231

Consistent
Posted on May 20, 2014 by David M Willis

231 thoughts on “Consistent”

  1. luxlucis

    Sooooo, shot by her own petard?

    1. Maveric1984

      Hoisted by it even.

      1. captain dildo

        hoist, rather

        1. Andrusi

          Moist?

        2. Zababcd

          I thought, ‘So there is someone who knows the correct wording. Congratulations; you are quite the sophisticate, captain– hmm.’

        3. Zababcd

          Now that I think about it, I think the standard form is ‘hoist with’, not ‘hoist by’.

        4. John

          The line from Hamlet is: “Hoist with his own petard”.

        5. Deanatay

          Which, BTW, literally means ‘lifted by his own explosive’. It originally referred to explosive experts who placed explosives (petards) to undermine walls, and got caught in their own backblasts.

        6. djhash

          Sideshow Bob: Oh dear…Sideshow Bob…hoist…on his own petard…
          Lisa: It’s hoist with his own petard.
          Sideshow Bob: Oh get a life.

        7. Deanatay

          (BTW, ‘petar’ is Middle French for ‘fart’. Just to lower the conversation a little further.)

        8. Bill

          There was also a French entertainer during La Belle Epoque by the name of Le Pétomane who made stage appearances as, to put it delicately, a professional flatulist (farter).

          This is also the joke behind the name of the governor in “Blazing Saddles”.

  2. Jen Aside

    “I also keep a spare Amazi-Girl in the closet for special occasions.”

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Live-Doll or Inflatable?

      1. LeslieBean4Shizzle

        Love Pillow, obviously. :p

        1. cesium133

          It was left behind by Faz.

        2. KingMabel

          I have Dina guarding it in case he comes looking for it

        3. JustCheetoDust

          And fireproof in this universe.

        4. LWS

          Mike will rent it for a nickel…

      2. StClair

        Robot double.

    2. Jen Aside

      …I read it as “My Amazi-Girl is WAY hotter.”

  3. MightionNY

    Well… that was what is called a Scene Change. 😀

    1. Daibhid C

      “Later, at Stately Amber’s Dorm Corridor…”

  4. Metroidwave

    Can we star to make amber isn’t amazigirl jokes again?

    1. Seerow

      I sure hope so.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      I seriously doubt it, Willis is sensitive when it comews to certain overused jokes.

      1. Jen Aside

        If you’re gonna regurgitate the same joke a billion times, at least spice it up! Spicy barf is at least different.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Plus corn always makes it seem slightly better.

    3. Doctor_Who

      Why not? Billie’s making them.

      And I see no reason Billie isn’t intended to be a perfect role model in every way, so go for it.

    4. newllend

      I think we found the only person who’s slower than Danny.

      1. Ben

        Nah, Billie’s totally shmammered. She’d be all over that (bow-chicka-bow-wow) if she were sober.

      2. Rutee

        Wait, did I miss Billy making out with Amazi-girl for a few hours? o.o

        1. Makkabee

          It’s posted all over mypervertedslashficcyimagination.com (don’t go to mypervertedslashficcyimagination.gov, some things cannot be unseen).

        2. John

          Billie wishes.

    5. King G

      I don’t truly believe that Amber is Amazi-Girl.
      In actuality, Amazi-Girl is Amber.

      The distinction is subtle, but still important.

  5. Mr. Random

    Billie. Go to bed. You’re drunk. And that’s not going to help your case.

  6. Yotomoe

    Don’t flatter yourself Amber. You call that an Amazi-rack?

    1. Maveric1984

      And maybe it’s just the Butts Disease talking, but you totally have a bigger but than her.

      1. Leonou

        And what’s with the lame haircut ?

  7. Spectre

    I can only imagine how Amber will feel if the paper doesn’t end up outing her.

    1. JustCheetoDust

      Not too bad, if she only keeps telling drunk people.

    2. Yotomoe

      A combination of good and “Damnit”.

      1. JustCheetoDust

        Considering the “goddammit” level of failure the past few days that spectrum isn’t quite so broad.

      2. Gigafreak

        Gooddammit, Malaya!

    3. timemonkey

      Probably lead to a confrontation with Dorothy. She’ll need to know what’s up since this could be used as blackmail.

      1. Shadow12000

        Guess we’ll find out later, or at least that’s what my not-so-spidey senses are telling me.

        1. begbert2

          Nope, we will never find out ever. The comic’s going to switch over to be about Faz’s efforts to court Dina and will never shift back. We’ll never see Sal, Billie, or Dorothy again, and all we’ll hear from Amber are a few comments from off-panel to her roommate. Which will never mention Amazi-girl at all.

          Seriously though, the “Damn you, Willis!”‘s would be epic.

        2. Jen Aside

          next comic: The forever-return of LAWesome!

  8. Doctor_Who

    Bad idea, Amber. Billie tries to kiss Amazi-Girls when she’s drunk.

    Bad news for you, I mean, we’re all about that stuff.

    1. John

      It’s the other universe where Amber gets kissed by all the ladies.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Weirder things have happened in DoA.

        1. Maveric1984

          Ain’t no way!

          (I’ve had that Foo Fighters song stuck in my head since seeing this abbreviation tonight…)

      2. Kas

        Can’t that be all the universes, though?

        1. Makkabee

          It certainly should be.

    2. Mr k

      And that’s when Amber/Billie starts.

      1. Insane beaver

        I’d ship Bamber!

        1. AgentKeen

          That sounds like it should be a ‘ship involving Emeril.

    3. Yotomoe

      I’d draw it if I had not already drawn them kissing.

  9. sps48

    Billie already did the drinking. Is being drunk different from possession of alcohol?

    1. Doctor_Who

      I worked in my dorm, at the front desk. Our policy was if an underage student comes in with alcohol we call an RA, but if they just come in drunk (and don’t look in danger of dropping dead) there’s not much we can do about it.

      1. LWS

        My older daughter was an RA for 2 years in college and my younger daughter is currently the graduate assistant over the RAs for 3 dorms on campus. Between them they’ve had some monumental cases of stupidity to deal with. Funniest thing is that they have to give 60 seconds notice before they can enter a dorm room. They can’t go looking for booze but if it’s out in plain sight they can write up underage drinkers. So they knock on the door, announce “RA!,” and listen to the desperate clinking of bottles and trashing of beer cans as the residents try to play beat the clock to hide the booze. Then the RA goes in & 20 people are trying to stand around looking innocent (with nothing to drink…).

    2. Yotomoe

      Well she doesn’t HAVE any alcohol with her at the moment.

      1. 3oranges

        And the one walking around with a container of alcohol is Amber.

        1. Ancestral Hamster

          And as an example to other underage drinkers, the container of alcohol that Amber is toting shall be taken away and destroyed in front of them! 😛

        2. begbert2

          The container’s already smashed, so the job’s half done.

    3. timemonkey

      Two different crimes. How they’re treated varies.

    4. David

      It is possession by alcohol.

  10. MrSirk

    Things can only go up from here.

  11. Masaru

    At least she’s not caving in on herself even more than I expected her to. Which is good. And she’s at least being her and not forcing to the persona.

  12. John

    That’s Ruth’s door, right?

    1. Maveric1984

      yup

      1. newllend

        know a song that might go with this
        http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zIa4xKHQB_k

        1. Maveric1984

          …you…you ok dude? Want a hug?

    2. EvergreenFir

      That was my question too. How do we know it’s hers?

      1. David M Willis

        By comparing it versus the other times it’s appeared!

        1. Shadow12000

          That, and, common sense. There’s not many other people that Billie would get so sad for not letting her in that she’d get drunk and sit outside of their room.

        2. David

          The booze vending room…

        3. begbert2

          Well that makes more sense than my guess, which was that Sal had locked her out of their shared bedroom because…I dunno?

        4. Lumus

          Sal’s locked her out of the bedroom until she learns to use the window like a normal person.

      2. Annie

        Because Ruth’s door has a small, official looking plaque on her door identifying it as the RA’s room. When the other doors have names on them, they’re big, colorful, showy things that the occupants decorated themselves.

        1. John

          The other rooms have plaques, too, but they’re smaller. Room number, I figure; I don’t think we’ve ever gotten a close enough look at one to tell.

          But it’s possible that plaque might say “Supply Closet” or something. It’d be pretty funny in an awful kind of way if Ruth were sitting in her room thinking, “Y’know, maybe I was too hard on Billie. I should give her another chance, help her get off the sauce, actually check in to make sure she’s not cheating this time. But she’s got to come to me and apologize so I know she’s serious about it,” while Billie’s scratching at a drunkenly-misidentified supply closet door going, “I’m sorry Ruth… lemme in… I’m so sorry… why won’t you talk to me?”

  13. Raptorman

    Nah, she’s hammered and not threatening to drive….let her live this time.

    1. Mr k

      She’ll drive and end up killing someone. Possibly Danny.

      1. StClair

        We can hope.

      2. JWLM

        No, that’d be Ruth.

    2. Wack'd

      Hey, there’s a thought–Sal and friends were all using wheeled implements to get around. It’s a good thing that they didn’t have enough beer to get drunk.

  14. TimeLoss

    Seeing Billie slowly self-destruct is just… Really painful.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Amber is on a similar road to self-distruction but with less booze and more spandex.

      1. KingMabel

        Sounds like 80% of wrestlers from the 80’s

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Almost as they had way more steroids.

        2. Shadow12000

          Wait wait wait, where are we going? I thought this bus was going to S&M Street, not Wrestler Lane. This is the wrong way entirely!

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Oh you wanted the 824 bus then, this is the H24 bus, a common mistake I can assure you.

    2. Rutee

      I know. As soon as I realized that was Ruth’s door, well…

  15. Gadgeteer Smashwidget

    Nooooes~

    Ruth, let Billie in~

    She wuvs roooo

    1. Doctor_Who

      I think it would probably be better if their next confrontation took when Billie’s BAC was under four.

      Yes, Billie’s blood is 400% alcohol. Don’t ask me how.

      1. Yotomoe

        She has more alcohol in her blood than JESUS.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          But Jesus still beats her when it comes to flesh-wafer content.

        2. Jay Eff

          Jesus also has way, way more blood, seeing as how you can go to thousands of churches to get it…

        3. JustCheetoDust

          Dat low platelet count.

        4. Shadow12000

          Jesus is actually still alive, remember? He’s being held somewhere in the world and his blood is slowly drained out in order to divide it around the world’s churches. That’s what all the donations go towards, cause it’s so rare and expensive. Same with the flesh, they get just enough so it can grow back.

          Has this been depicted somewhere? Or has everyone just thought “Nah that’s…that’s going a bit far”?

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          I can just about imagine Jesus hung on a cross like Lilith in Evangelion.

        6. JustCheetoDust

          Are you sure there isn’t someone else you should be thinking of when it comes to crucifixion?

        7. Plasma Mongoose

          Schwarzenegger died for our sins?

        8. JustCheetoDust

          More like for James Earl Jones’ benefit.

        9. syd

          Always look on the briiiiiiiiiiiight siiiiiiiiiide of life. *whistles*

        10. Jen Aside

          “–and I said, ‘Drink this cup, it is my blood.'”
          “You said WHAT???”
          “…I said, ‘Drink this cup, it is my blood.'”
          “Butbutbut… that’s vampirism! You’ve got vampirism on day one of my new religion!”
          “…oh.”

        11. JustCheetoDust

          She’s like the Beatles, but for intoxication.

      2. Zach

        Compression.

  16. Jay Eff

    …and there’s an ad for Spinnerette just below today’s comic.

    The ads read webcomics, too!

    1. Shadow12000

      Ads are usually randomized, and webcomics usually have ads for whomever else is on the same network.

  17. Jih

    YAY, Amber did something good tonight!

  18. Tom Speelman

    BILLIE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  19. timemonkey

    And now she’s taking her straight to Sal. XD

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I forgot about that bit of info, I wonder if she’s home yet?

      1. -Sentinel-

        She had a bike, so I would assume she’s back unless she had something else to do tonight.

        1. Maveric1984

          Finding a new parking lot to drink in.

      2. newllend

        Amber: ” You again!? ”

        Sal : “hafe I met ya before?”

        Amber: ” we just mer earlier in the parking lot.”

        Sal:” YOUR Amazo-gal !?”

        Amber” Amazi-girl!-I mean no!”

        Billie: ” I thought you just said you were?”

        Amber:”NO I uh…Damnit !”

        1. Maveric1984

          WRONG VOWEL DAMMIT!

        2. Shadow12000

          You know, Sal could be the one who’s not facepalmingly oblivious and immediately recognize her. She had never heard of nor seen Amazi-girl before, so I expect this to be goooooood.

        3. JWLM

          “Nah. Amazo’s taller than you.”

      3. JustCheetoDust

        Not if she has to account for people using slower means of transportation, as suggested in yesterday’s comments.

    2. Maveric1984

      That sounds exactly like something Hexadecimal would set up.

      Willis too for that matter.

      1. timemonkey

        All shall burn, but nevermind, it will be glorious.

    3. Yotomoe

      Oh man. I didn’t even think of that.

    4. Kifre

      Just waiting for drunken Billie to insist to Amber that Sal is Amazi-Girl. That will end….interestingly.

  20. synnerman

    Oh no…

    I bet it’s perilously close to dawn.

    1. Kernanator

      “Perilously close to dawn”? Is Amber a gargoyle? Or does she turn into a pumpkin at sunrise?

      1. ditrysia

        Sal will be back at dawn.

        1. Shadow12000

          That poor joke…you murdered it in cold blood…

  21. caesaria82

    Way harsh, Billie xD

  22. Masaru

    ..and then my girlfriend reminded me that Sal and Billie are roommates.

    1. HoshiHikara

      This can only go down hill from here! Unless this takes a total one-eighty and Willis draws more porn for us.

      1. JustCheetoDust

        Imagine that, Amber can’t escape the hatefucks no matter what universe she’s in.

      2. Historyman68

        It could be both.

    2. shietka

      OH MY GOD.

      1. Yotomoe

        Masaru has a girlfriend!? What a lucky person!

        1. HoshiHikara

          I am the girlfriend. Which makes my gravatar even funnier. Because I really think Mike would do it with Jacob just to cause Ethan some form of mental trauma…

        2. Yotomoe

          Mike’d do it to. Wouldn’t even charge him a nickel.

        3. Shadow12000

          And in another universe, Mike has done it with Ethan. For mental trauma’s sake. So yeah, I can see it.

  23. arank11

    Okay, I’ve suffered enough today! First, the Warehouse 13 series finale makes me sob like a newborn baby, and now you throw that second panel at me?! No! Not okay, Willis! I’ve had enough feels for tonight!

  24. Romanticide

    So she will take Billie to her dorm room… that she shares with Sal… ok…

  25. Lone Wolf

    Amber, dude! Spoilers! C’mon, have some consideration!

    1. AgentKeen

      I know! I totally didn’t see that coming.

  26. newllend

    OK let’s see all the different reactions I have for that last strip.

    1. How could you tell your drunk, well to be fair she couldn’t tell when she was sober either.

    2.Damn that’s the second blow to her pride Sal has given her tonight.

    3.Ya and she’s taller and has darker skin with longer hair witch I think is a wig.

    4. Billie: ” If your Amazi-girl then I’m a Bisexual…. Wait a minute.”

    1. Shadow12000

      Slurring of speech is usually a telltale sign of being drunk. One could argue that crying can also slur speech some, but I’m assuming she can tell the difference.

      1. begbert2

        There’s also the possibility that she smells like a distillery.

        1. jesslin

          Also also, the fact that there are beer bubbles over her head. Clear giveaway, always look for the bubbles.

          Or, she just ate soap. Either way, clear indication she needs help.

        2. John

          Maybe that’s why Billie’s F-bomb stats have been dropping off so hard lately. She washed her mouth right out.

  27. Khaner

    There is in fact a difference between repair and prevention. Amazi-Girl was preventing a crime through violence. Amber is repairing a situation with kindness.

  28. Jack Finch

    Amber is allowed to show mercy.

  29. Optimus Prime

    Willis, you mad, mad genius.

    1. Ed Rhodes

      …I read your strip!

  30. Kernanator

    Amazi-Girl is also several inches taller than you, and has super-dense bones.

    1. AgentKeen

      Heh, now I have the lyrics to ‘Skeleton Man’ in my head.

  31. Miao

    Calling it now, Sal’s gonna be in the room

    1. Jen Aside

      I doubt it, Sal has a date with Danny

      1. newllend

        Thought that was tomorrow or in our time a week from now.

        1. Opus the Poet

          Some time in October, our time…

        2. Rabid Rabbit

          Remember, though, ideally Amber walks in on Sal with Danny. So do not crush our hopes.

          Oh, who am I kidding. As if Danny would be up at dawn.

        3. Jen Aside

          I thought Joe was the one who couldn’t be arsed to be 1. in class 2. this early AND 3. dressed.

  32. Nym

    Oh, man, Billie. 🙁

  33. Idon'tcarenomore

    Amber is still addressing the situation as if she and Amazi-girl are separate people. Not good.
    But, she is acting like Amber would as Amber, so that’s good.
    She’s helping Billie, maybe. If Billie is so wiped that putting her to bed could kill her, not so good.

    Yeah, Sal has gotta be home.
    Amber has had enough time to find her hidden pack, dress, and walk home to the dorms. Sal and group may have found another parking lot and another 6 pack, but even then, should have had time to drink it and talk about crazy Amazo, and go home. Especially if they dropped Malaya off and went straight to dorms.

    I’m guess this is going to be Amber’s chance to right herself with Sal. She will confess she is Amazi-girl and they will talk it out. After all, she is going to be exposed in the paper tomorrow, so why not.

    1. Maveric1984

      I agree that Amber trying to separate her two personas like that is still bad, and she certainly still needs to seek help, but she’s shying away from the violent Amazi-Girl persona, which is a step in the right direction.

      1. John

        Amazi-Girl isn’t the violent persona.

        1. Shadow12000

          She sees it as that though, that it’s an outlet for her violent nature. It’s not, but it’s what she believes. She does, indeed, need to talk to someone.

        2. begbert2

          I dunno, Amber has at times seemed pretty aware that Amber is the table-flipping side, not Amazi-girl.

          Not going to contest the fact that she needs to talk to someone though. (Obviously.)

        3. John

          It was Amber who stabbed Sal, Amber who assaulted Ethan and Joyce in the cafeteria, Amber who beat the shit out of Blaine. She was wearing Amazi-Girl’s clothes for that last one, but it was still Amber. Check the tags, A-G checked out with the first kick.

          Amazi-Girl’s used violence – two fights with the jocks who attacked Danny, to subdue a purse snatcher, and against Malaya just now. But when she has, it’s been a proportionate response to someone else initiating it, and she’s stopped when it was no longer necessary.

          Amber is the violent one. Amber knows this. That’s why she’s gone to such lengths to confront Sal as Amazi-Girl… she doesn’t want to stab Sal again; she wants a do-over so she can get it right this time.

          Frankly, I think it might be better for everyone if Amber went away and she was Amazi-Girl all the time.

      2. Deanatay

        John’s got it – Amazi-Girl is not Amber’s outlet for aggression – she’s lost her temper a few times as Amber. Amazi-Girl is Amber’s mechanism for suppressing fear.

  34. nothri

    Oh, Amber, it disturbs me that in your mind anything that happened tonight had anything at all to do with underage drinking. Your usually slightly more self-aware than that.

    1. 3oranges

      I suspect it’s just that she said it was justified by underage drinking. She has not motivation to treat Billie the same way, but she doesn’t want to make Amazi-Girl a liar.

  35. Creaks

    Amazigirl is way hotter.

    Something about that burning nigh uncontrollable passion, visceral butt kicking, a laundry list of flaws and a dumpy smelly jump suit with a cape.

  36. toddtr

    Billie is on the paper too, and she had the Amazi-Girl story before Dorothy got those pictures.

    Is Billie going to scoop Dorothy? Or would that count as a win for Billie which would contradict the self destructive path she is currently on

    1. nothri

      I’ll be impressed if she remembers this conversation at all in the morning.

    2. John

      Billie’ll remember it in the morning and go to Daisy and be all, “Hey, I broke the Amazi-Girl story! She rescued me when I was too dru-uh, tired to walk back to my room, and then confessed her identity to me! She’s the shut-in nerd girl who lives down the hall from me, and she’s totally got a blood feud or something with my roommate who I guess is a supervillain.”

      And Daisy will be all, “What did I tell you about putting yourself into all your stories? You’re still drunk, Billie. Go home.”

      1. Shadow12000

        Don’t lie. Daisy will want to know more sexy details.

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        I give you all the +1s.

      3. 3oranges

        “What did I tell you about putting yourself into all your stories? Go home. What do YOU have for me, Dorothy?”

        “Amazi-girl lives next door to me and I think is dating my ex-boyfriend.”

        1. gangler

          Oh man, I can totally imagine a scenario where Daisy expresses a very personal interest in all the juicy details of this only to reveal that journalistic integrity prevents her from printing this sort of gossip once they’re done telling her.

        2. John

          “Your ex-boyfriend? So she’s straight? You’re both fired!”

  37. EvergreenFir

    That Ruth’s room?

  38. Rutee

    Flow, my tears.

    Well done, Willis.

  39. Curi0sity

    Has anyone else noticed what is clearly an “ULTRA CARLA” door-dec in the background of panel 5?

  40. gangler

    Oh wait! I just realized! Amber’s heading over to Sal’s room! Billie rooms with Sal!

    1. Willoughby Chase

      Yes indeedie.

      A three-way?

  41. Greenygal

    I find this incredibly sweet. Despite her completely wrecked emotional state (and physical bruises), not to mention the fact it’s like five in the morning, Amber sees a stranger in need of help and immediately responds. Hopefully her kindness won’t lead to an unnecessary outing, but honestly even if Billie remembers this in the morning it doesn’t look like she’d believe her. Of course, Sal might be more alert…

    (Also, I don’t know if it’s a deliberate parallel, but I’m amused that this is the second time Amber has carried Billie away from Ruth; the last time it was to stop Billie from punching her, and this time it’s because of lovelorn pining at Ruth’s door. )

  42. Crumplepunch

    Guess who’s going to come through Billie’s window.

    1. gercunderscore4

      The Spanish Inquisition?

      1. logic

        Faz.

  43. Willoughby Chase

    Wait, is this turning into the graveyard scene from The Good The Bad and The Ugly?

    1. StClair

      I kind of hope so. That was some great music.

  44. Ridureyu

    I don’t want to beat the “Amber is getting kind of scary” horse, but she almost kicked the tar out of Billie, but then got out of it by talking about herself like some sort of odd, foreign entity.

    1. Yarrr

      You’re right, if she keeps this up she’ll end up with as many issues as Batman.

      Also, Damnit Ruth 🙁 thought you were having second thoughts about the drinking.

      1. Ridureyu

        I have a running theory (based on the Arkham games) that BAtman’s “Detective vision” is programmed to tell him that his victims are alive even after he bludgeons them to death.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      According to tumblr-logic, Amber’s got a serious case of headmates.

    3. goldfish

      I don’t know, I think this is tentatively a good sign. Not the part where Amber briefly considers that underage drinking warrants a beat down (or that she’s lying to herself that that’s what her confrontation with Sal was about), but that she decides that she doesn’t have to be Amazigirl all the time and helps Billy. I mean, separating herself from her alter ego isn’t exactly healthy for her identity, but frankly, Amazigirl is a huge asshole, so whatever, I’m cool with it.

      1. Ridureyu

        It needs to Amber getting help, though. Amazi-Girl needs to not be one of the options. Imitating her dad’s psychotic grin while hyping herself up to attack people has to stop. She needs to step back from the abyss now before she has a complete breakdown.

        1. goldfish

          Oh, definitely. This could be a step in the right direction, though. Or it could further separate her alter ego from herself in Amber’s mind, who knows. Amazigirl needs to be eradicated somehow, and I really wish that Dorothy actually had put Amber’s identity into the newspaper because I feel that would help force her to stop. But at least this comic shows that Amber as Amber is still capable of being a decent individual.

        2. Bill

          Let’s look at this from another perspective, though.  Billie is apparently drunk (and underage), and this isn’t the first time (she had an underage DUI that cost her a cheerleader position).  By any yardstick in the world of alcohol abuse/chemical addiction, this is proof that Billie has a problem that needs to be addressed, not side-stepped — and Amber, by helping Billie to her room, is covering up for Billie to help her avoid any punishment or fallout.  To some people this is a sign of compassion/caring, but in plain terms Amber is being an enabler — doing things that allows someone to continue along their self-destructive path — which can be just as bad if not worse than being a gung-ho Amazi-Girl who makes sure that every offense receives its proper punishment.

        3. What was the question again?

          well no, she’s helping a person in distress operate her standing up faculties; That’s human decency. what’s she’s worried about is whether being decent is better or worse than being consistent.

          Bearing in mind that being consistent in this case would have required amber to beat up billie.

        4. goldfish

          Amber also has no reason to assume that Billie has a drinking problem. Amber has encountered Drunk Billie exactly one other time, at a party where nearly everyone was drinking underage, and she may not even have noticed that Billie had been drinking, considering the events at the time.

        5. Historyman68

          And despite her drunkenness, Billie was being very helpful, with her knowledge of date-rape drugs.

        6. John

          Nah, it would have just required her to try to provoke Billie into taking a swing at her, and any beatdown would come only after Billie threw the first punch.

        7. gwalla

          Actually, true consistency would have required her to try to get into a fight with Billie, fail, scuffle briefly with one of Billie’s unlikeable friends, and be left feeling miserable and empty.

        8. goldfish

          Although now I’m starting to sort of agree with you that this is actually a pretty bad sign for Amber on the Amazigirl front, at least in the long run. Hmm.

    4. Chris

      I’m relieved to see Amber again. Even though it’s still the same person & situation, at least she’s thinking human thoughts. Amazi-Girl’s twisted sense of justice set up a situation where she seemed doomed to failure, leaving Amber much worse off than before.

  45. Robin

    So… Amber takes Billie to her room, and lemme guess, Sal’s going to be there?

    Either way, I’m afraid that this is going to end with “let’s beat up Amber/Amazi-Girl some more”.

  46. Yet_One_More_Idiot

    Consistency? Pfft, that’s for amateurs.

    We demand rigidly-defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!

    1. RobHagen

      And I may or may not be Vroomfondel!

  47. Swerve

    “A foolish consistency is the Sharkticon of little minds, adored by little statesmen, philosophers and divines. With consistency a great spark has simply nothing to do.”

    Truer words were never spoken. That’s why I try to be as inconsistent as possible. You will never catch me pulling the same prank twice. Usually because they backfired in spectacular ways. 😉

  48. SilverArrowArtemis

    It’s cookies Hell all the way down from here. Wait until she realizes Sal is Billie’s roommate.

    ====Popcorn Get!====

  49. Kifre

    Amazi-Girl can go ahead and be inconsistent if it means she finally realized her previous response was batsh*t and inappropriate as hell.

    I guess there’s nothing like happening upon an insensibly drunk minor to drive home how beating up underage drinkers actually compounds the world’s problems rather than lessening them…

  50. Charles Phipps

    Amber just doesn’t understand being a superhero. She is a hero, therefore she is good. Dot is opposing her, so therefore she is evil. Evil people should be killed. Volia!

    Yes, I am Handsome Jack from Borderlands.

  51. Philip Marlowe

    You know, it seems odd to me that Amber’s assuming Dorothy’s going to go straight to the paper, and not only that, but that the paper is going to print this tomorrow. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that Dorothy’s story will be denied as more hogwash like what Billie was spouting, leaving Amber safe (in a manner of speaking).

    1. Deanatay

      Amber doesn’t really know Dorothy, except that she’s Danny’s ex. And that she’s doggedly pursuing any and all information she can get on Amazi-Girl. She feels like a fox gone to ground, and she sees the hound’s muzzle sticking into her burrow.

      Why would Dorothy not publish? Dorothy owes Amber nothing. This would be a career-making story for her, one that would hold the headlines of a college newspaper for weeks, and draw readers like crazy. Every reporter the newspaper has would be breaking down Amber’s door, demanding interviews, poking into every intimate detail of her life, deconstructing her on the front page for the entertainment of the masses. Heck, real papers would probably pick this story up. I repeat: this would MAKE DOROTHY’S CAREER, the one thing she cares about above all else. Why wouldn’t she publish it?

      Well, a small thing called ‘human decency’. But, most people aren’t decent (esp in Amber’s admittedly twisted view). They’re nice, and polite, but that’s not the same thing. You have to know someone pretty well to know if they’re decent. And Amber doesn’t know Dorothy well.

      1. JWLM

        Hold on, here. Dorothy has a job to do — like Willis said, the IDS pays money — as well as a moral responsibility to disclose information — the IDS is not just a comics provider. Amber is doing nothing more than recognizing those things.

  52. Gigafreak

    As all-but-confirmed by the discarded versions of the last few pages, Amber hasn’t really been treating Sal as a person, instead picturing her as a Sal-shaped bullseye painted over Amber’s own trauma. I wonder… if Sal ever found out that Amber is the terrified girl who stabbed her hand, how would she react? Would she give an apology? Request an apology? Both? Or maybe lash out without Marcie to keep her calm?

    …Still, it might do Amber some good to be forced to confront Sal in non-Amazi form rather than fleeing (or fighting) like so many times in the past. So that she can see Sal’s relative lack of malevolence, and think of her as a person and peer for the first time.

    But since this is Dumbing of Age and teenagers make bad decisions all the time, it’s rather likely that Amber would still flee.

    …If Billie has so much booze stashed unsubtly around, Sal didn’t have to go to Walmart after all…

    1. John

      A big part of Amber’s problem is that she doesn’t believe that Amber can face Sal, so she thinks she has to do it as Amazi-Girl, who is stronger and more controlled. So when Amber runs into Sal, she runs away in fear of Sal or of herself, turns into Amazi-Girl, and comes back. This whole evening’s excursion has been because Amber thinks that Dorothy is about to take Amazi-Girl away, and so she has to confront Sal now.

      Maybe having actually done that, and having Sal avoid violence even when sorely provoked (goddammit Malaya), she’ll start to figure out that maybe Sal isn’t the terror that Amber thinks she is and be able to deal with her on a rational level. Or… she’s been blurring the lines between Amber and Amazi-Girl a lot lately, switching back and forth between her selves without relying on the physical trappings of mask and cape to distinguish. Maybe she’ll figure out that Amber always has Amazi-Girl and her strength and control there on tap when she needs it.

      You think Sal’s going to try to take Billie’s booze? Sounds to me like a good way to get stabbed in the hand again.

    2. Sam

      I think Sal would be more understanding about it than other people honestly.

      Confronting her head on likely would be good for Amber because then she’d be able to see that Sal is not a monster, but a human being who had her own issues.

    3. Ridureyu

      Where can we find the discarded versions of these pages?

      1. John

        On Willis’s Tumblr.

        That first one in particular I’m taking as confirmation that my theories about Amber/Amazi-Girl’s motivations and intentions here are basically correct.

  53. stainedglassdeity

    *churns butter very slowly*

    1. arank11

      Your Gravatar made that statement 100x more hilarious

  54. Tenn

    Oh, the coinkydinks!

  55. -Sentinel-

    Previously, the only time Billie and Amber have met was when Billie came out of Danny’s room in circumstances that led Amber to think she’d just had sex with Danny.

    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/02-choosing-my-religion/notsure/

    No idea if this is significant here; I just try to keep track of who knows who. Are there any major characters who’ve never interated yet?

    1. -Sentinel-

      Oh wait, Amber as Amazi-Girl once rescued Billie from Ruth.

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/04-the-bechdel-test/nerds/

      1. John

        Billie and Amazi-Girl also met at the party after Joyce glassed Ryan. They’ve crossed paths briefly a few other times, too.

        And it depends who you count as “major”, I think. Of the people on the cast page… Sal and Joe have never been in a strip together. Jacob has never been in a strip with Billie, Ruth, Sal, or Mike, and has been in the same strip as Amber and Dina, but didn’t interact with them. Sarah and Mike, and Dina and Joe have likewise been in the same strip but have never actually interacted. Carla hasn’t appeared with anyone else on the cast page besides Sal and Amber.

        Sal/Joe is the highest profile pair that have never met, and Sal’s on the bottom end of what I’d call “major” characters, while I think it’s debatable whether Joe is a major character at all. He’s had more appearances than Sal, but I think that’s in large part just because he sits in Gender Studies with Joyce and Dorothy three hours a week. Sal’s involved in several plotlines, including one all her own that no other major character is part of, which Joe can’t say.

        1. -Sentinel-

          “Billie and Amazi-Girl also met at the party after Joyce glassed Ryan. They’ve crossed paths briefly a few other times, too.”

          By “meeting”, I mean actually interacting, not just being in the same strip.

  56. Sarah

    I was fine with this until I remembered who Billie’s roommate is…Then I spend five minutes screaming OH SHIT into my pillow

  57. Hoboturtle

    Her secret identity is going to be a worst kept secret then it is in Shortpacked at this rate.

  58. Crumplepunch

    And then Malaya died from internal bleeding.

    Nobody felt bad or mentioned her again.

    1. 3oranges

      I would hope not, you can’t send off a character that way. That’s what lion pits are for.

  59. Jimbo

    not gonna lie, this is a friendship i wanna see blossom!

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