222

Confined
Posted on December 9, 2013 by David M Willis

222 thoughts on “Confined”

  1. Jen Aside

    We all are, Sarah =3~~~

    1. LiaHansen

      Why is there a pooping butt after your comment?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I think it’s meant to be a drooling cat-smile face.

        1. Totz the Plaid

          Maybe a pooping cat face?

        2. Tunaro

          How does a cat poop from its face?

        3. Yotomoe

          Well, Stunky can.

        4. mysss

          WHY DID I START READING THESE WHY

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          or a cat holding some sausages…

        6. James

          I see what you did there

        7. Steven

          Basically Pusheen.

      2. Doctor_Who

        Early sign of Butt’s Disease.

        1. EvergreenFir

          So sad… flames that burn brightest…

        2. Yotomoe

          Usually cuz you’re fartin’ on em.

        3. Jenny Creed

          You guys are the shit. I basically laughed my ass off.

        4. Ocbrad1

          Blue darts FTW!

      3. AgentKeen

        I think you mean “Why is there a pooping butt when cyclops isn’t around?”

        1. Drunken Nordmann

          How do you know he’s not around?

        2. John

          Marcie is actually Cyclops. That’s why the goggles.

      4. PedanticJerkass

        Better than an asshat, at least. <3

      5. Jen Aside

        SHUT UP IT IS A JIZZING PENIS WITH A LARGE HEADhere I will add balls

        8===3~~~

    2. Super Duper

      And she was the one who insisted on no Drama.

    3. Sock

      Looks like a pair of balls and a shaft…with the end sticking into sarah…

  2. Opus the Poet

    4th wall!

    1. Opus the Poet

      Well that didn’t make much sense.

      1. Ivan

        It most certainly did!

        But I’m in a straight jacket, navigating by voice, so I could be wrong.

  3. Super Duper

    Sarah, get in line. Behind me and everything else on the planet.

    1. KingMabel

      Actually, I could go after Sarah. I don’t mind.

      1. Nym

        We can form our own line, KingMabel. Everyone else may mistake us for the rest of the Jacob queue, but at least we’ll know the truth.

      2. Yotomoe

        I’ll be in line for Sarah, in the meantime.

    2. Rani

      Line starts here.

    3. Opus the Poet

      Not me, Dina is my OTP in DOA. The rest can kiss a velociraptor on the lips.

      1. JustcallmeSoul

        you and approximately 3,502 others.

    4. Schist

      Wait, so would this line be long enough that people at the back could turn round and cheat the system? *schemes*

  4. Ourorboros

    Think about what your reaction means, Joyce.

    1. Nym

      I think she does – she looks to me like she’s clearly signalling Sarah not to out her gay boyfriend.

      1. Ourorboros

        What it means that she must keep such a fundamental fact hidden. What it says about her and them. What it means about her own fears of her sexuality and how this jibs with her dreams of finding a husband and building a family. Why others must take burdens for her. What kind of person all this makes her.

        1. Nym

          Ah, yes. Well, I figure we have until she and Ethan think about their lives and their (relationship) choices to enjoy this train wreck for all its worth.

        2. John

          Maybe… she’s thinking that outing someone, especially to is really fucking rude, at best, and at worst dangerous to their health and well-being?

          (Though, watch, Jacob figured it out without being told just like everyone else but Joyce has, and just doesn’t care.)

        3. John

          Meh. Stupid half-hidden comment box. Pretend that “, especially to” isn’t there.

        4. Ourorboros

          Maybe she shouldn’t be in a relationship with a gay man if outing is an issue. Maybe that is the point, instead of this specific point in time.
          Maybe, since everybody except Joyce and Jacob (maybe) figured out Ethan is gay right away this will be a constant issue.
          Maybe, since Joyce was told early on that Ethan is gay that this and the other problems I listed, some of these problems could have been anticipated.

          Maybe if she wasn’t so arrogant as to believe she is such a shining beacon of light and goodness that she can “turn” Ethan (or that her girl parts were so overwhelmingly good) she wouldn’t be facing these issues.

          Sure when you are young life is really about the short term, because how much depth does your vision really have? But these aren’t just normal relationship issues and they are easily seen in the first minute.

        5. Silamy

          Well, Joyce and Ethan are in a nonsexual relationship, and he did recloset himself for whatever his reasons are. Relationships can (and in my opinion, should) be based on more than just mutual attraction. One of my best friends is asexual and biromantic -she explains that she dates because she likes the companionship and the emotional intimacy is greater than friendship.
          Joyce is also a victim of sexual abuse -that’s not something one just “gets over”. She knows that she’s totally safe with Ethan not just because of his personality because he is not attracted to her and so wouldn’t do anything, regardless. And he knows that she’s not expecting anything physical of him, which was how he originally learned that he’s gay.
          Not saying that either of them’s necessarily doing the best thing, but they’re both consenting adults, and they know what they’re getting into and what the expectations are.

        6. John

          I don’t approve of Joyce trying to convert Ethan, either, but waving Sarah off of unthinkingly outing Ethan to his roommate, someone they don’t really know, seems like a really weird thing to be criticizing her for.

          This strip could have happened exactly the same way if Joyce and Ethan were just friends, with no twisted mockery of a relationship involved.

        7. Ourorboros

          I never criticized her about waving Sarah off, I criticized her for what it all means.
          It probably isn’t about just outing Ethan, her world doesn’t work that way. She hasn’t thought or even knows about the violent ways some people react to gays.

          So, if it isn’t about protecting Ethan from gay bashing, what is it about? It’s about protecting the illusion of her fake relationship.

          BTW, I didn’t say Ethan doesn’t have worries about gay bashing. I’d also say there is a 100%+ chance that Sarah knows more about the negative crap gays have to deal with than Joyce does. She also warned Joyce that if Dorothy found out she was converting a gay man, she risks losing Dorothy’s friendship. Think that sort of thing might be what Joyce is thinking of?

          I don’t care if Joyce is trying to convert a gay man or not. I just think it’s doomed to fail and covered in fears and personal delusions that do more harm than good.

        8. JustcallmeSoul

          As willis makes it all work out in the end between joyce and ethan out of pure spite for his fanbase, and they have a dozen prefect little catholic kids named after the same saint, paul, paulette, pauline, pauly, P.J (paul joshua) and Paulson.

        9. JustcallmeSoul

          im sorry, i forgot that joyce was part of a non-denom not a catholic church. dont kill me! keep the pitchforks at bay please!

        10. John

          Nevertheless, Sarah is the one who just almost blithely outed Ethan, while Joyce is the one who’s warning her off.

        11. Bill

          (response to John)
          Remember, though, that Ethan’s own parents think that if he bangs Joyce — or any other normal girl, for that matter — early and often he will fuck the gay away.

        12. Bill

          Oops; substitute “hetero” for “normal” — although that is normal to the parents’ way of thinking.

        13. John

          It’s worked so well for Saul!

        14. Ourorboros

          Sure Sarah is the one who almost outed Ethan.
          Once again, it is Joyce who put her in that position.
          Put her there because of her own mixed up motivations.

          Notice I never said anything about Ethan warning Sarah, only Joyce. Those issues are different. In fact, I started by telling Joyce to think about what all that means.
          Yeah, people don’t get credit for the accidental benefits of their actions and making up motivations doesn’t help either.

  5. David Herbert

    “Jealous I can’t see both of you like that.”

  6. Darbs

    Good save. Great way to show that Joyce’s stereotypical advice was so wrong earlier. -_-

    1. Nym

      Well, Joyce couldn’t know that Jacob was that one hot guy in Sarah’s law class she spent a semester crushing on, so it was still a suggestion with awful reasoning behind it. Just, y’know, a suggestion with awful reasoning that strangely coincided with someone she might actually date.

    2. Pat

      Joyce used bad reasoning to reach a conclusion. That doesn’t actually prove that the conclusion is invalid.
      Sarah’s reaction mirrors Ethan’s, so it doesn’t seem to have much to do with race anyway.

  7. Mr. Random

    Yes, yes she is.

  8. Rani

    I don’t think her cheeks have done that in eons.

    1. Yotomoe

      I don’t even know how you could see it! She must be blushin’ HARDCORE.

  9. GoldStarz

    Oh. Ooooooooooooh. This kinda explain a lot about Jacob and his not-caring of his dressed down attitude.

  10. Wonder Wig

    Ethan, obviously signalling to his assassins hiding behind the cereal dispensers.

    1. Totz the Plaid

      He _thinks_ they’re assassins, but they’re really just Dina’s parents.

      She chose doors, but they chose cereal dispensers.

      1. Doctor_Who

        Dina’s parents are assassins. That’s why they are so silent.

        1. Totz the Plaid

          Nah, everyone just _thinks_ they are.

        2. Siddlaw

          Under their hats they hide shurikens and katanas!

        3. Schist

          Or they are just velociraptors in disguise.

        4. Ourorboros

          How else did she learn how to hide behind doors so easily and just disappear into crowds seamlessly?

          Dino-ninja!

  11. Plasma Mongoose

    I thought something like this was going to happen.

  12. timemonkey

    Oh, right, Jacob’s supposed to be hot.

    1. rachel

      YOU ARE CORRECT

      HOT JACOB IS HOT

      1. saltchocolate

        Melting hot.

        1. ninja_jesus

          A melting pot of hot.

        2. Fuzzydaemon

          Hot, creamy milk chocolate hot! He is beautiful! Mmmm….yum.

  13. Aakriti

    Why is Sarah being so nice?

    1. KingMabel

      She’s on the road to being sociable. Better to keep the buddies you got.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Puberty affects people in a variety of different ways.

    3. Totz the Plaid

      Probably because she actually is attracted to Jacob’s physique.

      1. Jack Finch

        Misanthropes need lovin’ too ya know.

    4. Doctor_Who

      She wants to climb Jacob’s Ladder.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Nope, she rather slide down his snake. 😀

        1. JustcallmeSoul

          im not sure if this is a reference to a bad film, or a bad board game… (as a kid i had two versions of chutes and ladders, the first being Shoots and ladders, and the second being Chutes and Snakes.)

        2. Phlebas

          Chutes and ladders is the censored US version of Snakes and Ladders.

        3. Lurlock

          Censored? No, it’s just the one that makes sense. How do you slide down a snake?

        4. Mr K

          Your mom can tell you.

        5. Fuzzydaemon

          You’ll learn, I hope.

        6. partinobodycular

          Chutes and Snakes must take a long time to play.

        7. JustcallmeSoul

          this is why one shouldnt post after 4am… totally meant snakes and latters.

      2. Opus the Poet

        OK I thought that one was funny.

      3. Hobouturtle

        Jacob has a ladder? Where does it go? Does he have a club house? Is the ladder how you get to the club house?

    5. saltchocolate

      Because she actually cares about Joyce. Because she’s a fundamentally nice person to people who don’t fuck her over. (She lost her first-year friends *trying* to help her last roommate.)

      And because she’s being melted by Hot Jacob’s hotness. 😀

    6. Ourorboros

      She’s been big sistering Joyce from the beginning. Even cleaned hairs out of a shower stall for her. (Joyce followed that up by asking to be carried in, which would have earned a hard shove by me, but to each their own.)

    7. saltchocolate

      The nicest thing about Sarah being nice is that it is going to work for her — my prediction. Next panel is Jacob smiling and asking her if she wants to hang out.

      1. Ourorboros

        Study, they have a mutual class.

        1. saltchocolate

          I’ll take that amendment. In fact, it’s even better, because Sarah’s serious about her studies and will be more into a guy who gives a damn about school. (Even if they only end up studying the LAW of attraction…)

        2. Schist

          She wants to proofread his briefs.

      2. begbert2

        Next panel is Jacob saying, “Sorry, but I’m gay.” And then Ethan’s head explodes.

        (Okay, yeah, the no-changing-orientation rule nixes this, but it would still be awesome.)

  14. Nym

    Ahahahaha, well, now Sarah, at least, knows Joyce knows. Nice substitution of one awkward truth for another. Sarah with a crush is ridiculously cute.

    1. Nym

      Also: apparently my resolution to stay away from the comments did not last even a day. Oops.

      1. Doctor_Who

        There is no escape.

        1. Yotomoe

          We will suck you in.

        2. JustcallmeSoul

          ONE OF US…

          ONE OF US…

    2. Shanunu

      Sarah knew this a while ago. She told Joyce her friends would not be her friends anymore if they knew what she was doing.

      1. Nym

        Ah, yes, you are right! Obviously this plus your icon is a clear sign I should re-read the Sarah bits of the comic.

      2. Ourorboros

        Well Dorothy. She told Joyce she’d loss Dorothy, which gave us a panicky realization face.
        Anybody’s guess how everybody else reacts.
        Walky probably doesn’t care. Billie too, for other reasons. Sal might have a lot to say about it, none of it nice.
        Mike is will work on this when given the opportunity. Maybe he will Batman Gambit Christmas break (15 years hence).

    3. Valdrax

      I like the way that Sarah “takes one for the team” that way. I doubt she would have ever admitted that on her own if it hadn’t been the only way to cover for what she was really about to say. That shows she’s both clever on her feet and a really good friend.

  15. timemonkey

    Joe’s face is interesting. Gaydar go off perhaps?

    1. Intie

      I bet he can smell the gay.

    2. John

      I’m thinking it looks more like an “Aww, little Joycie got herself a boyfriend to chastely smooch, and is taking her first fledgling steps into the awesome world of bangin’. I’m so proud!” face.

  16. newllend

    You know who should show up rite now, mike that would totally make my day

    1. LiaHansen

      Ohmygod yes. No more of this dramatic tomfoolery. Mike just walks by and suddenly everybody knows everything about everyone else.

      1. Deathjavu

        Don’t we all wish. Certainly not like any of these people are going to get anywhere on their own.

        Really though, anyone would do.

        1. ninja_jesus

          Not just anyone. Mike is the one who started this charade, therefore he will be the one who ends it.

    2. Ourorboros

      I’m dying to Mike up that whole table. Joe has to deal with the fact that he’s a lot like his father, who he seems to blame for the divorce.

  17. TrueVCU

    This marks the first time Sarah has made everyone uncomfortable without anger or guilt

    1. Rereally

      Do you mean Jacob?

      1. Rereally

        Ugh. Replied to wrong comment.

  18. Fuzzydaemon

    I’ve always liked Sarah. Now I love her. She is so cute.

    1. saltchocolate

      And you are her — in the comments stream, at least.

      1. TrueVCU

        You are her and she is me and we are all together

  19. Kiggy

    Sarah is attracted to Joe.

    Congrats to those who called it.

    1. Kamino Neko

      Whether or not she’s attracted to Joe has no bearing on this conversation – Jacob is the topic of conversation.

      1. Technique

        http://i.imgur.com/3Gpey.jpg

      2. Kiggy

        Aw shoot!!!! I meant to type Jacob>_<

        That happens when you drink too much fruit wine. I was %_% last night.

  20. Bill

    Fact: Ethan is gay.  Joyce knows this.  Amber knows this.  Hell, I think even Joe knows it.  You mean Sarah *didn’t* already know this?

    It’s getting to be you can’t tell the players without a chart of who is doing what and with whom, and who else knows it.

    1. RobHagen

      Sarah knew. She was shocked that Joyce knew.

      1. Deathjavu

        This, right here: she only backs off because Joyce already knows.

      2. Jason

        No no, she knew Joyce knows. She’s the one who told Joyce that she’d lose her friends like Dorothy if they knew Joyce was trying to convert Ethan to being straight. She shuts up because she didn’t know that Jacob (and Joe) doesn’t know.

        1. begbert2

          Sarah now knows Joyce knows but she didn’t originally know Joyce knew and when she first found out she was shocked that Joyce knew and then told Joyce that she’d lose her friends like Dorothy if they knew Joyce was trying to convert Ethan to being straight. Both happened, in that order.

    2. Nym

      Sarah knows: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/04-time-keeps-on-slippin/chromosome/ & http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/04-time-keeps-on-slippin/revulsion/

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      Sarah knew that Ethan was gay since Joyce introduced her to him.

    4. RobHagen

      I think the only person in these last few strips who doesn’t know is Jacob…

      Hoo boy…

      1. John

        And Riley. She just wants cereal.

      2. Jason

        And Joe.

        1. saltchocolate

          I forgot about Joe. That actually does make it seem more like Joyce is signaling Sarah for her own sake, rather than Ethan’s (which is what I had been thinking). This is at least partly about her ability to keep rubbing her sexy-but-not-horny boyfriend in Joe’s face.

        2. ninja_jesus

          Also, Joyce rubbing against her “sexy-but-not-horny” boyfriend secretly with the pretense of Ethan “fighting his hormones”.

        3. saltchocolate

          ^ That.

    5. bibulb

      Sarah knew it, JACOB *DOESN’T*.
      Yet.

    6. Ourorboros

      The running gag about Ethan is that everybody socially normal knows he is gay right away.

      1. Phlebas

        Nobody in DoA, then?

      2. Sam

        Sarah knew right away. Does that mean she is a socially normal person? :0

        1. Phlebas

          It’s relative.

  21. Bek359

    Nice save, Sarah. Solid.

  22. Kernanator

    Can we all agree that whenever Jacob shows up in a room, sexy music plays?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Barry White?

      1. saltchocolate

        Yes, but maybe something more 21st century? D’Angelo?

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          I’m not up with most of the 21st century music artists.

        2. saltchocolate

          In any case, you’ve got the right idea.

        3. Varangian

          I think the opening riff to “How Does It Feel” following Jacob around would be entirely appropriate.

          I posit Joe has a similar effect–whenever he shoots a lady fingerguns, the chorus of Tom Jones’ “Sex Bomb” occurs.

      2. Ourorboros

        I’m assuming a Barry White voice for Jacob and the sexy wail of a saxophone in the background of any room he is in.
        Of course panties are flying, but we just don’t get that wide angle shot.

  23. Rani

    Willis, my respect for your plotting and characterization skills knows no bounds. I have faith in the way you’ve depicted your characters: even Danny and Ethan, for the most part, make sense within the directions I could see you going.

    Except for one.

    Ethan’s shirt. That long-sleeved, prison-chic, birth-control-by-Gap fashion black-hole of a shirt. Why does he always wear shirts of that style? The sense I get is that his desire to conform is so strong that he’s now dressing like he wants to disappear into the nearest wall he can find.

    1. ninja_jesus

      Maybe his dress sense reflects his feelings of imprisonment that he perceives from being gay; his entire life changed after he found out, and all of what he had was taken away from him with full focus on his homosexuality.

      1. The Candyman

        I don’t think a teenager would be conscious enough of those kind of things to wear their clothing based on that.

        1. ninja_jesus

          What about the various counter-cultures that teens participate in? Clothes are used as an outlet for self-expression as much as music choice and attitude towards life are. Of course, excluding that, it’s never really a conscious thing; people may see certain kinds of clothing as more comforting and secure than others.

      2. Economic_Slump

        Like I seriously get a Norman Bates vibe from this dude. Like he dresses up like Ma Siegel and OH GOD I CAN’T UNSEE

        1. Economic_Slump

          Weird how my personal email gets the Joyce Gravitar, but the one starting with my last name gets Jacob.

    2. Tandel

      It reminds me of some of the old Shortpacked! shirts. Maybe it’s alluding to that?
      *shrug*

  24. JessWitt

    Ethan, Jacob and Joe together in one place. A threesome waiting to happen.

    1. Tandel

      It needs Mike to ensure maximum devastation. Think about it… He’d instigate it to get the two-fer of spiting Joyce and Ethan’s tenuous plan, usurping the only dude that takes down Sarah’s barriers, and then make Joe forever question himself. (He could then actualize into his ultimate form: The Todd.)

      For even more bonus points, get Danny into the mix so Mike can spite… us… the readers.

  25. Cheryl

    she almost dropped the balls…I mean ball.

  26. Peruhain

    Well, that just got even more interesting. Trying to figure out whether Joyce is signaling to Ethan, “no I haven’t outed you to Sarah,” or whether she’s giving Sarah the “don’t out my boyfriend to his roomie” wave-off, or maybe both. Based on their relative positions two strips ago, Sarah does not appear to be looking in Joyce’s direction in the first panel after the frantic signaling. (But that may be over-analyzing, maybe that’s the “oops, how do I wiggle out of this one” moment of hesitation look.) In any event, this is a marvelous illustration of the tangled webs of deceit that are the closet. Joyce is now on the “other side of the closet,” still half in denial (about the implications, at least) of Ethan’s gayness, but conscious enough of what it means to all parties concerned that she must cooperate in the lie. She is thoroughly entangled, compromising one aspect of her integrity (her honesty) to save another aspect (her virginity). And Sarah . . . I can’t remember whether she knows already or not, but I have to guess from this that she does . . . she’s been entangled in Ethan’s web now, too. What a masterful illustration of this set of issues! Kudos, Willis!

    1. Peruhain

      OK, Sarah knows Ethan is gay, and she knows Joyce knows: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/03-answers-in-hennessy/unwittingly/

      1. saltchocolate

        So Joyce’s signalling is all about helping Ethan maintain his cover — on the assumption that Jacob would be homophobic . . . or that, even if he is cool with it, the more people know, the sooner EVERYONE will end up knowing.

        1. Phlebas

          More likely on the assumption that the fewer people know Ethan is gay, the less temptation they will send his way, and the simpler it will all be when he settles down to being hetero after all.

      2. John

        Sarah knows, and Ethan knows that Sarah knows, and that she has in fact known longer than Joyce has known.

  27. Varangian

    Sarah, it’s okay. It’s okay to say you want the D.

    I think everyone wants Jacob’s D a little.

    1. The Candyman

      Ethan wants it a lot.

      1. Varangian

        It’s more complicated, though! He wants the D but he doesn’t want the D to know he wants it. Or anyone else.

        He’s tsundere for the D.

    2. Tandel

      Crank up the C, crank up the D!

  28. ShaggyDonahugh

    HAHA! YOU’VE BEEN OUTED!
    No not you Ethan, go away.

  29. Kladeos

    Wow, Sarah.

  30. Questionor

    Is Joe smiling and staring at that look of horror on Amber’s face in the last comic? The angle seems right.

  31. Bob Ross

    Man, is Ethan ever a douche.

    1. Schist

      How so?

      1. Bob Ross

        Mainly for that last comic but also overall. Also I’m not sure on the ethics of not telling his roommate or something at least.

  32. Gottawonder

    Good for Sarah. Nice save, and she’s cute when she is embarrassed. She’s hot for Jacobs body from the looks of things.

    I gotta wonder if Sarah saw the shitty thing Ethan did to Amber, kissing Joyce and holding eye contact with Amber while he did it.

    If Sarah saw him do that, then she is not holding her tongue to protect his sorry ass, but for Joyce.

    Oh, Mike where are you when we need you most. This whole mess is just made to order for Mike to set aright, in his own particular way.

    1. Ourorboros

      I maintain that Ethan was thinking of Amber’s judgment and that was a sheepish look.

      1. Heavensrun

        I dunno, he kinda had his mom’s judgy angry eyebrows in that frame.

        1. Lel

          “F*ck you, I can be straight if I want to” was the vibe I got from this.
          But you can’t, Ethan. Unless batman was a chick the whole time.

      2. begbert2

        I disagree with a high degree of certainty.

  33. Bilfred

    ’twas a good save indeed.

  34. Alex Stritar

    Real smooth there, Sarah.

    1. Alex Stritar

      I don’t think I’ve seen the ‘awaiting moderation’ thing before. Is that standard procedure for Gravatar accounts? (Just got mine)

  35. NoHeart

    This may be the least sarcastic/exasperated look i’ve seen on Sarah

  36. Arkantos

    This… this expression on Sarah’s face in the last panel is new and I don’t think I like it.

    1. saltchocolate

      I think I know what you mean, Arkantos. Sarah is cutest when she’s looking confident and amused.

      1. John

        Best Sarah.

        1. John

          Hmm. Or maybe this is best Sarah. I’m not sure, but I’m kind of afraid to suggest that this one isn’t.

        2. saltchocolate

          Both.

  37. Plasma Mongoose

    What flavour is Jacob anyhow since Sal and Walky have already taken caramel.

    1. Ourorboros

      Chocolate.
      If we can find nougat, we can make a candy bar.
      If anybody’s nuts are pecan, we have a turtle bar (no nougat).

  38. Fernando

    What, Ethan doesn’t get any tag love?

    1. Nym

      Apparently when everyone shut their eyes in horrific response to that kiss, Ethan’s evil clone knocked him out and replaced him. Watch the comedy and wacky hijinks unfold as Ethan’s evil clone discovers he cannot hope to match Ethan himself in wrecking Ethan’s life.

      1. begbert2

        Ethan actually is the evil clone; his good clone is the one who replaced him.

        1. Bob Ross

          the good clone hasn’t replaced him YET that’s for sure

  39. That One Guy

    GET IT GIRL

  40. caesaria82

    Sarah is the cutest omfg.

  41. Jack Finch

    Sarah I love you.

  42. CallMeIshmael

    Ethan’s awfulness is second only to Danny’s.

    1. ninja_jesus

      Ohhhh no. Danny has nothing on Ethan. Danny, while awful, has only ever been awful unintentionally. Ethan, on the other hand, knew full well what he was doing and chose to do it anyway instead of accepting himself and trying to cope.

      1. CallMeIshmael

        Good point. Both of them are insufferable, but Ethan has vaulted into “legendary asshole” status.

      2. Drango

        So why is it that Ethan’s such a horrible person again? People aren’t allowed to decide what kind of person they want to date?

        1. begbert2

          Ethan and Joyce are mutually enabling each other with a destructive relationship that perpetuates each other’s denial of reality. It’s terrible, but at least it’s consensual.

          Or at least, that’s the official story. In actuality Ethan doesn’t give two shits about Joyce and is just using her, having given her the impression that he wants a relationship when he really only wants a beard, and barely even that. I don’t recall him ever showing her genuine affection for even a moment, and his eye wanders so hard that the minute some (apparent) manmeat walks into the room he forgets Joyce is even there. And the way he just used a hello kiss to say “fuck you, Amber” while paying no attention to the girl he was kissing, that was appalling.

          Yeah. Ethan is an unfortunate kid who’s confused and self-doubting, but (with Mike’s helpful guidiance) has entered into a relationship which he’s using as an excuse to treat people like dirt. Yay him.

        2. Lel

          Choosing to date someone you can’t romantically love is generally frowned upon in non-noble circles.
          Inb4 people telling me he could be biromantic.

    2. xain

      Danny’s awfulness is accidental and someone has to be the living embodiment of murphy’s law on the other hand what Ethan just did was horrible and totally on purpose but mark my words in a weeks time everyone will forgive Ethan and be pissed about Danny screwing up yet again.

    3. Heavensrun

      In fairness, while I agree that Ethan is terrible in this universe, he’s kinda okay here. We don’t know if Ethan knows anything at all about Jacob’s reaction to homosexuality, and not wanting to be outed to a roommate that could take any position on a spectrum from total disinterest to homophobic bullying is perfectly reasonable. And even if he was going to be “out” to Jacob, it’s his right to make that call, not Sarah’s.

      1. xain

        okay first off I was referring to the kiss last comic, not wanting to be outed is a legitimate concern. And even with what he did with the kiss I dont hate this universes Ethan. Sometime decent people behave like complete Ass-
        hats.

  43. Dude

    Sometimes I forget if Joyce remembers that Ethan is gay. This cleared that up.

    1. begbert2

      Oh, she knows all right. She’s trying to sex him up to “fix” him. (And because she’s burning with lust, but using the ‘fix him’ excuse allows her to pretend that part isn’t happening.)

      1. timemonkey

        She’s very specifically NOT trying to sex him up. Between her views on sex and her near rape trauma Ethan’s biggest appeal is his complete lack of desire to touch her sexually. Him being gay just gives her a few extra excuses to stick with it.

        1. begbert2

          I actually sort of disagree. The great appeal of Ethan is that he will never initiate anything and will (presumably) apply the brakes at around the same place her morals will allow. I state this in the mindset of complete ignorance of how a gay man would actually respond to the physical advances of a straight woman, but that’s okay: Joyce is a complete ignorant too.

          Joyce wants sexytimes, but she doesn’t want actual sex. She’s very horny and wants to kiss, and hug, and snuggle, and dance close, and maybe even to run her fingers along his manly chest. She wants to try out the experience of love and romance and physical closeness that the man will start trying to race ahead, or that she will start racing ahead and he won’t stop her. So while she isn’t looking for actual sex, she *is* (in my opinion) trying to sex him up. A little. (Heck, you can tell that just by watching her start steaming when she looks at him.)

          You can tell me you don’t like my definition of ‘is’ and dispute that you can sex him up without actually having sex, but I still maintain that Joyce isn’t in this as a charity project or as a desire for platonic friendship or even because she thinks he’s marriagable; she’s in it for the romance and, yes, the physical. The ‘within safe boundaries’ physical.

  44. nothri

    Subtle ninja moves, that.

  45. Fred

    Do we have any indications that Jacob is straight?

    1. Heavensrun

      He’s definitely attracted to females in the other continuity, and the author ascribes to a policy that sexuality between continuities is constant. Doesn’t mean he coudn’t turn out to be bi, but we haven’t seen any evidence of that thus far.

  46. Crumplepunch

    Sarah can tell a lie and a truth at the same time.

    She is some kind of sorceress.

  47. OmegaDez

    This farce has to end.

    1. Jack Finch

      It WILL end…in heartbreak, for that is the way of the Willis.

    2. Ourorboros

      They say if you say Mike’s name backwards three times he will appear and make everybody confront their issues.

      1. Jack Finch

        ren-raw kyme!
        ren-raw kyme!
        ren-raw…..psych!

  48. Markus

    sigh.. late to the party… but this lunch needs Mike.

    1. Lel

      Mike’s letting this play out. Which means it must end horribly without his intervention.

  49. man in black

    Great page

  50. Maycroft

    Whoa, sarah has drives!

  51. Volkai

    And once again, Jacob’s voice is that of Avery Brooks (Commander Sisko, DS9) in my head.

  52. Lekoppa

    When I initially read this, for some reason, my phone obscured that last panel. I spent an entire day thinking that the punchline for this strip was nothing more than Sarah giving a wacky, 4th-wall-breaking stunned expression- something like Jim, from The Office.

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