167

Connected
Posted on September 24, 2019 by David M Willis

167 thoughts on “Connected”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    I’m p sure Sarah doesn’t have a tow truck tho

    …

    no, I take that back, Sarah ABSOLUTELY has a tow truck at her beck and call, through the sheer power of SPITE

    1. Ana Chronistic

      did anyone name this shipwreck yet?

      Blowdad?

      1. Jamie

        …I don’t think that’s getting topped.

        1. butts

          unlike toedad

        2. butts

          you ever say something and immediately want to punch yourself in the face

        3. Meagan

          Pretty clever though, if disturbing

      2. krylani

        “You’ll know it when you see it.”

  2. butts

    his neck is back

    …well i mean

    can you call it a neck? i mean like… the back half of the toe

    1. Doctor_Who

      Panel 2 kinda looks like a toe just reached up and removed its nail, revealing a face underneath.

      I shall leave you with that image.

      1. Laurel Raven

        This now cannot be unseen.

    2. Keulen

      I don’t know how they found enough neck on Ross to put that brace around.

    3. motorfirebox

      Beware the flexing of his shoulder-knuckle!

    4. Pylgrim

      Knuckle?

  3. ValdVin

    I know nothing about neck braces but hope something happens to Ross now he’s removed his.

    1. tim gueguen

      Perhaps he was wearing in jail to win sympathy. He doesn’t seem smart enough to pull a gambit like that, but you never know.

    2. StClair

      he doesn’t need neck support, GOD will HEAL him.

    3. Lacuna

      I assume that it was a mistake and the doctor should have put a big toe brace around his neck.

      (Has this joke been done? I feel like it’s been done.)

  4. Kyrik Michalowski

    I am hoping this blows up in their faces in a major way. I know that it won’t be easy to get there but it would be nice to just get a solid win on removing these two forever.

    1. Nono

      They’ll never go away forever because this comic needs villains.

      Hence why I’m already so tired of this storyline.

      1. Dunedon

        Have to admit … I’m often tempted to just tune out until this gets resolved. Too much realism in a comic for me that I read for enjoyment. BUT it’s not my story to tell, so that’s my issue not Willis’s

  5. Mr. Random

    Seriously, how did Blaine get all this info?

    1. Zatar

      Mafia connections are a hell of a thing.

    2. Yumi

      Was awfully helpful to him how Amber just typed this all out in a Word document she saved to her desktop.

    3. jmsr7

      Faz, i think. Faz also stole a thumbdrive from Amber’s room.

    4. Felgraf

      Amber may have kept a journal on her laptop.

    5. thejeff

      What he knows or thinks he knows is weird.
      Somehow he knows that it was Sarah who towed the car, but he also thinks Sarah is Becky’s girlfriend? I don’t even know if Amber knew about Sarah towing Ross’s car.
      I can’t think of anything during Faz’s visit that would have made him think Becky/Sarah was a thing.

      1. Yumi

        “My daughter’s (Amber) roommate (Dina) is your daughter’s (Becky) girlfriend.”

        1. thejeff

          Oh, I read that completely wrong. Distracted by the mention and photo of Sarah, I guess.

  6. Nono

    I wonder if Becky should have been contacted when her dad was released on bail. I don’t know if there were any legal obligations to, but it’s like… ‘hey we’re releasing the shooter, should we uh, give his daughter a heads up?’.

    1. Stephen Bierce

      AFAIK if Becky had a restraining order it would have been tied to Leslie’s address, as it’s unlikely she had time to update it to Robin’s. So Leslie might get the message, but there might be a game of phone tag coming?

      1. Nono

        Becky wasn’t living with Leslie at the time, so it would have been uh, sent to her old house I guess? That or her dorm at Anderson.

        1. Needfuldoer

          He’d probably have orders to stay away from the campus thanks to the gun charge.

        2. DSL

          Yeah, those work real good.

        3. Needfuldoer

          It will make things worse for both of them when they’re caught, at least.

      2. thejeff

        Unlikely she’d have gotten a restraining order – she lacked the resources to go after one, it was never mentioned and Ross was in jail anyway.

        The lack of a way to get in touch with her is a good point. Unless she got back in touch with the legal system and updated her address they wouldn’t even know about her staying with Leslie. And she didn’t have a phone at the time – though you’d think she would have given the police Joyce’s number.

        There could be a notice waiting at her official home address, I suppose.

    2. Huehuetotl

      Don’t overestimate law enforcement’s competence.

      1. Kat

        I can’t underestimate their competence when I am too busy holding a valid opinion of the average bureaucrat’s motivation to do their job right.

  7. Zatar

    A competition to see who the grossest dude is were the guy who brought a GUN to a SCHOOL is somehow not the only possible answer.

    1. Jon Rich

      Really brings things into perspective where the guy who brought a gun to campus to threaten and-or shoot his own daughter is somehow the lesser of the two.

      And yes, I label him the lesser grossness, because Blaine is pulling his strings. And also because Ross at least has some horrifically misguided protective motivation, while Blaine is powered purely by spite and not wanting to pay money to support his daughter. And also because Blaine’s goal is to wreck more lives than Ross’s.

      1. James

        I mean, he certainly calls it protective, but that doesn’t make it true. It’s about exerting control and trying to force Becky back into fitting with the image of what he thinks she was and should be.

        1. Mollyscribbles

          To put it another way, he seems to be lying to himself about it being protective. Compared to Blaine, who at best is doing it to whine about the expense of tuition that he’s legally required to pay.

  8. Cheshrin

    Caaaareful, Toedad. If you took your neck brace off too early like that, you might cause yourself further long-term harm. And we wouldn’t want anything bad or painful to happen to you as a direct consequence of your own bad choices, would we? (/sarcasm)

    (Though to be fair it’s not like his character design has much of a neck to brace.)

    1. Jon Rich

      Toedad dies three strips later of a broken neck. The fandom rejoices.

  9. Delicious Taffy

    These two can fuck off now.

    1. LeslieBean4shizzle

      I read your comment initially as “these two can fuck now” and I was like – whoa now, that’s a Slipshine I DO NOT want to see.

      This may also have something to do with Ana talking about their “ship name” above. **shivers**

      1. Zatar

        Lol I made the same mistake.

      2. tim gueguen

        I don’t think Willis will write a “Man 1 suggests having sex with Man 2, Man 2’s head explodes as a result” strip.

        1. Piotr W

          … I’d read that.

        2. Andy

          The best part is either of those assholes can be Man 1 or Man 2.

  10. Thursday Violist

    “God made us one…”

    Like he made Adam and Eve one.

    ;p

  11. Chaucer59

    One evil man plus one angry ignoramus—what could possibly go wrong?

    1. Zatar

      *Two evil men.

      1. Kavonde

        One evil man us one evil, angry ignoramus.

  12. Confuzor

    Faz?

    1. Jamie

      Faz’s hair graces the photo in the bottom right corner. It fills the area in a percentage which can be seen in this chart.

  13. Fart Captor

    I gotta say, I don’t care for this ship at ALL

    1. BigDogLittleCat

      It’s the Exxon Valdez.

      1. Needfuldoer

        At least we knew how much filth would come out of that thing.

  14. abysswatcher1993

    The lassic neutral evil guy trying to keep the chaotic evil guy at bay. It’s like Lex Luthor trying to keep to Joker working for him, which is a bad idea on the long run.

    Also, if Toe Dad begins saying something on the lines of Deus Vult, Tanya Degrechaff will feel it from another universe and cringe.

    1. abysswatcher1993

      classic* Degurechaff*

  15. Bicycle Bill

    Ah, yes.  The “God works in mysterious ways” line of reason.
    Next, he’ll be citing the apostle Paul in his second letter to Timothy, about being “instruments in the hands of God.”
    It’s gonna get worse before it gets better, I’m afraid.

    1. abysswatcher1993

      Toddler Walky: “Our good actions are god working through us.”

    2. tim gueguen

      In this case the instrument is a baritone horn, with a clarinet mouthpiece, that’s been run over by a tank.

      1. Needfuldoer

        “Had to use parts from different horns.”

        MASH S06 E15 The Smell of Music

        1. Marsh Maryrose

          For a moment there I was thinking Tim had re-invented the Sarrusophone. Then I remembered that Sarrusophones are mostly double reeds, and a Sarrusophone with a clarinet mouthpiece is functionally a Saxophone.

          So I think Tim is onto something. Something that PDQ Bach would have written a sonata for.

      2. Geneseepaws

        Best ever is the TromBoon, by Peter Schickley. Mouthpiece of a bassoon, with a slide trombone. Make the hair in your neck flee in fear.

    3. Marsh Maryrose

      “Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.”

  16. Proto

    how is it that I’m rooting for the school shooter to go AWOL again?

    I guess good job making Blaine competent enough that he’s the greater of two evils?

  17. BBCC

    I hate them both. Blaine you evil manipulative bastard.

    1. JetstreamGW

      Oh come on, it’s a little funny how easy this manipulation is. Ross is not a smart man.

      1. BBCC

        I still hate them both. 😛

  18. Lacuna

    I wonder if Blaine could have avoided this by being friendly with someone from Joyce’s church and getting them to act as a middleman.

    Then again, that might invite bigger problems from his perspective.

    1. Lacuna

      Middleman for Toe Dad, I mean. In case I wasn’t clear.

      1. Lee

        I mean didn’t he get in touch with Joyce’s church to organize the bail? He could easily have met Joyce’s mum who iirc sided with Blaine.

    2. Zatar

      Honestly he might just be worried that they wouldn’t hold Toedad back.

      1. thejeff

        More likely that they wouldn’t be interested in his “scare Amber out of college” plan. They might support Ross going after Becky, but they’d have no interest in Blaine’s real target.

    3. TemperaryObsessor

      Bringing someone else in would be a bad idea.
      For one thing he already knows Ross shares many of his values (men are head of the household by force if nescisary), its kind of a crap shoot if anyone else he brings in will or not.
      For another thing he’s being relatively transparent about things and he does not need more people who might tip off the cops.
      You can get a lot of mileage out of threatening Ethan.
      Mike tends to stick his nose into other peoples business and knows too much. I wouldn’t be too upset if something happened to Mike.

    4. BlackoutCreature

      No, this is a conversation that Blaine wants as few ears on as possible. I know we like to consider Joyce’s families church as a bunch of uniform religious zealots who will do any morally dodgy thing imaginable in the name of God, but I think we’ve seem enough of them to know that some of them (like Joyce’s Dad) would easily see through this conversation and realize this has nothing to do with church or family and is just Blaine trying to manipulate other people into settling his own beefs.

  19. JetstreamGW

    It all makes sense now! Ross is an alien! Look at that “fellow Christian” dodge. He doesn’t understand humans and he’s trying to fit in badly!

    “I will shake your hand with my human hand, not a proboscis as a zorblat would have!”

  20. Zero

    Well, if God truly exists Ross, then he’ll strike the two of you down for daring to try and pull this crap and justify it with his name.

    May your immortal souls burn in hell when you finally bite the bullet.

    1. Ron

      Nobody dies in this story. I thought of starting off with “sadly,” but I for one don’t wish them death. I think that is a bit of a barbaric thing to want. I would like them to get roughed up and locked up (and possibly lose some motor function to remind them of their mortality).

  21. Adrianna

    It sure was nice not having to look at this man for a few years

  22. 3oranges

    Don’t stop there, Blaine! We’re so close to having an evil version of the old cast description page! If only you had some putrescent vomit to burble up about Walky, Dorothy, Billie, and Sal, you could complete this purpose and move on to oblivion.

  23. Nenja

    Blaine’s clearly done his research.

    1. Michael Haneline

      I mean, that was the whole point of the Faz visit.

  24. Plasma Mongoose

    These guys are a ringing endorsement for atheism.

    1. tim gueguen

      I suspect the only gods Blaine worships are himself and the almighty dollar.

      1. Norah

        Blaine’s doing the same thing to Ross that tRump does to his American evangelical supporters. He’s the same kind of person, though not as successful in life (though probably more intelligent.)

    2. Bryy

      Gotta love how Ross was looking ready to beat Blaine up simply for saying something. Ross is 100% gonna go off-plan the moment he sees a woman wearing denim jeans.

    3. Charles Phipps

      Blaine is an atheist. He just feels like he can use religion to manipulate Ross.

  25. shadowcell

    “God Made Us One, So We Must Act As One – A Dumbing of Age Pornographique”

    1. SuperZero

      No thank you.

    2. Keulen

      The Slipshine nobody wants to see.

  26. bea

    toedad, not remembering blaine’s name at all: thank you………………………..fellow christian

    1. Bagge

      Heh!

  27. Aprion

    let’s hope these two get eaten by a flock of flying piranhas.

  28. SuperZero

    Sarah towed his car?
    Wow, she’s stronger than I thought.

  29. Bagge

    Ross is in this comic.

    Might just as well tag Joyce’s fists and be done with it.

  30. mrnoidea

    I just wanted to let you know that, in my mind, Jigsaw came up as Toedad’s voice.

    1. PB

      Tobin Bell? Not a bad choice.

  31. Brotato

    Oh man, what a positive birthday comic!
    …wait

    1. JBento

      Happy birthday!

  32. Ron

    I like how the argument “all of them versus the two of us” does not at all justify the conclusion “we should be patient”. Blaine just says something that sounds mystical to Ross and therefore it must be true, just like those unrelated things he said before.

    It’s a clear example of thinking in absolutes: if someone is a good christian, he (not “they” because women are not really people) MUST be right and anyone else, well, the opposite of what they say must be true, for they are all out to get us good christians (and our wives and daughters).

  33. enigma42

    uh shouldn’t the college have put Ross on some kind of list by now I mean being an active shooter on government property is not something you ignore

    1. DrWattson

      You would think, but he is a straight white Christian man in DEEP red Indiana.

    2. Sazazezer

      Most likely Campus Security will be familiar with him and have him on the Watch List to kick him out of they see him (they have a similar thing with Blaine if i recall).

      At the same time though it is Ross after all. He’s just plain not going to care. He just doesn’t see things that way. He is literally incapable of seeing what he’s doing as a plan to kidnap and cause harm. Such is his delusion.

  34. BenRG

    Either Blaine is super-paranoid or he’s found some way of controlling Ross via a narrative, no matter how implausible. In either case, he missed his calling; I’m pretty sure he could have started his own religion, given his talent for oratory!

    1. StClair

      It’s not that he’s great at speaking, his audience is just very stupid.

      …. so yeah, cult leader at least.

  35. FacelessDeviant

    “God made us one, so we much act as one!”

    This promises to be an…interesting slipshine.

  36. Tualha

    Blaine: We are connected!

    Lain: Everyone is connected!

  37. DSL

    With some folks, all you have to do is appeal to the proper authority and they’ll think whatever you want them to think. Ironically, many of these folks claim _they’re_ the ones “thinking for myself,” unlike all the rest of us “sheeple.”

  38. Zaxares

    You were so close, Ross. Soooo close to thinking for yourself.

    1. Bagge

      Eh, the odds are not good Ross thinking for himself would improve anything.

      1. 3oranges

        He wouldn’t do better things, but he’d likely fail and get arrested faster, which is a plus.

  39. Alan in DC

    Where is O’Malley getting all these photos and intel from? They are both quite detailed. Is this what he tapped Asher for?

    1. Cheshrin

      At the very least, the picture of Joyce and Sarah came from Blaine himself; the last strip shows Faz in the side of the photo and that it’s raining, suggesting he took it while in the back seat of the car when Yuri came to pick Faz up.

    2. thejeff

      The photos are from Faz’s visit or from Amber’s childhood. I think he actually took the ones with Joyce & Sarah from the back of the car when he & Yuri picked Faz up. Faz is in that picture of Sarah today and both Amber and Joyce were also visible in the one yesterday. The pictures of Ethan and Mike yesterday were probably old – Amber’s in one with a hair style closer to the flashbacks than anything she’s worn in the present.

      Other than that the info is detailed, but oddly wrong. He somehow knows about Sarah having Ross’s car towed, but thinks she’s Becky’s girlfriend? I don’t know how Faz would have found out about the first or even if Amber knew and I’ve got no idea where the second idea came from. Unless he just leapt to a conclusion.

      1. Clif

        What makes you think Blaine thinks Sarah is Becky’s girlfriend??? Did I miss a strip where he indicated Amber and Sarah were roommates? That happens sometimes.

        1. thejeff

          Nah, I just completely misread this strip. Picture of Sarah and comment about “your daughter’s girlfriend”.

        2. Bicycle Bill

          “your daughter’s girlfriend”.  That would be Dina, who Toedad has indeed met.  I’m just wondering why Blaine assumes that Dina and Becky are “lez be friends”, rather than just friends.  Toedad, on the other hand, hears the word “girlfriend” and since he knows why Becky was kicked out of Anderson automatically assumes the worst.

        3. thejeff

          Probably through Faz’s snooping.

      2. Mitsukara

        Figuring out that Dina and Becky are a couple isn’t a big deal (there’s a lot of obvious signs, and Amber actually is likely to mention it privately), but I am a little confused how Blaine knows Sarah had Tow-Dad’s car towed.

  40. Alex

    “I should be patient…”

    No, you should be a patient in a mental institution!

    What a way to treat your child 🙁

  41. David Doty

    Willis, I accuse you of having entirely too much fun putting all of these evangelical platitudes into the mouth of this toe.

  42. Heavensrun

    How funny would it be if after all this planning, they get jumped by the cops as soon as they approach campus, because Toedad is under surveillance as unstable?

    1. SillyGoose

      I guess it would qualify as comic relief then.

    2. Dr. T

      They are basically on campus now. There literally are university offices in the building on the floors above that restaurant.

  43. goggleman64

    Ross, don’t just discard your neck brace. Your face is on track for levels of punchability previously unknown to humanity; you’re gonna need that support.

  44. Deanatay

    Whew! So glad Blaine was able to get Toedad under control…

    wait

  45. JBento

    “I should be claiming [my daughter] now.” might be the grossest thing anyone has ever said in DoA. Ross is finally good at something. Yay?

  46. Charlotte

    Still can’t believe they just let him walk out. He’s not shy about announcing his intention to immediately repeat his crime.

    1. King Daniel

      Like was mentioned back then, the Indiana state constitution mandates bail to be set for everyone (with a single exception in place for those accused of murder).

  47. Rosstifer

    Toedad is genuinely offended by the word ‘girlfriend’, but sees nothing wrong with trying to kill his daughter for being gay…

    1. thejeff

      He’s not really trying to kill her. He’s trying to save her. By driving out the demons of homosexuality or something.
      Killing others along the way is just collateral. Of course, killing her is still preferable to leaving her in her state of sin.

  48. Bunny

    Ross is going after his daughter. He’s attempted suicide in the past. I don’t know if he wants to kidnap Becky to “re-educated” her or if he’s thinking murder suicide. But when he attempts it, He might be hampered by Becky’s proximity to the congresswoman.

    If it looks like some loon is advancing onnthe congresswoman with a fun, Ross might get dead real fast. It would be unchristian to hope so.

    1. thejeff

      He hasn’t actually attempted suicide, though he was apparently willing to accept suicide by cop in his attempt to reclaim her. “I’d die for you.”

      1. StClair

        Martyring yourself in a holy cause totally isn’t suicide. Really.
        (Very convenient loophole for people trying, consciously or otherwise, to get around an explicit prohibition.)

  49. Bristingr

    Why is Faz tagged in this strip?

    1. thejeff

      He’s in the photo of Sarah. Along with Joyce. He was there yesterday as well.

  50. hof1991

    Can help but feel that Blaine knows about AG. This seems wildly out of proportion for saving college expenses. But them Ross is ready to die / kill for control of his daughter, so maybe not.

    1. Clif

      Blaine does not know Amber and Amazigirl share the same meatware. His daughter is timid, weak, and ineffectual in spite of his best efforts at criticizing her. Amazigirl is a vicious vigilante who beat the crap out of him. And their voices are completely different. Amber is his property to correct and Amazigirl is his enemy to be destroyed. It would be difficult to convince him that they are identical.

  51. Joey245

    Real talk: I like how Ross almost paused when he saw Joyce. Instead of being enraged immediately, he said it in a way that was like “oh no…not her.”

    Maybe that’s just me projecting and trying to find good in this, because honestly both these characters need to be beheaded in the street, but I liked that little detail.

    1. Dana

      That’s how I took it too. It’s not hard to imagine that from his messed up perspective he’s done his best by his daughter’s lifelong friend.

    2. thejeff

      It’s just the devil trying to tempt him away from his righteous path. Don’t worry. He won’t weaken.

    3. PB

      “Quick, is there a verse in the Bible for when someone you once drove to Six Flags is encouraging your daughter’s sin.”

      … It wouldn’t leave my brain.

    4. Lex

      I like that detail, too. Both Blaine and Ross are different kinds of controlling patriarchal buttfaces, but Ross is a religious zealot who genuinely believes he’s acting in Becky’s best interests whereas Blaine is a mob stooge who knows he’s only acting in his own interests. It’s not hard to believe that Ross would at least be uncomfortable with the idea of hurting Joyce.

  52. PB

    I can’t read these pages, they’re all covered in barf whenever I try.

    1. PB

      Hey quick question while I’m at it: what are the chances of someone overhearing them, connecting the dots and reporting their asses?

      1. Dr. T

        I was about to say that they are arguing loudly inside a rather small establishment about harming college kids. Plus, they literally are less than 100 feet from where Ross pulled his car over (going the wrong way, I might add), pulled out a gun, and chased after his daughter and her girlfriend. Someone there might actually recognize him.

  53. Tomn

    Feels like this strip is foreshadowing how their partnership is going to fall apart eventually: With Toedad going off-script at a critical moment because of zealotry, and Blaine flipping the fuck out over it and forgetting to add the modifying “because God” words, letting Toedad get an idea of just how much raw contempt Blaine actually has for him.

    Even odds this ends with both of them beating the crap out of each other.

    1. Victor Riley

      I’d be good with that.

    2. tim gueguen

      I suspect Ross will be little more than a punching bag for Blaine if they get into a brawl.

  54. NinjaNick

    Thank God Ross’ neck has healed. It’ll be broken again someday.

  55. Lothos

    So what I really want to see…. Is them plotting and meanwhile the camera pulls back and…. Joe or someone is sitting in the booth hearing all of this…

    Also I’m kind of surprised Ruth’s Ahole Grandfather isn’t bankrolling the whole evil plot.

    1. tim gueguen

      Now there’s a potential plot twist, Evil Grandpa is plotting something, and his plot crashes headlong into Blaine’s plot.

    2. Lex

      I think it would be kind of neat if Asher redeemed himself somehow and helped to shut down this plot before someone gets killed.

      1. tim gueguen

        Fortunately for Blaine Willis has said no one is going to die, or we might see a “Blaine becomes a dangerous liability for his criminal associates and ends up in a drum full of concrete someplace.”

    3. Jhon

      Joe or somebody? We don’t know where Jacob intends to meet Raidah. So she might be listening to this.

  56. BBCC

    https://twitter.com/Celeste_pewter/status/1176604723203334144

    For those of you getting hopped up on the possibility of getting rid of Agent Orange.

  57. Kingmonster

    Dang it. Ross is a pile of critically failed insight checks.

    Imbecile. This is why making intelligence a dump stat on top of the zealot path is such a headache. Any schmuck can just walk up to you and have you dancing in their palm.

    1. Charles Phipps

      Weirdly, I don’t think he is. Ross’ idiocy is correctly recognizing nothing Blaine says makes sense. I mean, he’s still a human ****stain but Blaine’s manipulations are stupid and plan is even dumber. Something Ross is aware of.

      1. DSL

        Except that all it takes override that awareness is to say: Trust me, this is how God wants it.

  58. Jade

    That last panel with Toedad’s eyes going all anime shiny is making me uncomfortable D:

    It’s like this whole page is one big “bro… bro…” meme.

  59. Icalasari

    Mike is going to get hospitalized or worse taking these two out, but it’ll act as a redemption arc for him. Calling it now

    1. Charles Phipps

      But do any of us want Mike redeemed? Let him exalt in his evil from a throne of troll posts.

      1. PB

        (thumps fists on table) Redemption arc! Redemption arc!

  60. DarkoNeko

    Toedad is so mean, dumb and guillible, it never ceases to amaze me.

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