182

Curating
Posted on October 22, 2024 by David M Willis

182 thoughts on “Curating”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “are you making me a chaperone”

    1. Clif

      Is that what we’re calling it now?

    2. Rose by Any other Name

      *Dorothy and Joyce show up at Joe’s room*
      Dorothy in a very flat voice: “Joe. Joyce would like me to inform you that she consents to have oral and vaginal sex with you in either missionary or cowgirl, with other positions to follow on a case by case basis.”
      Joe, afraid: “But… what if she changes her mind.”
      Joyce: “I won’t -”
      *Dorothy holds up her hand.*
      Dorothy, professional: “I will, of course, remain with my client. Should she wish to withdraw any portion of her consent, she will run that request through me.”
      *Joyce nods enthusiastically*

      1. True Survivor

        But what is on Dorothy’s business card here? Coitus Consultant? Lay Lawyer? Solicitor specializing in smashing?

        1. Tan

          Agent of Amor.

        2. Rolf of Many Doors

          Amatory Assistant

        3. jflb96

          Boinkage barrister

        4. CianM1301

          Member of the Bonetown Bar

        5. Lysbeth

          Coitus Interruptant?

        6. Michael Steamweed

          Solicitation Solicitor

        7. Michael Steamweed

          Railing Representative

        8. Shadowsnail

          Orgasm Ombudsperson

        9. Shadowsnail

          Intercourse Intermediary

        10. Casi

          Consent Counsel

        11. AlexanderHammil

          Intimacy Coordinator

        12. Vanessa

          For the other readers who may not know it, this is an actual Hollywood job, which is quite important for making sure the actors feel respected in the morning despite the pressures of auteur directors and their careers all being incredibly precarious. The best, hottest movies all have them now.

        13. Vanessa

          By the way, this list is fantastic!

        14. Rose by Any other Name

          I am just so proud of the wonderful list my comment spawned. **joyful tears in eyes**

        15. Taellosse

          Attorney at Smex.

        16. Ana Chronistic

          Delight Attendant

        17. lur

          intimacy coordinator

      2. Michael Steamweed

        Not originally exactly one of the fanfic dialogues that I’ve imagined, but it is now. 😀

    3. Throwatron

      this is the true punishment of being Mom Friend

    4. GholaHalleck

      “we got you this comfy chair just for you while Joe and I bang!”

  2. Pocky

    definitely want to be asking if pegging is on or off the table

    1. Nono

      Or on the bed, or against the wall, or on the laundry machine, or

      1. Needfuldoer

        That last one’s a given.

    2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Pegged tables are superior to nailed tables.

      1. Decidedly Orthogonal

        Also superior to screwed tables. Really the only tables superior to pegged are joined tables. Which should be obvious given that being joined – now – beats having been nailed, screwed, or pegged.

        1. Lysbeth

          You can be all four and that’s much better

        2. Gigafreak

          Be all four while ON all fours

    3. Dday

      They start out on the table and let things work from there.

      1. Pocky

        As long as they are not glass tables

        1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          I had a friend who sat on the glass panel in a coffee table and it broke under her. Despite our initial horror, she was not cut or otherwise injured, other than her dignity. Lucked out that time.

    4. Taellosse

      Y’know, given their size disparity, I think consent wouldn’t be the only obstacle…solving the purely logistical challenges of lining them up in the right configurations would be far from trivial…

  3. Jo_cubstar

    Gay :3

    1. jpnr

      me, innocently: it doesn’t get any gayer than this

  4. Sirksome

    Found the name of their pornagraphique.

    1. Rose by Any other Name

      I’m starting to wonder if we’re gonna get one with Joyce and Dorothy before Joyce and Joe. And how that might effect… well, basically everything.

      1. True Survivor

        I don’t think Joyce would ever cheat on Joe nor Dorothy on Walky. They are better than that.

        Also, what name Sirksome?

        1. Trixie Jubilation

          I think at this stage in her life Dorothy would, she’s been kinda going through a crisis of self and doing things she would generally consider immoral, including snatching her man back up as soon as he’s back on the market and kinda treating him like a sex object. Joyce… would struggle a lot more, I think, but she has also been… rejecting previous ideas of morality in ways that end up being harmful not just to others but to herself as well. So I don’t think it’s impossible for that kind of passionate mistake to occur.

          And just think about the juicy, juicy DRAMA!!! I don’t think Joyce and Dotty should end up together, but if they hooked up and it led to ALL of their relationships absolutely collapsing?? Walky leaving Dorothy feels like a when rather than an if, he needs a good enough reason but it’s obviously telegraphed as a key future moment for his character arc…. I think Joe would honestly try his best to forgive, but Joyce wouldn’t be able to forgive *herself*… and god, BECKY. Poor Becky…

        2. Sirksome

          “Let each other say yes.” Also Walky and Joe might be more okay with it if they’re there too.

    2. Opus the Poet

      The Joyce/Joe, or the Joyce/Dorothy pornographique?

      1. BarerMender

        If I could draw, I’d be drawing all kinds of fan art right now.

        1. Taffy

          Since when has that stopped anybody?

        2. Decidedly Orthogonal

          Unfortunately, having been stopped, those that did stop did not leave a record of what they did not do.

        3. Michael Steamweed

          Sheesh, if that ain’t the perfect epitaph for my fanfic-non-writing output.

        4. Mark

          Do it anyway. I always say: you have to go on creating bad stuff until you notice that it’s becoming rather good. Otherwise you don’t get to the good stuff.

        5. BarerMender

          Point.

  5. NGPZ

    love the lighting in the first three panels ^^

    also this is so damn gay, i love <3

    1. True Survivor

      That is very nice lighting.

    2. lia

      also isnt it nice how joyce steps in front of that light in the last panel 😮

    3. Mark

      I like the way the lighting is progressing. Very natural.

  6. Jammy

    Dorothy’s going to have to watch and give tips, huh?

    1. Nono

      But who’s receiving the tip, Joyce or Joe

      1. mneme

        Depending on whether it’s pegging on the table.

        1. Taffy

          Certainly the bed would be more comfortable?

      2. Michael Steamweed

        Joyce and Joe gonna be giving each other much more than just the tip.

  7. DailyBrad

    I love their dynamic, but I do not love how this is kind of putting Dorothy in a space she’s really trying to not be in, since even if Joyce is inviting it, it’s still making a friend a project.

    1. Doopyboop

      Agreed. Like I know with Joyce and the glasses and her birth control, she seemed to be getting to a point where she didn’t want people telling her what to do. Which, hey! That’s her right, take agency! But then we have situations like this, where Joyce is approaching Dorothy about a situation that should really involve Joe. Joyce and Dorothy are great friends, but I think in cases like this it starts to lean on the side of being a bit… unhealthy for them.

      1. Coatl

        Exactly, glasses and pills are one thing, but for Joyce to already take this confidence to these levels… hey Brown, calm down.
        Furthermore, Dorothy is aware that this issue is between Joyce and Joe.

      2. Derek

        “she seemed to be getting to a point where she didn’t want people telling her what to do”
        she wasn’t getting to that point, she WAS at that point, she directly told Dorothy to fuck off and stop trying to mother her and Dorothy ignored that and plowed right ahead in inserting her (explicitly unwanted) help.

        1. Doopyboop

          But see, you have Joyce saying “I don’t want your help” only to come to Dorothy literally only days later to say “okay I want your help deciding how my boyfriend should fuck me”. I can completely understand why Dorothy would feel some mixed messages there. That’s part of where their situation is becoming a little unhealthy.

        2. Big Z

          I feel one leads to the other — Dorothy pushing through Joyce’s “don’t want your help” and it turning out not terrible could easily have had the effect of Joyce having a major setback in her desire to self-determination — as shown in this comic, where she’s back to asking Dorothy about things instead of just taking a leap of faith.

        3. Username Taken

          I think it’s perfectly normal and healthy to say “I would like your help when I ask for it, not in situations where I’ve told you that it’s unwanted or in which I feel infantilized.” Joyce and Dorothy are navigating the boundaries in their relationship, and they seem to be mostly doing well as a result. I’m relieved about it honestly, because the Joyce-vs-condescending-advice arc was an exhausting read.

          Now whether it’s normal to ask your best friend for THIS? Well, maybe it’s normal for Joyce lol

        4. nicoleandmaggie

          Honestly, I feel like it’s more normal to get a group of people talking about it than just one-on-one … though to be fair I went to a boarding school for high school and late night all-girls conversations were pretty common. I don’t think we had as many conversations like that in college. (Oddly, in high school I was considered a prude and in college I was considered over-sexed. I did not change.)

        5. Nymph

          Yeah, it’s so weird for people to want something when they want it and not when they don’t.

          Crazy talk.

        6. Derek

          “only days later”? my sibling in Christ, it’s been several weeks if not months since Joyce was forced to fill out her birth control prescription even though she explicitly said she did not want help doing that.

          She’s made peace with it, probably because she values Dorothy’s friendship more than she values enforcing her boundaries. Joyce has let it go, but that doesn’t make Dorothy’s actions right.

        7. Doopyboop

          You know that in-comic, it’s only been like two weeks, maybe three tops since the new semester has started, right? I’d say it’s been maybe a week, a week and a half (which is, indeed, several days worth of time), but definitely not MONTHS.

        8. Doopyboop

          https://www.dumbingofage.com/2022/comic/book-13/01-bring-me-to-life-drawing/nonevent/ This is the strip where Joyce picks up her prescription. It is 8 chapters/books/storylines whatever you wanna call it before this current storyline. Each storyline tends to cover about, a day? Maybe two at the most? So unless there is a stated time skip, I’d say it has been 8 days. Maybe 9 days.

          Ergo, my sibling in Christ, it has indeed been days.

        9. Doopyboop

          Also, making peace with breaking down your own boundaries isn’t exactly the definition of HEALTHY, hence my continued point that this thing with Dorothy and Joyce isn’t HEALTHY but you know. Fuck me I guess.

      3. BorkBorkBork

        I have a sneaking suspicion that we’re seeing bits of Carol in Joyce.
        There’s this unspoken assumption that Joe will go along with whatever she wants. With drinking, with sex, with even defending her decisions to Becky.

        Joe isn’t involved here, not because this is Joyce deciding what she feels comfortable with and when; Joe isn’t involved here because whatever she decides, he’s *going* to be doing it, because he’s her boyfriend, and that’s his job. And he *will* be thrilled to do it.

        Joyce might be past the church in regards to faith, but every family dynamic and relationship she’s seen is still within that bubble. People outside the church only see one extreme of the spectrum – the “Wives, submit to your husbands” bit, where they see men as controlling abusers. The lesser known flipside, is the “Husbands, love your wives,” which talks about a self-sacrificial love that gives up *everything* for the wife, up to and including your life. Joyce has already talked about this at least once in the last decade of strips. The expectation that the gentleman will open doors, pull out chairs, pay for everything, spoil her with gifts, support her in every decision, defend her in all circumstances, and eventually work extra hard to support the both of them so she can stay in the home raising the kids.

        Hell, Hank and Carol are split because Hank wouldn’t back Carol, and she didn’t even check with him first before she expected him to be there. We become our parents, in all ways except the ways that we realize we passionately should not, and Joyce is only a few months liberated.

        1. Charlotte

          Good points. I’m somewhat worried about how Joyce is treating the relationship with Joe, too.

        2. thejeff

          In this case though, there are other things going on. There might be echoes of that fundie attitude here, but we’re talking about sex, so there’s first the baseline assumption that the guy is going to be more willing to do sex stuff and the woman will have to slow that down if she wants to. Even more though, in their particular case, she’s the sheltered virgin who has to figure out what she’s ready for while he’s known to have plenty of experience.
          It’s not really surprising she thinks he’ll be up for everything she’s ready for as soon as she’s willing.

        3. BorkBorkBork

          Agreed, and if it was just the sex stuff, I’d assume that.

          But things started smelling a little funny ever since Becky cornered Joyce about how she was hurt that Joyce didn’t include her on the first bar outing, and confronted by that, she shoved Joe ahead saying something like, “Here, you handle this, it’s your job.”

          And then when talking with her friends, she just says loudly to everyone that Joe *will* be doing “sex stuff” to her very soon. And while the assumption of sex could be filed under “he’s the experienced partner,” the assumption that Joe is OK with her talking in depth about their intimacy is ALSO stepping on him.

          Then there’s the entire assumption about drinking, where Joe literally tries to ask for them to do something else – anything else – and she tells him no, and then he feels he has to pretend to drink and be the one nondrinker at a college party, because she’s shut down his voice. And then she gets angry later at him because he didn’t do what she had decided he would do, and the fight is resolved by him agreeing to do the thing he didn’t want to do.

          A relationship should be a partnership of equals, and that’s not what it is here. If the roles were reversed, this would be misogyny. And this is more than just “Oh, she’s undiagnosed autistic.” That may be why she’s not noticing it in the moment right now, but the underlying assumptions weren’t put there by autism. These are internalized assumptions on gender roles within a relationship.

        4. Meagan

          Good distinction between how autism may affect unexamined assumptions, versus what the content of those assumptions are.

        5. Michael Steamweed

          As many have said in many ways, you can take the person out of the church / cult, but it’s slow going taking the church / cult out of the person.

          I think “I want Joe to do this stuff to me” is a remnant from Joyce’s conservative upbringing. Gonna take some deliberate effort to get from “to me” to “with me.”

      4. BassBone

        At some point we have to remember that they’re all around 18 years old here, and 18-year-olds are really, really dumb. Doing shit that’s unhealthy for them is just de rigeur.

        1. Doopyboop

          I was a very boring 18 year old. The most ‘unhealthy’ thing I ever did was drink too much soda and not get enough sleep.

        2. ValdVin

          As a college freshman who turned 19 before a semester passed,I remember Dorothy specifically is 19 now.

          And “effing horny”, as we learned in the same strip.

        3. Mark

          Must we?

        4. Michael Steamweed

          Gotta admit, I was quite the dumb at age 18. Hell, I think I got over the dumb around age 30. And tbh I ain’t too sure I’m really completely over the dumb. Still got me some of that adult-impostering syndrome stuff going on every now and then.

    2. Emperor Norton II

      Not sure I agree that Dorothy really doesn’t want to be in this position, because it’s… Complicated. Dorothy understands Joyce on a level practically nobody else does, and she has on several occasions initiated “project” situations, so at least to some degree, she does like helping Joyce becoming the best version of Joyce that she can be.

      1. Michael Steamweed

        I think Joyce is one strong reason why Dorothy turned down the Yale opportunity. Be that reason a mixture of strong friendship and sapphic attraction.

    3. cory

      I am kind of interested in the point where Joyce realizes that Joe has to consent to stuff to. Not that she’s a secret monster or anything, but I suspect her particular brand of religion went with the ‘boys ALWAYS want to have sex and it is on the girls to say no’. I think Joyce consciously realising that things are more complicated and that Joe has his own hang-ups around sex will be interesting.

      Especially since Joyce’s very organized approach could easily feed into his current self-image as some sort of toxic penis lure for good girls.

      1. thejeff

        It definitely will be interesting.
        And it’s not just the ‘boys ALWAYS want to have sex and it is on the girls to say no’ part, but Joe’s reputation and past as a horn dog. Of course he’ll consent. Why would she think otherwise?

        1. Astariel

          I’m quite worried that when Joe and Joyce finally talk to each other about this, Joe is going to say he’s not ready and Joyce will take that as “He’ll sleep with anyone, but not me,” and it’ll tank her self-esteem.

  8. HueSatLight

    Not sure I agree, Dorothy hasn’t learned to ask first, so I wouldn’t call that “let each other say yes”.

    1. Dday

      Hmmmmmm welllll ok you got a point. Dots didn’t exactly leave a lot of space for Joyce to say no to the laundry thing, just imperatively told her it was time for a lesson in public masturbation. Aaaand while we’re at it, Joyce basically emotionally blackmailed her into coming along for the drinking thing… It doesn’t really count as saying yes if you preclude conditions for saying no. man this is killin the mood

      1. Taffy

        Joyce had a ton of room to say no, don’t be ridiculous. And Joyce didn’t blackmail diddly squat out of Dorothy. There are plenty of ways to say “no” without answering a literal binary yes/no question, and you know that.

        1. Dday

          Ok we can say Dotty was being more strident and obnoxious than literally noncon about the laundry room but
          https://www.dumbingofage.com/2024/comic/book-14/03-trystin-in-the-wind/acollege/
          Maybe your take on this scene was different from mine, felt pretty bad to me…

        2. Taffy

          Mischief and shenanigans, and nobody got hurt.

        3. Ed Callahan

          Online comic strip mischief and shenanigans, to be specific.

    2. DashWallkick

      Dorothy is not comfortable not being in control of situations or showing vulnerability — she is kind of struggling to say “yes” and Joyce does help her with that.

  9. JA

    Oh god Joyce is going to ask her to sex Joe first so she can observe and take notes, isn’t she.

    1. Dday

      My money is on Dotty holding Joyce’s hand while Joe does things to her.

    2. Michael Steamweed

      Some fanfic of just this been going on for months now. 😀

  10. Icalasari

    “We’ve learned how to LET each other say yes”

    Why does it feel like alarm bells are blaring? Something about that statement makes me go, “NNNNNNOPE”

    1. JD

      this is the real toxic college lesbian situationship they warn you about in television

      1. AlexaSpuds

        I’ve missed this dynamic so much, I’ve been yearning for more of it ever since the Billie and Ruth break up (even if their relationship did improve before the timeskip)

    2. Taffy

      What could the problem possibly be?

      1. Nono

        Codependency?

        1. Throwatron

          That’s probably the gut reaction a lot of people are having. Which, yeah, it’s not entirely wrong.

        2. Taffy

          Bit dramatic, innit.

        3. Jeremiah

          This comment section? Being overdramatic about characters having imperfect interactions and personalities? Pfft, surely you jest.

        4. Dday

          Flashing back the “THEY’RE CODEPENDENT!” scene from Rick and Morty…

    3. Coatl

      Joyce has become too confident and if that continues in the long term… yep, it won’t be rewarding at all.

    4. Dday

      I’m honestly still trying to untangle what the hell that line even means

      1. DashWallkick

        Dorothy and Joyce both have issues with acceptance of a lack of control.

        Joyce has trouble accepting her urges and desires and wishes are human and normal and wants to smother them. Dorothy has trouble accepting powerlessness in life and keeps pushing herself to control more factors.

        When she says “let each other say yes” they’re talking about surrendering power to things they want to do but are scared.

        1. Michael Steamweed

          So this?

          “I give you permission to say ‘yes’ to wanting sex and requesting it when you want.”
          “And I give you permission to say ‘yes’ to relaxing and stopping trying to control everything.”

        2. DashWallkick

          “Permission” is a weird way to describe it. It’s not so much permission as it is learning healthier habits. Joyce has to unlearn immense shame and embarrassment, and Dorothy has to unlearn her staggering expectations of herself.

          Dorothy admitting she was human to Joyce while they were drunk was a huge, difficult thing for her. Joyce undressing with Joe was a huge, difficult thing for her. They will continue to slam headfirst into friction trying to unlearn habits.

  11. Chaucer59

    This is why so many guys believe in the “college girls are all bi” myth.

    1. Thomas

      Joyce strikes me as the ultimate LUG, though. So does Jennifer, now I come to think of it.

      1. Thomas

        …because, like in the current strip, Joyce doesn’t take ownership of her sexuality. Much like Jennifer with her “It was just a phase” attitude.

        1. Nymph

          This arc is literally about Joyce taking ownership of her sexuality. IDK how to tell you this but “not knowing she’s into girls” isn’t the same as playing it off as a phase.

    2. Nymph

      Because two girls at college might be bi? Maybe guys should learn not to view all women as a single entity without individuation. Sounds like a them problem.

  12. Taffy

    That doesn’t really answer the question.

  13. Jonah (firelight_waltz)

    did joe say he was taking joyce out on a date tonight, or just in general?? i couldn’t super tell. if it’s tonight we gotta unpack with SPEED

    1. Emperor Norton II

      Joyce wants to unpack Joe with speed, if you get my drift.

      1. Jonah (firelight_waltz)

        EYYYY

      2. Michael Steamweed

        Such a smashing joke!

  14. ian livs

    Real talk, though–I left fundamentalism over 6 years ago, and had mentally checked out a few years before that. That’s like a decade ago. I’ve been sexually active for most of that time, and I still catch myself (as someone raised AFAB in evangelicalism) thinking sex is something done “to” me, not “with” me. I want to note that both my partners in this time span have been wonderful people, it’s just that the conditioning since birth can be really hard to unravel.

    Dorothy is completely right in pointing out the phrasing/way of thinking is messed up. But yeah, it can take a while to unpack and replace with healthier ways of thinking. I don’t know how long it takes yet, because I’m still not completely over it. …Idk what the point of this comment was. Just… yeah, Joyce, that’s rough.

    1. Michael Steamweed

      Cleaning out the fundieness from your mind can sure take a while.

    2. JWK

      Never was a Fundamentalist, but attitudes from our culture when I was young are awfully hard to shake off. Even against stuff I know is true. I have hang-ups to this day based upon stuff I know doesn’t matter. Thankfully there is no God involved or I’d be baked.

  15. Reltzik

    Can’t tell if healthy or not…

    1. Dday

      Sorry Fry, that’s humans for ya.

  16. IntangibleMatter

    Joyce is taking things at her own speed, and we’re proud of her for that.

  17. Throwatron

    this is so romantic

    wait

    shit

  18. Suet

    how long is a while

  19. BBCC

    I like the distinction of with vs to and I like that they give each other permission to say yes.

    Very kinky of them 😛

    1. Taffy

      Now I’m curious if “I don’t consent to you consenting” is a thing.

      1. Jamie

        It is. Some people do not want power, even in a controlled situation.

        1. Taffy

          I don’t see the connection between the two ideas.

        2. Briar

          I think Jamie’s talking about stuff like…
          Person A: I’m okay with you choking me a bit. My safeword is pineapple.
          Person B: *I’M* not okay with that. I don’t want that power over you.

          A better way to put it though might be ‘consent has two parts, even if one person is an active participant and the other person is passive’.

        3. Taffy

          Ah, that makes sense. I guess it also equals out to “You can’t say yes because I already said no.”

  20. Francoinblanco

    You were supposed to abandon conformism, not change your master

    1. Taffy

      [Star Wars reference]

    2. Michael Steamweed

      Joyce [to Dorothy]: When I left you, I was but the learner, but now I am the mistress.

  21. AlexaSpuds

    This is some of the gayest and most recipe for bad decisions coded shit I’ve ever seen, I love it so fucking much

  22. Dday

    Hey did anyone else realize this dialogue is probably a reference to Anti-Joyce?
    https://www.itswalky.com/comic/hey-walky/
    Ehh?

  23. Danae Jay, Local Gay

    oh my *God* just please date

    1. Amós Batista

      Yes, it’s taking so long…

    2. Michael Steamweed

      Haven’t they already been on two dates? (technically speaking, at least)

      (which brings to mind lucy’s ‘third date’ nonsense…hmmm…)

  24. Florence

    That’s interesting

    *takes a sip of my tea*

  25. Freezer

    I’m put in mind of a piece of Frozen Rule 34 that had Anna having sex with Kristoff… And Elsa was in bed with them, reading a book while holding Anna’s hand (fully clothed, BTW).

    1. Taffy

      That’s disgusting. Where?

      1. AGV/Ruby

        Can I link it here?
        https://rule34.xxx/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=1560807

        It was very easy to find and it’s hilarious how much it represents whatever’s happening between these three

        1. Michael Steamweed

          An interesting take on the primae noctis (possibly fictional) practice.

        2. Freezer

          Anna’s *GLEE* face and Kristoff’s “I know I agreed to this but come on!” expression make that pic.

        3. Taffy

          More smut should be funny like this.

        4. Jeremiah

          Hate it.

    2. Francoinblanco

      Its nice not to be alone with that image

  26. drs

    Dorothy: “I don’t remember agreeing to a mutual CNC relationship.”

    1. Mark

      They’re headed for the maker lab?

      1. Michael Steamweed

        Me [giving slow applause]: Well done!

  27. Ray Radlein

    I asked her with my eyes to ask again yes and then she asked me would yes to let her say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around her yes and drew her down to me so she could feel my breasts all perfume yes and her heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes

    1. NickG

      I think that’s a different Joyce…

      1. Ray Radlein

        +1

  28. Jamie

    Well. That’s … progress.

  29. Amós Batista

    Is alt text telling us that some real sex will take more time to happen?

    1. Michael Steamweed

      It’s taking Willis a lot of time to get that next Slipshine done. 🙂

  30. Zaxares

    Dorothy’s right though. At some point, Joyce is gonna need to go over this list with Joe. The exact manner in which the conversation takes place will vary from couple to couple, but it’s VERY important that the other person be informed of what you would like to do with/to them, and if they are comfortable/happy to do those things. Otherwise (and this is speaking from the PoV of someone who is part of the BDSM community), you are potentially setting both of you up for some very harsh words and hurt feelings. Or worse, if one or more of those things is something that one person cannot live without, it could end the relationship, and oftentimes it’s best that people find out sooner rather than later before bonds get too deep.

    1. thejeff

      Possibly, but it’s a big ask for a college couple exploring their first real relationship (and for one, their first sex), to do all that work up front. Especially when they probably don’t know a lot of it.
      Can’t they explore together to find out what they actually want?

      1. Nymph

        They absolutely can and there’s nothing wrong with it. Some people in the comments are just high strung.

      2. Zaxares

        I DID say that the exact manner that would take place would vary from couple to couple. 😉 For some people, it’s just snuggling on a couch and going with the flow. (The problem here is that Joyce is too clueless about it all and would just freeze up, and for his part Joe is afraid to take the lead because he doesn’t want to inadvertently trample Joyce’s boundaries that she doesn’t even know herself.) For others, it might be a whole “sit down at a table with a contract” a la Fifty Shades-style. But regardless of how it’s done, it SHOULD be done.

    2. Pergola

      And of course spontaneity will be first on the list!

  31. darkoneko

    Joyce, just now that sounded kinda… 😀

  32. Michael Steamweed

    A problem with personal growth is that it’s like moving residences. Unpacking one’s baggage can take longer than the original packing did.

  33. Lysbeth

    This might well end up with Joe chaperoning these two

  34. Zamperla

    Given the physics involved in both a kneejob and pegging, I think a few of those things might need to be done TO joe. But. Baby steps.

    Also at this point I feel a bit like I should be offering the Dorothy/Joyce shippers a fruit basket or a sympathetic shoulder or something. I feel like “euphemism for that time you taught me how to masturbate used as a touchstone for our closeness” is a new bar of some kind or another.

  35. Nono

    In regards to the current poll. I believe that “what they’re doing right now” is more romantically gay, while the other thing is physically gay.

  36. Juanoku

    Is a cuck chair going to be needed here? Not just by Joe just like, in general

    1. Da Boy

      Maybe a closet and Superman costume instead?

      1. Jeremiah

        Reported for Rick and Morty reference.

        1. Da Boy

          “You will not stop me and my references!”
          He screams as he gets dragged away to Cringe Prison

  37. Holly

    But is Brimping on the list?

    (shoutout to Starsky and Fraction)

  38. Yeet

    starting to think joyce might actually need to spend some time learning how to talk about sex with… whoever teaches adults that before she moves on to talking to joe about this

    1. Rowan

      Agreed; Christian sex education leaves a lot to be desired and coming out of purity culture is rough. I would love to be able to give advice and a hug to Joyce right now.

  39. Mark

    Joyce now has this huge list with a lot of stuff she likely would never have thought of. It’s gotta be somewhat overwhelming. No wonder she wants help!

    My advice: pick three and put the master list away. (For later?)

  40. Kazuma Taichi

    as is expected, given my randomly assigned gravatar, I too prefer the sound of/implication of sex stuff being done to me rather than with me

  41. Felian

    This is literally a part of religious sexual shame i am 100% familiar with.
    If something is done *to me*, then i can’t be guilty for *doing it*. If i happen to like it, wellll….. IT WASN’T MY FAULT, THE OTHER PERSON INITIATED IT

    It’s a bad way to do sex (unless it’s specifically negotiated and/or you take turns taking charge), but it follows a sexual shame logic.

  42. Call Me Deacon Blues

    I feel like this is going to end up with “Hey Joe, I would like to do sex stuff with Dorothy please.” Somewhat soon… which for Willis can mean like, 2 years from now

Leave a Reply to Michael Steamweed Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.