I’m reminded of an RPG session in college. I was one of two spectators. The other spectator had a bag of hard candy. This was before all hard candy were individually wrapped, and these weren’t. Throughout the game, they tossed a candy to each person who had their character do something amusing. There were over a dozen players, so there was a fair amount of time between each player declaring their actions, and most of them were serious actions.
One individual kept up a steady enough stream of humorous actions that he needed to crunch the hard candy he was eating to be able to consume it at the rate he was being given it. This wasn’t a problem for him. He also apparently had used dexterity as a real life dump stat, because he fumbled every candy, and it fell onto the floor. But he was apparently a big believer in the 5 second rule, because he picked them up without hesitation and popped them in his mouth each time. He may have even quoted the five second rule after someone made a comment about this early on.
To be honest, I didn’t feel like the five second rule should apply, because we were in a lecture hall in the evening after classes but before janitorial services. It was not clear that janitorial services were a daily thing. In fact, I don’t think they were, because there hadn’t been snow on the ground that day, but the floor was still visibly dirty from the day before when there had been.
If you roll enough D20s, you will sooner or later get a natural 20. And eventually he managed to actually catch one of the candies. He put it in his mouth. A moment later, he stated, “This one tastes funny.”
Another player laughed and asserted, “That’s the only one that *didn’t* fall on the floor!”
He took the wet candy out of his mouth, rolled it on the floor a bit and put it back in. “Ok, now it tastes right.”
While that wasn’t a carpetted floor, I don’t think he would’ve had a problem with carpet.
Circeus
ajdsgdfasdhjhasdfgkasfkfghjasdfga
Needfuldoer
“Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker.”
– Linus van Pelt
Ignited Thermite-level solid. Seriously, Donald Trump is president because of that guy…Him and the rest of Capital Hill, but last I checked, blend in with a crowd and you have ethical diplomatic immunity……
The only appropriate response is that still frame from the porno his twitter account liked a couple years ago, with the shocked-looking blonde lady in the red shirt and glasses.
C’mon Joyce, the candy was completely innocent here. Truly Joyce is embracing the dark side, it also explains her uncanny ability to be wherever she wants regardless of physics.
Yes, but on the other had Joyce is being bizarrely presumptuous and Robin has no good reason to divulge Becky’s secure location to anyone.
Joyce was once convinced that God had put her in charge, and now she seems to think that God died and left her in charge. No-one else has any reason to recognise her universal authority.
BBCC
She doesn’t have to disclose her secure location but saying she’s in one would be a good start.
Agemegos
As Ivy points out, Joyce is not giving Robin a fair chance to say anything. She has stormed in full of ignorance, presumption, and self-righteous indignation, and is shouting vague accusations.
BBCC
She DID give Robin a chance to answer. Twice. Second and third panel have Robin answering. Saying “Woah, chill, Becky’s fine, I’m protecting her from her dad” wouldn’t really take more time than what she says on panel two.
PhyrexianRogue
Panel 2 also has Robin offer to sit down and presumably give a more concrete explanation though. Which is usually necessary in situations like this, as the exact details matter. Only Joyce is too much in outraged protective mode to listen and seemingly refuses to accept anything other than immediate access to Becky.
BBCC
I’m pretty sure that’s what Robin intended, but I think what Joyce hears is more dismissive “Jeez, sit down kid, she’s fine.’ and it doesn’t actually clarify whether Robin is helping Becky or ‘helping’ Becky a la Toedad. Even saying ‘I gave her a head’s up’ in panel two or three would’ve clarified more.
Wereg
I mean, Joyce is also very much not acting logically here. She’s incredibly worried about her best friend, all-but panicking, and trying to sort things out as best she can.
She’s not handling this as best she can, but I’m not blaming her. Logic can be fucking hard when you’re pretty much mid-panic attack. She’s a human and she’s allowed to lose control sometimes.
ischemgeek
I should also note Joyce doesn’t seem to be aware of Robin’s coming out and political about-face, and given her experiences with toedad and Carol lately she is primed to think worst case scenario.
jmsr7
…except that “storming in full of ignorance, presumption, and self-righteous indignation, and is shouting vague accusations” is how her family’s religious group acts, and she’s channelling that. She’s very newly deconverted and the habits of a lifetime are hard to break.
But it’s incredibly rude, and Robin is dealing with the crazy person by not feeding into her bullshit. And like in real life, the crazy religious fundamentalist is attacking someone (literally in this case) for not obeying them.
Eh, I would argue she hasn’t been vague. The whole conversation was: I know what happened, (loud angry demanding accusation) I didn’t do anything, I’m looking out for her let’s sit down and talk about it with the implication that it’s a detailed discussion (loud angry accusation) Your friends is safe! (lollipop attack and shrieking demand) Robin’s behavior has been calm and she’s actually trying to reassure her instead of just shutting the door in her face.
Yeah, coming in all guns blazin’ rarely gets straight answers. It creates a conflict that didn’t necessarily have to exist, nobody’s starting off on the same page, and people are more likely to get their feelings hurt by something that wouldn’t have been said in calmer circumstances.
Hey the 5 second rule is still in effect so you can still pick it up Robin. Of course since this is Robin we’re talking about, the 30 second rule may also apply…
So . . . I just got a surprise wedding sprung on me Friday. Apparently my sister got a friend to get himself ordained while he was in Vegas last month, and they decided my fiancee and I were getting married instead of playing in the FNM this week (by convincing the store owner to let them hold it there).
Any other married people, is it weird that this doesn’t feel much different than when we were engaged? Not in a “This is a mistake!” way, just that it’s not a world-altering difference between marriage and engagement?
162 thoughts on “Clocked”
Ana Chronistic
“DON’T WASTE FOOD, WOMAN”
*Robin picks up the lollipop and sticks it back in her mouth*
AntJ
Joyce picks it up off the floor and takes a lick. “There. Now do you see I mean business?”
Everyone takes a step back
BarerMender
Lol!
He Who Abides
Then Joyce’s head explodes.
RowenMorland
DON’T WASTE FOOD, WOMAN”
*Robin picks up the lollipop and sticks it back in her mouth*
Joyce pulls it out of Robin’s mouth and takes a lick. “There. Now do you see I mean business?”
Everyone takes a step back
clif
Because Joyce’s head exploded?
abysswatcher1993
So Robin is Kyoko now?
Reltzik
5 second rule.
Charles Spencer
Doesn’t apply to a wet lollipop if that’s carpet.
Some Ed
I’m reminded of an RPG session in college. I was one of two spectators. The other spectator had a bag of hard candy. This was before all hard candy were individually wrapped, and these weren’t. Throughout the game, they tossed a candy to each person who had their character do something amusing. There were over a dozen players, so there was a fair amount of time between each player declaring their actions, and most of them were serious actions.
One individual kept up a steady enough stream of humorous actions that he needed to crunch the hard candy he was eating to be able to consume it at the rate he was being given it. This wasn’t a problem for him. He also apparently had used dexterity as a real life dump stat, because he fumbled every candy, and it fell onto the floor. But he was apparently a big believer in the 5 second rule, because he picked them up without hesitation and popped them in his mouth each time. He may have even quoted the five second rule after someone made a comment about this early on.
To be honest, I didn’t feel like the five second rule should apply, because we were in a lecture hall in the evening after classes but before janitorial services. It was not clear that janitorial services were a daily thing. In fact, I don’t think they were, because there hadn’t been snow on the ground that day, but the floor was still visibly dirty from the day before when there had been.
If you roll enough D20s, you will sooner or later get a natural 20. And eventually he managed to actually catch one of the candies. He put it in his mouth. A moment later, he stated, “This one tastes funny.”
Another player laughed and asserted, “That’s the only one that *didn’t* fall on the floor!”
He took the wet candy out of his mouth, rolled it on the floor a bit and put it back in. “Ok, now it tastes right.”
While that wasn’t a carpetted floor, I don’t think he would’ve had a problem with carpet.
Circeus
ajdsgdfasdhjhasdfgkasfkfghjasdfga
Needfuldoer
“Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker.”
– Linus van Pelt
butts
arrested for Candy Crimez™
Walky_Talky
Isn’t this how John Wick started?
BBCC
Spit it out, Robin!
ValdVin
Robin’s “You are the worst person I know” and “I know Ted Cruz” are hilariously off-kilter.
T Campbell
Give her some credit, that’s a solid burn.
Dr. T
I was thinking the same thing. That is a quality joke.
Dean
At least she didn’t compare Joyce to Mitch McConnell. That’s the kind of burn that makes you reassess your life.
Illithid
Absolutely. Cruz is one of my senators.
The other one ain’t so hot, either.
DudeMyDadOwnsaDealership
Ignited Thermite-level solid. Seriously, Donald Trump is president because of that guy…Him and the rest of Capital Hill, but last I checked, blend in with a crowd and you have ethical diplomatic immunity……
Needfuldoer
The only appropriate response is that still frame from the porno his twitter account liked a couple years ago, with the shocked-looking blonde lady in the red shirt and glasses.
Jay
Agreed!
Yenklette
She’s clocked before and she’ll clock again if not stopped!
DSL
Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
Roborat
As long as it isn’t digital, then it is just blank.
Kyrik Michalowski
C’mon Joyce, the candy was completely innocent here. Truly Joyce is embracing the dark side, it also explains her uncanny ability to be wherever she wants regardless of physics.
EvilMidnightLurker
That’s irrelevant, Robin. Ted Cruz isn’t a person, but rather a colony of void crabs wearing a skinsuit.
Doctor_Who
Shame they couldn’t find a more convincing one.
Agemegos
Or maybe it’s a shame that the one they found was as convincing as it is.
Lumino
https://www.tedcruzforhumanpresident.com/
Keulen
“Ted Cruz is only one being and not several.” -Guy Manderson
“I have seen many people and Ted Cruz is one of them” -Firstname Lastname
Shade
Honestly that last one is probably the best endorsement I could muster for him too.
DrunkenNordmann
So he should just use “Ted Cruz is people” as a campaign slogan in the future?
Mollyscribbles
honestly it’s impressive a colony of crabs managed to be the Zodiac Killer AND become a politician.
Geneseepaws
Ambassador Kosh approves.
paleotectonics
Always upthumbing for B5 refs.
EvilMidnightLurker
AAAH DOPPELGANGER
Chaucer59
Not crabs. Crab lice.
jeffepp
I knew it! The lollipop fight is on!
DSL
Does a lollipop fight include a sucker punch?
Lieutenant Dan
Where’s an upvote button when you need one?
Lex
Pfft. Joyce, when someone’s saying you’re worse than Ted Cruz, it’s time to chill out a little and use your words.
deathjavu
To be fair, Robin is being infuriatingly vague and Joyce has no reason to trust her.
Agemegos
Yes, but on the other had Joyce is being bizarrely presumptuous and Robin has no good reason to divulge Becky’s secure location to anyone.
Joyce was once convinced that God had put her in charge, and now she seems to think that God died and left her in charge. No-one else has any reason to recognise her universal authority.
BBCC
She doesn’t have to disclose her secure location but saying she’s in one would be a good start.
Agemegos
As Ivy points out, Joyce is not giving Robin a fair chance to say anything. She has stormed in full of ignorance, presumption, and self-righteous indignation, and is shouting vague accusations.
BBCC
She DID give Robin a chance to answer. Twice. Second and third panel have Robin answering. Saying “Woah, chill, Becky’s fine, I’m protecting her from her dad” wouldn’t really take more time than what she says on panel two.
PhyrexianRogue
Panel 2 also has Robin offer to sit down and presumably give a more concrete explanation though. Which is usually necessary in situations like this, as the exact details matter. Only Joyce is too much in outraged protective mode to listen and seemingly refuses to accept anything other than immediate access to Becky.
BBCC
I’m pretty sure that’s what Robin intended, but I think what Joyce hears is more dismissive “Jeez, sit down kid, she’s fine.’ and it doesn’t actually clarify whether Robin is helping Becky or ‘helping’ Becky a la Toedad. Even saying ‘I gave her a head’s up’ in panel two or three would’ve clarified more.
Wereg
I mean, Joyce is also very much not acting logically here. She’s incredibly worried about her best friend, all-but panicking, and trying to sort things out as best she can.
She’s not handling this as best she can, but I’m not blaming her. Logic can be fucking hard when you’re pretty much mid-panic attack. She’s a human and she’s allowed to lose control sometimes.
ischemgeek
I should also note Joyce doesn’t seem to be aware of Robin’s coming out and political about-face, and given her experiences with toedad and Carol lately she is primed to think worst case scenario.
jmsr7
…except that “storming in full of ignorance, presumption, and self-righteous indignation, and is shouting vague accusations” is how her family’s religious group acts, and she’s channelling that. She’s very newly deconverted and the habits of a lifetime are hard to break.
But it’s incredibly rude, and Robin is dealing with the crazy person by not feeding into her bullshit. And like in real life, the crazy religious fundamentalist is attacking someone (literally in this case) for not obeying them.
Two steps forward, one step back Joyce.
Ivy
Eh, I would argue she hasn’t been vague. The whole conversation was: I know what happened, (loud angry demanding accusation) I didn’t do anything, I’m looking out for her let’s sit down and talk about it with the implication that it’s a detailed discussion (loud angry accusation) Your friends is safe! (lollipop attack and shrieking demand) Robin’s behavior has been calm and she’s actually trying to reassure her instead of just shutting the door in her face.
Delicious Taffy
Yeah, coming in all guns blazin’ rarely gets straight answers. It creates a conflict that didn’t necessarily have to exist, nobody’s starting off on the same page, and people are more likely to get their feelings hurt by something that wouldn’t have been said in calmer circumstances.
Stephen Bierce
Sucker Punch!
–of a Punch Sucker, no less.
abysswatcher1993
Knowing Ted Cruz isn’t a sign of good character.
Delicious Taffy
That’s sorta missing the point. She’s comparing Joyce to Todd Croissant, and unfavorably at that.
Shade
Also to be fair I feel Robin judges people based on the likelihood of them smacking candy out of her hand.
BBCC
I mean, she’s in Congress. She knows Ted Cruz whether she likes him or not.
DrunkenNordmann
She’s also in the same party as him.
You’re bound to know Red Cruz, if you’re a Republican in Washington.
DrunkenNordmann
Aaand I misspelled his first name; great.
Liquid Len
Given that Republicans are the “red” party here, it works!
Tacos
Hey the 5 second rule is still in effect so you can still pick it up Robin. Of course since this is Robin we’re talking about, the 30 second rule may also apply…
ValdVin
Dammit, Joyce, now if Robin doesn’t pick that up and start licking it…
…ah, who am I kidding?
Tomorrow: We find out if it’s a Tootsie Pop.
He Who Abides
So . . . I just got a surprise wedding sprung on me Friday. Apparently my sister got a friend to get himself ordained while he was in Vegas last month, and they decided my fiancee and I were getting married instead of playing in the FNM this week (by convincing the store owner to let them hold it there).
Any other married people, is it weird that this doesn’t feel much different than when we were engaged? Not in a “This is a mistake!” way, just that it’s not a world-altering difference between marriage and engagement?
BBCC
Not married, but it sounds to me like that just means you were ready to be married, emotionally speaking.
BBCC
Also, congrats on getting married!
Delicious Taffy
Congratulations!
Kamino Neko