I thought Monopoly is the game that ruins all relationships.(since 1904)
Doctor_Who
Someday that game is going to start a literal war.
Dean
Monopoly is a game about the inequities of capitalism, it’s not MEANT to promote peaceful coexistence.
Disloyal Subject
Cards Against Humanity doesn’t ruin relationships with conflict; it just shines the harsh light of day on us all.
EdHead
Cards Against Humanity: A game about the worst people.
Needfuldoer
The worse you are, the better you are.
Doomprix
until your hitler and then your doomed.
altalemur
i once used an abortion card in Cards Against Humanity against a friend who had had a miscarriage a few months prior, by accident. it kinda ruined the evening.
Captain Button
It taught a group I was in what “Heteronormativity” was. None of us knew.
Chris
Diplomacy, Settlers of Catan, Civilization: games that ruin friendships/relationships… Monopoly: not so much.
EvilMidnightLurker
Once you’ve mentioned Diplomacy, there’s really no need to cite any other game. They’re all less ruiny by at least an order of magnitude.
Disloyal Subject
I really need to get my hands on a copy of that game.
yomi
I don’t know. I was mostly warned of Junta.
Ed Rhodes
Uno. I will say this until my dying day.
Never EVER play Uno sitting next to someone you care about. One of you will try to kill the other one before the game is over!
Rutee
Ehhhh, Settlers never affected relationships that I’ve seen, and these weren’t antagonistic relationships to start with.
Thanks for the shout out. I’m always looking for more phrases and patterns for the pack. Anyone who wants to add on to it can just reply here and I’ll put it in. 😀
‘Cause we’re the RAs who don’t do anything
We just stay home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything,
We’ll just tell you:
“Let’s get drunk and contemplate death instead”.
Meanwhile, Ruth finds out what Mary did to Carla and kicks her out of her room. Mary’s new room turns out to be located next to the previously unmentioned Outdoor University Roller derby training rink.
No, no, she “assigned Mary a new room, away from the disruption.” Make it look good on paper so the higher-ups will be irritated if Mary complains again.
Spencer
Would Mary be the one who gets reprimanded from that?
There’s a line!? (Like Ruth, I’ve considered optimism and delusion to be the same for a long time now. I also won’t say certain things so the universe won’t “correct” me.)
I was spending a lot of time hanging out in our campus radio station when the Wayne’s World movie came out. We [i]constantly[/i] had townies calling in to request Bohemian Rhapsody, to the point that we’d gotten an “only one Bohemian Rhapsody per show” exception instituted to the station’s “you have to play all requests that are in the library and don’t violate FCC content regulations” rule.
Well, one night, we got a guy who kept calling in and wouldn’t take, “Dude, we just played it like twenty minutes ago,” for an answer. Finally, he called us up and was all, “Come on, man, I just want to hear Bohemian Rhapsody real quick,” and my friend, who was DJing, went, “Sure, okay, fine. Here it comes.” And she cued up the (33-1/3 RPM) record (yeah, we used actual records back then) with the turntable cranked up to 78 RPM and the pitch slider all the way up to squeeze a couple more RPM out of it. And we played him Bohemian Rhapsody real quick. It’s like Alvin and the Chipmunks do thrash metal at that speed.
He didn’t call us back.
Bicycle Bill
Epic example of “be careful what you ask for; you just might get it.”
Mada
Why does Princes of the Universe seem like the sort of song that Walky would sing while standing on a dining hall table?
Spencer
Walky strikes me as the kind of person who’d sing an off key version of “Don’t Stop Me Now” in the shower, forgetting half the lyrics.
Awww you’ve never felt this way about someone before? <3
But also um you thought this was an actual suicide pact? No no no no no love no this cannot end with your death stay alive being alive is good. I made the choice to stay alive and it's been a pretty choice tbh.
I feel bad for Billie though. She needs to understand that her worth is not tied to if someone is "fixed" or not. I think that's what she feels helping does. But helping doesn't always fix. And that's okay.
It sucks when you’re so depressed that you think you can’t be helped, that there’s something inherently broken in you that all the medication and therapy in the world won’t heal.
Pro-tip – ‘Maybe I’m not really depressed. Maybe I just don’t have the capacity to keep happiness from leaking away or be loved.’ is not a thought non-depressed people usually have.
133 thoughts on “Crapshoot”
Ana Chronistic
“I’ll fill YOUR blanks…”
“that’s what
sheyou said”Ana Chronistic
“and stop looking so cute and fuckable, dammit”
Captain Button
Fill in the blanks? Ruth, Cards Against Humanity is a great game, but for relationship advice, not so much.
Captain Button
Link is from ninja_jesus yesterday.
inqntrol
I thought Monopoly is the game that ruins all relationships.(since 1904)
Doctor_Who
Someday that game is going to start a literal war.
Dean
Monopoly is a game about the inequities of capitalism, it’s not MEANT to promote peaceful coexistence.
Disloyal Subject
Cards Against Humanity doesn’t ruin relationships with conflict; it just shines the harsh light of day on us all.
EdHead
Cards Against Humanity: A game about the worst people.
Needfuldoer
The worse you are, the better you are.
Doomprix
until your hitler and then your doomed.
altalemur
i once used an abortion card in Cards Against Humanity against a friend who had had a miscarriage a few months prior, by accident. it kinda ruined the evening.
Captain Button
It taught a group I was in what “Heteronormativity” was. None of us knew.
Chris
Diplomacy, Settlers of Catan, Civilization: games that ruin friendships/relationships… Monopoly: not so much.
EvilMidnightLurker
Once you’ve mentioned Diplomacy, there’s really no need to cite any other game. They’re all less ruiny by at least an order of magnitude.
Disloyal Subject
I really need to get my hands on a copy of that game.
yomi
I don’t know. I was mostly warned of Junta.
Ed Rhodes
Uno. I will say this until my dying day.
Never EVER play Uno sitting next to someone you care about. One of you will try to kill the other one before the game is over!
Rutee
Ehhhh, Settlers never affected relationships that I’ve seen, and these weren’t antagonistic relationships to start with.
ninja_jesus
Thanks for the shout out. I’m always looking for more phrases and patterns for the pack. Anyone who wants to add on to it can just reply here and I’ll put it in. 😀
Betty Anne
What do you mean? It can be great relationship advice, especially for lesbians. :p
PrincessPaladin
Appropriate avatar. One of my first lez crushes. 😮
dmaxx
Well, strictly speaking, she is also a he and thus he/she can be gay to everyone:-P
Mr. Random
… Done the drunken two lady naked tango?
bearfuz
There’s hope. It’s pretty damn small, but it’s there.
Mr.J
I’ve never…pooped outside my own home.
Leorale
I’ve never… felt hope to not die?
Yet_One_More_Idiot
I’ve never…actually cared about someone else before you.
Adj
This one, please.
DarkoNeko
…felt like this before.
a snow ʍousɐ
I swear, it’s the truth. And I owe it all to you.
a snow ʍousɐ
(oh, wait. That’s “this way”)
Leorale
conversely, I’ve never actually attempted suicide yet?
Not sure which one would scare Ruth more.
Leorale
–oh! She said “stupidly sappy” not “stupidly scary”. I read that wrong and it’s a very different comic.
Doctor_Who
No wonder she’s so cranky. She has to sprint back to Canada at least once a day.
Dana
I don’t know. Have we ever seen Ruth eat?
brionl
I’ve never…
Swum the English Channel
a snow ʍousɐ
swum is a nice word
Wublub
‘Cause we’re the RAs who don’t do anything
We just stay home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything,
We’ll just tell you:
“Let’s get drunk and contemplate death instead”.
Huh. Not as catchy as the Veggie Tales version.
Disloyal Subject
I’ve never… played an elf.
Captain Button
I’ve never … slept with Mike’s mother.
ozzi
*drinks*
Leorale
I’m glad Billie picked up what Ruth was dropping, there. She’s a sensitive listener.
Fish Facade
I’ve never… worn a ponytail before. Until today. *deep gaze*
tim gueguen
Isn’t it obvious, Billie? Ruth never had sex with a half Chinese person before she met you.
Dean
She’s had sex with half of a Chinese person, but that’s not the same thing.
David
Well, it’s definitely less awkward if the other half is still attached.
Kraken
The Ruth equivalent of a Gershwin romantic musical number.
Uniqueantique
“….tried suicide”. ?
Mada
So Billie helps Joyce, who in turn rediscovers her joy and optimism, and that bounces back, hits Billie, and Billie saves Ruth.
Joyce finds a nice young man to be with, and Billie and Ruth live out long years together fucking like angry honeybadgers on a regular basis.
I know the line between optimism and delusion is thin with me, but I don’t care 🙂
DaveM
Meanwhile, Ruth finds out what Mary did to Carla and kicks her out of her room. Mary’s new room turns out to be located next to the previously unmentioned Outdoor University Roller derby training rink.
Disloyal Subject
No, no, she “assigned Mary a new room, away from the disruption.” Make it look good on paper so the higher-ups will be irritated if Mary complains again.
Spencer
Would Mary be the one who gets reprimanded from that?
TamiDOA
There’s a line!? (Like Ruth, I’ve considered optimism and delusion to be the same for a long time now. I also won’t say certain things so the universe won’t “correct” me.)
HMRC4EVR
Your delusion power would have made you a great Akibranger.
Stephen R. Bierce
*just sets a pile of Queen songs on the Muzak turntable, hits PLAY, and walks away*
Lord Stoneheart
(Checks Queen playlist to make sure “Who Wants To Live Forever” isn’t on there. Places “Breakthru” on it)
Needfuldoer
You’re going to leave “Keep Yourself Alive” in there?
Xenocide
Also “Don’t Try Suicide”?
HMRC4EVR
Princes of the Universe would be nice. Just no B.R. It’s way overplayed
John
I was spending a lot of time hanging out in our campus radio station when the Wayne’s World movie came out. We [i]constantly[/i] had townies calling in to request Bohemian Rhapsody, to the point that we’d gotten an “only one Bohemian Rhapsody per show” exception instituted to the station’s “you have to play all requests that are in the library and don’t violate FCC content regulations” rule.
Well, one night, we got a guy who kept calling in and wouldn’t take, “Dude, we just played it like twenty minutes ago,” for an answer. Finally, he called us up and was all, “Come on, man, I just want to hear Bohemian Rhapsody real quick,” and my friend, who was DJing, went, “Sure, okay, fine. Here it comes.” And she cued up the (33-1/3 RPM) record (yeah, we used actual records back then) with the turntable cranked up to 78 RPM and the pitch slider all the way up to squeeze a couple more RPM out of it. And we played him Bohemian Rhapsody real quick. It’s like Alvin and the Chipmunks do thrash metal at that speed.
He didn’t call us back.
Bicycle Bill
Epic example of “be careful what you ask for; you just might get it.”
Mada
Why does Princes of the Universe seem like the sort of song that Walky would sing while standing on a dining hall table?
Spencer
Walky strikes me as the kind of person who’d sing an off key version of “Don’t Stop Me Now” in the shower, forgetting half the lyrics.
Bicycle Bill
“Suicide is Painless” by Johnny Mandel.
Rukduk
Yay!!! I have hope again!!!…until tomorrow when Willis crushes it like the master emotion manipulator he is.
Chris driggers
I am uplifted by this one.
jepmz
Awwww
Merry Christmas, Willis 🙂
Emma
Awww you’ve never felt this way about someone before? <3
But also um you thought this was an actual suicide pact? No no no no no love no this cannot end with your death stay alive being alive is good. I made the choice to stay alive and it's been a pretty choice tbh.
I feel bad for Billie though. She needs to understand that her worth is not tied to if someone is "fixed" or not. I think that's what she feels helping does. But helping doesn't always fix. And that's okay.
Yet_One_More_Idiot
Puts Stayin’ Alive on the record player and presses play.
Petra
It sucks when you’re so depressed that you think you can’t be helped, that there’s something inherently broken in you that all the medication and therapy in the world won’t heal.
Petra
Pro-tip – ‘Maybe I’m not really depressed. Maybe I just don’t have the capacity to keep happiness from leaking away or be loved.’ is not a thought non-depressed people usually have.
a snow ʍousɐ