150

Dan
Posted on June 9, 2013 by David M Willis

150 thoughts on “Dan”

  1. TurtlyLooker

    They are the most married.

    1. robdeweese

      is that recognized in the state of Indiana? or are they just the most civil unioned?

      1. TurtlyLooker

        Civil-union-ed, I suppose.
        Civil-united?
        Trying to say it just makes it sound and feel really awkward.

        1. Narf

          Civily(lly?) united!

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Someone will be sleeping on the couch tonight.

      1. Yotomoe

        If I had a roomate I’d sleep on the couch too. Couches are comfortable.

        1. Wonder Wig

          If I had a couch I’d sleep on my roomate. Roomates are comfortable.

        2. Skull025

          If I had a mate I’d sleep on my room. Rooms are comfortable.

        3. TPman

          If I had a room I would mate on my couch.

        4. ninja_jesus

          If I had a couch I would room on my mate.

        5. Rex Hondo

          If my room had a couch, my mate and I would Joe on it.

        6. Totz the Plaid

          If my mate had a room I would couch on the sleep.

        7. Insanely Asinine

          I joe you guys.

        8. Rex Hondo

          Not without buying us dinner first, you don’t!

        9. Ivan

          If I had a handful of nickels, I’d do all your Mom’s on the couch in the room while your ‘mate got it on video!

        10. Tandel

          Alright folks pack it up. Great work and kudos on the fact delivery!

          /thread

        11. Jenny Creed

          If I had a mate I would couch on my room. Whilst asleep on the wheel. On the ship. Because he’s a ship’s mate.

        12. Yotomoe

          Especially the rounder ones.

        13. bunivasal

          Mine wasn’t. She was all angular in the elbows and knees, plus if I ever tried to sleep on her there’d be the constant beatings from my girlfriend.

        14. vlademir1

          Well, obviously you should have slept oh the roommate together.

    3. Cholma

      It’s just Guy Love. Between two guys!

      1. Tom Speelman

        Guy Love: He’s mine; I’m his!

        1. Yotomoe

          There’s nothing gay about it in our eyes.

        2. Notebooked

          You ask me ’bout this thing we share, and he tenderly replies,
          it’s guy love! Between two guys…

      2. Kernanator

        “Two buff guys standing side by side. That’s all. What? What’s the problem?”

        1. BlueHoundoom

          Iseewhatyoudidthar…

  2. SUGauthor

    That was rather rude of Joe.

  3. Kartewns

    They’re practically engaged, Jacob.

    1. Yotomoe

      Sounds like a step down, really.

  4. Geminia999

    Man, my friend always Dan a relationship. Weird how his name is Joe.

    1. TPman

      Please tell me your name is Dan and that you’re a total man-whore. Please.

      1. Yotomoe

        And that your friend Joyce is a lesbian who’s trying to make her relation ship work with a bible thumping dude named Ethan….
        Actually no. Don’t tell us if that happens.

        1. Geminia999

          Nah, but my friend Billie is extremely depressed right now and is drinking a lot of booze. Luckily Ruth is there to try and help her out right, with more booze… I should go check on them.

        2. Raen

          …Joyce is a lesbian now? Little premature on that, don’t you think?

        3. Raen

          …wait, never mind.

        4. Yotomoe

          It’s not if you read everything before that :3.

  5. Khantalas

    So which one is Turk and which one is J.D.?

    1. Yotomoe

      As if you have to ask.

      1. robdeweese

        does that mean ruth is Dr. Cox?

        1. Yotomoe

          Then Billie’d be Jordan.
          Would amber be Elliot?

        2. bunivasal

          Elliot’s more like Joyce. Desperate to please and wracked with WASPy nueroses.

        3. Notebooked

          Mike is the Janitor, obviously.

      2. Kernanator

        I do!

    2. Justnobody

      And now I re-read the comic in Turk and J.D.’s voices, making it 100% better. Thank you, kind sir.

      1. Totz the Plaid

        So did I. I wasn’t sure whose voice to read Jacob’s line in, but eventually I settled on Dr. Kelso.

        1. Ivan

          I re-read it using the voices in my head. All I kept hearing was “Just kill them! Kill them and eat their livers!”

          Does that change the outcome at all?

  6. Stephen

    Mawage, that bwessed awangement, that dweam wifin a dweam.

    1. Kernanator

      Then wove, twue wove, will fowwow you fowevah.

      1. Rex Hondo

        Anybody want a peanut?

        1. Narf

          Inconceivable!

        2. Kernanator

          You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

        3. Narf

          YES!!! 😀 OMG YES!

          Kern, I love you so much. 😀

  7. Plasma Mongoose

    I hope that when I have a relationship, I will never Dan it into the ground.

    1. Yotomoe

      But I hope we Joe it up regularly.

      1. TPman

        As long as you don’t Joe the relationship. Joe-ing in general is a positive thing, but a relationship that’s been Joe’d never lasts long.

    2. NaptownSnake

      Aren’t you like 50?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        YES. Sure the odds are rather low but if 70 and 80 somethings can find love, then there is a small chance that I won’t have to die a bachelor.

      2. Andiemus

        Never ask a mongoose its age!

      3. Ivan

        Do you have any idea how easy women are after 35? Where do you think that joke about “the difference between dog poop and….” came from?

        The women are easier to pick up!!

  8. Yotomoe

    Since 1997, Buddy.

  9. Kernanator

    Cue speculation as to what other names-as-verbs would be.

    1. Yotomoe

      Joycing someone would involve annoying them to no end and then scaring them off with your misguided view of how the world works.

    2. TPman

      Dorothy – To focus all of one’s efforts on a single thing to the neglect of other aspects of one’s life.
      ex. Man Joe was always a man-whore, but now he’s just Dorothying it.

    3. Yotomoe

      Sarahing would involve never bothering to meet that person, but assuming they suck and hold that against them.

      1. TPman

        ex. Danny Sarahs M.Night.Shyamalan because his movies suck, unaware that he is a really nice guy who just likes to kick back and try to get a laugh out of the people who read the comments section on webcomics.

    4. TPman

      Joyce, verb- To recount or proselytize one’s own views in order to reaffirm them in your own mind.
      ex. To this day my little brother Joyces that the Star Wars prequels are better than the original films.

    5. Plasma Mongoose

      Name/Meaning
      Joe = Sexing up
      Dan = Grinding down
      Ethan = Hide, conceal
      Dina = To show up unexpectedly

      1. Rex Hondo

        All of which are totally usable in a sexual context.

    6. Lurlock

      Dinaing is just the act of randomly appearing in a room (or having silently been there the entire time) while everybody assumed you were across town or something.

      1. Lurlock

        Gah, beaten by 1 minute…

        1. Beige

          your comment got dina’d 😉

      2. Yotomoe

        Ex. I was coming out of the bathroom when suddenly My roomate dina’d me. I thought she was getting her nails done!

    7. Yotomoe

      Billie: When you are very attractive, and seem like you’ve sealed the deal, but either by fault of your own or someone else you fail to make a connection at the last minute.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Sierra = Going barefoot

        1. Yotomoe

          Ex. When I’m home I just Sierra all day. Air the dogs out.

    8. Wonder Wig

      To Walky, is to walk to Taco Bell instead of drive because all members in your party are unillegible to do so for any reason.

      1. Ivan

        >> “unillegible”

        Better define that one too!

    9. Yotomoe

      Mike: To ruin someones day just for the hell of it.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        My day was well and truly miked… yeah that works well.

      2. Kernanator

        If this does not become commonly used, I will be sad.

      3. TPman

        When I get mad some times I take it out on other people and Mike the hell out of them.

      4. Lurlock

        I’d think that Miking would involve Joeing someone’s mother. For a nickel, etc.

        1. Ivan

          Getting or giving the nickel? This is important, for it defines man-whoring vs. Man-Whoring!!

    10. Yotomoe

      Jason: To wear one accessory with all of your outfits, so much so that you’re defined by it.
      ex. Wow, you’ve worn that hat every day for three weeks now! Are you trying to jason it in?

    11. spaceinvader42

      Of course, to Sal would be to enter a room through the window.

    12. spaceinvader42

      To Amber would be to secretly dress up as a superhero and fight crime.

      1. Tom Speelman

        To Amber would also mean staying up all night on the Internet reading slash fic.

        1. Yotomoe

          I think we’ve all ambered at least once or twice.

        2. vsophi

          Followed by a frantic ethaning when somebody walks into the room.

      2. Davriel

        Wouldn’t that be to Sal?

        1. Davriel

          Or would that be to exit through a window?

    13. AgentKeen

      So would Mary mean to not put clothes on until late afternoon, or to be extremely judgmental of anyone that doesn’t share your view?

      Or should it be super specific and mean to be extremely judgmental of anyone that doesn’t share your view while not putting clothes on until late afternoon?

    14. AgentKeen

      Galasso: to plot world domination while running a mildly successful local business

      1. Yotomoe

        See Also: Mcdonalds.

    15. Notebooked

      Joeing: Man, you don’t even wanna know.

      Ethan: To ignore something and hope it goes away.
      Ex: “My sink’s dripping, but I’m Ethaning it. It’s not worth the bother.”

      1. Ivan

        “My sink is dripping, but it’s very embarrassed about that reality. And you should see it “Ethan” the next morning, after the plumber uses his snake!”

        (I’ll leave the plumber ‘butt-crack’ lines for the next person!)

  10. Wonder Wig

    There’s a green wig on the floor. A clue…

    1. Geminia999

      It isn’t a wig silly! It’s a buried Lemming!

    2. Kernanator

      But where’s the blue paw print?

    3. Yotomoe

      So the culprit had to be a COSPLAYER, of course!!!

  11. xain

    Can’t you see Danny, Joe’s a manwhore for your sake

    1. Ivan

      Joe will die during a manwhoring, as a sacrifice for Joyce and the rest of the fundies who deny him!

      And on the 3rd day, his zombie corpse, with some help from Viagra, will rise! to do some more, and cleanse the masses from the urethra of —-

      (sorry…. I ran out of bad ideas on this one.)

  12. gangler

    If by positive energy you mean reporters.

  13. Kernanator

    Good thing Joe gathers that positive energy. It’s how they fight off the undead!

    1. Historyman68

      You can really see all the positive energy in action.

    2. nothri

      Only in third edition.

  14. ArkhamTexan

    Dammit, I just love Joe. He’s definitely my favorite.

    1. Chibi Squirt

      I, too, love Joe, and I would be 100% with you, if only it weren’t for Jacob. HE is DEFINITELY my favorite.

      Look at his face! His wee little face up there!

  15. Uniqueantique

    Interesting strip. The comments were pretty clever tonight. Love the verbage.

  16. AsimovSideburns

    I’m waiting for Ethan to see this, assume Danny and Joe are bisexual, and then try to ask one of them out after his relationship with Joyce breaks down.

  17. ninja_jesus

    So will “Dan” now be considered a verb as well as a noun?

  18. Jesse

    Sneaky Scrubs reference?

    1. Khantalas

      Sneaky?

      1. Boom

        Scrubs?

        1. Khantalas

          Reference?

        2. begbert2

          ??

        3. Chronos

          !

        4. Ivan

          ¿

        5. Jesse

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNJ1B_2b17s

  19. Rex Hondo

    And by “positive energy,” he means “sex stank.”

  20. Robin

    joe really really likes turning people’s names into verbs

    I would suggest calling “turning people’s names into verbs” joe-ing, but no doubt he already has another meaning for “joe-ing”.

    1. someguywithakatana

      that’s actually come up once or twice in the other comic. Maybe in this one. I forget.

      Can someone with an obsessive fixation on Willis link every single comic where Joe has used the term “Joe-ing”

      1. Notebooked

        None in book 1, at least!

    2. molochmachine

      On Calvin and Hobbes, turning any noun into a verb is called verbing. Verbing weirds language.

      1. Lurlock

        By no means invented by Calvin and Hobbes. The process of verbing has happened for centuries. Even the word “verbing” has been around for quite some time.

    3. Totz the Plaid

      I associate it with Community.

  21. bunivasal

    Danny, I see a lot of myself in you.

    I knew there was a reason I hated you! God, Danny, you suck.

    1. Ivan

      He “sucks” because you are in him! What the hell are you doing in him in the first place!?

    2. Animal

      Why don’t you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don’t you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don’t you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?

  22. WhiteEyedCat

    Dumbiverse Jacob’s only had like two lines, and yet he’s still one of my favourite characters.

  23. Scott

    Dude we’re a little married.

    1. Khantalas

      I know, I love it.

  24. Plasma Mongoose

    I wonder if they got rings.

    1. Kernanator

      Green Lantern ones, obviously.

      1. Chronos

        Danny’s is blue, actually.

        1. Andiemus

          Is there a power ring of mopiness?

      2. Chronos

        He *was* hoping Amazi-girl would be there…

        1. Kernanator

          …That makes too much sense.

  25. Rimas

    Is no one else wondering why there’s a Sunday update? o_o.

    1. Bekah

      No. Just you. The rest of us paid enough attention over the last few weeks to realize that we donated $50k to Willis’ kickstarter project and made this happen.

  26. Zobot257

    How are these two friends again?!?

    1. robdeweese

      not friends, married….

  27. Kitty

    Eh I think most guys have a heterosexual life partner thing going with their best friend from high school. My boy’s still lives with us and he acts more married to him than me! It’s funny

    1. robdeweese

      I had a hetero life partner when I was young… until he started hanging with douche bags and I hooked up this awesome chick who fights crimes…

      wait, sorry I think my perception of reality is starting to warp

  28. Jererry

    Nothing makes me much happier (at least in this series) than when Danny gets his self-righteous ass handed to him.

    1. Jason

      Isn’t it Joe who’s being the jerk here?

      1. Aydr

        For some reason it never seems to matter. It’s kind of creepy how much people in these comments hate Danny.

        1. taekwondogirl

          Agreed. I don’t get the Dorothy hate either. Everyone just likes to be judgmental, I think.

  29. Em

    In THIS series, I have yet to start hating Danny. So…I think Joe is the douche here. Joe doesn’t have relationships. His goal is to hit it and quit it, so YES obviously he’s going to want to have as good of a time as possible so that the underwear will drop. That’s not Danny’s goal. So Joe and Danny can’t really give each other advice, in my opinion.

  30. joeyo

    We need to find a way to combine the terms “Bromance” and “married”

    Broied? Matribrony?

    Matribrony sounds like a brony wedding.

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