And I’m here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It’s not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know
Yes, but making it worse sets things on a course to make it better.
This maybe a brilliant Batman Gambit by Mike.
A conversation with Ethan made Ethan decide to closet himself. Had Ethan seen the sarcasm, he tries to accept himself and explores his new life.
If not, something bad is going to happen. Amber will find out because she lives in the same dorm. Ethan would have emotional tension building up when sex doesn’t work out again or if the odd dissatisfaction of his life gets to him.
Then he sees Amber very tense. He already knows she’s dealing with her issues as Amazi-Girl. He knows what she’s been through this year. He adds to her emotional stress with a telling comment.
An explosion is inevitable. Whether they happen together or apart is the only question. But if they happen together, all these issues come out. And Amber seeing Ethan with a girlfriend will force an explosion.
Once voiced, people think about stuff more, in this case their issues.
He looks more “eeeeeeh now I have to deal with this crap again” to me.
Deathjavu
That’s exactly the same as not feeling bad about it. He doesn’t look like he has any empathy for one of his oldest friends, and so he’s dropped below Danny in my estimation.
owltawny
He’s been worse than Danny for a while in my opinion.
She just flipped out at him. flipped the table he was sitting at while screaming, refused to listen to his wishes and then went after Joyce while outing him to anyone who was paying attention. Sympathy will have to wait until the anger fades.
Deathjavu
His sympathy should’ve preceded all of this, i.e. he should’ve thought about how this would make his oldest friend feel.
This is called empathy. He ain’t got it, apparently.
timemonkey
Maybe she shouldn’t have cut all ties when she decided she needed some space and left the guy she knew was insecure and feeling alone without any support. They’ve both screwed up. Amber doesn’t get to be the sole victim just because she fucked herself harder. She also should have talked to him the last time he tried to show concern for her instead of giving him attitude.
Amber’s getting mad for doing the same thing she’s doing: compartmentalising the parts of themselves they don’t want to deal with and heaping on the denial instead of dealing with it. Amber’s attempts have blown up in her face, Ethan’s have not yet.
ninja_jesus
Everyone’s a victim of circumstances in Dumbing of Age.
It isn’t waiting for the anger to fade.
It’s a rapidly changing situation that he wasn’t expecting with a course he can’t anticipate.
He hasn’t had time to adjust and react.
Ethan has made it clear that he still wants to be friends and hang out. We now see that he also has no idea of the emotional toll of his actions on Amber.
(Plus he’s happy because he’s decided “yeah, it is wrong, I’ll pretend I’m not gay with the help of this girl who wants to avoid any physical contact”, so despite the ulterior motive Amber’s not actually wrong when she says this is a bad thing. It’s as healthy as plague rats)
Cyan1deDr3ams
Agreed
Jordan
While I despise how willing Ethan is to compromise himself, I also feel sorry for how awful his situation had been before and even to an extent at college. He probably felt deserted by his best friend (and his next best friend was Mike, who can hardly even count as a friend) and without at least a little support from her, he probably didn’t feel comfortable coming out to the people that he met.
Amber on the other hand was emotionally exhausted from supporting Ethan through that summer while also compartmentalizing her huge daddy/anger issues into her alter-ego and also dealing with her heart-ache from prom. Add onto that running into her father again and being essentially dumped by Danny (god I hate that guy) in favor of her alter-ego. Now she sees her former best friend and former boyfriend doing the same stuff he used to do with her with another girl.
While I feel sorry for her, a lot of what she’s dealing with could have been dealt with a lot earlier if she had been honest upfront with Danny, or if she had sought help for her anger issues or if she hadn’t essentially abandoned Ethan.
I don’t see that. I see the opposite. That frown and lidding of the lower eye looks like a very sad expression to him. He looks like he feels terrible about it.
Really, he’s frowning. He didn’t expect this. He just hasn’t reacted yet.
begbert2
I have a hard time believing he didn’t expect this. Amber crying over the fact that he won’t/can’t be with her anymore can’t be a new thing.
Skellig
We say that looking in, but we all compartmentalize things in our head, keeping them separate. Most likely he just hoped it would never happen and didn’t think about it. Denial can be nigh impenetrable when real feelings and close friends are involved.
My 2 cents:
Yes, Ethan looks as if he didn’t expect this. And from my own experience I can tell: People usually don’t expect others to complain about their behaviour. Anyone out there with different experience? No? Didn’t think so…
And additionally, also from own experience, I can tell that people are surprised even in a situation like that. When you notice that something you used to do with a friend is now done by your friend and someone else, leaving you out of the loop. Then try to complain to your friend and he/she will at least act as if he/she had no idea what you’re talking about.
So cut that hypocritical sh^h^h – this is the effing way of the world, and I doubt that nobody of you all hasn’t been in Ethans situation in any way at some point of time.
I don’t think she’s…nicer. Amber found out that he was gay and fought very hard to convince him that he should be out and proud, while Joyce found out and is fighting very hard to “make him normal.”
I think it’s more a question here of which option Ethan finds more emotional security in, and it seems that, for him, it’s the latter.
That Damn Rat
It’s more that Joyce doesn’t want their relationship to be physical(yet) whereas Amber did. So if and when Joyce, decides to try for sexy times, this whole house of cards is going to fall down. Ethan is kidding himself if he thinks this is going end in anything but tears, and Amber is really doing him a favour by kicking them both into realising this won’t work.
Charles RB
Worse, happens when Ethan wants sexytimes? He can’t get hot with Joyce and just ‘think of England’ while doing it, she’s involved because of the complete lack of sex!
Ourorboros
When he wants sexy times, his main problem with Joyce’s incompatible parts list.
Dating a sex-phobic only bought him time, just as dating a gay man buys Joyce time.
Because apparently celibacy (and this is only week 4, who would notice) while dealing with issues would be too sensible.
wynne
But Joyce doesn’t want their relationship to be physical until marriage. Joyce isn’t evil; she’s done a good job of incorporating new information about people she was taught to hate into her worldview. There’s still a chance that Ethan will eventually say, “I’m sorry, this just isn’t working,” and Joyce will kind of get it.
That Damn Rat
Never said Joyce was evil or even at fault really, she may be facilitating Ethan’s bad behaviour, but this mess is his fault.
Jody
The thing is Amber’s not completely selfless in all of this either. She falls in love with Ethan who is gay and can’t be with her, so she tries to be an upstanding friend and help him accept who he is. But she still feels the sting of rejection. Turn around he’s dating another girl and is pretending to be straight and doing all the stuff she wanted him to do.
She’s lashing out because she’s hurt because from her perspective, him being gay was a roadblock then, but now it’s not? It’s not fair.
496 thoughts on “Coercing”
Vivvav
IT JUST GETS WORSE.
saltchocolate
I am dying for her!
Tunaro
That girl seriously needs someone to give her a hug.
Mullberrytree
Worst freshman year ever.
Ourorboros
And I’m here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It’s not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know
Giant Speck
I don’t think Joyce would go down on Ethan in a theater.
Tioras
I liked the lyrics better when I thought the words were ‘cross-eyed bear’.
ocbrad1
I wish someone would give me a cross-eyed bear.
Neo Vachel
OMFG!!! I thought I was the ONLY one who thought those were the lyrics! Wife is a HUGE Alanis fan and told me I was crazy for even thinking that.
Albi
You are not the only one.
Znayx
It took me a long time to realise what those lyrics actually were saying 😛
Charlie Spencer
Thanks. I could never understand half of what she was mumbling.
Kafloo
It is impossible for me to not think of the Weird Al version when I read those lyrics.
Ourorboros
Yes, but making it worse sets things on a course to make it better.
This maybe a brilliant Batman Gambit by Mike.
A conversation with Ethan made Ethan decide to closet himself. Had Ethan seen the sarcasm, he tries to accept himself and explores his new life.
If not, something bad is going to happen. Amber will find out because she lives in the same dorm. Ethan would have emotional tension building up when sex doesn’t work out again or if the odd dissatisfaction of his life gets to him.
Then he sees Amber very tense. He already knows she’s dealing with her issues as Amazi-Girl. He knows what she’s been through this year. He adds to her emotional stress with a telling comment.
An explosion is inevitable. Whether they happen together or apart is the only question. But if they happen together, all these issues come out. And Amber seeing Ethan with a girlfriend will force an explosion.
Once voiced, people think about stuff more, in this case their issues.
Walky and PJ-jeans was just warming up.
begbert2
And then after the double murder/suicide, Mike shrugs his shoulders and says, “Eh, close enough.”
Mr. Random
Ow.
Raine
That mouse-over text was not kidding. Issues of issues with issues. And those issues have daddy issues.
Thomas
Amber’s issues need tissues.
Krell
That is not funny.
Neo Vachel
Yes. Yes it was.
Krell
Er, no, you don’t understand. It was an “Austin Powers” reference.
Jen Aside
Fakey faken fake faker
dammit Ethan =C
GoldStarz
*stomps in dramatically* STOP! That’s not the real Ethan, it’s his evil clone! THIS is the real Ethan!
Tunaro
*Audible Gasps*
Deathjavu
Ethan looks far too “I don’t actually feel bad about this” in the last panel. It makes me hate him.
Well, hate him for more than cowardice. Now he’s adding callousness to the mix.
GoldStarz
He looks more “eeeeeeh now I have to deal with this crap again” to me.
Deathjavu
That’s exactly the same as not feeling bad about it. He doesn’t look like he has any empathy for one of his oldest friends, and so he’s dropped below Danny in my estimation.
owltawny
He’s been worse than Danny for a while in my opinion.
Arkantos
Same here.
MM
Really? ‘Cause he looks pretty shellshocked to me.
timemonkey
She just flipped out at him. flipped the table he was sitting at while screaming, refused to listen to his wishes and then went after Joyce while outing him to anyone who was paying attention. Sympathy will have to wait until the anger fades.
Deathjavu
His sympathy should’ve preceded all of this, i.e. he should’ve thought about how this would make his oldest friend feel.
This is called empathy. He ain’t got it, apparently.
timemonkey
Maybe she shouldn’t have cut all ties when she decided she needed some space and left the guy she knew was insecure and feeling alone without any support. They’ve both screwed up. Amber doesn’t get to be the sole victim just because she fucked herself harder. She also should have talked to him the last time he tried to show concern for her instead of giving him attitude.
Amber’s getting mad for doing the same thing she’s doing: compartmentalising the parts of themselves they don’t want to deal with and heaping on the denial instead of dealing with it. Amber’s attempts have blown up in her face, Ethan’s have not yet.
ninja_jesus
Everyone’s a victim of circumstances in Dumbing of Age.
Tom Speelman
…And THERE’S the tagline.
Opus the Poet
And by “circumstances” we all mean “Willis” :0
Ourorboros
It isn’t waiting for the anger to fade.
It’s a rapidly changing situation that he wasn’t expecting with a course he can’t anticipate.
He hasn’t had time to adjust and react.
Ethan has made it clear that he still wants to be friends and hang out. We now see that he also has no idea of the emotional toll of his actions on Amber.
Charles RB
Yeahhhhhh.
(Plus he’s happy because he’s decided “yeah, it is wrong, I’ll pretend I’m not gay with the help of this girl who wants to avoid any physical contact”, so despite the ulterior motive Amber’s not actually wrong when she says this is a bad thing. It’s as healthy as plague rats)
Cyan1deDr3ams
Agreed
Jordan
While I despise how willing Ethan is to compromise himself, I also feel sorry for how awful his situation had been before and even to an extent at college. He probably felt deserted by his best friend (and his next best friend was Mike, who can hardly even count as a friend) and without at least a little support from her, he probably didn’t feel comfortable coming out to the people that he met.
Amber on the other hand was emotionally exhausted from supporting Ethan through that summer while also compartmentalizing her huge daddy/anger issues into her alter-ego and also dealing with her heart-ache from prom. Add onto that running into her father again and being essentially dumped by Danny (god I hate that guy) in favor of her alter-ego. Now she sees her former best friend and former boyfriend doing the same stuff he used to do with her with another girl.
While I feel sorry for her, a lot of what she’s dealing with could have been dealt with a lot earlier if she had been honest upfront with Danny, or if she had sought help for her anger issues or if she hadn’t essentially abandoned Ethan.
Valdrax
I don’t see that. I see the opposite. That frown and lidding of the lower eye looks like a very sad expression to him. He looks like he feels terrible about it.
Ourorboros
Really, he’s frowning. He didn’t expect this. He just hasn’t reacted yet.
begbert2
I have a hard time believing he didn’t expect this. Amber crying over the fact that he won’t/can’t be with her anymore can’t be a new thing.
Skellig
We say that looking in, but we all compartmentalize things in our head, keeping them separate. Most likely he just hoped it would never happen and didn’t think about it. Denial can be nigh impenetrable when real feelings and close friends are involved.
Kernanator
Jen Aside confirmed as Gilgamesh?
Kai Gon
Sooo …. there’s a lot going on here, it seems.
My 2 cents:
Yes, Ethan looks as if he didn’t expect this. And from my own experience I can tell: People usually don’t expect others to complain about their behaviour. Anyone out there with different experience? No? Didn’t think so…
And additionally, also from own experience, I can tell that people are surprised even in a situation like that. When you notice that something you used to do with a friend is now done by your friend and someone else, leaving you out of the loop. Then try to complain to your friend and he/she will at least act as if he/she had no idea what you’re talking about.
So cut that hypocritical sh^h^h – this is the effing way of the world, and I doubt that nobody of you all hasn’t been in Ethans situation in any way at some point of time.
Andrusi
“I found you, faker!”
Kernanator
“Faker? I think you’re the fake one around here. You’re comparing yourself to me? Ha! You’re not even good enough to be my fake.”
CC
“I’ll make you eat those words!”
Ryugen
Drama boooooomb
GoldStarz
Drama TAG!
Flicker
Every comic on this site should be posted with the drama tag.
Plasma Mongoose
Where’s that pesky Drama Llama when you need him?
Ahighfunctioningsociopath
It’s busy being replaced by sad llama
Tunaro
I think all llamas are sad on the inside.
Plasma Mongoose
That’s because they wish they could be alpacas.
GoldStarz
And alpacas want to be sheep. Forever longing. Definitely the work of the Drama Tag.
Spazman
He HAS a name, you know.
It’s Ricky.
Ricky the Drama Llama.
The Candyman
I have a Drama Lama, if that counts. But he’s too busy seeking enlightenment.
zoabeast
More like Drama ICBM. Better bunker up.
ASD
🙁
Bryan
I feel so bad for Amber. The guy she loved, that turned out gay, that could be straight for another girl…
Yotomoe
He’s equally gay. He just found a nicer beard.
Plasma Mongoose
What is wrong with growing a beard naturally?
Doctor_Who
I tried No-Shave November this year, on my brother’s insistence. Wasn’t impressed with the results.
I can grow a mustache okay, but no beard.
Taara
I don’t think she’s…nicer. Amber found out that he was gay and fought very hard to convince him that he should be out and proud, while Joyce found out and is fighting very hard to “make him normal.”
I think it’s more a question here of which option Ethan finds more emotional security in, and it seems that, for him, it’s the latter.
That Damn Rat
It’s more that Joyce doesn’t want their relationship to be physical(yet) whereas Amber did. So if and when Joyce, decides to try for sexy times, this whole house of cards is going to fall down. Ethan is kidding himself if he thinks this is going end in anything but tears, and Amber is really doing him a favour by kicking them both into realising this won’t work.
Charles RB
Worse, happens when Ethan wants sexytimes? He can’t get hot with Joyce and just ‘think of England’ while doing it, she’s involved because of the complete lack of sex!
Ourorboros
When he wants sexy times, his main problem with Joyce’s incompatible parts list.
Dating a sex-phobic only bought him time, just as dating a gay man buys Joyce time.
Because apparently celibacy (and this is only week 4, who would notice) while dealing with issues would be too sensible.
wynne
But Joyce doesn’t want their relationship to be physical until marriage. Joyce isn’t evil; she’s done a good job of incorporating new information about people she was taught to hate into her worldview. There’s still a chance that Ethan will eventually say, “I’m sorry, this just isn’t working,” and Joyce will kind of get it.
That Damn Rat
Never said Joyce was evil or even at fault really, she may be facilitating Ethan’s bad behaviour, but this mess is his fault.
Jody
The thing is Amber’s not completely selfless in all of this either. She falls in love with Ethan who is gay and can’t be with her, so she tries to be an upstanding friend and help him accept who he is. But she still feels the sting of rejection. Turn around he’s dating another girl and is pretending to be straight and doing all the stuff she wanted him to do.
She’s lashing out because she’s hurt because from her perspective, him being gay was a roadblock then, but now it’s not? It’s not fair.