223

Cooches
Posted on May 21, 2017 by David M Willis

223 thoughts on “Cooches”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    Siri: “There aren’t any… at least, not with your party affiliation.”

    Robin: “I KNEW IT”

    1. Ana Chronistic

      oh hey Brody

    2. Pablo360

      Robin: “Siri, I feel like you’re the only person who really gets me, you know?”

      Wait that’s not Robin, that’s me

    3. darkoneko

      “what party affiliation, they fired me”

    4. Yet_One_More_Idiot

      And this is where Robin goes to the college and hires Dorothy, Joyce, Billie, Walky, Sarah, Sal, etc to be her campaign team, and they completely turn the campaign around for her and she WINS!

      …or am I just dreaming? xD

      1. Ellegos

        That would be awesome. Call Roz, who pulls in the only other politically minded person we know, Dorothy to try and save Roz’s campaign, sans homophobia. And the others get pulled in as well. The only downside is that Dorothy might refuse to take it because of her slipping grades.

        1. foamy

          Dorothy wants to be in politics. Working with a sitting Representative would be a fantastic opportunity for her, with the downside being, that Representative is Robin.

          I’m thinkin’ Robin might be making a trip back to Leslie’s. Possibly still with no pants.

      2. zoelogical

        except she doesn’t pay her interns

        r i p

      3. BBCC

        I don’t think Sal would agree – she has a few bones to pick with Robin (the LGBT+ issue, birth control, and her immigration policies). Also, that’s work – Walky would probably not do that. And Dorothy has her grades slipping. I don’t think Billie or Sarah would care. Literally the only thing that might appeal to them is warning people about Ryan, which they seem to be doing on their own.

  2. Kris

    Does anyone still say “jag” in 2017?

    1. Pearl

      Robin does and i love her

    2. Reltzik

      Plenty of people.

      …. they’re not very HIP people, though.

      1. BBCC

        I do sometimes.

        1. Kris

          Are you “hip” though? I mean, I don’t want to get into your business but that is the question.

        2. BBCC

          I suppose that’s a matter of opinion, but I like to think so – my use of quirky slang is part of my charm.

      2. Gigafreak

        Dorothy has used it!

        Dorothy and Robin will unite on this shared ground and run for Presidency and Vice Presidency. DeSanto and Keener 2020: “God Hates Jags” “Jag Queens” Straight Edge and Jagged Edge“We Fight Crime”

        1. Rukduk

          But how are they supposed to beat the Rock? That man oozes charisma.
          …
          Then again he’d probably get into some weird wacky competition with Robin involving waffles or something.

        2. zoelogical

          the rock would win, and it would be sweet

    3. Zatar

      I’ve seen some of my online friends use “jagoff.”

      1. Doom Shepherd

        Everyone in Pittsburgh.

    4. John

      Willis is bringing it back.

    5. Delicious Taffy

      I say it on a daily basis.

  3. Reltzik

    ….

    Holy carp, is my prediction of Becky joining Robin’s campaign staff going to come true?

    1. Pearl

      I LOVE IT PLEASE

    2. smashman42

      That would be totally amazing!

      She’d have to go independent though. Not like the Dems will take her that quickly, right?

      1. Reltzik

        Given that they’ve already got their own candidate in Manley? No. No, they will not.

        She could, in theory, keep running as a Republican, because that’s the party that would still be on the ballot. She’s got name recognition, incumbency advantage, some big donors still willing to give to an incumbent no matter whether that candidate has lost endorsement, and a lot of campaign fundraising already completed.

        …. now just to remember which of her fired staff has the password to that bank account….

        1. Beef

          Would Becky join her campaign as a Republican though?

        2. Dafydd

          Becky’s family likely always voted Republican, so it’s not that big of a stretch.

        3. Needfuldoer

          Serious question: it’s the first week of October, so there’s barely a month left until election day. Is the GOP stuck with her as their candidate?

        4. Reltzik

          Short answer: Yes.

          Longer answer: Going by the rules for 2016 (which Indiana may change in the future, so who knows how it works in comic time), the deadline for a candidate to withdraw from the election and the deadline for major parties to certify a nominee was a way back in July. Ballots have already been printed with the word “Republican” next to Robin’s name. Absentee ballots have already been mailed out.

          HOWEVER, it’s theoretically possible for the Republican Party to get enough of their people to write in a new choice of candidate, meaning convince everyone in the district who listens to them to vote for an UNLISTED candidate by writing that name into the blank on the ballot provided for that purpose. This…. isn’t very realistic. But it’s possible!

          The kind of advertising campaign to get lots of people to do that would be expensive and desperate, to say the least. Most likely the party has decided to cut its losses and focus on other races. Robin’s still technically the party’s nominee, but she’s not going to get any support. … and it wouldn’t surprise me if a few local-grown Republican rogue wannabes get on media and start calling for all true conservatives to write-in vote for them, rather than that RINO DeSanto. (They just likely won’t have the support or resources of the party to pull this off.)

          If Robin keeps running? I’m GUESSING she still has a debate with Manley upcoming, since at least one debate is typical and the outcome of the last debate hasn’t been mentioned in-comic. She’ll be introduced as the Republican nominee, and will likely be asked a question about the endorsement being withdrawn. She also won’t have a staff to help her prep, so expect her answers to be unresearched, unrehearsed, and incoherent. If we see any of it it will be equal parts awful and hilarious.

        5. HeySo

          “so expect her answers to be unresearched, unrehearsed, and incoherent. If we see any of it it will be equal parts awful and hilarious.”

          The current US president has staff, and yet manages worse, and I think we’re well past the stage of finding such things hilarious, by now. :X

          Then again, it *is* Robin- if anyone can make political absurdity funny again, it’d be her.

        6. Ntrovert

          … And there is the new campaign slogan:

          “MAKE ABSURDITY FUNNY AGAIN”

        7. thejeff

          Yeah, the write in thing rarely works. Generally only when a incumbent popular with the broader electorate loses a primary to an extremist who appeals to the base. And only in a race where the other party doesn’t have a chance, otherwise you just split the vote and lose the seat.

          In this case, the district is pretty evenly split. With Robin’s melt-down, Manley’s almost certain to win. A serious write in campaign would guarantee it.

    3. Commodore Jeep-Eep

      That would cause me to lose any respect for Becky; frankly, I also think she’d not want anything to do with the folks who want to fuck her over.

  4. TimeLoss

    Darn it Robin, at least find out who Ryan really is before firing the people who immediately know.

    1. Eyebrow

      That would have been a great idea.

  5. Cattleprod

    Oh jeez, I just realized it was an ‘aide de lamp’ and I don’t know if that even qualifies as a pun.

    1. Reltzik

      Technically, no. Much like etymology the thespian treatment, that would instead count as a play on words.

      ….

      …. which, ironically, is a pun.

      1. Reltzik

        *GIVING etymology the thespian treatment.

    2. MM

      That should be a tag.

      1. ValdVin

        Oooh, yes, it should.

  6. LoveIsInTheBlood16

    I hop your prediction com true..

    1. LoveIsInTheBlood16

      I hate my phone…..

    2. Beef

      I said a hip hop the hippie the hippie to the hip hip hop their prediction com true

      1. LoveIsInTheBlood16

        Dude….way to turn that around…

  7. BBCC

    Oh, hush, Frieda, you’re not even that high up in her campaign and you met her the day before yesterday.

    1. C.T Phipps

      Frieda’s loyalty is without equal. Frieda even stood by her when Robin was engaged in some sort of twisted sex game which must have occurred due to the representative being in a lesbian’s house for an extended period! Robin is a crusher of dreams. DREAMMMMS!

      1. BBCC

        How noble. 😛

        1. C.T Phipps

          Since Poe’s Law is enforced by reality lately, I should mention that was sarcasm. 🙂

        2. BBCC

          As was mine, sorry. Damn you internet tone!

    2. zoelogical

      lol yeah this

    3. Tan

      3 days ago.

      1. Tan

        Specifically, there was the day leading up to the midnight rally (Sunday), then there was the day Robin came to Leslie’s class that ended with the B&E (Monday), then there was a full day of trying and failing to throw Robin out (but for Robin it was a Tuesday), then today (Wednesday) starts with http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/03-the-thing-i-was-before/grateful/

        1. BBCC

          Right! Sorry.

  8. Passchendaele

    “Google, does anyone still use jag anymore?”

    *one of dorothy’s newspaper articles shows up*

    1. Passchendaele

      Also, I can’t tell if Whitney’s saying good luck is showing contempt at Robin’s firing her last supports for her political campaign (and he is right about that and her impulsiveness, though he hasn’t considered Robin is very goal-oriented and has a loftier one in mind now) or an actual expression of goodwill, recognizing that Robin has made up her mind and he should admit defeat semi-gracefully (unlike Freida).

      1. begbert2

        His face says me means it. Unliked Frieda, who saw employment with Robin as a means to her own career and political ends, Whitney seems to have genuinely liked her as a person, enough to want to wish her well.

      2. Charles RB

        Based on his expression, goodwill.

        Though the way they got fired, Frieda probably has an actual legal case (_she_ wasn’t the one who said “don’t chase Ryan” and still got fired for it).

        1. Lin

          Nope. Indiana is an at will work state, meaning your employer that can terminate employment for any reason (or lack thereof) as long as it doesn’t violate discrimination laws.

        2. Delicious Taffy

          Of course, let’s not pretend people don’t still violate discrimination laws, assuming the terminated employee won’t fight them on it.

    2. brionl

      Judge Advocate General? Sure the military uses it all the time.

  9. Stephen Bierce

    *plays Heart’s “Alone” on the hacked Muzak*

  10. Dean

    Aide is probably getting lit somewhere.

    Because he’s a lamp.

  11. Kris

    Y’know what? I’m gonna say it. I kinda liked Frieda. She works hard and in fairness she didn’t suggest sweeping the “Ryan” situation away…..she just kept her mouth shut while Whitney did….which is kinda bad by proxy maybe?

    1. Zatar

      I don’t. Keeping her mouth shut in a situation like this means she’s supporting him in this case. And she’s being blatantly homophobic.

      1. Kris

        ……..I might be part of the problem, cause I immediately thought that was a pretty good burn, but then again I still don’t like Robin even after her apparent turn around.

        1. Beef

          To be fair, I didn’t notice the issue with it until I saw the comments and realized “cooches” is plural and she’s basically implied she’s been fucking non-stop since she got into Leslie’s house

        2. Kris

          I can respect that I’m definitely in the minority with my opinion of Frieda. The comment is pretty insulting.

        3. C.T Phipps

          Joyce and Becky were in the same house as Robin and a lesbian. What OTHER reason could they be there than sex?

        4. Jess

          If that’s the case, then Joyce her student and Leslie could get fired for that kind of scandal.

      2. zoelogical

        she’s also pretty young. i mean, like, not an excuse, but she wouldn’t be the first person to get swept away in somebody else’s bad leadership

        and that’s the main problem with robin leaving for two days and letting everyone run amok – she left them without leadership

        1. zoelogical

          dont really excuse the “slamming faces into cooches” line tho

        2. thejeff

          I’m not sure I’d really call what Robin’s been providing “leadership”.

        3. zoelogical

          possibly not!! but she is still, technically, the person calling the shots who can fire people. which is a form of leadership and management.

          i mean like: just because she’s a leader doesn’t mean she’s a good one, or even competent at it

          but that pretty much has been what she has been trying to do for most of her career, whether or not she realized it

    2. rectilinearpropagation

      It’d be one thing if Frieda hadn’t had a chance to protest before getting fired but there’s a panel of silence in the last strip which indicates to me that Frieda had a chance to denounce the “Ryan” plan and chose not to.

      Then, instead of denouncing it afterward, she made her “face in cooches” comment. I don’t know if I had an opinion of Frieda before but I definitely don’t feel sorry for her now.

    3. Beef

      Not really “keeping her mouth shut” she’s just not saying what he already said a second time. They’re clearly in agreement on this

  12. Nono

    THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR USING HER FIRST NAME, WHITNEY.

  13. Keulan

    Maybe Robin should’ve found out Ryan’s real name before firing all her campaign staff?

    1. James

      That would require a modicum of foresight

      1. Reltzik

        Or focus.

    2. rectilinearpropagation

      I think if they were going to tell her then they just would have when she got his name wrong.

      Why was it, “That’s not his name” full stop instead of “That’s not his name, that’s [name]”? And then Whitney going pronoun only when he knows Robin doesn’t know his name.

      I think they deliberately withheld it because she was talking about making sure something happened to him, which neither of them wanted to happen.

      1. Betty Anne

        ^ All of this. I’d have fired the dickweeds, too. That information needs to be front, center, and in the process of going through the correct avenues to the school and police department, not intentionally hidden away from a Representative. 😐

  14. AnvilPro

    Frieda deserved better anyway

    1. Beef

      I think Robin’s exactly what she deserved. If she was with a “better” candidate, said candidate would’ve probably gone along with the ignoring rape thing

    2. 3oranges

      Anyone better would have deserved better than Frieda, considering her reaction to learning an intern was a sexual predator was “Lies! Slander!”

    3. Delicious Taffy

      No, she didn’t.

  15. DailyBrad

    Firing people with no pants on. This is like the ultimate power fantasy for many, I am sure.

    1. BP

      Note to self: update bucket list.

  16. The Mad Academic

    I appreciate the political commentary. But I also find it exhausting considering the news cycle has been filled with madness for the past year and a half. Or longer. It feels longer. This Canadian is tired of American news. Also, insert the social commentary. I truly realize the importance, and I appreciate it, but… how do you fend off that sort of exhaustion, especially when you suffer depression already?

  17. fillerusername

    Yeah it’s a good idea to fire them if she’s had a genuine change of heart and wants to be a better person but in the short term this was impulsive and not smart (she still doesn’t know Ryan’s real name.) She is a political pariah right now and she’ll become even more of one when these two let it be known how they were let go. If she wasn’t already completely 100% dead with the republican party she’s made sure of it now. Again, if she’s going to rebrand burning it all to the ground is probably the best way to do it. It’ll be harder to slip back into bad habits when she’s shut every door to them.

    1. StClair

      “Impulsive” is Robin’s main trait.

      1. fillerusername

        Yep. Impulsive and shortsighted.

        1. fillerusername

          Also equal parts willfully ignorant and self centered.

        2. JetstreamGW

          Which has been true since she was first introduced in the Aughts 😛 Why are so many people acting like this is new information?

    2. PyrrhusDuAekillhus

      Really? Getting rid of the friends who tried to stand by you even when that qualifies as rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, because they’re giving you exactly the practical advice they’re paid to give you, is evidence of “being a better person in the long term”?

      Because honestly I’d probably class that as “I didn’t know that Robin could be more morally repugnant, but apparently she found a way” as plot developments go. I’m half expecting her to stop the cab on the way home so she can kick a starving puppy through some flaming kerosene into an orphanage with a gas leak.

      1. MM

        They’re not friends, they’re staff. Sure, they’re arguably doing the best they can under lousy circumstances…but when those lousy circumstances involve providing cover for a potential rapist, you kinda need to take a step back and reevaluate your priorities.

      2. thejeff

        You can also be pretty sure it’s staff like these two (if not these two specifically) who’ve been advising Robin on what positions she needs to take to attract voters – specifically the homophobic “family values” stuff.

        Which isn’t to say Robin isn’t also a horrible boss. Witness her treatment of Kyle.

    3. Liliet

      I feel like she didn’t ‘have a change of heart’, her heart was in the right place all along. More like she stopped ignoring all the terrible shit and realized what the necessary first step for actually doing good is.

      If you tell her she hasn’t been doing good all along tho, she will still stonewall you. Robin is perfect and no-one can dare suggest otherwise, even as she’s turning her act around 180.

  18. Nono

    So random thought: didn’t Amazi-Girl and Sal get the Bros’ names? Dawson, Tyler and the other one? That’s a connection right there.

    1. butting

      And if he’s “popular” and has “sympathizers”, does that mean there’s talk about him online that could tie him to his identity? ‘Cos Amber will be all over that shit, even if it’s just the first hints out there.

    2. BBCC

      I dunno if they got Dawson, but I think they got Taylor or Tyler.

    3. Delicious Taffy

      Who says those tools aren’t also using fake names?

  19. John

    Huh, Whitney seems like he’s genuinely wishing the woman who just fired him for being a total jag luck. I wouldn’t have expected that.

    1. Smiling Cat

      He seems almost sympathetic. I kinda want to see him as being one of those “my party right or wrong” guys who knows how to play the political game and maybe sometime wishes he didn’t. He’d like to be on the side of the angels, but angels don’t win elections. He’ll go home and have a double of scotch.

      1. C.T Phipps

        The scary thing is he clearly is disgusted by Ryan since he said to fire the guy and could barely speak the word “supporters” as if the people made his skin crawl to mention.

        1. Smiling Cat

          That’s the problem with “my party/country/college basketball team right or wrong”. Sometimes the wrong gets very VERY wrong.

    2. fillerusername

      I think it is genuine. He’s probably worked for her for awhile and it’s a natural human response to feel something when you’re watching someone who is very clearly self destructing. She might be becoming a better person and she is taking a genuine moral stand in this moment but from the outside it does look like she has just burnt her entire career to the ground in a few short days. And he probably assumes his career/life will bounce back from this way before hers does. He probably isn’t wrong either.

      1. Betty Anne

        He’ll have a new job tomorrow, if he wants one. All he has to do is show how he was running block for a rapist and deflecting the obvious about Robin, and another up-and-coming Republican candidate will snap him right up. He has a strong future in politics. :p

    3. JetstreamGW

      Gonna keep repeating it until my brain explodes: You can have shitty opinions and still be a good person.

      1. Schpoonman

        I don’t fully agree with that. I know people who are otherwise good human beings with horrible horrible stances and you can’t reconcile that. There’s a line between having some outdated views on marriage and voting for a sexual predator and general human shit pile for president, willfully subjecting people to the horrible prejudice and bigotry they have and will inflict on innocent people.

        A person’s opinion is who they are, so a person with shitty opinions is generally a shitty person.

        1. thejeff

          You can however have shitty opinions on one topic and good ones on others. Exactly where you draw the line on “good person” is a judgment call.

    4. Trolldrool

      Whitney strikes me as the sort of person who won’t directly involve himself in doing something disgusting, but is more willing to pretend it’s none of his business if it doesn’t happen to anyone he knows. I imagine he’d call an ambulance if he found a victim of a hatecrime on the street, but look away whenever the questions arise of the social issues motivating that violence.

    5. PyrrhusDuAekillhus

      He just offered to cover for a felony for her, and pretty much assume the legal responsibility for the whole thing (by stopping the trail the cops would be following at him). Not crazy surprising that he considers her a friend rather than just his boss, all that loyalty has to come from somewhere.

      1. thejeff

        Not really.
        He’s not suggesting anything illegal. If the cops actually came asking and he covered it up that would be one thing, but this is just not taking the extra step of ? Exactly what does Robin want to do here? I’m not even sure.

        Fire him, sure, but Whitney supports that. Leak the name to Leslie/Dorothy, sure. There isn’t really any legal action she can take or even pressure the police to take without someone at least filing a report on the crime.

        1. Liliet

          Keep blowing up the scandal. Make sure people KNOW what he did. Make a stand that sends a message you do NOT tolerate this kind of shit in your camp. Officially state that you believe the victim.

          Legal consequences aren’t the most important thing here.

    6. BenRG

      One thing that Willis occasionally does well is by giving his characters multiple dimensions and avoiding making secondary characters too cartoonish. Whitney may be a man with political views that many find offensive but that does not prevent him from being loyal and, possibly, even genuinely good-natured towards those he regards as friends.

  20. 3-I

    “Jamming your face in cooches.”

    haaahaaahaa, there’s the fucking door, Frieda. GET OUT.

    I actually can’t tell whether she’s just a vulgar homophobe or she just has real serious misconceptions regarding what WLW do together.

    1. fillerusername

      She’s a republican so the answer to both possibilities would be yes.

    2. CoMa

      I’m not sure I’m happy about having learned a new slang term (or is it a slur?) today in this context. Without your comment, I actually didn’t really think about what Frieda said but the situation (English’s not my first language. And I certainly don’t know much slang/slurs/whatever you may call that. But I guess it’s better to be educated and not like it, than to be ignorant.

      1. CoMa

        (+ stupidly enough I paid absolutely no attention to the title of the strip. Shame on me for that >.>)

        1. Frederic Garber

          There’s a popular performer Kate Micucci (Pronounced mih-Coo-chee) who has used her own last name as the punchline in a number of jokes. I’d say it’s more slang than slur, but Frieda is definitely not referring to Leslie and Robin’s tryst in a positive manner. It was a popular nonsense word for use when tickling babies when I grew up (coochie coochie coo!) I would not say that now.

        2. CoMa

          Some background info is nice, thanks!

          And OHHH, okay, interesting – over here we used it (I don’t know if people nowadays still do that, with studies having proven that children should be talked to relatively normal for them to pick up language correctly etc.), but it was more like “goochie goochie goo” (sounding a bit like the brand “Gucci”, but definitely with soft consonants at the beginning of the words) – I’d never have drawn a connection to that (and yeah, I wouldn’t use that now, either)

  21. rectilinearpropagation

    What the heck does Frieda think a lawyer is going to do? Wouldn’t their positions in her campaign be at-will employment? She can’t think it’s illegal to fire campaign staff for giving advice the candidate thinks is horrible.

    1. fillerusername

      I’m guessing Frieda comes from a wealthy background and is used to throwing lawyers at any problem that comes up in her life.

    2. Rukduk

      Plus that…statement of her’s in the first panel could be construed as sexual harassment by a skilled enough lawyer. I’m just saying, you don’t want to start playing legal hardball in civil court with someone who can get a better lawyer than you.

    3. MM

      Maybe she’s just getting her ducks in a row for the eventual tell-all interview or book.

    4. DSL

      Threatening a lawsuit is the first refuge of the entitled.

  22. Gizen

    Panel 3 is one of the most shocking things I’ve ever seen in this comic. Whitney with a somewhat concerned look on his face, rather than curse Robin for firing him, after pausing to collect his composure simply wishes her luck. Though very small, it’s a surprising gesture of actual humanity and decency that stands in sharp contrast to Frieda right next to him.

  23. Fart Captor

    Fuck you, Frieda. You suck.

  24. Rukduk

    You know what. No. You don’t get to be upset Frieda. You organized one rally for her, delighted in using unpaid labor to do so, claimed that the first allegation against “Ryan” was a smear attack by the opponent, and were willing to go along with Whitney’s plan of just covering “Ryan” up. “We ran defense”, Yeah a pretty damn bad one at that. Also, screw your homophobia and your assumption that Robin was involved in an orgy or having multiple sexual partners simply because Robin is bi.

    1. BBCC

      And, again, Freida is simply not that high up. She works student outreach for her campaign and met her the day before YESTERDAY. I dunno where she got the idea she’s some vital part of the campaign.

      1. C.T Phipps

        Does Robin have any employees except her and Whitney?

        1. fillerusername

          I don’t think so. From what they said it looks like everyone else (aide included) jumped ship and they were the last two hold outs.

        2. thejeff

          Well, I’d assume this is just the local office. Like BBCC said, Freida’s fairly low level. We don’t know what role Whitney plays. Or where Kyle is.
          There’s also a difference between campaign staff and Congressional staff.
          She’d have staff back in Washington, if nothing else.

        3. BBCC

          Yeah, she might still have some in her other offices. I think Whitney is her campaign manager (if so, her career is fuuuuuuucked) but Freida’s just running student outreach.

        4. BBCC

          Doesn’t look like it anymore.

  25. C.T Phipps

    I’d like to think Robin will use her influence (which is gone) to press for an investigation of Ryan (who she doesn’t know the actual name of) so as to discover if he’s done this more than once (which he probably has) as well as bring a crushing prosecution that will destroy him (it could happen). However, I think that requires Robin to actually have thoughts on what to do.

    What DOES she think she can do other than fire him?

    1. Kris

      She definitly can’t get him jailed. Not for his crimes against Joyce anyway. The best chance is to catch him assaulting someone else (which might be Dorothy 0_0) then get him on charges if other victims (cause there are probably other victims) including Joyce come out to testify against him. Robin could use her political recognition or more accurately infamy to spread the news of “Ryan” to a wider network so it can reach more potential victims.

    2. Jezi

      I think this is exactly what Robin THINKS she will do. The problem is that she seems to be a complete figurehead who is very good at hiring people to do her job for her without her having to think about anything. She’s wrapped herself in a bubble where she just walks around getting her way and gaming the system, without having to worry about all the nuts and bolts that keep the ship afloat. And she does not realize just how little power she has without those nuts and bolts being tended to.

      1. Charles RB

        What she needs is a new staff but I’d bet Robin would need a staff member to hire her staff. So THIS is gonna be fun to watch.

        Probably shoulda kept Frieda & Whitney until you had Not-Ryan’s details, Robin.

  26. Cerberus

    Comic Reactions:

    Panel 1: Frieda’s reaction is very telling. “We ran defense”, but there’s little sign of actual defense having occurred not that it would have mattered to her campaign if it did.

    But she’s also likely telling the truth. This looks very spacious and covered with posters for down-ticket candidates. This is likely her Campaign HQ and it’s missing everyone. No volunteers, no aide, no random other handlers or assistants. These two really are the only ones left.

    And that’s the thing about putting your lot behind bigots. They only support you as long as you continue hating the groups they do. Once you show a sign that you might be the group they’re hating or don’t hate them in the right way, they turn on a dime.

    And it’s clear Frieda thought that loyalty to the sinking ship mattered, despite being responsible for bringing Ryan in in the first place, despite knowing this was a potential issue and not getting ahead of it, nor sending anyone in to Leslie’s place or calling her up on her phone.

    And she throws in a little bit of homophobia on top of all of it, because well, why wouldn’t she. It’s a central platform of what Robin has been running on. People attracted to supporting that are not going to have nice tolerant views on queer folks.

    Panel 2: I like how serious Robin is here. There’s no “totes” or other Robinisms. It’s just short and to the point and sticking to her guns. But it also makes me a little sad as well that she can be this serious for them but couldn’t be responsive and serious to Leslie when she was stalking her.

    Panel 3: Oh, Frieda, you prove your incompetence here. Don’t go for a lawyer, go to the news media. You’ve been behind the scenes of a current hot story train wreck and they’ll pay big for good dirt. I mean, if we’re already being a scumbag, you might as well go big or go home.

    And Whitney, that little moment of professionalism. It feels haunting, because it’s a genuine moment from him. You can tell that working on this campaign was likely important to him and he believed in it. And it’s haunting because of what that campaign is and what he so casually suggested in support of it. And yet he’s almost disappointed in Robin for not following suit and doing what is best for her political future in this twisted party of hers. Almost pitying her.

    Panels 4-5: Welp, Robin, it’s the rest of your life now. Like, you won’t ever hit a rock bottom. You have way too much wealth and folks will throw cushy jobs your way just for the access you bring being a former congressperson. But this? This is done.

    And I suspect it will be not long until she realizes that this wasn’t a problem contained just by Frieda and Whitney, but the whole toxic mess she has anchored herself to. That she has served faithfully to the detriment of real people’s rights and well-being. And maybe she’ll be low enough to actually use that to grow and escape this and become someone who can truly begin a redemption arc and genuinely start the hard-work of fixing a lot of damage and wrong-doing and owning the responsibility for that wholly.

    Alt-text: Saying hi to his younger scarred brother, perhaps?

    1. BP

      Re: alt text analysis: OH FUCK I HADN’T CONSIDERED THAT

      Please please let this hunch be wrong

      1. fillerusername

        Alt text analysis: Hmmmm

      2. fillerusername

        Also are you really that attached to aide that this would be a devastating reveal?

        1. Kris

          I kinda think congressional aide is Whitney. Same color hair, similar face, same goatee. The only difference is hairstyle. It could be Robin has two dudes that look similar on her team?

        2. BBCC

          Aide’s name is Kyle, but I’d buy them being relatives.

        3. Reltzik

          Kyle o’Ryan?

        4. Leorale

          Kyle o’Ryan… Kylo’ryan… Kylo Ren!!

          Seriously though it’s probably that they have the same very-white-dude look. They’re hard to tell apart, they could be related, they go to the same Republican club.

        5. Reltzik

          … then again, maybe it’s just that there are so many white male staffers there that they all look alike.

        6. Delicious Taffy

          I totally forgot we’d seen Frieda before. She leaves less impact than Hank.

        7. BP

          No, but it would put Ryan in a greater position of power over Joyce and other women he’s victimized.

      3. Bicycle Bill

        ‘Aide’ is off-panel, probably courteously holding the door for Frieda and Whitney.

  27. DaveM

    And through all of this Robin is still barefoot and pants free. Gotta respect that.

    1. zoelogical

      burn your pants for liberation

      1. BrokenEye, True False Prophet

        The call is coming from inside your pants! You’ve got to get out of your pants!!!

        1. zoelogical

          burn the lies out of your pants

        2. Arianod

          the pants are a lie

        3. zoelogical

          the pants are the great red dragon

        4. foamy

          And so is death!

        5. zoelogical

          and what do we say to the god of pants death?

    2. Needfuldoer

      Shoes are overrated.

      1. Bagge

        Perfect gravatar is perfect

    3. showler

      Also, I just realized, wearing Leslie’s shirt.

  28. Bagge

    You gotta hand it to Robin – when she burns her bridges she burns them with style.

    1. zoelogical

      la mode sans pants

      1. Bagge

        Pants are for the establishment

        1. StClair

          “Gondor has no pants. Gondor needs no pants.”

        2. Rukduk

          We don’t acknowledge that one. That one was made by Ralph Bakshi. It doesn’t count towards Lord of the Rings.

        3. Bicycle Bill

          Don’t you go dissing Ralph Bakshi!!  Sure, he was a little off the wall, but Jackson Pollack, Salvador Dali, and Pablo Picasso weren’t?

        4. Bagge

          My headcanon is that none of the gentlemen discussed wore pants.

        5. zoelogical

          they wore breeches

        6. Bagge

          Not when they fired their campaign staffs, they didn’t.

        7. zoelogical

          cylindrical garment-free and loving it

        8. Rukduk

          For the record, I like none of those artists. Cubeism, abstraction, and most art since the 1880s generally do not feel aesthetically pleasing. However, they did not marr something that I loved in the way Ralph Bakshi did, and thus I bear them no ill-will.

        9. Rukduk

          Oh, I should have specified “painting” instead of “art”. But seriously give me impressionism, naturalism, romanticism, and baroque painting any day of the week over anything Picasso did, save perhaps “Guenicca” solely for the political impact.

        10. zoelogical

          ok but at least bakshi had the guts to follow through with the badass “15 Birds” song

          IM STARING AT YOU PETER JACKSON, I’VE NEVER BEEN SO DISAPPOINTED IN MY LIFE

  29. BenRG

    Okay, did I call it when I predicted that Becky (and possibly Dorothy) would end up running Robin’s campaign? If I did, then I’m about to freak out.

  30. NinjaNick

    Time for a new plan (and a pair of pants).

    1. Bagge

      No regrets, no looking back, no pants

      1. Reltzik

        No more skirting the issues.

  31. Bicycle Bill

    Whitney: “Who on earth would be your campaign manager now?”
    ——————————
    Saint Jude, the patron saint of desperate causes?

    1. Arianod

      Wasn’t that Saint Rita?

    2. merbrat

      St Anthony? Patron Saint of Lost Things? (pants/staff/Party)

      1. Arianod

        Nah. It’s Saint Rita, I’m sure.

  32. Taigan

    Well, if her re-election falls apart I’m sure she can find other work. Are there any toy stores nearby?

    1. Rukduk

      Nope. But there is a Pizzaria that also sells subsandwiches…

  33. KaitouKidisBae

    “We’re telling you to let a probable rapist get away, but how dare you fire us?”

    On the upside, I actually like Robin as a character a whole lot more now. Little bit of a yay in the last two “make me feel super shitty and sad and mad” strips.

  34. XMS

    The URL is unintentionally (intentionally?) hilarious:

    /03-the-thing-i-was-before/cooches/

    1. LoveIsInTheBlood16

      Lmao I would have never noticed…

    2. zoelogical

      frick

  35. Liliet

    I wonder

    I do wonder if this is entirely because of Ryan or if Robin is feeling so DONE with her campaign staff because she’s in the process of opening her eyes to how shit her whole platform is

    1. thejeff

      It does tend to reinforce the (subconscious?) intentional self-sabotage thing, doesn’t it?

      1. Leorale

        Yeah, if there was any doubt before, there’s none now, she’s taking a scorched earth policy to her career.

      2. Liliet

        I don’t actually think this is self-sabotage here. I think she’s more like ‘I WAS TOLD MY PARTY IS SHITTY AND HERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE SPECIFIC REPRESENTATIONS OF IT TIME TO START FIIXNG STUFF’

        like she’s not thinking of it as self-sabotaing, just doing the right thing for multiple reasons without thinking through multiple consequences

        1. Bagge

          Hmmmm. I have also read her as self-sabotaging for a long time, but I agree that your reading works very well. It feeds into her “never-MY-fault” personality, and that part about not thinking through consequences is very Robin.

        2. Liliet

          Yup. And the part where she was hiding from the press in Leslie’s home was self-destructive, but not, I think, consciously self-sabotaging either. Just “I have no idea what to do to salvage any of this, might as well do nothing and let everything happen without me.” Solving problems by ignoring they exist!

        3. Leorale

          Good call! This is also totally possible.

          Either way I don’t think she’s doing it consciously. Because:
          1. Consequences are for other people
          2. If you ignore problems long enough, they usually become irrelevant (because they are replaced with other, often-larger problems… but, see point 1.)

  36. brasca1

    It’s really for the best. Getting fired by a politician who’s going down in flames can be chalked up to a mental breakdown and not incompetence or disloyalty so Frieda and Whitney shouldn’t have much trouble finding a new campaign team.
    Their careers are actually in better shape now than if they go down with the ship.

  37. spoopyfox

    and that’s the story of how dottie got her first job in politics

  38. NoOneLikesRobin

    Fucking ugh. Becky and Dorothy will run Robin’s campaign. It will be a campaign of sitcommy, wacky hijinks. Holy smokes, with their youthful enthusiasm, finger on the pulse of America and Robin’s goofy, charming personality, they pull off the underdog upset of the year! Gooooo women! *high five, freeze frame*. Epilogue: “See Leslie? I’ve changed! Let’s fuck”.

    Except Robin is *still* unqualified for any office, if she changed this fast it means she actually still has no convictions or beliefs whatsoever and is basically a vessel waiting to be filled, and for Dorothy to actually want someone like her in office, even if she was receptive to her ideas, would be a huge breach of character for her. Also, Robin has yet to apologize for being a gaslighting home invader. Doesn’t matter, reality warps around Robin DeSanto!

    Also, it’s the outcome that everyone saw coming from ten thousand miles away, which means it was the least interesting outcome.

    1. Fart Captor

      Becky literally just helped put the final nail in her campaign’s coffin, and you yourself just noted how out of character it would be for Dorothy.

      I really don’t understand why you think there’s ANY chance if that happening

      1. NoOneLikesRobin

        I didn’t think Willis would play home invasion and gaslighting by a Republican in authority against a formerly abused lesbian for laughs either, but here we are.

        Her Republican campaign is in shambles. She’ll probably run as an independent now or something.

        1. rectilinearpropagation

          …You don’t follow him on Twitter, do you?

        2. NoOneLikesRobin

          No, I don’t. Care to elaborate?

        3. foamy

          He’s made fun of you on a couple of occasions recently. Today, for example:

          https://twitter.com/damnyouwillis/status/866420009656086528

        4. NoOneLikesRobin

          That’s pretty funny, actually. What were the other times?

          I get it, Willis deals with a bunch of entitled shitheads on the internet all day every day, so I’d probably react the same way too.

          Willis buddy, if you’re reading this, I’m not “Mad”, nor am I demanding you do anything as a reader (I know you get those shitheads). You do you man, and I’ll read it. Promise. I’m just sad that a normally excellent strip takes a nosedive in quality (IMO) thanks to this one character who really doesn’t fit or work well.

          Apparently I’m wrong about my assumptions where the story is going (if that tweet is about me). Good! That means I’ll get better DOA goodness than I was expecting, and I was wrong about how far he’s willing to go for Robin. Stoked about both those things. Can’t wait to read it.

          Even if he did alter the story just to make me sad, it’s not like the strip would be ruined. So go ahead I guess?

        5. foamy

          The other one I am aware of is this one: https://twitter.com/damnyouwillis/status/866056660829294594

        6. NoOneLikesRobin

          Now that I’m actually at a computer, let me elaborate: Willis has been foreshadowing this pretty hard.

          1. Dorothy just suffered a couple of major losses: she let her grades slip for the first time in her life, and more importantly she was just taught a very valuable lesson about politics, namely bineg qualified isn’t always more important than being likable/personable. Who taught her this lesson? Roz Desanto. It would not be a huge leap for Dorothy to go “I need a foot in the door of the political world, It’s clear that Robin is basically a puppet waiting for a hand at this point so I could use her to potentially make a difference, running this campaign would be great on my resume even if I don’t win, and personally I need to feel like I accomplished something after my two personal failures. What better way to do that than with the sister of the person who just sort of beat me?” All you would have to do is ignore that, even with Robin beginning to come to the side of the light, no one should hate everything Robin means to politics and about politics more than Dorothy. I’m absolutely convinced Willis is willing to throw her under the bus like that for the sake of Robin staying in the strip and having more to do.

          2. Becky sabotaged her REPUBLICAN campaign by, as a specific plot point, talking just like her but being a liberal (I assume) on twitter. If Robin were about to see the light, wouldn’t Becky make the PERFECT other person in her campaign? Someone who manages her tweets, speaks in her voice, and isn’t a moron that Dorothy has to constantly monitor. Plus, you get the additional warm and fuzzies of Becky quickly rising up in life after her tragedy and making a name for herself in her own quirky way. Again, all you have to do is ignore that for the foreseeable future you’ll have two people who talk pretty much identically in close proximity of one another in your strips, which has not been a problem for Willis before now (for some reason).

          3. There was really no reason for Becky and Joyce to be at her place, narrative-wise otherwise. Becky grabbed her phone and like the next strip, Robin was out. Willis brought together the “worlds” of the students and Robin for a reason. Also, if this DOESN’T happen… Robin’s story really ends here, or at least it should. If she goes on to be an independant or whatever she does after this point, it really doesn’t make sense for that story to intersect with this tale about college students. The only way to keep Robin active in the strip without being shoehorned in more than she already is, is to have other characters entwined in it.

          Not that I want any of this to happen, by the way. It would morph DOA from a funny slice of life comic to a full blown sitcom in strip form and assasinate the character of a couple of the strip’s strongest character purely to keep his awful pixie baby in the spotlight, but I can’t see this resolving any other way. I hope I’m wrong.

        7. Liliet

          I mean, Robin looks to be one of the main characters. She’s not a college student, true, but neither is Leslie. They are also ‘dumbing of age’ in their own ways.

          I really don’t think you are right about foreshadowing, that seems REALLY thin. Nor is it Willis’s style, are you are right to point out.

          Dorothy’s story looks like it’s heading towards a burnout and Dorothy wrestling with prioritization and learning to relax and let go. There is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY to fit any big political stuff in there, unless the point is that it ends with a spectacular failure.

          I could see Becky being hired for Robin’s campaign as like, a coffee maker and papers fetcher, except she’s got a job at Galasso’s which was this big point and I don’t think Willis will abandon it. She’s been building her life piece by piece, and I don’t think a big wacky political plot will fit in her arc either.

          The point of keeping Robin and Becky together for several strips was manyfold:
          – show more of Robin’s personality and how she reacts to ‘sob stories’, and also how she and Becky bounce off each other;
          – develop Leslie’s arc of flailing around and having no clue what she’s doing re: Robin;
          – show off BECKY’s personality and how she solves problems. Which is not grabbing a phone and running with it, but hacking someone’s twitter and destroying their career, then handing the phone back to them all innocent-like ‘oh it looks like your party withdrew their support for you’.

    2. Kernanator

      Have you considered maybe getting a new hobby? You are a little wrapped up in hating this one specific character.

      1. NoOneLikesRobin

        I’ll be sure to vet any comments I make through you from now on. Let’s have a meeting later to discuss the proper amount of fawning I have to do in order to make another negative comment.

        But seriously, the reason I hate on this one specific character is that she’s the only bad part of the strip. Everything else is great. If you want me to comment on everything that’s not Robin, here it is: “Yes, good. Like it. More”. We good now?

        1. Kernanator

          I’m not saying you have to like Robin. I’m saying that when you reach a point when you’re giving yourself a username that is about how much you hate a specific character, that may be a sign that you are somewhat obsessed.

          Like, I don’t like Malaya. But I don’t name myself “MalayaSucks”.

    3. Pearl

      I like Robin.

  39. d m

    I remember that in the short packed universe, Robin had taken a combination of things that made her super focused and hyper aware of her surroundings, but caused temporary memory loss, which jeopardized her relationship with led lie. I wonder if this will lead up to a similar situation.

  40. chris73

    Very interesting comic this, the accusation is that Frieda is throwing some homophobia around but I’m guessing that if you replaced Joe with Leslie then she’d have said something along the lines of “stuffing your face with little joe” (or something) so less homophobia and more bluntness about the situation

    I can understand why Frieda is so angry about all this, shes probably had to put up with robins hi jinx for a while, has probably had to swallow what she really thinks for the sake of her job and/or political aspirations and now after all her work she still gets canned, yeah in her position I’d be pretty pissed as well

    I mean shes still wrong and has been shilling for a really nasty person but I can see why she herself feels shes been wronged

    But yeah an interesting and good comic

    1. BBCC

      Frieda met Robin three days ago. She’s not been putting up with her for a significant length of time (compared to, for example, Roz or Kyle or Whitney), and so is unlikely to have had to swallow anything other than what was related to the rally the other day.

      1. chris73

        Ask Leslie what a couple of hours with wacky Robin can feel like

        1. BBCC

          Yeah, it’d be annoying as hell, but it’s not a super long length of time, compared to folks who have to deal with her regularly.

  41. Delicious Taffy

    I’m actually really curious: What fucking point is there to Frieda contacting her lawyer? What’s she gonna do, sue Robin for firing her? On what grounds? I don’t think wrongful termination applies, in this case. Whatever, I bet she’s also a Manager Person, so fuck ‘er.

  42. Thulcandran

    What, no Ronnie in the tags? (That is Reagan on the wall, right?)

    1. BBCC

      He’s not in the tags, so I’d guess no. Especially this is for current campaigns and he’s long dead by now.

  43. J

    Oh, man – I could totally see Becky wanting to join forces. I don’t see Roz helping her sister out like this, though. Dorothy might, if Robin fully alters her stance on the things she’s been saying.

  44. Roborat

    So why does Robin dislike people who are Judge Advocate Generals?

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