever have been a problem with her if the other person didn’t believe the same as she did(may be wrong on that, I’m not able to get a J&W subscription). She mostly wants the other person to respect her choice in faith.

  26. Mimi

    I hope hope HOPE that these two stay together! I loved the Joe/Joyce pairing in Walky (even more than Joyce/Walky).

  27. Joebo

    What hath God wrought?

    1. zuche

      Flaming swords, mostly.

    2. Bill M.

      Your mom, for a nickel. (Figure while I have the Mike avatar temporarily, better put it to good use.)

      1. Joebo

        Well damn, he overpaid.

  28. Socks

    wow, i think that was diffused quickly XD

  29. Robert in San Diego

    Oh yeah! This Joyce may be naive, but she isn’t exactly innocent. Or should that be the other way around>

    1. Socks

      either way she knows how to weed them out REAL good >_>;;

  30. Cha

    …how long is each section?
    And dang, Joyce is adorable!

  31. Dahlia

    Too soon too fast, don’tcha think Joyce? I mean, religion, in a way, brought me and my crush together as pals, but jeeeez…

    Joes taking this better than I thought he would O: (Poor joyce…she’s gonna find out the hard way Joe is polygamous…)

  32. dchorror

    That thing is at least three pages long and she hasn’t flipped past the first page. How small is the print that she has fifteen sections on the first page?

    1. Wackd

      Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally small print.

      1. Socks

        or she memorized the questions & is just using the clipboard for writing his answers down :O

    2. Ancestral Hamster

      It’s on a microfiche. That’s just Volumes 1-4. There’s more.

    3. dchorror

      I love that I’m still Billy, it makes all my comments seem better. Watch it change on Monday now that I’ve said this.

      I could see Joyce memorizing this, since that small of a print would probably require someone of 20/20 sight needing glasses to read it.

  33. ADHadh

    Ah, so Joe is Jewish, not German.
    Now I’m anticipating the moment he meets a certain other Jewish Transformers fan.

    1. agentksilver

      Could be a German Jew. But yeah, unlike it seems the entire rest of the commenters, I wasn’t convinced he was Jewish until he outright said it.

      1. Rognik

        He was Jewish in It’s Walky! He even said it a few times over. However, the only one I can think of immediately is his visit to the Brown house. “Go, Jews for Jesus!”

        1. David

          Joe was based on my best friend from elementary school who was Jewish, so Joe has always been Jewish.

        2. Gianni

          Jews for Jesus. Booyah!

        3. Wackd

          You had a best friend in elementary school who was a sex maniac?

        4. Pagannerd

          Elementary School Sex Maniac: Coming this Fall on Fox.

  34. ziggy78eog

    She has put some thought into this…that is so scary. Run Joe! She is not worth Joe’ing!

  35. agentksilver

    Hey, she’s doing them both a favor! Only a man willing to put up with such a questionnaire would be the man for her, and she’s letting him know she’s insane right up front. Wish the Jewish guy I dated was helpful enough to let me know he was insane right up front.

    1. zuche

      For some reason, I started reading your second sentence as: “Only one man would put up with so many questions…” in the voice of that guy who used to do all movie trailers of that sort.

  36. Aetharion

    That’s what SHE said!

    1. arjay2813

      it took this long for someone to say that? wow

      1. Aetharion

        I was kind of surprised myself.

  37. arjay2813

    i imagine him running up to danny and sarah, tagging him and yelling something, and throwing this girl in his arms while runnign off w/sarah for some rehab

  38. MM

    Sheesh, did Joyce print off the eHarmony questionnaire?

    1. JesseJanitect

      Nope, there’s a fundy-Christian version of the dating sites. She printed off (and augmented) theirs.

  39. zuche

    Run, Joe, run!

  40. Robert in San Diego

    Did the clipboard checklist evolve in Joyce’s mind as she vicariously suffered through her girlfriends’ breakups, or did she get genuine ditto/mimeograph/PDFs from her church youth group, or did her parents or other adult relatives give her the idea.

    And zuche — I don’t think Joe needs the warning. He’s already ready to take off like a rocket.

    1. zuche

      But I seldom get a chance to refer to that old show! It was like The Fugitive combined with The Littlest Hobo, with a bit of A-Team vibe thrown in.

      …This is not to say it was a very good show. I was seven when I last saw it.

      1. Robert in San Diego

        OK — TV show reference. I apologize for my earlier remark. Off to Google-land…..

  41. Someone

    I have to admit, if a woman really did this to me, I would be compelled to see it to the end; just because.

    1. dchorror

      I could see following it to the end. That’s at least polite. I could also see not going on a date afterward.

  42. Richie9999

    Joe is realizing that he messed up big time.

  43. Roborat

    Ok, I have to ask, what does HRM mean? I can’ t figure it out.

    1. Jen Aside

      Hmm? Hrm? Hurr?

    2. Animaniac

      If you don’t get it from Jen’s post, see my post above

  44. katie01

    I admit, when I first saw this, I half-expected two little shoulder-devils to pop up next to Joe. Screaming.

    1. dchorror

      I don’t think I could see them being two little devils(or a devil and an angel). It seems more likely that they would be different fetishes.

  45. Eposi

    I wonder if there’ll be a pdf of that list, and how much will we see on Monday

  46. Joulian

    Actually, for some reason, I had an ex who did this exact kind of questions to any prospect she met. Also she asked about plans for the future, family background (you had to be from a very respectable family) and current income. She didn’t ask those questions to me for some reason, though.

  47. Zem

    What’s wrong with knowing what you’re buying?

    Also, this is why online dating services don’t work.

    I really liked this follow-up on the previous strip. I wonder if Joyce will ever use her catchphrase in this continuity; you know the one.

    1. David

      I know way too many married people who met via online dating services (and the Internet) to agree that online dating services don’t work.

      1. Zem

        Oh, the internet, I’ll give you. But I do wonder how many percent success rate dating services have. (Then again, maybe it’s just prejudice…)

  48. Jackson

    Please don’t let him get past the screening process please don’t let him get past the screening process please don’t let him get past the screening process

  49. Firekeeper

    All I have to say is… GO JEWS!

  50. BD

    Joe’s getting thrown off his game….

  51. Kelsey

    RUN JOE RUN WHILE YOU CAN.

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