208

Convince
Posted on January 24, 2024 by David M Willis

208 thoughts on “Convince”

  1. Bruno

    The posts. Too real.

    1. Decidedly Orthogonal

      Indeed. But Malaya is absolutely the wrong avatar for that comment. ?

      1. Mturtle7

        AU where Malaya is physically capable of feeling the emotion of shame

        1. Clif

          Well, first she’d have to do something to be ashamed of.

  2. Red

    Oh sweet fool

    1. Bryy

      Yeah.

      He’s trying so hard, but he knows that his relationship with his parents is done.

      1. sakamism

        I think it’s a bit hasty to say it’s completely with both of them after one thirty-second argument. Especially with Charles, who seemed to take his wife’s side by default more than anything else. His relationship with *Linda* may never be the same, but like…that’s fine, actually. She sucks.

        1. Coatl

          And don’t forget that expression she showed yesterday, that was not the expression of an upset mother, that was an expression of genuine hatred, I even dare to say that she no longer saw her son, she only saw someone she wants to make pay. cruelly for provoking her.

        2. TrueVCU

          I dunno, moms get MEGA PISSED at their kids from time to time, and we all know Linda’s ability to rationalize Walky’s (her good LIGHTER son) behavior is legendary.

        3. Coatl

          We have to wait to see how Linda carries out her counterattack.

        4. Dara

          Liiiiiiiiiiiiiinda knows the dean. (ha HAAAAA – biblically!)

          She knows who monkeyed with Walky’s grades

          AND

          already hates her

          AND

          she knows Walky cares for her, even if not romantically.

          ohhhhh geeeeee

        5. Coatl

          Canon, completely canon!!!

        6. Imogen

          She’s not gonna let Walky get kicked out, is the thing. That embarrassment isn’t acceptable to the Linda we know.

        7. Schpoonman

          Right, which is why she’s going to paint it (ironically correctly) as Amber changing his grades without Walky’s knowledge or consent, making him a victim (while still profiting from the grade change) and leaving Amber to be punished.

        8. Needfuldoer

          oh no

          oh no

        9. Decidedly Orthogonal

          Knowing something and being able to prove it are two different things. But yeah, the decade of evil moms is certainly in full swing. ?

        10. tunasammich

          Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan this is logical but…I hope the story doesn’t go in this direction it’ll be a stressful storyline haha

        11. Allen Alberti

          If Linda gets Amber expelled, I will personally find a way to Cool World her out of Webcomicland and lock her in an actual dungeon.

        12. Archieve

          Thing about her past treatment of walky, as Jennifer points out he never infact was the golden child but the second favorite who never did anything his parents didn’t like before. It’s been Jennifer’s behaviour that the parents ( mostly Linda) rationalize not their son. Linda is shown this week to not in fact give her son leeway for minor issues like his grades so in less hopeful his parents will will his words serious consideration.

        13. Needfuldoer

          But she is willing to overlook drunk driving at prom, because “prom is for making mistakes”.

          https://www.dumbingofage.com/taughthimself/

          Linda won gold in mental gymnastics.

        14. Miri

          She is willing to overlook Jennifer drunk-driving at prom, and rationalise it away for her, because Jennifer is the golden child. Walky might have been in therapy for it; Sal in a non-voluntary psychiatric hold for intensive treatment (possibly including ECT type stuff… Wrong century for a lobotomy to make her easier to manage but right parent attitude… https://people.com/politics/untold-story-of-rosemary-kennedy-and-her-disastrous-lobotomy/ NB, her father did this without discussing/informing his wife beforehand… ?).

          Walky would have been held on a tight leash because clearly he couldn’t cope with increasing freedoms. Sal would have been sent further away.

        15. Bryy

          Yeah. As someone who has been on the receiving end of that stare (for altogether different reasons), they will still love you.

          But that love is now conditional.

        16. Wilddeath

          From my experience all parental love is conditional and vanishes the moment you do something they do not like or that makes them look bad. You need to tip toe around parents like landmines that actively hate your existence and are looking for an excuse to explode. Cause that’s all parents are.

        17. Ro

          I’m really sorry that’s been your experience. That isn’t a healthy or normal way for parents to be, you deserve and child you deserved real love

        18. Archieve

          If parental love or any love is taken away that easily is not love at all.

        19. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

          That kind of might make him worse than she is. Maintains that pretense of character while always supporting whatever she felt of justified…Only arguing with her when they were alone and over something that would lead her into getting in her own way should anyone who both cares and has credibility…

          Charles might not be an outright Karen like his wife, but given he’s only a better person than her when it’s convenient for him…And her wing man the rest of the time…Well, that’s telling.

        20. Needfuldoer

          The “good cop” is still a cop.

        21. Decidedly Orthogonal

          And if we’re sitting at a table with nien others, there’s ten of them sitting at the table.

  3. Lucretiel

    Facebook memories really are a blessing and a curse

    1. Needfuldoer

      Joyce found that out a few chapters ago.

  4. Poskie

    The persistent war against past versions of oneself is an unfortunately familiar feeling.

    1. Regalli

      Indeed.

    2. Doctor_Who

      Extremely. Luckily I only see them on anniversaries.

      1. clif

        +1 Internets

      2. Mturtle7

        *rimshot*

    3. True Survivor

      I think some incidents of past me had some very important skills and qualities I have come to lack, even as I have improved in other areas (and acquired more knowledge, some of which I shall arrogantly call wisdom). I keep feeling like I am constantly trying to stich together some horrible perfect Frankenstein version of myself by merging the two and it is not going well so far.

      PS. Sorry about accidently hitting the report comment button on you.

      1. Songbird

        This sentiment is a little more relatable than I’d like to admit, considering there are aspects of past me’s personality that I really do miss and wish I still had, even if other parts of me have improved since then.

    4. Amelie Wikström

      Better to think you used to be an idiot than looking back and thinking the best in you has already passed out of existence. It means you’re still learning and improving.

      Nothing worse than peaking in high school. Except maybe looking at something you wrote ten years ago and realizing you have not changed at all.

      1. Mark

        +1

  5. newlland(Henryvolt)

    Yeah it might be a bit of a slow burn.

    But If Linda has any ability of noticing a change of patterns she be able to see that the child she used to butting heads with doesn’t even think she’s worth the effort of talking too anymore let alone arguing with and other one who’s used to being spineless just confronted them.

    1. Archieve

      Unfortunately, I can see her just blaming Sal as a bad influence on Walky since he never got these ideas until they were reintroduced.

  6. Icalasari

    Your birthday card will be removing you from college for it giving you “woke” ideas

    Seriously, I can see Linda blaming the college for Walky being like this now

    1. Regalli

      Nah, that’s Carol’s schtick. Linda’s woke! She voted for Obama! She liked Walky’s atheist girlfriend! She supports gay people, in the abstract, I’m reasonably sure! (If it wasn’t clear that should be sarcasm, but I DO think Linda’s the kind of person who thinks of herself as “vaguely liberal” even as her actions bely a TON of unexamined biases, if only because that gives better contrast with the fundamentalist bad parents.)

      I think she’s going to ignore/“charitably overlook” this visit as an outlier (for now) and then coincidentally inform him he’s taking premed courses next semester. (And to some extent it will genuinely be coincidental since she’d have to start pushing at some point, but it will not feel that way.) And THEN when he protests, the threat of pulling him out/refusing to pay tuition comes out, probably with a side order of bringing back this conversation and any other ammunition she has at that point.

  7. Nono

    Wonder if the Walkertons were born in Easter.

    1. RassilonTDavros

      Pretty sure Walky and Sal’s canonical birthday is April 1, but whether or not April 1 happened to be Easter in the year of their birth would have to fluctuate based on the sliding timescale.

      1. Johnny Posadas

        Man that’s sliding timescale and a lunar calendar, thats so hard to figure out

      2. Tan

        The two most recent times that April 1 has been Easter were 1956 and 2018. We will therefore have to wait until 2036/2037 for Sal and Walky to have been born on Easter.

        (the next time it will be Easter will be 2029)

    2. Taffy

      Nah, they’re from Evansville. It’d be a little unusual for them to have been born in coastal England, or at least remarkable enough we’d have been told by now.

  8. True Survivor

    So very wise, yet so avaricious. Never change Walky.

  9. Viktoria

    Props to Walky for setting realistic goals. I like that he recognizes that he won’t get anywhere fast, but it’s still worth taking one step.

    1. Coatl

      He just won the first round of this fight, I still have my doubts about him, but he did well

    2. Archieve

      Unfortunately I think he’s going to have to lower his expectations from a few months to a few years st best regarding his parents actually acknowledgeding racism.

      1. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

        Struck me as less about his parents acknowledging jack shit and more about him acknowledging Sal was right about them and it’s going to cost him meaningful things down the line if he doesn’t see them for who they are and try his best not to turn into a willing toad squeezer like his dad.

        Also, Linda strikes me as less of a racist and more of a morbid elitist *AND*…Somehow…A wannabe elitist at the same time. Charles, well, it may be about self-hatred related to what it was like growing up in old money possibly as a bastard whom resulted from Mom or Dad “sowing their wild oats” and grew up a pleaser. Sal and David may have not even met the rest of the family on either side, for all we know…

        1. cain

          What is a toad squeezer? Googled but couldn’t find context

        2. Pergola

          It’s when you want the toad juice but don’t want to get your hands messy.

          “Here, squeeze this toad.”

        3. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

          Google “toady.” Toad squeezer is where the idiom ‘toady’ came from.

        4. zee

          Racism and elitism tend to go hand in hand

        5. BBCC

          Sal and Walky grew up knowing at least one grandma. The Walkertons haven’t, at least at that time, been cut off.

        6. Archieve

          Linda is a racist first elitist close second I woukd say, though the seconds often used to hide the first. I suspet linda has an upper middle class background, grew up with the expectation she would join the elits as an adult and is bitter that hasn’t really happened no matter how much she tries to claim Jennifer for a daughter.

        7. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

          I was imagining both Linda and Charles growing up with silver spoons in their mouths. Linda’s rather….Unorthodox approach to parenting could be based on a “That’s how I was raised and I turned out just FINE!” principle.

          She also seemed to the more focused on being able to rub elbows with big-shots than just making a fortune. Linda’s ex-husband’s a Dean at Indiana University? Keep in touch! That means we know a somebody!

          A surrogate motherhood that now that I think about it, probably was all about raising Jennifer in her parents’ place, because for her to carry and birth her with David and Sal being her age, well, shooting for carrying a third baby from a completely different couple when you are already pregnant with twins? Is that even doable? Either way, that links then to the governor of their state and all his money, power, and blue-bloodedness (in Linda’s mind, at least)

          Then comes the christian TV show that both David and Sal were supposed to be actors in. Casting crew guy said Walky is what they’re looking for but not Sal. Figuring they never had anything to do with church or the like after that TV show went nowhere, Lin & Chuckie probably had high hopes.

          I’ve gotten hints that the Walkerton Family (Charle’s parents and grandparents, probably) might be big donors to Indiana University, and recall allusions of Linda’s big ventures but not what their day jobs are/were….

        8. Uly

          Then comes the christian TV show that both David and Sal were supposed to be actors in. Casting crew guy said Walky is what they’re looking for but not Sal. Figuring they never had anything to do with church or the like after that TV show went nowhere, Lin & Chuckie probably had high hopes.

          According to Walky’s flashback, the casting guy said they only needed one child, and Linda not-so-arbitrarily picked him over his sister.

        9. Archieve

          I think since Linda hasn’t been as sucessful in life as she wanted she puts everything into connections to feel influenceal. Pretty sure the only reason she sent both kids to that university was so she could look impressive calling in favors with her ex. I suspect when walky first befriended Jennifer Linda did everything she could do to get Jennifer at their place hoping she would eventually marry walky though if so that kind of backfired since Walky now sees her as a sibling. I figure the tv shows whee to try to get famous kids since Linda never made all the important connectionsshe wanted. If I recall it was Linda who picked walky over Sal for the Christian show because they only had a role for one and the guy didn’t care which twin. Once walkys tv careers went nowhere Linda put all her hope into raising a genius which is why she’s so furious that her son doesn’t have perfect grades.

  10. CrazyJ

    I was born through Caesarean section because my brother was born that way before me meaning all future births had to be, and the doctor scheduled it for April fools. At which point my mom threw a fit and said there was no way she was going to give birth on April 1st, so they rescheduled for the 2nd.

    1. elebenty

      She fought for you!

    2. Leorale

      I’m 8mo pregnant, and may have to get induced (for reasons). The exact date is way less important that any other priority for this one, but still, I confess a little disappointment that he won’t come a lil late, that we won’t have a Leap Year Baby of Feb 29.

      1. StClair

        At least he probably won’t end up mistakenly apprenticed to a pirate.

        1. Clif

          It will be on purpose?

        2. Leorale

          Definitely, til his 21st birthday. Gotta raise this kid right.

  11. Aura

    See also: Walky’s Twitter account
    (And I’d add a link too if it weren’t for that meddling Elon!)

    1. Marianne

      Isn’t that technically called an X-cretion now? “Hey look, Walky X-creted!”

      1. morleuca

        I refuse to acknowledge accept twitters name change until Elon acknowledges and accepts Jenna.

        1. DashWallkick

          I simply refuse to acknowledge the name change. It’s something you simply can’t do, that’s the name you were born with, it’s who you are, and there’s nothing that changes that, not even science!

          Ergo – it will be Twitter to me forever.

        2. Mark

          Yup. Like the Sears Tower.

  12. Dara

    How far is April our time? Six years?

    1. HueSatLight

      If no timeskips, and no major flashbacks, around 16 to 22 years.

      1. Bryy

        ….. it’s actually going to be that long, isn’t it?

      2. Dara

        Oh, okay, so Walky basically has 16 to 22 years to solve everything? Easy peasy! Wow, that’s a relief. xD

  13. Nono

    I mean it takes about 7 years to replace all the cells in your body, right?

    Maybe Walky will see them again when he’s 25-26.

    1. eh, whatever

      That’s an average. Many cells are never replaced.

    2. PiIkScientist

      Somehow it took this exact comment to make me realize I’ve fully eclipsed these characters in age since I started reading. They’re now younger than me the same amount they were older than me then. In a year I’ll be the age Walky could be in 7 years. Thank you for the reminder of time. I blame and damn Willis.

  14. sdrainbow

    while acknowledging this is a “last comic punchline that’s maybe not actually reality”, it’s big walky energy that his most anguished expression is the one where he realizes he might suffer a consequence

    1. PedanticJerkass

      Well, it was either that, or he’d just recalled a particularly bad old Internet post.

    2. Archieve

      That’s the problem with parents like Linda, their kids words bounce right off them, meanwhile Linda’s lat words about “saying something he will regret” is starting to sound like a threat in his mind.

  15. Coatl

    Well, what’s done is done, he knows what he did, he knows there will be retaliation, now we just have to wait and see what he will say to Sal about this.

    1. Bryy

      God, that’s right.

      Jennifer, please don’t make this about yourself.

      1. Coatl

        Let’s hope not, look what she almost did with Dorothy and now with this boy

      2. Archieve

        It will be interesting to see Jennifer ls reaction, on one hand she like to see herself as the problem solver who is “at the top of her game” on the other she seems to still enjoy the illusion of parental love the Walkersons offer and might not like the idea of having to choose a side.

        1. Archieve

          Especially since she’s just excepted racism as an unspoken part of their personalities I get the impression she was expecting to help without direct confrontation.

  16. Hazel

    I read some old(ish) internet posts of mine and they seem pretty sensible. I vaguely remember some much older posts that were…not. Walky’s young enough that he’s still changing pretty quickly.

    1. Coatl

      Well, keep in mind that no character here is perfect, yes, some have committed to change, but it is obvious that we cannot take for granted that some progress is really significant, heh, there is a reason the title of this comic is in capital letters

      1. Mr D phone posting

        In the words of the grand philosopher of our time, Noonan:
        ”
        I don’t trust a man that doesn’t have something strange going on about him, ’cause it means he’s hiding it from you. If a man’s wearing his pants on his head or if he says his words backwards from time to time, you know it’s all laid out there for you. But if he’s friendly to strangers and keeps his home spick-and-span, more often than not he’s done something even his own ma couldn’t forgive.”

    2. Yumi

      Some posts of mine I look back on like, “Hey, that was pretty solid,” and some I look back on like, “Oh god, I need to remember what email I used with this account so I can delete it all.”

  17. Joe Moose

    How funny of him to assume he’ll get a birthday card after this.

  18. Marvelman

    It’s still January in the DOA universe, right?

    1. HueSatLight

      23rd or 24th, depending on background information.

  19. Cmasta1992

    Ah a fellow Aries. One of us! One of us!

  20. Rocketboy1313

    A big issue with older generations is they think “racism” is just a synonym for “bad behavior” and since they do not see themselves as “bad people” they therefore can’t be doing “bad behavior” and therefore they are not racist.

    This is of course wrong. People who are otherwise good can be racist in ways too subtle for them to notice with self reflection and a critical eye on their past behavior and motivations. Unwilling to explore their past deeds with such a critical eye, often out of a fear of breaking their self image, they will consistently double down on the idea of, “I am a good person and good people are not racist, ergo I am not racist.” Which to reiterate: is wrong.

    1. Coatl

      It seems they are not aware that they are human

    2. thejeff

      This is not merely a problem with older generations. This is a problem with people.

      It’s more obvious with older generations, since what’s socially acceptable changes over time, but it can be seen everywhere.

    3. James

      Someone on here phrased it as something like “no racists except klansmen,” ie only understanding racism as the most overt, blatantly hostile things vs the reality of hundreds of tiny unexamined behaviors and societal advantages or roadblocks.

  21. Laura

    …Anyone up for a game?

    How’s this:

    What would you like to do on your birthday? (Speaking of Walky’s birthday.)

    1. Laura

      I can go:

      -I would really like to visit the wildlife sanctuary. Just for a walk.

    2. NGPZ

      Eat pizza, take edibles and chill. ? ? ?

      1. Laura

        Yum! :-9

        I made a pizza omelette the other day: egg whites spread out over a cast-iron fry pan with avocado oil, two eggs cracked on top, a layer of cheese, then a layer of spinach, then a layer of tomato paste, then italian spices and onions and garlic on top.
        DEE-LICORISH!

        1. Laura

          Oh, I forgot: on a flour tortilla

        2. NGPZ

          Wow that does sound delicious! ?

          (also makes me hungry for Taco Bell’s mexican pizzas LOL)

    3. BBCC

      Game of Thrones themed party! I love running game of thrones D&D games so it seems appropriate.

      1. Laura

        How fun! I love theme parties — with games and costumes!

        1. BBCC

          Theme parties are the best!

    4. Dara

      You mean other than Donald Trump convicted and in prison?

      Well, realistically, a linear rail kit for my (already heavily customised) 3D printer, or better yet, some kind of towed cargo carrier for my eBike. I keep looking for a used/damaged/out-of-date baby carrier that I can retrofit but haven’t had any luck with that, and I’ve already built as much on-frame cargo as I legitimately can.

      In category “we can’t afford this (but it’s not insane to think of them as gifts)” in order of cost: a new graphics card OR a multifilament 3D printer OR a full-on cargo eBike 😀

      1. Laura

        Oh, yeah, well, the first wish is one we ALL share!

        Those other wishes sound real cool, too. Good luck making them come true in the ways that work for you!

        My late partner was big on retrofitting baby carriers and building cargo bikes. It was his passion. …Thank you for that sweet bit of nostalgia.

    5. Taffy

      Some kind of incredibly intense psychedelic drug, maybe? Idk, I wanna see some weird shit before I die.

      1. Laura

        Rock on!

        1. Taffy

          What’s the worst that could happen, right? Nobody’s losing much in any outcome.

    6. morleuca

      Go swimming

      1. Laura

        Delightful! I haven’t swum in so long. Good luck!

        I’d love to swim in a heated saltwater pool. Soothe these achy joints…

  22. DailyBrad

    Honestly, he’s maybe being overly optimistic, but I think less so than people might expect. At the very least, he’s looking at it the way he needs to in order to keep any kind of relationship with his parents.

    1. Coatl

      He is seeing the results of what he did and it is obvious that the consequences are inevitable, the fifth panel makes it very clear.

      Which means that now if or if he should set a clear objective, let’s hope that Sal can help, I mean, it’s the only option he really has.

  23. Yotomoe

    Yeah I feel the same way, Walky. I wanna hope people eventually come around and be like “Yeah I was being a dick, sorry.” But that’s cuz I’m always analyzing myself and being like “Yeah I was being a dick” at all times every day.

    1. Bash

      It sounds like this is played up for humor, but I doubt you were being a dick as much as you think. You seem like a very compassionate and well-meaning person in your comments. Maybe you said something a little awkward, but everyone does that.

    2. Mturtle7

      I’ve always had the tendency to assume that everyone around me is trying their best, so I shouldn’t judge them. Lately, a dear friend of mine has made a lot of progress in convincing me that I REALLY, REALLY, need to extend that same courtesy to myself! It’s a pretty damn good feeling when I do that. 10/10, would recommend.
      Now I just need to work on the next step of actually having the strength to judge people who are genuinely being a**holes, like Linda. It’s tricky.

  24. BBCC

    I hope for your sake that that works out for you, Walky.

    1. Coatl

      Yes, many have been satisfied with what Walky did (myself included), but we are talking about WALKY, so it is really important that he really learns to know how to measure his words.

      1. Archieve

        I thinks it would be better if Walky thinks of this as investing in relationship repair with his sister and not fixing his parents. He doesn’t seem to fully comprehend that they don’t really respect him and without respect it’s not realistic for his parents to take his words seriously.

  25. JessWitt

    Christmas card money is a more realistic prospect at this point.

    Still I can imagine Charles sending a birthday check and a note to keep it a secret from his wife.

  26. Francoinblanco

    When I think about it, I don’t know if it was played well. apart from the validity of the accusations, at the end of the visit there should not be a discussion at the door saying “btw you’re a racist.” without a calm discussion, mental shortcuts will arise. There are already comments above predicting how Linda will interpret this conversation

    1. Bash

      Walky was never going to do it perfectly. I think the main question is whether this is beter than saying nothing.

      1. DashWallkick

        Yeah, as Sal has said before – “Bro tries, but he’s not very good at being supportive.” that he did it at all is a huge win.

    2. Chubsius

      I’m not sure a calm discussion was ever possible. Linda flipped out at Sal just for showing up alone. She shouts at her children in the middle of restaurants. I don’t think there’s a world where they could sit Linda down and have a calm, rational discussion about this. I do think the twins did a good job of saying what they needed to say without being dragged into fight over it. I think their only hope in the long run is repetition and unity so they can confront Linda from multiple angles and drill their points home.

      1. Archieve

        Yeah I think given what’s already been said their best option is calm acknowledgemt without escalation into screaming matches so that Linda doesn’t get to feel validated by their “irrationality” and feel justified in retaliation as others fear now.

        1. Leorale

          Also, as Walky acknowledged here, it was hopeless to convince her. He wasn’t saying it to convince her. He said it mainly so that he’d know he didn’t stand silent.

    3. James

      Putting it on the victims and people without power to approach this kind of thing perfectly is certainly a take of some kind of temperature.

  27. Thomas

    He is an April fool.
    Deluded about Daddy Tool.
    He is crazy about his mommy & daddy.
    Oh, he believes in them.
    He is an April fool.
    Daddy, Daddy Tool.

    1. Thomas

      She had no heart at all.
      No no no heart at all.
      She was the meanest cat.
      For she was really tough.
      She left her husband flat.
      He wasn’t though enough.

      Ma ma ma ma, Ma Walker.
      She never could cry.

      1. Thomas

        Ma ma ma ma, Ma Walker.
        But she knew how to lie…

  28. Archieve

    Oh Walky, your parents still haven’t come to an epithany about how they treated a child trying to raise money for their disabled friend five years ago. it’s going to take longer then a few months, if at all.

    1. Mturtle7

      Let the boy dream! He just completely exhausted the underdeveloped “realistic and sensible” portion of his brain by having this conversation with Linda at all; he deserves to briefly indulge in little illusions like these.

  29. Wendy

    Panels 2 and 6 have some really nice angles of Walky’s face that I don’t recall Willis drawing that often.

    That aside, Walky’s train of thought here is interesting to me. I’ve seen quite a few people say things along the lines of what he’s describing: “Sure, I USED to be a little racist, but I’m DEFINITELY NOT anymore!”

    I think a lot of such people tend not to realize that self-reflection has to be like, an ongoing thing. And that condemning your past self just to shield your present self from scrutiny means you don’t want to actually BE a better person, you just want to get credit for being better than you actually are.

    Anyway, I guess time will tell as to whether Walky’s parents will ever even progress to that level in the first place.

    1. DashWallkick

      Self-reflection is definitely a thing, but it’s hard to cope with embarrassment and shame of who you used to be at any age. This is why the old memetic of your brain being a prick and throwing a memory of you embarrassing yourself exists. You’re walking along, having a good day, then suddenly — hey, remember when you were hitting it off with that girl and you said THIS? Well guess what! And now your whole body is cringing and you want to die and you’re trying to think of song lyrics and your favorite movie to try and overwrite your memory storage.

      1. StClair

        Mine works in both directions. I’m often embarrassed by ignorant things I have said and thought in the past, and quite certain I will do so in the future as well.

    2. NGPZ

      “Sure, I USED to be a little racist, but I’m DEFINITELY NOT anymore!”

      Yuuup definitely part of the racism denialist step-ladder, people who talk like this don’t see themselves as flawed individuals with a long way still to go — they see themselves as having already arrived at the destination everyone else needs to get to, mistaking their privilege as living proof that the systemic racism is that which can easily and painlessly be opted out of. (-_-)

  30. HueSatLight

    I like the head pose and hands in panel 2. Makes what would be a repetitive strip dynamic.

  31. AbacusWizard

    Dumbing of Age, Book 17: Shuttin’ Down in Shame after Readin’ My Old Internet Posts

  32. Thrair

    One thing I’ll toss out into the wind. Linda’s a racist and rather self-centered… but not a monster. Don’t equate her with someone like Blaine for a hit of righteous rage.

    I have family who firmly believe anyone who provides an abortion is a murderer and earnestly believe women need protection from being providing them… rather than it being a woman having some basic bodily autonomy.

    I have a 2nd cousin who is otherwise very progressive and tolerant of faith/creed/sexuality, but came back from Iraq deeply bigoted towards Muslims.

    I have an Uncle who believes vaccines are dangerous and cause autism, but flu shots are safe because we’ve used them for so long.

    Everyone is flawed. Some very deeply. You can think in absolutes if you wish and draw hard lines in the sand for every issue, writing people off entirely if they fail even one…. but I for one don’t have it in me to live and die alone.

    People often have inexcusable beliefs or flaws. But that means only that we should not EXCUSE them for their flaws – We should, after all, call them on their bullshit.

    But there are very few things that are sufficient on their own to make someone a monster. To damn them as irredeemable and write off any good they may have.

    It’s a good idea to pick one’s battles. And I for one have a weary mistrust of crusaders.

    1. Imogen

      I don’t wholly disagree, but I’m also a little skeptical about this comic’s interest in messy, nuanced villains lately. I think it’s Oops! All Blaines.

      1. HueSatLight

        I think the commentariat decides every character with flaws is worse than Blaine. I don’t see them presented that way in the comic.

        1. Taffy

          At this point, I’m not even sure any actual commenters are truthfully painting the characters as villains, or being certain ways about certain characters. I think people are just making up guys to argue against and nebulously claiming it’s being talked about by somebody else.

          None of you can sue me for saying this, because I’m not calling out anyone specific, it’s satire, it’s just my opinion, it’s not legally actionable, it’s a social experiment, it’s a prank, it was for a bit.

        2. HueSatLight

          was going to mention a specific from today’s commentary, but didn’t want to stir shit that much.

        3. Bryy

          For me, personally, this is how I rank the Villains (updated for being alive):

          1) Ryan(?): Tried to rape Joyce, tried to kill Dorothy and Amber
          2) Mary: Knowingly tried to push gay and trans students to suicide (I know, I know, I did say earlier that she was harmless)
          3) Carol: Is perfectly okay with people dying if it protects her church
          4) Linda: Racist, hates her own child, trying to kick an abused kid out of school
          5) Cliff: Gaslighting Ruth about her own emotions towards her parents
          VERY DISTANT 6) Raidah: Trying to destroy Joyce and Sarah because she views them as lesser

        4. NGPZ

          Yeah that checks out.

          Don’t forget that Linda also stole money that would have gone to Marcie’s surgery.

        5. HueSatLight

          I want to amend this. There are some characters a lot of people love to hate, and they’re treated that way. But there’s at least one character who has done very villainous things, and a lot of people love to love that character because they also have some positive and endearing qualities, so the villainous things are spoke of as good.
          So not every character with flaws.

      2. DashWallkick

        That’s your ability to parse fiction working. You see someone depicted to be a dick, and you go, oh they’re terrible, they’re such a villain, and they get categorized in your brain as such. Meanwhile most of the cast have been colossal pricks one time or another but they get the “oh well they’re struggling and have a rough upbringing” because they’re the ones we like.

        Linda absolutely has reasons why she is the way she is and she’s an asshole and her stubbornness makes her an *antagonist* but she’s nowhere near the level of Blaine or even Joyce’s mom. Controlling, abusive, self-absorbed parents come in gradients.

    2. Chubsius

      I get where you’re coming from, though I think you’re underselling what Sal went through at home, and what she when through from being sent away and isolated. I don’t think anyone’s comparing her to Blaine, but try this one on for size: Linda’s desire to control her children is not that dissimilar from Toedad’s desire to reclaim Becky. Different methods and beliefs, but the desire for absolute control is the same. I genuinely fear what Linda’s revenge might be. She could do so much worse than cut off Walky’s funding. She could target Lucy or Amber. She could get Walky and Amber expelled over the grades hacking. She could use threats of these things to extort Walky into doing what she wants. Like Sal’s motorcycle, Linda banks stuff for future ammunition.

    3. Amelie Wikström

      As Aryndathi Roy puts it, the choice is to reach out to each other in imperfect solidarity or isolate ourselves in bunkers of unsurpassed ideological righteousness.

      But that only works with people who want solidarity. You’re talking about people who think human rights aren’t for everyone, who want different rules for Us and Them. Maybe we can hope your family never decides you’re one of Them, but really, it sounds like you’re only safe as long as you don’t try too hard to hold these people accountable for the things they say and do.

      Me, I have exactly two people in my life who tolerate me being unemployable, autistic and transgender. I’ve been alone maybe 99.5% of the time since 2004 and it’s not because I want to, but I can tell you I like it better than having my friend drag me to all night white supremacist music appreciation parties.

      See, I used to have a friend, but after I tried to talk to him about his hate for immigrants twice over fifteen years he cut me out of his life and it turns out I’m better off. You’ve got several people to try this with; I recommend at least one. See how much it changes things for you.

      1. eh, whatever

        Arundhati

        1. Amelie Wikström

          That’s right, thanks.

      2. Thrair

        Well… you’ve had a very hard life, from the sounds of it. One I can’t truly relate to, I fear. Not enough shared background/experiences. I’m on the spectrum, but that’s it.

        But at the risk of presuming, I’d say you’re very resilient and remain an idealist. Admirable traits, but you may be projecting them somewhat – especially the resilience – with how casually you’re suggesting cutting ties with people.

        I tried what you’ve suggested when I was younger and less cynical. It was isolating in a way that nearly broke me. Came a lot closer to doing something I wouldn’t be around to undo than I’d care to admit.

        I managed to claw my way back from that point, am much happier for it. But I just don’t have the fight left in me to remain a crusader. While I will still cut out the worst people from my life, I tolerate a lot if there’s at least *some* good in them.

        ….Dammit. I respect you. World needs more people like you. But I intend no offense when I say I don’t want to be one of them. I’d rather just keep my little corner of the world a happy place in what way I can.

    4. Schpoonman

      I kept seeing people use physical harm as their meter and Linda’s bullshit has physically crippled Sal and the racist institutions Linda represents thematically/supports diagetically took Marcie’s voice and put her assaulter in an Ivy League school.

      I’d rather not make “Who’s the worst parent?” comparisons but if we are by every metric Linda is “up there” with Carol and Blaine.

    5. A

      “I have family who firmly believe anyone who provides an abortion is a murderer and earnestly believe women need protection from being providing them… rather than it being a woman having some basic bodily autonomy.”
      —
      Where the fuck do you think that, “women need to be protected from doctors who give them basic healthcare that we think is wrong,” comes from? That is, quite literally, the definition of taking away a woman’s basic bodily autonomy. It is firmly rooted in the belief that women are incapable of making their own decisions regarding their own bodies. You are living in entitled ignorance if you think it is, as you said, NOT about women’s basic bodily autonomy. Misogynistic laws and rules stem from misogyny, just like racist and all other bigoted ones do.

      The fact that you live in this bubble that they are not worth writing off seems very clearly stemmed in you not ever having to be the direct victim of their bigoted and harmful views, so of course you say they are not past redemption. That is a privilege, as many cannot “look past” direct harassment and abuse from those who would take their basic human rights away, including so often their own family. You will do what you will with your life, but don’t think that makes you any better than those who choose to cut out the toxic ties that bind, for their own health and growth.

      People to be wary of are the ones who stand by and do nothing or supposedly, sometimes, “call them out on their bullshit,” since it doesn’t directly harm those outside of the bigot’s purview, not the “crusaders,” who actively go against the power, regardless of whether its hate is directed at them.

      1. Taffy

        Speak English, fucker

        1. Taffy

          Wrong comment. Damn it.

      2. Li

        FYI you misread Thrair, I’m pretty sure. Thrair is the one who thinks abortion IS about women’s basic bodily autonomy, it’s the family members in question who think it ISN’T.

        (Also, you might be right about Thrair in specific, or you might not be, but I would generally caution against assuming that everyone who’s not cutting even egregious bigots out of their lives is doing so because they have the privilege to not be impacted by that bigotry. Sometimes the shittiness we overlook harms us directly, and we overlook it for all kinds of other reasons. “Keeping the peace” is sometimes a continually personally painful process, and not everyone does it from within a bubble.)

        1. Thrair

          Yeah. I strongly support abortion as a right. I just have family who don’t.

          Can’t say I like A’s argument (not the least because they misunderstood mine). But they’re not wholly wrong. Touched on it in a reply to Amelie. I don’t fight for what’s right as much as I used to.

          But I’ve become cynical. If people like Linda can be changed, it’s not by me. Didn’t succeed once.

        2. Li

          Heh, well. I try not to assume I know exactly what it’s like in someone else’s shoes. That includes not assuming whatever battles they’re fighting would be easier for me than the ones I’m already fighting. I also try to keep in mind the advice that you’ve gotta put your own oxygen mask on first.

          If I may, it sounds like you burned yourself out pretty bad, and you haven’t yet had enough recovery time to be able to try again. That’s value-neutral. We need the time to recover and heal that we need.

          Also imho tough love works best from people who know us, and is fairly ineffective on total strangers.

    6. Taffy

      No. Discard everyone in your life for any reason and at any cost. Do not exercise any form of self preservation, even if it’s measured in accordance with your living conditions. It’s Privilege, Actually™ to not starve to death in the cold if you’re in a suboptimal situation and the alternative is having to put up with a crappy relative/roommate/significant other. No middle ground, you either isolate yourself from the impure or else you’re one of them.

    7. Needfuldoer

      Cognitive dissonance is a hell of a drug.

    8. C.T. Phipps

      I mean, Linda robbed $500 dollars from a charity for a mute girl’s surgery.

      She stole from a charity.

      She IS a monster.

      1. Bryy

        oh god link?

        1. Schpoonman

          She didn’t directly steal from a charity, but stole Sal’s $700 she’d saved up for Marcie’s surgery.

        2. Amelie Wikström

          Linda stole $700 from her thirteen year old child, and pretty much the next day Sal robbed two convenience stores. Linda I’m sure has never thought those two things were connected in any way, but I submit stealing from your children tends to have even worse effects than stealing from charity.

        3. C.T. Phipps

          I mean Sal didn’t think that money was for her, it was for Marcie.

  33. DarkoNeko

    oh no, no money for birthday, what worse thing could possibly happen /o\

    1. anon

      lol i imagine he’d get nothing or some ‘passive aggressive’ gift like “40 dollars was donated in your name to ___ group that helps out pocs/minorities in struggling communities”

  34. morhek

    Walky, I appreciate the attempt at a Batman Gambit, but in order to pull one off you have to BE Batman. And even Batman isn’t always good at it.

    1. eh, whatever

      Always be Batman.

      1. JBento

        #lifehack

    2. Mark

      Hey, he could become Batman. There’s a book on how to do it.

      1. Clif

        Is there?

  35. GUIGUI

    Here is for the most useless comment of all, but this means that sal and Walky were conceived during summer vacations.

  36. DashWallkick

    I am being laser targeted by panels 3 and 4 here. Goodbye. I’m going to be avoiding eye contact until the comic updates again.

  37. Steamweed

    *pats Walky on the head, feeds him some comfort Nachitos

  38. Zamperla

    Man. That’d be nice, Walky. That’d be nice.

  39. Felian

    Walky’s very on point here with the “past me” stuff!
    Being embarrassed at PastYou decisions means one thing: growth! You grew into a person who understands why PastYou’s behaviour was wrong. You don’t have to (or can) make it unhappen, but, let me end on a Terry Pratchett quote here, “The good thing about being embarrassed is that one day, you won’t be, but you’ll remember that you were.”. Keep moving forward.

    1. Taffy

      Yeah, everything you’ve ever done in your entire life has been a complete fuck-up and a tragic mistake, and you should be ashamed and embarrassed of it 24/7 or you’re not growing. Growth means constantly feeling bad for every little thing you’ve ever so much as thought in passing.

      1. Needfuldoer

        Stop wiretapping my inner monologue.

        1. Taffy

          No way, this is cash money in the bank once I get enough of it to fill a self-help book

        2. Clif

          I wonder if inner monologues are born copyrighted.

      2. HueSatLight

        My hobby is collecting regrets from younger me that mortify me decades later.

  40. Yeet

    I know linda’s not here but fuck you, linda
    you fucked up a perfectly good kid
    look at him, he has a perfectly reasonable fear you’re going to boot him out of college
    and also adhd probably

    1. Needfuldoer

      Linda did not fuck up a perfectly good kid.

      She fucked up two perfectly good kids, and was complicit in fucking up at least one more.

    2. Archieve

      Im sure Linda would brush off the possibility of adhd no mater rge diagnosis because that would mean she’d have to acknowledge she never paid thst close attention to him.

  41. John Campbell

    My headcanon is that Sal’s just enough older that she was born late on March 31st. But the family’s always celebrated on Walky’s birthday.

    1. Mturtle7

      Sadly plausible as a headcanon.

      Also, they always give them presents marked “to David and Sally”, but always pushed Walky to be the one who opens them. And they’re exclusively tailored to Walky’s interests, not Sal’s.

      1. Needfuldoer

        One year they each got to unwrap a present.

        Walky’s was a playset, Sal’s was accessories for Walky’s playset.

    2. HueSatLight

      And she didn’t even know until there was some confusion with a school nurse in elementary school.

  42. Smooti

    Walky: possibly the healthiest character mentally right now?

    Besides like, Booster and Charlie. They’re doing great

  43. Uly

    I’ve thought about this all day, and I think you’re all missing a point. Linda needs her kids at odds. Whatever she does about Amber, she’ll punish Walky by threatening Sal’s tuition.

  44. Mark

    Hey, Walky: alternative take: “every day in every way I’m getting better and better.”

  45. Laura

    …^Raise your hand^ if you’re exhausted?

    1. Laura

      ^raised.^

  46. Ana Chronistic

    no one will notice, but as due warning, I have been SLAMMED with con crud (which is actually more likely incubated whatever my cubicle neighbour had when he was coughing up a lung, UNMASKED, shortly before MAGFest) so anyway that’s why I’m not FIRSTing for a hot minute

    since I know SOME of you ask, I just don’t feel up to midnight EST (+server drift minutes)

    1. Kazuma Taichi

      I noticed simply because when I tune in, if you’re not within the first 3 comments I usually run a quick ctrl+f, and I just happened to not check my webcomics until 21:30 my time which is probly 23:30 server time if server’s EST

      1. Kazuma Taichi

        oh wow, those server drift minutes aren’t minor change, that’s a whole ass 10 minutes
        I rounded but this is actually 21:28 that I’m clicking post now

    2. Clif

      Hope you’re feeling better soon.

      1. Thrair

        Aye. Get well soon. May your phlegm soon be as pure as a shot of Everclear. Something which may also help make it so. 🙂

        Also, I’m replying to Clif and not Hue because if someone takes the last comment spot from Hue, it won’t be me. They should keep that spot.

        1. Skorpeyon

          I am now upset that I posted without having read the entire thread. 🙁

    3. HueSatLight

      Last comment achievement though.

    4. Skorpeyon

      I literally went back through the comments to find this out because I’m so used to seeing you at the top of the comments and just noticed you weren’t lately. Hope you feel better soon!

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