123

Dated
Posted on June 26, 2021 by David M Willis

123 thoughts on “Dated”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “You act like I’m a Chidi, but I’m much more an Eleanor”

    (Jason Mendoza FTW tho)

    1. Mr D

      How the hell do you even comment before the comic is even up???

      1. Wagstaff

        She probably pays to read tomorrow’s strip and comments on that.

        1. King Daniel

          Tomorrow’s strip is available on Patreon, not on the DoA site itself to my knowledge.

        2. Wagstaff

          That’s what I mean.

        3. Chris

          Even so, there have been days when she’s posted within two seconds after the new comic went live.

        4. Wagstaff

          She makes the comment ahead of time, and copies and pastes it real fast, like those guys who get Comicon tickets.

        5. Mr D

          I was reloading the page over and over and over while waiting for the comic to be uploaded. Ana’s comment was already posted the milisecond the comic was up!

      2. Roborat

        She has the super double secret patreon level.

    2. Rose by Any Other Name

      Tahani is my favorite.

      Also… is that supposed to be Sarah saying that? That seems like the only interpretation that makes sense in context, but I’m not… sure why Sarah would claim to be Eleanor.

    3. JustcallmeSoul

      I kinda sorta hate that I understand this reference and 100% hate that I agree.

    4. GreyICE

      Blake Bortles is relevant again!

      Kind of…

      1. Ana Chronistic

        I just finished bingeing is why I mentioned

        also why I was late for tomorrow’s (6/27’s) comic but my prepared comment was pretty Jason-worthy so w/e

  2. King Daniel

    Did Sarah have a falling out with Other Jacob???

    1. Wizard

      His batteries died, and she didn’t have any spares. It was tragic.

      1. Wagstaff

        When life gives you lemons, fashion them into a battery!

        1. Sunny

          With one copper spike, one zinc spike, and some wires it can be done.

      2. He Who Abides

        I have a potentially relevant comment, but I need to check and see if it’s okay to post. Might be a few hours.

        1. Wagstaff

          If it’s about the Energizer Bunny, go ahead!

        2. He Who Abides

          Nah, it was about my high-libido friend and her increased need for batteries over this past year.

        3. Wagstaff

          Dark chocolate and oysters could help, otherwise I don’t know….

        4. Roborat

          Rechargeables are your friend, and budget saver.

  3. RassilonTDavros

    Huh, now I’m kinda curious. Has this part of Sarah’s past come up before and am I just forgetting it, or is this something the comic has never gone into?

    1. Leorale

      It’s new! Bring on the red panels.
      (Though I hope it’s just mundane blechy dating, not trauma.)

      1. Sirksome

        “Not everything’s a goddamn CW drama.” It was probably just bleh. Young relationships are usually brief or disappointing.

        1. Thag Simmons

          Yeah Sarah’s fairly mundane compared to the rest of the cast and I doubt she has the sort of complex interlocking superhero origin we see with some of the other characters

        2. Delicious Taffy

          Nope. If we’re going by CW standards, Sarah must have dated Joyce’s brother or possibly her own (unknown at the time (to her)) cousin. Also probably bit resulted in a queer person getting chopped up and chucked in a bathtub or something equally terrible that people would still defend.

        3. Regalli

          Sarah’s twin was killed after discovering the truth of the local drug smuggling/body harvesting cult, and also that their family carries the serial killer gene. Or something. I know those are all plot points from Riverdale but I have no idea how much anything fits together there.

        4. The Lurker

          Is the CW still a thing or are we referencing historical events?

        5. RassilonTDavros

          W…well I guess that explains why we haven’t seen Liz Clinton in the Dumbiverse

          (yes i know she was sarah’s younger sister, but many age gaps are radically different in this universe)

        6. King Daniel

          It’s also possible that Liz could be Sarah’s older sister here – Riley was older than Roz in the Walkyverse.

        7. RassilonTDavros

          @King Daniel: …was she? I don’t recall it being stated that Riley was older than Roz in Shortpacked! Riley looked pretty dang little in the flashback to Robin running away from home and that was explicitly stated to be after their dad abandoned his family. That flashback took place when Robin was sixteen, and Walkypedia gives her date of birth as 1980 (though admittedly it’s been wrong before– I have my doubts about Walkyverse Billie being born in 1981). Assuming Roz was at least 18 when she first appeared in 2009, that means she would have to be at least 5 in 1996, which is older than flashback Riley looks. Sure, Riley was taller than Roz as an adult, but that doesn’t mean anything.

          You might be thinking of Danny’s brother Randy, who was younger in the Walkyverse but is older in the Dumbiverse.

        8. zee

          Man i wish my young relationships were just disappointing. My love life was a damned cw drama

  4. DailyBrad

    Heh, grouch. I could see this being just Sarah being prickly, or maybe she legit has not dated. We’ve seen how she prioritizes her studies, after all.

  5. Beau Kirin Maysey

    “not everything’s a gd CW drama” NOT YET, SARAH. NOT YET…

    1. Cattleprod

      There’s some pretty terrible parents in DoA, but there’s a lot of ground to cover to catch up with Riverdale’s cult leader, serial killer, biker gang leader, and maple syrup-based organized crime.

      1. jothki

        You never know, the strip could end up pulling another It’s Walky.

      2. BarerMender

        Is this the Rivedale from Archie comics, or is this some other Riverdale?

        1. brionl

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riverdale_(2017_TV_series)

          On the CW, of course.

        2. Daibhid C

          I don’t watch it, but every so often someone in social media mentions a plot point and I think “And this is based on the old comic strip/cartoon with ‘Sugar, Sugar’ and the kid in the silly hat? I mean, what?”

        3. Thag Simmons

          yes

      3. Cattleprod

        I was in the middle of typing out a correction that Betty’s mom wasn’t actually the leader of the cult (at least by the point I was still watching) but then I remembered that Veronica’s father was also a cult leader. I honestly can’t remember if Mr. Lodge was the secret mastermind behind the first cult or the leader of a totally different one, it’s a convoluted show.

    2. C.T. Phipps

      Someone contact CW and get them to offer Willis a contract!

      1. RedCat

        content warning?

        1. C.T. Phipps

          “May contain teenagers acting stupidly.”

  6. Sirksome

    Am I suddenly interested in Sarah’s relationship history!?!?……No….No not really.

    1. Leorale

      Accurate Sarah grav is accurate

  7. Stephen Bierce

    Somebody hid my Archies music–or maybe it’s at my brother’s house.

    1. Wagstaff

      I can’t think of anything to play, either.

      By the way, a few strips ago, what did you mean by “don’t parody a parody”?

      1. Stephen Bierce

        Recognizing when something is a spoof should be a sign not to spoof it.

        1. Wagstaff

          Huh. Anything I may have used?

        2. Thag Simmons

          You can totally parody a parody, especially if it’s a bad parody

        3. Wagstaff

          Yeah, if that alleged “rule” about parodies always applies, then titles like Angry Birds would be neither functional not popular.

        4. milu

          I got the feeling those were rules Stephen’s own personal set of rulea for posting song titles here, they weren’t demanding other people follow them!

        5. Stephen Bierce

          Exactly this. Nothing about Wagstaff. I put this rule in place for myself even before I hit the Internet some two decades ago!

    2. Delicious Taffy

      I’m reminded of Archie’s Weird Mysteries, specifically the episode where Archie and the gang trap a genie in a bottle of ketchup.

    3. Roborat

      Sure they didn’t take it out in the backyard and gave it a quiet burial? Or maybe something akin to the Surfing Bird conclusion in Family Guy?

  8. Spencer

    What if Sarah takes Joe up on his offer to be used as a receptacle for Sarah being angry, and then Joyce assumes something is going on.

    You’d best start believing CW Dramas, Sarah, yer in one.

    1. He Who Abides

      Considering how much speculation goes on around here about which characters are going to get together, Barbossa’s “Now, what’s happened to my ship?” line seems pretty relevant sometimes.

  9. BBCC

    *chanting* Story time! Story time! Story time!

    1. Spencer

      *pounds tables* STORY TIME!

    2. StClair

      Sarah: “NO.”

      1. Thag Simmons

        someone go get the iguana

        1. Sunny

          .

    3. RacingTurtle

      Storytime with Sarah!

      …or not

    4. deathjavu

      Once upon a time, it wasn’t story time, and Sarah was much happier.

      1. milu

        *gasp* that was PERFECT

    5. ValdVin

      Storyyyyyytiiiiiiime!

  10. Ray Radlein

    PULL THE MELODRAMA TAG

    1. Demoted Oblivious

      There’s nothing mellow about it!

  11. Smooti

    … Yknow, Luce, sometimes people just … don’t date and don’t like doing it. And they live perfectly happy and normal lives!

    That being said I really don’t know who else in the cast would be good for date advice. Dorothy, I guess, but that’s kinda muddled by her being an ex of someone involved

    1. Mnemnosyne

      Someone who hasn’t dated and doesn’t want to is fine; but they shouldn’t be giving advice of ‘don’t’ to someone who clearly does want to, especially when going along with the assumption that they have experience, creating a false sense of authority about the situation.

      1. Sirksome

        Lucy did ask for Sarah’s advice. That’s just her opinion. Lucy doesn’t have to take that advice. She’s the one assuming aSarah has any authority on dating just because she’s older. Only maybe a year or two older too. Exactly how much more experience could she have?

    2. Rowan

      I’m pretty sure Sarah isn’t one of those people, given her crush on Jacob.
      My bet is, she’s had a fling or two with intensely dissapointing guys and it went poorly so now she’s sour to relationships as a whole, though would still secretly like one.
      The same way she acts as though she doesn’t want friends but she clearly values Joyce’s friendship, it’s just hard to get through her defensive layer of prickles

      1. Geneseepaws

        Doing the right thing from the moral high ground’ and feeling betrayed your friends — I get Sarah. I’m just sorry for her pain.

      2. zee

        Well, the reason her crush on Jacob died in the first place is because she wanted meaningless sex with him because he’s hot, and he wanted a serious committed relationship

      3. ValdVin

        I can see that having happened, and with the drama over her ex-roomie she basically wants to buckle down, maintain her scholarships, and get thru college and law school.

        In the future, who knows? But I’m older than Willis and will not survive the in-universe time, advancing at one week a year, getting there, even if Willis doesn’t wrap it up at or before graduation.

  12. Joyfulldreams

    I’m ace so my instant reaction to this sort of thing is to roll my eyes and grown. Ah yes, the only reason a person could not like dating people is TRAUMA….

    1. eh, whatever

      Sarah, though, is well established as neither aromantic (see: Jacob) nor for that matter asexual (see: Other Jacob).

      1. milu

        Well, but Lucy isn’t aware of either of these Jacobs. she’s just assuming.

        1. ValdVin

          The normaller and more presentable Lucy has promised to stay away from whoever that is.

  13. SomebodyOnceToldMe

    Honestly hoping it was just really stupid. With all the other drama happening it’d be kinda funny and bit of a twist lol

    1. Regalli

      Yeah, I am team ‘Sarah casually dated in the past with some High School/College Freshman Dude and they were just really mediocre.’ No date rape, no familial nemesis history, merely the kind of dude that stars in Overheard Terrible First Date Twitter Threads or the like.

      1. Regalli

        Unless her tragic backstory (apart from Dana, of course) is that she dated said Mediocre Dude for like a month or more before realizing she didn’t actually like this guy once the immediate Asked Me Out hormones wore off.

        1. milu

          “Asked Me Out hormones” XD
          Yeah she absolutely wouldn’t want something like that to leak out.

  14. Tawnee

    Hi, local friendly confused Brit here, I had to look up what a CW is, and as someone who grew up in a time where there were only three (4 as I approached adolescence) TV channels, it still slightly blows my mind how specific channel branding can be.

    I don’t watch a whole bunch of TV now either, so the concept is still taking a while to grok.

    1. StClair

      For what it’s worth, we had a similar number of channels when I was growing up.

    2. bleepbloop

      Yeah, the CW is basically teen dramas and superhero shows (sometimes a mix of both). Mostly known for being extremely corny and/or low budget. A very interesting mix of content.

      1. Needfuldoer

        Warner’s intellectual properties, UPN’s production value.

  15. Dean

    Sarah has the serial killer gene!

  16. brionl

    Coming up next, Robin pulls the CW Drama Tag!

  17. Bagge

    Lucy narrating in the last panel make me laugh.

    1. Lone Duck

      Lucy: Clearly, she’s experienced SO MUCH trauma, her only way to cope is to repress it. *sniffle* Sarah’s so brave, and yet so fragile…
      Sarah: I’m still here!!
      Lucy: And yet she still struggles through it all, and let’s me know she’s here for me…
      Sarah: This is why I hate everything.

      1. StClair

        “Your latest issue of Hating Everything magazine is here.”
        “I hate latest issues.”

  18. Rabisch

    Sometimes I’ve the weird impression that everything in Sarah’s past was traumatic or she just hated it.

    1. BenRG

      Regrettably, some people’s lives are like that.

    2. Keulen

      It wouldn’t surprise me if that’s the case.

  19. Alice Macher

    If this were like the CW’s Riverdale, Ruth’s grandfather would be around constantly and woudl be the Big Bad behind everything.

    He’d also be younger and super-hot, and have shirtless scenes.

    1. David M Willis

      I can still do the shirtless scenes

      1. He Who Abides

        No, bad Willis.

  20. Yotomoe

    https://imgur.com/a/FdwP45e
    I just realized I wanted to draw Joyce. Being a little bit uncharacteristically saucy but cute.

    1. milu

      Joyce: What? I’m overdressed.
      Joe: *audible gulp*

    2. zee

      Your Joyce drawings are my favorite

    3. Roborat

      I think I like your version of Joyce better than the original.

  21. NinjaNick

    Melodramatic much?

  22. BenRG

    Maybe she is, Lucy. However, that doesn’t mean that it is a good idea to go rooting around trying to get her to tell you what it is!

  23. Keulen

    DoA Book 11: You’re Traumatic

  24. hof1991

    Betting there was fallout from her first year roommate drama that ruined a relationship. That convinced her that she can’t have nice things. She can grind away at life, enjoy other jacob and have a little sister, but the way the freshman pursue sex and comfort seems stupid and pointless to her. Dorothy is her positive mirror image. She takes things on their proper proportion and is at college for the academics. Most of the rest of the cast is there for late adolescence with a side of academics.

    Sarah is there for the academics alone and has shut down everything else. Her whole first year was trauma and third semester brought even more. She could use a lot less drama in her life. So she has no time for Lucy’s love life.

  25. Spencer

    Maximum drama: Sarah started dating Dana’s boyfriend.

  26. C.T. Phipps

    Head canon until proven otherwise: Sarah actually just wanted a relationship about sex but her boyfriend kept trying to invoke feelings.

    1. He Who Abides

      That’s happened to a friend of mine. Like, at least three times now where she’s had to stop sleeping with someone because they caught feelings.

  27. Deanatay

    Lucy: But, I’m just a sweet, young innocent girl with no malicious intent whatsoever!

    Malaya: YOU! THE DEVIL!!

    Sarah: YOU’RE Traumatic!

    Conclusion: Lucy grates on people whose personalities are like human sandpaper.

    1. Council

      For Sarah, that fits

      I’d describe malaya more like poorly made asphalt that gets all gooey in bad weather and makes your boots stick to everything

      1. Spencer

        I just thought of something.

        My read on Malaya isn’t necessarily that they’re just an aggro dickhead all the time because they feel like it, but that they don’t have time for people who pretend to be something they’re not. Mary preaches piety and refuses to develop her artistic skills, Sal is transparently living out of the most cliche teen rebel handbook imaginable where she very tellingly only starts making some positive headway as a person when she stops being an isolated douchebag, patches things up with Walky, makes friends with Danny, Carla and Amber, and finally joins a Roller Derby league despite her stated hatred of “organized anything.

        So it’s possible it’s just that the joke is Lucy is actually as sweet and kind as she acts and Malaya’s reaction is inappropriate, but I wonder if maybe Malaya gave her such a hard time because she views Lucy’s constant sunny demeanor as inauthentic? Not that Lucy isn’t supposed to be happy and well adjusted, but that Lucy isn’t but forcing herself to appear that way as a result of some foreshadowed loneliness.

        1. Regalli

          I personally think Malaya’s assumption people are always fakers is in no small part projection because they felt they were putting on an act (either the act of being female or the ‘act’ of being nonbinary because they had imposter syndrome,) so obviously everyone else does too. Might have above-average perception, but they misread Sal’s motivations for the parts of her persona that aren’t 100% sincere (she doesn’t really think she’s better than everyone so much as she keeps people at arm’s length since it seems like she never had many friends – and knew Asher had sold her out to cover his own ass, which doesn’t inspire efforts to make new ones.) That said, I think you’re onto something with Lucy being so perky in an effort to be popular because she’s jealous of the cool kids, and I could see Malaya recognizing that quickly. When we’ve seen Lucy’s disappointment come out and the mask slip, there’s a definite vibe of desperation there.

        2. Spencer

          Yeah like, the core of every Lucy strip to me seems to be desperation. Walky asking her out didn’t feel like just getting noticed by a guy she had a crush on.

          “Let’s talk about when we first realized we liked each other!”, like, that is hiding something.

        3. Saria

          I would agree with that Lucy is trying to project a friendly, upbeat vibe in the hopes of making friends, and that Malaya could be sensing and being put off by Lucy pushing that persona… But I feel bad for Lucy since I don’t think that’s a bad thing to do? I actually feel a lot of connection to Lucy, since I was very quiet and shy but at one point I decided I was going to try to make more friends – and acted kinda like Lucy, trying to be more upbeat and outgoing, and organize events for people to do together. In a way, that reaction is what you are afraid of – that putting yourself out there like that just makes it seem like you are trying too hard and backfires. Makes it a no-win situation if you can’t fake social confidence until you get enough experience to make it.

        4. Regalli

          Yeah, I feel bad for her on the whole. Especially when, say, she’s hurt by people not attending her movie night unless Jennifer shows up, especially since Jennifer was getting the popularity solely on Being A High School Cheerleader. I think the issue with Malaya was a combination of Malaya assuming the worst of everyone (especially people who are cheery) and Lucy continuing to try and push Roomie Friendship, but that’s a thing plenty of college freshmen do because it’s often their first time having a roommate like that, and anyway Malaya wanted out IMMEDIATELY so Lucy leaving them alone probably wouldn’t have changed much. Lucy’s been pretty much a Nice, Normal Person, and even if she has some insecurity under the surface like we’re guessing, it’s still on a firmly relatable level. (I can’t see her pulling the ‘You WILL pick me up at 7’ or whatever line we saw from Mindy on Leslie.) Also Lucy needs some form of weakness or pressure point to exploit to carry arcs long term, so I think we’re trying to figure out what that might be since so far, she’s only had hints. (That’s not criticism of Lucy, that’s just ‘narratively you can only do so much with someone without a clear weak point.’ Bring on the depth!)

          And having the degree of social anxiety that I just don’t do much, gotta say, kudos to those who do put themselves out there even if they’re terrified.

    2. Needfuldoer

      Therefore, Lucynis either lower-grit sandpaper, or a smooth surface unaffected by silicon carbide.

  28. davidbreslin101

    Well, a bit of googling told me that “The CW” is a TV network. But I prefer to think that it stands for “The Clone Wars,” which in the Dumbiverse is notorious for its overblown relationship drama.

    1. BenRG

      Just so you know, CW is notorious for its dramas (even shows that you’d presume to be action-oriented, like superhero shows) to predominantly have scenes where two are characters sitting or standing still in a static frame talking about their feelings and other angst-inducing topics.

    2. Hinoron

      Oh good, so I wasn’t the only person unable to get that reference without some research.
      …Still falls kind of flat to anyone who hasn’t heard of one particular TV network local to one particular country.

  29. bcb

    Yes, let’s home there will be no straightwashing of ace or aro characters!

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