Cross country
Posted on May 23, 2020 by David M Willis

164 thoughts on “Cross country”

  1. OtterBoy1

    PJ Party!

  2. Mehe

    Oh god I’m hyperventilating over here.

    1. Yumi

      >Me, refreshing the page every ten seconds after midnight

      1. clif

        And now you have to do it for another 24 hours.

  3. Giguioto

    She still has the wheels, I presume

    1. inqntrol

      Amazi-Girl Chase 2.0

      1. Twitcher

        That does irritate me a bit, but Ross’ and Blaine’s IQ does only differ by about five points, so great morons seem to think alike. I doubt Amber will make it this time, so it’s all up to Joyce and Faz now. Why would Faz help his dad murder a guy, though? Just what has he been told, and what does Blaine think he can pull off by bringing Faz along? Is Faz a convienient patsy?

    2. King Daniel

      Sal has pointed out before that she’s faster on foot than Amazi-Girl is on her “babyskates”; unless Amber/AG somehow makes the throw, she’s not catching up either.

      1. NelC

        It’s a wide-angle lens on those frames, Willis is pushing focus to make it look like the van is further away than it really is.

        1. King Daniel

          I didn’t say she couldn’t make the throw at all; I just pointed out to the person above me (who was presumably referring to the wheels built into AG’s boots) that if the throw failed, then she’s not going to be able to catch up to the van.

      2. Coren

        I think the point isn’t could she catch up on wheels but rather, can she skate after it if she makes the throw?

      3. threePwny

        But the context of Sal’s comment was specifically going uphill. To anyone who skates or bikes, it’s well known that runners are advantaged on uphill slopes, losing far less speed and wasting far less energy than wheeled vehicles. On what appears here to be a flat surface, Sal’s comment probably isn’t applicable

        1. King Daniel

          Amber still isn’t going to be able to catch up to a speeding van on skates. That was the actual point of that bit.

    3. Bicycle Bill

      The back of that van looked pretty smooth; not much of anything for the hook to catch on to.

    4. Ron again

      I thought it was Walky throwing

      1. Ron again

        Nevermind, he’s not even holding the hook a few panels earlier.

        1. Pylgrim

          His hands are mostly conveniently hidden in both panels. Also check his changing expression, from anguish in panel 4 to determination in panel 6. (For contrast, Dorothy’s expression became more hopeless as the van speeded away).

    5. Pylgrim

      It’s not Amazi-Girl, she’s gone and I don’t think Amber has the psychological bandwidth right now to summon her. Check the progression of Walky’s movement in panels 4 and 6.

      Every Robin is destined to become Nightwing.

      1. Keith Curtis

        Amber is tagged, so that’s presumably her grappling hook.

  4. Chris

    Looks like it’s a bit out of range.

    1. clif

      And a little late.

      1. Roborat

        And nothing for the grapple to catch onto.

  5. Sirksome

    (Insert JL Batman “I need a longer grapple” clip here)

  6. Kravis

    It’s been a long road…

    1. Xenocide

      Getting from there to here?

      1. Keulen

        It’s been a long time, but my time is finally near

  7. Queen Anthai

    AMBER ALERT

    1. saltchocolate

      Best comment.

    2. Hex Hornet

      Nice one!

  8. saltchocolate

    Feels!!!!!!!!!

  9. Hex Hornet

    I always wondered why people felt the need to run after speeding vehicles in action/thriller movies. Without superpowers, that way lies disappointment.
    Even if that grapple catches it, someone’s in for SERIOUS Road Rash!
    MINIMUM!

    1. HeatherJean

      Really, I was thinking the same thing earlier: tonight’s Magnum reboot rerun has pretty much that, although there was a helicopter watching from above. So, in about 5 minutes from now, on KPIX, the new Magnum will be running after a white (I think) van with kidnappees inside.

      Why are they always white?

      1. Delicious Taffy

        Cheaper insurance, logo legibility, easier to hide in a parking lot.

        1. Ron again

          Wait what, cheaper insurance?

        2. Ray Radlein

          As long as you are not in a fog-prone area, white vehicles are hit less often than other colors, presumably due to increased visibility

        3. hof1991

          Upper Midwest. White cars are the color of snow. I’ve seen government agencies insisting on any color but white.

      2. Opus the Poet

        Other colors cost extra. Or at least they used to a couple of decades ago when my then employer was buying new vans.

        1. CJ

          Probably, other colors get more expensive paint jobs and induce more people to vandalism.

        2. Needfuldoer

          A lot of white commercial vans get a full graphic wrap (or at least lettering) put on before they’re put into service, too.

        3. Roborat

          Also, white vehicles are easier to sell used.

    2. Eldritchy

      Instinct maybe? If it’s running, chase it. Our ancestors were apparently good at persistent hunting where they slowly chased prey to death of exhaustion.

    3. Jamie

      The future commander-in-chief told them to run.

  10. Dean

    ROAD TRIP!

  11. LadyCaramel

    Wait…does Amazi-girl have some wheels? We having another chase?

    1. Stephen Bierce

      A long time ago I lobbied for her to have a competition-type go-kart so she could match Sal’s Honda motorcycle, but alas, it didn’t catch on.

      1. ValdVin

        Sal has a Honda? I thought the only known of it was that it had a Rutten company engine.

        1. Needfuldoer

          Right, it’s a Ruttech-powered generic sport bike. Probably similar to real-world 600cc Japanese bikes like the Yamaha YZF-R6, Honda CBR600RR, Kawakaki Ninja 650, or GSX-R600.

    2. Reltzik

      She has rollerskates in her boots.

  12. Stephen Bierce

    *plays “Chevy Van” on…

    …wait a minute.

    1. Bicycle Bill

      Interesting bit of trivia … the song “Chevy Van” was used in a 1977 movie called “The Van”.  The van in the movie was a Dodge….

      1. Delicious Taffy

        They’re basically the same thing.

        1. Bicycle Bill

          Try complimenting your blue-eyed girlfriend about her brown eyes and then try to tell HER it’s basically the same thing.  Go ahead, I dare you.

        2. Delicious Taffy

          Joke’s on you, her eyes are hazel with a little bit of blue.

      2. Needfuldoer

        If Blaine’s van had a big airbrush mural of a wizard fighting a dragon on the side, it would be a hell of a lot easier to pick out of a crowd.

        https://vimeo.com/40393795

  13. Juanoku

    GRAPPLING HOOK bongo
    TIME TO SPIDER-MAN THIS MOTHERFUCKER

  14. Newllend(henryvolt)

    Walky really put in effort into that sprint if he managed to out pace everyone and catch up to Dorothy the former track star.

    1. King Daniel

      Dorothy was cross-country, not track and field (that was Amber/Amazi-Girl).

      1. Tadpole7

        A lot of cross country runners did track as well. We rarely beat the sprinters but we could leave most non runners in the dust.

        1. Xenocide

          And we know Dorothy wakes up early to run every day, whilst Walky avoids exercise.
          If he can keep up with her like that then his natural ability is impressive!

        2. coma

          I thought the same. I mean, he slumps around most days and eats completely unhealthy food and somehow still has a flat muscly stomach. His metabolism has to be quite fast

      2. ValdVin

        I’m fascinated that the 5’2″ Amazi-Girl shows prowess which suggests she ran hurdles in school here.

  15. Saucy Jack

    Is it just me, or does it seem like that grappling hook *absolutely* is not going to reach the van, given its speed?

    1. Chris

      Not just you.

    2. Reltzik

      Not just you… but maybe we’ve got a really distorted camera zoom going on for, I dunno, drama.

    3. Bicycle Bill

      Somewhere along the line, Amazi-Girl got her hands on an army surplus grappling-hook gun, like what was used to shoot the ropes up the cliffs of the Normandy beaches on D-day.

  16. King Daniel

    The hovertext in today’s strip is a reference to this: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/04-time-keeps-on-slippin/crosscountry/

    Both comics share the same name, by the by.

    1. abacuswizard

      Well spotted!

  17. Corsair114

    The Amazi-Girl Guide to Dislocating Both Arms:

    Step 1: See the last panel.

  18. Chris

    We’re assuming that it’s Amber with the grappling hook, but looking again, it just might be Walky…

    1. King Daniel

      Amber’s not otherwise visible, but she’s tagged; odds are it’s her, then.

      1. Ron again

        I also thought it was Walky from the way he’s in that 5th? 7th? Panel. Did not check until just now. Maybe we’re supposed to think it’s amber and the tag will disappear in a day or two or two.

    2. Reltzik

      I thought so to, but it’s most likely Amber/AG. The grappling hook gets kept with the costume, Amber/AG went back to the dorms for the costume, and the grappling hook hasn’t been produced since. When would Walky have gotten his hands on it?

      1. Roborat

        So she has hammerspace storage, Like Susan? There is no way she is storing a grappling hook that large, and that much rope, in one of those pouches.

  19. Axel

    if that hits, whoever’s throwing it should be a pitcher

    1. HeySo

      I mean, if she was capable of being a pitcher, her and Ethan probably wouldn’t have broken up?

      Ooooohhhh, you mean BASEBALL. Wow, first time I heard someone bring up baseball as something other than a euphamism. Uhm, okay, no, see, that’s still an issue, though. Noone outside of Japan cares about baseball, so as someone not from Japan I may be wrong about this, but I’m pretty sure throwing grappling hooks at the batter is a *huge* no-no.

      1. Yumi

        I cared about baseball once, a few years ago.

        1. Axel

          I can’t bring myself to care about baseball, but that is a very hard, fast, far, and accurate throw (if it works), and I only know the one sport/job that it might be good for

        2. Geneseepaws

          106 years but the Cubbies Did it!
          Go Cubs!

      2. Axel

        yeah I was thinking about the sport kind of balls

    2. Reltzik

      “Amazi-Girl, I’m sorry, but the club has to let you go.”

      “But why? I’m the most accurate pitcher this club’s ever had!”

      “Because you keep walking the batters! Every time! You haven’t gone a single inning without the umpire ejecting you!”

    3. abacuswizard

      Does Track & Field include grappling hook toss?

  20. Madock345

    I think that’s Walky and I’m sooo proud of him if it is. Hell, I’m proud of him anyway, just for pure speed outrunning everyone else lol.

    1. Sirksome

      It’s not Walky. Amber is tagged despite her body not being in any panel so that’s her grappling hook.

  21. Suet

    Even if she had a headstart, Dorothy is pretty speedy.
    Extremely poor choice for one of Sarah’s slippers to come off.

    And that grappling hook looks too short, what with the ever-rounding horizon and all.

    1. NelC

      Nah, the curve shows that it’s a wide-angle lens, so the van is closer than it looks.

  22. pdp15

    The tunnel vision perspective is interesting.

    1. clif

      Ninja’d. I was hoping that it was an artifact of the pursuers speed, but I think that’s just wishful thinking.

  23. clif

    That’s some interesting perspective in the last panel.

    1. King Daniel

      Plot twist: it’s not actually a perspective thing, Blaine’s just driving down into a dry culvert.

      1. clif

        That’s a thought. Though the road bends gradually as the chase progresses.

    2. Roborat

      Willis is messing with the flat earthers.

  24. FacelessDeviant

    This strip is excellently done. Really good composition. I can almost hear soundtrack the first fade then hit in the last panel.

  25. Sirksome

    Okay I’m gonna put my sleuthing hat on and say that the van is too far away and the grappling hook won’t land, but I think Amber has another way to chase after them.

    My main reasoning is that she arrived back at the hostage house way earlier than Becky did despite them probably leaving around the same time. If anything Becky should’ve gotten their first I as imagine it would take Amber longer to get her gear than it would take Becky to schedule a tweet.

    What I’m saying is that maybe Amber didn’t walk back to the hostage house. Just a theory though.

    1. Bunny

      Exactly! Sal and her bike!

    2. clif

      We can hope.

    3. Opus the Poet

      Becky had to stop and compose then schedule a tweet on a really cheap phone. That would take a few minutes.

    4. Mark

      A film theory! (Sorry)

    5. Roborat

      Or she put a tracking device on the van?

  26. Bunny

    Sal, Ruth, and Billie are still out there. And Sal still has a motorcycle. Ruth has a clue what’s going on because she ran into AmberGirl.

  27. Megan Rivera

    Damn! Walky runs FAST! Someone get him on the soccer team!

  28. Rikunda

    It says Amber in the tags (yet you don’t see her). I wonder if that is a hint to which personality is in control. It looks like Walky threw the grapple!

    1. King Daniel

      Amber not being otherwise visible would indicate that she was the one who threw the grapple.

    2. Ron again

      I just noticed walky. Is not holding a grappling hook in panel 3, so unless he conjured it out of somewhere, Amber threw it.

  29. TomHCinMI

    Amazi-Girl or Sal?

  30. Dr T

    Apparently Walky can haul ass if he is properly motivated. He had trouble chasing Joyce and AmaziGirl in the past, but look at him go!

    1. Mark

      Or he started running first and had a head start

      1. Dr T

        You can see in 3 separate panels that the opposite happens. He started well behind everyone else and passes them all.

  31. Undrave

    Oh shit, Mabel Pines is here guys!

    1. vlademir1

      You sure it’s not Webby Vanderquack?

    2. MatthewTheLucky

      GRAPPELING HOOK!

  32. Rani

    Bullshit if that hook lands.

    1. King Daniel

      Cue Blaine crashing the van into a herd of cattle. Stinky cattle.

  33. Rabid Rabbit

    Huh. So Faz is tagged today, presumably because he’s in the van along with Blaine and Joyce, but he’s not tagged yesterday. Curiouser and curiouser… (And we’re seeing the same sides of the van as yesterday, so that’s not it.)

    1. Some1

      Willis has forgotten to tag Faz so many times at this point he’s probably just assuming that he forgot again.

      1. Segnosaur

        And we wonder why he is always so eager for attention.

  34. jeffepp

    Uh, guys, remember that Joyce can teleport. This has come up before.

    1. King Daniel

      Only in comedic situations.

    2. clif

      Only if there’s a lizard on her head.

  35. Lumino

    So if the Van is speeding away fast enough that sprinting people are rapidly losing ground (and the van is gaining speed, since I hardly think Blaine is going to pump the brake) and Amber attaches a grappling hook to it while she is moving at human speeds…

    She’s going to Gwen Stacy herself.

  36. Bagge

    amazi-girl is immune to critisism.

  37. abysswatcher1993

    This strip is really depressing because it shows that the bad guy can win… which is something that happens in real life… If something bad happens to Joyce I am going to be really be pissed.

    Also, Walky is surely running fast if he can keep up with Dorothy.

    1. Mehe

      Look man, if something bad happens to Joyce I’m gonna crawl in this comic Cool World style and beat Blaine’s ass myself.

  38. Some1

    Plot twist: Blaine kills Joyce and gets away scot-free. Hank becomes the new protagonist and the entire comic turns into a gritty revenge story.

    1. CorporateDronesDontHaveMissiles

      I’d read that spinoff

  39. BBCC

    Oh dear.

  40. NinjaNick

    What the hook is that?

  41. zellgato

    Walkerton. The hell did you get a grappling hook from?
    you’re gonna die. and sal’s gonna murder him

  42. sundriedrainbow

    They couldn’t outrun him six feet to the van on foot, while he tossed joyce into the back and then went around to the front, got in, put the key in the ignition, closed the door, and drove away

    But yeah, they’re totally gonna keep up on foot and throw a grappling hook with their hands and catch him.

    1. Mark

      I’m just waiting for someone to say its the adrenaline…

    2. Needfuldoer

      Desperation. What other options do they have left, but to keep the van in sight as long as possible?

      1. Mark

        Memorising the licence plate followed by calling the cops and letting them know whats happening

  43. CJ

    I‘m astonished Walky keeps up. He never exercises.

    Is that Sal coming on scene with the grappling-hook?

    1. Mark

      Hes 18, its probably around 100 meters at most, hes not physically disabled and hes not carrying any extra weight so not sure it could be classified as astonishing…

      1. Eldritchy

        Also, ADRENALINE!

        1. SillyGoose

          I was hoping someone would say that in answer to *any* comment of Mark’s.

        2. Mark

          Yeah i forgot that

        3. woobie

          ADRENALINE!
          also longer legs. Walky would fall behind soon, though.

        4. Mark

          Yep he’ll be gassing soon

  44. Ray Radlein

    PLOT TWIST: Dina is already in the back of the van, unnoticed

    1. coma

      I SO hope this is true.
      Or, it’s Faz, and he helps Joyce.

      1. Sunny

        Gonna be this. It was already foreshadowed when Faz behaved himself in Tree Square (or whatever that place Billie lives in now is called) after Joyce asked him to.

    2. Bicycle Bill

      Sorry to disappoint you, but she was standing behind Dorothy in yesterday’s strip.  No realistic way she could have gotten into the van unseen.

      However, it’s DINA, not Joyce, who seems to be the one with teleportation skills, so maybe she is still in there after all?

    3. Chris

      No, she isn’t there yet, but she will be when someone opens the door.

  45. Nono

    I’m assuming someone is at least trying to remember the license plate number.

    1. DarkoNeko

      Becky “one of youu pass me a phone, I have a tweeter update ta make”

  46. AGV

    YouTried.gif

    1. Needfuldoer

      ThereWasAnAttempt.bmp

  47. Keulen

    The hook looks like it’s gonna miss, or the line won’t be long enough, but you never know.

    1. Kintrex

      That hook is absolutely heading to a landing point halfway between them and the van, and even if it reached the van, the person holding it would have their arms ripped off… But Amber’s defied the laws of physics before.

  48. Bobcat

    At this point, I’m now expecting Sal in her motorbike to show up and save the day.

  49. DarkoNeko

    …I only just noticed Dotty also has Head Alien pajama www

  50. jufreire

    I don’t remember it precisely but I swear to God someone called this yesterday. Pretty funny to read this last few trips with images of Book 10 “now let’s go commit something mildly subversive that doesn’t challenge authorities” oh my how things have changed.

  51. TheFlamingonator

    *Mabel Pines voice* GRAPPLING HOOK!

  52. Van Jealous

    “Track and Field”……well…..IT IS a Sprinter Van he’s driving, after all.

  53. Needfuldoer

    Two takeaways:

    1. Damn, Walky’s fast. Dorothy did track and field in high school, but he’s passing her.

    2. This is another example of keeping the surprises near the edges of the strip, so they don’t show up in Patreon’s automatically generated blurry previews. If you go back and look at yesterday’s, you can kind of tell the van’s driving away and we keep cutting back to Dorothy’s face. The last panel with the grappling hook is completely cropped out. Nicely done!

    1. Sam

      Dorothy did Cross Country, it was Amber that was Track and Field. It’s likely adrenaline fueled. Walky’s legs probably gonna hurt a lot later as he has not been shown to be this fast under normal circumstances.

  54. Rabisch

    Yep. That was definitely the last time they see Joyce. And Blaine. And Faz.

  55. Allan

    What no one seems to be remembering here, while she was having a panic attack yes, Joyce was still untied, and she was in a real fighty mood before that happened. Something tells me that van isn’t going straight for very long

    1. Eldritchy

      Time good old big ball of violence

      1. Eldritchy

        Darn… Time For

        1. Reltzik

          Still works. *starts the stopwatch*

    2. Bagge

      *Blaine opens door*
      *Blaine flies three meters bakwards*
      *Faz craps his pants*

  56. Sombrero

    The Van Vanishes

  57. Bathymetheus

    All that grappling hook needs to do is contact one of the tires. After that, Blaine is going neither far nor fast.

    This would also be safer for Amber, since she can let go of the tether.

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